"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Family Life with Benjamin Stevens
Dom L'Amour speaks with My guy Ben Stevens AKA @theworstsingerever about Being a father, Music, being married and so much more.
Imagine being known as "the worst singer alive" and using that label to fuel your rise in the music industry. Today, we bring you the inspiring journey of Benjamin Stevens, a singer and performer who has embraced criticism and transformed it into self-acceptance. Benjamin takes us back to his early influences, from the soulful sounds of Marvin Gaye's "Distant Lover" to his family's eclectic record collection. Discover how these experiences shaped his passion for music despite societal and familial pressures.
Navigating the complexities of a musical career isn't easy, especially when faced with personal and external challenges. Listen as Benjamin and I share stories of overcoming negative influences, such as contradictory family attitudes and societal perceptions. Hear how balancing band practices with wrestling in school led to crucial decisions that ultimately defined our paths. We discuss the critical role supportive friends and mentors played in helping us overcome fears and stay true to our musical dreams, even when it meant stepping away from familiar environments to grow.
Balancing a career in music with family life is a continuous challenge filled with sacrifices and rewards. Benjamin opens up about performing while raising four children, the stress of being a touring musician, and the importance of family support. From the mental hurdles of gigging to maintaining meaningful connections with his kids, this conversation highlights the resilience and dedication required to pursue one's passion while striving for personal and professional fulfillment. Join us for an episode that underscores the power of perseverance and the joy of staying true to your craft amidst life's many hurdles.
Opening quote: Alison Krauss
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
featured song: “Grundy County Auction" Covered by Dom L'Amour and Benjamin Stevens. Members of “Big Bling and the funk machine”
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @doml_amour on Instagram. Or at
at any given time on this big blue ass rock that's spinning through space and we're paying bills on, there's going to be at least one person that really hates me on this planet. There's going to be one, one, two, five, 10 people who I barely even met and I just kind of have to deal with that. And that planet still keeps spinning. Day turns to night, night turns to day. I wake up every morning. Somebody's going to be pissed at me, somebody's not going to like what I do, somebody's going to not like how I stay, and that's okay, because it's not for everybody. I can't please every fucking body.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is listening. My name is Dom LaMoure and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. On today's episode, I speak with my guy, Benjamin Stevens, about performing self-esteem, life of a traveling father and so much more and so much more. When it's open and honest, that's when the real nature of who you are as a vocalist or as a performer, all of that stuff can finally start to become what it's supposed to be Like a settling into yourself. It's not even a musical thing, it's a whole mindset. Yourself is not even a musical thing. It's a whole mindset, a whole acceptance of who you were supposed to be. Life sounds good, so you're the worst singer alive.
Speaker 1:If you let Instagram tell it, I am for sure.
Speaker 2:Why did you choose that as your Instagram I?
Speaker 1:think it had to be about. Whenever the PS3 came out, I needed a name. Instead of me saying, okay, I'm going to be the greatest singer alive, I was like what if I said something completely opposite? What attracts more? The best singer alive, because everybody claims to be that or the worst singer alive?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They'd be like, oh, I want to, I want to listen to that, I want to see that. I want to see if they're actually the worst singer alive. And then you kind of get, you know, surprised and you're like, oh okay, well, he's not the worst singer alive, so that's pretty cool, he got me.
Speaker 2:Meeting Mr Biggs, and he's the shortest person in the room.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's just that effect.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what that is.
Speaker 2:When did you start? Why did you start singing? Where was the place? I always tell people I started singing when the Lion King came out, but really I think I started singing because of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony that's a true statement. We used to hear them all the time in St Louis. Thugger's Rug is Bone was like the greatest thing ever and they had songs that they would be singing on and I'm like yo, that's dope. And then, of course, usher and more performers. That's kind of the origin of my wanting to sing.
Speaker 1:Where did it start for you? So I've been singing apparently since I was two years old. There's a Betamax tape just to let you know Betamax. Yeah, there's a Betamax tape of me performing and I've got on Oshkosh B'gosh overalls and a little blue shirt and I'm just jumping around singing something to my grandpa I think song is called Big Boss man. It's a blue song. That's the earliest recorded moment of me singing and I have been singing ever since my mom was the choir director for our church.
Speaker 1:I didn't have a choice at all, so me and my brother didn't have any way to get out of it, so we had to sing and it just so happens that my mother is a beautiful singer and she is fantastic at her job, at what she did with the kids. We kind of got into it and we just really loved it. You know, as a kid you don't want to go all the time, you don't want to go to practice, you don't want to be there on Wednesday, saturday, sunday, whatever days, multiple days at church. But we did it and that started my love for singing. I never really got the chance to do like anything as far as like solo singing until I got in my teenage years and that's kind of. When I genuinely fell in love with music was when I was like 12 or 13. And I was listening on V103 to Marvin Gaye Distant Lover Live and he barely gets the words Distant Lover out and the crowd gets the words Distant.
Speaker 2:Lover out. What a song.
Speaker 1:And the crowd goes absolutely crazy. Like the recording, it's almost like it stops and it's just the crowd like just hollering. And I was like, wow, he barely said a word, he barely had sung a thing and he had this much control over the crowd, this much pull and power and magnetism, and I was like I want that, yeah, the crowd, this much pull and power and magnetism and I was like I want that. I want that for nefarious purposes, probably as a 13 year old, but I wanted that type of power and I was like I have to be that type of singer, I have to be able to sing these notes and do these things. And that's when I kind of started really like listening to old school R&B and funk and country, because I'd be at my grandparents' house a lot and I would listen to the records. I had a record player before I had anything else as a kid that I've listened to. So all the records that my aunt and my mom listened to in high school and all the country records that my grandpa listened to and all the blues records I listened to those. Before I got my first tape, walk man, before I got anything, I had that record player in my grandparents room.
Speaker 1:I fell in love with music in general, like the art of music, the sound, the different sounds, the way you know you sing a blues song one way, and the way you sound when you sing a country song, or the way a funk riff sounds versus a rock riff.
Speaker 1:It was. That was my schooling as a kid and it continued until I was. I mean, even now. I mean I listen to stuff that I'm I'm not necessarily like enjoying, like uh, disney stuff, but I'm still listening to and I'm like, oh, that sounds really interesting because you know they're singing it like this and you know they're making it sound like this. So it's a continuing education on the evolution of music and how it affects different generations, because I've watched, how you know, music did my grandparents, how music made my mom feel, how it made me feel, how it made my kids feel. So it's just a constant thing and it's not the same. Like the way I fell in love with music is not the way my son, nash, fell in love with music. It's very cool to see how they my kids, specifically like, what music they listen to and why they like it and what makes them drawn to it.
Speaker 2:Don't hate too much on Disney. We don't talk about. Bruno is fire. No, I don't know what you talked about.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying like Disney movies per se, but the Disney Channel movies, like you know, know how we used to watch, like Brink and Johnny Tsunami, like the Descendants, and right now Nash is really big into zombies and he's big into Aaron and Aaron, a guy and a girl living together and they're musicians and they're working out stuff, and I was like, hmm, this is kind of interesting. So he likes that music and it's pop rock than anything else. He's absolutely enthralled and he's just he can't get enough.
Speaker 2:We'll for sure get to the kids. I want to stay on you right now with that part up to 13, of course, because for me, like I said, bone, thugs-n-harmony and like being young and constantly hearing you know, the Barge and Aretha Franklin, absolutely, al Green and all the music my grandma used to play and my mother used to play and my great grandfather was big on BB King, loved BB King, and I would hear so much music from different genres all the time, but I was so scared to like try to sing and perform, like when we would go to church. I wouldn't want to sing in the choir, I would. My grandmother would give us a pen and a notebook and give let us draw.
Speaker 2:You know, that was how she got us distracted in church and I tried to avoid it because my uncle was a bully. I just, I have to say it that way because it's the truth he was a big bully and he used to say that you know, singers are gay and people that I admired he'd be like they're gay and they're this and they're that, they're horrible, or they're this and they're that. And I was just like, well, I'm not gay, I don't want to do that. I just listened to my uncle, who was a child. He wasn't a grownup, he was a kid just being a dick. That really influenced me.
Speaker 1:So how good was he batting on singers that were gay? What singer did he say was gay and was actually gay?
Speaker 2:That's batting on singers that were gay. Like what singer did he say was gay and was actually gay. That's the thing. No, I didn't know what that meant. All as a kid, you know, saying like I'm young, I don't know what gay is, I just know that they're saying it like it's bad they are. I'm like, well, I don't want to be bad gay. I don't know about gay.
Speaker 2:He used to always say the prince was gay. He used to always say that usher was gay. Uh, john legend was gay, all you name them. They were fruity in the booty to him. That's the way that he looked at everything.
Speaker 2:And for me it was very hard for me to continue singing publicly or even try to sing publicly, because I just was nervous my uncle would make fun of me and that was one of those things where I would sing and I kind of mimic voices and I kept doing that. And in school, you know, I would do it and I realized people liked it. But I still didn't join the choir in middle school or elementary school. I didn't go and do musicals during middle school or elementary school. I didn't do any of that stuff. And ironically, I didn't do any of that stuff.
Speaker 2:And my uncle, who made fun of all these performers, was the one who introduced me to Little Shop of Horrors musical, amazing, you know, like because of Pam and Gina from Martin Pam and Gina's in his movies. So I'm like this is dope. But then it's like it's this huge mind fuck because he'll show you this and he's singing along. But then he's also like you know that dude Usher that you listen to, he gay.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh okay, I don't know what to do and it took me kind of getting to high school and realizing, hey, I know gay people, I know what that means. Now I'm not scared when someone says it, because people were throwing that allegation to me all the time. All the way up till college I felt like someone always was like saying something behind my back about is he gay? Or a girl? Be like I thought you were gay and I'm just like you get to a point where you hear so much. I'm a BFA musical theater major. Louis Black said all theater majors are 10% gay. So it's like I just take it on the chin now.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to hold you. When I saw your email the first time I was like this nigga might be gay bro.
Speaker 2:See what I'm saying. So, right there, immediate, my name is Dominique. You know what I'm saying Now. Granted, you didn't know at that time, I'm from St Louis. It's a French town, screw you.
Speaker 1:But also Dominique didn't throw me out because I knew Dominique, Like Dominique to me, was associated with Dominique Wilkins.
Speaker 2:I was like all right, and that's who I was named after.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, UGA Reppin' baby. See, look at that.
Speaker 2:I know right, it happens some way for you every time.
Speaker 1:Indeed Go Dawgs.
Speaker 2:Come on. But with that being said, I got so used to hearing it and like, oh, you're gay or you're too feminine and this and that I'm like by the time I got to college and kind of knew who I was, understood what I was about, understood that I didn't really care what people like that thought. Then the performance really came in front and I was in talent shows in high school and I was on the morning announcements because I sang and I was in all the choirs and it's like why would I run away for something that I'm good at? You know, I'm trying to play football or basketball and I'm horrible at sports, but I'm really good at this thing and I could be great. And I was like I'm already behind everyone else. I need to catch up, you know.
Speaker 2:So that was my journey where it was like I had that horrible negative influence that really hindered and kind of stunted my growth when it came to performing, because I didn't start when most people in the theater department, all these people I was working with, had been doing it since they were eight and seven and six you know, young, yeah, and I'm just now my first musical and I'm a sophomore in high school Like, oh, I'm in a musical. You know how was that for you growing up? Did you have any negative influences? Were you always kind of like singing and people loved it? So you, you saw the good in it first, because I it was hard for me to find the good in being a singer. I thought it was negative because I was always told negative things about singers growing up from my uncle.
Speaker 1:I was taught the exact opposite. I come from a family of singers. Like my grandpa sang. He sang in a group when he was younger, apparently, and they had a record. My grandmother sang in the choir. My grandmother, you know, did all this. My mom sang, my aunt sang, everybody on both sides of my family sang. My mom and dad met late in high school and apparently he was a singer.
Speaker 1:So I literally come from a family of singers and I was never told like hey, don't do that, don't pursue that, it's not well, not pursuing it, pursuing it as a profession. I got a little resistance on from older family members but as far as like doing it for like church or events or anything like that, I was all for it. But I sang so much since I was a little kid I decided in middle school I was like I'm not gonna be in choir, I'm not gonna be in chorus, I'm gonna play. In middle school I was like I'm not going to be in choir, I'm not going to be in chorus, I'm going to play in a band. So I played alto sax from sixth grade all the way to my senior year. So I was completely devoid of really doing anything vocally, except for when we got on the bus and people would ask to sing songs and do all this other stuff just to pass the time away, me and the other people who would really sing would be in the back of the bus singing songs or cutting up or doing something. So it stayed consistent.
Speaker 1:I never really got anything negative said until 11th grade where my band director he said that I had to make a choice because I was wrestling in 11th grade. I wanted to wrestle, it was really fun, the homies were doing it and I wanted to be with them, I wanted to hang out with them, but I also wanted to stay in band. And he was like you've got to make a choice. Either you're going to do wrestling or you're going to do band. You cannot do both. And that's not what my wrestling coach was telling me. My wrestling coach was like yeah, you can do both. I don't, I don't care. He said you can. You know you can doing this as well, so you're going to have conflicting schedule moments I said, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:So when the band director said that, and if you went to see your shows at any point in time between 2000 and 2010, you know exactly what band director it is. It was Mr Camp, it was Chris Camp. I'll go ahead and say it, I'm going to air him out. He made me choose and I was like nah, I guess I'll do wrestling, because that seems like I have much more leeway, I have much more freedom, I'm hanging out with my friends even though I had friends in band as well who I still communicate with. But he didn't care that I was doing both of those. He was like just do what you got to do. So I did wrestling that year. Then, after that, I quit band and I was like well, I still want to do something musically. And in 12th grade I did my first theatrical anything.
Speaker 2:So it's kind of similar to me, like you started later doing the stuff, but you were always singing or performing something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so 12th grade, it was just like somebody said something to me because I took drama one. I think it was actually Ms Millsap. Shout out to Ms Millsap because she has also been a part of another student of hers who's really big. He also went to see her, Titus Burgess so she was like, hey, I see you doing this in class and you were pretty good just for being in drama one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She said you're singing is, singing is great. She said you don't got to worry about the singing. How would you feel about doing a musical? And I was like I don't know, I'll think about it. And she told me. She said, hey, chicago's coming up. I want you to try to audition.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh man, I love chicago. I saw the movie theaters I, you know it was cool. I knew what chicago was and, like you, I'd seen little shop of horrors and I had seen all the other musicals, like the hello dollies and chitty bang bangs and sound of music, all that stuff. And I was like that seems pretty decent. But I really fell in love with chicago because I was like this is not like a usual musical, like this is Bob Fosse, this is all the gritty, the grimy, the sexy, cool. I auditioned and my audition was for Amos. I said I love Mr Cellophane, that's my jam, I'm going to do it and I'm going to knock it out the park. And I didn't even audition with Mr Cellophane, they made us audition with all that jazz.
Speaker 2:Oh, so they selected a song for you. You didn't come with a prepared song.
Speaker 1:They said don't come with a prepared song. We're going to give you the songs.
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker 1:And we'll play them. You can listen to them If you know the musical, you know most of the songs. And they made us like an open audition. So everybody was auditioning and we're listening to people doing whatever. And then they were like, hey, ben, go ahead and come up and do your part in all that jazz. And I finished and everybody was like, well, damn, ok, cool. And you know, I went in and auditioned as Amos, as far as the acting, and they were just like, all right, we'll see what happens. I didn't think anything of it. I thought I was going to get an ensemble part at best. Go in the day they post the roles and you know I'm looking at the bottom.
Speaker 2:I didn't look up, I looked at the bottom.
Speaker 1:I didn't, I didn't, I didn't look up. I was looking at ensemble and I was like damn, I ain't making somebody grab me. They were like hey, look up. I said what do you mean? Look. I was like, oh shit. I said billy flynn. I said whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How'd I get that? And they were like your audition was really good. And I said like I, I actually did all right. I said yeah, I was like oh okay, I guess so. And that's when the nerves completely hit. I was like I've never done this before, I've never done any of this stuff, like I don't know how I'm gonna do this. And then I went the first day of practice and I was like, oh so everybody's in the same boat. Like even though they've done musicals before, we're all working on this.
Speaker 1:I didn't understand the process yeah and that's one of the beautiful things about learning you don't understand the process of something until you you know, you find out behind the scenes, or you. You get behind the scenes, you're like, oh, this is how it works. You practice, you do this consistently over and over. You're working your lines, you work, work on stage and then blocking lighting and everything else, and then, just as soon as you get used to it, it's like all right, let's put this thing out, let's make it happen. So it was the first collaboration between cedar schultz high school on the east side and clark central on the west side. So we all. It was such a big production that they needed everybody, and both drama teachers, all the lighting and every, all the actors, everything. So it was, it was dope the production aspect.
Speaker 2:I totally understand going into and not understanding, because with my first audition I only did it because my friend Scotty was like yo man, there'll be girls in the show, we should do it. And I was like all right, girls in the show, that's about it. Did Oliver to be on that scale and it sounds like I mean y'all must have some amazing artists that come in and out. Titus is my boy, peanut bro. That is incredible.
Speaker 1:That was a couple years before I even started high school, like yeah she would talk about titus and that's before he got huge, so this is early 2000. She was like he's on broadway, he's doing this, he's one of my favorite students, like he was really energetic about it and like it's it's really a flex for Cedar souls high school, and miss Millsap in general would be like hey, this was my student and I was just like maybe one day she can have two students like that. Maybe one day she can say, hey, ben Stevens is doing this and he's doing that. But that hadn't come to fruition yet. But eventually we'll see.
Speaker 2:And man, eventually We'll see hey, man, you're working every week, you're doing your thing. You don't have to look at it that way. I'm trying. I feel like you're incredible. I always tell people you're one of the best things I've ever worked with. This band that I'm in is the best band I've ever been in and that's no shade. I just had my drummer on for my high school band.
Speaker 2:I loved working with all those bands that I worked with. I loved working with my guys in college. I love pushing myself in LA and Chicago working with grown-ass men and grown-ass women, old people, kids, people with grandchildren. Like I'm working with all of this and to be able to say I'm in a position where I'm singing with you and Aaliyah and working with Anthony and Reed and Vanessa and Jorge and Scott. I just love how good we are one, but then also how connected we are when we get on stage. It's just another week, it's another day. I feel like you're doing plenty, and it's funny how many coincidences we have within each other, because I started out, of course, playing saxophone as well.
Speaker 2:I was not good at saxophone and I quit after a year and a half. Really, oh yeah. Well, the one thing that I've been trying to work on more and more with myself is not like looking at old memories being like, oh, it's because of this or it's because of that, but in this scenario, this is one of those scenarios that I've run through a million times and I cannot get past. It was very specifically the teacher was an asshole. That'll do it, and that's the only true answer. It was not that I wasn't trying to be committed. I really loved the saxophone. I tested higher in violin and they, like the teacher, was pressed me like yo, you should try violin, you're already a natural. And I was looking at him like dude, they already don't like that. I, my uncle, would call me the gayest thing in the world if I had a violin in my head Like I just kept, like.
Speaker 2:That was the struggle. No matter what the struggle was, is my uncle going to think I'm gay if I do this? Is my uncle going to treat me like shit if I do this? So saxophone was the instrument I was like saxophones are cool and you think of all the famous sax players they're the coolest dude in the room and everybody's waiting for that solo, absolutely. When I got in that class he put me in the last chair Me and my friend Scotty and Joe Albert shout out to them. We rotated those three chairs maybe once or twice, but we were just. That was our spot. We were in the back. That was one of those hurdles. After that one it was hard for me to even want to perform in other elements. That was at the fifth grade, sixth grade, like I said, middle school.
Speaker 2:I did one significant musical thing One winter one of the teachers was trying to put together a video for the morning announcement. So it was like every day it would play this preview before, because it's the wintertime, so it's like Christmas time before winter break. The last four times that we watched the announcements, this would play before the announcements and me and my friend Bryson, we both would sing with each other. I only trusted him because he was the homie, I guess that, and he was really good. So, since he was really good and he would sing, he'd be like Dominique, come on, man, quit being a bitch. And I'm like cool, I ain't a bitch and I'll start singing. You know mocking other singers, yeah yeah, doing, imitating, yeah imitating them and we all did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he and I got selected for that video because his class kept saying bryson's really good and also dominique could sing too, and so he bought both of us in. We did let it snow. Never knew the words to the song, even though the Temptations did a cover of it on their Christmas album. I never knew the words to Let it Snow, so I learned it in an afternoon and sang it, and me and my friend Bryson, we got to be on the news every week and it was really cool and I was like this is kind of dope. But once again, it's just a slow mountain to get into a place where I was comfortable, where I could push myself, where I wasn't nervous, where I didn't have anyone else in my head while I was trying to perform, and I always feel like that's something that's different with every young performer. It's really dope to hear you coming up in the church and with your family being performers and getting to really live that truth, but even then still not getting fully into it until senior year of high school.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, my great-grandmother was the singer. She recorded an album in the 50s but no one knows where this album is. Sounds like my grandpa. My auntie Audrey was always the one that everyone kept seeing. She's the one in the family that could sing. But the thing about those two were they were women. So in my head, listening to my uncle having him always, he was such, he put such an impression on me. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to tell me I was cool. So bad, the girls singing was normal. I was like, okay, they're supposed to sing, but I can't do that.
Speaker 2:I got to be a rapper or something I got to play football, I got to play basketball.
Speaker 2:It really hurt me trying to get to where I am now, which last night I went out to an open mic here in the city because you know we're off for a couple of weeks now. So it's like I want to keep singing and keep my voice fresh. But also I want to get out and do more jazz and sing more standards Because you know in the band it's dope singing Earth, wind, fire and Mr Brightside. I'm not saying it's something I hate or anything, no, but you get to a point where you know, especially in this band, it's not my band, so it's really hard to get songs put into our own key. I love Anthony a bunch but he really usually fights back against that because he's like yo, it costs money and I mean, can you please like either you sing it or let Ben sing it? And I mean, can you please like either you sing it or let Ben sing it? And I'm like it's fun to be in a position now where I can go out sing a song in the key that I want to flex a little bit, have some fun new audience, really showcase that style that I love so dearly.
Speaker 2:And to get here took a lot of me, isolating myself, getting away from my normal people, not being home. I refused in my head to go to college in St Louis. I had to leave St Louis, even if it was just two hours away. I couldn't be home because I didn't want anyone influencing any decisions from home. I didn't want someone seeing me bartending and washing dishes from home. I didn't want anybody to come to any of the shows from home until I knew I was good enough.
Speaker 2:You know, I wanted to be good before I came back and then I could be like no, this is what I do. And now I'm at a place where I'm there. But that journey was years, decade. You know, it took a long time for me mentally get myself to a place where I didn't have to worry about other people's opinion. You know, and I always wonder this with other singers because I feel like with us yes, instrumentalists take it as well. I'm not saying that they don't get this kind of verbal attacks, but people always are very upfront with singers about how they sound vocally.
Speaker 2:Oh absolutely upfront with singers about how they sound vocally, oh, absolutely About if they're good or not. People are quick to say this person's the best singer ever in front of other singers being like, oh okay, that's cool, I'm a singer too, but who am I? Or do you even feel that you ever struggle with hearing other people? Maybe you might be in a place not like me? Did you ever struggle with people saying musically, are you even a good singer? Or were you about that life off the jump where you could look at them in the eyes and be like I can sing right now. I ain't worried about you.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing I could sing. But I've always been self-conscious about my voice. I've always been. You know, even in high school there were were a couple people who also sang and it was just like oh well, so-and-so sounded really good and you know what it's been sound like, you know? And plus, they were singing a different style, yeah, like they were singing like old school, early 2000s, 90s, r&b. I was more of a standard person. You could put me in any situation, any genre, and I could absolutely dominate. But I would say the confidence decreaser came later on, once I graduated high school and I was in college.
Speaker 1:I was really not singing. At first I wasn't singing at all and then my cousin, braille Jabril Winfrey, shout out to him. He was like hey, man, I know you can sing. I need you to come over and do a hook for me on a song. I was like, oh, okay, cool, like what song? He was like I'll send it to you. So you know, he burned me the CD, just aging me once more, and I listened to it. I was like what do you want me to sing? He was like I just want you to kind of put some, some ad libs on it. And I was like, oh okay, cool, you know just who they were at the time I go in and he's like okay, I just need you to add some stuff here and there.
Speaker 1:Just, you know some oohs and ahs, whatever you feel like I do the track. He stops it. He was like wait a minute, so you, that's what you're gonna do? I was like, yeah, do I need to do something else? He was like, no, no, that's good, that was really good. All right, cool. He was like you want to add some stuff here and there? I said okay, yeah, so basically I did in one take and it took me like 10 minutes, I think.
Speaker 1:After that, braille was like I really appreciate it. I hung out for maybe like an hour, so longer. Braille called me back the next day. He was like, hey, the guy whose house we were recording at, he wants to talk to you. He wants to talk to you about doing some stuff.
Speaker 1:And it turned out to be Nolan Terrebonne, who is one of my biggest influences, one of my biggest pushers, the person who really got me to fall in love with music as an adult, and the reason why I have the work ethic I do now with music is because of him, is because of being signed to the production company and working and making music and making EPs for years and years on end and he's really like my dad.
Speaker 1:He really is a surrogate dad. He taught me everything I know about music, for the most part, like any technical knowledge about music, about anything that happens in the music industry or just musicianship in general, is what I learned from him and it was one of the coolest trial by fires at all times. He was just like all right, we're going to go to nowhere bar and you know it's a open mic night and you're going to sing. And I was like what? He's like you're going to sing and you're just going to go up there and have a good time. He's like don't step on anybody's toes, make sure you watch the other musicians. Like look in their eyes. If they're looking at you, then you need to sing like you. It was just really like a hard not learning how to be a basically a traveling musician because once I got to actually do the things that I had been taught because I really hadn't.
Speaker 1:You know, I would play with other bands here and there, like you know, got on a couple places like hey, we got a couple gigs here and there every once in a blue moon. Like, hey, do you want to come play with us? Cool, absolutely. Like I already had the skillset to do that. Once I got the opportunity with Dan Roth, he was like hey, I've got a consistent gig for you to do all this stuff. You're going to play with me a couple of times and you're going to hop on with this band called big bling. And I was like, well, how many shows do they have? He was like they play every single weekend of the year end of the year. And I was like what? I don't know if I'm ready for that. And then I hopped on and I was like, oh so this is what Nolan's been training me for from 18 to this point.
Speaker 1:Like this is what I've been doing, you know, being in these bands, playing how we play, just genuinely prepping me for these moments, and my confidence always wavers. It's a wavering thing because you know, you don't know if you're better than somebody, and it's. It's not a competition for me, but I want to make sure that I'm bringing the most accurate and authentic voice to the music that I'm performing, yeah, and I want to make sure that people enjoy it. And I want to make sure that I'm not hindering my coworkers, I'm not hindering the other singers that are with me. I'm making sure that I'm harmonizing well, that I'm collaborating, I'm not stepping on anybody's toes. That is a gigantic fear of mine to like be stepping on somebody's toes vocally and they're like, hey, just pull it back a little bit, cause I've never been one to be like. I want to be the person out front. You know doing all this stuff and performing, and just you know getting the crowd ready. I'm usually like I'll sing harmonies, solos when you need me to. I'm a workhorse type guy. I just want to make the team better. That's all I want to do. I want a Robert Gorey Wherever I can make the shots at, wherever I can get us to the playoffs in with these couple plays, just let me do it and I promise I'll put it on my back and I will go as far as I can.
Speaker 1:What I have, I feel like it's worked out for me and I feel like the confidence as a performer I've gotten better at, especially with Big Bling, watching you watching Great Grand Finale with Rayshawn like you two specifically has upped my game exponentially as far as like what type of energy I have to give to the crowd.
Speaker 1:So I got to give it up to both of you because you both are very good showmen and I respect and admire the energy and tenacity that you give to the crowds and the way that you move in and out of not only vocally giving them something but, hey, keeping them engaged in between songs. I'm working on confidence in that way, as far as like being an entertainer, like vocally, I think I'm okay, like I'm decent. I'm decent as far as like how comfortable I am, but entertainment wise, decent, I'm decent. As far as like how comfortable I am, but entertainment wise, I am working on that and I I still have yet to fully embrace the character that I'm building on stage to be able to, you know, get out there and get crazy with you. Like I'll, you know I'll interact, but it's nothing that I'm just like man. I did a really good job, you know, doing that.
Speaker 2:I feel like you do a great job. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm my own worst critic. I will bash myself, even if I feel like I've done a great job vocally. Like all right, cool, I did what I had to do Entertainment-wise feeling out the crowd, getting interactive and being just a vocal spokesperson for the music that I'm performing. I'm all right. I could always do better.
Speaker 2:With that part, of course. You know I'm not going to say that I've always been super confident vocally. I think I've just gotten to a point, maybe five years ago, maybe five years ago, where if you ask me to sing, I'm going to sing and I'm not going to be worried about it. I'm always going to know that I'm going to do what I do, yeah, and if I mess up, you know, you know it'll be part of the act. I always find ways to crack on stage and then be like ha and keep on going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we interact very much, so when that happens, both of us. But I've always wanted to be a professional at this and so when I got paid for the first time 2006, I was like I'm a pro now, and I'm not going to say that I was at the level I'm at now, because I wasn't. I was still very much amateur, but that gave me the confidence to continue to build and continue to try to be better. Work on my breath control, phrasing, personality, like you said, when you're on stage, the character that you're playing, as much as people want to be like oh, this is me and I do this all the time on stage, I'm being as honest as possible. But but also, me on stage is different than me off stage, absolutely. That's just because it I have to be, I have to be different mentally.
Speaker 2:I usually can feel the room out for vibes. You know, and I feel like you even notice that on nights that I'm like jumping, jumping, it's because the vibes are there. Yeah, on nights that I'm like save your energy, we don't need to give them anything extra because they ain't giving us anything extra. That is so true, and Aaliyah gets that too. I noticed her being like oh, they're not into it as much as normal, but vocally confident. When you say that self-conscious thing, I'm always curious with my fellow performers because I just know so many people who in front of you, they're the most confident performer incredible. But then you know behind closed doors you don't know if they're happy, if they're upset, if they're worried about their day to day, if they don't have a plan, if they don't care about that shit. Like I feel like I'm always reminded more and more how human we are through my interactions with my singing performers and friends, because, I mean, we're just vulnerable creatures.
Speaker 2:I think we are even with me being able to walk into a room and know no matter who. In college, my teacher used to always let me sing after, like the big number. If somebody does a big thing and everybody loves them, they're so great. They knew that I had the confidence to follow them and they always knew that. They knew that I either was going to raise my hand to sing first or they were going to be like, dominique, we're going to get you up here. And they would wait till that moment when people were like, oh my God, that was so good, dominique, go up, because I know that you won't be worried during this.
Speaker 2:I've always had that confidence. I have not. The self-confidence part. For me, that is always the struggle is the opposite side. It's the work, business, the promo, social media, people being interested outside. And the one phrase I always say is how do you get someone to wake up in the morning and say I want to listen to Dom L'Amour today? That's the thing that bothers me more than anything. I just started a new social media page. I'm doing this newsletter every month. Of course, we're going to go into business doing our new saw the graph kind of thing.
Speaker 2:I'm really excited for all the things that I'm doing and this and that, but when I post stuff online, when I post stuff to my newsletter, I have to always sit myself down and like Dominique, look, all right, eight people like this, but 230 people like looked at it Like that. That's the thing I have to remind people. Like I'm reaching people, I'm touching people. 230 people might not have liked it, but I know more than eight people liked it. Whenever I get online, I'm not always liking stuff. I'm scrolling. Sometimes I forget to like stuff. I'm like, oh, that was funny and keep going. I have to remind myself a lot of people aren't doing that. There might be people who hate me. They just don't want to let me know that they're liking it.
Speaker 2:I the mentality of what's more important. Should I be doing this or should I go and get a job and be a normal nine to five dude to help bring my stuff to the table and be miserable for the rest of my life? You know like I'm always thinking business part how can I do better business wise? How can I get the right people around me so I don't ever have to think about this shit ever again, because I just hate all of that stuff and I don't think it's ever. The only way it affects my singing and the confidence in my singing is the idea of like, okay, I post a video, I thought I did great in a video, I was very happy with the video, put it up and then you know, weeks later it's like that video has 10 likes and I'm like maybe I wasn't that good. You know what I'm saying. And it was like no, no, you did fine, you did exactly what you like and you should. If you like what you do, you put it out and you can't control what happens after that. Very true, and that's just more of me having to understand that. But that's really where I think my self-confidence is lower, other than the singing part, I'm out.
Speaker 2:I wanted to do this episode a little different. You're not going to get a bio, you just want to hear him sing, so we're going to have him sing in here. You get to know him during the episode. So much love to Ben. He's one of my favorite performers I've ever worked with in my career and I just appreciate him taking the time out to sit with me. He's hiding in the closet during this interview. Actually so much love to him for doing this with me. You can listen to all my music on streaming platforms.
Speaker 1:You can check me out for more information at Dom DomLemorecom, where you can get anything and everything. Dom Lemore, I learned a long time ago when we were doing like open mics and these first few shows, when I was coming up with songs and I was really young, the mentality that I had was whether it's one person or it's one million, I'm still doing something that I love and I really don't give a fuck who loves it as long as I love it, because if I don't love it, nobody else is going to fall in love with it. Nobody else is going to be drawn to it. Nobody else is going to happen to be like, oh okay, well, how do you feel about it? I don't really like it.
Speaker 1:The minute I don't feel good about what I'm doing is the minute I lose the audience, whether the audience is just me or it's, you know, wembley Stadium, wherever your goal place or your goal amount of people or viewers or followers is. I have another quote At any given time on this big blue ass rock that's spinning through space and we're paying bills on, there's going to be at least one person that really hates me on this planet. Really hates me on this planet.
Speaker 1:There's going to be one, one, two, five, 10 people who I barely even met, and I just kind of have to deal with that. And that planet still keeps spinning. Day turns to night, night turns to day. I wake up every morning. Somebody's going to be pissed at me, somebody's not going to like what I do, somebody's going to not like how I say, and that's okay, because it's not for everybody. I can't please every fucking body. It's the Abraham Lincoln quote. You can please some of the people all the time, all the people some of the time, but you cannot please all the people all the time. And it's that undeniable fact about life.
Speaker 2:And that's where I think I'm getting now the breathing, waking up early, creating a routine, trying my best to rehearse as much as possible, looking out for my body, looking out for my head, my well-being. That has helped me start to understand more and more. I did a show in December. It was a Johnny Mathis Christmas show. I've done it in Chicago, I've done it in New York, I've done it in LA, I've done it all over. So I was excited to bring it to Atlanta. Like I said, the singing the show part is never hard. Doing the show, putting the show together, rehearsing for the show, getting people in the room is the hardest part for me. Getting people that I respect to come to the shows and tell me, hey, you're still great and you're doing this. That's always number one in my head, of like will I be able to do it? Is it going to work? Will people be there? Is this, what should I keep doing this? Am I doing this to the right people? Am I advertising the right people? Am I advertising like? I can go on and on and on with how my brain works and by the end of the show I was so happy with what I did musically, but then you know, like mentally I'm already second guessing things. Like my whole family was here and it was like the weekend that they came to visit me for Christmas from St Louis and I'm like, instead of me just like having us time, I'm like come see me at a show, kind of thing. But they came for the show, they wanted to be at the show, so like I convinced myself that what I did was bad. But they already like, what are you talking about? Like we want to see you do this, we want to support you. And I'm like, yeah, dominique, just because you don't like promo and you don't like the whole marketing side, the business side, you can't let that affect what you did and how much you enjoy doing it and loving it. Like you said, and like I said, I can talk through this and tell you how my mind works through it. But it's just going to take more and more of me getting to a place where I'm comfortable with just being me on the stage and okay with maybe the show is supposed to be just for my family, maybe that is the people that's supposed to show up, because it was hard to just look out in the audience and, you know, maybe eight people show up who weren't family. About 20 members of my family was there. That's what's up, though, like, a lot of people can't say they have that kind of support.
Speaker 2:But in my head, you know, you always think of the negative. You think about when you missed the shot more than when you made the shot, absolutely, you know. And so, like, in my head, I'm thinking about the fact that at my phone I had 18 text messages that day of people being like hey, man, you're going to kill it tonight, I know it, I'll see the next one. Or oh, man, I'm sorry I can't make it tonight. Or, oh, I forgot it was today. Man, I'm not going to be there. And it's just. You see that, and the idea that they thought about you to let you know hey, I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but you're still going to do great, that should be good enough. But in my head I'm like that's 20 people at $25. That's a lot of money that could have been paying this band and the videographer and for the promos that I put on the show. They could say what they want.
Speaker 2:But in my head I'm like this isn't helping me continue my career, it's not helping me mentally and it's just like every show. That's why I haven't done as many of those shows this year, because last year I did four. I was like I'm not going to do that many this year. It mentally did so much damage where it's like I don't want to do another one like that, where I produce it and I put my blood, soul and tears and everything into it and I just beat myself up because of the outcome. I don't want that. Yesterday I didn't have to think about any of that. I just came in saying met new people, put up a video, got really excited about doing it. It was all that was going on was that day I got to perform and then there was a black cigar shop owner. So I went to their cigar shop, got me a cigar that night and supported. I was so happy after I left there and I'm like that's what I'm chasing, just being happy.
Speaker 1:I have to commend you for just going having an idea and executing it, because you're like I want to see how this goes, because I will self-sabotage beforehand, like, hey, then you should put together an album or a show or do something, you know. And then I can think of every single reason why I shouldn't do it, why I would fail and why there would be no one there to support me and I just won't do it. And that has been the majority of my musical career. And I'm just now, especially with us, working together. Now I'm just like, hey, you're just going to have to do the thing and whatever happens happens, yeah, but most of the time it's just like. You know, I have an idea of like, oh, I should probably do something. Or, you know, I could probably come out with some more music, because a lot of people like hey ben coming out with new music, it's like no, because I'm way too self-conscious about my music. And where would I sing? How would I sing it? How would I? You know, how would I format that? You know, where would I it on? What musicians would I hire to do that? Where would I get the money for that?
Speaker 1:And then I go into the spiral of like I probably shouldn't do that because I don't have the equipment that I need, or I don't, I can't, I shouldn't do it, and then I just don't. And here's the thing. None of that is true. I have access to musicians. I have access to musicians, I have access to recording equipment. I can record it here. I would just have to initiate everything.
Speaker 1:And for me to do that, it just feels like so much willpower and so much energy, and I'm so scared of putting energy into something like that and it failing. But I fail when I don't do it. I don't fail when I execute. And that's the thing that I have to keep telling myself and reminding myself, like you're not failing, if you're executing, it will start off small, it will start off slow, but you cannot say just don't do it. You have to give it a shot. You have to put some type of effort, some type of energy, some type of creative juice into it before you're just like, all right, well, that's not going to work. Which is why, you know, when the idea popped up for the stuff that we're working on, it was just like, oh okay, cool. I think I'm going to actually follow through with this, because this could be a big opportunity and something that nobody else I know is doing and something that nobody else I know is doing.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dom LaMoure and Benjamin Stevens is with me right now. We just wanted to announce our new singing telegram service that we're going to be putting together in the title of the ATL Crooners. We're going to be doing things all over the Atlanta area and the Athens area as well, for different occasions.
Speaker 1:We've got promposals, anniversaries, weddings, divorces, it it really kind of doesn't matter. We're really, really passionate about this.
Speaker 2:It's a really cool thing so make sure to follow us on instagram at atl crooners. A t l k r o o n e r z atl crooners will be singing near you somewhere soon. Much love to everybody. Thank y'all.
Speaker 2:I always appreciate talking to you and, like I said, I've never really got to pick your brain on your upbringing musically. This is always something that we don't get to talk about a lot as singers, as performers, you know, there's certain people who come up parties. Oh, you're a singer, oh, what do you do? You get that whole spiel, but you never really go in depth about your inspirations, why you're still doing it, how you've gotten through those hurdles of, like you said, self-esteem, not knowing what's next. Being different, I always tell people, as a singer, my life isn't like other people's life. You know I'm calling my friends and they're usually at work. You know what I'm saying. Because I'm not at work in the daytime, I'm usually doing stuff at night, hosting events. I'm luckily starting to change my routine of sleep so, yeah, I might not stay out too much later like I used to. I still get out and do things and perform here and there, but it's just different. Being a singer, we go through different things mentally Every Saturday, you and I are usually in a van for two to eight hours it doesn't matter going there and then two to eight hours coming back singing at an event. For three hours were the life of the party and then, as soon as that bell rings, we're back to being Dom and Ben. It's just the normal.
Speaker 2:Who are you kind of thing? And you have four children married. Of course, doing this thing, I always felt like performing had to be number one in my life. I still don't have kids because for so long I was so against trying to start a family, trying to have anything to hold me back from performing. That's the way I looked at it, negatively, and working with you has opened my eyes to oh, this is possible. You can have a career, you can work every weekend, you could actually have a family, live that lifestyle and still be on the road, actually have a family, live that lifestyle and still be on the road. Just talk through that, because I know with your wife there's a lot going on, especially because y'all got a small baby and she's constantly moving and grooving with them and making sure everything's good to go while you're gone. How does that take a toll on you mentally, and does it help or make it easier for you to keep on singing?
Speaker 1:I think after every kid that I've had, it makes it a little less easier to maneuver about, because I had kids when I was 25. And by that time I had done all the partying and everything else I wanted to do and none of my friends had started having kids yet really. But and I was like, oh man, and I had been told the same thing you had been told If you're a performer, having a kid is just going to completely crush that entire dream. Yeah, I was like I can't let that happen, I can't let that be the case. And so with Ken's it was a little bit easier.
Speaker 1:You got one kid who's like, hey, where are you going? She was really young, so I didn't perform as much as I did like now, but with every kid it becomes increasingly harder. I will say, with the last two children specifically, I have been at shows on due dates and it's just one of the more stressful moments and it's really hard balancing that. It's really hard performing knowing that at any moment your wife could go into labor and you've got to leave. And we've had to prep for that.
Speaker 1:We've had to practice like, hey, all right, if something happens, if she goes into labor right now guys, then I gotta go, you're gonna have to handle this, and with big bling it was much easier because it's like oh okay, cool, hey, there's three singers, so you're fine With Ramsey, who was our youngest, the weekend she was ready to give birth. I can't remember where we were, but in my head I had a plan to be like hey, you're all going to have to come with me to the hospital, we're going to have to drive straight to Athens, you're going to have to be at the hospital, drop me off at the hospital and then take y'all back to Atlanta so y'all can go home because I'm not going to miss this.
Speaker 2:There's no way.
Speaker 1:There's no way yeah, ain't no fucking way, ain't no fucking way of missing it. And that's the same thing that happened with Ev. I was on another show, I think with liquid dynamite, and it was just like hey, I want to let y'all know if this goes down, I'm leaving and there's only one. Uh, there are two singers in liquid dynamite, but I don't know if Holly bell was actually available for that show, so it might've been just me, but luckily it didn't go down like that. It was a wedding again and I was just like, bro, I've got to get home, I just want to be home for my peace of mind.
Speaker 1:But balancing the life work load is still really hard, because when I'm on the road on the weekends, that is when everybody has their free time, that's when the kids are home, that's when the wife is home. So taking that Saturday away is a really hard thing. But I've just been granted the blessing of everything that my children, my oldest two, do is never on a Saturday, for the most part, except for like, maybe like a swimming class, else like you know, soccer or you know a play. It's all during the week. So I'm like, oh, okay, cool, I'm going to be able to make this, I'm going to be able to be a present parent. That is something that is really big to me being a present parent that is there for their kids and supporting them with whatever they do, because it's vital to their lives. It's vital to me and it kind of creates who they are in the long run. And this is the scariest shit in the world as a parent, be like wow, everything that I do affects how you become a person, how you deal with stress, how you talk to people, how you handle yourself in tough situations. Everything that I do is basically going to be copied to you and either done better or worse. So you know, don't fuck it up. And I have never taken that lightly, especially the words that a nurse told me when Ken was born.
Speaker 1:You know she came in. You know I was holding her. She was like I want to let you know right now, and I tell this to every single dad but she is going to derive all of her self-confidence from you, from how you view her, from how you treat her and how you interact with her. So please do the very best you can. And I was like ma'am, I am 25 years old and you have put just a lot of my shoulders. I'm literally holding a genetic copy of me. I don't know if I can take much more of this Like.
Speaker 1:This was already just a crazy experience becoming a parent in the first place. Now you've set that upon my shoulders and now I cannot mess that up. God saw so fit as to give me three other girls, two other girls, and have three girls to be like. All right, these three women, these three girls, are going to literally look at you as the archetype for a man, and that is the toughest shit in the world to have put on you. Everybody knows some female that didn't grow up with a dad and their actions and their behavior kind of almost reflect that in a sense. Sometimes you're just like oh you, you didn't have a dad there growing up, did you? And it's like how did you know? It's like the context clues were there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:First of all, you're talking to me. So you definitely didn't have a dad. He would have told you to steer far away from a guy like me. But even, by the way, my wife did have her dad in her life. Classic, my son, like it's just like he looks at me as still as the archetype for a man and I think there's a little bit less pressure for me because I was like all right, I'm a little boy. I really didn't have my dad growing up. I had my grandpa and I had other various father figures. So I should be good If I can be a positive father figure to him and show him how to handle himself, and not only how to handle himself but how I treat his mother. If I show him a positive reflection, he's going to be okay.
Speaker 1:It's just one of those stressful things, like you know, especially coming off the road and getting in the house at 6 am and everybody's already up and you've only slept like three hours on a van, which really doesn't count as sleep, and you're like, hey, I really need to take like a one to two hour nap so I can just kind of catch up and be halfway cognizant of anything that's going on. And there. I mean, there's still some weekends where I will come in at seven o'clock and I'll drink some coffee and be like well, I guess I will go to sleep tonight for real. And that boggles, that boggles everybody's mind. They're like so you didn't, I didn't sleep like aunt. Sometimes his aunt has an 11 year old and so he has the ability to kind of like all right, I'm gonna go to sleep and I'll be right back. You know, I wake up at noon like he's got an older kid and just one child so it's a little bit easier and a wife, and it's just like okay, cool, we're going to do this, you get some rest, have a good time.
Speaker 1:I am sometimes afforded that luxury because my wife is amazing, but sometimes it's just like hey, bro, you were gone for 24 hours and I had to hold the fort down. I'm going to need a little bit of help. And it's like, oh, cool, well, let me drink this coffee and let me not go look at the bedroom at all, because if I look at the bedroom, I'm going to want to stay in there. If I stay in the bedroom, I'm going to lay in that bed, and if I lay in that bed I'm going to fall the fuck asleep. It's really a big team effort in order to balance that work life relationship.
Speaker 1:When I first got this job with Big Bling, like I remember me and Lauren sitting down and be like, hey, how are we going to do this every weekend, like you're going to be gone every single weekend, you're going to be on the road, and that was kind of the goal as a musician. I was like I wanted to be on the road all the goddamn time. Yeah, so what do you do when you're presented with that situation? Ben the vocalist, the singer, was like we're going to be all right, this is straight.
Speaker 1:This is what we're working on. But Ben, the husband and the father was like I got to pull this off, I've got to do something a little bit different. So that's how I'm still handling it to this day. I may get an hour or two of sleep and then I'm back up at nine on a Sunday morning and then I'm back doing a routine with four kids and we got to go do this and we have to do this and we got to go see grandma. And it's just kind of toughing it out and being that machine for a minute, because if I can stay up all night performing, the least I could do is take an hour nap and be a dad and do what I got to do. And then when everybody else goes to sleep, all right, let's go to bed. It's, it's tough.
Speaker 1:Then I think about you know, what are they going to say when they get older? And it's like hey, you remember when dad was on the road every weekend? And then I have to fill in the blank in my mind about what they say about that. Yeah, like was he an absolute piece of shit because he was on the road and he never saw us, or he still had time for us and he was still present and we still had a great time, and we would talk to him on the road and say, hey, look where I'm at this weekend. Guys, I'm here, here, here and there. Hey, check out this picture, check out where dad is. You know, look at Mr Dom, hey it's.
Speaker 1:I want it to be as pleasant of an experience as it can be, because growing up in a single parent household and my mom having to work, you know, like crazy for the sheriff's department, you know, three days on, two days off, two days on three days off, like it was. She really did what she could, and I have the opportunity to do a better version of that, Not saying that she did a bad job, but she did what she had to and did what she could. I'm raising my kids in a two parent household and I did not get that, and so I got the single parent experience and I know how hard that is, and even when I'm gone, I feel like I'm letting my job as a father down, so I try to do my best to make sure I compensate that when I get back home. I guess it's a kind of a thing in the back of my head. It's like you might be fucking this up man. It's like no, I'm doing really the best I can. I need you to shut up up brain.
Speaker 2:I just need to do this last question we've spoken about everything we want to speak about. I appreciate your time. It's been too long. I've been trying to get you on this forever uh, yeah, thank you, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Last question I ask ask every week how do you feel Currently?
Speaker 1:I feel good. Since this summer started, we've been exercising every day and I have. The goal was to be better and for the kids to be better and for me to be better as a person, and I want to say that we've made a non-negotiable out of walking almost two miles every single day and then going to the garage and working out every single day, and I will say that with physically making yourself better, the mental clarity comes, and a lot of obstacles that I have faced in the last month and a half last month and a half to two months because of physically getting better at things that I usually don't do for a consistent amount of time, I've been able to kind of roll with the punches and that's dealing with, you know, family drama. My grandfather passed away I'm sorry man.
Speaker 1:thank you, uh, but it's. It's just been a crazy, you know, I'd say like six weeks, because I've made a non-negotiable out of getting up in the morning and no matter what the temperature is, no matter what it looks like, no matter how I feel, just putting on my shoes with my wife and my kids and just walking a mile and then working out a little bit and coming back has made a drastic change to my mindset, and I know it sounds crazy.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't at all.
Speaker 1:It really has helped with everything as far as like mental clarity, deciding things, getting stressed out, just handling kids in general, like it's just made the absolute difference in everything I've done in the last six weeks and I cannot thank not only my wife but myself enough for just having the foresight to be like let's make this something that we cannot argue with, like we can't play Uh, I think you know I don't feel good. All right, I don't want to do this. Or it's just like get up, put your shoes on, walk a mile and a half, go, work out and then whatever else you got to do, you're done by nine 30 and you've got the rest of the day ahead of you. So it's just doing that and then coming in and facing everything else and now I've done it consistently I feel like I really don't want to do anything else. I want to work out and then I want to walk.
Speaker 1:And it's not running, it's not jogging, it's just literally one foot in front of the fucking other. And it's literally the same thing with life, with anything you have to do. You just have to take the step in that direction. You have to not listen to your brain and be like oh well, what are all these factors? And she's like, let's just go do it, let's just go fucking do it. So I would say, for the first time in a very long time, I'm feeling not only good about what I'm doing for my body, but I'm feeling good about what I'm doing for my family and for my mental health in general. By exercising and giving myself an opportunity to become a better person, becoming a better singer, I get better lung capacity, I have better breath control, I'm able to dance more on stage and able to move more. So it makes all the difference. I'm loving it. Cheers to you. Cheers to you, sir.
Speaker 2:I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote credit goes to Alison Krauss and shout out to Ben for being on the pod. Follow Ben at Worst Singer Alive on Instagram. Also follow our new singing telegram page at A-T-L-K-R-O-O-N-E-R-Z on Instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also, tell me your stories about these subjects and things that you're up to this year. We should collab. Do this at DOM underscore LAMOUR on Instagram or at DomLamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore, Much love.
