Janeen Frever, Technology Account Manager, Transformational Coach, Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor, shares a shocking and tragic personal story and how she found the strength to overcome and generate healing within her family while standing for her LGBTQ children. Religious beliefs create separation within the family as doors are closed on her and her children. Janeen shares her vision for the world she wants to create and how she is able to continue to share love with all, when love and acceptance are not given.
To contact Janeen Frever for support or for LGBTQ Yoga and Healing Center donations contact: Jfrever@gmail.com
To find out more about Redesign Experiential Leadership and Transformational Trainings visit: https://www.healing-angels.org/redesign
world, create, life, people, forgiveness, transformational, breathing technique, breathe, feel, podcast, children, space, stand, anger, resistance, training, experience, fear, breath, LGBTQ, pride, acceptance, tolerance, love, religion
Janeen Frever, Technology Account Manager, Transformational Coach, Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor, shares a shocking and tragic personal story and how she found the strength to overcome and generate healing within her family while standing for her LGBTQ children. Religious beliefs create separation within the family as doors are closed on her and her children. Janeen shares her vision for the world she wants to create and how she is able to continue to share love with all, when love and acceptance are not given.
To contact Janeen Frever for support or for LGBTQ Yoga and Healing Center donations contact: Jfrever@gmail.com
To find out more about Redesign Experiential Leadership and Transformational Trainings visit: https://www.healing-angels.org/redesign
world, create, life, people, forgiveness, transformational, breathing technique, breathe, feel, podcast, children, space, stand, anger, resistance, training, experience, fear, breath, LGBTQ, pride, acceptance, tolerance, love, religion
In transformation, when 2% of a population begin to think and more liberated and spiritually open ways, a new level of consciousness will awaken, bringing about a new reality for the total population. Join me, Jael McLean, confidence coach, business owner, musician, health and fitness enthusiast, transformational instigator, and your host of The 2% Podcast in creating a new reality of spiritual awareness, confidence, and authenticity.
Hello and welcome to The 2% Podcast your source for empowerment, expansion and elevation. Today we're by joined by my friend-my good friend, my yoga instructor, and Account Manager for a Cyber Security Tech Company, Janeed Frever.
So nice to be here. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to finally meet you in person.
That's right. This is actually my first time to meet Janeen in person. We've known each other since I think early 2020. Through the Redesign and Transformational Community, you actually were one of my coaches, and did my welcome call into the trainings.
It's so nice to be here. Beautiful studio. Yeah, thanks to all your production folks here.
Yep. So Janeen. This season, we're talking about what we're experiencing in the world? And how do we create an impact? And what are we experiencing that is not working? And who can we be to create an impact? And so you and I have had some amazing conversations recently, and that's why I wanted to have you on the show. And you've got a very touching and a very deep, a very deep personal story to share.
thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So in early 2010, January, February 2010, my life really changed. We had found out that my then husband had sexually abused my children. So, you know, we filed a police report, and he ended up committing suicide. So at that point in my life, everything felt like it was turned upside down. So it was then that I really, even though I had been into yoga for probably about 10 years, then it was really then that I started looking for the transformational tools. So I started reading, I would go to the library and get every book that I could, because I was like, Why do I keep creating the same kind of life for myself? Why do these things keep showing up. So that was really my journey into our my start into the transformational training. And then in 2017, I met my very good friend MJ, and he had told me about the gratitude redesign trainings, and I found such an place of empowerment there. And, you know, with my two children, being part of the LGBTQ community, I always lived in fear about what was showing up in the world for them, for myself, but for them also. And so I was always in this space of Oh, my God, what's going to happen to them, and that the training really gave me the tools that I needed to realize that I could create a different place for them. And at that time, period, my you know, my family took us, you know, a position that, you know, they didn't want to have anything to do with my children because they were gay, or because they were transgender because of their deep belief system. So there was just a lot going on emotionally at that time for me. So the training really gave me some tools to work with, to help me, you know, kind of move forward with some of the things that I was up to at that point in time.
Yeah. And then you mentioned to at one point, you know, that your, your children were not welcome. You and your children were not welcome. anymore.
Yes, yes, my dad actually had and made a phone call and I'll never forget it. I was at I was had just moved to the Washington area, and my dad made a phone call. And he said, I just wanted to let you know, because of my deep religious beliefs that I love you guys, but you're not welcome in my home anymore. Your children or yourself, you're not welcome in my home. And I had always been close with my parents, they, you know, we had always helped each other out just you know, very, very much a tight knit family and so it felt like a bomb had exploded or went off in my life. In the same thing with my children. They were very close to my children. When everything went down On in 2010, you know, they were there, and they were just such a huge support system at that point in time. But once you know, kind of our beliefs collided, then, you know, I didn't have them in my life for some period of time after that. So I, for so long was really I harbored a lot of anger, even with the tools that I had in transformational training. Until I finally came to the conclusion that that anger is exactly what I didn't want to see. And, you know, the anger that I was pouring out is what I was seeing back in the world. And so I had to really start my inner work again, at at at a higher level, I think, than I had before.
So I had Lynn Johnson, on a couple of episodes, back and we talked about that resistance, what we resist persists. And if your experience is anger in the world, or separation or division, how am I the source for that showing up? And it sounds like you did that work?
That's right. That's right. And I really thought about how I was positioning myself, and how my anger was contributing to wanting to be right. Like I really wanted to be right, like, you don't get to have your opinion, because I want you to accept my children. And I wasn't given them the space to even think about it. We were both very positioned. And when your vote both very positioned, nobody ever moves. There's just there's just opposition and resistance. Right. So I really liked that you brought that point up. So what I started doing instead is I make a stand for my children. I'm very passionate about the rights that everybody has to be treated equally on whether they be LGBTQ whether they be black, whether they be women. I'm always going to be a stand for that. But it doesn't mean that I have to create more resistance in the world. It doesn't have to be either or.
Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you. We're gonna take a quick break, and we'll be right back.
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Hello, and welcome back to the 2% podcast. We're joined by Janine freeware today, and she's sharing a very, a very deep personal story regarding her LGBTQ children. And we're talking about what we're seeing in the world? And how do we create an impact? And what's working and what's not working out there?
Thank you. Once again, my vision actually, I know that we've talked a little bit about that earlier. But my vision for the world is I'm really, really committed deeply committed to creating a world of love peace and where everybody gets that they matter. No matter who they are. Especially, I'm an I'm sensitive to the LGBTQ community because of my children. But that means people from different religious backgrounds different you know, just culturally different. Yeah, women, men, just everybody gets to have a place at the table, so to speak. So when I started first, getting into some of the difficulties for the LGBT community, I'll never forget when my life changed is actually when I took my son and it's just a very little thing, right? I took my son. He was going to the Pride Parade in DC. And I was just observing things there. And I sat back and I was watching all these people, some children, mostly children, I would say younger adults coming in and they were taking their clothes off, and they were putting different clothes on, obviously, because, you know, they didn't feel acceptance at home or, you know, they shared with me I just I don't have anybody in my space. He's that accepts me for who I am. And the sadness, you know, I just said, I felt an immense amount of sadness about that, because they couldn't live, they didn't feel they
were hiding. Yes, they're hiding having to hide who they are, and then come be able to show up authentically and their costumes and their clothing and where they're comfortable at in this, you know, this festival space. And then
yeah, I just thought, how much are we missing out on, on these people that are, are here because we're worried about what they're choosing sexually, right, like, so I was just really there. These, there's so many creative people, and there's so many people that just have so much to offer that we're just kind of shutting the door on. So I really took that seriously. And I thought, you know, what can I create in this world, that could bring some love and peace for this community or, you know, or other communities in. So I had already had this five year picture of what I was creating, you know, and that was going to be a as a spa retreat for those who had been through traumatic events. So, you know, that really made me internalize, well, this community I want to focus on. So, you know, I started thinking about how can I incorporate the LGBT community in my vision for the world? Because I see so much hiding? And so how can I be the change there that I want to see in the world?
So I want to bring it back to looking at, you know, we talked about having a position, and then what it means to really be a stand for people. And what I heard you speak into is, that need to be right. And then you know, when when someone else needs to be right, and then I also need to be right, we're simply creating resistance, and there's no open space or open opportunity to be able to hear, you know, from their space. And, and then also openness, openness and willingness to be wrong, like I have my belief system, I know what I believe. And I'm open to being wrong about it, too. And I'm open to hearing how you have it, and versus how I have it? And what kind of a world can we create from that space? A willingness to be wrong? Or a willingness to to? To let others have it? How they have it, I get to how have it how I have it? Right, you get to have it how you have it?
Yeah, I think the biggest thing that you said, it doesn't have to be an either or right, it can be, you know, a minute, it can be an either or conversation, right? Like, we don't have to close the door on people because they have different belief systems different than ours. Actually, it would be a really dull world, if we didn't, you know, have different opinions and different beliefs about things. But it is when that need to be right becomes so critical that you're willing to hurt another human being over it. So that's the difference between stand in position, right? Like we can take a stand for what we believe in, and maybe to some people that will be a wrong stand. But if we can come to some kind of agreement, I always think of my parents with this again, I didn't accept my parents on my life, even though they said to me, you know, you're not invited my into my home. Instead, I was like, what would a stand look like? That stance that I'm taking for my kids is never going to diminish. I am all about how I feel about, you know, equality in any way. But how can I still include my parents and not show them? What I don't want to see in the world. And so that's when I was like, I can visit I can be in this place of being in a state, you know, being a stand for what I believe. But I can also be inclusive with them, and how can this relationship work and it might not be how I want it to work, you know, look, right now. It it now is telephone conversations, and it's now I love you at the end of the conversation. It's not how it used to be. But maybe that won't ever be that way. But it is a door that's opened, if I would have positioned myself into a place of resistance, then our relationship wouldn't even be today. So that's what you see so much in the world is that the need to be right becomes so strong, that we're willing to hurt people and I'll never forget that in the transformational trainings. People die every day because people want to be right. And there's no kind of, you know, commonality that's established or, you know, instead, if they could just take a stand it's it's fine that people have different beliefs, but there has to be some kind of commonality of, you know, we can be in the same space without having to be just alike.
Yeah, a set of beliefs. Someone can have a set of beliefs that are not generating love, and acceptance and, and, and compassion meeting meeting each other with compassion and a set of beliefs that would actually generate division separation isolation of anyone, and especially of family or friends or relatives. And it is it's shocking to me what that need to be right. You know, what is that about? What is it about?
Yeah, and a lot of times it does come down to not being able to, you know, we always put ourselves in boxes with belief systems at times. And it's not being able to see outside the box or being there's some fear based around that, right. Like I see with my, my dad, especially like he was he's grown up in this certain religion, and just the fear of letting that go is so unknown to him, because he's never known anything else. And that's what, you know, a case in miracles always talks about, it really, really comes down to one thing, right, love or fear. And so that fear can drive so many different emotions, whether that be anger, or and then you get that opposition again, right. So that fear can really drive that need to be right. So it's, that's when it's just so critical to, you know, really think about, you know, when you're in a situation where you have conflict, or you know, things are showing up in the world that you really don't like, where is it in me? That's making this show up? Because if we really all did that, and had that consciousness about where in me, is this showing up? Where do I need to be? sparse? Yep, what box? Am I putting myself in? And you'd be amazed at what you can see from just looking inside that way? Yeah.
Beautiful. All right, we're gonna take a break on the 2% podcast, we'll be right back.
Welcome back to the 2% podcast, we're talking to Janine free ver today. And we've talked about so far we've talked about not being in resistance to what we don't want to see in the world, but being a source of what we do want to see. And we've talked about the need to be right, and how that shows up. And, and how I'm a source for everything that shows up in the world. Right, what I what I want to see in the world, what I don't want to see in the world, and taking it back to myself. And so we mentioned forgiveness, and this as well.
Yeah, I think that was in my journey that has been a big one. Right? So there, you know, in 2010, when everything happened in my life, I I walked around really angry. You know about a lot of things I had to start over, you know, here this gentleman had just really messed up my life. You know, I felt like Vic, I really felt like a victim, right? And so it really had me in a space of not being able to create anything different in my life because I just seen my life as Oh, he just you know, I'm just such a victim. And so I think one of my first steps that was really one of the biggest things for myself was the forgiveness part. And in transformation, transformational training forgiveness is a little bit different than we might have thought of it in the past but it's really it has it that it could be no other way. So it could have been no other way right? My life happened that way it could have been no other way. So I could either continue to be that victim and in that space. Or I could decide I'm gonna leave it there in the past, be at peace, that it in surrender, that it could be no other way and move forward. And I remember that that bought me such peace. And it also put me back in a place of power. Like, I can start creating again, I can, you know, I have this clear template and that that what happened back there doesn't have to affect what I have going on here. It was a really powerful aha moment for me then. So, you know, the forgiveness was a really big key was key with my family to like, this could be no other way right now. So what can I create from here?
Let me read this real quick. This is from the work of transformation. The message about forgiveness is embodied in the following declaration. I set myself free, unless I choose to imprison myself with thoughts of this again. So really, forgiveness is for myself. It sets me free. That's correct. And, and also, you spoke right into it. We use forgiveness to relate to the past as it could not have been any other way in order to move on. And you were able to do that.
Yeah, yeah, I because this person that, you know, had committed suicide that, you know, heavily impacted my life. What can I do about that now, the only thing that I could do, my choices were to either continue to live in fear, and have that control my life and be a victim for the rest of my life. Or I could choose to start creating what I wanted to see in the world. So the transformation train, and you know how the universe sets things up perfectly. I had one more bad relationship after that. And I remember reaching out to a friend of mine named MJ. And he says, You know what, I have something for you. And he started talking to me about the transformational trainings, I enrolled immediately, I knew what I was missing. And so those, you know, all of those, like some of those distinctions about forgiveness, and being a stand, I've bought me so much freedom and peace, that it's brought me to a space I didn't think that I would ever attain.
Yeah, and the freedom that I hear out of your story is not the It's the freedom and the freedom and being a Stan not not what I'm constantly resisting, or what I'm constantly fighting against. And making a point and making a point in my political beliefs or making a point in my religious beliefs. That's, that's a fighting. And it's a fighting that I've experienced to be exhausting. And this work transcends the fighting and the bickering and the arguing, that I experience out in the world. And it transcends in a way of, I get to be the source of what I do want to generate, and what I want to see in the world, what I want to create what I want to have be created in the world. And then also, one thing you mentioned, you know, about victimhood, there was no power for you there.
There was there's no power, there's no freedom in that in a couple of things. You know, with that, I, you know, I have often found myself saying lately that he was really my best teacher, right? So this person that put me in a spot a victim, I'm wondering today, if I would be the person that I am, I obviously would not, had I not known him and had I not experienced what I experienced from him. So I would not be here today speaking with you. And I think of all the blessings that I've had since then, because I started my transformational training that I might not have started at this level without him. So his experience bought me so much. And even my my son who's who's transgender that actually experienced abuse at his hands says that today, like he was my best teacher, because he told me two things that what I didn't want to see in the world. And he taught me who, who to be. Um, so I mean, I think that there's a lot of power that can come from people that you feel like oh, man, I wish I would have never met don't get me wrong, I wish that my kids would have never suffered the view set his hands you know, so I'm not you know, saying that by any far stretch, but like, there is some take away from putting yourself in a situation like that. And, and I you know, I think about the accountability that I had to look at in myself for that situation. I'm like, How did I bring that kind of person into my life? So it took forgiveness for myself because I did bring this person into my office. Yeah, he I brought him in my space and why was that? And what internal work do I need to do? So that doesn't happen again. So as much as it was bad situation, there was so much I learned from it. And I'm, I'm grateful for the things that I got to learn from it. Yeah.
And then I, I believe it's A Course in Miracles mentions. Problem, challenge, opportunity, gift. Blessing. Miracle. Right. And so that, that, that takeaway, too, what am I what do I look at my life that happens, and I'm like, Oh, I've got this problem right now that I have to deal with. And looking at it, it's it's a shift in perspective, looking at a problem as a challenge, looking at a challenge as Oh, this is an opportunity, who do I get to be right now to solve this or create a solution or step into my creativity, or confidence or power to create a solution. And so an opportunity actually is a gift. And then a gift is a blessing, and from a blessing to a miracle? So it's a, it's a shift in perspective, where I can choose to look at something as a problem that I have right now. Or I can get to, oh, wow, this is a miracle that has taken place for me.
Right, right. And, and I just think of all of the people that I have in my life now. I think of, you know, just really who I'm surrounded with a man what a gift like, and I wouldn't have had that had had this course not happened the way that it did. And I had to I did a lot of work with forgiving myself. Like, it could have been no other way. Like, what I didn't know that I didn't know, right, you have that? You know, what I didn't know, I didn't know. And these life patterns I hadn't, you know, really, I didn't recognize them until I started getting into the work of transformation. And I'm like, so many aha, aha moments and so many breakthroughs of, you know, how do I want to end this here? So it was a lot of inner work.
Yeah, a lot of awareness that you developed and that you stepped into? Well, Janine, thank you so much for sharing. And there is a meditation that you brought for us.
Yes, it's actually a breathing technique. And I think it's really, really kind of key. Because it, you know, so much in the world, when we're stressed out. We, we don't breathe properly.
I may have been forgetting to breathe right now.
So I think the breath work, you know, we have this very simple breath work that people can do anytime. And it doesn't have to be a lengthy session, it can be you know, people can do this three or four times and get your it's actually your parasympathetic system. So you have two systems in your body, you have the sympathetic system, that's your fight or flight response, right? And then you have your parasympathetic, that's going to be your rest and digest. So many times when we're stressed out, we are in the, the sympathetic, you know, state way too long. And then you know, our hormones, we start utilizing cortisol. And that just really wreaks havoc on our immune system, or just our whole body. So I have a breath technique that you can utilize, actually, I suggested, if people can do this even five minutes a day, it's awesome. If you find yourself getting in a state of anxiety, panic attack, this will help it and it's actually called the 478 breath. And what you want to actually do is take your hand and put it on your diaphragm, because so many of us just breathe into our lungs, right? Like you feel that and you want to actually do diaphragmatic breathing. So what it is, is you breathe in for four breaths, or for four seconds, so you're gonna go hold your breath for seven. And then gently let it out for eight counts. So and if you can do that two or three times, then that will actually bring you back to where your parasympathetic system is kicking in. So if you want to try that one more time, let's do it. Yeah. Okay. All right. So you're ready to breathe. Okay. 234, hold 7654321 and then gently let it out for 887654321. And you can do that a couple of times, especially when you're feeling stressed and you're feeling panic. Come on. that'll take you right out of a
panic attack. Yeah. Even even just after twice i, it definitely creates like your grounding. Like, yeah, my my excitability and my wiggles kind of go down
and breathe in through your nose is like one of those key things too. I know that we've talked about that a lot. There's just been a lot of scientific research that, you know, just having the awareness of breathing through your nose is even more calming than, you know, mouth breathing, because you're getting a richer exchange of the oxygen in your bloodstream.
Thank you. Awesome. Thanks, Janine, thank you so much for being on the 2% podcast today.
Thank you. I appreciate me. It's been an honor.
It was awesome to have you on the 2% podcast and thank you for that breathing technique.
Thank you for having me and shout out to centerstage
We hope you enjoyed the 2% podcast today. And if you did, please like, share and subscribe. And if you want to get in contact with Janine, we're gonna drop your email address also in the description for anyone to reach out to you for yoga, breathing techniques or any support that's needed. Right? Absolutely. Awesome. Always. I hope you enjoyed the 2% podcast and stick around for future episodes.