Don't let the monkey mind take over your goals

The circus is in town because we're talking about the monkey mind on this episode of ThrivTalk. The monkey mind comes from Buddhist teachings. Jenn breaks down what the monkey mind is and the ways it can cause all kinds of trouble not only for your business, but your personal life, too. What goals are you avoiding achieving because there's a monkey flinging poo all over it? It's time to name your monkeys and stop them from taking control. 

 

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Transcript

Samantha Morgan:

We are over the hump, on the other side, episode six.

Jenn:

Yay.

Samantha Morgan:

Holy crackers. We did it.

Jenn:

We did.

Samantha Morgan:

I'm very excited. And I'm really excited about this one, because earlier today you said a thing to me, and I'm going to make you describe it. But first, I'm going to say who I am. I am Samantha Morgan, podcast producer/...

Jenn:

My ringleader. And it makes a lot of sense about what we're going to talk about today.

Samantha Morgan:

Okay. Yeah. She said that that's your monkey mind talking. And I was like, "What is a monkey mind? Wait. Don't tell me. Tell me when we do the podcast."

So here we are, doing the podcast. Please explain what is the monkey mind? I have a kind of idea.

Jenn:

Right.

Samantha Morgan:

But I'm not sure if it's the right idea, because there's a lot of poo flinging in my head right now.

Jenn:

That's exactly what it is.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh, okay.

Jenn:

Poo flinging.

Samantha Morgan:

There we go.

Jenn:

We all have it. It's those doubts, fears, distractions, just the-

Samantha Morgan:

Oh, okay.

Jenn:

Everything that is telling yourself, "Don't expand. Don't do something new and different. We're safe. We're comfortable here. Yeah, it might suck, but we know the suck."

Samantha Morgan:

Oh.

Jenn:

"We understand the suck. This is the suck. We know how to get through this kind of suck."

But that's not how, as an entrepreneur, freelance, or even if you are a leader, a thought leader, anybody who is putting themselves out there and is dependent on their growth and evolution to evolve and to create a life of purpose for themselves.

Samantha Morgan:

Okay.

Jenn:

You can't stay there. You can't stay in one place. You have to do something different. So the monkey mind, and I have an entire course in the lean in exercises that are for free on the website, is all about acknowledging them, because those monkeys are not going anywhere.

Samantha Morgan:

Nope.

Jenn:

It is a three ring circus up in my head most days. Sometimes, I need external help, and that's why I called you the ringleader today. You were very good at-

Samantha Morgan:

Okay. Fair.

Jenn:

... at grounding and keeping everything organized for me. I lean in. I crutch on you on that, and I'm very grateful for it.

Samantha Morgan:

Aw.

Jenn:

It's [inaudible 00:02:17].

Samantha Morgan:

That's makes a girl feel good.

Jenn:

As it should. As it should, because we all have our own different talents. Especially as somebody who's becoming a solopreneur, freelance, an entrepreneur, we think we have to be all the people and all the things and all the hats.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And we really get stuck on the things that, like we talked about last episode...

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

... that distress us and we feel like a failure because we don't like it or we didn't do it successfully or we got criticized for it.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

This whole idea and concept behind the monkey mind is, again, acknowledging it's these thoughts in our head that are trying to keep us in a comfort zone, even though we might not like where we are or we want to do something different and wish we were in a different space.

Samantha Morgan:

Mm-hmm.

Jenn:

That's what they're doing. They're just trying to keep you safe.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

I have this little dialogue and conversation where I have said to my monkeys, "Hold up. I'm putting you in my back pocket. You're not allowed to have a conversation here."

Samantha Morgan:

I'm going to have to name my monkey.

Jenn:

You totally... That's one of the best things.

I have an awesome brand. I've known her for years. She owned a jewelry store, very successful jewelry store, and she's just a beautiful person to connect and collaborate with on evolving ideas.

Samantha Morgan:

Mm-hmm.

Jenn:

And she has...

Samantha Morgan:

A name for her monkey?

Jenn:

Yeah. But for her, it's in the closet. She'll put her in the closet. I can't remember the name, but I'm like, "My whole idea behind moving through your own way of doing things, moving through to your success is about finding the systems and the ways it works for you." So-

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

She's got to put Dolores or some... It's some-

Samantha Morgan:

Whatever it is.

Jenn:

... beautiful 1890s name.

Samantha Morgan:

Got you.

Jenn:

In the closet and put her in there, because it's very valuable for us to acknowledge them and to name them, name our fears, name these distractions. Give them acknowledgement and intentionally say, "Sorry. I see what you're trying to do, and I'm grateful for that. I'm a different person."

The one thing I love about inspiration to change, inspiration to move into a different level, leveling up your skill, your craft, your business is that the old ways that we're working are no longer working.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh.

Jenn:

So you have to show up and figure out what it is that is-

Samantha Morgan:

Grow.

Jenn:

Grow, right?

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And so when we're pushed to do that, that's when those monkeys start really getting crazy.

Samantha Morgan:

I was about to say, the monkeys then grow and you got to get them a bigger cage.

Jenn:

You got to get them a bigger cage, or you've got to establish that, "We're going to be okay."

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

You've grown. You grow as a person. You want to expand as a person. These monkeys are like, "Ooh, that's too scary for me," which is really us being like, "Are we valuable enough? Do we have what it takes?"

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

These are the words. These are the questions. Some other good questions that are indicators is, "I'm too busy at a job to create more. I need to do blank first before I can do..." That's another one.

Samantha Morgan:

That's a big one.

Jenn:

That is a big one.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

"I need money to get started."

Samantha Morgan:

Mm-hmm.

Jenn:

That's a harsh one.

Samantha Morgan:

That's another big one.

Jenn:

Because it's so in reality.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And it's a difficult one, because it keeps you locked into the comfort zone. If you can find other solutions, do other things between supplemental income or just taking a job that maybe is along the same lines and acknowledging that, "This money is for...," and giving it a purpose, then you can start moving through that, "I need money to, in order to."

Samantha Morgan:

Right.

Jenn:

Or, "I'll get to it tomorrow."

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

Or, "It's something I got to do this weekend, because I'm just too busy."

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

You have to make time. You have to.

Samantha Morgan:

One of the things that I did pretty instantly when I started trying to go down this path myself was to open up a business account and to separate that money, to have it physically separated from all of my other money. So that way, not just necessarily that I had money for the business, but also so that I could have a visual reminder of, "This is what the business is doing. This is what it's pulling in," because otherwise you tend to not even realize how much money you're making.

Jenn:

No.

Samantha Morgan:

You know?

Jenn:

You have to give value to that.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

You have to acknowledge it. A lot of what I do and a lot of my success didn't really come into my light until I was intentionally acknowledging the success.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

We talked a lot about that in the last episode.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

Acknowledging when you feel elated, acknowledging when you feel distressed so that you can discern what it is that you really want to do and need to do and can do.

Samantha Morgan:

Right. Yeah, totally.

Jenn:

Yeah. So a couple of other things is social media distraction.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh.

Jenn:

That's a huge monkey.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

It's a huge monkey for us. And sometimes, you need to detach.

Samantha Morgan:

That's a gorilla. Just saying. That might be a gorilla

Jenn:

Or also another one, it's not a big one for me, but I see it in a lot of people is they're very content with their life.

Samantha Morgan:

Comfortable.

Jenn:

Comfortable.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And-

Samantha Morgan:

C'est moi.

Jenn:

Yeah. And just there's so much more out there for you.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And it's there.

Samantha Morgan:

Right.

Jenn:

Even the smallest bit of inspiration or instinct to evolve and grow, do something different is this little spark that we can so easily, if we're willing to be attentive, acknowledge and do the thing differently.

Samantha Morgan:

Do the thing.

Jenn:

Do the thing differently that can just pour gasoline on it-

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

... and just ignite. A really good example of this and not letting my monkeys take over is The Front Porch Project.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh, okay. Explain.

Jenn:

So I was diving deep into The Front Porch Project. Our-

Samantha Morgan:

First explain what Front Porch Project is.

Jenn:

Thank you. I'm so sorry. I just assume everybody knows, because it's so big a part of my life.

Samantha Morgan:

Everybody know. Yeah, it's true.

Jenn:

In 2020, I received an idea of this photographer doing pictures on the front porch, social distancing, because this was right when the pandemic had started, and paying it forward to local charities.

Well, I brought that idea to Baton Rouge, called it the Front Porch Project, and instead of... And I know, right? Just a quick thing. You guys can't see it right now, but she and I are wearing matching sweatshirts. Thank you, Spark Paws.

Samantha Morgan:

And it's too adorable.

Jenn:

So go to YouTube. You might be able to see it.

Samantha Morgan:

There you go.

Jenn:

So the Porch Project started because of the pandemic, and it was an outlet for me to be creative when I thought that my business was going to basically-

Samantha Morgan:

Fold?

Jenn:

... shut down.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

Fold, shut down. I had no idea. The monkeys, that three ring circus.

Samantha Morgan:

(singing).

Jenn:

I was all three rings.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jenn:

All three rings. Right? Oh, that's great, man.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

When the project fell into my lap, I definitely decided that this was made for me.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

I pretty much told the monkeys, "Sorry. Y'all have got to leave, because this project, I am made for."

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And basically, everything, every process, every experience, everything I did in my career came together and exploded into one project, the processes I made, the team that I had cultivated, the joy that I felt taking pictures efficiently and quickly, allowing me to get to a bunch of houses.

And then the biggest part of the whole project was I was asking people to pay it forward to local businesses.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

So I was advocating for shop local, buy local, support our local economy, something I have been a big advocate for. And now, when we needed it most to sustain our economic stability, it's how important that was to keep the money circulating in our economic...

Samantha Morgan:

Tell people how much money you helped circulate, by the way, because this is a big thing.

Jenn:

I know, right? With me and about 40 other photographers that joined on, because the other part of this project was I was able to mentor and give my system to other photographers so they could go-

Samantha Morgan:

Is that maybe cultivating?

Jenn:

It's cultivating. That creative cultivator in me just shined-

Samantha Morgan:

Oh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jenn:

... bright like a diamond. Between all of us, we photographed 4,000 portraits and raised 1.28 million dollars.

Samantha Morgan:

Wow.

Jenn:

It was so amazing. Even just talking about, talk about elation, talk about serving purpose. No. It was the thing that catapulted me back into starting the Thrive.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

[inaudible 00:11:01].

Samantha Morgan:

That's why we're here today.

Jenn:

That is why we're here today.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

And I do have, Sam, I do have you to thank in really honing in and helping me develop that, bringing that concept back.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

I couldn't have found a better fit for me. And I got to admit that after the Porch Project happened and the four months was done, I actually did 900 portraits myself in four months.

Samantha Morgan:

Jesus.

Jenn:

Which was more portraits than I did in nine years.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh, wow.

Jenn:

I had the monkey mind going on. I had it deep.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah.

Jenn:

I was in a pity party...

Samantha Morgan:

Oh.

Jenn:

... sitting on my bed like, "How am I going to generate income because of this pandemic?"

Samantha Morgan:

Right.

Jenn:

And then I started thinking about all the business owners and my colleagues and other photographers. It's like our livelihood is connecting and meeting up with people face to face in public.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jenn:

So the Porch Project and doing that really saved my sanity. It brought together a community.

Samantha Morgan:

I giggle because I'm thinking it helped you thrive without a knee.

Jenn:

But it works. It works.

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jenn:

The idea behind stepping aside and allowing those monkeys in your mind to be a part of the process, because I'll tell you, if I didn't have the doubt, if I didn't have the frustration or contrast throughout my career, I wouldn't have developed those systems that I used. I wouldn't have cultivated and known what type of team that I work best with.

Samantha Morgan:

Right.

Jenn:

It definitely gave me so much more of what I wanted, because I understood where I was safe, where I needed to expand, and what I needed to do to evolve.

Samantha Morgan:

Totally.

Jenn:

And in the Buddhist teachings, he describe a human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, and carrying on endlessly, all clamoring for attention. Fear is the especially loud monkey, sounding alarm, pointing out all the things that we should be cautious of in life, and making us well aware of everything that could go wrong.

Buddha teachings are to meditate, to quiet the mind, and not fight the monkey, and trying to banish them, instinctively teaching that what you resist will persist. And can we just say that again? What you resist will persist.

Samantha Morgan:

Ugh.

Jenn:

Right? And give yourself permission to take baby steps. If you feel super anxiety, super fear, whatever, by going into a vision, give yourself permission to step back a few and say, "What is the smallest thing that I could do to move forward?" And then the next time, the next step, "What is the next smaller thing?"

And I'm going to tell you, because I did it, the steps get bigger. And then before you know it, you're beyond what you'd originally visioned into something way better, because one of my emotional teachers used to tell me, and I love it, always say, "It's not where I thought I was going, but it's so much better."

Samantha Morgan:

Mm.

Jenn:

I know, right?

Samantha Morgan:

Mm.

Jenn:

She is-

Samantha Morgan:

And scene.

Jenn:

I know. We might as well just end it there.

Samantha Morgan:

End it there.

Jenn:

What you resist will persist.

Samantha Morgan:

Yes.

Jenn:

And it's not where I thought you were going, but it's so much better.

Samantha Morgan:

Love it. Ugh, Jenn, I appreciate this conversation. I'm glad I held off and waited to do it on audio be-

Jenn:

It's so much more organic and raw and real and...

Samantha Morgan:

Yeah. I don't think I could have absorbed that as well any other way. So, all right, Jenn. Well, let's get out of here. Anything you want to end us with?

Jenn:

Can I just tell you how much I love my life?

Samantha Morgan:

She says it about 17 times a day, people.

Jenn:

Oh, man. And more in my head. And maybe it was my defense against the monkeys.

Samantha Morgan:

Oh. Take that, monkeys. All right. All right. Well, we'll see you again next time. Until then, do something cool and name your monkeys.

Jenn:

Peace, people.