Embracing the Spirals: Nia Ford's Journey to Natural Hair Acceptance and the Need for Diversity in Beauty Standards

Have you ever felt the weight of generational beauty standards on your shoulders, or had a moment where you truly embraced your natural self? Join us as we walk with Nia Ford of I Bless Faces through a deeply personal narrative, exploring the landscape of generational hair standards and the resilience required to define beauty on one's own terms. From the impact of family beliefs on self-perception to the emotional journey of returning to one's roots, this episode is a testament to the ties that bind us and the strength found in accepting who we are.

This episode isn't just about hair; it's about the tapestry of self-care and growth that comes with it. We navigate through the emotional roller coaster of managing natural hair and the lessons learned along the way. From the misleading hair charts that plague the beauty industry to the dedication required for hair maintenance, Nia's insights and our shared experiences unravel the complexity of natural hair care. It's a conversation that celebrates victories, addresses frustrations, and provides an honest reflection on the beauty and diversity of natural hair textures.

Beyond the personal, we confront societal perceptions and affirm the importance of diversity in all spaces, including professional realms. We discuss the impact of family support on self-image, the misconceptions about black hair growth, and the empowering act of embracing our natural hair. As we close, we underscore the innate beauty in the variety of our hair and the significance of representation in the beauty industry. So, tune in and join the movement towards a more inclusive definition of beauty, one where every curl is cherished.

Stay connected with Nia by following her social media accounts  and website below:

Visit her website to schedule a makeover.
Join her Facebook Community to gain insightful information on makeup.
Follow her on Instagram for visual representation of her art. 

Transcript

Kinetra: 0:03

Welcome to Hair what I'm Saying, where we dive deep into the stories and experiences behind our relationship with our hair. I'm your host, kenetra. In today's episode, we have a special guest joining us. She's the founder of I Bless Faces and a passionate advocate for embracing natural beauty. Please welcome Nia Ford as we explore her journey from struggling with her natural hair to becoming a fierce advocate for self-love and empowerment. Welcome to the Hair what I'm Saying podcast. I'm your host, Kinetra Stewart. Today we have a very special guest joining us Nia of I Bless Faces. Welcome, hey guys.

Nia: 0:40

Hey, and sac passe for my Haitian girls.

Kinetra: 0:43

Girl. What does that mean? It means what's up, all right. Hey, what's good, what's happening, all right. When you were a child, how did your parents discuss or talk about your hair? So, oh, um, was it anything derogatory or first.

Nia: 1:02

I grew up in a single parent household and both um. My father was in louisiana and my mom was in texarkana, so okay, um, I don't necessarily remember derogatory statements from my mom but, my aunt, that's her sister, or your dad's sister, her, her sister, I remember her making a comment one time and she was like you need to do something with your hair because I always look like a bird nest and you were natural at this time oh yeah, this is when you were younger like yeah, I was like a kid, can you do something as the child?

Nia: 1:40

I mean put it in a pony at that time, like my mama, kind of gave us free range to kind of like start putting our hair in ponytails and experiments, because you know like that rite of passage where you have to like learn to take care of your hair Right right. Ok, so I was of that age. But yeah, no, just like you know, like what is it like? I love big hair.

Nia: 1:59

A lot of time. I love big hair. Anybody's ever done my hair or like when y'all like when I put in like my clip-ins. I just love really, really, really big hair and I just always thought it was really beautiful, so I'm gonna wear this fro and she wanted you to tame it.

Kinetra: 2:14

Yeah, she did. She did so. Anything else she would say would just be kind of that, that um it.

Nia: 2:23

I'm trying to really think so. As a kid growing up, I always wanted my mom's texture. How was her texture? Very wavy, loose, very loose, very wavy, and me and my sister have very similar textures. But my mom had this really nice and you would always hear the comments of like good hair. Like oh, you got some really good hair Like. Oh, you got some pretty hair Like like, that's what they would tell it to my mom and she's she's at this time. She was a lighter, lighter complexion um as people age, things happen to their skin.

Nia: 2:54

So um, and then I have a grandmother her mother. I don't want to say she's mixed with something. I don't know what the something is, but it's evident in her features, it's evident in how her hair is, it's evident her skin color, her eye color and so forth. Like my grandma was a baddie back in the day and she really was like.

Kinetra: 3:16

She looked like maya the same oh, okay, so like just real light skin real and she's like beautiful woman especially in louisiana.

Nia: 3:24

That's like back then the idea yeah, light skin, wavy hair, that whole, thing, yeah like she looked like she was creole, even though she's not from there, but she looked, you know, um, like she could have something in her. So like when you hear those comments of like people praising my mom for how her hair was, and then my hair never looked like that, never formed like that. So, to be honest, technically our hair was heat damaged or heat trained, as people like to say, because we were getting hot combs and like, so it was never in its legitimate natural state it never so.

Nia: 3:58

Growing up, I never even knew what my hair looked like outside of a hot comb or blow dry. Being being stretched or anything like that. So I had no idea what hair looked like outside of a hot comb or a blow dry, being being stretched or anything like that.

Kinetra: 4:06

So I had no idea what it looked like okay, and she was like the only one. No one like siblings.

Nia: 4:13

No, my aunt had dreads so my aunt look, my aunt is my skin complexion and she has locks, like her hair. Her hair is completely different. Um, my grandmother had four children and two of them like my mother and her, her brother. They have very lighter complected features, like their hair was different. My uncle has like bluish, grayish eyes or something like that they're not.

Kinetra: 4:37

They're not typical brown and then my other aunt and uncle.

Nia: 4:40

They just look like regular diggler.

Kinetra: 4:42

Black bloat no, okay, so a good little mixture of everything a good blend, all right cool do you feel the words of your aunt? Do you feel like it shaped some unhealthy emotional connections to your hair back then, or?

Nia: 4:55

absolutely. Yeah, like how, um to say that my hair looks in in lack of a better term unkempt. Um, when I loved love, like I'm, when I tell you I loved how big my hair was, um made me feel like, well, you know, like, if my like, maybe I need to make it smaller. So through high school, went through that whole like blonde straight hair you had freedom to really do what you want to do with your hair.

Kinetra: 5:33

I did, yeah, I did.

Nia: 5:35

And I decided to simulate to the beauty standard.

Kinetra: 5:40

The blonde, which is why you did the blonde.

Nia: 5:44

You know, like like just making it long and so forth how did your aunt feel about the new transition?

Kinetra: 5:49

did she ever say something about that?

Nia: 5:51

no, not necessarily. No, I think at this time, um, we weren't in this space in time close okay, um. So I like I saw her, but I'm growing up. The relationship at one point was really close. I loved it. I loved hanging out with my aunt. Like I would go with her, to her um her Buddhist meetings and stuff you know to spend time with her.

Kinetra: 6:18

Yeah, yeah.

Nia: 6:19

Um to spend time with her, but then at this time not necessarily Like we weren't as close, so I wasn't spending qualitative time with her Like any type of quality time with her.

Kinetra: 6:28

So you didn't have to hear those derogatory comments. It's good, it's only. I mean it's not good, but being that it was only one person, yeah, you know, because I hear from siblings, aunts, uncles, moms, dads it's moms, dads. It's like, you know, you can't breathe without someone talking about the texture of you know, a kinkier pattern opposed to others, you know. So it's good, but not good. You only had to receive it from, yeah, just one, just one.

Nia: 6:56

I just think. Maybe for her she wanted me to look presentable, but you know that, yeah, and you know, um, that's what they call presentable. Yeah, and again, that's just assimilating to a, to a standard in corporate america. You know that our natural hair in its natural state, natural form, is not acceptable in those places.

Kinetra: 7:14

It's crazy how we can understand emotionally like that's not acceptable but for some reason, like our parents, aunts, uncles, they gravitate to it with no issues. Like, yeah, you need to do your hair.

Nia: 7:28

Like that's because of how they were raised. Times are a lot, a lot different. My grandmother like when I hear the stories, um, and some of the practices and some of the, just some of the things that they were taught, and I'm just like, wow, I'm so glad I was not born in that time. Yeah, but just some of the things that they faced. And like my aunt shared a lot in her journey in living in Louisiana. My grandmother was being raised in Chicago Like we don't. We weren't even raised to say yes and no, ma'am, because of you know what that?

Kinetra: 8:08

where it comes from. Yeah, it's just yes and no.

Nia: 8:10

Yes, yes yeah, and so I'm just glad we're not there. So for them it's just different, and some of them are a little more open now, thank god, like some of them.

Kinetra: 8:23

Some of them kind of had to force it on them. It's like that, well, this is my hair, like, yeah, y'all like it? Oh well, yeah, yes, yes, yes. So what inspired you to go back natural after your? You know, I feel like you had like a really great experience trying out different things to be in. The space of. This is where I want to be, because when you try more things, you you discover exactly where you want to be. Yes, so what inspired it?

Nia: 8:53

um the growth of self so when I decided that this go around, if I'm letting me grow my hair out, that it was going to be a journey, that my hair was going to be a reflection of the growth within myself, gotcha, and so part of that is taking care of yourself and taking like, and when you take care of you inside, it shows up on the outside and then also like hair care is part of taking care of yourself like proper grooming and so so forth.

Nia: 9:23

So, um, it was that because I was just, like you know, trying out all the different colors, all that, so I had that initial reaction and then I was like, okay, well, I'm just gonna go ahead and let it grow out so I went and I let it grow out and got the green cut off.

Nia: 9:38

And then that's when I was just like, okay, here we are, like this is this, is it you know? Like I'm just gonna go ahead and allow it to start growing out and be a reflection of who I am and let's just do this journey together so um it has definitely not been an easy walk, though.

Nia: 9:57

No, it's not, it has not been an easy walk by any means necessary again to reiterate it, to reiterate what I said earlier, I've only known my hair and it's quote-unquote heat trained and even when I did try the natural um post and, like in my 20s, I was putting color on it, like you know. So I've never, like I've been I don't know, I can't necessarily count the years now six years or so, six years no color. There's no color to my hair. I'm not overly manipulating it, like none of it, like I'm just taking it as it is, and there have been moments that I've cried like share some of that, literally, like in those moments, like what were you feeling, like what were you going through defeated yeah, um, I didn't feel that my hair was beautiful, pretty acceptable, any of those things and what part of your journey did you feel that way?

Nia: 10:56

um, in the beginning, when it first, first, first first started um growing out, like it was at that really funky stage and I really couldn't do much with it and I was just like I like, I don't, I don't like this like, and uh, and I toyed with the notion of just getting it cut back off and just wearing a taper. And I remember sitting in the bathroom trying to get my hair to cooperate. So at the time one of my friends at the time I was staying with her and her husband and she is a licensed cosmetologist and a licensed instructor, cosmetology instructor and she really helped. She was kind of the saving grace in the in the journey in the beginning of the process you got lucky I did.

Nia: 11:40

I got really, really blessed. She got came in with all this stuff and she was like, well, try this on your hair and try this. And she was like all you got to do is define your curls and because I swear like a little. I literally look like a little tenant, like a little fuzzy tennis ball, and I was like I'm like I don't like this.

Nia: 11:56

I literally was in there crying yeah my big old stuff in there boohooing and I was just like I can't, like I just can't, like I want to relax too, like I cannot do this. And she was like you just have to be patient, you have to like learn the styles that work with the growth. Absolutely and so even now I can, I can get frustrated. Well, not so much now at 30, um 30, going on 31, but like 27, 28, 29, like it was still some, still some frustration.

Nia: 12:27

Um, before I started seeing a beautician on a regular basis, um, I didn't think my hair was growing because it literally looks the same length yeah, when it's in its curly state yes, and I was so frustrated with that because my cousin made a comment and she was just like um, she made a comment about my, the growth of my hair, and she was like I just think you're just doing too much with it. I was just like shut up. I'm being honest, I was like, and thinking in my head I was just like shut up, like because her hair she went out. We kind of went natural on the same time and her hair is like long, like it's growing at a rapid pace and mine's I'm not physically seeing the growth it literally in its curly state.

Nia: 13:15

Yeah, in the past couple years it's been the same length yeah, literally an inch and a half yeah, maybe not even an inch, and I don't think this is an inch and a half.

Kinetra: 13:24

Um, maybe it even maybe just an inch. Yeah, an inch, inch and a half in different places, depending on yeah yes, and it's depending on how much stretch, yeah, in the certain areas, yeah, and that is, that was it.

Nia: 13:37

And so I was like okay, well, my hair not gonna grow, then like what? Like I might as well.

Kinetra: 13:42

What am I doing?

Nia: 13:43

yes, um, and it's just, and I would be like because my hair as a kid was never like this yeah, and um even when, even when I'm when I got it bleached and all of that. But that also manipulates the curl pattern. So technically like it's, I guess it's natural, but not really because it had chemicals on it right curly hair yeah so it definitely um changed the the pattern of the curl it loosened, yes, and so I'm just like so what's happening? Like what's happening, like why is my hair not growing?

Nia: 14:13

yeah, so then I started going to uh the salon around where I called 29, 11.

Kinetra: 14:17

Yes, indeed and shout out miss tiffany, go ahead and throw that instagram handle on here real quick yes, the healthy hair coach and uh, the 29 11 the salon it.

Nia: 14:28

It was a saving grace I got in her chair and you know she takes really good care of my hair, because I've actually had one hairstylist, um, and I will not say her name- no, I won't say her name, we're not gonna we're not gonna give her that power, but she made a very derogatory comment about my hair what was it like?

Nia: 14:51

what exactly was. It was something. Honestly, I don't remember exactly what it was, but I remember her disposition, I remember her body language and I remember, like, the tone walk us through it and how like the disposition and she was like the aura. It was kind of like disgust in a sense, like her face was kind of frown was she a natural hair specialist? I don't know if she was natural hair specialist, but she was a cosmetologist okay and she was like this is before I got married. It was before. No, no, no, no.

Nia: 15:19

I mean, this was way before I met my husband at the time that this particular incident happened right but when I got engaged and they saw that I was getting married, they made the comment that, um, and she was like you know, if you want your hair done for your wedding, I can do. And I was just like no, because you was. It was like because I remember her touching my hair and the way she touched it, I had like did a braid out or whatever, and like again, this is me and my journey. So I did like a braid out and she was just like. She said something real snarky and she you know how, like when you hold something that's like wet, and you was like ill, gross.

Nia: 15:56

It was like that it was like that and I was just like no, no, this ain't gonna be a good fit, this not you know, you could never, and then that's a hundred percent um standby. That here has you know it's energy. I mean it holds energy because energy is transferable.

Nia: 16:12

We want to look the scientific terms it does, and so you have to be very mindful, so I was very, uh, cautious about picking somebody to do my hair and um, tiffany was highly recommended and I went and I loved, love, like, loved it. I think we did a, we did a um flat, like a flat twist, and so I could do like a twist out and then and I ooh, I love this and I love the fact that she's patient with me as I'm being patient with my hair. And of course I want to try new things, yeah, but you know she's got my hair so healthy.

Kinetra: 16:45

Like so, so healthy yeah.

Nia: 16:48

And I'm just like wow.

Kinetra: 16:51

You know like.

Nia: 16:52

I'm here, let me come with my appointment, like, wow, you know, like I'm here, let me let me, let me, let me go book my appointment like every time, and I appreciate it so much.

Kinetra: 16:59

That's all it takes sometimes is somebody you know that understands the journey emotionally and mentally, that you're on and also understand how to take care of natural hair and that's why I was inquiring about you know the previous stylist like was she a natural hair? And that's why I was inquiring about you know the previous style was like, was she a natural hair care specialist? Because usually you'll receive that aura energy.

Nia: 17:18

At some point she decided to become one.

Kinetra: 17:20

Okay, because usually you'll receive the energy from a stylist who don't specialize in it and because they don't, they don't know what to do. So they're going to project that energy on you and it has nothing to do with your hair. It's her not feeling confident in delivering. That's all folks, did you experience any natural hair depression on your new journey?

Nia: 17:46

Absolutely, I absolutely did. It was a combination of grief, anger and self-acceptance on. You gotta elaborate absolutely. So I just had to grieve the vision of a beauty standard that was unrealistic during this journey let's be honest, yeah because first, let's talk about the lack, the lack of representation for 4c here. Yeah, let's, let's, let's address that there. There was not, and still isn't, yeah, that much representation, but the time that I started there, there, absolutely was none when I started?

Nia: 18:30

absolutely none. And so when you're seeing these youtube tutorials on how to do these natural styles and my hair not turning out like that, yes, devastated because the process the process, the products, the time. I don't want to sell this. I'm not spending 120 dollars getting the foam rollers, getting this foam, getting that, getting this product, trying this and it like the trial and error.

Nia: 18:55

I've wasted probably thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars yeah um and so like, really just having to grieve that, um, the false. It was just a false sense of self that you know of something unachievable, so being able to accept okay, my hair is not like their hair right, yeah, so what do we do with it? How do we take care of it? How do we love it?

Nia: 19:18

how can we love ourselves with this hair in this moment, um, and just being just angry from the disappointment, you know, and then being angry at my not necessarily at myself, but like, um, it's kind of I don't know how to necessarily explain the wave of emotion, because they would all kind of hit like waves, like on an ocean, so you kind of get hit with them all at the same time, but being disappointed, but being angry because it didn't turn out right, like being frustrated and being sad because you would never, you would never like that's not your story, that's not, that's not your story and that's never going to be it. And so, and then the fact that there's so much lack of representation, why I think like, why I think that, um, podcasts like this matter is so that the conversations can be had right around that because I mean outside of lapita new angle who came out.

Nia: 20:15

Yes, indeed I hope I said her name, right, but she came out, you know, and it's just like wow, somebody that finally looks like me in the sense of hair, like she's a beautiful beautiful, beautiful like natural hair, mercy it looks like my hair, so we're starting to see it, but but still in that same same sentence, the problem is there's not a problem. I wouldn't call it a problem. She's black, but she's not black american okay, like of african yes, yes, yes and so that's how.

Kinetra: 20:47

What do you mean by that?

Nia: 20:50

and since of like. I love to it, but it's just like I wish that there were more people that like grew up here. Okay, and I have that representation still.

Kinetra: 21:03

It's not that often, cause she didn't grow up with that mentality. Exactly, that's right, exactly.

Nia: 21:07

And so, um you know, my, my, my husband, being of literally he is Africanan right from zimbabwe and um, it's funny because we have conversations around my hair all the time and he made a joke one time and I took it so offensively, and because his sisters wear their hair natural and all that and he, like, made a joke but, it was in shona, his, his native tongue, and he didn't know that I was struggling with the image of myself, with his hair, and so when he, when it was told to me in English, I was like that, like that really hurt my feelings what was it?

Nia: 21:45

it was like something. It's like my hair was like kale, like dried kale or something like that. I don't like literal translation from Shona to English is a little choppy, but it was something like that. And then his sister, my sister-in-law, was like I don't know. She was like I don't, she's like you really shouldn't, it's not really. It's a joke like you know, you kind of joke with family and stuff. But this is also the time me and my husband just started dating, so I'm still learning, right and um, you know it was a joke and it wasn't meant to be an insult and he did apologize for it.

Nia: 22:18

And then, uh, and then my sister-in-law, she was like your hair is like soup, is like really really soft, like you know, like. So I wouldn't take it as a as an insult, because your hair is like really really soft and I was like, but you know, I still heard what I heard and I still feel.

Kinetra: 22:31

How I feel?

Nia: 22:32

Yes, yes, yes you know um now, um, it's crazy because of my husband's love story with me. He talks about how I was natural, my hair was in his natural state and I was the most beautiful woman in the world. And like, he loves my hair.

Kinetra: 22:46

Like absolutely loves, loves.

Nia: 22:49

If I go to him and I'll be like I want to put color in it, or you know I'm thinking about this and you should see his face Like the immediate yes. Disapproval from him. Like ah, he'll start saying like some little things that he's showing. He'll be like ah, but you cannot touch my hair. He calls it his hair and I think that that's beautiful and all, but I would really love to see more african americans with 4c hair like surface embrace, yeah, yeah. And in media and social media tv and so forth.

Kinetra: 23:22

Um, because it's always altered in some kind of way yeah, amongst us for sure.

Nia: 23:27

Yes, it is and I think what would. And then, with even with that, within the depression, you would go on youtube and say, hey, I'm looking for 4C, but the girlies were never really 4C girlies, let's be realistic Never.

Kinetra: 23:42

No, I feel like now they have some looseness, more looseness. C-a C-A-A-C.

Nia: 23:48

Yep, I mean A-B-B-A. Yeah, y'all are not. Y'all may be a 3C, you may be a good 4B, but you're not a 4C. Like you're not a 4C.

Kinetra: 24:02

Like that, really kinky tight like how it literally shrinkage. You'll never know the length unless you stretch it out.

Nia: 24:09

Yeah, yeah, that's not y'all, because even even when it's white, like you can see, like how, how loose and wavy, I'm just like y'all not forcing me.

Kinetra: 24:17

So yeah, and that's the thing about that curl pattern chart. That's why I'm believing it, because it really is misleading. And when you get on youtube and you have these influencers, you know, basically stating what they think their hair is, I'm like the curl pattern chart is not really a real thing. You know, it's really hard to say if you are any specific pattern when we all have different textures different porosity, even all the way down to coarse, fine medium, all of that.

Kinetra: 24:49

It's like the the curl pattern chart. It was just really a good way to manipulate us during the journey and monetize, and they did a really great job thousand percent.

Nia: 24:59

Yeah, I don't even think it was a black person. It was like a white man or somebody who came out with it right. I think it was black. I think his name was andre kelly or something like that. I gotta look it up.

Kinetra: 25:07

I don't know if he was black or white, though but I think his name was andre kelly do some research, but it was just because I'm like, you cannot really relate um your hair to the curl pattern chart without considering porosity, and there's no porosity level on that chart. So it's like, why did they push that agenda? But it worked like a charm girl because, well, I tell you, they don't make so much money off of it and they're still making money off of it.

Kinetra: 25:33

It's getting ridiculous out here so. But yeah, that's where I wish we could get mentally referring to our hair from that curl pattern chart. It's like it's kinky coily, kinky curly, or curly or wavy loose wavy yeah the texture is coarse, fine, medium, you know I'm very kinky yeah, and then I got low porosity. Then it's like, oh, this is what I need to do for my hair, based on all of this and not just it's for c, you know yeah because you'll even find a young lady whose hair is, you know, tighter than yours oh, absolutely 4d, you know.

Nia: 26:09

So it's like when does?

Kinetra: 26:10

this curl pattern of letters and a number stop.

Nia: 26:12

You know, it was like just maybe you should design a new chart.

Kinetra: 26:19

Girl, let's design a new chart. So, nia, what were some of the things you hated about your hair? The shrinkage. That's what every kinky girl hates, the absolute shrinkage. So, you love the texture? Did you love the texture? Did you love the texture? Did you kind of?

Nia: 26:36

oh, when I first started out?

Kinetra: 26:37

absolutely not, yeah come on, welcome it's um, it was ugly to me um I. What was your ideal of like nice?

Nia: 26:49

I wanted my mama's girl pattern. I'm gonna be 100 honest, I want. I wanted that like I wanted that wave. Okay, who?

Kinetra: 26:55

give me out like who's a celebrity right now. That kind of is like the texture is very similar to hers. Oh, some weave somebody like.

Nia: 27:03

Give us a visual um, uh, I would say Tracy Ellis Ross, oh wow, um but something somewhere around there.

Kinetra: 27:15

I would say Tracy Ellis Ross, oh wow, but something in there, somewhere around there. Okay, yeah.

Nia: 27:17

She had what they would consider good hair.

Kinetra: 27:19

She do, especially if you from Louisiana. Yeah, lordy, yeah.

Nia: 27:25

She would kind of like the Tracy Ellis Ross. So literally she looked like her hair patterns seemed very biracial.

Kinetra: 27:32

Gotcha. Okay, it definitely gave biracial.

Nia: 27:34

why did you prefer that texture over your kinky curly hair, as in now in my adult because, like I said just, the the the conversation around what good hair looks like like the aesthetic, the the aesthetic, not necessarily like the maintenance and the upkeep. Oh, definitely the maintenance and upkeep, because, let me tell you, as much as I'm still falling in love with it now, it's still very frustrating I have to be very transparent.

Nia: 28:00

Um, like, sometimes I'll walk around with just the mini fro until I go see tiffany, okay? Uh, because washing conditioning, treating all of it, attempting to blow dry, I literally just blow dried my hair for the first time. It was so pretty, oh man and long, very, very for the first time, and I get it done at the salon. I get it blown out, but I'm not the one doing it right. I would much rather pay somebody else to do my.

Nia: 28:27

I have no problem with that at all yeah, and I'm gonna tip you too, because listen because if I gotta try to do it myself it's a lot, yeah, absolutely all right. So yeah, trying to do my hair myself. It can still be very frustrating detangling my hair because of your shrinkage. Yes, yes, so it's like the longer it gets, the thicker it gets.

Nia: 28:54

So I have high density high density, yes, you do very high density hair and it's very kinky, coily and fine, so I need to be careful that I'm not damaging it or causing breakage and like being too rough with it, absolutely like a baby.

Kinetra: 29:10

Is this tiffany educating you? Girl yeah because she right on the money. Yes, like she.

Nia: 29:16

She explained to me. She was like you have high density, but it's fine, and she would even ask me questions. She was like so what was your hair like when it was relaxed? And I was just like you know and I'll tell her some stuff I was like it was pretty much like bone, bone straight. I could never have any body. And she was like, yeah, that's why.

Nia: 29:29

That is why yeah and so we would, you know she would sit and educate me, and so, yeah, you need to work in small sections, and so, literally, the longer it gets, the thicker it gets, and so it takes more time. Like well, you wash, like literally wash days the whole day.

Nia: 29:47

Now like literally it's, it's a full day. I'm not planning nothing, yeah nothing, because I have to wash. I have to clarify that. I need to do like um. I have a um design essential shampoo that is um like a conditioning shampoo and also puts in hydration, um, and I gotta go in and I need to detangle and I'll put on like my little cholesterol or deep conditioning mask or whatever and I let that sit and I have to rinse that, and then I gotta go and like re kind of detangle a little bit and keep them in sections and then either let it air dry or just decide to blow dry.

Nia: 30:22

Now that is an option in my life, but every time I think about it, I think about how long it's gonna take, um, or like put it in twist. I remember I did, I've only done. I remember it took eight hours one time to do micro twist.

Kinetra: 30:35

Oh, my oh yeah, especially micro like and on yourself, yeah, yeah did you take any breaks kind of it took, took me two days.

Nia: 30:44

I did over a span of two days.

Kinetra: 30:45

Yeah, um, oh, you calculated the hours that you were literally um.

Nia: 30:51

I started like late at night the previous night and then, my best friend and and we call ourselves like a nuclear family and we decided to her, her husband, my goddaughter, my husband decided we're going to drive to San Antonio the next day and I still need to finish my hair, so you finish your hair, yeah we like she helped me do it, so it was like two of us like doing a twist and it was.

Nia: 31:13

It was quite, quite it. But then my first time doing and they're so cute but they take so long when I was like I love, I love these micro twists, I could put them up, I can plait them so it can be wavy, and I wore them for my anniversary uh, my second year anniversary and they were really pretty and you know, people was like you should just lock your hair and I'm afraid that if I lock my hair, honestly it's just going to fall out, let's be honest, because it's going to get heavy and my hair's already fine and it can't really take too much weight on it and I've learned that from braids it might not.

Kinetra: 31:40

It depends on locks don't have to be heavy.

Nia: 31:45

It's a whole process.

Kinetra: 31:55

It's more the't supposed to use that stuff. I believe it and it get.

Kinetra: 31:58

It gets locked and trapped in there and so it's all greasy build up, yeah because you really if you use a foam wrap, or even if you just wanted to use some oil, you could definitely have locks and it wouldn't damage your hair you just gotta know who to go to maybe when I turn 40, maybe when I turn 40 child um, because also I like um, you have some very beautiful locks, though, because I always say the kinkier the texture, the better the locks look, and I believe it. Yeah, I'm not committed, that's only. I'm committed to my husband.

Nia: 32:32

Just not the lock. I get it, it's okay. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not. That's just the one thing I'm not committed to at all. But yeah, those, those are some of the stuff I was mad at, be mad about. Now it's just more frustrations, but I'm being more patient and and and and I just be, like my hair gonna do what I want to do now. Where?

Kinetra: 32:52

does the frustration stem from today?

Nia: 32:55

Girl, if it doesn't, it's not so much as bad as it used to be. But if it doesn't quite turn out right, like I mean, like I might be frustrated in a moment, like, oh, it didn't turn out, okay, cool, my hair is gonna do what she want to do. Like I had to adapt that mentality? Yes, because if not, girl, I'm just gonna be mad all the time upset, depressed, I ain't got the time. No, the energy, yeah that's true, that's so.

Kinetra: 33:23

Did you love anything about your hair during this time? Yeah, I love the curl pattern okay, I love the.

Nia: 33:30

I love the curl pattern. I love how sneaky it is, uh-huh like now. I'm like you know what they don't know? They don't need to know how long my hair is you know like it's, and it's so great.

Kinetra: 33:40

Nobody would know how, nobody would even think your hair was that long you couldn't guess.

Nia: 33:42

You couldn't guess it if it was something on a trivia night, and you know how?

Kinetra: 33:44

no, nobody would even think your hair was that long you couldn't guess.

Nia: 33:46

You couldn't guess it if it was something on a trivia night and you know how they like count how many jelly beans are in the jar. How long do you think her hair is? They would never get it wrong yeah, unless they understand unless they understand what's going on yeah yeah, I, um, I really love the curl pattern. When I get some gel to define it, I love it, and I actually love my hair when I'm washing it in the shower and because it's longer.

Kinetra: 34:16

Because that water stretch and it putting that weight on it. I be in there whipping my head.

Nia: 34:21

I whip my head. I whip my head. Yes, I really do. And then, when I get out, the fro itself is bigger. And then I don't know.

Kinetra: 34:29

You can see like it just starts shrinking. Yeah, at least you know your hair is healthy, because shrinkage definitely means good health.

Nia: 34:36

Yeah, and that I do love and I and I am so grateful that tiffany has educated me because I was like one of the things she said. She was like shrinkage means that your hair is healthy and I'm just like well, that is a win-win for me, because I don't want to be bald headed, okay I don't want to give myself traction. Alopecia, yeah, um, I don't. I want my edges. I don't want um pre like any bald spot, like I just don't. I want none of it. My daddy bald headed um but.

Nia: 35:05

I know that it comes for it. You know it's your mom. They say it's based off your mom's side. Um, so like the maternal yes, so yeah, um maternal grandmother, yeah, so I don't really have nothing to really worry about, because, but on my daddy's side I have their texture.

Kinetra: 35:22

Yeah, um, but that's all I can say is I got their texture did any of your siblings get your mom texture, or all of y'all have different textures we all have different textures. Any of them kind of similar to hers at all.

Nia: 35:36

I would say my brother, um, he had really nice like who is it? I'm trying to think um he had light-skinned people here, but he was also light-skinned.

Kinetra: 35:47

What did you call it? Light-skinned people Girl.

Nia: 35:49

Like the light-skinned guys that have their really nice wavy hair.

Kinetra: 35:51

Like the mixed light-skinned guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am done with you.

Nia: 35:55

He did. He had really nice hair. He had really nice hair Me and my sister have very similar. I think hers is maybe just a slight slightly, slightly looser, maybe just a little bit looser and her hair is thicker than mine, so I think hers a little bit more coarse than mine. Um, and then my baby sister. No, she has like they're tight ringlets, but not as tight as my, like they're pretty defined, like you can see her curls um, and her hair is thick, baby, like I hate it for her, okay I remember I remember helping her do her hair as a kid.

Nia: 36:34

No, I hate it for her but it's beautiful. Like her fro it is so dense. Like her hair is highly dense and it's really thick hair.

Kinetra: 36:43

yeah, it's pretty's pretty though. Yeah, very, very pretty.

Nia: 36:45

Okay, see, had I had that, it's okay. I love my hair.

Kinetra: 36:51

Yeah, but yeah. Okay, so are there any other things that you love about your hair besides the curl pattern?

Nia: 36:59

The curl pattern. I do like the fact that it is shockingly long, even though it doesn't look like it how sneaky. It is shockingly long even though it doesn't look like it. Um, how sneaky it is. It's very sneaky. It's like secret for real. Secret age, now for real, um I. It gives me flexibility, though, like I feel like when it's in a short state I look so much younger I look young.

Kinetra: 37:25

You think you feel like when it's in a short state, I look so much younger. I look young. You think you feel like you look older when it's longer, maybe a little bit.

Nia: 37:30

Just a little bit, not a lot, not too much. I mean, I already have a baby face, right? Yeah, you have a young face, yeah.

Kinetra: 37:37

Yeah, so, because when you showed me the blown out state, I'm like you look really young there, for sure, probably yeah, I think just my natural in general just ages me backwards.

Nia: 37:46

It's the grace of god okay, I know that's right it's the grace of god.

Kinetra: 37:51

Yes, indeed okay. So there was a lady that went viral on tick tock making a statement black hair doesn't grow. Did you see that?

Nia: 38:01

I did not she went crazy viral. Why?

Kinetra: 38:04

you ain't seen this to me, I don't know. I wish I would have said because it went so viral though everybody saw it and everybody was stitching the video.

Nia: 38:11

I don't tick or talk. That often, though, that's the problem, I don't like. I get on there because I want to support and I get on there because I need to post. I don't tick or talk I love it. I cannot and I love seeing your content and, like my friends, quote unquote you know that little section that says friends with the people that I really support in the industry.

Kinetra: 38:29

Oh yeah, yeah, down at the bottom, yeah, you just kind of go on there, so I go on there and I watch y'all stuff.

Nia: 38:34

Um and I may scroll, but I'm not like.

Kinetra: 38:52

I think I may visit TikTok maybe once every two weeks or somebody sends something or something like that, and maybe not even like and if no one sends anything, it's not on my radar to visit. This is not the platform. Yeah, so unfortunately to not see that, but that's unfortunate that she. Yeah, I was gonna ask you how do you feel about that statement?

Nia: 38:58

false. Yeah, I feel false. Um, I feel that it's misleading, I feel that it's discouraging for people that want to go on the journey um, is this a black lady?

Kinetra: 39:08

yeah, she black. Is she natural she was wearing a wig? I'm not really sure.

Nia: 39:14

So let's, let's get into this real quick. So here's so, even with that um protective styles, do they really protect right and what is what is considered a protective style? That encourages hair growth and length retention, because that's it your hair is growing, but it may stay at the same length because you're not retaining said length you are splitting ends, your it's breakage is damaged. So of course it ain't gonna look it's gonna grow. It's just like a plant like.

Nia: 39:42

It's like that's right, it's just like a plant like you have to prune a plant I'm a plant, that's right. I understand that so much and you have to it's.

Kinetra: 39:45

It's a. It's just like a plant, like you have to prune a plant. I'm a plant mom, that's right, so I understand that so much.

Nia: 39:48

And you have to. It's a fine balance of that, like you know, taking care of the soil, taking care of making sure it has sun and all these things, and so Moisture and hydration, yes, then you have to treat your hair the same way. So maybe she's natural, maybe she's natural, and um, for her, her protective style with air quotes is a wig and essentially, that's not helping. Let's be honest, the braids are good because it's low maintenance, but if you're not properly doing it, if you're not properly cleansing, if you're not properly getting rid of the build-up if you're not letting your hair breathe um that scalp, baby, and even if you're using that glue, baby you bald edge and bald head.

Nia: 40:24

Okay, um, I'm so done, I'm serious, let's be honest. Like bald head and bald edge no, for real. And then you can contribute to your own alopecia with the tight braids and stuff like that? Um, no, absolutely not. And so with me, with my hair now I'm very cautious about that because I you know, I I'm more aware of it.

Nia: 40:48

You know, I'm always continuously learning, but I'm more aware of it. I'm more aware of my own hair and like what causes all this? I'm just like well, I get braids, but not that often. Um, I'll do this, but you know not that I'm gonna do what I know is really working, so I think that's that's discouraging. Had I seen that video when I first started my journey, I think that would have been messed up for you messed, messed up because you would believe her based on what you were going through.

Kinetra: 41:14

Yes, yeah, it was a terrible message to put out, for sure it really was yeah but do you feel like it's harder for us to retain length opposed to other other ethnicities or other textures as kinky girls? Yes, I agree with that, and maybe she probably should have said that yes, and not that our hair, everyone hair is always growing, unless you have a medical concern but your hair is always growing what are you doing after it?

Kinetra: 41:41

grows so I do agree. You know, like us agreeing, you know like it's harder for us to retain length, but our hair is gonna grow oh it is.

Nia: 41:52

Yeah, you just have to know that your hair is my hair. I'm gonna speak for my hair, yeah my hair is super fragile yes, no, no, no, no we're not gonna say fragile, because fragile is a negative, it has a negative concept, it's very delicate.

Kinetra: 42:06

Let's say delicate and vulnerable.

Nia: 42:08

Yes, yeah, very vulnerable and once you learn that about your hair, then you start to treat, think and act differently when it comes to it yeah, um, because some girls, some girls can be really rough with their hair and it's just be like you know you be watching the videos.

Kinetra: 42:25

You be like child.

Nia: 42:27

I could never I could never okay are you watching the videos?

Kinetra: 42:31

like she's just raking through this?

Nia: 42:34

yes, yeah, and that's not me, that's, I can't use a fine tooth comb unless I'm pardoned absolutely not, I can't your hair, finger, finger detangling more than anything, and once I get all those tangles away from each other. You can take one of them.

Kinetra: 42:50

Unbrush me brushes yeah that's it, but girl, no, you have to know the hair texture and how to respond to it. For sure you do. Yeah, I do.

Nia: 43:00

That's unfortunate for her. Now you got to send me that video.

Kinetra: 43:03

I'm definitely going to send you that video, Absolutely yeah. So Now you got to send me that video. I'm definitely going to send you that video, Absolutely yeah. So when you are at your networking events and you're trying to promote your business and gain clientele and you know, with Austin being predominantly white, you know these surroundings and areas tend to be predominantly white and you're wearing your natural hair, how are you perceived? That is a loaded question. Let's get into it, girl, that is a loaded question.

Nia: 43:34

I think it's a loaded. It's a loaded question, but it's a very valuable question. Um so, to start off, the fact that we are in a predominantly white um city area and so forth. Yes, it makes it all the more. I'm trying to think like how can I explain this? It makes it like a little bit more heightening right, like you're a little bit, a lot more self-aware and as a business, yes, a lot more, yes, yeah, yeah yeah, where you um come from, where you predominate, you're not the minority, you're the majority and you move somewhere else and you're the minority right, literally the minority

Nia: 44:11

uh-huh. Um, it makes a difference. It makes. It makes a difference. So, um, wearing my natural hair. So when I first started networking and establishing my business, establishing the brand, establishing the name, establishing the connections, I was so self-conscious about my natural hair that I covered it. I covered it a lot, like I would wear how would you cover it? Wigs, okay, and not for the sake of being fun and creative but really just for accepting Really hiding your hair.

Kinetra: 44:43

What texture would the wig be? Girl, straight Gotcha.

Nia: 44:48

Straight, and then if I did do natural, I would do um, I have these clip-ins that I absolutely love, but it would be like big curly, like to give like volume and length okay, on it um. So it doesn't look like this one and a half inch that it is now. Um. So, or I would do head wraps, I would do head wraps I would do a lot of like um head wraps that mimic, like a lot of the ones that you see, like the african pictures, like the tall ones and stuff.

Nia: 45:16

So I would have head wraps and things like that and, um, you know, and I would occasionally wear it out. And then you get comments where a couple won't be like oh my god, you look so cute or you know. A lot of people say, oh, I barely recognized you or yeah, I wasn't recognizable.

Nia: 45:31

or I look really young, I look like a kid, um, and you know, um, which is great, I guess, but I'm gonna touch on that. But I distinctly remember this one comment that a white lady told me Someone that I was networking with. We were in a kind of like a breakout room or whatever. This was still during the pandemic, so this was over Zoom, but it was in another room, like we were in another little session or whatever. And she said to me she was like Nia, I don't think there's anything wrong with your natural hair.

Nia: 46:06

I think it's beautiful, but I think you look better with long straight hair and the audacity, the cock, girl, girl, it's like um, I wouldn't call it a micro aggression necessarily, because that was aggression that was aggression was micro that was macro. It was, it was, it definitely was. And then to be said in front of other people, um was very disheartening and I was just like you know, and of course you have to kind of like brush it off because you don't want to become the stereotypical angry black woman, right?

Kinetra: 46:39

it's like you can't even advocate yeah, it's, because if you do, you feel like you are being problematic. It will make you, oh, absolutely feel like you're absolutely 100, 100.

Nia: 46:49

So you have to be very, very, very, very, very careful on how you choose to respond and how you choose to word and like, because there that was an opportunity to educate, but also that was a very jarring comment so I was not in the headspace to educate, I automatically wanted to go into defense but I went into the offense and was just like, oh, you know, like yeah, yeah, you know, just kind of laughed it off, like we normally do, to keep the peace for them, not for us yeah, which is unfortunate.

Nia: 47:17

Um so, and then you know, back to the earlier comments, you know saying like I look younger. That is true, but sometimes I feel like they say that so that way they can disarm themselves or feel good about themselves, like I don't necessarily seem a threat. Um, because it's not like they're not complimenting it. Um, they're not complimenting my hair in a sense of like it's still very beautiful, or anything like that like they're giving me like.

Nia: 47:40

It's very childlike, so I'm not being looked at as a grown woman that's running a business yeah, yeah and I'm just like that's. You know that could be a little problematic. Um, yeah, so I've dealt with. I've dealt with that, I've dealt with that, and so, um, now I just for me.

Kinetra: 47:56

I just I'm like, if you don't know what to say, it's okay to not say a damn thing. It is like why do you feel like you have to say something?

Nia: 48:06

because it's the lack of self awareness when you and this is a little bit of soapbox, but when you go centuries and centuries and centuries, of a group of people being able to say whatever when to another, however, group of people and, and, and, and.

Nia: 48:28

there's always repercussions, like, like, if we go back to slavery, like if, if you talk back to mass or if you, even when they were freed, if you talk about like they would drive by and come and do something to your house, could pull your kids out, and so, and so when you have that, it's like it's just generations of something that's just ingrained in their d. But we be honest, cause if we can pass, if we can pass down that trauma for 14 generations in our DNA, those same learned behaviors and things like that are passed down in yours.

Kinetra: 48:54

Let's be honest. Let's be honest, cause, like it don't go nowhere, it's being passed down, yeah, um but I just think that it is.

Nia: 49:02

They just lack the self-awareness and the common courtesy and respect, right, because like me saying to somebody, I mean this said person. You know, if I didn't think they look good in something or if it wasn't flattering on their shape, maybe you should wear, you know like yeah, I think that looks gorgeous on you but I think maybe more gorgeous better. It's a lot more flattering on your feet, you know, and um it's like why am I adjusting to make you feel? Comfortable.

Kinetra: 49:28

I'm good honey.

Nia: 49:29

Yeah, you just uncomfortable with my hair and I and I'm I'm walking in that I posted around New Year's. I think it's New Year's or this year um, and I was like I'm I'm gonna be better about really just wearing my natural hair more out um and more excuse me more post about my natural hair like and then you know, and I think I've done quite a good job, and so now even when I do slip into my wigs. It's really just to be because you want.

Nia: 49:57

Yeah, it's for me, it's not, it's literally not for them.

Kinetra: 50:00

It's literally for me, and that's a more freeing decision versus being trapped, feeling emotionally trapped and confined to put on the wig, knowing you don't want to do it.

Nia: 50:11

I want to be sexy for my man.

Kinetra: 50:13

I know that's right.

Nia: 50:15

I'm going to turn into Tina tonight.

Kinetra: 50:18

I cannot do. Can you express the importance of diversity and representation in the beauty industry, specifically for natural hair? And especially with you being in the beauty industry? Yes, like expressing that diversity.

Nia: 50:34

So the first thing. First I'm going to talk about the bridal industry.

Kinetra: 50:38

And talk about the diversity there, come on.

Nia: 50:42

Let me start with my own story. Yeah, please Me, and my husband turned three this year. Oh, for me, one of the things and one of the reasons I wanted to work with you, um, for for bridal, however, you know scheduling and all that, or whatever um was the fact of the lack of representation in the bridal industry for natural hair, and I wanted to honestly embrace everything about me on my day because I wanted to highlight the best parts of me, right, um, and do something that I didn't have to, like put heat on my hair and stuff like that. And so I had stopped tiffany out at first and she was like really, really busy, and she referred me to you and um, I looked at, looked, looked you up, and I don't think, I don't, I don't, I don't, honestly, I don't know.

Nia: 51:42

Be honest, I don't know what happened? I don't know necessarily if it was a scheduling thing or not you killed it, though yes. We need more representation in the natural hair space for this when you go to Pinterest. You're not seeing. You don't see it.

Kinetra: 52:02

It's always the loose textures. I'm speaking more for black women, like it's really rare that you're gonna see somebody embracing texture, like I'm telling you I I've got. I can count on my hands how many brides have inquired and they want to embrace texture in their hair for their wedding day. It's usually a weave that's like brazilian wavy. Tell me about it.

Nia: 52:26

Yeah, they don't really want to talk to the class, so I don't know listen, and that was part of my my thing. So when I realized that there was literally nobody here, to do it outside of tiffany and then, referring to you, there was nobody yeah, and I was like that's not, that's a problem you know, and that is why I march and advocate so hard for it.

Nia: 52:54

So I love when a bride says um, because I always tell them mom, I like to, I specialize in heat free. Um, natural, natural styles, um, because we get to really allow your texture to shine Right and so, um, I think that it is beautiful when a bride comes to me and be like oh, I really want to wear my curly hair. Yes, and I'm always disappointed when someone has curly hair and they want to pull it, make it loose.

Kinetra: 53:19

They want to loosen them curls, they don't want to baby.

Nia: 53:21

They want it straight, yeah.

Kinetra: 53:30

They want, yeah, they want, they want to blow out, they want to still price. And I'm just like, why like? Because, especially if you wear, your hair like that all the time, like this, but then, for this one occasion, you want to pull your curls.

Nia: 53:36

Yep, all the time, yes, it happens all the time so I think it's really important because what what we're starting to see um is social media is is the influx of accessibility and very the ages to the accessibility and exposure is are becoming younger and younger.

Kinetra: 53:55

And.

Nia: 53:55

I think it is very important that we have that representation, because there could be somebody on the other side of that screen that looks like you and if we are not careful, we we will not interrupt the cycle or the beauty standards and norms that have already been set before us yeah.

Nia: 54:14

So we have to be mindful of that. We have to be mindful of the messages we put out when it comes to here in the beauty industry. Um, it's black, little black girls, cause I say it all the time when people say, well, what made you you know like, um, what made you you know like and what made you do this, and what made you got you into this and like and why I'm so passionate about it in the bridal industries? Because when our love stories were being told like this, wasn't it?

Kinetra: 54:36

you know this wasn't it.

Nia: 54:38

Now it's like everybody wants to, and I feel like us as a people, we're so uniquely beautiful, beautiful. Let's embrace every aspect of that. Um, yeah, and so I'm starting to see a little bit more and more. There are a couple of hairstylists on instagram that I do follow that will do like kind of more on the natural side of things and they'll um, I've seen this one hairstylist. She like did, like, like a.

Nia: 55:05

It wasn't necessarily a big sin, crochet, no, she just crocheted like, maybe like a square in the middle to give like um some volume for the pin-up that she did, for the updo that she did so it was still very kinky, kinky straight hair and it was very textured.

Kinetra: 55:21

Yeah, I just want to see some texture and it was gorgeous and I was like I need more of this.

Nia: 55:25

I need more of this in my life, I need more of this in my field and I think heavily that we should see more diversity in the hair texture space. Yeah, um, especially for the quote-unquote 4c girls, but they're really kinky kinky coily girls, because I couldn't find that, I couldn't find an inspiration, literally there's. I have one pin post and, um, she just had at the time my hair, the length of my hair, wasn't gonna do what her hair was doing okay, and I think her hair is shaped cut for this style like, like, I feel like she probably just wears this really cute little short um fro whatever and it was.

Nia: 56:03

It was out like that and my hair wouldn't do that, yeah and that was about it and I'm just like we need more, we need, we need, we need more. Because if you go to where, if you try to source where the kinkier coiler, your textures are like if you look at the nigerian weddings or the ghanaian weddings um south, um, south africa weddings they're putting wigs on and then you know they have this hairigs on and they have this hair. A lot of them have this hair, but they're wigs.

Kinetra: 56:33

I've styled only one African woman's natural hair. The only thing I used was a cushion to create her chignon bun. That was it, but that was the only. I've done a lot of African wigs, especially being in the DMV Tons, and she was the only. I've done a lot of african waves, especially being in the dmv tons, and she was the only one.

Nia: 56:52

Well, I did an ethiopian lady but that texture is still very different.

Kinetra: 56:54

Yeah, that texture and so um, but those are the only two. Other than that, it's gonna be a wig, it's gonna be a frontal, it's gonna be a sew-in, it's gonna be added hair it's gonna be. It's gonna be something straight, yep, something straight every time, every time can you share a pivotal moment or experience that led you to accept your natural hair, or was it something gradually that happened?

Nia: 57:20

I believe it's gradual um. So I'm a daddy's girl, that's good like I love my daddy, like we talk every day. Literally, he called me while I was here. Um, we talk every day, he texts me every morning and two things, two things, two things. But but I have to attribute a lot of this to my dad first. Okay, he will make comments and he'll be like what you doing with my, my hair? What are we going to do with my hair today?

Kinetra: 57:47

You know my hair.

Nia: 57:48

You know he took ownership of my hair and it's the way he talked about it. Like he kind of my daddy. When he talks about my hair he coos over it in such a loving way in such a loving way. He was like yeah, that's my hair, you know um, it's just so soft, it's like, you know, like he was saying, it's like soft, like cotton and stuff that is soft texture.

Kinetra: 58:11

That texture, you got it super soft.

Nia: 58:13

Yes and so he will be like yeah, my hair, my hair and again, my daddy bald head is so that really matters, though, for the dad to show up in that space like that because it's.

Kinetra: 58:24

Some black women have faced, you know the exact opposite, where their dad was not okay with it and would make terrible comments towards it, so that helps out a lot emotionally it does, and so the type of love and the bonding with my daddy like I hold his commentary to the highest esteem that it makes such a difference.

Nia: 58:49

People are like, oh, what are we doing? My hair today, oh, our hair is pretty today. You know and and and just feeding those reaffirming positive comments like those very loving, loving comments. And then my husband also taking ownership. You know, like him also being patient, like, like, because he's seen me have a couple of breakdowns before he would like come and hug me, and he will be like well, babe, like how can I help you?

Nia: 59:16

I love the moments of intimacy that are surrounded around my hair, with me and my husband. Um, he will scratch my scalp, he will will shampoo my hair.

Kinetra: 59:25

He will help me detangle.

Nia: 59:27

He has even tried to like, help me do like twists, like two-strand twists and stuff, and so like I'll just sit down and he'll like massage, Like he'll like grease my scalp and then like massage and moisture. He loves playing in my hair and he always makes the comments he's. He's like, you know, it's just me practicing for my future daughter, so that intimate space is in the bonding.

Nia: 59:51

Like my husband loves my hair, my daddy loves my hair and they're here cheering me on as I continue to fall more in love with my hair it matters, it does matter it definitely matters. It definitely matters who's in your corner.

Kinetra: 1:00:05

It definitely matters who's in your ear when it comes to that, it definitely matters who's in your ear. And the feedback that's the most important are you know the people that are closer to you? Yes, you could be feeling so damn good about your hair, what you done done to it and that one person that mean everything to you, questioning, and now you're questioning.

Nia: 1:00:31

It's like you know I was good before I saw you and I'm glad you said that, so I'm gonna take this back. Yeah, when I was 18 I had a boyfriend at the time and I was running time I first went natural 18, going on 19 or whatever, and I came home with it all cut off and yeah the reaction to that was so negative yeah, yeah.

Kinetra: 1:00:42

What do you say I?

Nia: 1:00:43

was called a little boy. I was laughing. Yeah, well, you know, x is examples.

Kinetra: 1:00:49

Examples that's right. That's why he back there. Yeah, back, way back, way back.

Nia: 1:00:54

But yeah, he would he was just would make fun, uh, make fun of it. And he was like, oh, you need to grow that back. You need to grow that back. I can't, I can't be. Um, intimate is what I'm going to say with someone who looks like a boy, you know, just stuff like that. And I was just like, oh, okay, yeah, horrible, yeah.

Kinetra: 1:01:14

What advice would you give other young black women who may be struggling with their natural hair?

Nia: 1:01:21

Ooh. First I would say be patient, but I know that it's easier said than done. Allow yourself. You're human, it's okay to feel however you feel. But the one thing I would definitely suggest is do not act on impulse. Space off those feelings don't do it. You've made some impulsive decisions, you, you feel um, no, no, um, maybe when I first like early 20s yes, but now no. But you've thought about it, so that's why you like, don't do it yes, don't, and I know if I thought about it like being frustrated.

Nia: 1:02:02

I'm like man, what if I just cut my hair off? I don't have to do this anymore, right, like I can just cut it all off.

Nia: 1:02:07

And um, because it is a journey, it's quite literally a journey and so you need to lean into your, your um humanity a little bit and understand that with the journey is going to come the ups and downs is going to come, um, all types of emotions, and that's okay and best practice, um that I could encourage is to do a hair journal. You can vlog it yeah, write it down take pictures, but just really so you can capture the moments in your journey. So, and that way, if you ever just look back over it, you can really have so much gratitude towards it because I'm so grateful for the journey and like of my hair now, like I really am just so grateful um.

Nia: 1:02:50

I encourage, I 100% encourage that and I encourage that. If you see a space is needed, yeah created.

Kinetra: 1:03:00

Created um.

Nia: 1:03:01

It's funny because we, before we started recording, I said that I had recorded a meat like blowjob.

Kinetra: 1:03:07

Yeah, the review and.

Nia: 1:03:08

I had decided when I recorded that initially I was like I think I'm going to. It's not enough for C representation. I'm going to start something because it's not enough.

Nia: 1:03:18

It's not enough places to go and look for inspirations. It's not enough of anything for this. So where do we, where do we go to find, you know? So create the space and if you see that it's lacking, if you see it's not enough, even if you feel like it's oversaturated child, it's a lot of bread in the bread, on the bread it ain't never oversaturated, so it's never, never, never okay because that's the case why we got so many grocery stores.

Nia: 1:03:41

So think of it like that like we have. We have a lot of like. There's a bunch of cars. All the cars do the same thing. They have to serve the same function, but there's a plethora of them. So don't think that your story doesn't count, don't think that your voice is not worth being heard. Insert yourself boldly, beautifully, and be proud about that incision absolutely and that's what I would recommend.

Nia: 1:04:05

Yeah, a thousand percent. I wish I would have had somebody tell me this when I was in my 20s but you know, yeah wisdom comes age and age come well not an experience.

Kinetra: 1:04:14

You had to experience that in order to arrive there, you know, mentally you know, and also learning how to do your hair that helps. Once you learn what to do, it becomes a lot, you know, less challenging. You know it's like makeup.

Nia: 1:04:29

It's literally like that once you get your formula down people always ask me like why, how can you do your makeup in 10 minutes? Because I, I know, I just know, yeah, it's a wash rinse, repeat. So when you do that with hair and you get your formula down and you already know what's gonna work and you don't have to go through all of this.

Kinetra: 1:04:46

You are, you know the time all of it is just a lot more easier to manage. Yeah.

Nia: 1:04:51

A lot more easier to manage. Okay.

Kinetra: 1:04:55

Okay, nia, thank you so much for coming on the Hair. What I'm Saying show we really appreciate your story. Please let our listeners know how we can all stay in connection with you all, right, well?

Nia: 1:05:07

thank you for having me so you guys can follow me on instagram at I bless spaces, underscore artistry. I'm also I bless faces on tiktok and I also have an I bless faces beauty community on facebook that you can join um and you can follow my. You can follow my Facebook page or send a friend request at Nia Ford and if you're ever interested in wanting to learn more about makeup because I am here to teach women to become the masters of their own glam so if you ever want to learn how to do your makeup or you ever have questions, you can always go to my website at wwwiblessfacesartistrycom and join the subscription list to get the emails for the classes that we host. I believe those are all of my channels. If I'm missing any, I'll let you know.

Nia: 1:06:01

Yeah, we'll add them in the show notes yes, absolutely, but I would just love you know just just Instagram for sure. I'm there a lot, um, that's my my medium there in Facebook, but I love to just create communities. So if you're wanting something that's a little more private, you can definitely join my Facebook community and that wraps up another enlightening episode of hair.

Kinetra: 1:06:25

What I'm saying? A huge thank you to our guest, nia Ford, for sharing her inspiring journey with us. Remember your hair is a beautiful part of who you are and embracing it is a powerful act of self-love. Join us next time for more insightful conversations about all things hair. I've been your host, kenetra. Until next time, no-transcript.