[00:00:00] Dr. Nate Salah
Hello, my friend, and welcome to this episode of A Call to Leadership. I'm Dr. Nate Salah, your host. I am blessed and thrilled that you're here with me today as we continue to uncover a multi-part series on leadership that truly manifests massive impact, massive influence through love of all things. Leaders who love with the characteristics and the attributes and the virtues of the first Corinthians 13, four through eight verses on love will find themselves in a much more effective, fulfilling and truly rewarding state of leadership. So, I invite you to continue this journey with me. We've uncovered many of the different aspects all the way starting in episode 201 about patience, kindness, not envying, boasting, not being proud or arrogant, not.
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Being rude, not being self-seeking or easily angered, not holding record of wrongs, not delighting in evil, but rejoicing with the truth in leadership that protects. And now, we are on the next installment, Leaders or Love Always Trusts. And this is probably going to throw a red, just a red light up. Because you might say, Nate, you can't always trust. Because there are people in the world We're not trustworthy. We're not worthy of my trust. I will get burned You will get burned because it just doesn't exist. Okay, I agree with you There are people in the world who are not trustworthy and I agree that you will And can be burned. I grew up on the west side of Chicago.
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Let me tell you, I have been burned because I trusted in such a naive way that I was taken advantage of. Many times over. I mean, I remember even, this wasn't in Chicago, this was in St. Louis. I remember this fine gentleman on a corner was selling gold chains back in the 1980s. And he said, Hey, I've got a gold chain just for that neck of yours. I said, what? My neck? He said, yes. I've got, it's 30 for the gold chain and it's yours. I said, really? He said, I'll tell you what, I'll give you two for 40. Man, what a deal. A gold chain I couldn't get for that cheap. What'd I do? I gave him 40 bucks. Now, 40 bucks back in the 80s when you were 17 years old, it's a lot of money.
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Especially working for 3. 35 an hour, showbiz pizza place. Well, guess what happened? Well, it didn't take more than a few weeks and my neck started turning green. We're on where that chain was. Apparently, it wasn't solid gold. So the reaction I had of God knows what it was that chain was made out of started tarnishing my neck. And guess what? I saw that guy again on the same corner and I said, Hey man, you sold me some gold chains that aren't even gold. He said, Oh man, I got to get that guy who sold them to me. I got beat. Like mmm, yeah, you got beat. Look friend, I get it. It is not easy when you're on the street or wherever you are to trust everyone. And I don't think that is what the true meaning of trusting is. I think the secret to trusting is creating boundaries Systems, processes that identify where this trust can lie because there are varying degrees of trust when I trust someone else. And I think it doesn't start with other people though. I don't think trust starts with everyone else.
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I think trust starts with our own lives. You know, the dollar bill, what does it say? In God we trust. At least I think that's what it says. You know, maybe you've been burned in a business deal. And you had a partner who perhaps didn't have the same expectations, the same drive, the same virtues and scruples as you, and you were taking advantage of, well, I know that that's an issue that happens and it may have happened to you. I know people that's happened to, and the question isn't, I think sometimes like, Oh my goodness, I got taken advantage of, did I set up the right structure and boundary so that. We could create a system that we could both live within those boundaries of trust. In other words, did I get an operating agreement?
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Did I get an agreement that said, these are the rules? In fact, back to my, In God We Trust, here's my philosophy on agreements. Trust in God, everybody else, get it in writing. You see, when we get things in writing, we identify what is acceptable, what's unacceptable, what's permitted, what's prohibited. And then you say, well Nate, what if somebody breaches a contract? Well, that's what the courts are for, for justice. In some cases, you might say, Well, Nate, that just doesn't work. Well, let's go back. Let's go back a couple of steps. When you are in a business or in a family, you know, what is the focus? How do you identify whether someone can be trusted? I think it starts with the very foundation of trust.
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And I love the way Mr. Stephen Covey put it in his philosophy of trustworthiness. He said the pillars of trust stand on two foundational virtues. One of them, one is character, having good moral fiber, ethics, a strong virtue of integrity. And the other is competence. And that is having the wherewithal to do the kind of work that you ascribe to having an ability in. And so he uses the ideology or the focus on a doctor, for example. You say a doctor, you might have an issue. And you go to one doctor who has lots of competence, he's board certified, he has lots of experience, performed many, many surgeries, and this doctor, however, has no character. In other words, is willing to manipulate the situation to that person's own values.
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And he tells you you need a surgery that perhaps you don't need at all because it's a big payoff for him. He doesn't care about you. He only cares about his pocket. Do you trust that doctor? Of course, you don't. On the other hand, you might have another doctor. She is massively, has massive character, wants to do the right thing for you, is honest. But perhaps she has no idea of the newest techniques. She's living 30 years ago and she is utilizing some very old methodologies for surgery and there's much newer techniques. There's newer equipment. And do you trust that doctor? You say, well, you know what? No, I want a doctor who has both competence and character. Those are foundational when we are seeking out. Whether or not we are going to trust and I believe that we can utilize this Philosophy when we're making decisions about how and when to trust and also by the way how we are to be Trustworthy if you are making promises, you can't keep if I'm making promises I don't keep that's an issue with my character if I say I can get the job done and I can't that's an issue with my competence My trustworthiness decreases with that people don't have an assurance that I can get the work done.
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And if my character is lacking, then you will have less of a promise in me that I will be able to fulfill that. My son and I were in California and we were sightseeing in Los Angeles. And there was the big Hollywood sign, and we were parked, we wanted to get to the sign so we could take our famous picture. But we couldn't quite get there because there was a warning that there was fine for trespassing into a certain space if we were to go over there. And my son's like, Dad, we need to get up there. I said, Son, we can't. It's unlawful. And we had this big conversation about ethics. End. Integrity. Nobody would know.
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No big deal. So we know. And it was a great life lesson at the moment. Because the conversation went like this, Well, somebody else, who we know, would go up there with me. They would not care about that. I said, yeah, okay. But when the cards are down, and you need someone you can trust to do the right thing for the right reasons, who are you going to count on? Are you going to count on the other person? Well, no. You're going to count on the person who will be undivided in a moment when they are, have an opportunity to compromise their integrity because in the moment there's a benefit for them, that they're willing to sacrifice their own character. No, you want the person who has massive levels of character because that's the person that you can trust alongside of the competence that they can get.
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The work done. Now we've got to be that person, friend. We've got to begin to develop that trustworthiness. And if we don't, today is the day. I'm not saying that everyone is 100 percent trustworthy. I'm not 100 percent trustworthy. Sometimes I drop the ball and that's where grace comes in. But at the same time, it's not necessarily that we are trying to be deceptive. Sometimes we just miss it. We make a mistake. It happens. We're humans. But what do we do when we make a mistake? We own it and then we correct it. You know, every so often, uh, maybe a breach of trust happens in life that we regret. Best thing to do in that moment is to make amends. In fact, I was just talking to my wife the other night and, uh, we were talking about our son and we haven't having some difficulty.
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I said something I shouldn't have said. And she encouraged me to just apologize and state, Hey, I made a mistake. When you make a mistake, take ownership and then work toward making it right. Rebuild that trust, rebuild by doing the right thing. It is so incredibly resonant when we walk in humility and say, man, I blew it, but here's what I'm going to do. I'm not, but, and here's what I'm going to do. Then take the steps. If you're late, explain why you're late, what mistakes you made, and then make it right to not be late next time. If you're in a business, I'm in a business. How? Do I trust others? How do I walk in trust? I start With my values, do you share the values? You've heard me talk about it on this program. If you've been on the show, listening, values are principles. They're non-negotiable. If you can't express your core values, your three to seven principles, then you can't create an organization that's built on trust, but you must then create processes and systems that are within those guidelines of those values, lead people to achieve the mission and.
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The vision. It's been said that people don't fail, processes do. If you create a system, a set of processes that is duplicatable, that people can follow, and you bring the kind of people on with massive character, massive competence, you'll find that not only that they become trustworthy, but they will identify challenges and problems you did not know you had. You can count on them. They will have your back. In fact, I was just having a conversation with one of my team members and I had a client who had a challenge where the, some documentation had been said, the documentation didn't get received. And I didn't recall if, and when the documentation got received, this team member pulled up the documentation from an email many, many months ago.
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And sent it to me and said, here is the documentation that was sent to the client. And I would have never been able to track that. In fact, I was going to give the client a refund because I thought, Oh my goodness, it was, must've been our fault, but it wasn't our fault. And that level of trust that our team member has my back is built on the vision, the mission, the values, and Built on the ability to say, Hey, I trust you to help lead in these challenging areas. Are we doing that? Are we giving permission for our team members, whether they be at home, whether they be at the office to work together and develop the process and the systems that lead us to achieve together. So the phrase trust the process, that's not just a cliche, but create the process and then trust the process.
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It's so important in your leadership journey. What if you're in a situation to where there's been a family member and there's been a betrayal or there's been some kind of an issue that you can't trust that individual. You can't seem to find the best in every person. Look, I understand it's happened to me and this goes back to having the discernment to sometimes set healthy boundaries that say, here are the layers and levels of trust. I cannot trust in this area because you've not demonstrated trustworthiness in this area because your competence and character do not line up with what's necessary. But here's an area I can't trust you. Perhaps there is a family member and you have to keep relationships at a distance because of that.
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That's the way things are. In fact, that happens so often family. I'm going to go out on a limb and say just because someone is family doesn't mean that I have to give them special rights and privileges, especially when it comes to compromising your safety and your peace. You've heard me talk about this on the show. If you've listened just because you're related. It makes no difference. They say blood is thicker than water. Look, that doesn't give anyone permission to take advantage of you, and for you to let them to take advantage of you, and take advantage of you in such a way that breaks and breaches that trust. Don't do it. It's okay. You can give a person just as much trust as you will allow based on the behavior. The beliefs, the impact that it has in your life. Sometimes we don't give ourselves permission for that. I think it's important to recognize that because we have an obligation, first and foremost, to make sure that we are standing up for what our values are.
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And if someone doesn't share in those values, then perhaps that relationship is not in the best place, is the best fit at that moment. The easy example oftentimes is politics. You say, well, this politician made all these promises and they didn't fulfill any of them. Well, maybe they were not trustworthy. Or maybe, on the other hand, perhaps there were some they couldn't fulfill. Based on a number of factors that are unknown. This is what we're talking about, believing the best in people. Perhaps that politician is not trustworthy anymore, and you've got to vote for someone else. Hey, that happens. But it always comes back to your values, your beliefs.
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And so, it's election cycle now, here in the United States. I always tell people this, when they're asking who they should vote for. Number one, does the person Who you're voting for know where they're going. And number two, is it somewhere you want to go? Hey, sometimes they don't have a pathway directly there, but those are two important things. And that's a matter of trust back to the competence and character. Do they have both pieces in line? If the answer is no, you may want to question whether or not you can trust them. Same thing with a business. Same thing with, if you go to a restaurant, can you trust the quality of the food? Can you trust the quality of the service?
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The same thing happens when your business is the one who is under Scrutiny. My business. I want to make sure people can trust the experience that it is worthy. That it honors them and the mission. That means that I strive to have consistency with every touchpoint in the relationship. Whether a client is speaking with me or any member of my team that, that is consistently excellent in the experience. So if I am giving them An amazing experience. I have to create an environment where every one of my team members also does the same and vice versa. Perhaps one of my team members has elevated the bar. And I'm not doing that. I have team members who just kill it with the level of communication and follow-through.
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And so that raises the bar across the board because then everyone else has to raise that up. And so to be able to do that again, that's. It's back to the trustworthiness in the expectation in the process and the system so that we institute new process, new systems that magnify and exemplify that so that we could all rise together. What happens with a rising tide? All ships rise together in a family. Maybe there's been broken trust. Maybe I had an expectation of a family member and I lashed out and perhaps it was unfounded. And perhaps I then had to apologize and explain the situation. Look, there's always an opportunity to make it right. You say, Nate, you don't know my situation. It's too late to make it right. Maybe, just maybe you can't make it right with that person because there's been a betrayal of trust, but you can make it right with yourself and with God. You can take steps, become more trustworthy. When I was young, I made all kinds of mistakes.
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I was not the most trustworthy person. No. I wasn't a great friend. I had a friend who was in the hospital and my friend needed me there. I was too busy building my business. I didn't show up. Oh gosh. I had low empathy. Over time, my understanding changed. I began to learn empathy from my faith journey and I changed. And when someone was ill and I knew they were ill, I messaged them. I called them. I visited them in the hospital, prayed for them. change. I may never get to make that right with that friend so many years ago, but I've been able to make it right time and time again over for those who I have had the opportunity to build trust with.
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You can do that. If you're on the receiving end of that, receive. The same level of trust based on seeing the best in people. I do my best to see the best in people. What does that mean? It means refraining from judging without all the facts. I rarely have all the facts. You know, if somebody is lashing out at me, I don't know what happened that day. Yeah. Granted you say, Nate, you shouldn't take that. Well, honestly, I don't mind oftentimes because somebody's just maybe in a bad place. That doesn't mean I won't allow my security, my safety to be compromised, but if I'm in a store and maybe somebody said something kind of snide, I think, ah, either you've had a bad day.
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Maybe you haven't been taught. I used to do that kind of stuff. I just want to give grace. I want to give unmerited favor and trust that I am in a place where I'm spiritually and emotionally and mentally mature enough to where I don't feel threatened by someone else's challenges they're experiencing in their own lives. That's their problem, not mine. If somebody says something about me, that's your problem. I'm not gonna take offense to it. If you don't like the way I look, you don't like the way I sound, you don't like what I drive, you don't like any of that. That's your problem. Look, I got my life; you got yours. And that's, I think, a way to trust that you won't be shaken by this world's ways.
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I mean, think about it. We live in such a negative, judgmental world. We live in a world where people are being canceled just because they have a difference of opinion. We live in a world where people are being bullied because they perhaps don't look the same as someone else or talk the same. Or go along in the same way as someone else. We live in a world where people have massive levels of anger and hatred for one another. We cannot live in that state and progress. Someone has to take a first step. Someone has to let an olive branch of peace out of their hands. And show that there is a better world. Way, that can be me, that can be you.
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This is what we're talking about. Seeing the best in others, entrusting the possibility for progress, for opportunity, for optimism in the light when pessimism in the dark is sometimes All someone can see. My friend, trust in one another when we can find a way together to reach higher, to reach further, to reach deeper along this journey we call life. Well, my friend, we did it. I'm so honored you were able to join me on this episode of A Call to Leadership. Now. This might not be for everyone because you really have to be in a certain place in order to take the kind of steps to level up your leadership. And I want you to be taking steps. And for those of you who feel like you're ready for something like this, there's a place you can go.
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You can go to our website, greatsummit.com. I'll make sure that's in the show notes. But here's the cool thing that we have. We've got a master class. We have all different kinds of events. We even have our leadership club where you can meet other people just like you. Like you to go deeper in your leadership journey. You and I all get to spend some time together and really focus on aiming for greatness. I can't wait to see you there. I'm Dr. Nate Salah, and this is A Call to Leadership.