The moment Jessi Lynn started sharing her pregnancy journey with me, Dom L'Amour, I knew it was a story that would resonate with so many. Her transition into motherhood brings a fresh perspective on the smooth sailings and storms of pregnancy, the building anticipation of parenting, and the life shifts awaiting her and Paul. Our conversation weaves through these deeply personal experiences with laughter and raw emotion, capturing the essence of growth and love that blooms from such a transformative life event.
Embarking on a trip down memory lane, Jessi Lynn and I celebrate the significance of genuine friendships that have withstood the test of life's milestones. From selecting a child's name imbued with cultural richness to understanding the value of community in child-rearing, we unravel the threads that connect us all. These stories of empowerment, solo travel adventures, and the joys of discovery help paint a vivid picture of the independence and worldviews that have shaped us—and the legacy we hope to pass on.
As we discuss the complexity of relationships and love, Jessi Lynn delves into her past, revealing how therapy and the example of healthy partnerships allowed her to navigate her fears and embrace a profound connection with Paul. Wrapping up the episode, we invite our audience to join in this celebration of friendships that morph into family ties and share in the gratitude that this podcast platform has fostered. Tune in for a session brimming with heartfelt dialogue, and let's connect through the shared experiences that unite us all on The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast.
The moment Jessi Lynn started sharing her pregnancy journey with me, Dom L'Amour, I knew it was a story that would resonate with so many. Her transition into motherhood brings a fresh perspective on the smooth sailings and storms of pregnancy, the building anticipation of parenting, and the life shifts awaiting her and Paul. Our conversation weaves through these deeply personal experiences with laughter and raw emotion, capturing the essence of growth and love that blooms from such a transformative life event.
Embarking on a trip down memory lane, Jessi Lynn and I celebrate the significance of genuine friendships that have withstood the test of life's milestones. From selecting a child's name imbued with cultural richness to understanding the value of community in child-rearing, we unravel the threads that connect us all. These stories of empowerment, solo travel adventures, and the joys of discovery help paint a vivid picture of the independence and worldviews that have shaped us—and the legacy we hope to pass on.
As we discuss the complexity of relationships and love, Jessi Lynn delves into her past, revealing how therapy and the example of healthy partnerships allowed her to navigate her fears and embrace a profound connection with Paul. Wrapping up the episode, we invite our audience to join in this celebration of friendships that morph into family ties and share in the gratitude that this podcast platform has fostered. Tune in for a session brimming with heartfelt dialogue, and let's connect through the shared experiences that unite us all on The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast.
I feel like I've heard the phrase like someone that's committed to misunderstanding you. You know.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Let's both get out of our own ways. If we're friends, like you, should be able to trust the words that are coming out of my mouth and I'm telling you exactly how I think and how I feel, and you know it's with the best intent and that's absolutely what I want to hear. If that's what I need to hear, you know.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom LaMoure and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. On today's episode, I speak with my girl, jessie Lynn, about becoming a mother, meeting the right guy, the importance of traveling and so much more. Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet. So, jessi Lynn, yeah, talk to me. How are you feeling? How are you doing? How are you?
Speaker 1:I am doing surprisingly well. I'm not going to me. How are you feeling? How are you doing? How are you? I am doing surprisingly well, I'm not going to lie. It's kind of the time where it's like why did I marry for love? Why didn't I marry rich? Why do I have to get up and go to work when it's cold and it's dark out?
Speaker 2:That's how people are going to get to know Jesse Lynn. Why did I marry? For love.
Speaker 1:That's how I start the podcast, you know it's just that time of the year and I have to remind myself that I don't hate. I don't hate my job, I just hate cold mornings. You know, that's really all it is. And, like you know, at this, I realized today that I am six months pregnant, which feels very pregnant, but I don't I feel really good. So I'm going to just keep leaning into that as long as it lasts.
Speaker 2:And how is that going? How has the pregnancy been? Has it been difficult? Have you been throwing up? Have you been normal, cool as a cucumber?
Speaker 1:Paul has barfed more during this pregnancy than I have by like a long shot, like I've been. Honestly it's. But like this is my own personal experience, you know, and I am very, very grateful for this experience, because I know that not everybody has it this way, but it's's been, it's been fine. Yeah, I could not be more grateful. Yeah, it's been good. Baby's healthy. We had our anatomy scan a few weeks ago and he's moving and shaking. Yeah, everything's going well.
Speaker 2:Any cravings, any weird headaches, nothing at all. You're just smooth sailing. No real cravings but like I will eat a popsicle like at any point of the day all I want I do want popsicles I wouldn't even call it a craving it's just like I don't know, that's what sounds good.
Speaker 1:I guess it is a craving, but other than that, not really there were.
Speaker 1:There were a few aversions in the very beginning, um, and paulito was very patient with that, which I appreciate, like yeah, I was like oh, do you know, it sounds good, all grout and potatoes yeah which is not an easy dish to make, and the man sliced up peeled potatoes, made me delicious homemade all gotten potatoes and then when he put in front of me I was like, nope, don't want that was it the smell or was it just the way it looked?
Speaker 2:like what happened?
Speaker 1:oh, the texture. The baby is, like, I think, also a vegetarian, because now? Meat doesn't taste good, yeah but so no, no cravings, but definitely some aversions. We've been eating a lot of tofu, so the baby's a environmentalist. He's. You know, whatever is after Gen Z, he's even more of an environmentalist.
Speaker 2:So Well, how is that then? I mean, I don't know if I think you might be surprised by this, but I've never been pregnant. I don't think I can get pregnant.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I don't understand how what it does to my body. You're in a place now where you're saying it's going well, you haven't had too many hiccups. Are you excited? What are your feelings? Are you worried? Do you feel like you still have so much to do? Where's your head at right now?
Speaker 1:Yes to all of that. Yeah, definitely, as it's becoming more real, getting excited, becoming more real, getting excited.
Speaker 1:Paul has been working nonstop to get the house like up to shape, to bring a human, another human, into it. Um, it's been fine for he and Seamus and I, but it's like, oh, we have a baby coming so we should probably fix some of this stuff. Yeah, uh, for instance, the walls don't touch the floor in the baby's room, so we have to fix that. So watching him nest for lack of a better word has been really nice. It's been really sweet.
Speaker 1:I appreciate all he's doing to get our house ready and it's been nice the way that he has really been picking up the slack. I work two jobs and like coming home, I have been a little bit more tired and like I've come home to the dishes like done most of the time, even when it's been super duper, my turn to do them because he has made dinner every night. Also, it's been an interesting part of our relationship, like the way that we're growing, so that's been exciting to see just to like have a little bit, even more give and take, so excited, and I'm as nervous as most new parents are Like I don't know, I've never done this before, but I feel like I couldn't have picked a better partner to do this with.
Speaker 2:That's perfect. I'm so pumped for you and, as you can clearly see, that I want to know everything. I want to know how you're feeling.
Speaker 1:I want to know what you're thinking.
Speaker 2:I want to know what you're getting excited for. And one thing that's real big about this whole experience, of course, is the families coming together, because everyone's so excited for babies. Like his family lives in Ireland, Like are they planning to come back? Like your folks are going to be like what is the situation going to be week of the baby getting there or your water break? How is everyone going to be week of the baby getting there or your water break? How is everyone going to be there?
Speaker 1:that is an act. So mom lives here, so she will be there. Like I mean, we're not having multiple people in the room for the event, but you know mom will be around. I don't think that you could keep papa terry away, like if we tried. He is so excited. Did I tell you he bought a tractor?
Speaker 2:no, you did not for the baby. I'm like daddy, we need a stroller before we need a tractor but okay, like I hope that people listen and just hear like desolate is the best one and two, she's the country's person ever.
Speaker 1:Well, you did, I tell you to my father, the baby I'm just like okay, your love language is, you know, small machinery for the baby he has given. He's given paul so many tools to fix this room up, but yeah dad.
Speaker 1:Mom and dad will both be available as soon as the baby is ready to be seen, and my dad has been. I'm so proud of him, he's been so compliant with, like you know, dad, you've got to get this shot and you know you've got to do this, this and that, like a man that hates calling his doctor, immediately like gets on the phone. It's like I need my daughter's having a baby and I need to do this. I've enjoyed that. And then we are planning to go to Ireland for my sister-in-law's wedding in June, so we're going to have this baby. He's going to get here, I think, on May 3rd. May 4th is what my money is on. We are going to immediately file for a little baby passport.
Speaker 2:I was just about to say, like that's really fast, turnaround Quick turnaround and we're relying on the US government to make it happen.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, the plan is to go visit his family and stay for a few weeks over there and then his parents are going to come visit in October to kind of help transition me out of maternity leave and back to work and extend the time that the baby doesn't have to be in daycare.
Speaker 2:So I'm excited for them to come.
Speaker 1:There hasn't been a reason for them to come visit because fortunately we've been over there so much in the last two or three years that it just didn't make sense for them to come here. But now that we have a baby, they want to come on over.
Speaker 2:For me, going back to blessington just sounds like the greatest thing ever. It was so much fun and I'm sure that you are enjoying all the travel there. Well, hopefully you're enjoying being able to go to ireland and just say, yeah, I'm going to ireland to see family wink wink also just kicking it into ireland.
Speaker 1:That's so cool I mean, can you think of a better place to like sit and hang out with your baby than Mammy Brenda's sitting room, oh my God. Or an outside?
Speaker 2:next to the garden. A little cup of tea, yeah, a little cup of tea Nice out there.
Speaker 1:Maybe a cup of biscuits. I'm pumped.
Speaker 2:That's going to had so much fun at their house. But then also, just like I, had the best egg breakfast I ever had in Ireland. Like they were, they were this place in the. We were in the liberties and we went to this place around the corner from our Airbnb and the eggs were like dark orange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah Just tomato was fresh and the tomatoes came from spain and the eggs came from the farm around the corner. It was really close to where we were and they were like these are the people. And like the guy came in with a crate of eggs and I was like, oh, they're the eggs. They're coming straight from the fire. It was such an incredible experience.
Speaker 1:I love it so much oh, I'm so glad you had such a good time. They talk about you. Like the last time we were there, they were, like you know, asking what you're doing, and I think they follow you on Instagram. Yeah, I think Sean listens to your music on Spotify also. That makes me happy.
Speaker 2:I really I enjoyed every aspect of it and I'm happy for you because that's a really big deal to be able to find a family that loving and receiving and to build that family within your family. I'm sure that's just an incredible. You know, it's an incredible experience. I bet on your part.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I mean, I feel like you can understand that, like with Adrian's family, they're so lovely. It just feels like you hit the jackpot you couldn't have asked for. There's all the tropes of in-laws and to just be like, well, that's not us, but okay.
Speaker 2:I mean I broke up with people because their parents didn't want to meet me or didn't like me.
Speaker 2:And that's so important because I can only imagine dating that girl, getting married, the parents either coming to the wedding or not coming to the wedding and it just being this big drama where it's like, well, my family is picking up the slack because her family doesn't care, and I like that was a nightmare. I, two big things I never wanted in my life. Number one, my number one fear I did not want to be a baby daddy period. I didn't want to be a baby daddy whatsoever. I I didn't want to be a baby daddy whatsoever.
Speaker 2:I've seen too many of my friends, baby daddies, not really getting as much time with their kid as they would like, having to deal with attitude and different things going on within their partner or the person that they decided to have a baby with that's not even really their partner. Having to deal with the drama that comes from that side of the family and the equation them using the baby against them. It's just horrifying and, like you said, it feels like you hit the jackpot when you meet someone and you don't know anything about them, but you're learning about them and then you meet their family and you're like oh, you're normal people, you're nice, you're great people. Oh my God, this could have been very easily the opposite of what it actually is.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Jesse Lynn is family. I was very fortunate to meet some incredible people in college, but Jesse has always been more like a sister. I call her whenever I come back home to St Louis and, like I mentioned in the podcast, she was pretty much the ringleader of my wedding Hand, selected by my wife and mother because they believed she would be able to keep up with my family.
Speaker 1:She knew everybody.
Speaker 2:She has always been willing to call me on my crap. She has dirt on me that I hate that, she knows. But I've always been completely honest with her. So it's part of the gig, I guess. But I've always been completely honest with her, so it's part of the gig, I guess. And she is one of the reasons. I try my best to be a better friend to everyone. I take her lead and she is a damn good friend. I'm sure she will be the best mother ever and I'm so pumped for her and Paul. Much love to those two, any names yet we both want irish names.
Speaker 1:Paul is very adamant about wanting an irish name. He found a very rare one, which is lenon and l-o-n-a accent, or what they would call a fada n, and it means little black bird. So we're thinking maybe lenon.
Speaker 2:Dara cassidy that is so cool, thank you how many people do you know like that's the thing, having a unique name, being able to walk into a room? I'm Lonan and it's like, oh, so sophisticated. Who is this person? Granted, they'll be on their tractor, so Lonan's on the tractor in the backyard. It won't be as classy as he sounds. That's going to be called Lonnie immediately. Oh, of course, adrian and I, of course, are looking. They're trying to have kids, of course, and I never really thought of any boy names ever, but now I'm actually what would I name a boy? I don't want Dominique Jr, and the name that I came on that I really like is Arlo. Oh, it's so dope. His name would be like Arlo Ryan, after my little brother.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I would call him Ari. Either Ari or Lolo, those are the two nicknames. I immediately was like what's the nickname? You got to have a nickname.
Speaker 1:You got to think about the nicknames because other people will. Yes, but that'd be so cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, so I think that's dope. And, of course, lonnie is a great nickname, come on.
Speaker 1:But yeah, yeah. So I've been listening, obviously, to your podcast and hearing you and chris talk, like relatively recently, about how now you're finally ready to start really thinking about kids. It's so exciting, it's such a fun stage to be in and like I'm so glad we waited till we were absolutely ready yes there's nothing better than like not being worried about all of the other stuff besides the having a kid part. Like you can just focus on the having a kid part, because everything else is solid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I always tell the story. When I lived in Chicago, I remember one month at $40 in my account, the whole month. I'll never forget that month in my life and I'm like what about a baby? Then? Imagine that like having a kid. Then, oh my God.
Speaker 1:I have been there and yeah, absolutely not, because you know who would be taking care of that baby at that point in my life, stephanie, polite, shout out to Polite, shout out to Polite.
Speaker 2:That's so true and it would have been a group effort. I mean, still, it's going to be a group effort now with family and being there. But you know, like you said and I said on the last pod when I was talking about that, it's just incredible to be in a place where you know the people who are having babies. I'm looking at them like, oh, you're going to be a great parent. Oh, you're going to be a great parent. You're so responsible, you're this, you're that and especially you, you've always been, and this is the best way. If I were to describe Jesse Lynn to someone, I would say Jesse Lynn is one of the few people in the world I know that will go above and beyond for people she care about, period. I know a lot of people do claim that, but I know that I can trust Jesse Lynn to be there for me no matter what. So you having a baby oh, it's going to be so dope. You're going to be the best mom ever. I can't wait for it.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. Thank you so much. That means a lot.
Speaker 2:Would you say that's a fair description? I mean I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's a really nice thing to say. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:No, of course, I just think it's important, and one of the things that you talked about which I thought was fun that you would want to speak about this was authentic, meaningful friendships, and that's what I like. The first thing I thought was like, how would I describe Jessalyn, one of the best friends I've ever had? She's incredible. She takes care of everybody. She looks out for people. I'm trying to remember who party it was. I remember we did an appreciation day for someone in particular. Who was that for?
Speaker 1:We did one for Stephanie Pauly. Did you come to the one for Teresa?
Speaker 2:I think it was the Teresa one and I went to it.
Speaker 1:The one with the karaoke in the basement of a Mexican restaurant.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, that's something that only you would do, in my opinion. I know so many friends, even my bachelor party. I paid for pretty much everything I did. I didn't have like like people are just gonna like have an appreciation day for me and I like land my bachelor party and I'm like I look at someone like Jesse Lynn where if you are the maid of honor at a wedding, it's taken care of. I bet, because you always look out for us, you always make sure we're taken care of. Great. I like to throw out there so people who don't know tessie lynn can hear I had my birthday party back in st louis and my birthday party was just a concert.
Speaker 2:I got to do a show. It was nickelodeon themed and no one showed up in any costumes. But jessie lynn came and she was tommy pickles and she was in a blue shirt and a pamper and walked into this bar expecting everyone to be in costume and no one else was and I was just so thrilled that you would go that far just for me. It was so cool and that's how I've always felt. Like you, you've truly been with that in mind. Like what does an authentic, meaningful friendship look like to you, someone who I think is the most authentic person I know. Like what would you say it looks like to you on your end coming back?
Speaker 1:it's just someone that you can count on to be honest with you and like I don't know, I'm really grateful for the friendships that I have. I feel like I'm lucky to have an equal amount of male and female friendships. Like I feel like I can get real feedback from any of them, like they're not just gonna blow smoke up my ass. You know like it's someone that really has your back when you need it and then also tells you you're being an idiot when you need to hear it.
Speaker 1:You know like definitely probably, for example, not to like keep bringing her up, but she'll tell you like when you need to get it together yeah and like I think about like stages of life that I've been in, that I've been friends with you and with her and you know we're we're still friends with so many people from college yeah. And like I feel like they'll tell you like hey, man, what are you doing? Like is that the best choice you know, to know that someone is willing to be uncomfortable and tell you something you maybe don't want to?
Speaker 1:hear because they love you that much. I think that's like an authentic friendship. Like and Billy, like you know, there have been times that we've not necessarily have our differences, but I've done something dumb, and he always prefaces this with like I don't mean to be harsh, but and then it's something that's not that harsh, it's just something that you needed to hear and it's like yeah, man, I appreciate it, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, I will say that I agree, but also I know that there are people I love to death, some people that I'm so close to that there are just some things I can't talk to them about. There's just some things I know that, no matter what I say, the reaction I'm going to get will be more painful than letting them know that they're doing something wrong. So there's just some people like I can name three off the top of my head that I won't say. But there's like I won't talk to them about relationships anymore. I won't talk to them about choices that they're making and I won't talk to them about religion or politics or something like that, because I understand that those are the things that if you touch on it, they'll kind of take it out on you the wrong way.
Speaker 2:But, with that being said, having someone that will look you in the eyes and be there for you is so important. I feel like no one in this world should have to walk around and not be able to talk to someone that they love and be afraid that they won't be honest with them. I'll always be honest. There's just some stuff I won't touch. I know I can't touch on this topic, but I'm going to always be honest if you ask me, you know.
Speaker 1:I think that you've probably come to learn that from trial and error of, like you know, trying to be honest and trying to do what you feel is right, like as a good friend. And I will say, I have some of those relationships in my life and I will be honest, you know, I love them enormously.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make me love them any less, but it does. You know, if there is that like barrier, it does make me think this person is not the person I can go to. I can go to for honest feedback in this particular area, and this, this wall, is impacting how honest and intimate we can be with each other, you know, and it's just one of those things and, like I said, I don't love them any less, but it does impact the depth of our friendship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree. I've put myself in so many scenarios because I do enjoy keeping up with people. I do feel like being in touch with people is a love language of mine, on top of the others, because I really do miss people. I do want to know what's going on, I do miss the interaction of being there, hugging I miss hugs so much, you know and I get to this place where there are just a certain number of people I know I can really talk to about certain things. But then there are some friends who are like some of my best friends in the world talk to about certain things, but then there's some friends who are like some of my best friends in the world, but it's like ooh, like you said, there's just parts of that relationship where it's like I know that I can't fully trust your word or I can't express myself the way that I truly want to because of certain things, and that's really disheartening because, like you said, having that authentic, meaningful, honest friendship where you know that, no matter what is said, no matter how you bring it up, even if it comes out wrong, you still know that that won't affect the way that you communicate with each other, cause they'll be like all right, first and foremost you're right, but you need to check the way. You just said that Like they'll at least say to stuff like that. But there are just some people that you know.
Speaker 2:There's just different levels and it makes it way more difficult because the older we get, the more we don't want to deal with all of that, the more we want to just be able to, like I want to be able to know I can just talk to you and you're not going to use my words against me, you're not going to take it the wrong way because you're not truly listening to me or you don't have the full confidence in yourself.
Speaker 2:So you're assuming that I'm judging you and I'm only giving you part of the information. That's. That's one thing that I think I struggle with a lot, when I'm talking to someone and I say something and they're assuming I'm thinking something else and I'm like I'm telling you what I'm thinking right now. I'm not holding anything back. If I'm, if I'm being honest with you and you ask me a question, I'm telling you how I feel I'm not judging you any extra, and that it makes it difficult because I'm too old to be sitting here trying to console you about extra stuff that you're uncomfortable with or you're. I'm trying to be the best friend I can be for you, and I can go on and on about that. That is something that does really grind my gears, as they say.
Speaker 1:That resonates so much. I feel like I've heard the phrase someone that's committed to misunderstanding you. Let's both get out of our own ways. If we're friends, you should be able to trust the words that are coming out of my mouth, and I'm telling you exactly how I think and how I feel, and you know it's with the best intent and and that's absolutely what I want to hear. If that's what I need to hear, you know I mean first and foremost, before you met Paul.
Speaker 2:How often did you travel?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean you knew me and I was Tell the people who don't know you. Well, I mean you knew me and I was Tell the people who don't know you, yeah tell the other people. To be honest, I did not have the resources to travel.
Speaker 1:You know I met Paul in 2018. I met Paul the day I finished grad school. I opened up that app. I said I can date now. I swiped right or whatever, like clicked whatever check mark and we started dating then. But before that, right or whatever like collected whatever check mark and we started dating then.
Speaker 1:But before that I, like you know, I was working mostly waitressing jobs and there's just not money in the budget for travel. But I the first year that I had a big girl job and was able to like have some actual discretionary income. That was the year that I did that big trip by myself. I went to Italy and Greece by myself for like three weeks, which was really cool. If you have the opportunity to travel by yourself, I cannot recommend it enough because, as someone who could get lost in a paper bag, it was really good for me to only rely on myself to figure things out, and it was very much an I am woman, hear me roar kind of thing of like. I did this and I did it by myself and I came along several bumps along the way, cause again, I still I was working. When I say big girl job, I still mean St Louis public school, so it wasn't all that much. I was staying in hostels and not taking cabs, definitely taking the bus and trying to figure out public transportation in another language, and it was just really empowering. Sometimes it was really frustrating, but, like when you overcome it, there's no better feeling.
Speaker 1:For example, I was stuck in a train station in Naples because internet on my phone went out and I could not figure out what bus I needed to take. I kept leaving the train station and looking around and being like nope, nope, this doesn't look right. This is not where I'm supposed to be. This is about 20 miles from where I'm supposed to be. I don't know how to get to where I'm supposed to be. This is about 20 miles from where I'm supposed to be. I don't know how to get to where I'm supposed to be and don't speak Italian. I speak a little bit of Spanish so I can understand some Italian.
Speaker 1:I asked so many people what I needed to do to get to this one place and finally, finally figured it out and like the amount of relief that you have, like when you are finally sitting on the train going to what you are pretty sure is the right destination, like that relief, but then I remember getting off the train and I was still two miles from where I needed to be and I could not afford to take a taxi and so I'd walk there on foot and I had all my bags and it was my first time traveling, so I grossly overpacked. At that point I was a little delirious and legitimately just talking out loud to myself, because I was like no one's going to bother you if you're talking to yourself Like no one, just trying out crazy, like whatever is going on around you and you will be fine.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I just cannot recommend traveling alone enough. I'm glad I was able to do that before Paul and I got really serious because, having to rely on myself I I used to do Straw Hats in New York, so when I started doing those trips by myself for auditioning and then for living, moving to Chicago wasn't really traveling, but also I was learning how to do things for myself, how to navigate a city, learning the common laws of being a city person. You know, which is something I didn't really realize how important it was until I actually got the money or had the reasons, like going to Dublin to see you get married. I learned a lot about living in a big city. Living in Los Angeles, in Chicago, in Dublin, really reminded me of New York and LA and I wouldn't have been able to do what I did there Like I was very comfortable while I was there, traveling, getting around. Of course, technology is 20 times better now, so I think I'm able to travel overseas at the best time ever because I could just pull that Google Translate out and I'm good to go. But in Ireland I didn't have to worry about that because people spoke English there, so it made it a lot easier.
Speaker 2:But when we went to Tokyo and Kyoto and Japan, I was so nervous. I was so nervous it was going to be so difficult and I was this kid from St Louis there was no way I was going to be able to do this. And there were times where we were on the train and it took me back to being in the train in Chicago where it's like OK, I got to jump on the orange line to the blue line and that was the way it operated in Chicago. Then I get to Japan and I'm like I don't know what that sign is. I don't know what the words are, but I know that the green one is the one we need to get on and it's on this platform. So let's go to this platform and hopefully we're going in the right place and we got where we needed to go every time.
Speaker 2:And it was very much because I'd lived in these cities, I'd operated on these public transportation, trains and buses by myself and truly developed this city lifestyle or this thing. And even in St Louis you get to experience that with the Metrolink and with the buses, but it's just not as advanced as it is in New York or Washington DC and when you get to really go to those cities, you get to put yourself in those situations where it's something bigger than anything you're used to. It makes it so much easier, when you go to Spain and you're in Madrid, to get around or to operate or understand. Ok, this is how a big city works and I wouldn't know that.
Speaker 2:I have family members who have never left St Louis before. I have family members who don't plan on leaving St Louis and, once again, I don't know, maybe it isn't for everybody, maybe some people can truly, you know, stay home, do it at home, do what they do, and they can live their life the way they're going to live. But for me, I felt like getting to experience the world is one of the most important things for Americans, because we sit around and you meet so many people who will tell you that America is the greatest place in the world and they've never left, they've never actually had an opportunity to, to see what another country, even Mexico, is like, you know, and that just blows my mind how I feel it's just one of those things you got to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you go to another country and you say you're American and then other people have some thoughts about that, a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 1:I just don't think that I mean again, this is coming for me. This is coming from a place of privilege. It is an extreme privilege to be able to travel. It's a lot of it's privilege. It's a lot of the choices that you know we make to like keep traveling in our budget. One, because we have to, we need to go visit his family and if you're going to pay for a flight to Europe, you might as well go see some other shit while you're there. You know, like we went to Slovakia for Paul's brother's wedding this summer and like if we're going to pay to go over there, you know we're going to see some other stuff. So it is a huge privilege to be able to go. And like I do still see people that I know that do they absolutely have the means to go, and like the thing that's holding them back is like well, I don't have anyone to go with.
Speaker 2:Either that or, in my scenario, I have family who's just like why, that's like their head. They're like why do I need to go there? I don't, I don't. I can get everything I want here. And you know, if I want to go to the beach, I'll go to Destin, Florida, and go to the beach there. That's it. That's all I need.
Speaker 1:To be fair, in the United States we have so many different kinds of geography. You want to go to mountains, you can go to mountains. You don't need a passport to go to mountains in the United States. If you want to go see a really nice beach, you can also do that. Waterfalls we got them. Deserts, we got them, so I, I get that I agree with that in a sense too.
Speaker 2:I just know so many people who st louis is their life, st louis is the way that they live, and like their biggest travel. They're like oh, I went to kansas city once, you know, saying like that is what they be like.
Speaker 1:I went to kansas city.
Speaker 2:We went over there because we had a school field trip to kansas city or I played in a playoff football game in Kansas City, Like I have one person that for sure. The only reason why they went to Kansas City is because the football team went to Kansas City.
Speaker 1:Or you know, family trip down to Branson yeah.
Speaker 2:The.
Speaker 1:Vegas of the Ozarks.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, oh yeah, I mean, even with that, that is still worth doing, because if you just stay in one place and you constantly do the same thing over and over and over, like I mean, yes, I don't know, I feel bad trying to say that that's wrong, because, once again, I don't think like that. Some people think that way and if you want to do it, do what you do. But I just think you know we think a certain way about other people and no matter who you are, even on accident, you're going to stereotype people, this and that.
Speaker 2:If you've never been to Mississippi or Alabama and all you hear is how racist they are down there and how horrible the history is and how they're the poorest states in the country and all they care about is college football, you'll be pleasantly surprised. When you go down to Huntsville, Alabama, alabama, and you're in one of the best art museums in the country, thinking, oh, I didn't even think that this would be here, you know. Or when you go, I went to to Natchez, mississippi, and every time I've been to Mississippi it's been very run down before and we sang at weddings in different places in Jackson and we went to different places around the state and I'm just like, oh, like, oh, it's kind of rough here, but then we went to Neches and it reminded me of Cape it was very much Cape.
Speaker 2:Toronto City. It was on the Mississippi River. The bar we were drinking at and eating at was right on the water. They had a Cajun restaurant, just like Broussard's right by the water, and downtown had a square with a clock in the middle of it. I'm like this is Cape Toronto, missouri, that's Cape Girardeau, and it was in Mississippi and it was really nice. It was a really quaint city and the people were nice.
Speaker 2:I had a great espresso and I bought a cigar that I saw in my favorite cigar aficionado magazine that I don't own yet, I don't get it regularly, but I am the old man who will be getting that cigar magazine at some point in his life, drinking scotch, and I couldn't believe the experience that I had in Mississippi and I kept saying in my head like I can't believe I'm in Mississippi and this is how it is. But it's like you won't know unless you go, you won't truly understand that you know and people will sit at home and truly judge certain parts of the country or even certain parts of the city in St Louis being like, oh my God, we were in a Jefferson County. You know what I'm saying. It is like it's literally 20 minutes away. Travel is important. I feel like being able to explore and see new things is important. I mean, your kid, literally, is going to come out and be traveling immediately. How cool is that?
Speaker 1:I'm really excited about it and I hope it's something that we're able to continue to do. Just because I think it was in our vows, paul swore he would travel the world with me. It's something that I really now enjoy doing together.
Speaker 1:I feel like now this being in a relationship, being in a marriage, like you said, with, like Adrian, going through Tokyo in a place you've never been in a language you don't speak, being able to rely on each other and not want to get a divorce when things get really tough, when you have to drive a car that is a manual and you don't understand the street signs and you know, work through it together. I think it's really nice to I'm just your illusion, can't you see?
Speaker 2:I'm not the only one that holds you. I never, ever, should have told you You're my only girl. I'm not the only one that holds you. I never had a chance to hold you. You're my only girl, georgie. Georgie, put it back. Kiss the girls and make them cry. Georgie, georgie, put it back. Kiss the girls and make them cry. Georgie, georgie, put it. I kiss the girls and make them cry. George and Puddin' Pies. I kiss the girls and make them cry. I kiss the girls and make them cry. I kiss the girls and make them cry.
Speaker 2:Come on, this is from a live performance I did back home in St Louis. It was my birthday. I had a big Nickelodeon themed show. Jesse Lynn helped me put it together. It didn't turn out to be really that much of a theme no one else dressed up but Jesse Lynn but it was still a good time. I got to play with Brother Francis and the Soul Tones, one of my favorite bands back in St Louis. They aren't doing much now but they're still relatively performing with other groups and I hope to get them back on their feet doing more stuff. Hopefully on my next project. We'll see, but of course this was Georgie Porgy by Toto. This is at the Broadway Oyster Bar in St Louis, sending all my love back home to the folks.
Speaker 2:And you can listen to my music on all streaming platforms. So you can check me out for more information at DomLamorecom, where you can listen to my music on all streaming platforms. So you can check me out for more information at domlamorecom, where you can get anything and everything. Dom L'Amour, I never, ever should have told you you're my only girl. I'm not the only one that holds you. I never, ever should have told you you're my only world. I said, george and Boji Putin pie.
Speaker 1:Kiss the girls and make them cry. George and Boji Putin pie. Kiss the girls and make them cry. George and Paul and Putin pie. Kiss the girls and make them cry. George and Paul and Putin pie. Kiss the girls and make them cry. Kiss the girls and make them cry. Kiss the girls and make them cry.
Speaker 2:Oh, hey, hey, I said I said George and Paul, they put in five. Kiss the girls and make them cry, George and Pardee put in five.
Speaker 1:Kiss the girls and make them cry. George and Pardee put in five. Kiss the girls and make them cry. Kiss the girls and make them cry.
Speaker 2:Kiss the girls and make them cry, go, hey. Kiss the girls and make them cry, go hey, yeah, man, I just kind of want to illustrate this to the audience. One of my most quoted things about you that I always tell people is that when Jesse Lynn was in college and she would bring a dude around or we were talking about dating and this, and that If she was dating a guy he had two weeks it was a football tryout. If he didn't pass after two weeks it was nothing. How crazy is your life now in your head? Like, did you 10 years ago give us a word picture on what you truly thought?
Speaker 1:you would be right now compared to where you are 10 years ago. Okay, so set the scene that's 2014, which doesn't feel like that long ago.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:I didn't think I was. I didn't know if I was ever going to get married.
Speaker 2:If you were to say that I would feel like Jessalyn's never going to get married.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my parents are divorced and so I didn't have a good example of what a good marriage looks like. So I don't think that I was confident that I would be able to find it. You know, and I did have that two week mentality like you mess up, all right, bye, like, and also I do think that some of it I mean you would probably disagree there are a couple of guys that were not great. Uh, for the most part I dated. I dated really nice guys in college. I dated really nice boys, but you know I'd get. They were, but then I'd just get bored or I'd want to do something else and I would just get that. The flight response is very, very strong. Or I'd get annoyed for something and just want to pack up my toys and go home strong. Or I'd get annoyed for something and just want to pack up my toys and go home and I just couldn't imagine loving someone that much for that long. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:It makes sense. Yes, it's really good.
Speaker 1:Growing and probably a lot of seeing friends get into relationships and what works for them and starting to see some really healthy relationships as adults and going to therapy and figuring out that maybe some of the hesitations that I have are related to my background, to what I went through with my parents growing up and working through that and maybe not picking up my toys and going home every time I'm upset with someone I don't know. I'm really grateful for the way Paul and I came about.
Speaker 1:you know we dated, for we dated for about a month and then I broke up with him, because that's who I am as a person. The thing is I I loved him in an affectionate, like caring way and I was just. I think that I cared for him and I wanted to protect his feelings, because I and I wanted to protect our friendship, because I valued him so much and I knew that the only way that we could be friends is if I was honest with him and I was just like I, just right now, I don't feel that way. I didn't even say right now. I said I don't feel that way and I hope that we can be friends. And he puts it. He always says I'm lucky that he was bored and lonely because he didn't have any friends, because he was new.
Speaker 1:And so he was like I am not in the position to turn down friends, I'm not happy with this girl because she just broke up with me. But he, he did not say no to being my friend and we went to a concert together like the next week, and I definitely had, I had some regrets. I was like, oh, did I make the right choice?
Speaker 1:You know, he's the nicest guy and I'm glad that we were friends for seven months and I think that that's why, when we started dating like we were just very, very early on, very serious, like immediately very serious. You know, when we got back together, I don't know, we just had that foundation. Like he was the person I was hanging out with three to five nights a week, you know, and all I wanted to do was spend time with him and I was like, oh, maybe this is what a relationship is supposed to be and it's, and it's cute. So I don't know one thing do you remember trevor camp from college, do you recall?
Speaker 1:yeah. So his advice when you are in the friend zone is you know they're your friend, like, be their friend, be their friend until you absolutely cannot stand it anymore.
Speaker 1:And that's kind of where I was at. So I was like our friendship cannot withstand me hurting him like that again. And I have a really bad habit of wanting what I can't have and I don't want to do that to him. I don't want to just get back together just because you know he's he's he was dating somebody else and I was real jealous and I was like I just can't do that, so I just need to be his friend until I absolutely cannot stand it anymore.
Speaker 1:So that's kind of what happened the week before Thanksgiving. I was stressed out and needed to go grocery shopping and was trying to get him to come hang out with me and he was like no, I'm busy, I've got to do this. And I was like, well, I have to go grocery shopping too. So we could just go grocery shopping together. And he was like I'm at the store right now, but tomorrow I'll go grocery shopping with you and I'll help you carry all your stuff. Cause he knew I was shopping for Thanksgiving and I just thought that was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard in my life and I was like I can't stand it anymore. This is it, this is it. And so that week I had strangers staying in my house because I was doing couch surfing and letting people crash in Emily Johnson's room, which she knew about, and he was like, well, they might be murderers, so I'm going to come over. And so we ended up all going to a concert together and I may or may not have been mild to moderately intoxicated.
Speaker 1:And I told him I told him I loved him and he goes what, don't say anything, be cool. And then he was scheduled to come over the next day to have Thanksgiving with my family, just as friends. So like Friday night, I tell him I love him Saturday, come over the next day to have Thanksgiving with my family, just as friends yeah.
Speaker 1:So like Friday night I tell him I love him, saturday he meets my whole family and then afterwards we like sat down and had a talk and I was like are you my boyfriend? He was like yeah, I'm your boyfriend. I was like you're going to break up with that other girl. He's like yeah, I broke up with her already.
Speaker 1:I was like okay, and then from then on, like I don't know, I just I think that that was exactly what I needed to really appreciate him yeah and like, like I said, build that foundation, really appreciate him really, like there's nothing better than knowing what you have when you have it yeah you know, I feel like very few people get to experience that and like just knowing how lucky you are to have someone that treats you and loves you the way that they do.
Speaker 2:How many people before Paul did you have that agreement with? How many of those guys were you like we should just be friends after you dated them? It wasn't too many right.
Speaker 1:I was friends with everybody that I dated Because I didn't date them long. There was no hard feelings. I was never too much. I'm gonna be mad after two weeks. So that was like a common thing.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna think like what do you feel was like the difference, like what was that one different thing? How did Paul break down the walls of Jesse Liv?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think I just he was the person that I wanted or I had the most fun with him. You know he was the person that I wanted. I had the most fun with him. You know he was the person that I just wanted around and like, especially for concerts. Like for me, I don't necessarily like going to concerts with a boyfriend because I don't want you up in my business Like, I want to enjoy this concert. I am here to listen to this concert and I don't need to like stand by me putting your hands on me. I don't no, thank you. But Paul, like anytime I was doing anything, I was like, oh, you know what would be more fun? It'd be more fun if Paul came. Like I want him there. Yeah, I don't know, it was just he was. He's just my person, I think. I guess that's the difference. None of them were Paul.
Speaker 2:We've made it to the end of the episode, and at the end of every episode I do the same thing. I'm so thrilled that I got to speak with you. I'm so pumped for you and Paul's future. I'm so pumped to hopefully see you soon and to check in on baby, and I'm just so excited for everything for you. And now that we've made it to the end of the episode, I do this every episode. We've spoken about what we want to speak about. All I have to ask now is how do you feel?
Speaker 1:I feel great. I really enjoyed this. I mean, I always love getting to talk to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's always dope. I'm always. It's kind of crazy just how far we've come as kids, from SEMO to where we are now and, like I said, I'm so proud of you and how you've grown and seeing how happy you are now, I mean you are one of my favorite people in the world, and I say that a lot. I know I feel like everyone who listens to this podcast. You just have so many friends and so many people you love. But Jessie Lynn is family. She's not just a friend. When I got married, jessie Lynn was there with me every moment. She was the person who pretty much was holding my hand through my wedding and I always appreciate how kind you've been to me, how you've always accepted me and as a family brother, whatever you want to call me. So I love you so much. I'm so pumped for you. Cheers to you. I know you can't, but I'm gonna scotch for you and I'll be in touch.
Speaker 1:I love you so much.
Speaker 2:I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote credit goes to Plato and shout out to Jesse for being on the pod. You can follow Jesse Lynn at ITS underscore JESS underscore 514 on Instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also tell me your stories about these subjects at the bottom of the episode description. Also tell me your stories about these subjects at D-O-M-L underscore A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at DomLamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore, Much love.