"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
The Best of TBMTEP Season 2 Part 1
Dom L'Amour looks back on the second season of The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast.
How has the internet shaped our perceptions of abstinence, finances, and personal goals? Discover how authenticity in creative pursuits, especially in the music industry, can lead to lasting recognition rather than fleeting social media fame. Join me, Dom L’Amour, as we explore the profound influence of digital platforms on our decisions and underscore the importance of genuine face-to-face conversations.
In this highlight reel from season two of The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast, we revisit transformative moments that reveal how personal experiences and societal issues intersect. From the significance of Roe v. Wade for women with high-risk pregnancies to the inspiring impact of marriage on artists, I share personal insights into navigating these life-altering events.
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Listen to full episodes here: https://domlamour.com/tbmtep
Todays featured clips came from these past episodes:
-Behind the Music: Standing Firm in Artistry and Tackling the Live Stage with Dom L'Amour and Bo Lamar
-Unwrapping Humor with Cameron Keys
-Building strong Relationships through Transparent Conversations with Jessica Trapp
-Resonating Beyond the Music with Linda Marks
-New Years Day Flowers Featuring Chris Bates
-CP Time with Nic Tayborn
-Navigating the Spiritual Landscape: With Dom L'Amour & Taylor Pace
-Harmonizing Passions and Adventures with Michael Jordan
Listen to full episodes here: https://domlamour.com/tbmtep
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is dom lamore and thank you for listening to the black man talking Emotions podcast today. We have made it. We have made it through season two. We have a couple of more episodes for you this month and I'm just going to go through some of my favorite moments throughout the year and show some highlights through each episode. So this is the first of those episodes that I'm going to do for you the best of of those episodes that I'm going to do for you the best of and I just want this to be something that you can listen to and just kind of hear where we touched on throughout the year, some great conversations had, and I'm just very proud of the work and I'm so happy to have the people and the support who are willing to come on to this platform and truly speak freely, give an example of people talking that you don't get to see normally.
Speaker 1:You see a lot of chaos. You see a lot of people talking crazy to each other or trying to find that viral moment. This isn't about that. This is just about normal people talking about life and the things that we go through and what we are working for and our goals and our troubles, and I just I feel like that's important. So thank you so much for people who rock with the show. We're going to keep on going, folks. This is just season two and I'm really excited. Hopefully next year be bigger and better, and I'm going to continue to try to push it out to different people to get involved with it. But until then, please enjoy the best of episode one. I will let you know who is when and where and how at the end of the episode. Just listen to all of the words and what they're speaking about. That that's the important part and I hope you enjoy.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting that you brought up even Roe v Wade, because I do get that Like being with somebody who is every pregnancy she has is going to be high risk.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like Roe v Wade kind of protects her in that aspect. Yeah, Going back to where we lost our daughter, like like if it wasn't for that, because technically, even though she was born naturally, what we had was, by medical terms, an abortion. But if we hadn't done that, she would have died too yeah the thing about roe v wade is people think that it's just about like. These are women just trying to kill babies. That's not what it is.
Speaker 2:It's a protection thing, it's a health thing, because women's bodies go through so much when they get pregnant and their bodies are susceptible to so many different diseases and illnesses and so many different types of terrible traumatic things that can happen to them, to where sometimes terminating a pregnancy or anything of the sort might be the only way to protect the host. And then, like, what are these people going to do to that person? Like that's, that's, that's my thing, like as a person who experienced that.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:I can't like. I'm not saying I'm for abortions. That's not what it is. It's that women need the protection because you don't know what health issues or risks they run into when their bodies become pregnant and their body rejects the pregnancy.
Speaker 1:There's this quote from a song actually on the Wale album, the album about nothing. Jerry Seinfeld was on that album with him and he was talking about marriage. And Wale, famously, one of his songs was like he's like 30 years old, never been to a wedding, and he just doesn't like the idea, the energy of all that, he's trying to keep away from it and he just has doubts. He doesn't believe anybody could be planned or ready for a wedding or this and that. And he's asking Jerry Seinfeld about this. And, jerry, you know, in his very Jerry no, you know, like very Jerry Seinfeld about it, he's like do you feel like, even if you plan like you're ready? And he's like I mean, you can't plan for growth. That's his thing. He's saying marriage, you become a new person and it's growth, it's different. You're going to be a different person after that.
Speaker 1:And I've seen a lot of people speak on this subject recently for some reason. And I'm curious on your behalf because, like you said, you're a performer, your wife's a performer. You're in the world where you don't have someone in your household who's looking at you like, why are you doing this? No, you're looking at someone else who's also inspired, who's also pushing themselves to move forward in the industry. How do you feel being married has affected your work ethic or your content creations Like? Has it changed anything for you?
Speaker 5:That's a really good question. I mean, in general, being married for me doesn't feel any different than you know, when Abby and I were just living together, because we were together for eight years beforehand, and being married is rather just a continuation of that. It's cool to be able to see things like my wife, but from that standpoint it's the same, I think in terms of how I approach creating things.
Speaker 5:I am very, very grateful for Abby because she is very different from me in the way that she approaches her art. She has an unbelievable faith in herself and in the fact that what she wants will come to her eventually, as long as she keeps moving forward. And I am so inspired by her and her ability to just move forward, doing what she wants, how she wants to do it, and you know basically where she wants to do it, because I'm not that way. I often think about like what's the point of this? Where's this going to be, how's it going to live, like what's the strategy of getting people to watch it? And blah, blah, blah, and so I run into all these walls and I get down on myself and I'm I go up and down. It's a very roller coaster ride for me and she has to weather that storm and her approach is always like do what you love and what you love will come back to you.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and I am really trying to hold on to that and kind of take that to heart and it's it's wonderful to watch her live that example, just like everybody else who does what we do. You know she's got disappointments and things like that and struggles and she works through it. You know she's got disappointments and things like that and struggles and she works through it, but that energy and faith that she has in herself and the universe is one of the most beautiful things and one of the things that I love most about her and one of the things that inspires me the most about her. And in terms of like, how does that move into the day to day? I don't know. I think the biggest question right now for us is where do we want to live?
Speaker 5:She's been taking online classes at the Groundlings in LA from St Louis. We live in St Louis now and she's to the point now where she needs to be in person at the Groundlings class and it's going well. She's progressed through the levels and made it through, and so now the question is, like, she's talking about going out there for six or eight weeks or whatever it is. And then, you know, my question to her is you know, do you want to be in Los Angeles? Cause you're to this point now where, let's say, you go out there for eight weeks and you do this class and it goes really well, and they want you to do the next one. Well, you're going to have to be in Los Angeles again.
Speaker 5:Yep, and it's just kind of like, if that's what you want to do, then you know that's kind of where we need to be and that's okay. Like I'm here to support you on that and I'm happy to do that. But it's just kind of a question of is that where we want to be? I think you know, during the pandemic, we were blessed with all these cities being like you know what? Everybody went home. It's cool, you can audition from anywhere and we'll we'll bring you in, we get it.
Speaker 5:but now we're to the point now where these major cities are kind of like you need to be here, we don't want you out of towners anymore, and it's just kind of like. Kind of like what it was beforehand. So now the question is what spot do you want to be in and do you want to make that transition again? That's the biggest thing that I think we're questioning right now and is kind of like the internal struggle, and we've just been kind of waiting for like a sign. And I finally said to her the other day I was like I think we just need to make a choice and commit.
Speaker 1:I feel like, since I know your wife and I know how talented she is, I've always felt like anyone with her got to kind of be ready to move at any point Because I think Abby is one of the most talented performers I've ever met. Easily and someone's gonna hit her up like, yeah, we need you to come work in New York or we need you to come work here, and she like it makes sense that that would totally be something because, like you said, I remember her moving to Chicago. I don't even think she had an apartment yet, she just was like yo, I'm moving to Chicago. Abby is one of those people who I mean she believes in herself because she has the goods, she's really good at what she does and she puts the work in. And to also be a creator and a content maker and to be with someone like that, I'm sure that's just like you said, it's a thrill to be able to see someone like that, because it should inspire you as well or at least scare you enough to do stuff.
Speaker 5:It scares me, it leads me to the scary side of things.
Speaker 1:I'm like ooh, I gotta get my act together you can go online and, if you want to, you can go down a rabbit hole of why abstinence is the best option. You could find a corner of the internet that you're right. You can always find a corner internet that that angle is correct 100 and here's a million people that agree with you.
Speaker 1:Yep, and that makes it difficult when you go to the internet for anything. Really, I feel like I'm always negative about the internet. I feel like I'm always negative about influences coming from the internet because I constantly see this. I constantly find myself online scrolling and then be like why am I doing this? This is so negative. I find myself reading through comments and I'm just like these people are making it worse, or these bots or whatever I'm reading right now. This isn't making it better. And I'm sure there's ways to use the internet to be educated about sex, to be educated about finances, to be educated about life. There are ways on the internet to find this stuff. But communicating with the people that you trust the most, seeking information from professionals, helps, yes, and talking I just I've always been a person who talking directly to someone being in the room, that is the way to advance on all of this stuff.
Speaker 7:And being open to changing your mind. I think a lot of us go into conversations with the mindset of I'm right're okay, I was wrong or not even wrong. I think we have this right or wrong, especially in today's day and age with our political climate and all that stuff. It's you're right, you're wrong, you're left, you're right, whatever you know direction you want to look at it. And it's one of these things where how about neither of us is wrong, neither of us is right. We both learned something. It's one of these things where how about neither of us is wrong, neither of us is right. We both learned something, we both took something away, and we both get to walk away and think about it more and see if that thought or that piece of information fits into our narrative and fits into our life. Does that fit into our relationship? If you are in a partnership, does that fit into what future you're trying to build?
Speaker 7:Because I think the biggest thing with money is everybody's got this end goal in sight of I want to be a millionaire, okay, but what does being a millionaire look like to you?
Speaker 7:And really being a millionaire in today's climate, you don't get far, you know. So it's one of those things where it's. What does that actually look like to you? Does it mean that you own a yacht? Does it mean that you just have a house? Does it mean that your kids are able to go to college and not have to worry about tuition? What does it look like? And then, how do you develop from where you're at now to get there and take the baby steps? Don't try to figure it out overnight, because 99% of the time we're not overnight successes, as much as we want to be, as much as we want to wake up tomorrow and everything is just fixed and taken care of financially or sexually. Whatever our narrative is that we're working on it's. What processes do we have to take, what sacrifices do we have to make to be able to build and get to the future that we're dreaming?
Speaker 1:one of my favorite things that you say it's not the feel. It's the feel, indeed, and I feel like that goes into the idea of being you, doing you how important, and how often has that struggle, if there's a struggle with you, come across where you're like that's not really what I'm feeling, but I'm doing it because of someone else, or fuck that. I'm just going to do what I want to do and it's going to be because I like it.
Speaker 4:I focus on listening to my internal clock and that internal rule of balance, like we all got that. It's built into us. You know when something is right and you get those goosebumps. When something is right and it makes you smile and you feel great about what you did at work that day or when you left the studio, you feel great about what you did or you understand the way that your hair stood up in the moment when it was happening, like you know what's right and you know what's felt so deep. Yeah, you have the choice to either live by it and double down on it or be swayed by whether it's the judgment of what other people may think, or to be afraid because it doesn't fit the trend of what's going on. For me, it's making sure that I stay in tune with that internal balance being and if it's giving me that feeling of this is right and this is honest, not on any day of the week, month or year I can stand on this then that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 4:As creatives and entertainers, whatever form of the industry, if you're creative, we all have to find that balance between to stay within the time, but at the end of the day, you have to realize that if you're following a trend, you're always going to be time. But at the end of the day, you have to realize that if you're following a trend, you're always going to be behind, you're always going to be chasing something. And what do we know about trends? Trends change, so once you follow all these trends and once you finally get it, guess what it's over. But if you begin something and you stay authentic to what's for you, even if it's not at that time, it's going to be appreciated later.
Speaker 4:Sometimes it takes time for people to catch up with something that's going on, but when it's authentic, it can't be denied. And I think there's something that, especially in music right now, drives me nuts. Drives me nuts like there's so much music being made for the moment, right now especially. You know you know we in the phase of tiktok and you know instagram songs and stuff like that, and that's the thing that you got to do to pop.
Speaker 4:You know, even these record label and execs are asking you for a tiktok song yeah, that's like the t description for it no we make the fucking song and then you figure out, Mr A&R guy, how to make you pop on TikTok. That's your job, you know so, and when you do that, when you make music for a moment, that's exactly how long it lasts.
Speaker 1:Damn, when you make something, for the moment that's exactly where it stays, exactly. That is a powerful way to look at it and to understand art. You know, I feel like I've had a couple of episodes where we've talked about our mindsets and the things that you want to do in the art and how artists think. And I really do enjoy creating more now than I've ever enjoyed it. I think the older I get, the more mature I get, the more understanding that all of this shit isn't promised, the more understanding that life is short, understanding that you anything is the idea for life. It just really helps me with my art because art is a reflection of life, in my opinion. So the fact that I'm thinking healthier, the fact that I'm working harder to be more consistent, more efficient, the fact that I'm really putting in the extra work to work on me, is crazy out of nowhere helping my become better, helping me fully see it.
Speaker 1:I would write songs before and it would just be me trying to write a song. But now I'll be sitting down and something happened at the house and then you know I'll forget about it for a second. I'll be in the car driving and I'll put on an instrumental, because that's how I usually do it. I put an instrumental on, or I'll find a tiktok where it's just instrumental, or I'll find on an instrumental, because that's how I usually do it. I put an instrumental on, or I'll find a TikTok where it's just instrumental, or I'll find something, just play it and see if something comes, and then it'll come and I'm like this is everything that I did in that scenario earlier and it's just my life being put on the paper, or now on the phone, because I don't write anything on paper anymore. Don't write anything on paper anymore. But working on ourselves, working on the communication, knowing who we are, is just an incredible tool for art For you.
Speaker 1:Do you think there was a turning point in your performance? You've always been a dope drummer. You've always been an incredible musician. I've seen you go into a studio, have a song with no count, no beats, nothing in it, and then listen to it three times and then go record a drum line on it with no idea where the downbeats was. You just had to kind of feel it and you did it and I watched you do it and I'm like how many people in the world could do that? I've seen you do some incredible stuff, but where do you think that maturing really started for you? Do you feel like there was a single moment, or is it still something you don't even realize? You don't feel like it's happened yet.
Speaker 4:I think it's a mixture of things. Number one, it's the upbringing, especially when we're talking about music, specifically Growing up in a black church. I mean everything is done on feel. You know what I'm saying. Nobody's coming up and handing you sheet music in a black church and guess what, if you're not giving it the right feel, somebody's going to push you off. They're going to push you off that organ bench. They're going to slide your ass clean off onto the floor. Or if you play a drum, they're going to give you them three taps on the back that mean yep, get your ass up, maybe you can play an offering. It's that man just being diving into, just having to know and navigate. You know what the field is and then go for it Really, following your instincts in real time. As I started to perform on different stages and Dom, you know Chris, Chris Jones man playing the chilling circuit, clubs and stuff with Chris man, and you know it's the neighborhood spot.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying so everybody knows the music, they know the song and know if you're playing it right. And if you're not playing it right, they're going to tell you that you're not playing it right. And so, being on stage, I was always the young kid. I was always, like you know, the 14, 15-year-old kid who's not even supposed to be in this club.
Speaker 1:Let's start there.
Speaker 4:I'm not even supposed to be here and I'm on stage with grown men and they calling out songs that I really don't know, these songs. And you know, in the middle of playing one song, chris would be like hey man, you call out the song. He's like you know it. I'm like no. And he'd be like have you heard it before?
Speaker 4:yes, one, two three I'm like oh come on, but it instilled the knowledge of making sure that you're always paying attention. The rule of thumb is if you've heard it once it's in you somewhere, it's in you somewhere you can figure it out. And if you haven't heard it, you should be learning the language enough to where you can piece these different things together and figure it out in real time.
Speaker 1:It's that, and then just always constantly trying to find ways to to get better I feel like that's something that you and I have in common, that being put on the spot thing, live, and absolutely as a singer for me I always say it's harder than as a singer, than it is for instrumentals. I'm sure you might say yeah, you to know words. But yeah, but not just knowing the words, but when I come into a room.
Speaker 1:what I mean is, when I come into a room and it's like a jam, the singer comes into the jam, the instrumentalist is like yo, I came here to play.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying so.
Speaker 1:I always have a little extra moment where I'm like all right, so they don't know me, they think I'm just another singer who's going to come in here and sing, you know, killing me softly or something ridiculous that they aren't even going to get to do anything on. They're just playing and I'm over singing. And they have to know the track the exact way, because I don't know how to improv or anything. That's what they usually assume. But then you come in, you're like, hey, I want to swing this tune. Do you know the way you look tonight? Something simple let's do it in G major. And they're like oh, he knows, it's key, you know the tune. How are we going to do it? How you want to do it? Let's do a bossa nova. Oh, he wants to do it different than original.
Speaker 1:Sitting in the back. I told the dude three times I could sing. I don't play until midnight. And then I get up there and they're like oh, you're actually good. And it's like man, come on, give me a shot, come back. Same thing. They heard me sing, they told me I was great and I'm still waiting until midnight, right before they about to finish up, and it was so difficult, difficult. But when you get to the place now where doing all that as a kid, having those old cats telling me yo man, if you come in here you can't mess it up, if you mess it up you ain't getting up again, you know kind of thing, having that drive to really push being in those clubs, man, we used to do the red sea and the loop in st louis I was 17 years old dude, we were not supposed to be in there.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying? Not at all. We were not supposed to be in there. You know what?
Speaker 1:I'm saying Not at all. We were not supposed to be in there, but the dude heard us play down in Cicero's and was like you know what? Y'all are good, just tell them you're 21. You're good to go. And we were in there and that was experience. That was time actually doing it where now, if I go anywhere, it doesn't matter where I'm at, doesn't matter what stage I'm at, we put me. I literally sent in a cover letter the other day. Put me on the golden globes. Tomorrow I can host that bitch. I'm ready.
Speaker 1:You put the work and it's not because, yes, you put the work in. You know how to bounce off of the moments around you. It's so important and I truly agree with you on the sense of being young and being forced into scenarios with more mature artists, truly guiding me to the place now where I'm talking to people. They're looking at me like an OG and be like yo. You got up there and I wouldn't have known that you didn't know the lyrics, I wouldn't have known that you didn't. And I'm like, yeah, you ain't gonna know. I'm not gonna allow you to know that I'm up here messing up. I was told as a performer, as with old cats, they look at me never apologize for what you do on stage. Do it be confident and keep it moving.
Speaker 4:That's how it came, so you gotta go up there and be ready for it. You're getting old man. They starting to call you OG now you getting old dog. Crazy dude, you getting old dog.
Speaker 1:I still remember going to Andy's Jazz Club in Chicago when I was 22. I went in there and you know being in St Louis, you know everybody over time. In Cape, you know everybody over just like a couple of months If you're gigging, you know everybody. But in Chicago, you know, I don't know nobody up here. They just looking at this young cat. And there was three singers there that day and all of them, of course, knew the people. So they went in before me and I'm sitting there waiting. I'm like this is the game. It happens every time.
Speaker 1:And one of the cats was like hey, before we get you, get this guy up here, he ain't never been up. I was like, oh, okay, and I still remember I did um, they can't take that away from me. Old fred astaire song. And we swung it real hard and fast and I like added an extra a section at the end of it, like did a little bit extra improv on top. And I remember walking off that stage being like I can do anything, saying that was so big. But I was, I was a baby dude, I was so young.
Speaker 1:And if I could see that cat now and be like, hey, I liked what you did, but you were trying to cater to this demographic that was in the room a little too much. Just be yourself. You know that that's the stuff I wish I could throw at me then. But it just takes time. It takes experience. It takes you being in rooms where you kill. It takes you being in rooms where you die. It takes you really running face first into the wall to get to that, like you said, fearless place. I think fearless and being you are the key components to an artist completely finding themselves the glow you know saying bruce leroy glow. Yeah, you gotta be ready to run through a wall and the.
Speaker 4:The third layer to that is you gotta find a little bit of uh, don't give a, don't give a f yeah you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like you gotta find a little bit a lot of let's be, let's be transparent. You gotta find a lot of let's be, let's be transparent. You got to find a lot of bit of don't give a F. Like you, you can't worry about whether people like it. You can't worry about whether people like you. It's a human, innate, you know thing that we have.
Speaker 4:Naturally we want to be liked and we want people to accept us and forget all of that, because at the end of the day, if they don't like you, what are you going to do? You're going to change to be what they like or you're going to still be you and say, you know what, forget them. Well, if that's all you're going to do at the end of the day anyway, then why care, do you? And be unapologetic about it. Anybody who you ask who's their favorite, whatever it is their favorite athlete, their favorite musician, their favorite school principal, their favorite cook, whatever it is their favorite athlete, their favorite musician, their favorite school principal, their favorite cook, whatever my favorite cook, are the people who cook for how they feel. If you feel like you need, they don't even put lemon pepper on that, but you put lemon pepper on it, that shit's amazing what made you put lemon pepper on that.
Speaker 4:Well, I felt like it didn't. Okay, cool, now the next person might not like the lemon pepper, but guess what I did, and I never would have experienced it if that person didn't decide that they was cool to fuck up the recipe and put lemon pepper on it. But guess what? Now it's something that I know, I love and that's my favorite cook now, because they chose to do something that was natural to them and that they loved it. So you know, we dance around and we try to please people too much. If we're bringing it back to the art, the only thing that that does is get in the way of who you are and the definition of your true identity.
Speaker 1:You are a comedian. Your passion, the thing. I know you as is a comedian, and I'm very proud of you for pursuing your career and truly making an effort to do what you do. You're actually out there every night. You're traveling, you're meeting people, you're networking. You're doing what you're supposed to do to get where you want to go.
Speaker 3:How long have you one been a comedian? How long did you think about pursuing comedy?
Speaker 3:actually, this july it'll be nine years, which is crazy to say out loud wow, it's been nine years already technically I started the year before I really started, because I started when I was 17, but I only went on stage one time and then after that I stopped for a whole year and then I started back. So I don't even count the first time I was on stage, but yeah, so this year, this year be July 21st and when you hear me say you are a comedian, what does that mean to you?
Speaker 1:hearing that title?
Speaker 3:that means that, no matter what stage, what situation, you're able to go out there each night and put on a best performance. Be honest on stage, be original on stage. For me that's what it means. For me Some people they might not be as original, but for me it means be original on stage and be honest. Be clear as far as what I want to talk about Make people laugh. That's what it's about. It's really about making people laugh and letting the audience forget about whatever they're going through personally. Come to the show for about an hour and a half, two hours. Enjoy themselves, Get some food, Get some drinks and enjoy your show. Enjoy your night out.
Speaker 1:You said originality is important to you. How often do you write? How often are you?
Speaker 3:putting together concepts. I mean I'm putting together stuff all the time, daily. I don't really sit down and write anymore because when I first started that was something that was kind of difficult for me because I was trying to memorize what. I wrote down everything. I wrote down every line, and that was hard. So I stopped doing that and just started thinking about what I wanted to talk about. And then I might write down a premise or something or a couple lines, and then I'll go and try it on stage and then I'll come back and write it down. I do more like bullet points and stuff now.
Speaker 1:How do you feel comedy-wise? Are you improving? Are you slowing down? Are you losing inspiration? Are you gaining more inspiration? Is it getting better, and how do you feel that the process has been going for you?
Speaker 3:It's been going good. I mean, sometimes you do lose inspiration. I've got into a situation where I might be comparing myself to you know, my peers that's doing this and doing that, and I'm like, why isn't it anything going on for me? So I might lose inspiration, you know, but you can't really think about that. Really, you cannot think about comparing yourself to your peers that do the same thing you do, because it sounds cliche, but what's meant for you is meant for you, yeah, because you're probably doing stuff that they're not doing. You just got to think about that and kind of take everything in and kind of be present in the moment. Like in the moment I'm and I'm starting to get better with this but if something happened, I just kind of do something and then I'll just be like, okay, what's the next thing? I'm trying to get funnier. You can always get funnier. Jokes never over. You can always add to it.
Speaker 3:2023 was kind of rough because I lost my job and stuff, comedy, career, career-wise it was great for me. I was able to check some things off on my list and it's been definitely a process. But I think once you hit these hardships in life, sometimes that's really the way you're able to get a joke out, you know? Yeah, so if something go awry, all you have is the what's funny about this? Yeah, that's what I've been starting to appreciate kind of hone in on like just throughout life, trying to just be more honest on stage and have a clear mind, and this is what I want to talk about. Like, this last year has been great Been able to meet some people, things have been happening, and it's been great.
Speaker 1:Another stop gun violence song. That title got me and really shook me because, like it implies, this isn't the first one.
Speaker 1:No this isn't. I'm not making this because I'm doing something fresh and new. I'm not doing this because this is a new idea that needs to be pushed, maybe no, I'm doing this because nothing's being done and it's been spoken about for years and it's almost like it's a video game. It's almost like we live in a country where we're free, we get to do what we want and if we want guns, we can have guns. And they don't hear the people like me, where I'm like I don't care if you have guns, I care if you mentally shouldn't have guns.
Speaker 8:Right.
Speaker 1:Exactly If you want to have guns and you're perfectly permitted and okay and you're in your right head space and you're out back shooting it at the target practice and you're shooting it at the deers and you're trying to kill that, great, go get your meat, do that.
Speaker 1:But if you, mentally, are unstable and you're building a fortress under your house because of World War III and you're afraid of Mexicans coming into this country, people who are poor and scared and need to be somewhere where they feel safe and, weirdly enough, our gun-toting country is safer than where they're coming from. If that is how you look at this world and say I need guns to protect myself and I'm going to, I'm going to have as many guns as I want and I don't need to tell you if I'm mentally stable or not and I don't care if unmentally stable people are walking around with guns. What are you? What are you talking about? How can you truly say that and believe that and and think that we're going to be able to move our society forward? Period? I get very upset with government, with things that happen in our society, popular culture, ever since I was a kid. I don't know why. I've just always kind of been a rebel towards popular culture.
Speaker 6:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:And I have a lot of friends who are conservative. But the one thing that I always get when I talk to someone directly about gun violence, when it's just one on one, they're a gun toting person. I'm not. I get two answers Mm, hmm. And I asked them about the mental thing and they're like no, yeah, everyone who know what they're doing, who's properly trained, should be able to get guns. And yes, a permit wouldn't be a problem for me. I get that answer usually all the time. It wouldn't be a problem with me, especially if it's just to make sure that we are mentally stable and they're properly chained, because the people who are properly chained despise people who aren't, because they make them look bad and they're taking their guns away, even though they are doing all the right things with their guns that's
Speaker 1:one response and number two, and it doesn't matter what I ask, it doesn't matter what I say, it doesn't matter what the conversation is. And it's a hard lesson. Being in this country and now enlightening myself by going to other countries like Japan and Mexico and going to the Bahamas and going to Ireland and actually seeing the world from other people's perspectives and seeing how they think of us and that's one of the first things you hear outside of this country is, oh man, like, are you afraid? Like people are walking around with guns all the time there, right? And I'm like, wow, that's what they think of us and we, for some reason, can't even talk about it. We can talk about Mexicans crossing the border, even though that's not really affecting our day to day, the way that gun violence is.
Speaker 6:Right.
Speaker 1:Right, I don't even have a question. Yeah, no, I appreciate you bringing attention to it because it is something that I've grown up with. I've seen it. I had a cousin just get shot last year. He's okay, but it's not that far away from me. It isn't like oh man, I've heard of this stuff.
Speaker 6:Right no.
Speaker 1:I have family members that's been shot. I have close family friends who have been murdered. I've seen this, I felt this and, being from St Louis, now living in Atlanta, living in Chicago for as long as I did, living in Los Angeles, all of these places I've lived these big metropolitan cities this is a problem. This is something that needs to be spoken about and there are people doing the work. There is, but their voices are not being amplified because the people on the opposition are finding every way to just eliminate it.
Speaker 6:Yeah, Some of the deep, deep pieces that are so hard to talk about, and it's very traumatic, literally growing up in a culture of gun violence. It's very traumatic when a cousin or family members or friends have been shot or murdered. It's devastating. We have huge mental health issues in this country the lack of emotional safety, the lack of physical safety, the amount of violence. Violence comes from pain. Violence comes from unmet needs. Violence comes from a life where people feel trapped with no way out. People shoot their way out of something, whether it's their own inner demons or the abject poverty or oppression or powerlessness or hopelessness of their life conditions, or powerlessness or hopelessness of their life conditions. There's a huge mental health crisis, and underlying the mental health crisis, I could say, is a crisis of people having basic human needs, whether it's food, shelter, clothing and the right to a livelihood and a right to a safe home or a right to food or a right to just having enough. You know, if there was a way that people could just have enough in many different domains, our world would be so different. Instead, there are ridiculously wealthy people who have enough for a whole country, and then there are people who have absolutely nothing.
Speaker 6:I remember speaking with a woman who happened to be a Mexican immigrant and she came to this country with literally nothing, literally nothing, and one of her brothers still has literally nothing and has gotten into all kinds of trouble. And one of her brothers somehow was resourceful enough that he started his own business so that he has something you know. And just to listen to the suffering of she and her brothers and her mom, who ended up, you know, having no ability to speak the language, no skills that were employable, knowing no one, it's like you're literally out on the street, like you're not homeless because of a drug addiction. You're homeless because, as you said, you escaped a place. That's even worse, but you have nothing and no, nobody and no access to resources.
Speaker 6:I mean, it's like feral kitty cats. The average feral kitty cat lives three years, whereas the average kitty cat who's someone's pet lives 13, maybe 18 years. It's quite a contrast. And there are feral human beings literally walking the streets of life and nobody cares. There is no catchment net. You know I talked about, you know, the holes in the catchment net for the healthcare system and someone said no, they're not holes, they're chasms. There are chasms that people fall through and are swallowed by.
Speaker 1:So there are very deep structural issues about what's missing, that are basic human needs that underlie these crises it's just really refreshing to find myself in a position where, you know, christmas is always a shocker to me. Still, I get so many presents from so many people and my mother really put it in my brain. I don't think my mother understands the mental work she did on me as a kid. She used to say when you get married, I'm cutting y'all off. She used to say that to us all the time when you get married, you're an adult, I'm cutting you off, I'm not paying for anything. She bought me the most gifts this year and I'm like I can't believe I'm still getting Christmas. This bottle of Glen Levitt 14 came from my mama and I'm so grateful and I'm so happy and to be in that position where you know I'm still being looked after and taken care of when I start to work on trying to have a kid. I'm not going to worry about it anymore because I know that my people got me and there was this quote that I read literally yesterday, new Year's Eve, and the quote was talking about how we tend to focus on the negative so much, where we'll have an event and all of these people show up and the first thing we say is, oh, but this person didn't come and it said you need to embrace the people that are there for you, because those people are there for you, are important and they're helping you move through life. And I sat down and I really thought about that.
Speaker 1:That show I did in St Louis. You were front row. You know I still have an image of you and Valencia in my head and that'll always be in my brain. I'll be like, oh, I did that show I did in st louis, you were front row. You know I still have an image of you and valencia in my head and that'll always be in my brain. I'll be like, oh, I did that show november 8th and valencia was still pregnant.
Speaker 1:I still remember her being pregnant in the front row, was booping yeah, she was there, she was excited, she was kicking, she was enjoying the show and my boy, nick table, was in the front row with his woman and I made fun of him in the front row. And it's just so dope to have these people who showed up for me for a sold-out show. I sold that show out. I still had 20 people text me. I can't make it and that always is frustrating when you see, oh, I can't make it, I can't make it. But how can you be mad? When you sold out the show, dominique and all of these people showed love and was so happy and it was some of my best work and that clarity is helping me today be at a nine.
Speaker 8:You know I got a theory on that. When you feel that way, it's because of the person you are. It's like you feel like when you get those no's, you feel like sometimes the people that give you those no's are the people you feel like if you asked me, I wouldn't have told you no, because me asking you this is important, right, and I think the reason why you get so aggravated and you got to look past that because once you start looking past it, you do realize who shows up for you, right, them, the people that you need to pour into. And some of them no's are really like legit no's where you know that person like no and that don't bother you because you like. But if I would have told you no, I know you wouldn't have said nothing to me. Yeah, I wouldn't have. You'd be like all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 8:You better have a damn good excuse, and I'm going to ask you about it later, just not, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you just got to start pouring into people that pour into you. I want people to understand that as we get older, we have to start doing the things that are. And I and the reason why I feel this way is because I lost a parent. Yeah, we're like everybody got an excuse of why they can't do this, why they can't do that like you. They can't do that Like you.
Speaker 8:Talk about the nose and it aggravates me because I know in 10 years, when this person gone, this person gone, this person gone, you going to be knocking at my door expecting me to bring you back, to bring this life into you. Yeah, that you never did for me for the for the last five years, because you got your own thing going and I understand it. But the people who pour into you, you need to pour into them. If those knows that you got, if you really felt like damn, like he really straight, show me. No, stop pointing to that person.
Speaker 8:I know it feels like it's selfish, but it's not. Yeah, because that little water that you pour into them, you can just add it to your mama, or add it to Lil Jon, or add it to Adrian, or add it to whoever that's in your life that's always been there to support you and love on you and do what they need to do. And if they didn't show up, hey man, listen, I ain't gonna show up, but I bought a ticket, yeah, so you could just get it away. Yeah, because little gestures like that people don't understand go a long way. So I tell you, if you hear them no's and they and they know it's like I don't really care, I just invited you because I invited you them cool, but the no's that you really be like I'll talk to you later, or all right, that's, that's fine. If it gets you a little, stop pouring it to him.
Speaker 1:I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. Of course, this was our best of the year, episode episode one, so I have a couple of more coming for you and then we'll close out this year strong. Thank you so much for taking the time to go through this. Hope you enjoy what we spoke about, and I want to shout out everyone who I featured on this episode. So shout out to Bo Lamar, shout out to Cameron Keys, Jessica Trapp, linda Marks, chris Bates, my guy, nick Taborn, taylor Pace and, of course, michael Jordan. Thank you all so much for being on the pod this year. You gave me some incredible moments and I just appreciate each and every one of you so much.
Speaker 1:Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also, tell me your stories. Let me know what you have to offer. I would love to collaborate with you and put something together for next year on the pod. You can tell me more and find me on Instagram at D-O-M. Underscore L-A-M-O-U-R, and you can also go to DonLamorecom. I'm Don Lamore. Much love.
