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Unlocking Teen Potential: Insights from Coach Kevin's Transformative Parenting Journey
Unlock the secrets to effective teen and tween parenting with our special guest, Coach Kevin Baker, whose unique journey through the music and real estate industries led him to become a certified professional teen life coach. Kevin shares his deeply personal story, from overcoming the challenges of his parents' divorce to the life-changing decision to quit alcohol, bringing newfound clarity and control into his life. His commitment to supporting teens and tweens, inspired by his own experiences as a father of three, will offer you invaluable insights into addressing inner narratives and making transformative lifestyle changes.
Explore how you can guide your children's futures by genuinely respecting their passions and interests. We'll discuss the pitfalls of parenting based on our own experiences and the importance of empathy and understanding in nurturing your child's unique talents. Whether your child's dream lies in the arts, technology, or any non-traditional career path, Kevin provides strategies to help you create a supportive environment that fosters their happiness and success, even if it means balancing multiple pursuits.
Dive into practical strategies for navigating the ups and downs of raising teens and tweens, from the significance of self-care to managing technology addiction. Learn how exercise, diet, and sleep can enhance your ability to support your children, and discover breathing techniques to manage emotional responses. We'll also cover setting clear boundaries and integrating coaching into school programs. Finally, stay connected with us as we offer additional resources and support to help you thrive on your parenthood journey. Join us and transform the way you parent today.
Learn more about Coach Kevin https://podfol.io/profile/kevin-baker
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Unlock the secrets to effective teen and tween parenting with our special guest, Coach Kevin Baker, whose unique journey through the music and real estate industries led him to become a certified professional teen life coach. Kevin shares his deeply personal story, from overcoming the challenges of his parents' divorce to the life-changing decision to quit alcohol, bringing newfound clarity and control into his life. His commitment to supporting teens and tweens, inspired by his own experiences as a father of three, will offer you invaluable insights into addressing inner narratives and making transformative lifestyle changes.
Explore how you can guide your children's futures by genuinely respecting their passions and interests. We'll discuss the pitfalls of parenting based on our own experiences and the importance of empathy and understanding in nurturing your child's unique talents. Whether your child's dream lies in the arts, technology, or any non-traditional career path, Kevin provides strategies to help you create a supportive environment that fosters their happiness and success, even if it means balancing multiple pursuits.
Dive into practical strategies for navigating the ups and downs of raising teens and tweens, from the significance of self-care to managing technology addiction. Learn how exercise, diet, and sleep can enhance your ability to support your children, and discover breathing techniques to manage emotional responses. We'll also cover setting clear boundaries and integrating coaching into school programs. Finally, stay connected with us as we offer additional resources and support to help you thrive on your parenthood journey. Join us and transform the way you parent today.
Learn more about Coach Kevin https://podfol.io/profile/kevin-baker
Check out our amazon store : https://bit.ly/3ycV58C
👉Instagram: / dadpuzzles
👉Facebook : / dadpuzzles
👉🌍 See more information👇👇
https://dadpuzzles.com/
Welcome to Dad Puzzles Everything Dad. If you're questioning yourself about dad functions, duties and life in general, you've come to the right place. Parenthood can be tough. Learning to juggle caring for your baby with your career and also keeping things fresh with your partner can be a struggle, but we're here to make things easier with helpful tips for making the most of your situation. Being a dad may seem like a puzzle, but it's one you can definitely solve. Now here's your host, dr Suleiman Ijani.
Speaker 2:Hello, welcome to Dad Puzzles. Today we have a special guest, coach Kevin, and you know he's very big on helping teens and tweens and I want us to really benefit today from learning, you know, by learning from him about what led him to doing this, and also we can ask him some questions on how we can do better with our teens and tweens. So welcome, my friend.
Speaker 3:Thanks so much for having me, Doc. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Yes sir, yes sir. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself, your background?
Speaker 3:Sure. So I'm 44 years old. I just had a birthday not too long ago. It's a big number for me. It's a big number for me. It's a big number for me and it's a good one. I'm super excited about this year Tons of positive things happening.
Speaker 3:But for me, I grew up in a standard family in New York, a family of five mom, dad, sister, brother. My parents ended up getting divorced when I was about eight years old and that sort of set my life on. You know, at that it happened. I didn't know at that time I was going to have a big impact on me. But long story short, I grew up in New York, went to school in Boston and sort of had a career in the music business, developed a career in real estate, and about three years ago now I had a huge transformation in my life.
Speaker 3:About three years ago now had a huge transformation in my life that led me to seek out how I can have the greatest positive impact on as many people as possible while I'm here on this earth. And so I myself went through a coaching program, a career coaching program, went through my skills and my passions and my value add, and we hit the sweet spot of life coaching, and specifically for teens and tweens. Because I'm in the thick of it and I have a 14-year-old, a 12-year-old and a nine-year-old and this whole process of becoming a certified professional teen life coach has been just the most amazing thing that I've ever done in my life. I'm so happy that I was able to get over some of the things that were keeping me from making that switch. I had to change my mind. I had to rewire some beliefs and some programming that I had in my mind in order to get here, and it's been the most fulfilling, meaningful thing that I've done so far and I'm so happy that I did and I'm happy to be here talking with you.
Speaker 2:Amazing. This is good. So somebody might ask what was the switch? Because a lot of times the big switch for a lot of folks it can be maybe some career changes or getting sick Pandemic. Of course that's been the ultimate switch for a lot of folks.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah. Well, the pandemic certainly contributed to my switch. You know my switch. The big thing, the number one was, you know I had to quit using alcohol and that was. You know I was done.
Speaker 3:I enjoyed it for a long time, probably too much. You know I'm a very social person, very friendly. You know it was just a part of life. You know you go out, you socialize, you hang out with friends, couples, and it's part of your life. Until you know it's, and you know it helps in certain social situations. You know getting control of anxiety and things going out. But then you know it helps in certain social situations getting control of anxiety and things going out. But then it starts to hurt after that and then you don't do it because it's a social thing. You do it because, especially through COVID, you're not being social anymore and then you're just drinking alcohol for no reason.
Speaker 3:So I had to stop all that and when I did, it was the best decision I ever made. It helped me gain control of my life, control of my thoughts, and really helped me gain some clarity on what's important in life, and that was the big thing. That was the big thing Because when I stopped all that, I could start to drown out the noise and I could start to hear my inner narrative and I could start to hear. You know what's going on in here. You know what are these thoughts that I'm having that are causing me to want to use, use this substance to to to hold those thoughts down, you know, to keep them down, to change the subject.
Speaker 3:You know, and so and so, that was the thing that started this amazing train rolling in the right direction and, and I highly recommend it, you know, if there's somebody out there that has toyed with the idea of you know what, what would happen if I, if I, didn't drink this weekend. You know what would happen if I took a month off, or two months, or take the summer off. See what happens.
Speaker 2:You know that's a good start. Do you like keep count of the number of times you know like the day so far? You know, you know how folks they have.
Speaker 3:I mean August 21, august 23, 2021, you know that was my, that was my day, so that's my birthday now, and so we celebrate, you celebrate. I have a big cake Delicious the one day a year I eat cake. It's good. So, yeah, I celebrate that. And I don't keep track every day, but I can do the math if you want. So, yeah, if they had the ability to work on their portfolio, their personal online branding portfolio, through the educational process in school, that might give them just enough motivation and give them just enough hope that this whole thing is going to work and it's all going to be successful, that they approach school and learning in a new light, with a better attitude.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is amazing. This is amazing to positively leverage the social media instead of using it for porn and bullying and all those bad stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is amazing. Let's use it as a tool, because Go ahead, my friend. Oh, no, sorry, Go ahead.
Speaker 2:I was wondering how, let's say, what are the resources that parents that you recommend that should look into to be able to raise their teens and tweens better.
Speaker 3:Well, the resources yeah, there's tons of books out there, right, you know there's tons of resources, tons of parent coaches, tons of people like me out there doing it. So you know, of course I'm going to put in the shameless plug. Go to LifeCoachKevincom yeah, lifecoachkevincom. Yeah, lifecoachkevincom. I'm also on Instagram, lifecoachkevin. But seriously, but learning, educating themselves.
Speaker 3:And so parents are funny because we know we don't have all the answers and a lot of us are learning as we're going, and also a lot of us. The only way we know how to be parents is from how our parents parented us, and the way they know how to be parents is by how their parents parented them. So now we're talking about back in the early 1900s and times have changed. So I think parents, in order to really help their kids, need to look at life through their child's eyes and imagine what it is their child is feeling and what it must feel like to be living in your child's shoes, and view it from their perspective.
Speaker 3:Because parents get so caught up in expectations and well, I want my child to grow up and be a doctor or a lawyer or a humanitarian or whatever. The expectation is based on your parents' beliefs, whatever the expectation is based on your parents' beliefs. But the child they already know. They have a vision. They have a vision and they have a path and, whether they know it or not, it's in there, it's in their subconscious. And, working with either a professional or parents, if you want to develop the skill set to be really really, really, really, really good listeners and try and determine it. What is it exactly that their student or your child is trying to tell you? That's probably the number one thing is being a good listener.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, that's amazing, that's amazing, that's amazing. So you know it's funny. You mention that because I think most of the folks can relate to this. When we grow up we want to do something, but then sometimes parents have a better idea to redirect you. I don't know how much of the redirections you recommend for parents to do, because some kids they grow up with a regret, like oh, I meant to do this, but my dad told me to do this. And I mean the parents can have a great idea because maybe we have lived the real life and we have seen what is working, what is not. But is it something that you recommend or this is something that you think coaches should be playing part? You know, should be playing part a little bit with the kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I think parents always want to impart their opinions on their kiddos in hopes of giving their kid a leg up, giving their kid some knowledge and some education that they wish they had when they were younger, and some education that they wish they had when they were younger. But I think really what the parent's job is is to listen to their child, to figure out what it is that they see Like, what is their vision, what is their passion, and then for the parent, to say, okay, well, if that is your path, you should probably explore this, that and the other thing Right, you know our job is to help our kids figure out their passions.
Speaker 3:Right, because once they're passionate about something, sky's the limit. Right, you know, if they're passionate about it, they're going to be the best at it. That's just how it is. Right, you know you love something? Well then that's it. Go love it, go do it. Do it the best you can, right, sir. But if you're fighting to do something that you don't like, well, that's not fun, that's not any way to live life Right.
Speaker 3:So you want to give your kid the best life possible, help them figure out what they love to do, help them figure out their passions and put your resources into sending them to a camp for those passions or to a school for those passions or a home projects or whatever it is that's going to help them figure out what they want to do.
Speaker 2:I know this is a big challenge. It's easy for us to say because I know, like for many cultures or families, they know the child is good at something and the child loves something, but they look at the reality. They force them to study something else, thinking that this will give them a better life. You know, this is the reality, unfortunately.
Speaker 3:So they want to study medicine and then go have $400,000 in student loans to pay off and they don't like medicine then they don't become good doctors.
Speaker 2:It's just all those things. Yeah, my friend, I know it's a big challenge. I really hope that parents hearing this can, if they still want to, push their kid to do something. I know, for instance I don't want to mention my friends, I have friends from a certain culture. They say they'll push their kids to do either engineer or medicine or or or it. You know this is a cultural thing, you know, yeah, and those are the three major things you know. So if you don't do that, you're, I don't know. You know.
Speaker 2:So people that are going into arts or music or whatever, they get looked upon like you're a loser or whatever. Yeah, and I think this is, you know, something that we need to. If you think that that is the best thing thing for you to do as a parent, you still should nurture whatever love they have. You know, if it's, uh, something you know, make it as a people, have double majors, three. You know what I mean. Like you, you know you can have it as a minor, whatever you know, but still have them do what they like so that they can have that love. You know that. You know Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the passion. You know. There's no reason you can't, you know, be interested in IT and art and music, and fashion and business and real estate and all that. Yes, who says that you, out of however many people there are in the world a billion people in the world have to be a doctor or have to be IT? We're all different.
Speaker 3:We all have different DNA and we all have a different path. We all have a different vision. I appreciate that families, and parents in particular, want to guide their kids to have the best life possible absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's like, for instance, now, if you look at ai and social media, you can think about oh yeah, wait a second, my, my kids, they should know ai. So you kind of trying to take them to all these, you know those, the, you know you want them to kind of know more about this, learn about this, take courses about it. You know nowadays they even offer, you know, programs in MIT and all this. You know, like these other big universities, so you can kind of push your kids into, maybe look into these things because you see, this is the future, that's the reality, you know. But if they still love something else, you can still have them, like you mentioned, now that you know they still can. You know, see other things, that that that we know as parents, that that that has been working. You know awesome, my friend. So, boss, do you have any examples maybe, like you can share from your coaching experience? You know from your coaching experience, um, that you show it. You know from you know this is before, this is after. What's going on?
Speaker 3:Yeah, sure, there are a few different ones, probably the one that sticks out the most in my mind is one from last.
Speaker 2:Of course it's not going to be details, I'm sorry to put you on the spot?
Speaker 3:No, no, I'll leave out the names.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be the exact details.
Speaker 3:Here's what happened. So mom called me. She said Coach Kevin, my son is highly depressed and he's been in therapy. He's been going to therapy for a year and a half and he won't get out of bed and he won't go to school and he's very unhappy. It's making me scared, it's making me sad. His dad and I have done everything, given him everything that we think can help him, and we just don't know what to do. We don't know what to do, and can you help us? And so I chatted with him. We had a brief conversation, we started to build some rapport. We actually became friends on the first call. Brief conversation, we started to build some rapport. We actually became friends on the first call, which is very important and that's why I'm really good at what I do is because I can build rapport with the kids, because I know what video games they're playing, I know what music they're listening to. I kind of know what they're thinking already. So we make fast friends.
Speaker 3:And then we figured out that while he was in bed in the morning, before he even opened up his eyes, he had some thoughts that he wasn't good enough and that he was never going to make it. And so we had to get to the bottom of it, like why are you having these thoughts, mm-hmm? And once we did, we worked on some exercises and some activities that helped to train his mind to get rid of those thoughts. Not get rid of them, but replace them Right With thoughts and beliefs that were empowering, thoughts that were going to help him be constructive and and reach his goals. So, instead of waking up and and and thinking to himself, I'm never going to make it, uh, now his thought at you know, he wakes up before he even opens his eyes is you know, I'm one of the most, I'm one of the luckiest people in the world, and when I, when I practice my techniques, I'm going to be the best. And another thought he had was he's never going to make it.
Speaker 3:And then we changed that thought to when I complete my work, I am going to make it. When I get this thing done, I am going to make it. All I have to do is do the thing that's in my way. The obstacle is the way. There's a book about it. You know, you have to do the hard thing, the thing in your life that you don't want to do right now, the thing that's really just weighing you down and holding you back. That's the thing you have to do. And once you do that, on the other side of that is when you grow and when you take the next step. So if you feel stuck, step. So if you feel stuck, think about the thing that you don't want to do and then just go do it.
Speaker 2:And then, on the other, side, you're going to get unstuck.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. So he was a junior in high school at the time and by the end of our six weeks together he was applying to colleges, and so he applied to some schools in California, some in Arizona and a couple state schools in the Midwest, where he's from, and now he's going to go into IT, nice, but also with a minor in fashion design.
Speaker 2:Including everything that he likes.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. I told him to figure out the algorithm where he could sell his, you know, his, his high-end fashion to these top designers, and, and, you know, do the marketing, and, and, and he's big on affiliate marketing too. So, you know, we're trying to build, you know, a path based on his vision, based on things that he wants to achieve in his lifetime. That's amazing, my brother. Once you have those goals, figuring out the steps to achieve them is easy.
Speaker 2:Amazing. So you see, that's the power of affirmations, and also the power of just making sure that we don't kill their dream. Have it. If you don't want it as a primary, make it as a secondary. You know, like you just did.
Speaker 3:Never kill a dream. Never kill a dream. Keep going, cause the dream's there for a reason, right, it's in there for a reason, so keep going, go after it, don't stop, don't ever stop. Amazing. Never give up, never give up.
Speaker 2:Man. So, boss, what's the piece of advice that you would like for every parent to have regarding kids, you know, the teens and tweens, I mean?
Speaker 3:it's a big one, it's a big one.
Speaker 1:It's a big one.
Speaker 3:Most parents might listen to this and say there's no way I can do that, but the piece of advice is take all those expectations you have about the future of your child and throw them out the window and let them be the person they were meant to be and guide them along the way. Don't tell them what to do. Ask them what they're going to do, and explore together. Let them make the choices, yeah explore together. Be their teammate. Be their teammate, be their cheerleader, be their confidant, be their coach Right.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. That's what I would say. That's amazing, yes, because it's very interesting, because we all, as parents, every time you think of them, oh yeah, she's very smart, oh, she's very argumentative, maybe she can do law or whatever. You think about things in the future, like maybe she can do something, but great. But, like you said, it's good, take them to school, see what they like in school, what's working, and adjust and readjust as you go until they reach their dreams. That's amazing, brother.
Speaker 3:Now, do you have any?
Speaker 2:hacks that you would like to share in terms of dealing with the ups and downs of teens and tween life.
Speaker 3:For a parent.
Speaker 2:Yes, Actually, I had a guest that he had asked me. You know, I would like to know how to deal with the teens and tweens. This is the truth and I'll definitely tag him on this talk.
Speaker 3:So this is the answer that, specifically, will help, the number one thing that parents can do to. Well, there's a bunch of things that I think the number one thing parents can do is practice self-care and take care of themselves so that their cup is overflowing. So that your cup is overflowing, so you can give as much as you can to your kids, but you can't give if your cup isn't full. You can't give if your cup's not full. If you have a hole draining out of your bucket, you're never going to fill it up. So you got to work on yourself first. In and out of your bucket, you can't, you're never going to fill it up, so you need to.
Speaker 3:You got to work on yourself first and you know exercise, diet and sleep, like those are the pillars, right? So you know I wear one of these things like I track it all. You know it's. You got to keep track of it.
Speaker 3:It's a job in order to keep yourself at peak performance, so you can help as many as many people as you can, as many kids as you have, uh, so that that would be number one is to take care of yourself, self-care, uh, and number two is to breathe uh, to breathe often, uh and and be very mindful about uh, your breath and use it. Use it instead of making a reaction to whatever it is your kids are doing to trigger an emotional response. Because when you can breathe instead of reacting emotionally and you give your mind time to process the emotional piece of it through the limbic system to get to the smart part where you're able to reason and make good decisions, if you can breathe through all that and then have a response instead of a reaction, I think that will help the conversation with your teen or tween go in a positive direction.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, Brother, coach, I would like to have one, you know, another just question, you know, random question about boundaries with kids. You know, especially their age, Boundaries is a huge thing. Don't enter my room, Don't do this. You know like it's almost you're putting the wall. You know like you want to be their friends and everything, but there's a wall because of the age and everything else and the styles. Oh, it's not cool, you know. So how do you?
Speaker 3:address that. My friend, your boundaries are important boundaries. Everybody's got to set boundaries for themselves. Uh, you know as as a, uh, you know as a kiddo. If you want to have your door shut and you don't want to be interrupted, if you want to be treated like you know, the teen or tween probably wants to be treated with respect and have the door knocked on, wait for a response like anybody else and then open the door. That's a boundary, that's a rule that that teen can set.
Speaker 3:Parents can set boundaries of grades at school and if grades fall between a certain level, here are the things that we have to do Then we have to go to a tutor, we have to do less screen time, we have to do more study. Setting boundaries is very important and having those laid out and discussed and ultimately and most importantly, agreed on, so that we don't have expectations but we have agreements. So we know it's almost like having a contract we know what everybody's jobs and responsibilities and roles are and we know that if we cross this line, this is what's going to happen. Every choice has a consequence and every consequence will have a result. So, yeah, laying out those boundaries and making sure they're clear is very important.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. So you know, have you looked into the? You know, I haven't looked into it yet, but you know the schools and the. You know schools and different programs. They normally have a nurse, they have the teacher, the advising team, whatever. Now, have you looked into, let's say, how they can integrate coaching with different schools and stuff?
Speaker 3:I haven't really dove into that yet. I haven't dove into that yet, right, I know that in public school settings there's probably a lot of qualifications and paperwork and resources and stuff you have to go through to get that done, right. But there's afterschool programs that I've been working through locally through a local parks and rec department, people that offer programs after school. That's where I see teens and tweens in person and remotely as a part of an afterschool program, but I haven't yet seen it integrated into public schools. Of course they have their counselors and they have their guidance counselors and their admin team there that helps guide kids. But unfortunately, I think that the public school system in particular, they have their boundaries too with the state, and their kiddos have to get certain test scores on these state tests, otherwise the money doesn't go necessarily where it should go. So, uh, you know they, they have a lot of responsibilities on that end too, and I think, uh, you know, I think the number one thing that I would like to see, uh, really, really, really pushed is to add, you know, coaching into the school programming, or at least have it be more readily recommended to kiddos instead of therapy, because in my opinion, therapy is great and it's a great tool, but a lot of people are in therapy that don't need therapy.
Speaker 3:A lot of people are in therapy that and they're focused on a problem. They know they're focused on the past. You know something that's happened before that's making them feel a certain way, you know. But what if I can make you feel great by talking about the future, right? What if I can make you feel great by focusing on your goals and your passions and things you like to do? And yeah, if you want to dig down deep and figure out why this other person made you feel that way, that's okay, but that's out of our control. You know, number one, it's in the past. Number two, it's another person. So, you know, let's work on ourselves and let's work on our thoughts and let's change our thoughts to hold us up, to lift us up and, you know, be a launching pad for our future and our path.
Speaker 2:Chief, you have answered this question really well and the thing is also is almost the alternative answer to what I had asked. You know, one of our first, our second guest, when I had asked him what is the best, you know, what is the best thing that dads can do, you know, and he said we have to live our best life because if we do live our best life, because if we do live our best life, then we can impact our kids. So this is alternatively what you just mentioned. You know we have to have our cup full, you know whether it's health, you know and everything else. Yep, yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 3:There's so many tools out there to do it. You know, I listened to all these podcasts. I don't know if you're a fan of Andrew Huberman. You know the five colors, you know the sunlight in your eyes in the morning, you know the cold exposure, the exercise, the eating and all that. But the other thing that dads can do and this might even be, this is like this is like a number two right here.
Speaker 3:This is really important for connection with the kids is you have to sit down with them and start to enjoy what they enjoy. If they enjoy playing a game, well, you better sit down and start loving that game, because in the middle of that game is when you're going to have that connection. If they like to skateboard sorry, dad, you're going to have to build a skateboard ramp and you're going to have to get some knee pads and start skateboarding. Because that's, dad, you're going to have to build a skateboard ramp and you're going to. You have to get some knee pads and start skateboarding, right, right, because that's the way you're going to connect with your kids, that's the way you're going to build that bond that's going to last a lifetime, you know, and then you're a team. You know and then you're a team and then they respect you and they listen to you and you can you can really foster a sense of you know I got you Right, and then there's no limit to what you guys can accomplish together.
Speaker 2:My friend. So I'm glad that we have spoken, because there were two things that were lingering to me, like right now, you know, in terms of the anxiety and depression, that depression that these kids are feeling. You know how do you deal with that and I think you you mentioned the example how you kind of you, you know like it's good to try, like you know, you know, have the help of a coach like yourself, but if somebody cannot afford that, how do they address these, these issues?
Speaker 3:yeah, I think that the number one thing is is being a good listener, and when you're, I think that the number one thing is being a good listener and when you're, I think you need to ask open-ended questions about how they're feeling about what happened and say you know. Well, you know why, you know, why do you have that thought? You know, or what is the thought, what's the thought that keeps happening in your mind? You know or explain to them. You know what's the thought that keeps happening in your mind. You know or explain to them. You know, this is normal, like I have this little internal narrative. It's like voice in my head Right that tells me that you know, when I walk into a crowded room, that I think somebody's looking at me or I think somebody's thinking about me. Just lay it out there, tell it, because it's normal, everybody has that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:So what is that thought that you keep having? What is that thought when you're in that situation, when you're getting off the bus at school? What is that thought that you have that keeps you from wanting to go in the door? And then let's listen to it? And so you know asking the right questions and then listening. Well, I don't like it, because when I get off the bus I go right to my homeroom and I have this bully there you know that calls me names and then you know if I want to talk to a teacher, you know he overhears what I'm saying and you know he'll tell my other friends later and I don't want him to do that. So that's why I don't like going in there.
Speaker 3:There's all these different scenarios that happen, but asking the right questions and then listening to the answer I'm sorry it's such a simple answer to your question, but being aware that that's a power that parents have that they can use, it's underutilized. Usually parents use their voice to nag or ask about homework or say get ready, we got to go to the game, get your equipment and your things ready and let's go. Not all the time do we ask those questions about. How does it make you feel when you get together with that friend? How does it make you feel that that teacher gave that assignment to you? Those sorts of things, and just listening actively to the answer is usually the most helpful. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Brother, I know we can chat and chat for a long time. There's something that comes to my mind right now you have parenting like different parenting. You have some parents that say you have parenting, you know, like different parenting. You have some parents that say they're very. You know like everything is clear-cut from the beginning. You know they're very. You know straightforward and army-like and everything, and the kids they grow up to be that and all these things you know.
Speaker 2:They know about Internet. Let's say you know like during. You know like time to eat, or like you know let's say during time to eat, or let's say at 7 pm or something. It's very old school. They will remove the internet, they disconnect the internet and all these things. And kids they listen and they do these things because they do everything with their diet, they exercise together, they do all these things. So for a parent that hasn't been doing any of this and now, all of a sudden, now they want to do better, so how do they fix this issue with the technology? You know, because kids nowadays, most of the time they're glued into this and you need to have the time with them. So how do you address that? If you've been so, I'm sorry to use the language soft all this time. Now you're trying to switch up and do a better job to address the language soft. All this time now you're trying to switch up and do a better job to address the uh, the gap of uh, of connection.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, how do you fix that? I think, I think the way to. Well, you have to start slow, start small. It's not going to happen overnight, right? You know it's something that, uh, you know, eventually they're going to grow out of it anyway, right? So you know, I think that the first thing is to provide an alternative, you know, provide a fun alternative that's engaging for them, that you, you all, can participate in.
Speaker 3:Or maybe it's just you know, you, you and the one child, or maybe they have siblings, or maybe it's a family event, or maybe it's you know, you, you, or maybe it's a family event, uh, or maybe it's you know, you, you, um, you know, maybe they are interested in um animation. Uh, you know, helping them to uh find a group of folks, whether it's an afterschool club or uh, some other, uh, some other, some other group uh that uh has art classes, uh, to uh help stimulate that love of animation. You know the offline thing and your time with them is in the car ride, there, you know that's when you're asking those questions. Uh, you know anything you, anything a parent can do to um get, get them from from behind the screen into a situation where they're socializing IRL with other people, their age and also working towards their passion is like the perfect thing.
Speaker 2:That's amazing, thank you. Thank you. I think that's a great idea. I did not think about that. I just thought about, wow, it would be very hard for a parent that hasn't been doing this nowadays to get an addiction. That is really an addict, because, trust me, to get from that addiction is not going to be easy. They're going to be more easily irritated and all these things. You cannot just cut off immediately this thing, easily irritated and all these things. You know, like you, you cannot just cut off immediately this thing. So, yeah, no, you have to wean it.
Speaker 3:You have to definitely wean it off. And there are some programs. I have friends that run summer camps like detox camps. You know for kiddos that that are highly addicted.
Speaker 1:It was a four week program.
Speaker 3:You know, no screens, no tech. They're doing horseback riding and growing a garden and doingfires and s'mores and fishing and all that stuff and that's a more intensive sort of detox. But every half hour, every hour you can cut down little by little. Start with one hour this week. You want to eliminate one hour screen time this week. Start with that other program. Start by taking a walk.
Speaker 2:Amazing. Yeah, walk is amazing, my friend. Yeah, people, people, easy to talk, but when you do it is is such a good feeling, my brother. Yes, sir, it is, it really is Coach. That was a goldmine of information. I truly appreciate you, my friend. How can they find you, my friend?
Speaker 3:My friend. How can they find you? My friend, lifecoachkevincom, Also on Instagram at Life Coach Kevin. Facebook is Teen Life Coach and yeah, I'm happy to do free consultations for parents that have some concerns. If you're a good parent and I know you have a ton of good parents listening if you see red flags, if you're concerned and you're worried and you're confused or you're frustrated, that's normal. We got a problem with our, with our kiddos. You know there's stuff going on, but that's okay. It's growing pains, you know, and it takes a village and you know I'm a resource here to help you figure out. You know well, what results do you want to see from your kiddo? Do you want them to make more friends? Do you want them to get better grades? Do you want them to excel at sports? You name it. Let's talk about what you want to see and we will put together a customized program to get you guys there.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's amazing and for all of you parents. Keep up the good work and I will definitely see you into the next episode. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening, guys.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to Dad Puzzles. We hope you learned something from today's podcast. Please leave us a review and give us a thumbs up, and don't forget to subscribe to our mailing list and YouTube channel Plus follow and like our Instagram and Facebook pages or any social media of your choice. You can also visit dadpuzzlescom for more resources that will help ease you into your parenthood journey. Thanks again for listening to Dad Puzzles.