Can traditional family roles keep up with the rapid pace of societal change? Join us on the latest episode of Dad Puzzles as we sit down with Mr. David Walker, a seasoned father and grandfather, who brings a treasure trove of insights from his journey through different eras of parenting. David shares his reflections on how fatherhood has evolved, the impact of technology on children’s activities, and the shift from stay-at-home moms to dual-income households. His personal stories paint a vivid picture of the discipline methods of yesteryears contrasted with today's parenting norms, offering valuable context for understanding the transformation in family dynamics.
In the second chapter of our conversation, we tackle the challenges of modern fatherhood amidst today’s materialistic culture. We explore the growing tendency to prioritize money over family and discuss the need for educational reforms that include civic responsibility and financial literacy. Drawing from his book "America in 2040: Still a Superpower?", where he outlines strategies for creating a brighter future while emphasizing the importance of long-term planning, ethical standards, and maintaining positive relationships. This episode is packed with actionable advice and heartfelt reflections aimed at inspiring and supporting dads, moms, and future generations on their parenting journeys.
Can traditional family roles keep up with the rapid pace of societal change? Join us on the latest episode of Dad Puzzles as we sit down with Mr. David Walker, a seasoned father and grandfather, who brings a treasure trove of insights from his journey through different eras of parenting. David shares his reflections on how fatherhood has evolved, the impact of technology on children’s activities, and the shift from stay-at-home moms to dual-income households. His personal stories paint a vivid picture of the discipline methods of yesteryears contrasted with today's parenting norms, offering valuable context for understanding the transformation in family dynamics.
In the second chapter of our conversation, we tackle the challenges of modern fatherhood amidst today’s materialistic culture. We explore the growing tendency to prioritize money over family and discuss the need for educational reforms that include civic responsibility and financial literacy. Drawing from his book "America in 2040: Still a Superpower?", where he outlines strategies for creating a brighter future while emphasizing the importance of long-term planning, ethical standards, and maintaining positive relationships. This episode is packed with actionable advice and heartfelt reflections aimed at inspiring and supporting dads, moms, and future generations on their parenting journeys.
Welcome to Dad Puzzles Everything Dad. If you're questioning yourself about dad functions, duties and life in general, you've come to the right place. Parenthood can be tough. Learning to juggle caring for your baby with your career and also keeping things fresh with your partner can be a struggle, but we're here to make things easier with helpful tips for making the most of your situation. Being a dad may seem like a puzzle, but it's one you can definitely solve. Now here's your host, dr Suleiman Ijani.
Speaker 2:
Hello, welcome to Dad Puzzles podcast. Today we are very fortunate to have a very good friend here, mr David Walker, dad Puzzles community. We are lucky to really have you today because you're the first graduated dad. You know, you. You know you've been through the fatherhood and you know, and now you have your own grandkids. So you know, you know the whole thing. You know a couple of times you know around. So thank you so much for really joining us. But for people that do not know you, sir, can you maybe introduce yourself?
Speaker 3:
Sure, I'm Dave Walker. I'm actually only the second person in my Walker line to graduate from college. I've got two children. I've got two children. I've got three grandchildren. I got married at 19. I've been married for 53 years later probably next month to the same woman, I might add, because when you're married that long, a lot of times you've got to make sure you make that clear Right and I've had the good fortune of running organizations in the private sector, the government and the not-for-profit sector, and so I consider myself fortunate in that regard.
Speaker 2:
Well, that is amazing and I saw one of the biggest titles with the US Comptroller and also being involved during the Reagan administration, bush administration and Clinton my brother Talk about that.
Speaker 3:
Well, I have run three federal agencies. I've had three presidential appointments from people from both political parties initially Reagan, then Bush 41, then Clinton. I've been appointed to other part-time positions, you know, since then. I'm currently on the Defense Business Board and I've, frankly, had some position in every administration since Reagan, except for one, and I was offered one in that one, but I had other things that took my time at that point in time. I had other things that took my time at that point in time, so I couldn't do it. So the job that I'm best known for is as the Comptroller General of the United States, which in English is Auditor General, chief Accountability Officer and the Chief Executive Officer of the US Government Accountability Office.
Speaker 2:
Yes, sir, Thank you so much for really joining this small podcast to help us know much about fatherhood, so we can talk a little bit about that, because I was saying you know how you know, you know what are the differences of the dads before and the dads now, and I think you added some great points about that Not only dads. Can you talk a little bit about that?
Speaker 3:
Well, yeah, it's not just the dads, it's the dads and the moms, and I know this podcast is focused more on the dads, but my dad and mom were a nuclear family. My dad was the breadwinner for the house. He was in the Navy, used the GI Bill to be able to get a degree from the University of Alabama, worked his way up in the telephone company in various management positions. My mother was a traditional homemaker who raised three boys and, believe me, that's a full-time job, raising three boys. I was the oldest of three boys and, by all account, the least trouble of all three.
Speaker 3:
Things changed a little bit after I left the house. You know things were a lot different. I mean, you know, back when I was growing up, we used to go outside, we used to play sports, we used to do things. I mean nowadays you get young people that are in front of a computer all day playing computer games. I mean we didn't have smartphones back then, okay, in fact, I remember my dad worked for AT&T, the telephone company, and I remember he brought home one of the first mobile phones and the thing was like huge, you know, with a long antenna on it, right, I mean, you know, and now we have in the palm of our hand, and it's a computer, it's not just a phone, it's a computer, much more powerful than the original desktop computers, if you will. Kids, you know. So kids tend to not be as active.
Speaker 3:
Back then too, you know, if somebody said, wait till your father comes home, you knew you were in trouble, right, absolutely. You knew you were in trouble, right. And. And back then I can tell you I less than five times in my lifetime have I been on the wrong end of a spanking, uh from from my father, uh and um. But you know you don't have to do it but one or two times to get the message, if you know what I mean, although, although nowadays you know you, you can't do that because you may get turned into the police or whatever. So it's not just that you know the dads are different, but you know the kids are different. You know the technology is different, the moms are different. I mean, my wife worked outside the home and raised two kids, and so things are just very, very different now than they were back then.
Speaker 2:
I totally agree with you and, for instance, I can share an example for me of those rankings. That's why I agree with you. I remember only one that stands out. One time I did something at the dinner table and information got to my dad and he had to go outside. He found a little like a wimpy stick, but it's something. It doesn't go, oh my God. So I got a good whip.
Speaker 3:
So one of the tricks I did back in the days which I cannot teach to my kids because they will not benefit from this information.
Speaker 2:
I hear you, I hear you?
Speaker 3:
I hear you, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, I think mine was. I think I got a spanking once or twice. My brothers, I think, were a little bit more frequent on the other end of the stick, but that's their problem, not mine.
Speaker 2:
Right, right, no. But the importance of this, I think, is that we were really, we learned not to do those crazy stuff because we know the consequence. Nowadays it's quite unfortunate because they know the consequence but they have almost like a defense system. No, I can call the police. I cannot believe this. But kids, they say these things so they can do bad behavior and they can still share the information. Yeah, my school tells me, if my dad touches me or my mom, I have to call the police. So for a parent that is not educated in the sense that, knowing that the importance of my child to be good, they will be mad or, for instance, they can. They can leave the child alone and not push them to do good, because they feel like, okay, you know what, you can have your police teach you or something, but if you do that, you're giving up on your child. So maybe we should emphasize to the parents.
Speaker 3:
The parents have primary responsibility for raising the kids, and when I say parents, it's both. You need a two-parent household If you don't have a two-parent household.
Speaker 3:
It's very difficult. But secondly, parents need to be motivators. They need to be supporters, but they also need to be able to tell the truth. There's a difference between being a parent and being your child's best friend. In being your child's best friend, you know I mean you want to. You don't want to be feared, you want to be respected. You know, at the same point in time, you know kids have to learn accountability. You know when you do good things you should be praised, but when you do things that aren't good and that are totally inappropriate, you need to be held accountable for that in some way. The other thing is is that when I was growing up, we didn't have participation trophies. You know I mean you came in first, second or third and beyond that.
Speaker 3:
You know that was it you know, now, everybody's a winner, everybody's a winner. And the other thing that's different is nowadays we use certain words way too loosely than we used to. One word is hero. We use the word hero so much now for things that are totally inappropriate to use the word hero.
Speaker 2:
Wow, keep us in example. This is amazing. This is amazing.
Speaker 3:
Well, you know, now I've got grandkids, okay, and you know the story about grandkids. They're God's gift to humanity. You enjoy them, you spoil them and you exercise the put option and you give them back to the parents. So you know your kids, you know there can be good things and bad things with your kids, but with your grandkids it should all be good stuff.
Speaker 2:
Oh, that's right, there you go. I see, there you go, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:
And they're very different. You know, our kids are very different. You know, first we had a daughter that was the first daughter on the Walker side, a long time, because I was the oldest of three boys. My dad was the only child, obviously he was a boy, and so it'd been years since the Walker line had had a girl. So my mother was elated and then we ended up having a boy after that. So one girl, one boy. My wife said that's all they make, so we're done, and I figured she had more to say about it than I did. You know, so that was it. But they were very different. I mean, you know, the same genetics, right same household, same upbringing, but very different, very different, and you need to treat them as individuals, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2:
And you know, and one thing I'm noticing, I think girls they're more kind, they're more caring. You know, there's so many examples where you see boys they will not. I mean, I'm not saying they're not caring, it's just it's not in their nature, like you know, like offering them something, they will take it and be happy, but daughters they wonder, like, daddy, did you have yours? Like, the other day I was at the store with my three kids and you know, like, two daughters and one son, and I bought for them, you know, candy. You know everyone had a candy.
Speaker 2:
So we went outside, I started opening for them and my daughter asked me where is yours, dad? I said no, I just bought for you guys. Because you know, she said, no, I want you to have one. So I, I practiced this, uh, this, you know, um, I wanted them to to start experiencing that their freedom. You know they're five, four and two, sure? So so I sent them to buy for me and you know, like, I gave them the money and stuff. So they went right back to the store. They were happy to practice that. But also I was happy to learn that, you know, girls, girls are amazing, they're more caring, and it's just beautiful Daughters typically stay closer.
Speaker 3:
For example, our daughter we talk to her every day on the phone Amazing and we see her and her husband because they only live about, you know, an hour away from us about every other weekend, about an hour away from us about every other weekend. Our son, who lives further away, about three and a half hours away, he's continued the tradition that we've had in my family when I was growing up, and that is, we would talk every weekend to kind of catch up on what's going on. If something big happens, then you talk you just every weekend. You end up talking. So big differences, you know, if you will, between you know, men and women, okay, and boys and girls. Oh, by the way, I can tell that we have the same barber, okay, and I'll tell you another big difference.
Speaker 3:
You know, I had hair until I had a teenage daughter and then it went real fast, real fast. Oh, yes, you're ahead of me Because you're a teenager, oh man.
Speaker 2:
I have 21, so I totally know what you mean, you know. But the beauty of that is she was close to me so she always tells me all those stories you know, so I don't know. You know, I'm sure she was sharing with you some things that were like I think you should tell your mom this, but she shared with me and I'm not. I was not blocking that information. I wanted to hear so I can advise the good stuff.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, well, you have to, you have, you have. You know, if they want to talk to you in confidence, they need to make it very clear because otherwise you can end up having problems with your spouse. So, yeah, and you know, you know the old saying if mommy ain't happy, absolutely nobody my brother thanks so much, sir.
Speaker 2:
sir, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3:
No problem, happy to be with you.
Speaker 2:
Somebody. I had asked a dad, my prior guest, about, let's say, when I speak with you, what questions should I ask you? Because you know, like there's this tradition where I want one guest to ask the next guest. So he shared with me that what, what do you think? Maybe he thinks that currently people, maybe they prioritize money versus family. You know, you know, do you? Do you have anything to say about that? Like, what do you think about that?
Speaker 3:
Well, I think I think people are more materialistic now. I don't think that's a good thing, but I think it's a true thing. I think the other challenge that we have right now is that too many people are living for today rather than trying to take steps to help create a better tomorrow. You know, I've had the good fortune of being able to give several commencement addresses, you know, to people who are graduating from college and, by the way, I don't think college is for everybody. I mean, we need good people in the trades and in other fields that don't require a college education. And I've told them.
Speaker 3:
I tell them I said look in America, if you've got a solid education, a positive attitude, a strong work ethic, solid moral and ethical values, you have unlimited potential. And it's really up to you. And that it's always better to do things that you like, because you're going to do better at things that you like than things that you don't like. And just also remember that it's not just what you say, but how you say it that counts. Plus, you never know who you may see in the future. You don't want to burn bridges, right, because you might end up coming across that person in the future. You don't want to burn bridges, right, because you might end up coming across that person in the future and they could end up being your superior rather than your subordinate, right?
Speaker 3:
So I do think that one of the things that our education system is not doing a good job of and this is the K through 12 education they're not doing a good job of, and this is the K-12 education they're not doing a good job of civic responsibility what are our responsibilities as a citizen of this country? And secondly, they're not doing a good job of financial literacy how to deal with money, the do's and don'ts and all of that and I think you know to a great extent that's caused a lot of dysfunction and heartache. And I think our politicians are also, you know, living too much for today and not doing things to help create a better tomorrow. So I don't worry about me or people, your age, okay. I don't worry as much about my kids. I'm very concerned about my grandkids because our politicians are mortgaging their future, reducing investments in their future, and they're going to have a lot tougher competition in the world, not just from people in other countries in our country, but from artificial intelligence and all kinds of other technology that's on the horizon.
Speaker 2:
Sir, those are so much important information that we need to really, you know, unpack and work on them, so I'll make sure that I highlight that information in our notes. Is there anything else you would like to maybe share with dads as a you know?
Speaker 3:
Well, the only thing I'd say and this doesn't just relate to dads- it relates to everything.
Speaker 3:
I mean. I recently self-published a book that's about what our future may be like if we don't end up changing course, but then provide solutions on. What do we need to do to make sure that our future is better than our past. It's called America in 2040, still a superpower question mark and you can find out more about it at american2040.com. So, suleiman, thank you so much for the opportunity and congratulations on trying to make a positive example for dads. We can all use more help.
Speaker 2:
Thank you so much, david, for sharing that, and I'll be sharing the link about what you just shared so folks can learn from that. And thank you again so much for doing that. And you know you're amazing, you have a great CV, great experience, and what you have shared today definitely will be impactful to so many dads, and the book as well. I'm looking forward to reading it myself and please welcome to come back to share anything. You see that is important down the road, because this is your. You know it's always going to be here and, like you mentioned, it's not only for dads, you know, like moms as well. I just put it as a dad puzzle because I saw online everything was about moms, so I'm like we need something for dads as well. But I'm not really segregated, you know I talk to moms.
Speaker 3:
Well plus Father's.
Speaker 2:
Day is right around the corner, perfect brother. Thanks so much, dave. All right, take care. Good to see you, take care. Thank you All the best.
Speaker 3:
Bye-bye, Thank you my friend, thank you, god be with.
Speaker 1:
Thanks for listening to Dad Puzzles. We hope you learned something from today's podcast. Please leave us a review and give us a thumbs up, and don't forget to subscribe to our mailing list and YouTube channel Plus follow and like our Instagram and Facebook pages or any social media of your choice. You can also visit dadpuzzlescom for more resources that will help ease you into your parenthood journey. Thanks again for listening to Dad Puzzles.
