Our journey doesn't end with recognizing the need to ask for help; it's also important to communicate what we need, build a strong support network and practice self-compassion while facing life's challenges.
This episode emphasizes the value of meaningful connections especially when going through challenges. It also reminds us to be aware of the often deceptive nature of online personas when we find ourselves going down the comparitive rabbit hole.
Knowing when to seek support, how to communicate our needs, lending a helping hand, and choosing reliable confidants are all key topics discussed. Let's not overlook the crucial role of self-compassion in overcoming obstacles and navigating moments of distress.
0:00 The Power of Asking for Help 13:46 Importance of Support and Self-Compassion
Join in as we set on a journey toward greater resilience, authenticity, and the deep connection found in both giving and receiving support.
The information provided in Midweek Insights is for general informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Listeners should seek professional advice relevant to their specific circumstances before making any decisions.
While we strive to provide accurate and up-to-date information, the dynamic nature of certain topics may result in changes or updates. Midweek Insights does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or suitability of information discussed in the episodes.
Guests on Midweek Insights express their own opinions, which may not necessarily align with the views of the host. We encourage listeners to form their own opinions based on additional research and diverse perspectives.
Our journey doesn't end with recognizing the need to ask for help; it's also important to communicate what we need, build a strong support network and practice self-compassion while facing life's challenges.
This episode emphasizes the value of meaningful connections especially when going through challenges. It also reminds us to be aware of the often deceptive nature of online personas when we find ourselves going down the comparitive rabbit hole.
Knowing when to seek support, how to communicate our needs, lending a helping hand, and choosing reliable confidants are all key topics discussed. Let's not overlook the crucial role of self-compassion in overcoming obstacles and navigating moments of distress.
0:00 The Power of Asking for Help 13:46 Importance of Support and Self-Compassion
Join in as we set on a journey toward greater resilience, authenticity, and the deep connection found in both giving and receiving support.
The information provided in Midweek Insights is for general informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Listeners should seek professional advice relevant to their specific circumstances before making any decisions.
While we strive to provide accurate and up-to-date information, the dynamic nature of certain topics may result in changes or updates. Midweek Insights does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or suitability of information discussed in the episodes.
Guests on Midweek Insights express their own opinions, which may not necessarily align with the views of the host. We encourage listeners to form their own opinions based on additional research and diverse perspectives.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to Midweek Insights, where we explore the power of connection and support in navigating life's challenges, where we seek out and look for inspirational people, ideas, practices that can and do help make a difference in how we show up for ourselves and others. And in today's episode, we are diving into a topic that I think touches us all. Into a topic that I think touches us all. It's the topic of whether we should reach out and ask for help or not, and help in all areas of life, whether it's the small everyday struggles or these big, monumental obstacles we face. When it comes to asking support, it can be transformative and it can be an act of courage to reach out and get the help we need. So we often underestimate the impact of reaching out for help, but according to experts in psychology and in mental health, it's one of the most effective ways to cope with difficulties and one of the most effective ways to cope with well-being. Research consistently shows that human connection is important for our emotional and mental health, shows that human connection is important for our emotional and mental health. Dr Brené Brown is the well-known researcher on vulnerability and shame, and she emphasizes how important vulnerability is in the way we show up in life, but also she sees it not as a weakness but as a strength, as a measure of courage and as a way of being seen and heard as we are authentically, and especially when we're struggling. This could be very, very hard and is hard for all of us. I know, and I struggle with this many, many times, because there is this stigma of feeling that when we do open up ourselves, we are weak and we we become vulnerable. But this is often the time when we most connect to others and when we really share that part of ourselves, others can see the part of them that connects. So by reaching out and getting support from others, we not only get practical assistance, but it also validates our experience and our emotions and this, according to Dr Johan Harry, the author of Lost Connections, highlights the importance of social connections, the importance of them when it comes to combating depression and anxiety. How many times have we felt down or upset and had something on our minds, but then, by reaching out and even if it wasn't to discuss the problem or whatever it was that was on our mind, but reaching out and connecting to someone, we forgot and this is something we tend to brush aside but the power of connection and the power of reaching out can be so helpful in so many ways. He also argues that in modern society we have this strong emphasis on individualism, on self-sufficiency, on go-getting and doing it all on our own, and this is what leads to loneliness the loneliness epidemic, which is making it more crucial than ever to reach out and to connect.
Speaker 1:
But even though we know that it's helpful to reach out and ask for help, it's very challenging and Dr Sherry Cormier, a psychologist and a grief counselor, also explains these societal norms and stigmas surrounding mental health, and this often discourages people from reaching out and asking for support when they need it the most. This reluctance to ask for help can make the feelings of isolation grow and also contribute to worsening mental health outcomes. But there is good news the simple act of reaching out, whether it is to a friend, a family member, a colleague, a health professional, can be game-changing. By seeking help when we're struggling emotionally, we not only start to alleviate our own suffering, but also prevent it from festering and being carried into further and deeper significant issues down the road. So I want to share an example of what got me thinking to address this topic today, a simple personal anecdote which is a little bit embarrassing, to be honest, but yeah, I'm going to share it anyway.
Speaker 1:
So I needed to fill in a basic form to apply for a refund online, and I'm in Cyprus, and the form was in Greek and, of course, there's a translate button. So the Greek didn't make much sense to me, although I can speak it and communicate it and read it. Sometimes when it's an official document, it's very techie and the language just doesn't always make sense to me. Maybe it's just me, but it doesn't. And there is a translate button. But just to give you some perspective here, I translated at one point my father's name when I'd had to fill in a form for him on the same website, and it did a literal translation. So my father's name is Neofitos Kiriakou. So when I translated click the translate button, it literally translated, which is the literal translation of neofidos neo, which means new, and fidos, which means plant. So together it translated the word as new plant. So my father's name became new plant and the surname became, which is kiriagou, which is similar to sunday became sunday. So my father's name was translated not phonetically into Neofitos Kiriakou, as it should have been in English, but as New Plant, sunday. So my father has a new nickname now. He is New Plant Sunday and my son is named after my father. Therefore my son is New Plant too.
Speaker 1:
Now this got me really confused, so the website was very difficult. I needed to apply for a refund on this form and I was running out of time because there was a deadline on the application. So I kept procrastinating because every time I would get onto this form it didn't make sense and it seemed like a seemingly simple little thing of just get on, find the right link, follow the steps, add the documents and be done, submit. It just didn't. It did not work and I had this mental block and I just couldn't find, even with English translation, even looking at the Greek, and I was like I kept putting it off and a couple of weeks turned into a month, almost two, and I was like I'm going to miss out on the deadline for this refund and I need to do something about it. And I just kept brushing it and brushing it aside and of course you know when you have that thing that you need to do, that you can't tick off that to-do list and it just keeps festering.
Speaker 1:
So it did make me feel quite stressed and I was like who can I ask? My parents can't help me with this. They're not tech savvy, they don't understand these forms either. What can I do? So my neighbor popped into my mind and I was like, okay, I'm going to ask her. This is embarrassing, but I'm going to ask her. So my initial fear of reaching out for help was this is so embarrassing, I'm going to look really stupid, but I need to get this done. So I did reach out and, of course, she was so amazing and so willing and happy to help. And within 40 minutes, she sat by me and just guided me, reassuring that every step I was clicking on was in fact quite accurate. So that felt really good and I finally got it done.
Speaker 1:
But think, if I had asked for help earlier, it would have taken away a lot of the stress, and this could be from the smallest of things to reaching out for help when we are really struggling. And it made me think about why is it that we don't reach out for help? What are the reasons that we are so determined to look strong and look like we know it all, or afraid to come across as not being competent? And so, yeah, I risked it. I'm glad I did, because it would have still been festering and sitting there not being done out of pure procrastination and worry that I'm just going to get the steps wrong and it's just going to waste more time and I've got other things to do and I don't have time to waste on this.
Speaker 1:
So asking for help, reaching out and it could be from the simplest of things to the bigger things so with that, it made me think about, you know, asking for help being a crucial step, whether it's overcoming feelings of loneliness when we are overwhelmed and there's some information that can help us. So research shows that reaching out for support can have numerous benefits on our health, mental health and studies also show that social support can help us against the negative effects of stress, reducing these symptoms of anxiety and depression and improving our overall psychological resilience. And also we connect with someone when they're sitting with us and we've reached out. The other thing I realized when I asked my neighbor for help and I remember her response was amazing and I'm like well, how do I feel when people reach out to me for help? And, to be honest, I enjoy helping. When someone comes to me and I can help them, I feel good, and this is what we also forget about. People are happy to help in most cases. I guess it depends on who we're going to. But finding the right person for the right thing, that's also important.
Speaker 1:
What are the barriers to asking for help? So we know there are so many benefits, we know we can get so much from assistance. We also don't want to overburden people with too many requests or there she comes again, she's asking for help again. So we do want to take on things on our own in many cases. But many people struggle to ask for help when they need it. And there's this fear of judgment. This fear of judgment, fear of rejection, concern about being a burden to others. And, again, stigma. When it comes to more subtle concerns and more vulnerable shares, we're worried. There's a stigma attached around mental health issues especially. So understanding some of these barriers can help us to develop strategies to overcoming them. There's also cultural and societal factors, so some cultures can also influence the individual's willingness to go out and seek help. So while some cultures prioritize the self-reliance, this independent spirit, it makes it more challenging for those individuals to admit being vulnerable to ask for support. Recognizing this and challenging these norms can help us to create a more supportive environment where asking for help can be seen as a sign of strength rather than weakness. In Cyprus, there's a very beautiful, strong culture of support.
Speaker 1:
Now, when I first had my children, it was the time I became closer with my own parents and my family, because I did need to reach out. I did need the support. As a full-time working mom, I needed to reach out for all the care and support Of course, my husband and my parents, my aunt, who was such a help as well, and my parents, my aunt, who was such a help as well. I cashed in on all the support I could get and we are quite blessed in some cultures to have that family support. But not everybody and not every family has this. So it's important to reach out and find other ways or other groups, other friendships or even mutual support systems. Where I've helped you, can you help me. It is so important to reach out and get this support. We are not alone. We need it. We all need it, sometimes more, sometimes less, but creating these networks of support can take us a long way.
Speaker 1:
So effective communication is key when asking for help. This is really important. How do we communicate what we need from the situation, because sometimes we could need help, but the way we communicate is showing that we're independent. We don't need it. We've got it under control, whether it's through our body language, through our words, but deep down we're like struggling, we're drowning. We need it.
Speaker 1:
So, first of all is to communicate with ourselves that I'm actually really overwhelmed this week. What can I ask my, let's say, example partner to do in the house or my children to help out with within the house, without just be going into reactive mode when I'm stuck and when I need the help? So, first of all, being clear, this is me feeling overwhelmed. Okay, let me just take a moment to see how can I effectively communicate so that I'm not attacking or seeking help out of attack, but I'm actually paying what I would like assistance with because of all these things I have to prioritize this week. So this could just be a matter of slowing it down for ourselves, being clear and then communicating it to the right people without venting that we need the help. This is what we often do. I often do when I'm under stress, when I just go into reactive mode and I haven't had time to think about what do I need exactly that will help me in this moment.
Speaker 1:
So the communication, effective communication for asking for help and I've jotted them down because I definitely wanted to share them, one of the things we can say when we go to someone for help think first in your mind when we are seeking help, do I want them just to listen to me so that I can just vent what the challenge is, or do I actually want to get the advice from the person that I'm going to, or do I want to get the physical help from them? And in the same way, if we are the person being asked for help and this can apply a lot for parents of teenagers, or to our spouse or to our partner if I am being asked for help or to be heard, then my response could also be do you want me just to listen or do you want my advice? This line can create so much clarity for how the communication will go and that also helps the person coming to us really think about what their intention is for seeking for help, because sometimes they're just venting and it's just coming out that they need help. I hope this makes sense. I've gone on a little bit of a rant there, but communication is key and it is essential to be open and honest about the feelings and the needs we have, even if we're feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable.
Speaker 1:
And, as I mentioned before about the community, network is important. A strong support system can make it easier to ask for help. Support system can make it easier to ask for help Even if it's I'm going to think of three, four friends, one friend, two friends that I'm going to connect with and I'm going to say can we create the support group that we can just bend and share? This one really happens, naturally, in certain friendship groups. But if you don't have that, or if it's a lighthearted friendship that you have and you need the more connection, seek out the people that would be better balancing boards for those ideas and create that network, whether it's family members, you can trust colleagues, support groups, mental health professionals. Look for your own team that you can go to when it does come to this and cultivate it and create it. The other important place to go and if we are struggling and need more professional help from therapists, as we know or you know, mental health concerns relationship issues, whatever it is, finding the right professional and taking the time to make sure the person is the right fit for you, because half the time we lose the battle because we haven't selected the right person and then we've just given up on the process, go and gone back into just feeling stuck and overwhelmed and not supported.
Speaker 1:
And lastly, the buzzword that we hear again and again but I think is important and we forget, because a lot of our default modes are self-criticism and self-attack and we're harsher on ourselves often than we are with the people around us it's self-compassion, practicing self-compassion as an important step when it comes to asking for help. Research has shown that by being kind and understanding towards ourselves in times of struggle can enhance our resilience and our emotional well-being. It is important, remember, if we look on social media and it seems like everybody else has got it all together and we're comparing to these perfect picture posts of everything going smoothly, I can guarantee that no one has got it all together, 100%. All the time, and I know you know that too. So many times we get on social media and we get lost in the world of comparison and we see these perfect lives and we see these perfect posts and we see these perfect holidays. And remember, we know this, but that's what we see and it's in our face all the time and I remember again. I don't know whether I heard this from, but it stuck in my mind so strongly. It was like you would never just allow any stranger to walk into your house and just announce themselves and then just show up and spew the information all over you. Why would you allow that? On social media, there are so many things that just pop up and we are letting into our world and we're just taking it all in seeing what they've done at the weekend, seeing this, seeing that, and we're all guilty of it. It's there, it's in our face. We can't avoid it. We're all on social media.
Speaker 1:
The thing is to remember that not everybody has it as it seems on social media. First of all, reminding ourselves that we're all part of the human condition. We all go through things, we all have our own ups and downs and it's okay not to have the answers all the time. It's okay to lean on others and get the support and the help that we need. It's okay to be vulnerable, but I do want to emphasize, to choose the people carefully, because there are situations when we are vulnerable and it's landed on a stone wall, for example. So, yes, being vulnerable, opening up, but also being smart about who we choose to share our vulnerability with. At least, that's how I see it. So, to end off, I just want to remind you that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It can be really courageous, it can be an act of self-care.
Speaker 1:
If we're going through a rough patch, or even if we're celebrating something good, know that you're not alone on this journey. Find the person to share it with. Find your support group and reach out for the small little things that we need help with, and even the bigger things, and I really want to thank you for the messages that I get personally. There's also an email at the bottom of the show notes that you can send midweekinsights at gmailcom. Send any takeaways, any ideas, anything that resonated from the episode and any future topics that you'd like me to research, address or speakers and guests you'd like me to bring on. If you enjoyed this content, don't forget to subscribe so that you can get all the new episodes as they do come up. Until next time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other and remind yourselves and I'm going to remind myself as well in the process. No matter how dark the night may seem, there's always a glimmer of hope in reaching out for help when we need it. See you in the next episode.