Branches Part 1: My DNA Discovery Journey

Embarking on a soulful dig into the past, I took the leap into DNA testing, an odyssey fueled by unanswered questions about my father and the mosaic of my ethnicity. The anticipation of the kit's arrival, the shared experience of constructing a family tree, and the stirring discovery of old family photos all weave into a narrative that is at once personal and universal. Take a listen as I confront the emotional whirlwind of awaiting results that promise to bridge the gap between my present and the roots that ground me. This episode is not just a recount of events—it's an invitation to a shared journey of identity, belonging, and the revelation of what makes us who we are.

Transcript

Tracey: 0:02

What's good, everybody? Welcome to the Charging Station podcast. It's your girl, Tracey Massey of Living my Empowered Life. Hunti, I need you to go ahead and grab your coffee, grab your tea, grab your water, grab your wine, whatever your beverage of choice is. Sis, grab that thing and have a seat on the couchy couch, because I got a story to tell. I got a story to tell and before we get into it, you know what I need you to do. I need you to go ahead and follow this podcast, and subscribe to whatever platform you're listening on. I need you to t t t and rate review. You can even leave me a text message now. So, if you're listening, click the link in the description, let me know what you think of this episode, let me know what you think of this podcast,t and be sure to share this out with your peep because the more you share, the more people are aware, the more we can get this podcast out and I just greatly appreciate you rocking with me for the last seven years. Can y'all believe it? It's been seven years since the birth of the Charging Station podcast. Actually, we're rolling up on year number eight come August 17th, so let's get into it.

Tracey: 1:13

Oh, wait, wait, wait. I want to welcome all of our new listeners. Hey, y'all, hey, hey, hey. Thank you for rolling with us on this episode. I hope you stay for more. I kind of feel like you're going to stay for more, especially after this episode, because you're going to want to know what happens next. So I just kind of gave it away. But, yeah, I'm starting a new series. I've never done a series before, but this is a series of events, so it just kind of feels right to do this. So welcome if you're new around here. If you are a returning listener, hey, boo, you know I love me some. You, thank you. Thank you, thank you for coming back, week after week, month after month, quarter after quarter, year after year, whatever it is. I appreciate you. So, all right, all right, all right.

Tracey: 1:53

I'm not going to hold you, but I have a story to tell, and if you've been following me on the socials, you can find me on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. Living my Empowered Life. You can find me on YouTube as well. Living my Empowered Life. I'm trying to do better about getting video content up. Y'all, y'all know I have a love-hate relationship with social media. We ain't going to talk about that. So if you've been following me on the socials, then you kind of know what's been happening in my real life in real time. So well, kind of in real time, I haven't shared everything. I have to save some for the podcast, right. So I'm going to be sharing this story, all right.

Tracey: 2:34

So let me take you back. I got to take you back in order to get you to where I am right now in this process, so probably about seven years ago. You know there's that number seven again, if you don't know, biblically seven is the number of completion and eight, which is one of my favorite numbers, is the number of new beginnings. So put a pin right there, just kind of remember that. But about seven years ago, mother's Day weekend, I was having a, a moment. I was really missing my daughter. I was really missing my mom and I was just like I wasn't in a bad place, but it wasn't a good place either, so I needed to get out of the house. I called one of my girlfriends up and I was like, hey, I just, I just need to get out of the house. Do you mind um, hanging out for a little bit? She was like yeah, sure, you know, we can hit up one of my favorite spots in my hometown and, you know, just eating kiki and everything.

Tracey: 3:28

So I went home to South Carolina and I said, you know, I really want to kind of visit my mom's grave. I haven't been to my mom's grave in I don't know how long. It's been, so long y'all that I didn't remember where she was buried, like I didn't remember her actual resting place. I knew where the cemetery was, I knew it was a family plot, but I just didn't remember where she was particularly laid to rest. So my friend God bless her was going with me through this entire cemetery.

Tracey: 4:01

Granted, the cemetery is small, but when you're looking in, the cemetery is hundreds of years old, like hundreds of years old, back to early 1800s. So it's small but it's big. So we're going around looking at all these graves. I was like, okay, I know it's not on this particular side, but it's over here somewhere, so let's just start looking. So she's looking, I'm looking, and then I run up on, like my great, great grandmother's grave and I'm like, oh okay, so this must be the family plot. So we go looking and then we come upon my mom's grave. But in the, in the midst of all that, I'm like looking at all of my ancestors buried here. And I finally get to my mom's grave and I'm standing there and I get so angry Because it all of a sudden it hit me that there are a ton of there's tons of history, stories, secrets buried in these graves.

Tracey: 5:04

And I'm standing there like angry, crying, and my poor friend, my girlfriend, didn't know what to do. She was just like you, okay, and I'm like, yeah, I'm just, I'm just having a moment, I'm just having a moment. And then I finally said, you know what? I just said, there are so many things buried right here. And I was like you know what, let's, let's just go, let's just go. So I gathered myself and, you know, my friend gave me a hug, which is funny because she's not a hugger. So I must have been, I must have been down bad, because she's not a hugger. But she gave me a hug and she was like T, it's gonna be all right, it's gonna be all right.

Tracey: 5:39

And so we leave and we're sitting at at the restaurant having um lunch and she was like well, t, you had a. Really, you know, you might want to think about. And we're sitting at the restaurant having lunch and she was like well, t, you had a. Really, you know, you might want to think about why you had that kind of reaction. And I said I know I need to unpack something there because clearly it's something that is pulling me and I need to figure out what it is and what to do with it.

Tracey: 6:01

So, fast forward, you know, I go journal. I get back home, I go journal about it and I start to pray and God says to me do you remember when I told you that you would be? No, let me, let me get it right, Let me get it right. He said do you remember when I told you that you're the curse breaker, you're the generational curse breaker in your family? And was like, yes, lord, I remember. And do you remember how excited you got about that? I was like, yes, lord, I remember. And I said I also remember asking you, um, that, since I'm the curse breaker, to please allow me to partake in the blessings that come when the curse is broken. Because, lord, I don't know about y'all. Yeah, being a curse breaker is great, yes, yes, awesome thing.

Tracey: 6:49

But I don't want to be the curse breaker and then die after the curse has been broken. I don't want to be the curse breaker and then not be able to partake in the blessings Like I want to be able. I don't want to be like Moses. You know, moses was promised the promised land. He saw the promised land but was never allowed to walk into the promised land. I want to be able to walk into their promised land. I want to be able to walk into that land of milk and honey. There's no way. There's no way. I am satisfied with knowing that I'm I'm the curse breaker, but I don't get to see it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tracey: 7:24

And and before y'all come at me, before you bible scholars and stuff and all this stuff, come at me. Listen, I am a firm believer in having conversations with the Lord, and the Bible doesn't tell us to pray, pray earnestly. And the Bible doesn't say, um, asking you shall receive. We we have not, because we ask. Not Like I'm going to ask the Lord for stuff. Okay, I'm going to ask him. It's not just material things, but spiritual things, like all the things that he's promised me. I'm asking him for that because he promised and granted. There are some promises that are conditional. So if we're going to have this covenant, I need to know what's the part of the contract. What's the part that I have to be doing? Okay? So back to this prayer, this whole conversation with God, and he says yes, I know that you said that he said, but here's the thing In order to break curses, they have to be revealed to you.

Tracey: 8:20

You have to know what you're fighting against. You have to know what you're standing, what kind of foundation you're standing on, what kind of curse is standing before you, what kind of all of this stuff. So God is just like breaking it down to me. What, what being a curse breaker actually means? Long story short, it means some warfare. You can't fight an enemy without a plan. You can't fight an enemy without a plan. You can't fight an enemy without a strategy.

Tracey: 8:48

So at that moment, god started showing me the strategy behind it. Now, that's when I got scared. I ain't even going to lie. I was like oh, the excitement left it, exited stage right, real quick, because I realized in that moment that I'm fighting generations, things that were buried. Oh, thank you, holy Spirit. What I just heard Holy Spirit say was the things that were buried were seeds that were planted. So what happens when seeds are planted? They grow roots, they grow trees, they grow branches. So hold on, let me just sit in there for a second, okay.

Tracey: 9:41

So I get all this information from the Lord and I'm like, all right, well, I don't know what to do with this. And that's when he went silent. So I took it at that moment just to kind of sit in what he said, not necessarily make a move right now, but just keep in the back of my mind that you know this is what this means and just kind of, you know, stay prayed up that sounds so churchy but remain in prayer, remain in his word, remain in worship. In my experience with God, whenever he goes silent, I've learned that I don't make sudden moves without being instructed, because I could actually like completely mess things up. So, being that he didn't say anything else, I was just like, okay, I know, to just keep this in the back of my mind, just kind of keep this in my pocket and keep doing what I've been doing until he says otherwise. So fast forward seven years. We were.

Tracey: 10:38

I was on a live stream on Tea Time Tuesday. It might have been, may have been a Tea Time Tuesday, it may have just been a check-in with me, I don't know, but it was a live stream and if you haven't caught one of my live streams, y'all, we have a really good time. It's like being here on the podcast, but you get to talk back to me, which I love. So we were on this live and I don't know how we got on the subject, but I had mentioned doing a DNA test and the main reason I wanted to do a DNA test was because and the main reason I wanted to do a DNA test was because one I would have people ask me many times if I was Asian, and I swear I think it's just because of my eyes, but honestly, when I was over in Thailand, I got asked once Once is enough for me, but I got asked if I have Asian family.

Tracey: 11:32

So curiosity has always been in me and also not knowing who my dad is, not knowing that part of me. There's always been a curiosity. But I mainly wanted to do a DNA test just to see what my genetic makeup was Like. Where did I come from? Like, who am I? You know what's in me? Like, what countries did my ancestors come from? And so I was talking about doing the DNA test. I was like you know what? What if I find out I'm related to somebody really famous. So what if I find out that I'm actually royalty over in Africa? Because I just knew, I knew there's not. I knew that I had some African heritage, I just didn't know what country I was descended from in Africa. I mean, I'm black, okay, I'm black, that's, that's a given. We didn't come to the United States voluntarily, okay.

Tracey: 12:22

So I was talking about this online and then everybody on the live started saying you know, if you do it, I'll do it, if you do it, I'll do it. So I went and was like researching the kit online and I said, all right, y'all, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I said I should. This was in like January 8th February, somewhere around in there. Forgive me if the dates are wrong. I'm still processing 2020, y'all, I ain't gonna lie. I have to keep reminding myself it's but um, I started researching, searching the kid online, and I was like, okay, well, the kid is this price, blah, blah, blah. And I said you know what, if I do this now, I could probably have the results by my birthday. That would be like a great birthday present for me.

Tracey: 13:05

Got off the live, had the kid up and I said you know what? I can't do it, I'm just going to wait, all right. So fast forward to March. I'm at the beach celebrating my birthday. And the day before my birthday I just got up and I said you know what, I'm going to order this kit. So I got online, I ordered the kit and did not realize that this particular business, this particular agency that I used immediately gives you access to create a family tree. So I'm blown by this.

Tracey: 13:41

I started to create the family tree based off of my maternal lineage. So I know my mom, of course, I know my mother, I know my grandmother, I know my great, I know my grandmother, I know my great, I know my grandfather. I knew of my great grandmother, gabriella, and that's all I knew. Like I kind of I know my mom's brothers and sisters, some of my cousins, descendants from there, so I started to input that information. So I started to input that information, y'all. I did not realize how emotional this was going to make me, because I started to see pictures of my grandmother come up, my grandma Carrie. I started to see my grandfather.

Tracey: 14:32

I found my grandfather's death certificate and realized in that moment that I had lived longer than my grandfather. Like I turned 48, my grandfather died at 43. Granted, it was a different time period. The medical advances that we have now did not exist back then, but my grandfather died in such a simple way if there's such a thing as simple death, but you get what I'm saying he had gotten injured at work. He broke his leg and had a blood clot.

Tracey: 15:03

The thought of what my grandmother went through, what my mom actually experienced, went through what my mom actually experienced. My mother, I found out because of a census document that I found my mother was like three when she lost her dad. My mother was the youngest child, of how many brothers and sisters I don't even want to say because I may get it wrong, but she had a lot. She had a lot of brothers and sisters. So I'm just thinking about that time period, my grandmother being a young widow with all these babies, and it made me so emotional. I'm like, oh my God, this is so sad and I didn't realize what that, what heaviness, would bring um finding out all of this information, because this is stuff that my I don't remember my mom ever telling me, or even, you know, aunties and uncles telling me things like this.

Tracey: 16:04

And and granted, my family situation is a little, a little different. It may be similar to some of y'all, but my mother moved from South Carolina to Washington DC, so that's where I was born, that's where I grew up. I didn't get to necessarily grow up with my cousins. We moved back to South Carolina when I was 12, so that's when I picked up with some of my cousins and you know the relationships formed from there. But I didn't get to like have the same kind of experience as most people had.

Tracey: 16:39

So back to the story. I find all of this information, I start to find marriage certificates, I find census documents, I find deeds, titles, things like that, and I'm just like yo, I'm literally watching my family history be put together and, as the tears are streaming down my face, I hear the Lord say now we can begin. I'm like what? Huh Begin? What? Because, mind you, I had forgotten what the Lord had said, like I remember him saying that I will be the curse breaker, generational break, generational curse breaker. But all the other stuff, you know, I didn't remember it didn't come back to my the forefront of my mind, until I heard Holy Spirit say now we can begin and I thought, oh, here we go, but let me pause right there.

Tracey: 17:31

I really just want to thank God for being as smart as he is. He's so much smarter than I will ever be because in his infinite wisdom and his perfect timing, he knew exactly when I will be able to handle all of the information that's coming to me. Because, if I think about it, if I had tried to do this seven years ago, I would not have been ready. I would not have been. I would not have had the mental capacity or the emotional intelligence to be able to handle all of the information that was being thrown at me. Even though some of it was good, I knew that some of it would not be good. So I hear the Lord say now it can begin, and y'all. I just kind of like I stopped for a minute and I took a deep breath and I just said okay, okay, so. So I put all of that down. Well, actually I didn't, because let me tell you something If you do, if you're thinking about doing a DNA test and I'm going to expound on this in future episodes but if you're thinking about doing a DNA test, I just want you to be prepared for the unexpected. Just prepare yourself for the unexpected. You will definitely find some things that find some things out that you did not know and some things you may not want to know. So just prepare yourself for the unexpected. Again, I will expound on that in future episodes, so stay tuned.

Tracey: 19:11

So I got sucked in because I love to research, I love history and things like that, especially now that it's history about my family. I'm like, okay, listen, I need to know, like, what's the tea. So I find myself digging deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper, and I'm like you know what? I need to take a break from this. I just need to wait, hold off, let me go enjoy the rest of this trip, let me enjoy my birthday. And so I go and do that.

Tracey: 19:39

So about a week later, I get no. About a couple days later, I get the notification that the kit has shipped, and so I'm like oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm excited, oh my God, oh my God. So I'm like all right, the kit has shipped. So what does this mean? It means that it is, it's really happening. So I'm excited. You know, I'm excited and scared at the same time. So I get the kit, the notification, the kit has shipped, and then I got to wait a little bit more. So probably about three or four days later, the kit comes and I'm like, oh, okay, it's actually in my hands. So what am I going to do? Like, I got it, I spent my money, let me go ahead and do this sample and send it on.

Tracey: 20:35

So I do the sample and I take the kit to work with me the next day because there's a post office close to work. It's actually within walking distance from my office. And so I'm there and I tell my co-worker, my teammate, who's become a really good friend of mine. I tell her I was like hey, I did this thing. I have the kid in my hands, in my bag. Do you mind walking with me to the post office to make sure that I put this thing in the mail? She's like sure, let's go right now. I'm like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, I'm not ready. She's like no, let's go right now. She said I can tell you you're nervous about it. So the best way to combat those nerves is to go ahead and do it. I was like dag it, you're right. All right, okay, let's go.

Tracey: 21:22

So I grabbed the kit, we head out to the post office and the closer I get to the post office I start to shake. I don't know why I'm having this strong emotion and I start to shake. I'm so glad she was with me because I probably would have turned around and gone back if she wasn't with me. So she was like coaching me through the whole thing. It's okay, it's going to be all right. You know whatever you find is going to be good, you know God is going to be with you. Like she was just really really encouraging me.

Tracey: 21:53

We get to the post office and there are the mail slots to put the kit in, to mail off, and I'm standing there and I freeze and I can't do it. I can't do it and I'm like holding there and I say hey, can you, can you just put this in there for me? She was like no, she said no. She said this is your journey. You're going to see this all the way through. See. This is why you have to have people in your life like this, because when you are not strong enough or you feel like you can't do something, baby, you got to have an army behind you that will help you fight the battle, like in this moment. I was Moses and she was Aaron, holding up my arms. Okay, she said no, she said you're going to do it, you're going to see this journey all the way through. And at that moment I felt like, okay, god, I hear you. I felt like Holy Spirit was speaking through her and she said we're going to pray. She said do you mind if I pray for you right now? I say no, absolutely Please. And so she says the most beautiful prayer and she steps out of the way.

Tracey: 23:12

So the path is clear for me to get to the drop off boxes, the mail drop. I open up the mail drop, I kind of stand there and I'm holding it so it doesn't drop. And I look back at her and she said you can do it. I'm laughing at myself now, but I was so scared y'all. I let the lever go and hear the thing, the box drop and she says you did it. Yeah, you did it. And I said oh, there's no turning back now, is it? She said, nope, let's get back to the office. So we go back to the office and after I sat down at my desk and began to work, I felt a relief I felt, released from whatever was holding me from dropping that sample off.

Tracey: 24:00

And so the next day I get the notification that the kit is starting to move through the mail process. And then I also get a notification that if I want to expedite the processing of my sample, then I can pay an extra $20 to get moved to the front of the line. You know what I did? Right, I paid that $20 so fast. So that meant, instead of waiting six to eight weeks for my results, my results would come in two to four weeks. So I paid the $20. I closed the app.

Tracey: 24:41

I'm not looking at this anymore because I'm on pins and needles. Now it's like let me go figure something else out, let me go do something else, and I try not to think about the results. But I can't. I'm checking, like every day, every other day, like in tracking this package, going through the postal system, and here in the US. Y'all know how the USPS has been doing lately.

Tracey: 25:02

So I was nervous. I was, I was really nervous, because I'm watching the package move, moving pretty steadily. Then all of a sudden it stops and I'm like, oh, what's happening? Oh, did they lose my sample? Oh, I'm gonna have to do, do this again. You know all the things, all the things are running through my mind. It stops for like two days, two, three days. I'm like, okay, what's happening? But then I remember sometimes the post office will be tracking you know the package will be moving through, and then sometimes somebody just will stop tracking it for you and then it will show up at its destination.

Tracey: 25:46

By the end of the week I got a notification that my kit had been received and it is being put at the front of the line. Oh, it's happening, it's happening. And so I gather myself again and I sit down and I say, all right, god, whatever you have for me, give me the wisdom to use the information that you show me wisely. Give me the faith to believe that you will continue to believe that you are with me every step of the way in this process and beyond. And, god, whatever happens, I thank you for this moment because I know that this is the beginning of breaking these curses. All right, peeps, that's it. I'm gonna leave you right there, because I gotta give you bits and pieces, because, again, this is my life, this is. This is something that I'm living in real time and so as I replay it for you, retell it for you. I'm having to process all these emotions again, so bear with me.

Tracey: 27:02

Come back next week to hear the second part of this series that I'm calling Branches. Okay, so that's it for right now. Y'all, I'm gonna head out and I'm just prepared to tell the second part of the story, but I hope that you enjoyed it. You know, leave me a little note. Let me know how you, how you like this episode and if you're even interested in doing what I'm doing. You know. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. You can always email me at hello, at livingmyempoweredlifecom. If you email about this particular episode, or if you're on my email list and you got the email about this episode, reply to that email. But if you email me about this subject, just kind of put in there DNA or branches, just say branches. Okay. So I'm head out and before I go I want to remind you of this one thing Remember God loves you, I love you. It ain't nothing you can do about it. Boo, see you next week.