Luna 00:00:00:05 00:00:19:23 All right. If you haven't listened to part one yet, make sure you go and listen to that first, because this kind of jumps right into the middle of the conversation. So you're going to want some context, probably. Part one, I think, had a lot more personal stories and silliness. So make sure you go download and listen to part one before you hit play on part two.
Luna 00:00:20:11 00:00:52:22 Or don't you know it's your choice. But anyway, I hope you will, because it's fun. All right. We're going to jump right in. Hey there. Welcome to the Friend in Your Ear podcast. I'm your host, Linda Smith, and I will be that friend inside your ear. Well, we explore all things self-improvement. I'll share tips, motivation and positivity to help you live your best life.
Luna 00:00:53:18 00:01:17:11 From health and wellness to career and relationships. I've got you covered because that's what friends are for, right? So tune in every week for a friendly chat to brighten your day. And let's take every day a little better together, shall we, friend? And now on with the show. What are some common misconceptions about love and relationships?
Evan 00:01:18:17 00:01:54:21 Now, how many people think this? But I think a lot of some people must think if you're with the perfect person, then everything is perfect all the time. And it's, you know, zero or smooth sailing. And I think there it is easier if you're with the right person, but nothing is completely trouble free. But I do think if you have to work, you know, at night, day, bending over backwards to make a relationship work from another one.
Evan 00:01:55:21 00:02:08:20 But nothing is perfect either. And even we have things that we need to figure out and address and try to improve and talk it out and, you know, make it as best as we can.
Luna 00:02:09:04 00:02:35:05 And that's sort of the communication comes back in because it's pretty much all comes back to that. Yeah, things aren't going to be perfect all the time. Like it's like unusual if a couple never has a disagreement. But for it to work, you definitely need to be able to talk about it and work through it. So communication is is extremely, extremely important.
Luna 00:02:35:05 00:02:57:20 And I feel like whenever any of our friends have asked for advice, I feel like that in terms of, you know, about relationships, I feel like that's always the one that I want to tell them is like, you need to talk about things like right away, like, what do you love the most about each other?
Evan 00:02:59:09 00:03:03:20 I think that's a tough question because it's kind of like the What's your favorite song?
Luna 00:03:04:06 00:03:05:03 Yeah, it's hard.
Evan 00:03:05:11 00:03:05:19 To.
Luna 00:03:05:21 00:03:12:14 Pick a singular trait. It's more about the overall. Like everything we're melding together. Yeah.
Evan 00:03:12:16 00:03:19:06 Okay, how about this? I like the fact that we work well together as a relationship. Boom. Period.
Luna 00:03:19:12 00:03:38:15 Yeah. When we wrote our wedding vows, it was funny because we wrote them separately, but when we went to read them, we had written pretty much the same things. How we are just opposites in these different areas. And we're basically like puzzle pieces. Cheesy. The puzzle pieces, Yeah.
Evan 00:03:38:23 00:03:41:15 What do you love most about me?
Luna 00:03:41:17 00:04:05:14 Well, like I agree with your statement about that, It's hard to define what it's true. It's hard to pick a singular trait about a person when I think it is just the person and all their traits overall being able to like, work together. I think, like what I love most about you is that we're so aware that doesn't seem non-offensive.
Luna 00:04:05:15 00:04:19:10 It just doesn't seem weird and entwined and tangled. Melted, bound. Oh, like taking petition chain to get.
Evan 00:04:21:03 00:04:22:02 The ball to your chain.
Luna 00:04:22:15 00:04:43:05 Yeah, we're all. No, but we're just so we've basically. It's hard to imagine not being with you if you had to wrap this up and give this advice to someone who is still looking for that right person like their forever partner. Like what would your last piece of advice be?
Evan 00:04:43:23 00:05:03:13 I think the first thing that I tell anybody that ask that question is you just get to marry your best friend, because I've always felt like that's like the the thing that jumps out to me is I want to spend time with her. I want to be with her for a long period of time because we're best friends.
Evan 00:05:04:00 00:05:28:21 I'm not one of those people that feels like, Oh, I was home all day or all weekend. I got to get out of the house and like, you know, go to the bar with the boys or something like that. Like now I like being with my wife because I married my best friend. So it makes it very easy to want to spend time together and not, you know, regret any of that time.
Luna 00:05:29:05 00:05:35:13 Yeah, it's true. I don't think we've ever been like, Oh, man, he's home. I can't wait till he leaves
Evan 00:05:42:17 00:05:47:21 I think you've said that maybe a couple of times.
Luna 00:05:50:12 00:06:10:01 No, no, it is true. I don't really like. It just feels so natural that I hadn't really, like, thought about that. But. Yeah, it is. And it is true. There are some people who seem to like the pandemic. Kind of brought that out for a lot of people when they're forced to be with each other constantly, like you have to want to be with your partner.
Evan 00:06:10:09 00:06:26:14 Yeah. Yeah. Anybody that like, got divorced during the pandemic because they had to spend too much time with their husband or wife, it's like, wow, I mean, I feel bad for you, but, you know, let me tell you, that was on the right person to be married to anyway. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise if you got out early.
Evan 00:06:26:14 00:06:27:01 I don't know.
Luna 00:06:27:02 00:06:52:05 Yeah. So I guess find a person who you want to spend time with and things aren't going to be easy all the time. And so whoever you're with, you do not want to be the one like constantly making concessions because they are just going to jump jump out of the relationship if things aren't easy for them. Like if that's the case with whoever you're with and they like, do not want to work and do not want to like tile.
Luna 00:06:52:09 00:06:57:13 Yeah, like that's not the right person. Like they need to be willing to talk and work things out.
Evan 00:06:57:18 00:07:19:00 Yeah, it's a personal story that is kind of a small sample size, but kind of shows. That point is I used to work with a bunch of like guys in their sixties. Basically it was like a bunch of guys in the sixties and then me, it was like early thirties at that point, and most of them were just complaining about their wives all the time.
Evan 00:07:19:03 00:07:38:07 And then there was one other guy who didn't complain about his wife and would just say, I don't know you guys just complain constantly about your wife, like just want to be away from I want to be with my wife because I married my best friend. It's great, you know, no problems. Been married for decades and I was just kind of like, Yeah, that makes sense.
Luna 00:07:38:19 00:07:41:17 And so you were basically, like, agreeing with that person.
Evan 00:07:43:06 00:07:54:13 Yeah, it just seems like common sense, you know, Mary's somebody you want to be around because who knows where you're going to be around a bunch?
Luna 00:07:54:13 00:08:06:19 Don't stay for the sake of staying or marry for the sake of marrying. Like, make sure it's the right person. It doesn't matter when you get married or if you get married.
Evan 00:08:08:08 00:08:32:23 Yeah, I. I remember meeting somebody at a party, some guy, you know, in my youth who had been dating his girlfriend for like two and a half years. And he said that, well, we've been together for two and a half years. So I guess the next thing is I got to propose to her. And I was like, I don't know if over the number of years you're together is the only reason you should propose somebody.
Evan 00:08:34:06 00:08:46:21 You should you know, it should be something bigger than that, whether it's sooner or later. It shouldn't just be based on how long you've been together, because that's not a good indicator.
Luna 00:08:47:04 00:09:00:15 Yeah. Oh, actually, I remember this is like a callback to when, ah, the first year we were dating. So we were probably only together was for less than a year before. It was when we were at Pearl and I was doing, like the candy girl.
Evan 00:09:03:09 00:09:04:19 Some side gigs early on.
Luna 00:09:05:02 00:09:28:01 For a wedding. So was less than a year. And I remember it well. I remember the host at the end was like, You're going to marry this girl. Remember that? Anyway, before that, when we were working the wedding, he was doing photography and they had hired me because I had like it was really, really retro. Look. Yeah, they hired me to be a retro candy girl.
Evan 00:09:28:17 00:09:31:16 Serving like a tray of candy.
Luna 00:09:31:17 00:09:32:05 Yeah.
Evan 00:09:32:13 00:09:36:08 Like you're a hotdog vendor at a ballpark or something.
Luna 00:09:37:16 00:09:56:21 Oh, and there's a wedding anyway, and they did the one of those, like, couples dances where they said, you know, like, I've been married for, you know, five years or more, like, get on the dance floor. And then it would just keep getting higher and higher and higher until they finally had a very old couple that had been together for 50 plus years.
Luna 00:09:57:01 00:10:09:05 And when the deejay asked them what the secret was to having such a long, happy marriage, their answer was Marry your best friend. I don't know if you remember that.
Evan 00:10:09:05 00:10:10:00 Secret was.
Luna 00:10:11:18 00:10:20:06 But that's what I remember them saying, and they looked very happy. And then that same night, the guy who hired us for the party did ask you when you were going to marry me.
Evan 00:10:20:14 00:10:23:08 I said mid-October.
Luna 00:10:27:01 00:10:46:02 Anyway. So I guess I just wanted to say that story, because that does seem to be the key from both a couple. The has been together from so long as well as us who've been together for ten years. Well, 12 years, I guess.
Evan 00:10:46:02 00:11:02:10 Ten years married, 12 years together, so I would follow that advice, folks, because both of us have a 100% success rate with staying married.
Luna 00:11:02:10 00:11:36:18 So regardless of your relationship status, I think we all crave and need love in our lives. It doesn't matter where it's coming from. The mantra of the week is My world is a world of love. My world is a world of love. If you really take this to heart and embrace this, I hope that you will start to see and feel love all around you, in your relationships and your family life just in the world in general.
Luna 00:11:36:18 00:11:59:18 So open your heart and accept love from wherever it is all around us. I know it seems like there might be a lot of negativity and there's definitely hate if that's what you're looking for. But if you can focus on the love and the kindness that exists in the world around us, then you will see more and more of that.
Luna 00:12:00:14 00:12:28:12 What we put our focus on is what we tend to see more of in our lives because we are giving more attention to that thing. So if you want more love in your life, then focus on the love you have already. Focus on just loving yourself, loving anything, even if it's not people like, even if it's just loving your coffee in the morning, loving the feeling of your blankets, loving the sunshine in your windows.
Luna 00:12:28:18 00:12:36:22 Just fill your heart with love and you will invite more love into your life. Thank you so much for coming out to the podcast.
Evan 00:12:36:22 00:12:46:05 Evan You're welcome. And I get to Betty Boop boop. I had a fun time. I appreciate it.
Luna 00:12:46:18 00:12:57:11 He gets complimented for having a radio voice all the time, so I'm curious to know if you agree, if you do, feel free to leave a comment on the most recent post.
Evan 00:12:57:18 00:12:58:14 Call in folks.
Luna 00:12:58:14 00:12:59:08 on Instagram.
Evan 00:12:59:14 00:13:00:11 One on one role.
Luna 00:13:01:16 00:13:07:23 How am. Let me know if you think he is a radio voice or not. Feed his ego or don't.
Evan 00:13:08:15 00:13:11:05 Don't bother.
Luna 00:13:11:05 00:13:40:06 So I hope this podcast is helpful and some kind of way to anyone who is interested in how relationships last. And hopefully if you aren't in a happy relationship, you will be soon. I hope you have a great week. Thank you so much for letting me and my husband be the friends in your ear this week. Thanks again for tuning in and see you next time.
Luna 00:13:45:20 00:14:16:03 Hey, just wanted to let you know that if you enjoyed this two part series and you kind of crave some even more detailed story from our personal lives, make sure you go and subscribe to the podcast Patreon page at Patreon.com/thefriendinyourearpod, which you can find linked in the show notes because I'm posting the full 47 minute uncut episode there for your listening pleasure.
Luna 00:14:16:03 00:14:31:22 But please do it at your own discretion. It's not for those who are easily offended. It's just a little more kooky and personal. I guess. So. Anyway, I hope you go and check that out, if that is your jam and see you next time.