Branches Part 5: Sister, Sister

In this special episode, we're thrilled to welcome a very special guest—sister number one! Fresh off a flight and straight into the studio, she brings an exciting new dimension to our ongoing narrative. Together, they delve into the emotional rollercoaster of family secrets, the excitement of newfound connections, and the challenges of piecing together a fragmented past. 

Transcript

Tracey: 0:23

What's good, everybody. Welcome to T the Charging Station podcast. It's your girl, Tra cey Massey of My Living EmPOWERed Life. Baby, I need you to go ahead and grab your coffee, grab your tea, grab your water, grab your wine, whatever your beverage of choice is, grab it, and have a seat on the couchy couch. If this is your first time joining, you are in for a treat. I hope that you are subscribing, following, doing all that stuff that we need you to do to make sure that you catch every episode of T the Charging Station. If you are a returning listener, you know I love me s Some you. Welcome back, boo! Y'all, I'm not even going to hold you. Okay, I'm not even going to hold you because you know why we're here.

Tracey: 1:00

If you have been following along, you know I've been doing this series entitled Branches, where I've been taking you on my DNA journey. Okay, y'all remember that. If you don't remember, go back and listen to the other episodes. But I have a special treat for y'all. I've got a special guest in the studio with me today. Are you ready? Are you ready to find out who's here? Y'all? It's sister number one. I got sister number one in the studio with me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, we're excited. Everybody make room on the couch because she's here, yay. And let me tell you something, y'all, she literally just landed about an hour ago, and so you know, when I asked her to be a guest on the podcast, she absolutely agreed, and I'm super, super excited, not only to have her here on our first sister weekend, but also to have her here in the studio with me. Hey sister.

Robin: 1:55

Hey little sister, how are you?

Tracey: 1:58

I'm so good, I'm so happy you're here.

Robin: 2:00

I'm happy to be here.

Tracey: 2:02

Charging Station family. I want you to meet my big sister, R robin. H hello.

Robin: 2:07

Oh my gosh, I know this is exciting.

Tracey: 2:10

It's so exciting so y'all, we, she's, she's keep telling me that she's nervous and she doesn't know what I'm going to ask. And you know, she asked me if I was going to give her, if I would give her the questions to prepare, and I was like nope, nope, nope, because y'all know how we do on the charging station, we're just having a chit-chat, a little kiki, with the girls and that's what we're going to do today. Okay, I'm ready, you ready, I'm ready, let's get into it. I'm so excited Now. I just got nervous because I've been an only child all my life. Now, all of a sudden, I have big sister and nieces and nephews. More to come, more to come. All of the plot twists.

Robin: 2:54

Yes.

Tracey: 2:55

So I don't think I asked you this question before. It's going to be kind of hard to ask questions because we've literally talked every day since we found each other. So it's going to be kind of hard to ask questions because we've literally talked every day since we found each other. So we may be repeating a lot of things for us, but it'll be new for the audience, right? But I'm curious to know, when I messaged you, what was going through your mind.

Robin: 3:21

Well, I think I told you for me I had been in this a little bit longer than you, I think I first did my first DNA test in 2016.

Robin: 3:31

So I moved to Florida and I said, when I moved to Florida, one of my projects is going to be to try to find my father, and so that was when I did my test. And you get these moments of you know, information and you get excited and then it fizzles, and so when you reached out typically when people have reached out in the past, they've been third, fourth, fifth, sixth cousins- so I can't even know when you're smart enough to figure out how we're related.

Tracey: 3:57

Right.

Robin: 3:58

So when I saw you at first I was like OK, it's just another one of these fifth, sixth cousins and I didn't really pay too much attention. So the night before we talked I was off the next day. So I was like, well, I got time. I was up late. So I read your message and then I saw that it said this is a very close relative.

Tracey: 4:18

I think it said Close relative, first cousin, very close.

Robin: 4:22

So I said, wow, this is the first cousin that I have found on my father's side. So, then I was excited and we spoke the next day.

Tracey: 4:30

Yeah, yeah, and y'all, we, literally we hit it off so well. One thing that I picked up on our first conversation was Ms Robin was at the beach. Yes, it was my birthday and all I wanted to do was sit on the beach.

Robin: 4:45

Robin was at the beach. Yes, it was my birthday and all I wanted to do was sit on the beach, sit on the beach and that is one of my favorite pastimes.

Tracey: 4:52

So as we were talking, it was just so many similarities that we had and we were talking about how, with Ancestry oh shoot, I didn't mean to mention their name, but y'all know anyway it ain't but like two big ones out there, they're not paying me, so I don't want to say their name, but the service that we used they label the relatives a little weird, right, and so when we were looking at close relative first cousin, we both initially thought that we were first cousins.

Robin: 5:24

Yeah, because originally we said we're looking for two brothers.

Tracey: 5:27

Right.

Robin: 5:28

Yeah, we're looking for our dads and their brothers Right, and we find one. We'll find the brother to the other. Right and so that's kind of where we hung up that first day, right Thinking we were first cousins.

Tracey: 5:38

Then I went digging. I went into the Facebook group that I'm in and I said, hey, I'm a newbie here. Any advice for a person that's just starting this DNA journey? And they asked for the top five matches that I had. And I put my top five matches and one of the DNA angels you know, I spoke about the DNA angels here on the show before One of the DNA angels responded and said how many segments do you have with your top match?

Tracey: 6:08

Because Robin and I share over 2,000, like CMs. Don't ask me what that means, I still don't know, but they asked for the CMs and it's over 2,000. And then they asked well, how many segments? And we share a lot of segments too. That's right. And so the DNA angel said that's not your cousin, that's your half-sister. I literally dropped my phone. I dropped my phone and I had a Holy Ghost Baptist fit, because it was like the sheer shock of what. And it was weird because I had just spoken to you, we had just talked, and I said I'm going to have to call this woman back and tell her. Yeah.

Robin: 6:48

And I was like I'm out shopping it's my birthday weekend, so I'm just doing everything I want to do and you're like are you sitting down? And I was like you found him. That was my first thought. You said are you sitting down? And she was like Robert, we're not cousins, we're sisters and I don't know. I think I had kind of a thought of that earlier when, I looked at the numbers because I was comparing them to my first cousin that I grew up with and her numbers were nowhere near our numbers.

Robin: 7:19

So when you said it, I don't think I was as shocked as you thought I was going to be. You said I knew it. Think I was as shocked as you know, because you thought I was gonna be. You said I knew it.

Tracey: 7:28

I said yeah, yeah, so it wow and then just that just started to snowball because we were like, whoa, yes. And then our stories are so similar because you grew up without our father, I grew up without our father and neither one of us know who he is. You know at the time that we connected.

Robin: 7:47

Exactly.

Tracey: 7:48

And it was just. You know, y'all I'm going to, if she allows me to, I'm going to post a picture of us, because I haven't shared a picture of us yet. But when you see our eyes, you are going to be like yeah, that's your sister, girl, that's your sister. Why are you acting like that?

Robin: 8:02

Yeah, I just thought it's more than even that. I just think we have so many similarities. You just meet people that you just immediately like the same things. I mean, that's DNA. You get things that are running through your body that are just the same and you can't. And you meet people you hear these stories all the time where people find someone and they're just so similar. They wear the same colors and you know all that, so I'm a big believer in that. I do believe it is something seriously powerful in the DNA.

Tracey: 8:33

Absolutely.

Robin: 8:33

And now that I think we're together, I think we look more alike. We're seeing each other for the first time, face to face. We just have our mannerisms. It's more than just how you look too.

Robin: 8:44

It's so weird, yes, so it's like hello, it's so weird, but it's awesome, it is just. It's just a step in the journey and I told you that I just trust and believe in God because you know, I'll just tell everybody. I told Tracy when I met her. I'll just tell everybody. I told Tracy when I met her I had given this up to the.

Robin: 9:05

Lord I had been in and out. I even hired a private detective at one time and it was just so, just that rush and that crush, and I just kind of got tired of it. And I said you know, I prayed on it one night and I said, lord, when you want to reveal this, you will, and I'm going to stop working on it. So I think, when you came along of course you're new at it and you're you know, because it was a lot for you to go on and immediately find a sister.

Tracey: 9:31

So I didn't have.

Robin: 9:32

You know, I've been in this five, I mean eight years. So you know, when you give us something over to the Lord and you get in that peace about it, you just like, when he's ready he will let me know. So I truly believe that. So I kind of just went on. But every now and again I would see something or hear something and I'd say maybe I should look this up and I would you know.

Robin: 9:54

I would kind of get in and get out. But when you came along I felt like it just it was something about it that said you guys are meeting. I mean we're going to get into this, but we definitely know it's more of us yeah. So I felt like there was just something where the Lord was saying I'm putting you two together first it is something that you two need to either I don't know good, bad or ugly but you need to go through it together.

Tracey: 10:19

Yeah.

Robin: 10:20

So I do firmly believe that.

Tracey: 10:22

And that's one thing that I've said before. I'm so thankful for that, because this journey is so. There's so many plot twists I don't know any other way to put it. There's so many plot twists and if people aren't walking through it, or have walked through it, they don't understand it. And so to have you here. We're going through the same emotions, we're going through the same, having the same questions, and it's have you here. We're going through the same emotions, we're going through the same, having the same questions, and it's just like okay and we balance each other out. Yes, because when I'm having a moment and freaking out, you're like the calm. I call you the calm sister because I'm like oh my God, oh my God. I was like okay.

Robin: 11:01

Okay, calm down, no, and then I'm just like I have my days where I'm just angry Like this is crazy. You know that in the way I feel about this, I'm not shy about saying I just feel like here are two women who just took something to the grave.

Tracey: 11:18

Right literally.

Robin: 11:19

We don't know why, but again, it just seems to me so unfair that we're going through all this. You know records and documents and interviews and talking to people and just I tell Tracy all the time I had this fantasy forever that my mother had written this name down in a letter or something to me and when she died that was going to be in her her final papers and it absolutely was not. So she absolutely took this to the grave. So now we have all these questions about what was it about this man?

Robin: 11:54

that they were both, so is it protective was it shame. What was it? What happened? What happened?

Tracey: 12:02

I've been joking and when I tell you that Robin is the calm sister, y'all know how I am. But I was saying, you know, I think my mama stole me.

Robin: 12:13

And then she got me into it. I'm like well, does anybody remember seeing her pregnant? And then I was like I started asking that question right.

Tracey: 12:18

And then her answer was like no, I don't. What's funny? My mom. I got in touch with two of my mom's closest friends and they were like I've never seen Gwen pregnant. I've never seen her with a man. I was like see, I told you, she stole me. She plucked me from the banks of the Potomac River and took me to Howard University Hospital.

Robin: 12:37

And there I am there you are and I was like okay.

Tracey: 12:43

So I had our father. I'm calling him Bigfoot because he's just that elusive.

Robin: 12:53

And I had him as a spy, as a mobster, just everything you know. And I think when you're a kid you have all these fantasies about your other parent. You know, are they famous? Are they rich? Are they this? I mean, you don't tend to think the worst of them, you think that it's just some grand thing that you're missing out on. So I think that's part of it, but your twists have been more he's a spy, he's CIA, he's this and that. I'm like, hmm, he might just be an ass.

Tracey: 13:21

I'm sorry.

Robin: 13:24

Facts, let's just keep it real.

Tracey: 13:26

I mean you know, but the way the story is going right now, we could not have written it any better than this. No, I could not have as grandiose as my imagination is. I could have never written this.

Robin: 13:42

Yeah, I think what I find fascinating is just, literally in a week we'll get a piece of information on a Monday that's, like you know, earth shattering, and by Friday we have another piece of information that's just as earth shattering. It may take you in a totally different direction. Like at one point we were so convinced we knew who this man was.

Tracey: 14:03

We were like we got it.

Robin: 14:04

This is it. This is it. This is him. You have one phone call and I don't know if you want to talk about that at some point and your world changes again. So I think for me, like I said, I've been at this a little longer than Tracy I think you just learn to be patient, you learn to take those ups and downs, not that I'm not human and I'm not excited or angry or upset, but I just you know when I talk myself through that.

Robin: 14:29

I'm like it's gonna be a little bit of a long haul and you just need to. You gotta rest in that, yeah, so I don't fault you for being the crazy one because you're so much newer than at this yeah you know, you haven't been doing this for eight years, or yeah it's eight years, oh wow. Because I first did my first test in 2016. It's 2024.

Tracey: 14:45

Yeah, it's 2024. And I'm still I cannot even lie, I've said this on the show before I am still in 2019, 2020. So, yeah, I'm in a time warp, but yeah, let's talk about that plot twist. So, guys, we, so I took another. On the advisement of our DNA angel, I took another DNA test to see if we could find more matches. So they advised us to put our DNA on these different sites so we can kind of like cast our net, because everybody doesn't use the same services, doesn't use the same services. And so Robin had used another service and she's gotten some results who showed a nephew. So we were like Tracy, you take the test and we'll see if we get the same result, which we were expecting we would.

Robin: 15:38

But that came with plot twists too, and we did, so we did have the same nephew. We did have the same nephew, yes, but go ahead.

Tracey: 15:46

But the plot twist is the test results, like this particular company labeled us incorrectly, so it had Robin as my aunt and our nephew as my great nephew or something. It was something weird. It was something weird. So thank goodness we had already had results, because that would have completely messed us up. And thank goodness we have the dna angel to be like, yeah, no, this isn't right. They typically, they sometimes can do that and blah, blah. So we got it all sorted out. But we knew we have a nephew. Yes, so having a, you know what that means. There's another sibling, exactly Plot twist, we get to digging.

Robin: 16:28

Yes.

Tracey: 16:29

And so we get in touch with the nephew who is, I feel like, is a lot like us too. The common thread y'all we all love to travel. Yes, and so this nephew right now is on the other side of the world. He's on the other side of the world like he's on the other side of the world, and he was just like, yeah, um, he was telling us about he. Well, he led us to his mother, who, turns out, is our other sibling, our other sister, exactly.

Robin: 17:05

Yes, so I will pick it up. Yeah, so we actually find this obituary and it says this person is deceased and he had this family and he had these three children and one of the children is this woman.

Robin: 17:23

And so you know, now, for $2.99, I guess it is, you can almost buy any information you want. But the DNA Angels gave us information and said we think you should reach out to this person. So I did and you know you're nervous and you're trying to say, hey, you know it's a possibility I wanted to be very careful with my words that we could be related.

Robin: 17:47

And then she says well, why do you think that I said well, we found this obituary, we believe this man is our father, these are your children? And she immediately says no, because I'm adopted.

Tracey: 17:58

Dun dun dun Plot twist, plot twist.

Robin: 18:02

And the name she gives us for the adoption brings us back to where we were always where we were. So when we got this other name, it threw us right we couldn't figure out. It was nothing bringing this name up. And now we know why because she was adopted. So, the name that she gave us is the name.

Tracey: 18:21

Is the name of our is Bigfoot. It is the name so Bigfoot has a name. Is the name of our is Bigfoot. It is the name so Bigfoot has a name, that's right. And what's wild is, for some reason, my childhood memory has stayed with me all of these years, because I remember that name and I remember meeting this man. And I remember meeting this man and so we're like our other sister confirming that we were like, okay, this is crazy.

Robin: 18:53

Because she said she met him when she was probably five, but I guess her mom married, whatever this other man and this other man adopted them or her. Still don't know if all three of them are siblings or just her right and she said in the conversation he adopted me that's how she said it. She didn't say us, so you know the story could be. Her mom was you know, single parent. With her met this man. They had two more kids we don't know.

Tracey: 19:21

We don't know yet, we'll find out, yeah but yeah.

Robin: 19:23

So when she told us that I think that's I was in, I was kind of pacing around in the bedroom and I think I just sat on the bed because I think I was happy because it made sense yeah, it brought us back to the name we were chasing.

Tracey: 19:38

Right. And she just confirmed that, and so when you called me yes, with the news, I took off running. I don't know why, I don't know why I started running, and then I just sat on my stairs like, oh wait, wait, first of all we got another sister, and then, when we look at the ages, yeah, a year before me.

Robin: 20:06

we're a year apart. She's my older sister, so now I have a another older sister and that's great yeah. I think the interesting thing about that is I again I think I'm making this up, but I think Monday we were so solid in this other guy. This is the guy.

Tracey: 20:23

This is our we're done, we're done.

Robin: 20:25

And then you know, we talked to her on Saturday and no, nope. So just in one week we went to so many highs and lows in that one week and I do want to say to your listeners I think the thing that was so interesting about that conversation with our sister was that she doesn't connect to our father at all. She says I don't know him.

Robin: 20:51

I met him one time when I was five. I know nothing about him and I thought that was so interesting because when we talked you said, well, does she want to meet us? Does she want to? And I kept trying to explain to you that one. When I first spoke with her, she was very protective of her father, right Like we were defaming him, almost. Like why are you guys trying to say this man is your father and so I had to you know very quickly, tell her what the math was, why we got to that.

Robin: 21:21

And she said, oh, okay, makes sense, and what the math was why we got to that and she said oh okay, it makes sense, and your son is my nephew Makes sense. So she kind of came around and then she said ah, now I understand.

Tracey: 21:30

But guess what?

Robin: 21:30

That's not your father, because I was adopted, but I don't. I think she so loves and respects this other man who adopted her and raised her. This guy is just not in her mind, and so I think you know. We got two things out of the conversation One, that if we had any additional questions we could call her, and that's when she said I really don't know anything, but I don't just like you. I think when your mind starts to process and think about things, things do start to come to fore, because from my first conversation with you and now, so many memories have come up that have led us to answers that were locked in there.

Robin: 22:12

So I kind of felt I feel like she's going to be the same way. And then the second thing she offered was I said well, once we do all the research and we're solid and we're sure, do you want to hear what, what all we found? And she said yes. So I think I'm hopeful with those two things, that she will want to meet us and we will circle back. But again, I think it, I mean it's, it's a lot it's a lot for anybody.

Tracey: 22:39

Yeah, it's a lot to take in it's a lot to process and I understand the detachment because, honestly, I don't have an attachment to him either, because he wasn't in my life. You know, I just have this memory of this man showing up and I'm like he has my face, that's right.

Robin: 22:55

And another one of my friends said you know, one of the things you didn't think about Robin is her. Some people just feel guilty, like I don't even want to acknowledge him. I want to acknowledge this great man who took me, you know, and that's who I want to acknowledge. But I think again, when everybody kind of settles and thinks through it, I think we should meet. I mean we were all from DC.

Tracey: 23:20

All from DC.

Robin: 23:22

And she still lives there, and so I'm sure there's more of us.

Tracey: 23:27

I'm sure there's more of us too, because it would be interesting if there's more after me.

Robin: 23:34

Yes, yeah, it would be and it could be. It could be, but we know we have the death date now. So we know that was pretty. What were you five?

Tracey: 23:44

I was five.

Robin: 23:45

Yeah, yeah so could he have more, it's always a possibility but you could be the youngest you know what?

Tracey: 23:52

I would accept, that I would embrace being the baby. I'll embrace being the baby. But you know, something was funny to me. First of all, all three of us look alike.

Robin: 24:03

Yes, we have the gap.

Tracey: 24:05

Yes.

Robin: 24:06

And just for your audience, michelle.

Tracey: 24:09

well, the newer, the other, this new sister, oh my gosh, I don't want to say all these names.

Robin: 24:15

Sister number two, Sister number two. She has still this gap in her teeth right. You get to see it in her picture. I had that identical, and you look at my younger pictures. I had it. My wisdom teeth just came in and closed mine you had it and you had braces three times so when I saw her. I saw, I saw that, and I was like oh my gosh. So when we see this picture of this man I know he's going to have he's going to have, he's going to have a gap.

Tracey: 24:41

He's going to have these eyes. That's correct.

Robin: 24:42

For sure.

Tracey: 24:44

For sure. And sister number two, going back to when you had the conversation with her, the way she reacted. That's how I react to things Like why are you asking me all these questions Like what is it tonight? So I got tickled in that because I was like, oh okay, we are similar, so it's just, it's an amazing journey. But my God, today, yeah, it's so much.

Robin: 25:09

Again, I'm so grateful. The story with that is I called her.

Robin: 25:14

I thought I was going to go through a million bad numbers and she picked up on the first one, on the first number that I called, and so we talked for a few minutes. She was busy. And then, you know, I thought we set up a time to talk the next morning and she didn't answer and I kind of felt like, you know, has she changed her mind? Maybe this is too much. So I was very I don't know. I felt like the Lord just came over me to be one. We prayed before I called her you and my daughter.

Robin: 25:43

But I felt this calmness like don't rush her, don't just wait. So it was an early Saturday morning and I did all my errands and then I said when I come back tonight I'm going to call her again. And then I got home and something said no, maybe try her tomorrow, just give her a minute. And she called. So I opened the call with her by just saying how grateful I was that she called. And that's huge and I don't want to. You know, I feel like even you and I we've talked about this, we've kind of sometimes looked past even us finding each other because, we're so trying to get to the end, but one of my friends said wait, wait, wait.

Robin: 26:29

You need to honor respect and just sit in the fact that you found a sister. So I feel like sometimes we rush past, you know, trying to get to the final answer, but it's a reason that I mean. Neither one of us are like in our 20s.

Tracey: 26:46

You know what I mean.

Robin: 26:47

So it's been a long time that we have not known who this person was, and you know you talk about. We have our days where we're angry. We have our days where we feel cheated. Like you know, you didn't grow up with your nieces and your nephews, you know again, we're alive, we're breathing, we got time. We have every day. We can, we can remedy that. So I'm just trying to. I think my struggle right now is just trying not to live in the anger yeah, yeah, and that's been really hard for me it has been hard.

Tracey: 27:17

It's been really hard and I just, I just thank God for well one, reminding me that he is the redeemer of time and just thinking about how quickly things have moved. It's been so fast and I'm so thankful for everything that has happened. I wouldn't change the process at all, even though it's very emotional, but it's. I feel like it's happening now because, god knows, we're ready for it. Exactly, and we can, we can handle it.

Tracey: 27:49

Exactly, and whatever he brings, you know one thing as women of faith, one thing we're going to do is go back to him and like, oh Lord, this is a lot, but I know that you got it. We're going to rest in this.

Robin: 28:03

Yes, and that's why I keep saying it. I mean, one day we're going to clearly have the answer as to why we met first, because it could have been, we could have met the others first.

Tracey: 28:12

Right.

Robin: 28:13

So there's something there that we're going through it together. So I don't know. We'll see.

Tracey: 28:20

And just seeing, like being in the Facebook group, seeing other people going through this journey as well. A lot of people don't have what we have Exactly. You know there's a lot of. I had to get out of the group today because I felt myself like being oh my gosh, I'm just going to start crying because a lot of people are missing their fathers that they never got to meet. You know, here we are Father's Day weekend weekend and you said this. Tell the people what you said when we decided. First of all, let me tell y'all about my big sister. Like she is very much. Y'all think I'm something, y'all think I am detailed and action oriented. My big sister got me because we were on the phone when they said I'm coming to Charlotte, I'm coming, and next thing I know she booked the flight. I said, okay, well, let me find hotel.

Robin: 29:11

I'm not scared to find a hotel.

Tracey: 29:15

But what tell the people what you said when you said I'm coming to Charlotte?

Robin: 29:21

well, I think I looked at the weekend because I got a lot of travel going on with work and everything. I didn't pick it. I just picked the weekend first of all and then I said wouldn't it be something if we knew at least? I think I said the name- by the time we so one.

Robin: 29:37

I picked it. Then, secondly, I realized it was Father's Day weekend and I called you and said Tracy, oh my goodness, we booked this on Father's Day weekend. And I called you and said Tracy, oh my goodness, we booked this on Father's Day weekend. How crazy, I mean we didn't plan that at all.

Tracey: 29:47

At all.

Robin: 29:48

And then I said what if we know, at least know his name by then? And we do, we do, and that's just so exciting.

Tracey: 29:56

And that's the thing. As a reminder, peeps, life and death is in the power of the tongue. Whatever you speak, it shall be. So. We speaking in Bigfoot got a whole lot of money and we got an inheritance somewhere. We got an inheritance. It's just waiting for us. Yes.

Robin: 30:19

So interesting. I just think you know I've been thinking a lot about because you said, and the other sister said, that you guys met him when you were 5, 6. And I've been just racking my brain saying did I, did I meet him when? I was younger, I just don't remember it, or you?

Tracey: 30:36

know what I mean.

Robin: 30:37

So I don't that has not come back. I'm not getting any memory of meeting him.

Tracey: 30:42

My question was what was it about the age of five and why are you showing up when you're five years old?

Robin: 30:47

We're whole toddlers sir, why are you here? Yeah, I don't know, that's very interesting, yeah, like what was that? But obviously I don't know. I mean, I guess what it makes me when I want to fantasize about him. It makes me think he did acknowledge you guys, you know, and, like I said, maybe he did me too, I just don't remember, but there was some connection with our mothers, that he at least saw you guys once or twice, who knows?

Robin: 31:17

Well, there was definitely a connection, because all three of us here I know that, but I mean he showed up once, you know, so very interesting. Sister number two said the same thing. I met him once when I was five. She remembers that, you remember that. I'm not getting any of that.

Tracey: 31:38

Nothing's coming up for me and for me to be this big age and remembering that, it's just amazing to me that that has stuck, because I can literally remember what he was wearing that day.

Robin: 31:48

Oh, wow, okay.

Tracey: 31:50

I might have to talk to my therapist about that, Like why is?

Robin: 31:53

that.

Tracey: 31:54

Why that stick, when I can barely remember what I did yesterday?

Robin: 31:58

but I remember that Mine is a powerful thing.

Tracey: 32:01

Yeah it is, it is, and so people have, like, I've been so excited I've been telling my friends, you know, my sister's coming, my sister's coming. They were like, oh so you're having a reunion. And I said, well, we've never met.

Robin: 32:12

That's right.

Tracey: 32:13

What do we call it? We can't really call it a reunion because we've never united. It's a birth.

Robin: 32:23

Ooh.

Tracey: 32:24

I like that yeah.

Robin: 32:24

It's like you know, if I would have been the oldest sister I am and you would have been born, you would have come home right.

Tracey: 32:31

So I think it's like a new addition to the family, kind of thing.

Robin: 32:35

So it's exciting. I'm just very joyous about the whole thing I think, even though we both have our days when I'm just so impatient and want to get the name, get the picture, speak to someone that knew him and just tie it all together and say, okay, we have four siblings or we have this, but again it's going to happen.

Tracey: 33:02

It's just unfolding, it's blossoming, exactly Kind of like that, but still it's just going to happen.

Robin: 33:05

It's just unfolding.

Tracey: 33:06

Yes, it's blossoming, exactly Kind of like that, but still good gracious, oh my God. Today, what's cool though, we made the hotel reservations. I had called, and well, no, the sales manager, or something sent me an email. Just well, you probably got the same email. Well, they were welcoming you, or whatever.

Robin: 33:26

You didn't. I don't know. I don't need to look, I don't remember that.

Tracey: 33:29

But I responded to the email and I usually don't respond to emails like that. But I responded to the email and I said, hey, this is a special occasion, I'm meeting my big sister for the first time. And they were like, oh my gosh, let me get you in touch with so-and-so at the hotel. And so now everybody at the hotel knows they're excited.

Robin: 33:47

They're like you two are like long-lost sisters.

Tracey: 33:50

I'm like, yeah, Like that's us. So that's pretty cool, Because when Robin came into the hotel y'all know me I was so excited. I was just kind of like jumping and running and everybody started smiling real big because I guess they figured I had been there kind of mulling around the hotel and they were like that must be her. But it was just so cool it was, it was great.

Robin: 34:12

And like my friends are saying the same thing and family say are you?

Tracey: 34:15

nervous Are you?

Robin: 34:16

there and I was like I'm not, because we talk almost every day. Every day and we've just had every conversation here that we've actually saved some conversations that we wanted to do in person, so I wasn't nervous at all. I think I was more nervous about this podcast than I was about meeting you, because I feel like I already know you. We're already connected, so that wasn't an issue for me.

Tracey: 34:35

Yeah, I told you I got nervous, but it was those butterflies excited, kind of nervous Because I'm very much of a hostess. So I really want you to have a good time. But I don't want to run you all over the charlotte because you even said it today. It's like we don't have to do everything this weekend. When I tell y'all she is the the yin to my yang, y'all I didn't realize I was this crazy.

Robin: 34:59

Oh, my gosh, when you get to know my family and friends, they're gonna be like rob, like Robin is the calm one. Oh, my gosh, because I'm never the calm one. So I think it's funny. Every time I talk to you it's so many similarities of how we. You know clothing. Our hair is almost exactly the same.

Tracey: 35:17

That's the thing that freaked me out. When we FaceTimed the first time, we kind of looked at each other like, oh my God.

Robin: 35:24

It's just so like what, the first time, and we kind of looked at each other like, oh my god, like wait a minute exactly so I just think yeah, they're gonna laugh that I'm the calm one, because I am not the calm one. But when you say you're a hostess, that is so me that is like you know, I can't wait till you come to my home because I am. You know, when I lived in the DC area, my house was the party house, the function house, the graduate.

Tracey: 35:45

I mean every all the big functions. C area. My house was the party house, the function house.

Robin: 35:46

The graduate, I mean all the big functions in our family happened at my house, so I always have been a hostess. I love that and I think that is one of the results of being this only child, and, you know, my only child. I have siblings, but we weren't always lived at the same place at the same time. So, I grew up a lot of my life as an only child, and so I think people that are like that you go two ways. You're either kind of a loner or you're just always bringing people together.

Robin: 36:15

Like my house is always the house full. You know what I mean.

Tracey: 36:19

Yeah.

Robin: 36:19

So I think you get that when you don't have that sense of foundational parents. You got both your parents, you know who they are. You just grow up differently and I think it's just something people won't understand, because people say to me all the time you know, robin, you're just beautiful, you're successful, you're amazing. You know, you hear all this stuff and they're like why do you care about this?

Tracey: 36:46

Why does this matter? I?

Robin: 36:47

think that's what fascinates me the most how people don't get that. And I think just that, because on my maternal side I'm telling you we're almost to the slave ship. I mean we know everything about that side and so to just have that much information on one side and have nothing on the other side is just blank and it's not even for me. Of course I want to know, but I just want my children to know where their mother came from and their history.

Robin: 37:29

So, they can do their tree, and that became just more and more. It bothered me and I used to talk to my daughters and say I want this answer even if I'm dead and gone. Even if I'm dead and gone, I still want you guys to find out who he was, so you know your name and you know where you came from you know and my kids are like who cares? You know what I mean? They don't care about that. All they care about is our mom, we know our mom and dad, you know what.

Tracey: 37:57

I mean.

Robin: 37:58

But it's still. They do know. It's very important to me that they could do their tree.

Tracey: 38:03

And for me, since losing my mom and losing my daughter, and people have asked completely, have asked me questions that have taken me aback, which is hard to do, but they've asked me why I'm doing this now, at this age, and blah, blah, blah. And I said because I have a right to know who I am fully yeah, this age. And blah, blah, and I said because I have a right to know who I am, fully yeah, and if you don't, like you said, if you've never been here before, like having a whole, a half of you missing, yes, like I've always felt different in my family, I've always felt like something was missing and now I'm learned, I'm seeing. Like I said in my last episode, the last person that walked this earth that had my face was my daughter, and so now I'm seeing you and now I'm seeing sister number two. I'm like, oh, we got the same face. That does something for me and to feel not alone in this world.

Tracey: 39:03

And I don't want people to take this the wrong way Because I got plenty of friends who love me. I got my cousins and everybody who love me. It's just different when you have a sibling Growing up as an only child and both of your parents are gone. It's different, and I don't know any other way to explain that to people. That's the best that I can do.

Robin: 39:25

I don't think you can, I don't, I don't stress about it, I don't worry about it. I mean because, like I said, people have said to me for years you know, you're so accomplished and I think they say that to say you didn't have this man, or you didn't have this or that or you didn't have. But you know, look at, it's your story, look at what happened right you know.

Robin: 39:42

But again, we're yeah. But what if he was involved? What if he was around? Maybe you know, I always wanted to learn how to play piano.

Tracey: 39:50

Maybe he knows how to he could have taught me, how he could have taught me something.

Robin: 39:52

Yeah, so you just you know you can't really get people to understand that, but I think everybody just wants to be whole you just want to know. Like I basically said to you, if he was alive today, I was like I don't really I. My expectation was I wanted to know his name. So I know my name and I wanted a picture. Did I really care about meeting him? Did I really care about finding all the siblings? That was never like the biggest thing for me. I just wanted to know my name.

Robin: 40:25

But you were like, oh, I want to meet everybody because I've been an only child and I was like, hmm. So when we met it was kind of like, well, what if, by some chance, he's alive? And what would I say?

Tracey: 40:35

I told you what I was going to say. What would I see him?

Robin: 40:38

Would I be angry. So you know, obviously we're not going to have to deal with that, but um, yeah, I just getting to that reality of what would that be like if he was alive and you could meet him. That was kind of getting in my head I was like oh, I don't. I don't even know what I would do I know what I was gonna do.

Tracey: 41:00

I know okay. I know what I was gonna say yeah, we either.

Robin: 41:03

I know Exactly. So I don't know. I just think you. I'm a strong believer in every experience. Everything you go through is your story.

Tracey: 41:13

Right.

Robin: 41:13

You know it's your story. And how would my story have been different if my father was in my life? I don't know the answer to that. He might have been a really bad guy or you know a terrible person and it might not have been great, but he could have been great.

Tracey: 41:29

You know, we just don't know, we just don't know, we will never know.

Robin: 41:32

Right. We just didn't get the opportunity to, because the person that we we know it is I was 16 when he died. You were six, right?

Tracey: 41:41

Five.

Robin: 41:42

Six, so you know. I'm definitely 16. I was definitely old enough to see him talk to him, you know whatever. Right, but we just didn't get the chance. So I just feel like it just keeps coming back to these two women who we don't know if they knew each other other.

Tracey: 42:00

I mean, there there've been signs that make us almost think these guys were in the same circles because these names are just crossing over very a lot. Right.

Robin: 42:12

Yeah, but so if we assume they didn't know each other um?

Tracey: 42:18

And what they didn't have the same exact.

Robin: 42:21

You know how they handled. This was identical.

Tracey: 42:27

Your mother and my mom. It was identical.

Robin: 42:29

Didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to give us the name, and it was funny because my mother and you talked about your mom. My mother read the Washington Post from, you know, from the front to the back, every day, every day. And I think back now and said you know, when I was 16 and he died, she knew that Right, and my daughter was like my youngest daughter was like mom, you know, grandma knew because she read that paper. I mean to the point, if she was away for the weekend she would come back during the week and read the ones from the weekend.

Robin: 43:04

So she knew she read the obituary because she was always saying, oh, one of your teachers died, or you know whatever. So we know that. But I want to say when I asked her I was 32 years old, right. That was 16 years later and she was like well, you know what I mean. So you knew, you knew. She knew at the time that I asked her that this man was deceased. So what was it? It was something that made you take that literally to the grave. He was a spy. Okay, where's my government check.

Tracey: 43:45

He had to be a spy and he's got, like this Swiss account or an account in the Caymans, and we just Well, you got a dream bag, Tracy.

Robin: 43:59

I mean, hey, you know.

Tracey: 44:01

Look, speak those things that are not as though they are Okay.

Robin: 44:08

Gotcha.

Tracey: 44:09

Well, we are. You know, we're at the time of the recording on this podcast. We're on our first sister weekend and we're going to do some things that will not be on camera. Nothing illegal.

Robin: 44:25

I don't really know you.

Tracey: 44:28

This is true, but you know, we're just going to be in the moment and, you know, taking this time to get to know each other even more. Hopefully we can get in touch with sister number two sometime this weekend and you know, I think so far I'm having a great time, are you? Are you enjoying yourself?

Robin: 44:49

I love new experiences, so even just doing a pod, I've never done a podcast.

Robin: 44:53

So, anytime I do something new and I think that just you know implants in your head like for the rest of your life. The first time you ever did a podcast it was with your baby sister, you know. So I love those types of things where you have those experiences and they just kind of you know, they become memories, they're just etched in your brain that if somebody ever asked me to do a podcast again I'll say, yeah, I've done that before, you know, with my little sister in Charlotte.

Tracey: 45:20

Charlotte North.

Robin: 45:21

Cagalacky, exactly, so I love this area. It was great to come here. I have, you know, auntie and some cousins that I'm going to see tomorrow. So, it's just all icing on the cake. But I just, I don't know. I just told you I had just a special feeling going into 24. I just was claiming 24. I was like Lord, this is going to be just an abundant year, it's going to be a joy for you, I just claimed that, and every month here was something, something, something, something.

Tracey: 45:58

And then, when April hit, you know, my son says you had a great birthday present mom, you met your sister we got to remember that we spoke on my birthday, On your birthday, yeah, oh wow. I mean, when you start thinking back about all of this stuff because it's been happening so fast, it's really good to pause and reflect on everything.

Robin: 46:15

Just that you sent that kid in because you were hesitant, right yeah?

Tracey: 46:21

And I thank the community on Instagram because, if it wasn't for them, I was literally joking and saying you know what, maybe I should do it, blah, blah, blah, and they encouraged me to do it. Now, I don't know if everybody who said they were going to do a test did it. I hope they did, if you did let me know, but if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have done it.

Robin: 46:41

Well, that's great, yeah, yeah, because I hope they did it, because I think just technology and the records and what's so fascinating about what we're seeing you're just seeing people's draft cards.

Tracey: 46:56

And.

Robin: 46:56

I found the census. I don't know what it was. My mom was nine years old and she filled out the census card.

Tracey: 47:04

Oh, my God.

Robin: 47:06

And my grandparents had six kids, but at the time it was only three of them, because my mother was the oldest and I remember when the census used to come, I used to always want to fill it out Like I feel, like all the kids wanted to fill it out.

Tracey: 47:15

Yeah, yeah, parents could care less.

Robin: 47:17

So she fills it out. And they're like you know my mom's name, nine years old. Wow and she fills this out and I actually see it. So I'm seeing my mother's handwriting on this census thing and her trying to sign her name, you know, at nine years old. So it's all kinds of stuff coming up like that. So I think anybody that is contemplating it you might be pleasantly surprised when you do it. You might, as soon as that thing hits there, it might say you have a brother, you have a you know whatever but then just all the information that you can get on your ancestors, like once you get past this part.

Robin: 47:55

But just going way back, grandmother, great, great, great great to the what.

Tracey: 47:59

Oh, my gosh when does it go Up to the sixth grade? It's insane.

Robin: 48:02

Yeah, so I know for my. One of my cousins has been doing a lot of research on our family for years and, like I said, she is definitely at the slave ship at this point and, but just how quickly the DNA angels have built out our maternal side on that tree.

Tracey: 48:21

It's insane.

Robin: 48:22

It's been really fast.

Tracey: 48:24

There's over. When I checked, I looked at it today there's over 500 people on my tree, just on my maternal side. I'm like good gracious, I had no idea it was that many people. And you know, I told you about the cousin. Well, that's the cousin on our paternal side who is French, Okay, Does not speak a lick of English, but we've been chatting through Google Translate.

Robin: 48:52

Oh, my goodness.

Tracey: 48:54

And so I'm like all over and the way you can see a map of where all of your relatives are. It's wild to see that much family literally all over the world. That's right.

Robin: 49:11

Yeah, and I think just African Americans, it's just, we're everywhere, we're everywhere Just fascinating stories of how did they do that, how did you get there, and I think that's one of the. I think that's just in my nature and it seems like yours too. We're just curious people.

Robin: 49:31

And you know I told you I went to school I was going to be a journalist. I did other things but I've always had that spirit of curiosity and I think this has been another thing that's just always kind of bugged me, that this mystery I can't solve.

Tracey: 49:45

This mystery.

Robin: 49:46

I can't figure out, and so to be in it and be this close, and you know, we got the name and that's what we want. We got the name and now we just got to find everybody else and I think for me, like, like I said, I think all I really want next is a picture and I really want to speak with someone who knew him. I mean, that's, you know, what was he like? Did he play sports, did he sing? I mean, you know?

Tracey: 50:19

yeah, cause that'll be interesting to find somebody who knew him. That's right To see, because there's a lot of things that I do that I know didn't come from my mom. Me too, absolutely.

Robin: 50:31

It had to come from him. Yes, and I'll tell you another thing. You know how, like me and my ex and me and my ex are very close and we raised our kids and you know we say all the time you get that from your mother, you get that from your father. I think back I've never once in my whole life heard my mother say you get that from your father or you look like your father or ever, ever. And I think people you know in a marriage, in a family, that's very common.

Robin: 51:00

People do that all the time. All that's because even with my daughters they make a face, they say something. I'm like that is your daddy. You are looking just like your daddy right now and I never heard that. So, again everything about this man. They were protective, it was taboo.

Tracey: 51:15

They didn't discuss it. They did not discuss him. It was like he just disappeared, like Bigfoot. He might be Bigfoot, he might be Bigfoot.

Robin: 51:27

So again, I mean, those are the answers. I don't think we're ever going to get those answers. I don't think that's going to ever be written down or documented anything unless we meet someone that he knew, that knew our moms right.

Robin: 51:41

And that's a possibility. He might have sisters, he might have something. So I'll tell you a really funny story. So we my uncle died and we all went to the funeral and this man came and he was just like oh, I was, I saw this in the paper and I just had to come. We were roommates and you know, blah, blah, blah. And so we were like, oh okay, so we come back to the house and we're talking about it and everybody's like, no, he didn't have that's not true. We don't know that man. And so the whole family just makes up this whole thing that he's those people that go to funerals.

Robin: 52:13

And so we're like oh my God, he did that. Why would he do that? So we're just all freaking out, everybody saying, no, he didn't have any roommates, he didn't this, he didn't that. And then here comes my mom. She's like yeah, he lived in such and such an apartment. He did have a roommate. So it was just interesting how you're just making up all this stuff and one person has that answer. One person. So this man was an innocent, wonderful person who saw this in the newspaper and said I have to go, you know, pay my respects, and we're just making him out to be a villain. He's crazy. And here comes this one person, the one connection and that's what I'm saying about this.

Robin: 52:51

It's just going to be that one person, that one somebody that knows something, yep, and I just know that that's going to happen.

Tracey: 53:01

What if it's one of us? It's going to be a sibling, it's going to be his oldest kid.

Robin: 53:08

Exactly.

Tracey: 53:10

Yes, and they're going to know everything.

Robin: 53:12

Yes.

Tracey: 53:12

And then we're going to be sitting there with our mouths wide open.

Robin: 53:14

Yeah, I hope so. I hope you're right. I hope you know, because you always wonder and we know, especially for women, that women normally know you know, they know that there has been a baby or an affair or it's very rare that they're just completely blindsided, especially if there's a child involved.

Tracey: 53:35

Absolutely.

Robin: 53:36

So you know what I think with our second sister. It would have been great if her mom was still alive, because she might not remember anything, but her mom could have told us a lot. So you got all cases. These three women are gone. Right, so it's very difficult for us to get anybody with that knowledge.

Robin: 53:59

So many questions we're trucking along exactly I'm not worried at all, that is, it's not all going to be revealed that is more. I'm more confident about that, I'm more settled in my soul about that than I've ever been so and I'm just excited.

Tracey: 54:21

It's to the point now where, yeah, it's overwhelming some days, but I do get excited about just finding new ones, because you know we get matches every week and I just sit there and look like, okay, who's this?

Robin: 54:32

Yeah, who's this? Yeah, it seems to be just busy right now.

Tracey: 54:38

It does.

Robin: 54:39

Because I just got an email today and it said you have a match. You have a match. So you know I'm. It just seems like there's a lot of activity.

Tracey: 54:47

Yeah.

Robin: 54:48

So you know, is that in our head or is that happening? I think it's been a lot of matches lately it's been from, yeah, definitely. So it's just getting top ones Like what was the guy the other day? Was he a first cousin or something?

Tracey: 55:01

He was a first cousin, so we're still trying to figure out where he came from. That one we have to talk to. That was a loop.

Robin: 55:09

Very big mystery that we got to find out, so can't wait to talk to him, but I just feel like it's been active lately.

Tracey: 55:16

So that's a good thing, that's a good thing.

Robin: 55:18

Because some somebody's out there looking for. I mean, if there are more of us that you know wasn't in the marriage or whatever, then somebody's out there looking too, yeah, Right. So I just again want to just shout out to our nephew, who just sounds like an amazing person, amazing person, yeah, and when I asked his mother, well why was he on there, Is he looking for his parents?

Robin: 55:42

And she's like no, he knows both of his parents. He's just one of those people. He wants to know everything about life, he wants to track his DNA, he wants to know his heritage. So I just thought about that and said that's my nephew and he just sounds amazing and I love that.

Tracey: 55:58

So we definitely want to meet him Definitely, and I love that.

Robin: 56:00

So we definitely want to meet him. Definitely, definitely, we can find him.

Tracey: 56:02

He's a world traveler. He's like Carmen Sandiego when in the world is nephew? That's right.

Robin: 56:06

Where in the world is nephew? But just that just fascinated me when she was talking about him.

Tracey: 56:12

Yeah.

Robin: 56:12

Yeah, and I love that. You know she just said I'm very honest with my kids. They know exactly, you know what, what, what my history is and whatever, and I love that because that's what we wanted from our mother and that's what we gave.

Tracey: 56:26

I think all three of us gave to our children. That's right.

Robin: 56:30

Yeah.

Tracey: 56:30

We all made that, that open door policy, and just said you know, it is what it is.

Robin: 56:37

That's right. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, but that's interesting, that that is a connection between the three of us we're all very straight up with our kids and she said that on the call. She said I tell my children everything. They know exactly where they're from. Who's this? No secrets. And I was thinking that's not a coincidence.

Tracey: 56:59

That's not, that's not. Well, that's not a coincidence, that's not, that's not no. Well, that's a good place to end. That hour went by fast, didn't it? It did, wow, I did it, wow, you did it. And, truth be told y'all, it's about time for us to go get something to eat. But I want to thank you, big sister of mine, for joining me on the charging station. Is there any last? I don't want to say that, no, anything, you want to leave with the audience?

Robin: 57:30

You know I think it's just the same cliche stuff Like don't give up on your dreams, don't give up on you know, just don't give up. I guess that's it I am. You know, and this is probably way too much information, but I will be 60 years old next year 60 and fine honey. And, wow, I'm just finding out who this person is. So I just think don't give up.

Tracey: 57:55

Don't give up. No, well, thank you for joining. Thank you for having me, of course, of course. Oh well, thank you for joining, thank you for having me, of course. So my next, the next visit will be me going to your home. Yes, and I get to meet my nieces and nephew and everybody in person.

Robin: 58:14

oh my gosh they're very excited and they're very crazy. So I keep telling you every time I talk to you they are a nut, they are a nut. They're a nutty bunch, but fun silly kids.

Tracey: 58:26

I love it.

Robin: 58:27

You're going to love it.

Tracey: 58:28

I'm telling you, we're going to have to do all the graduations and everything all over again.

Robin: 58:34

Yes, and I said that to my youngest daughter and she said oh yeah, I would love that Because she's a party girl. She said, yeah, we can get the cake again, let's do it. I was like, no see, that's bad.

Tracey: 58:47

We have to have birthdays. Oh my goodness.

Robin: 58:51

We just got to do it all over again. We're going to have one big party and it's going to be birthdays, graduations, everything.

Tracey: 58:56

I'm good with that.

Robin: 58:58

We'll just have pictures swirling around.

Tracey: 59:01

Here was the 6th birthday.

Robin: 59:03

Here was the 7th birthday. Here's the graduation. Here's the baby shower.

Tracey: 59:07

Whole little PowerPoint.

Robin: 59:08

Yeah, I think that'd be great, we can do that. We can do that.

Tracey: 59:11

Well, guys, we are going to head out and I want to thank you all, of course, for joining in, listening to a little snippet of what I've been blessed to have for the last two or three months. How long has it been? It's been a minute, yeah, yeah, but we're going to continue our conversation offline and go get something to eat. But before we sign off, remember God loves you, I love you. It ain't nothing you can do about it. Boo Bye.