Cultivating Financial Wisdom and Patience in the Next Generation

Have you ever wondered how to strike that perfect chord between a thriving career and a vibrant family life? Join me, Dr. Suleiman Eani, as I sit down with Kirk, a dental business consultant who harmonizes his professional expertise with the melodies of a rich family experience. Together, we compose a narrative that takes you on a journey from his days as a music producer to co-running a seven-figure dental practice that operates efficiently on just a three-day workweek. Our conversation tunes into the strategies that fine-tune this balance, stressing the power of boundaries to safeguard those precious family moments.

Parenting might not come with a set of instructions, but it brims with life's most profound teachings. In this episode, we orchestrate a discussion on cultivating financial savvy and patience in our children, revealing the layers of learning that go into teaching the value of a dollar earned and the virtue of waiting for life's crescendos. We share personal stories on how we encourage our children to manage their earnings and the importance of a calm demeanor. It's an insightful exploration into how these lessons in finance and patience play out in real-life scenarios, fortifying both financial literacy and emotional intelligence in our little ones.

The episode crescendos with a focus on leadership and communication within the family symphony. We examine the strength of leadership through vulnerability and the importance of setting aside ego to foster open communication, even when it's challenging. I also reflect on the role of consistent discipline in parenting, emphasizing the importance of cohesion between parents and a disciplined, yet loving approach. Join us for a harmonious blend of insights and strategies for any parent conducting the intricate orchestra of work and family life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Yes, welcome to Dad Puzzles. Today we're very happy to have my good friend here, kirk. He's a dental business guru. Folks have seen him and they get some great advice about how to do well in their business, and I think I would like to invite you, sir, to share with us about yourself, my friend. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 0:29

Yeah, of course, Dr Suli. Thank you for having me on. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 0:33

I really appreciate it. Awesome, it's a pleasure to have you sir.

Speaker 2: 0:36

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I mean my wife and I. My wife is a dentist. So four and a half years ago when we bought a practice, she was like, will you help me? And so, as a loving husband, I was like, sure, I've had businesses before, I knew a little bit about business in general, but nothing, let's do this, let's figure it out together and we created a really cool business where we only work three days a week and have a seven-figure practice, which is more than what the average dentist does on four to five days a week. So now I try to help doctors create that lifestyle practice where they have the balance of having a good income and a good practice, that they can generate income and have a great team.

Speaker 3: 1:31

Welcome to Dad Puzzles Everything Dad. If you're questioning yourself about dad functions, duties and life in general, you've come to the right place. Parenthood can be tough. Learning to juggle caring for your baby with your career and also keeping things fresh with your partner can be a struggle, but we're here to make things easier with helpful tips for making the most of your situation. Being a dad may seem like a puzzle, but it's one you can definitely solve. Now here's your host, dr Suleiman Ejani.

Speaker 2: 2:10

But also have the time to spend with their family. Because it doesn't matter if you have this amazing business, you're making a ton of money if you don't have the people who support you and love you at the end of it. So that's what I do I go in and I streamline their business to create whatever lifestyle they want, because some people want to work three days a week, some people want to work five days a week, but how can they leave when they want to leave? Right? So I do that for them.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Yeah, oh, that's amazing, that's amazing. So let's, maybe let's go back. So how you know, before all that start, you know, like did you start that when you have kids already or no kids? You know what happened, my friend.

Speaker 2: 2:51

Yeah, so early on. So my background's in music. So I was a music producer for a long time. I was in bands and toured and did different things, okay. And when my wife got out of dental school she was like, look, if we're going to have kids, then you can't be on the road anymore. So I told my band, hey, I'm not going to be touring anymore, I'm better managing you guys, and kind of go from there, okay. And then we ended up having our first child 10 days before my wife graduated dental school.

Speaker 2: 3:20

Okay, and then she graduated, congratulations.

Speaker 1: 3:23

Yes.

Speaker 2: 3:24

Yeah, it was awesome and that was almost seven years ago, okay, so now we have four kids and, um, four and a half years ago we had two when we started the practice. Okay, um, so, learning how to run a business, be able to watch the kids, um, six months after we bought the practice, covid happened. So we shut down for two months and having to deal with the stress of that Plus also try to figure out what are we going to do with our kids during this craziness. We balanced that, but it was a blessing during that time because we got to figure out.

Speaker 2: 4:02

Okay, we really like spending time with our kids at home. So, you know, we have this business, we have our kids. How can we balance this? And you know, as business owners, we you really know a lot of the times what you need to do, but you don't make the time to do it and to create the systems to figure it out. So during those two months, we really sat down hard to figure out what do we want and how are we going to do it? Okay, which is how we ended up doing what we do now, where we work three days a week and, you know, are able to spend time with our kids.

Speaker 1: 4:36

Okay. So this is very nice and you know right now, now you know really your goals are aligned with our goals, which is to empower dads to, you know, and parents in general, mom and dad to to have uh, more time, you know, not away from you know, from the family, just, you know, being there for them and you know like, you know like, whether it's schooling or you know like after school, with, uh, you know like, with their homework, etc. Just to bond, you know, have that time with the family. That's really beautiful. But so in that short time, you know, let's say, you know you do pick up a practice, and let's say you know, can you run a? You know just a little summary how that goes, what involves, because you got to cut down some of the you know a lot of things to be able to manage that right.

Speaker 2: 5:23

Yeah, yeah. So I had to pull back from music and you know our hours are set to where we can drop the kids off for school and we can pick them up afterward. But yeah, I mean it creates sacrifice, right? So something that, and a lot of people think that you have to sacrifice family time to do that. But I don't subscribe to that. I take the Kobe Bryant mentality of I wait until everybody goes to sleep and then I get my work done.

Speaker 2: 5:53

Oh, there you go so you know, I will never take a client meeting or be at the office between the hours of 5 pm and 8.30 pm because that's our family time. That's when we eat dinner. That's when we have Bible study. That's when we eat dinner. That's when we have Bible study. That's when we do different things homework with the kids Right and as soon as they get down, then I get to work, that's right.

Speaker 2: 6:12

And you know I may work until one or two in the morning, but you know I am not wasting my family time to sacrifice the time that I have with them while they're in the house.

Speaker 1: 6:24

That is amazing and, and you know, this is beautiful. You should keep up with that. I think I heard, you know, speaking about the same gentleman you know. Rest in peace. He was talking about how he's he goes to the gym in the morning at 2 am with his, with his daughter.

Speaker 2: 6:36

you know, yeah, you know, you know, like you, you know he was involving his kids through his career as well, so that they can learn to appreciate the work ethic and everything else. Right, right, yeah, and it's so important. Right, you have to lead your kids. You can't just hide in the shadows when they don't see. Sometimes you do, but for the most part they need to see the sacrifice that you're making.

Speaker 2: 7:03

And that means, you know, getting up at four in the morning and then waking them up instead of them waking you up. I think that's super powerful right, absolutely Same thing with you. Know they, my kids know that when I put them down for bed then I go to my office and I start working. They know that Right, you know, and they see that work ethic and they see, you know the sacrifice it takes to create the lifestyle that we have.

Speaker 1: 7:30

That's awesome, and let's say, what are the core values that you do have with your family so far as the guiding principles in your family, in your parenting structure with your wife?

Speaker 2: 7:41

Sure so. So I do something pretty interesting where you know I want them, cause the world is a is a uncomfortable place and it tends to be cruel and it tends to throw curve balls at you all the time. And so you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, yes, otherwise you will really break down and have a hard time in life. So what I do is every single shower that they take. At the end of it there's 30 seconds where we turn it on to cold, completely cold, oh man.

Speaker 1: 8:20

How old are they at first? Yeah, they're six.

Speaker 2: 8:23

Six and five are my two oldest.

Speaker 2: 8:26

Okay, and then I have a two-year-old and a newborn, but they're boys. Congratulations. So a six and five-year-old boy, yeah, so six, five and two are boys and the newborn is a girl. We finally had our girl. There you go. Congrats. Yeah, thanks, but still the six and five year old. We turn on the cold, completely cold, and I let you can tell as soon as it starts hitting and I'm like, okay, count Right To 30. And they start counting, and they start counting faster. I'm like no, slow down, slow down, 30 seconds.

Speaker 2: 8:58

And at first. You know they hated it. They cried. They were like why are we doing this? It's terrible. They hated it, they cried. They were like why are we doing this? This is terrible. But now when my wife or I come in, I'm like hey, you need to get out of the shower. They're like no, I haven't done the cold yet, oh man. They ask you for it.

Speaker 2: 9:16

Yes, they ask for it because they come to expect it and they increase their threshold of comfortable Right. So now they come to expect it and it's a small thing. But what I'm doing is I'm getting them comfortable with being uncomfortable and if you ask them, they'll tell you that I'm like why? And I asked my son, my oldest, last night, like why do we, in front of his friends, why do we take cold showers? And he was like to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. They know that, yes, sir. So that's a huge core value that I try to instill, because it's not a comfortable life. You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and it is comfortable Right, right, absolutely. Another one that we do is making sure that they understand that they are not rich. So mommy and daddy have some money, but, regardless, money is relative, whether you're rich or poor or wealthy or not, poor is a mindset Broke is what you are.

Speaker 2: 10:24

So we try to instill these financial things Like, even though my wife's a dentist and we have an office and we make a good living we try to instill in them that they have to work hard. So you know, every time they help us around the house like they help me with the landscaping in the front, getting the mulch out, trimming the bushes I give them $3. Mulch out, trimming the bushes I give them $3. And what I do with that is I make them, give one to.

Speaker 2: 10:51

God, they have to save one and they have one for spending and they have this little jar that has three different spots Amazing. And so you know they worked really hard and they both wanted to go in and go to Target and they wanted to get a Beyblade set. And they're like I don't have enough. Like okay, well, how much do you have? One of them was like I have $30. Like okay, you don't have enough, it's $60. And he was like okay, hey. And he went to his brother. He's like hey, if we go in together, we can get this because we both have $30.

Speaker 2: 11:26

And they both agreed and they both went in and we went to Target and I had them give the cashier the check or the cash Right, and they play with that Beyblade set more than anything else, because now they understand the value of hard work Right, that they have to work for something, for something in order to spend it, and coming together to get that they value it more, not just me buying it for them. They break those things and they throw them away because it's not something that they had to work for. So that's another huge core value that we really promote.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. Do you have any specific challenges that you have encountered with your wife raising them, that you are able to fix it afterwards successfully?

Speaker 2: 12:16

Sure. So I think one thing as fathers we tend to have, uh, have a well, at least me and a lot of fathers, but not everyone um has a hard time with patients, um, especially when you come home from work you're tired yeah you're mentally spent right and you get home and now they're just amped up and you're like, oh, how am I gonna just really squeeze out the extra five percent of energy that I have left right to do this?

Speaker 2: 12:52

and early on you know you don't do well with that. You have to learn and grow and you know you lose your temper more and my, my trigger is the screaming like when they're just screaming and running around and I'm just like, ah-ha, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 2: 13:11

But I've had to learn and really focus and be intentional on their kids. This is a short period of time. My wife will be like hey, listen to them, make sure that you're lowering your volume. I don't yell, but still lowering my volume, being more intentional with my tone. And early on obviously I did not do that well, now, when I do need to talk with my kids, if they are screaming or whatnot, I get on their level, I get eye to eye and I almost whisper, right. So I don't necessarily raise my voice, but I whisper hey can you hear me?

Speaker 2: 13:56

Yes, okay, can I tell you a secret? Yes, hey, it's really loud right now. Do you mind just getting a little bit softer? And most of the time they're like, yeah, you know, and then they go about screaming again, but still, at least at that point point, I have not lost my cool, right, right. And once again, what you focus on grows. So if I focus on that I'm intentional about that I'm able to level up in a sense to be a better father for my kids. I mean another thing that that I really try to do, that a lot of fathers have a hard time with, is saying you're sorry.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Absolutely yes, yes.

Speaker 2: 14:41

So the other day, you know, I got on to my oldest and I wasn't the kindest the way I went about it and whatnot. And you know he has some things he needs to work on, I have some things I need to work on, and so when that happens. I go to him one-to-one Once again, I get on his level and I just apologize. I'm like look, I am sorry. I'm sorry for how I acted and I appreciate you for telling me how I'm acting because, they're a mirror, right.

Speaker 2: 15:17

They're sponge they, they soak everything in, and so they know what's going on. Right and they were. They reflect what you do, right? So typically, if your kids are acting out, they're either lacking attention or they're mimicking what they've already seen in you. So it's really a mirror, absolutely, but to be able to apologize to your kids.

Speaker 2: 15:39

I feel like is man, it's so powerful to allow them to see that you're trying not just hold your pride and like I have nothing that I do, that's wrong, it's my way. Or the high way, like, look, man, you can grow, you can get better, you can approach things better and more kindly. And that leadership, that servant leadership of like look, I'm going to do better and this is how you can do better, let's do better together, absolutely Like, if you do this, I can do this. And, man, it's been a game changer in how we approach things.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Absolutely. I definitely can attest to that because our daughters you know, actually all of our kids they're very vocal, they correct us so well, like if we do something wrong, of course, based on us correcting them. So I think, like you said, being a mirror, and sometimes the bad things that they pick up from school, we case them, you know, because not necessarily from us, they also learn from you know, like other kids and you know whatever. So I'm happy about this. You know this is a good approach and I know some people might think like, oh, this is a weakness or something based on their you know, like cultural stuff. You know, no, no, there is a culture.

Speaker 1: 16:57

People will think like this back in the days oh yeah, like me growing up, we always see dad is always right, but thankfully he was. You know he was not available as much and when he was available he was not as silly or do something. You know he was really gentlemanly, you know. So there was nothing bad to that. But if you do have a bad example and this culture is there of where they think that is always right, I think we have a disaster. You know, like, down the road you know?

Speaker 2: 17:28

Yeah, because unfortunately you know, if your kids do see you as perfect, when their hero does fall and make a big mistake later on, when they can understand what's going on, then, yeah, it's incredibly difficult for them to wrap their mind around it. And it's a detriment to them as well, but my kids know I'm not perfect and I make sure that they understand that everyone is a work in progress, absolutely, and really approaching that with empathy and looking in their shoes.

Speaker 1: 18:03

That's amazing. That's amazing, my friend. So what are some of the favorite activities you do with your kids?

Speaker 2: 18:10

I love mountain biking.

Speaker 3: 18:11

Okay.

Speaker 2: 18:11

So, even this last week it's starting to get warmer, right. So one kid got on an electric dirt bike that we got him for Christmas, okay. So, uh, even this last week it's starting to get warmer. So, uh, one kid got on an electric dirt bike that we got on for Christmas, and then the other one was on a mountain bike and we just hit the trails.

Speaker 2: 18:23

Um and, uh, you know, it's something that that, like I said, I love doing, but I love that they're interested in it too, because I want to do it Right.

Speaker 3: 18:33

Right and it's active.

Speaker 2: 18:35

It's not something where we're just playing video games, like, I play video games too, but I try to get them active as much as possible. And so we were on the trails, um, and doing dangerous things safely, um, so you know, they were going down off ramps and doing different things very, very carefully. Um, one fell and that was okay, like he was like okay, yeah, you know, I'm okay, I can do it again, let's try it again. Going down big hills and, you know, really getting up speed, but, man, you know, taking them back where I do a lot of my riding, they got to see that and they felt like, man, I'm on a big man trail, I get to do what daddy does, right, right.

Speaker 3: 19:19

Okay.

Speaker 2: 19:20

You know, making sure that we do outdoor activities is something we do all the time on the weekends?

Speaker 1: 19:27

Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing wife. You know personal and professional goals. How do you, let's say, you get interrupted? You know you're spending time with family and then you have a call from work. How do you normally handle those distractions, because they will be coming through. You know if you're working three days a week.

Speaker 2: 19:49

Yeah, yeah, I mean, for the most part you set boundaries, right. Right. So you know, very rarely does our team ever call us outside of work. Okay, because there's really no need. Okay, you, you set that up to where, like, okay, look, you know, but being a dentist, like patients do call on the weekend, sometimes for an emergency, but you don't have to answer they can leave a voicemail and then, when you are available, you can call them back in a timely manner and address the issue that's at hand, right?

Speaker 2: 20:23

you know, um it's. I mean, it's just like if your mom calls you you know as as an adult. Right right, you don't have to answer. If you're in the middle of dinner, they can wait. If it's an emergency, they'll call you right back they'll call. They'll just keep calling you like okay, this is an emergency, I need to I need to take this, but at the end of the day you have to set parameters.

Speaker 2: 20:44

It's like we have a no phone policy while we're at the dinner table and we ate dinner together at the dinner table every night. We don't sit in front of the tv and do things like we sit at the dinner table. We have a no phone policy, we have it away, so that way we can focus and we're not distracted. That's amazing. You have to do that Right, because your kids want you. They don't want you on your phone.

Speaker 1: 21:09

Right, Absolutely. And also like to add to that we will have the same thing. And also you know how sometimes they will eat and they're running around and stuff like that, Like anytime they eat they know they have to be sitting at the table. Those are silly, but I think it prepares them to become more disciplined down the road, Correct?

Speaker 2: 21:26

Yeah, definitely, definitely. You have to set the stability and parameters of their lives.

Speaker 2: 21:32

You're the leader of the family, so when you allow them to, do something that is contrary to really like what is going to reciprocate later on, then they're going to create bad habits. And it's just like leading a team, so like we have to lead our team at the office, you know, but our team will do what we allow, right, okay? So if we allow gossip, then they'll gossip. If we allow negativity, then they'll be negative. Sometimes, if we allow bad behavior, then they will take advantage of that and have bad behavior. But same thing with our kids. We have to lead our kids and we have to create parameters and only allow what we allow. Okay. So if we allow them to whine to get their way, then they're going to whine every time it's contrary to what they believe. But you know, you don't just say well, because I said so right.

Speaker 2: 22:32

When they're asking why, they want to know why. And if you give them a good reason why, like sure there are some times or like you have to say, just do it, but then explain why.

Speaker 2: 22:46

Because they don't know they don't have the knowledge that you do right, and they're learning those things. So, anytime that I you know, and I get in that habit of like, well, you need to do it because I said so, but but really they just want to know why they're curious. They don't understand Right, why are you telling me to do this and why is it different than what I believe? Well, it's because it's like it's what's best for you and I ask my, my, my kids that right, be curious, ask questions. Right, be curious, ask questions, because the person controlling the conversation is asking questions. Ask questions of your kids. Don't just tell them a blanket statement and expect them to trust it and believe it.

Speaker 2: 23:27

But I ask them look, do I do what's best for you? Do I make decisions as to what's best for you? Or I ask the question when I tell you to do something, will it hurt you? Is that what I tell you to do? Are the things that I ask you to do something that will hurt you? No, okay, do you trust that I'm going to make the right decision for you? Yeah, okay. So if you do this that I'm asking you to do, you?

Speaker 3: 23:57

know, is it something?

Speaker 2: 23:58

that's probably what's best for you. Yeah, okay, and now, obviously different ages are different, but at my kid's age right now, at six and five, like that's something that I've had to learn and kind of direct their path and give them a reason why it's like I'm doing it to make sure that you are a better person. I'm doing this because and I'm asking you to do this because it's something that you need to learn and it's something I've already learned and I had to do the exact same thing when I was your age man, this is amazing.

Speaker 1: 24:33

And you know, uh, you know, with me actually, you know, my oldest is really old, he's not there, he's, you know, like in the 20s, now 21. And then, you know, I do have a five and a four girl and a boy and then a girl. So five and four, they will always, you know, always ask you questions, which is beautiful, and they will catch you when you're missing out something. And, like you said, you know, the apology is always there and they appreciate that, they always appreciate it. And they compete actually to become your best friend. They compete to show who understands something better. You know, I love that competition, the understanding. You know, it's something that is almost foreign. You know, you don't see as many families doing these things anymore, you know. So, you know, I commend you. You know, like, I'm very proud of what you're doing. My friend, keep that going.

Speaker 1: 25:23

And how is the communication? You know, I noticed from talking to you, there's a good communication between you and the wife. So that's always, to me, I think, is a basis, because we, you know, we correct each other behind the scenes, you know, so that we can be better. You know, and you know, like, I think this is something that people need. You know, as dads they need to have this and not being offended when they're being told the truth, because sometimes it can be really hurtful. You know it can be like, let's say, I think today you're really. You know like you're very decent today. You know, or you're not spending. You know like you're not showing more. You know love to one child versus the other. Those kind of talks they can hurt you, but don't take it personal right. You know like the goal is to have the family correct.

Speaker 2: 26:11

Yeah, yeah, it is Right, and this is something that me and my wife have worked really hard on, and we have to do it with the team at work too. Right so, being willing to have difficult conversations and being receptive of difficult conversations, like you were saying. Right so, the ability to be able to like. The other night, my wife said I don't want you to get defensive, that was how she started the conversation. Well, naturally you're going to get defensive right.

Speaker 2: 26:48

And she was like look, this is what I'm seeing, this is the pattern, you know. I just want you to be aware of that. This is the pattern, you know. I just want you to be aware of that. And, of course, you know I was upset but at the end of it after, you know, just cooling down a little bit, you know, I thought about it, like she was like we're saying and, yeah, I'm like I appreciate you being willing to tell me that I love you and you know I will take that and I will think about it and I just want you to know like I appreciate you for doing that. That's amazing.

Speaker 2: 27:23

So if you yeah, I mean if you hang on too much to your ego and to pride, man, there's a reason why pride comes before the fall, Right, and it's not only with your kids, it's also with your spouse, Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 27:41

But I attest the success to our 11 years of marriage, to the ability to have good, difficult conversations Right and to be approachable with each other. Right, and to be approachable with each other, because that's one thing that a lot of kids have a hard time with is they don't. You know, we, we talk about this right and and I don't believe it's right for your kids necessarily to correct you, Right, but I do believe that there is a place and a setting for them to at least tell you right, or at least have your wife tell you that, hey, I'm seeing this and this is a dangerous road we're going down, you know. And for the kids to be like hey, you know, I don't like how you do this, you know, just ask your kids like hey, is there something that that I'm, that I do, that scares you? Or is there something that I do like be you Mm-hmm, or is there something that I do Like be open to constructive criticism? Absolutely, you know, if my kids are like, you know, it's like why are you being so mean?

Speaker 2: 29:03

I'm like, buddy, I'm not being mean, it's just not what you're enjoying right now. Right, it's like I get it Like there's a difference between being mean and being your father in disciplining, Right, it's like I'm not beating you to a pulp right now. I gave you a spanking because you were wrong and you did something you knew was wrong and I told you I always give them one warning Like, look, if you do that again, you're going to get a spanking.

Speaker 1: 29:33

You'll be in time. They know that you're being time out. I get a spanking. You're being time out.

Speaker 2: 29:35

They know that You're being time out, right, yeah, no, no, I don't I mean a spanking, the actual spanking. Okay, yes, no, I do not mean time out Okay. Yeah, so I'm being disciplined, that's right. And when I go through this, like they understand from a very early age, I mean what I say and I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1: 29:57

You don't play with Baba or Mama. No, they tell you something and it's making sense.

Speaker 2: 30:02

You have to reason yeah, and it was like look, if you do it again, I'm going to give you a spanking, and if they do it again, you have to keep to your word, right? You can't start counting down.

Speaker 2: 30:16

Five, oh, five, four, four and a half three like nothing is a game you can't just do right, they will wait until the last possible second to either change or manipulate you, because they don't believe and trust that you're actually going to do that. Right, right, you have to stay true to your word. And my kids? No, I'm going to give them a warning and if they do it again, I'm going to do something Right.

Speaker 1: 30:42

You know, because I think you know here we have the problem, not the problem. The thing is, for instance I totally agree with you Sometimes they know the consequence If they don't sleep, they're going to wake up Like they don't sleep early, they're going to wake up with a bad mood because they did not sleep enough. Then they can be crying for no reasons because their mood is all messed up. So I would be like one of them. You see you're like this because he did not sleep enough. You know, like I asked you to do it. So that's why I've been like I'm asking you to stop crying. You know you have no reason to cry or do this or that. You know like X, y, z, you know four. You know yeah. So so sometimes you know when you're, you know like, dealing with them in those moments, even if you're not, you know, doing anything severe, they can act as if they're in a bad situation, you know. So I totally understand how that can, how, how that can be. But also you have them when they go to school. They they're told if your parents touch you, you, you know that kind of stuff. You have some schooling. That's why I believe it's better to you know to have, if you're able to afford, send your kids to like private schools. You know schools that they teach them more than the general staff, because these general staff actually I think they're doing a poor job and I don't want to go deeper into it.

Speaker 1: 32:07

You know this is another discussion. But if you can afford to really take your kids to where they can get a better education and less of this interference with the parenting because this is as long as somebody is not doing something horrible to their child I think we have a. You know we should. You know like in my you know I can remember growing up. You know like we don't. Actually. You know like in my you know like I remember growing up. You know like we don't touch. You know like kids' faces. You know, but your butt is going to get something to it. You know what I mean. Like back in the day.

Speaker 1: 32:34

I mean, you know, but you know, of course, that you have to be as a parent. You know, of course, you, with your anger intact, not, you know, not to be, yeah, no don't discipline out of anger.

Speaker 2: 32:49

No, don't discipline out of anger. No, no, no, exactly. You discipline out of love, exactly, and it's, you know, like trying to wait to calm down.

Speaker 1: 32:55

Right.

Speaker 2: 32:55

Not in the moment when you are heated, right, but try to calm down. And I ask my kids, I'm like, look, and this is one way that I'm able to calm down instead of just grab and just go.

Speaker 1: 33:07

Right, because that's really bad, my friend, because you can put yourself in a bad situation where I can see where those parents that are doing that. In that situation, it's okay for the kid to call someone, because sometimes we are bigger than them, and the ratio of no, no, it's not the same Right, but in sitting down with them right and asking them the simple question do you understand why you're this is happening, right?

Speaker 2: 33:36

do you understand? So, like that way you're, you're also very clear on why you're giving them the spanking right. Right, so, and and for discipline, it's it's and and so that way they understand it's not just like oh, and a lot of times my kids will be like I don't know why, like okay, well, here's the reason why I told you that if you did this again, I would spank you.

Speaker 1: 33:59

And you know, I think this is good because we go to where this timeout works Like normally. You will take them, you know. Let's say you stay in this particular place, you're not moving for the next five minutes or whatever, so they're crying. You do not tell them why at that moment, let them cry out or whatever, but stay on that time out. When they're done they all come. Then we discuss, as you mentioned, and if they do not understand why, then I have a right to say okay, so I'm sorry, I gave you time out. I thought you understand this. So if you did not understand, then I apologize for this. But in the future, x, Y, z. So now we're on the same page, going forward. You know, and Mikey's like you know, believe me, they're afraid of time out more than anything else. You know we used to threaten them with there's no shopping, or there's no this, or there's no that, this stuff. Nowadays, no, no, no. Time out is the best.

Speaker 2: 34:55

Yeah, yeah. And whatever way you decide to discipline your kids like, obviously everybody has a different opinion on whether spanking is right or not, right, absolutely, but still like, you have to keep to your word. Right, still like, you have to keep to your word what I feel like that's, that's the number one thing is most parents will threaten but they don't keep to their word. I mean, you know and, and it's not about threatening, it's about a consequence, it's about your child understanding that there's a consequence to the decisions that you're making, right. Right, you're not being bad, you're making a bad decision.

Speaker 2: 35:31

My kids are good kids, but they make bad decisions. And I tell them that you know, anytime that I discipline them, I hug them, I say I love you, I don't like doing this, but I hug them, I love them and I'm doing this because I love them, right. And then I explained to them like, hey, was that a good decision? And they know, they know it wasn't a good decision. So I get them to reflect, like, okay, that was not a good decision. And I ask them this simple question after every single time, because I need them to understand and to reflect. After every single time, because I need them to understand and to reflect.

Speaker 1: 36:15

But I asked them what can you do better or what can you do different next time, so that way they can understand like, okay, yes, I need to do something different and go from there, my friend we know we could go on and on and on about so many topics about parenthood and I really appreciate you taking the time to do this with us, but can you maybe share anything about your business, and also how can folks reach you, and also if there's any other lesson that you need to share with are in the dental business. Yes, my friend.

Speaker 2: 36:51

Yeah, I mean, you know, I would just say you don't have to work more to make more.

Speaker 2: 36:56

And you know you need to figure out your priorities and if your family is your priority which I'm a little biased, but it should, your family should be your priority then you can figure out a way to work less and still make more, because we did. I mean, you just have to be creative. You have to think outside the box and develop as a leader Right and create something that allows you to do the things you want to do. You don't have to work a job if you don't want to. No-transcript. You said like we could. We could do this all day.

Speaker 1: 37:31

I could talk about my kids, my family and the things we do, man, we can talk, for instance, you know how, like okay, so now, for instance, you can talk about how you know, how's your relationship with your wife, for instance, because sometimes, yeah, you know, a person that is doing those five, seven days or whatever, is that sure? Is that going to have the same love life as a person that is working only for three days out of the week? You know?

Speaker 2: 37:53

Yeah, yeah. And you know, when my wife was on maternity leave yeah, I mean like I was going to the office, she was at home and we weren't writing together and talking anymore. So the only time we could talk was at night, when we're both exhausted, about to lay down for bed, and it's just not the same. So the ability to be able to create quality time with your family it doesn't have to be all the time, but quality time, right, um, is super important and and I'll I'll leave you with this.

Speaker 2: 38:23

So, especially with kids, you have to make sure that you and your spouse back each other up, no matter what. You have to do that. So if, if I say something, my wife will back me up, so that way the kids don't manipulate you and go to the other spouse Um, you, you can't do that, okay, if, if you know, and, and my wife will ask like, did you ask your dad? And they'll be like, yeah, or even if it's no, she will check with me before she says anything, and the same with me. You know, if she says something, then you know I'll back her up and we trust each other to make those decisions. So if you don't trust your spouse, you know in what they say and how they go about things, unless it's just blatantly wrong.

Speaker 1: 39:11

We back each other up and we make sure that it's the same across the board, even if we may not agree completely, to make sure that our kids know that we are going to be on the same page, period amazing, this is amazing, and for sure dad should take this and farm, you know like, you know like families, because I have seen this is the source, one of the biggest source of broken marriages, because there's no, you know, is that on the same page, my friend and um, even if you despise I don't know this you cannot despise your spouse.

Speaker 1: 39:47

You know, like, I guess, for for people to reach to that level, they need a remedy, for sure they need to speak to somebody. So I agree with you, they need to be on the same page and afterwards they can always talk in the back and fix it up and then they can say oh yeah, by the way, we're looking at, you know, like a studies show, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you know, you can always, but we're on the same page. You know, that's amazing, my friend. So how can folks you know like reach you, my friend?

Speaker 2: 40:17

Yeah, so I'm always on Instagram. If you go to Instagram at Kirk Teachout, I'm sure you'll have them in the show notes. Yes, sir, that's the easiest way to get a hold of me. Okay, just to get on there, follow me and message me. I message every single person that follows me, so that would be the easiest way.

Speaker 1: 40:34

Fantastic. Thanks so much for really doing this. So first go ahead and log in on dadpuzzlescom and follow us on any social media of your choice, from Instagram, youtube, et cetera. Thanks again, thank you.

Speaker 2: 40:47

Yeah, thanks, dr Suli, thanks YouTube et cetera. Thanks again, thank you.

Speaker 3: 40:50

Yeah, thanks, dr Suli. Thanks for listening to Dad Puzzles. We hope you learned something from today's podcast. Please leave us a review and give us a thumbs up, and don't forget to subscribe to our mailing list and YouTube channel Plus, follow and like our Instagram and Facebook pages or any social media of your choice. You can also visit dadpuzzlescom for more resources that will help ease you into your parenthood journey. Thanks again for listening to Dad Puzzles.