The Radiant Mission

98. Mike's Testimony: Finding Faith Amidst Struggles and Imperfections

Rebecca Twomey

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Can faith truly transform a life riddled with struggles and imperfections? That’s the powerful question we explore in this heartfelt episode of the Radiant Mission Podcast, where my husband, Michael Twomey, joins me for an intimate discussion on God's unwavering goodness. From the comfort of our dining room, still adorned with decorations from our daughter's birthday, we talk about our battles with spiritual warfare and an unusual illness that could be a new COVID variant. As we reflect on these challenges, we also consider their possible impacts on the impending election season.

We take you through Mike's faith journey, starting with his Catholic upbringing to the redemptive power of faith that reshaped both of our lives. Michael opens up about his past struggles with pornography and how Christ's teachings helped him overcome such difficulties. We also discuss the stark contrasts between Catholic and non-denominational church experiences, emphasizing that sharing our real, imperfect stories can inspire others to find grace and redemption in their own lives. 

You'll hear about pivotal moments that solidified our faith, like our encounter with "Tony the water guy," who reminded us of the importance of adhering to the core principles of our beliefs. We reflect on spiritual milestones, the significance of prayer, and the dangers of modern-day temptations. Ending with a powerful reading from Matthew, chapter 7, we encourage you to choose the narrow gate that leads to life. Stay connected with us on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram for more uplifting content.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission Podcast. My name is Rebecca Toomey and we are on a mission to encourage and inspire you as you're navigating through this life and with your relationship with Yahweh. We are in a different spot than I normally record. You guys usually see me sitting at my desk and today we are in our dining room because I have a very special guest. If this is your first time joining us, thank you for being here. We are currently in a series where we're sharing testimonies about the goodness of God and I have a very special guest here tonight to share his testimony. I mentioned a little bit last week about how this special guest also maybe had a little bit of spiritual warfare where he didn't know if he was ready to share his testimony and then after said you know what? I'm ready. I still don't know if he's ready. I mean, even tonight we're going to find out if he's still ready. But without further ado, I introduce you to the one and only Michael Toomey.

Speaker 2:

Hello, thanks for having me today.

Speaker 1:

And again, if you're new here, Mike is my husband and he has joined us on a couple of different series so far. He was in our marriage series. He was in the episodes about all of the births of our children and any other ones. Anything I'm missing.

Speaker 2:

I don't know. I just like to pop in every now and then when you you'll have me yeah, yeah, that's usually how it goes right.

Speaker 1:

This is a very different setup for us. Like I said the other times that we've recorded, we've either you've been upstairs on zoom and I've been downstairs on zoom, or we've sat side by side in my office. But I wanted to do something a little bit different, where we could see each other in person, because it's weird to be in a different room from someone in the same house when you're recording.

Speaker 2:

I like the Zoom calls. I feel very natural doing that. That's true. I spend most of my life on Zoom.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, both of us work from home, so we're pretty used to being on Zoom calls all the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I pretty much live on Zoom.

Speaker 1:

But thanks for stepping into my studio today.

Speaker 2:

I'm so happy to be here in person. It's very nice.

Speaker 1:

It's nice to be in person, right, and to get to see each other. Usually, if we're side by side, we don't see each other's face and I'm like cramming your head in the microphone.

Speaker 2:

My favorite part is the balloons. I'm really all about the balloons right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so our daughter, our youngest daughter, turned one a couple weeks ago, so we still have some decorations up from her little cute princess party. But honestly, the colors of these balloons are the colors of our house, so it's not really that unusual.

Speaker 2:

They're the colors in our house, so it's not really that unusual. They're the colors in your heart. Your favorite colors pastel, blue and pink.

Speaker 1:

They are the colors of my heart.

Speaker 2:

Lovely cuddly pastel colors.

Speaker 1:

It's true, I mean I. If you're watching on YouTube, you'll be able to see all this, or watching on Instagram. Pink microphone today. I got my pink cup today. These are my colors, definitely.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Barbie. So I want to, before we get started in Mike's testimony, I actually want to back up, because last week I shared with you guys how this series has faced a bunch of different things that I feel are spiritual warfare, where a lot of cancellations and just folks unsure about coming on or recording their episode, and I was so focused on that and then also the fact that we had all these birthday parties in Florida and New York and here and the family trips that I totally forgot to mention. And I do think that this is worth mentioning because last time I talked about what in the world is going on literally that was the conversation. I also me and the kids were super sick for like a couple weeks with what I believe was the new quote, covid.

Speaker 1:

I never had COVID in 2020 or in the preceding years after that, but I, for the first time, got a sickness where I lost my sense of taste and smell, and that has never happened to me before. It was really weird. I couldn't taste anything. It was like I could eat anything and it tasted like nothing, and I also had a crazy fever for a couple of days. I had a cough, I had a sore throat, I basically had a cold and a flu at the same time. It was very weird.

Speaker 1:

But the weirdest symptom of all was I had horrible ear pain and I've never had an ear infection before in my life. So that was very uncomfortable for me because I thought this is an ear infection. I still don't know whether it was or it wasn't, but I went to our chiropractor and I was like listen man, I think I have an ear infection. Told him about what's going on, because chiropractors can actually do some little jiggity jags to help open up your ear bones or I don't know, I'm not very educated on what it's called, what they actually do, the release that they do to open up your ears. But he said something really interesting. He said he has seen more adults with quote ear infections in the past month than he had seen in his entire career, like combined 20 plus years.

Speaker 1:

So I thought that was interesting because it kind of seemed like that was just a symptom of the new COVID. And the reason I mentioned this is because he said I also have a theory that this is going to be the new thing come fall. We're in election season, election year, and they're going to try to roll out this new COVID so that they can keep pushing these boosters or whatever. And they just made me laugh because I had already been thinking the same thing before I went to this office. So, anyway, this is just adding to the what in the world is going on nonsense, that something is rolling out. So I thought it was kind of funny. I forgot to mention it, and then I saw a video after that from the View literally a couple of days later after I recorded, and they were saying oh, new COVID, and they were having a conversation about the boosters. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is exactly what we were talking about.

Speaker 2:

So get your booster Run out and get it.

Speaker 1:

Get boosted. That should give us some street cred on the podcast airwaves right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's probably going to get advertised now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's get this thing advertised. If you listen to this podcast, you know that I'm joking, but anyway, I guess Mike probably doesn't have much to say about all this fun stuff night one night and like I hadn't had an ear infection since I was a kid, yeah, and it was really.

Speaker 1:

It was terrible, oh interesting that you say that since you were a kid. So mike and I were talking about quacks scenes once and well, the first time that we really got to talking about it, when we were deciding about what to do with our kids and he had said, well, I'm fine, and then one day he goes. You know what's crazy? Every time that I would go to the visits where I would get my quacks scenes, I would get an ear infection.

Speaker 2:

I didn't necessarily make that connection. I just realized that it felt like an annual sickness. Realized that it felt like an annual sickness, like I felt like I always got ear infections and I had a bunch of friends that always got ear infections. And it's like, why is that? And I thought it was strange because I remember distinctly getting a bunch of ear infections and you were like ear infection, like what's that? I never even had that before, yeah yeah. So I thought that was kind of weird. But this ear it was. It was actually really scary because I couldn't hear out of my left ear for a while. It felt like I was just underwater and you dripped some kind of honey or wax or something in my ear and I thought that that might have been the problem. But finally it went away and now I can hear out of my ear again.

Speaker 1:

So so it was like garlic oil. It was not honey, yeah, it was. Whatever it was. It was nasty. Whatever it was, it didn't even make it in his ear hole, cause he was screaming and threshing. He was literally worse than the kids. He wouldn't let me get it in his ears, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But it worked. Honestly, it was relieving, at least Cause that night I mean I was, I was really in pain, that was. That was a rough night. That was up in.

Speaker 1:

New York. Yeah, yeah, you were not in good shape and we were also sleeping in the same room as two of our kids. Our four-year-old was on the air mattress with us, so he's like bouncing around. I'm like are you okay?

Speaker 2:

No, I was not okay. Are you okay? No, I was not okay. Are you okay? Not okay, are you?

Speaker 1:

gonna? Are you gonna survive this? So he ended up actually sleeping in a chair because you couldn't lay down, I had to just sit up.

Speaker 1:

I had to just sit up and hope that it would drain so your ear really hurt, but now he's doing better and we're doing better and we are fighting against all odds to record this episode because, like I said, it's been kind of a long time coming. But I am excited for us to hear Mike's faith journey and kind of what's brought him to where he is today and some of the really meaningful and kind of crazy things that have happened too during your story. You were recently baptized, so we'll back up to way before that, before we get to that, but I just wanted to mention that because it was very exciting and cool. So let's start with some background information first, so people can kind of get to know where you started with your faith journey. Can you tell us a little bit about how you grew up, your background and kind of your faith in your family as you grew up?

Speaker 2:

Sure. So before I really get into that, I want to comment on why it was hard for me to sit down and have this conversation, or feel like I was ready to have this conversation, cause I think it really sets the stage for um, for myself and hopefully for a lot of other people that you know. I didn't feel ready to talk about it, or talk about my faith journey or whatever it may be, because I just felt like, well, like, do I really even have anything to say? Do I? Um, you know, am I a good example? Am I? You know, I'm not perfect.

Speaker 2:

And I think what I realized in my heart was that, you know, nobody's really got it all together, nobody's perfect, and that's what the story is really all about is that we're not perfect and we're saved by grace, you know. So I think that's really important to mention. That's a good point. You know that there's times, like I've told you before, I go to church and I look around and I go. You know everybody's so perfect here, everybody's so nice, and you know I feel like an odd one out and I'm not. You know, like nobody is perfect. Everybody's different, of course, everybody's story is different and you know, my walk has been different from a lot of other people, but it's just important to remember that. You know, nobody's perfect, and that's what it's all about. That's why we need Christ.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that there's a formality that comes with church too, that everybody's kind of on their best and everything, and it's not until you really get to know people and their deepest, darkest secrets that you really understand that we're all very much the same and you know you and I have friends in the faith that it's taken us years to really dig deep with each other.

Speaker 1:

Really dig deep with each other and it's easy to be surface, it's easy to be all like, put together, and especially you know if you've moved or whatnot, like people don't know your childhood, your upbringing, your past, unless you share it, and I think that that's something that a lot of us live with the knowledge of what we know, and that can hold us back sometimes. So I'm glad that you decided that your story is important because it's about God and it's about glorifying God, no matter how significant or insignificant it is, which I think is very significant, because there are things that you faced that you've talked about on this podcast before that you've overcome, and I think that can be a big encouragement to men and to married couples who have potentially run into situations in their past or present. But I'm not going to get ahead of myself here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I almost felt like it makes my story even more important to tell, because I hope that it makes it more relatable, like I'm not coming from a squeaky clean, you know. So I just hope that that makes it more real.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, nobody wants squeaky clean. Everyone wants to hear the how God has saved. So that's true. All right, so tell us about your background.

Speaker 2:

My background, my childhood. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school for my whole life actually.

Speaker 1:

I was always in Catholic school, Very Italian-Irish Catholic too right yeah, totally Totally Irish, italian, roman Catholic.

Speaker 2:

Midwife Mike is from staten island from staten island, new york and for those that could catch on to that yeah, we don't even really have like protestant church there, like catholic is?

Speaker 1:

no, you don't catholic is it?

Speaker 2:

you know that's that's what we got going on there, yeah, and a and a lot of immigrants from Italy and the Irish, and so that's how I grew up. I grew up in Catholic school and you know, my family went to church. My parents took me to church. I didn't mind going to church, I liked it, but it's interesting learning what I know now. You know I'm not going to jump ahead too much, but it was just. It's very different. Like you kind of go to church and you have these rules and stuff that you need to follow.

Speaker 1:

And you know what are the rules.

Speaker 2:

I mean there's lots of rules, there's lots and lots of rules. What are the rules? I mean there's lots of rules, there's lots and lots of rules. What?

Speaker 1:

are the rules for to get into heaven?

Speaker 2:

Heaven rules, I don't really know, I don't really know, but that's the question, right, that you kind of ask when you really start to dig into the Bible and you think about you know you try to distill god's word down to what is the essence, and it's not like you can't eat meat on friday during lent, and you know there's just certain things that okay, so you can't eat lent, or you can't eat lent.

Speaker 2:

You can't eat meat on fridays, but you can eat fish, right, I think, yeah, you could eat fish, and but then the conspiracy behind that is that it goes back to like roman times, where the fishermen people started eating a lot of meat and the fishermen were going out of business and so like they you know they got you to eat fish on the fridays during lent and uh okay, I don't know if that's true or not, but there's just lots of things.

Speaker 2:

Lots of things that you've got to kind of jump through the hoops. You know it's kind of legalistic. That's a word that I didn't even know before. Okay, you got to go to confession. That's a big one.

Speaker 1:

Tell us about confession. What's that like Conf Tell us about confession.

Speaker 2:

Confession is a big one where you got to go to church and you go early to church and you got to go in a little box and tell the priest all your sins so that he can forgive you. The priest forgives you. Yeah, I mean, the priest absolves you of your sins.

Speaker 1:

Okay, on behalf of God.

Speaker 2:

I guess that's it, he's like you know he's the guy you're going to the guy, yeah, and so you gotta you know, you gotta tell him all your dirt so he could he could wash you clean, or whatever does he sprinkle anything on you or he just tells you?

Speaker 1:

he just tells you you're good sprinkling okay. Um, how did you feel about that as a kid? Did you actually share your sins? Did you share them all, or are you just kind of like?

Speaker 2:

fluffed them. I remember the only. There's a couple of confessions that I remember, oh, and the first one is the most memorable one, and I will say it was a. It was a lovely experience that I confessed whatever meaningless sins I thought that I had on my heart.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt light. I really I felt great. It was, it was wonderful, I loved it. I loved my first confession. It was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so you loved confession.

Speaker 2:

I loved the first confession. It was great. Okay, the rest of them is real, real pill.

Speaker 1:

They were fun after that.

Speaker 2:

No, they're not that fun, you know. Just, you gotta go tell somebody about all your dirt, so that's not that great. Okay, you definitely don't want to dig up too much dirt. Okay, you kind of go in there with, like you know, here's a couple of things I don't mind saying Everybody does.

Speaker 1:

So you didn't get all of it out.

Speaker 2:

You don't need to get into all of it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I don't want to like jump, but at the same time, I think that this is a good time to talk about how maybe this has changed for you since you've formed a personal relationship with God, that instead of going to confession and talking to a priest and sharing your easiest of sins, your slightest lightest, ones.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the baby sins.

Speaker 1:

Now you go to the Lord and talk about your deepest, darkest ones and ask him to rescue you from them and help you. Is that accurate to say?

Speaker 2:

Amen. Yeah, jesus is our Lord and Savior and he died on the cross to save us from sin, and we are called to repent for our sins and to know that we're forgiven by his grace, that he was a sacrifice for us, and so it's a really big change. And I think it's really important for me to know I'm definitely not bashing Catholicism or anyone's religion or anyone's beliefs at all. Just what has changed for me is taking down what could have been a barrier between myself and the lord, is taking down all the religion and the smoke and the you know, the incense and the and the stained glass and all that stuff, like separating it and just trying to grow closer to him.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, I think that's what's really important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And also the the biggest thing for me is that you know, in church we read the Bible, but you read like a couple of passages, not a ton. And even in school, like we read the Bible, but I don't remember a ton of it.

Speaker 2:

You know, I don't feel like we really studied the Bible, or at least I didn't. My experience was not studying the Bible and really like digging into the word, and that's something that has changed for me is like, you know, we still go to church and we listen to sermons, but it's really about a personal relationship and for you to seek his word and his wisdom yourself. You know, know, like that that's the main difference, yeah, is I'm not like going to anyone else for guidance as much, or like the only exposure.

Speaker 1:

Exposure I have is because of church or because of a pastor or because of someone?

Speaker 2:

sure it's. It's about me, you know it's about what am I gonna do, so that's really the biggest change. Yeah, it's about what? Am I going to do so? That's really the biggest change.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's interesting because going to Catholic school and attending Mass every week or whenever you went throughout your childhood it kind of highlights what I think a lot of us experience in church, and it doesn't have to be with Catholic church. So I'm glad that you said that this isn't about bashing the Catholic church, but I think that this is a call to churches to do better. It's a call to churches to remind them that the emphasis on our personal relationships with Jesus Christ and reading our Bibles and studying our Bibles, it is important, it is extremely important. And the Catholic Church isn't the only place that doesn't do that. A lot of other churches and even today, a lot of these contemporary non-denominational churches. We can get caught up in the hype and caught up in the rock and roll, so to speak.

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 1:

And I think that there's a lot of people that probably go and they hear a holly, jolly message and then they go home and they aren't exposed to any of this in between either.

Speaker 1:

You know. So it's not necessarily unique to your upbringing, but I think the cool thing about it is that, because you were raised in the Catholic Church, there were a lot of things that you did learn and there were things that, and as you grew in your faith, you were able to kind of dive in and be like actually that's not entirely true, but that's okay, because now I'm on my own path and I'm learning, like you, learning about the saints, which I thought was this kind of an interesting point. You know, we hear a lot about the saints in the Catholic Church and the Roman Catholic Church. It's like St Anthony and St Teresa and like all these saints that are held above others for their good deeds or being good people or whatever the case might be. But something that I think is interesting, that Mike has learned over the years, is that, biblically, anyone who is a believer in Jesus Christ is a saint. That's right. Biblically, anyone who is a believer in Jesus Christ is a saint.

Speaker 2:

That's right.

Speaker 1:

So all of us are saints and none of us are above or below others. Exactly, we're all equally the same. All of us are sinners, all of us. You know, none of us are perfect, and to say that one person is up here and everyone else is down here is kind of not very nice. Yeah, and not true.

Speaker 2:

I'll put this out there to get it off my chest and maybe somebody will hear this and bridge the gap that I see. But there's strengths on both sides. I think that there is a big emphasis on holiness in the Catholic church and there is an aura of holiness and and the Gregorian chant and the pipe organs and stuff Like I like. There's something about that that I really love and enjoy and and miss in a non-denominational church. I'll be totally honest, like the non-denominational churches that we've been to, many of them are just, you know it's, it's almost referred to as like an auditorium or you know the sanctuary is kind of like an auditorium and the chairs get ripped down and you could have tables in there and you could have bingo or something inside.

Speaker 1:

They don't do bingo in the Christian church. I know, I know. I'm just saying that's a Catholic thing.

Speaker 2:

That might be a Catholic thing, but that's fine. You know what I'm getting at.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they do the women's study or men's night or whatever.

Speaker 2:

They can make the room into multi-room of like the holiness and like the fear and humbling that you feel in a cathedral or something like that, and vice versa.

Speaker 1:

You're also talking about New York city, where there are literal cathedrals, because it's New York.

Speaker 2:

Well, new York, and you know throughout throughout Europe that the churches are.

Speaker 1:

We are in Knoxville, tennessee. All right, I understand, but you know I'm just In Europe.

Speaker 2:

We are in Knoxville, Tennessee. All right, I understand, but you know, I'm just saying like that there is something I get you, there's something that leaves me wanting in both sides, in both churches.

Speaker 1:

I think that the audience is going to write messages and they're going to be like Mike go to the Presbyterian Church. Maybe, maybe and maybe that's the answer, but I don't know. I'm just, I'm putting it out there.

Speaker 2:

So if you have an answer. If there's a place that is like this, then you tell me Um it actually. So let me get into what the. What I think is lacking on the other side is the personal relationship with Christ that we're called to have in the Protestant church. That it's your direct relationship, it's you digging into the Bible and there's just they cut the fluff. You know like they cut the fluff a lot of the non-denominational church.

Speaker 2:

Yes, exactly, and you know, Martin Luther's objections were all about cutting out the man-made rules and legalism and the things that were created by man, that did not come from the Bible. You know so. I think that's the benefit, that's the gain that you get on the other side, you know so. I just I think that it's important to know, like I don't think that either side is perfect and nobody's perfect, because we live in this fallen world, you know so that's okay.

Speaker 1:

A Presbyterian church for a while, baptist church for a while, non-denominational churches as well, and they are. The denominations are very different. And then when I met Mike, I went to the Catholic church. Listen, I went with him. I was not like I'm not going to go with you because I'm not Catholic. Of course I'm going to go with him. He, I love him, right he's. He was my boyfriend at the time and then fiance, and we got married and we grew in our faith together in many ways. But I was very respectful of the fact that his family was Catholic and his mom's a real strong Catholic. So you know she worked at the church, she was deep, so I went with you and seeing it firsthand was crazy.

Speaker 2:

I can only imagine somebody coming in from the outside, so I can only imagine the other side too.

Speaker 1:

You know your perspective going from such a formal, very structured church to then come into these like kumbaya session with a rock band.

Speaker 2:

I was shocked the first time I went to christian church and there's one was the first time guitar and drums and stuff my parents, it was one of those churches. No, it had to be one of those churches in the city, oh, like we went all the way on the like uptown on the Upper East Side or something. We found that church.

Speaker 1:

It was very difficult to find a quote Protestant church in New York City. There was only one that I could find on Staten Island and it was in an old theater. It was formerly like a play theater where they did plays and this church just met there and there was only a couple of people.

Speaker 2:

It was not very many people. It was very small yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I think we went maybe once. I don't even know if we went back.

Speaker 2:

I think we went once or twice, it was very intense.

Speaker 1:

I remember that.

Speaker 2:

I don't really remember anything about it, I just remember it was in the theater and I'm like what is this theater? But I just remember it was in the theater and I'm like what is this theater? Where's the stained glass? Where's the tabernacle? You know?

Speaker 1:

So that was actually. Every Protestant church that we went to was in a theater. We went to another one, like you said, I think it was Upper West Side, it was in a theater, and then we actually went to Hillsong.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, which was really cool, and Hillsong really freaked you out, though I think well, when they did, that, remember when they did the communion? Oh, I was not.

Speaker 1:

They were in these little plastic packets and you were like they're gonna, they're trying to roofie people it reminded me.

Speaker 2:

All I could think about was I don't I forget who that that like serial killer, cult leader guy was that he made everybody drink the kool-aid and then like 200 people all died. That's what I thought was happening. He made everybody drink the Kool-Aid and then like 200 people all died. That's what I thought was happening. I was really stressed out.

Speaker 1:

He was really panicking about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was freaked out about it.

Speaker 1:

The thing that was weird for me going to that where Hillsong met is I went to a HubSpot conference there, and so going there when it was a church was definitely strange.

Speaker 2:

I don't think it was in Webster hall, but if anyone's ever been, to New York and been to Webster hall. Just imagine going to church at Webster hall, and that's basically what it was like it was a concert venue so people could go there to see concerts. And everyone was dressed like they were going to a some 41 concert too. It was strange for me.

Speaker 2:

Definitely Very hipster super hipster, super hipster, super hipster. I just remember like a lot of plaid and skinny jeans and that was pretty much like the code, and everybody had vans, even the people working there. You know, like everybody was just really hipster, like they probably came from Williamsburg.

Speaker 1:

So this is kind of an interesting juxtaposition to share, because it's like coming from the Catholic church where they're wearing rob robes, to now everybody's wearing vans looks like they're going to a punk rock concert. The difference between these two churches changes very extreme. Now, when we moved to connecticut, we found a church, a protestant non-denominational church, called black rock, and it wasn't as crazy as the ones that we had been to it was not affiliated with black rock not affiliated.

Speaker 1:

It was a beautiful church, beautiful building, and they actually expanded when we were there too, and I would say it was much more mild than Hillsong, which we only went to Hillsong once, I think, or twice.

Speaker 2:

The clientele was different. Over there. The clientele it was more mature, not old crowd, but it was an older crowd. It wasn't the kids in vans at the Hillsong.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't the 20-something Hillsong people In the church right.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, it was definitely more mature. It wasong people Right? Exactly, it was definitely more mature, it was Connecticut people. So if anybody's ever been to Connecticut and rode the Metro North then you know what we're talking about. It's different.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I liked that church for that time in our lives. For sure, that was the first time that I really felt like I finally was home in a church since being moving to the Northeast Because listen to this story, I mean, how hard was it for us to find somewhere to go?

Speaker 2:

It was hard and it was interesting. I was dipping my toes in at that time to bring it to my experience going there. You got very comfortable and settled in there, you started singing on the worship team and you made lots of friends and stuff like that, and I was like just starting to dip my toes in, like maybe I can do this, but still didn't take communion I think that's significant to note Still didn't have a total trust because it was like I was coming from a different church. I still consider myself Catholic going to this other church. You did, you know. So it was a different experience for me than for you, because you were like, oh great, like finally found a place, finally a place, and I was like, okay, we're going to go here and like, as soon as it's done, let's beeline out of here and go to.

Speaker 2:

Costco as quick as we can, or whatever we did on Sundays at that time.

Speaker 1:

I think something worth noting too is that when you and I met, you were in your early 20s and you weren't going to church. No, definitely not. At that point you weren't going.

Speaker 2:

I would go if there was an event or something that christmas and easter church well, yeah, christmas and easter, of course, given yeah, but you know, if something was going on, I would go. It's not that I was like against church, no, just it was not a part of my, and you not only went to catholic school throughout school, but you also went to a catholic college I did did you study?

Speaker 1:

you studied religion in college too, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, religion class If you're. When you go to that Catholic college, you had to take like some sort of religion that you know every.

Speaker 1:

Some sort of religion. What does that mean? You could take a different religion. Well, no.

Speaker 2:

I. What I mean is like and we also had philosophy and I really took to philosophy, I really, really liked philosophy and I I think at some point in college I was trying to make an argument for atheism that there there definitely was a time.

Speaker 1:

Walk us through like I think. I feel like we talked about elementary, so now talk about how your faith shifted as you got to middle high school college.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so to. Really, if I think back when I was younger, I prayed a lot, like I prayed at night, I would pray before bed and I had like some prayers that I would always say I was going to ask were they like formal prayers or you were making them up?

Speaker 2:

There were formal prayers and then there was like just a little bit of informal thank yous and requests that I would make. But yeah, I prayed a lot as a kid and I don't really know where that ended or where that fell off. But in college, definitely no desire to be in church to pray, to try to live any kind of right way to look at the word like even though taking religion classes, like throughout high school and college, not really any relationship, you know, definitely not any kind of real relationship with God at that time and I can remember. So if I really think about this, you know I'm I'm kind of analyzing myself on the spot and I'm going to be real honest about it. In high school I remember listening to a lot of very angry death metal type of music, not really caring because I was feeding myself with negativity, like straight up negativity, heavy metal, like the one that comes to mind is lamb of god oh my, which is like the worst yeah right like lamb of god.

Speaker 2:

They. They're literally, they call themselves that and it's like black metal, you know. And there even is some stuff I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that they're like directly like heretical type stuff, but they did say things like there was some like biblical quotes and stuff and in an angry way is like an interesting way to frame that type of music. You know, to frame anything coming from the Bible and stuff like that and call yourselves Lamb of God and then scream at us, and you know it's. It's interesting to think about that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you didn't have any rules around music growing up, did you?

Speaker 2:

Not, really no.

Speaker 1:

Or what you watched or anything like that. It was kind of just always whatever.

Speaker 2:

Pretty much whatever.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I never considered like be careful what you see, be careful what you hear, that we didn't really have, that we weren't really nervous about any kind of exposure.

Speaker 2:

There just wasn't even really a thought about it you know until I met you, and then, like when we'd be watching a movie and like somebody's you know somebody's taking off their clothes or something, you would like really flip out and like turn it off and I'm like what is wrong with you? You know, like it was, it was really strange. It was a really strange thing for me that I had never thought about or or seen before.

Speaker 1:

You know, yeah, yeah, I mentioned this because I think that this is kind of an important part of your story, even though it's seems small. Right, that a lot of what you listened to, like you said, was very negative and we're going to talk about on this podcast about music and um, different sound waves and frequencies and things like that. We'll get there, so stay tuned if you're interested in that. But, um, there's actually someone awesome If you want to go check out her stuff Laura, dr Laura Sanger. She talks about this stuff and justa quick shout out.

Speaker 1:

But, yeah, you grew up listening to what you wanted to and watching what you wanted to and you kind of had free reign when it came to who you hung out with. You could hang out with anybody at any time. There weren't a lot of rules going on. And I only mentioned this to say and this isn't to throw you under the bus, because I hope that you're getting to this part of it too but you ended up being exposed to pornography pretty young, like many boys and like many parents listenings, children can be an R, and I just want to mention that because it is a part of your story and kind of set you on a path. I think that, like you were on with the music and looking at that stuff and you know, I I don't know, I don't know if you want to go into that a little bit more.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know what path I was on. Really Not a good one, not really any kind of path. Which really is is probably the definition of going astray Sure, sure when you're not on the path on the narrow path, but it sounds like you didn't really know about the path.

Speaker 1:

No, either, not really, not really it was kind of like well, here's some rules, but if you break the rules, just like, go say you're sorry, just go confess them and then you're good.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I guess you know I didn't really think about it, never really thought about it. You kind of hear things and I'm not. I don't blame anyone or anything for not knowing. It could have just been me not hearing or just la la la with, you know, I just just never really thought about it.

Speaker 1:

Well, let me throw this out there too, because I have also learned that a lot of Catholics and some Christians they don't actually think that there's anything wrong with pornography, and so the fact that that isn't even seen as something that is abominable by people around you, you know, it's not going to stop that from happening, because if it's considered normal, let's say in your community, then like you're not going to think anything of it. You know, cause you didn't know for many, many, many years anything of it, it was just totally normal.

Speaker 2:

It was just totally normal. It wasn't something that I would talk about or would let anybody know, but it's just like, what I'm doing behind closed doors doesn't really matter, you know, it's not, it's not hurting anybody else. Air quotes Um, you know, you just didn't, didn't think about it at all. And really the direct response to that and what I've learned in my study of lust and why it is wrong, the quote that comes to mind is it's somewhere in Matthew, and Christ says that if a man even looks at a woman in lust, he has already committed adultery in his heart. Woman in lust, he has already committed adultery in his heart. And so Christ directly tells us that thoughts of lust are sin. Right, like there. It's just you can't argue with it, it's just straight up. Yeah, it's pretty much as direct as as it can be. And if you don't agree with that or you don't accept, it's your own hardness of heart to not listen, because it came right from his mouth.

Speaker 2:

It's the red letters that are Christ's words. You know that, really, those. That always strikes me. I love reading the gospel and I get always strikes me. I love reading the gospel and I get the. It's really great that they highlight Christ's quotes in red. I feel a lot of gravity and weight to those words, like they're quoting him.

Speaker 1:

I remember one of the times maybe it was the first time that you read matthew and you were like crying, literally crying yeah and you said this is the most beautiful thing that I've ever read yeah and it really moved you and it really I think that that really did that's more in the last couple of years where it's really changed your heart and really like the lord has directly been speaking to you and you've sensed the Holy Spirit. And so I think we'll talk a little bit about the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 2:

But I finally got that it's about me, like I'm not a self-centered person, and what I've realized is that it's about me, it's about you, but for me, for my life, like he's looking for me too, he's looking for all of us. There's a I don't even remember where this came from. I know it's said in a couple of songs, but it really strikes me when I reflect on. He knows us by name, he calls us by name. There's no hiding from the Lord. Like there's no hiding. You can't hide, you can't think oh. Like he doesn't really care about me, you know, I can just go on.

Speaker 1:

He's not going to notice. Yeah, he's not going to notice. He's not going to notice. I'm just one person.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm just one person and like that. That's kind of how I felt. That's why I had nothing to say, because I'm just like I tend to be like, uh, you know, doesn't really matter about me, but that's not true, that's not true like we all matter. And he leaves the 99 to go after the one. You know, know I, I wasn't planning on saying that, but that's what just came into my heart to think about that. He leaves the 99 and celebrates to find the one. And he also didn't come for the perfect people. He came to save the broken. You know, he came for, he came for the ones who are suffering the most. Yeah, and that leads me into because I remember a particular day that we went to Black Rock Church in Connecticut.

Speaker 2:

And I remember I forget what song it is, but it's one of those songs that's like I was broken and like you came and lifted me up and you know. It basically was just like how broken I am and how I'm feeling bad and I remember thinking like I'm good. All these people really need this, to sing this song, like if they're hurting, are you broken and hurting within.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Are you overwhelmed by the weight of your sin? And I'm like no, I'm not. And like I couldn't have been more wrong, Like I didn't know, I didn't get it, I wasn't there yet. You know you weren't there yet, I wasn't there yet.

Speaker 1:

You know it's. I'm glad that you mentioned that, because in Mike and I's early years I'm glad that you mentioned that because in Mike and I's early years something that I had a really big struggle with was there were things that were very different about us in terms of like right and wrong. Like he said, if a movie came on and there was something that I didn't agree with, I was like we're turning this off, we're not doing this, and that was very, very shocking for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm like what is?

Speaker 1:

wrong with you. You did not understand this and that was very, very shocking for you. Yeah, I'm like what is wrong with you? You did not understand it and different things that came up, like the pornography thing. That came up early in our dating years too, and I felt that you didn't have any guilt or any shame and I was like why?

Speaker 2:

I didn't.

Speaker 1:

Why? Why does this man not feel guilt or shame? It was very strange to me and I think that that's something that over time, it's because you didn't Like you literally just I was comfortably numb, living in sin comfortably numb. You were like totally cool with it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, didn't even think twice. I'm having a good time. What do you mean, like? What do you mean that this is wrong?

Speaker 1:

Like the definition of living in the world. Yeah, totally, totally in it Running around.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thinking that I'm living it up, having a good time until things catch up with you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, that's. The interesting thing is you were living it up, having a good time, but at the same time, your relationships were not good, terrible, like your friendships, your actual romantic relationships everything was always falling apart.

Speaker 2:

Everything would crash and burn, and I was used to it.

Speaker 1:

And you were just used to it. You were just in this whirlwind of like trash.

Speaker 2:

It was just always on to the next thing because it was like, but I was leaving. I was leaving a wake of destruction in my path and I didn't realize that.

Speaker 1:

And then the difference is when you and I got together.

Speaker 2:

I just would not allow that, no you did not put up with my doo-doo at all and that's why I love you. That's why I married you. You were the one. You are the one for me. You are the one who set me straight, you are the one who held me to a higher standard, and I always knew all the conflict that we had and we had a lot.

Speaker 1:

We did.

Speaker 2:

It was not we did especially early on oh yeah we had a lot of conflict and what always kept me hanging on and coming back for more and trying to be better and do better and make it work was that I knew all the conflict we ever had. And make it work was that I knew all the conflict we ever had was you trying to hold me to a higher standard and make me a better person. I couldn't argue with you. You, I didn't like what you were trying to make me do, or stop doing, or how I should treat you or you know I didn't like it.

Speaker 2:

It made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't argue with you because you were right, oh.

Speaker 1:

You were right. Oh, this is on air. I like it. You were right. Yeah, this is like. This is set in stone now.

Speaker 2:

But I've told you this, you know this, you know this, you know this and I think it's important to note that that is what kept me going is that I realized that you were trying to make me better. You know, you were forging me in the fire a little bit, and that's exactly what I needed.

Speaker 1:

So it's interesting because, even though technically you were of a different faith in a way right, because you were Catholic, I could see your heart. I always could. I knew how loving you were and I knew that you loved God. I knew that you loved me had a lot of potential to overcome what. What I could see that you were going through Cause one of the things you guys may or may not know is Mike is a couple of years younger than me, and so a lot of what I could see in you was just that you just weren't there yet. You know you were maturing, you're trying to figure things out. Everybody makes mistakes and I was just so head over heels in love with you that I was like, all right, I guess I'm going to have to go through some stuff. And the thing that I knew that you needed more than anything was unconditional love and that, no matter what happened, I was always there, even when you broke up with me, which was a lot of times.

Speaker 2:

I know.

Speaker 1:

And I never once was like.

Speaker 2:

You never faltered.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

You never faltered once. You never went to your friends or family and complained about me. You were always on my side. You always put me first, and I can't thank you enough for that. You definitely did love me unconditionally, and there was never, there was never a time I feel that there was like really never a time where you were like all right, I guess this is it. Yeah, I'm going to move on. I'm going to do something else.

Speaker 2:

No not that I would break up with you a hundred times, but it would only last like a couple hours anyway that's true, you're always well, I knew I couldn't, it was just a break.

Speaker 2:

I just, I just needed a little break, yeah, but I appreciate that and I I really that went a long way and that taught me how to love you back too, because one of the things that I did that was wrong is like I would talk crap about a girl I was dating or something to another girl hey, you tried to do that to me too well, that's what I'm saying you show me?

Speaker 2:

that's not right, because you read all my text messages. Yeah, figure me out. Yeah, and that's just right, cause you read all my texts. Yeah, figure me out. Yeah, and that's just another skeleton that you were able to fix for me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so it's interesting because I was very much growing, going through my own kind of off the path when you and I met. I was very much off my own path too. So I don't want to like insinuate to anybody listening that I was like this good, perfect Christian girl. I had roots that were very positive in that I knew that what I saw and what I heard I needed to be cautious of, but I wasn't like perfect. I was running around with you. Of course I couldn't be. No, I, I'm just kidding and that I think, is something that's significant about this is that we you and I really grew together in our faith, which is great, because it could have gone together the other way, right it could have.

Speaker 1:

We could have made each other worse, but the Lord had bigger plans for us and you know, here we are tonight, like in our home, married, three children, one on the way, like you know, talking about what God has done in our lives, and it's funny to reflect back on these times because this seems like a lifetime ago.

Speaker 2:

It does. It was a lifetime ago.

Speaker 1:

This hasn't been our reality at any time recently.

Speaker 2:

No, it's such a long time away and things have truly changed so much for the better.

Speaker 1:

So tell me a little bit about you know we're talking we've been talking about. We went to BlackRock, we lived in Connecticut. Do you feel like seeds of things were starting to shift at that point, because that's about the time we got married also.

Speaker 2:

Maybe they were. You know your dad. I give him a lot of credit for always talking about the Bible and talking about his faith and sharing it with me. Your family's had a lot of positive influence on me, you know, and and your dad especially, and I think, of course, the seeds were starting to grow a little bit, and I think what, really, when things really started to shift were when we were looking to move out of Connecticut, because that's when I really started to pray and we would pray together for guidance and discernment, and that you know, his plan would be made known in our lives and that he would take us to where we were meant to be. And so that was the first time when we were preparing to move out of Connecticut. We didn't know where we were going to end up, we didn't know what we were going to do, but that was the first time that I was really like seeking him in my adult life. We also real guidance.

Speaker 1:

We also had done that marriage class together and I think that maybe that helped kind of kick things off a little bit.

Speaker 2:

That's true, that could have been something as well, um, but that was like the first real world experience. And I want to touch on really quickly the fact that in college I did go through a period of atheism, okay, where I was very much scientific. Everything is science and everything can be explained. Religion and you know, all the spiritual stuff is just hokey pokey and you know we've made up these stories to explain the world. And you know the indians used to think that the spirits, you know, did everything and they prayed for rain and did rain dances and all that.

Speaker 2:

There was a time when I went through that and I'm grateful for my philosophy teacher that I had there who taught metaphysics, and I did the philosophy of religion course with him.

Speaker 2:

That really showed me different philosophers and theologists throughout history who made scientific and logical arguments for how there must be a God, like there is no other way than for there not to be an intelligent creator.

Speaker 2:

And I'm very grateful for those conversations and and think debates that we had that I would take the other side and sometimes I didn't even believe the other side, but I wanted to press those debates and and I'm very grateful for those times. And then there were a few experiences that I had that showed me like, yeah, there definitely is a God, and like feel it in your heart and you know it, and so I'm, I'm really very grateful that that happened and it was a short period of time, um, but yeah, then it leads into us starting to really pray and seek his discernment. And then we moved down here and and things. You know, things were wonderful here and I think becoming a dad was probably another shift. That's really a God thing, where you see this wonderful blessing and you think about the miracle of life that it's just so incredible, it's, it's so magnificent.

Speaker 1:

You know that you can create life, our love-created life, but then were able to overcome through prayer and seeking the Lord and then had an awesome unassisted home birth, which definitely listen back to that episode. I think it's episode five, five and six, something like that. It's a good one, don't want to miss that. But I think one of the biggest defining moments that I want you to talk about and share and I think that this was probably the kind of like final turning moment where you really defined, or felt like you defined, your faith was the water guy. Yep, thank you. Faith was the water guy.

Speaker 2:

Yep. Thank you, Tony the water guy. Thank you, I appreciate you, Tony Bologna. That was a life-changing experience for me and that is what solidified my faith. That is what really lifted the veil on what our faith is about and what I truly believe and what I will stand for, because I had never. I've heard it over and over. You hear it at church all the time and you read about it, but I didn't get it until someone spoke the opposite in my home, and so I'll give the real short version story.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll give you the real short version of the story because to me Rebecca does a wonderful job telling stories and she remembers every detail and I'm very much black and white.

Speaker 2:

I boil it down to like what mattered. And so basically this guy comes into our home, we're looking for water softener systems and he, you know, we go through the presentation and we're ready to go and we signed the deal and he's like basically on his way out and he starts talking about how he did a lot of study into ancient religions and other gods and goddesses and all kinds of the afterlife and what happens after we die and all kinds of stuff. And then he tells us this story. He gets into this story about how he at one time was going to be a pastor and he didn't end up going that route because one day he was in church and he was praying and he heard this voice that told him to go home and to pray. And so he went in his closet and it was dark and he heard this voice tell him that did you read the Bible enough? Do you think you read the Bible enough? And he said, yes, have you listened to enough sermons?

Speaker 2:

And he's like yes, and the voice told him that we just need to be good, like don't worry about all this stuff, don't get bogged down in the Bible, and you just need to be good, like that's what this is all about. And Jesus didn't have to die for a reason. You know, jesus is my best friend, but he didn't have to die. Like, we just need to be good. And when he said that Jesus didn't have to die for a reason, it's like it was like it hit me gut punch, it sunk into my stomach, that it just did not sit right with me. And I was in such shock.

Speaker 2:

The guy was walking out the door Basically we were ushering him out and he's like finish, like this is us taking him out the door. And this is like finish, like this is us taking him out the door. And this is what he says. And I'm just in such utter shock that I was like nodding my head, like okay, guy, are you leaving yet? Yeah, and we closed the door and I just came and sat down at the counter and I was like in disbelief, like I could not believe it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're really upset, I was so struckief. Like I could not believe it.

Speaker 2:

I was so struck and you did not feel the same way Like you were probably just glad it was over and done with and you were on to.

Speaker 1:

I thought that this guy was going to be there. He first of all. He came out like five o'clock and he was here until seven and I was starving and we have kids. I just was waiting for this guy to leave. So he says all this, I'm like all right guy, go get out of here. And he gets out of here and Mike was bent out of shape, so bent out of shape.

Speaker 1:

See, I am so used to hearing people say ridiculous things that to me it was just kind of like wow, that guy was a little little little interesting. But then, as you really were struggling and as we talked more, I realized the significance that he was literally communicating with the demon. Like this demon came in and was speaking these words to him and that, to you, was what was significant. But I didn't see it at the time.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't even that it was. What struck me was that he spoke direct heresy. He said that Jesus did not have to die.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but he's my best friend.

Speaker 2:

But he's my best friend.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2:

So backwards that he said that, but that was what struck me and I just it changed my world, it changed my faith, because it made me realize what our faith is about. What the gospel is about. It is the good news that Christ came, became man. Our God became man to sacrifice his life for us, his life for us. He sent his only son to die on the cross for us to save us. He was the sacrificial lamb to save us from sin. And we are not perfect. We are all sinners and we are called that if we believe that he suffered and died for us and we accept him as our savior, that we will be reunited with him in heaven and live an everlasting life. That is what our faith is all about.

Speaker 2:

And so we had already signed the deal to do this water thing and, and just that night I just had this, this gut feeling like that was just so wrong, and so I called him first thing in the morning. I call him, didn't pick up on the first ring, called the company, canceled immediately, told them I need to postpone and they said when do you want to postpone? For I said never.

Speaker 2:

And I hung up and he showed up later that day. Yeah, he came to our door. Yeah, because he knew that something was up, obviously. Yeah, and he apologized for saying that and he was basically like you know. I'm sorry that I.

Speaker 1:

He knew, like you didn't say anything to him first, I said nothing and he I said nothing and he came out with it. He knew he's.

Speaker 2:

When he showed up at the door, I stepped outside with him cause he wasn't coming in my home again. I stepped outside and I was like, listen, tony, like I'm not doing this job. You didn't even look outside and tell me where this water is going to go. You're going to dump all this water in the side. And I gave him a hundred reasons why I'm not doing the job. You didn't even look outside and tell me where this water is going to go. You're going to dump all this water in the side. And I gave him a hundred reasons why I'm not doing the job. And he said listen, I want to apologize for what I said. So he knew because I realized that was probably I shared way too much and I really shouldn't have gone that far. And I said that far. And I said listen, tony, it's okay that you, you don't have to apologize to me, because you made me realize what I believe. You made me understand what this book is all about, that I read the Bible I'm grateful for you and just like you researched all these gods and goddesses and afterlife and all that stuff, then you should also know that our world is full of demons and you need to question what that voice was. Who was speaking to you? Because I don't think that was God. I think that was a demon speaking to you and you need to really question in your heart what you believe and cause. It's your soul that's on the line and not mine. And he, I hope, took that away and and maybe that planted a seed.

Speaker 2:

I'm not sure, but I I've always had it on my heart to reach back out to him, because this was such a pivotal moment in my faith journey. This was the moment that made me believe, like I believed in God, and I have heard all the stuff, but that moment is what made me realize and truly accept Christ as my Savior. That was the time. That was the moment. That was the time. That was the moment. That was the moment. That was the moment. Yeah, and then to really pull it all full circle and show how it truly was a God thing and to emphasize his plan.

Speaker 2:

The sermon that Sunday was about how we are saved by grace and grace alone, that no man may boast about his good works. It is not by our works, it is not by what we do that we are saved. We are saved by him and only if we accept him as our savior. That that is the whole point of the gospel of the good news is that he came for us, he died for us, and so that I just am so grateful for that series of events.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, definitely, so you can't buy. Uh, can't buy your way in.

Speaker 2:

You can't buy your way in. You can't confess your sins enough. If you repent and don't change, it's worth nothing. Your confession is worth nothing. Yeah, like he knows your heart, you're not gonna. You're not gonna act. Act good and get into heaven. Because you're like trying to check the boxes. You make your donations, you, you tie that church and you feed the hungry. That's not enough. Yeah, it's. You have to accept him as your savior first. Accept him as your savior first and then, because you're grateful for his grace, that's what makes you live a good life, that's what makes you a better person. You live how you are called because you realize all of these things.

Speaker 1:

Because the Holy Spirit comes inside of you and convicts you and finally gives you that guilt that I was really, really worried about. That's what I needed.

Speaker 2:

It was a little bit of guilt.

Speaker 1:

You needed a little bit of the Holy Spirit in there. But it's true, though, in going through these experiences and truly finding the Lord and accepting Him into you, is that you don't have those desires anymore. You don't desire to seek after the worldly pleasures in the way that you did so easily and nonchalantly in the past.

Speaker 2:

You realize it's empty. You also realize that it's empty the worldly pleasures especially. I wanted to mention how there are vices in the world. There are things that are trying to suck you in. The devil lies in wait to see who he can devour. There are dark forces looking to destroy you. The only the only desire of Satan is to take your soul away from God, to separate you from God, and there are, there are traps in the world that are made to take you off the path. You know, yep, and so that is something that I want people to be weary of.

Speaker 2:

And what I notice, what I thought of and and kind of what makes me think about these things and steering clear from these vices of the world, is if you've ever seen a fly trap, a sticky fly trap, and you look at these flies and they just get stuck. They just land on the thing and then they're stuck. Stuck. They just land on the thing and then they're stuck and they had no idea that they were about to get trapped.

Speaker 2:

And as humans, we think that we're so smart and we're smarter than every other animal and we're just can't fool me. I'm smart, I'm human, and what I think people don't always realize is that we may be smarter than flies, but there is a whole spiritual realm beyond our comprehension and imagination that we are not the highest beings. If you believe in God, you know you're not the top of the food chain. You're not even in the same environment. Yeah, we're living in the world like we're so far removed we're in, like this two-dimensional space compared to the spiritual realm and we are just like a moth to the flame for these vices of the world.

Speaker 2:

Pornography, addiction, drugs, alcohol there are so many things that just will destroy you slowly but surely, and so that's that's my warning. You know, like there, it's wonderful to talk about how Christ saves and how you know how we're called to live right, and when you accept him you start to live right. But with all that good, I think it's really important to know that there's a lot of bad out there too. There's a dichotomy in this world too Sure.

Speaker 1:

There's a dichotomy in this world. There are things that are going to pull you and can pull you off the path. Even when you have the Holy Spirit, even when you believe in God, you can get sucked into that stuff, which is why it is very important what you watch, what you see, what you listen to, the people you hang around, what you're exposed to. You know, I've been talking on this podcast about how things are demonic, like the media and what we see on social media, and I really do think that technology has been overtaken by the enemy and we can use it for good, like we are right now right, because we're using this to share the glory of God, but it also can be used for a lot of darkness, and it is.

Speaker 2:

And it is. It is used for darkness.

Speaker 1:

And it's using that discernment to understand when that's popping up, because only you are going to keep yourself accountable. And by opening those doorways and those strongholds, we allow that darkness to come in. And it's easy. It's an easy thing. These entities are just hanging around, lying in wait, lying in wait. So I would like to encourage, too, to be in prayer, because they don't like prayer and they don't like the name of Jesus and they don't like reciting scripture. So stay focused on those things. Now, a lot of times, you can have extra spiritual attacks when you're trying to talk about God and the word, which happens to me sometimes, but I'm very tough bird and I'm like no, you're not going to get to me, you're not going to end this podcast because you're going to scare other people from sharing their testimony. It's not going to happen.

Speaker 2:

That's right. Christ was given all authority over demons and all the evil. Demons were afraid of him, and he has given it to us as well. So we have nothing to fear.

Speaker 1:

Truly, we have nothing to fear, Yep definitely All right, anything that you want to end cap your testimony with. You want to talk a little about your baptism and what that was like.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'd love to mention that. So my baptism was a very special moment, part of a larger vacation that we got to take as a family. We had a wonderful time. We went down to Florida. We celebrated your mom's birthday 70th birthday that we got to take as a family. We had a wonderful time. We went down to Florida, we celebrated your mom's birthday 70th birthday and we got the whole family together, all the brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, and her brothers and sisters too yeah, my mom's. So that's my whole family.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was a wonderful, wonderful time that we got to share all together, spend a few days there having fun out on the beach and enjoying ourselves, and I got baptized in this little pool at the beach house.

Speaker 1:

You were going to do the ocean, but there was a hard riptide and we didn't want everyone to drown.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it didn't work out in the ocean, but it doesn't really matter. I got my full dunk. So it didn't work out in the ocean, but it doesn't really matter, I got my full dunk. Your dad baptized me, which was a very special moment for me and I'm sure for him too, you know, it was really great, and we got to do that in front of a couple of the older nieces and nephews too, and then I think one or two have been baptized since, which is really special.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they have.

Speaker 2:

So I really yeah, it was a wonderful moment. It was a long time coming and I think that it really it happened at the right time. It happened when it was supposed to happen because it was after this pivotal experience that I had. It was after I really could understand and believe and know what I was trying to do and accept into my life, and so I'm just really grateful that we did it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, cool, yeah, anything that you want to leave listeners with. I know you just gave a pretty good cautionary uh tale to them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, I think that's really important is to be be weary of the world and to be weary of weary or leery.

Speaker 2:

I said weary, leery too, but I said maybe weary is not the right word because weary is like tired, right, yeah, so you want to be leery of things, of the world and the vices that we know are vices smoking, drinking, drugs, pornography these things are literally trying to destroy you and they physically and mentally and spiritually damage us. They really do damage. They do real damage. You can lose control when you lose impulse control and you lose control of yourself when you are doing things that you don't necessarily want to do. That's when you realize it too.

Speaker 2:

When you do something that you don't think that you realize you shouldn't be doing, like it becomes addiction. You know, I think anyone who's ever gone through addiction or seen addiction would understand that. And it's a slippery slope, you know like you don't want to get involved, you don't, you can't, you can't just like, do a little bit and think you're in control, because it's not, it's. You have no place for it in your life. And the the metaphor that I've heard is I'm not sure if this is biblical, but it's a quote that I really appreciate and try to remember and take to heart Is that a man does not clear space in his garden for weeds. You don't leave any space in your garden for weeds. You have to clear the weeds. You don't allow the weeds to flourish.

Speaker 1:

Is that a Jordan Peterson quote? That's what it sounds like. I'm not sure.

Speaker 2:

I'm not sure, but I've heard it before and. I'm sure a quick Google will give a good answer. But yeah, I think that's probably what I want to leave off with.

Speaker 1:

Okay, well, thank you for coming on and sharing your testimony. This has been great.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. It's. This was really. This was really fun. It was really cool. I never really thought this much about my faith.

Speaker 2:

I never really thought that I'd talk this much about my faith outside of yeah, I'm squinting, trying to see how long it was you know, sometimes, you know, we all think, oh, I'm not a preacher and I'm not a preacher, but that doesn't mean that we're not called to share our faith, because at the end of the gospel we are called, we are given a great commission to share our faith. That's right, and so hopefully this is a good first step for me to do that. Amen.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, awesome, thank you, yeah Awesome, thank you for being here.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

And thank you all for listening and for joining us on this journey. If you want to follow along outside the podcast, you can do so on YouTube and Facebook and Instagram at the Radiant Mission and today Mike is going to close us with a Bible verse, so go for it.

Speaker 2:

So this Bible verse is from my favorite chapter of the gospel. It's Matthew, chapter 7, and I'm going to read verse 13 and 14. Enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is easy. That leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

Speaker 1:

For the gate is narrow and the way is hard. That leads to life, Amen. We're wishing you a radiant week and we'll see you next time. Bye everyone, Good job.

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