Unbound Ambitions; Career. Relationships. Wellbeing

Breaking Free From Good Girl Syndrome

• Penelope Magoulianiti • Season 4 • Episode 4

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What if the "good girl" narrative keeps you from living your most authentic life?

In this episode of Unbound Ambitions:

  • We expose the roots and repercussions of the "good girl syndrome" that subtly dictates the lives of many women. 
  • We explore how societal expectations mold behaviors and stifle genuine emotions, ultimately limiting ambitions and fostering self-sabotage. 
  • Through personal stories and interactive exercises, we challenge these ingrained beliefs and guide you toward prioritizing your own desires and aspirations.
  • In this episode, we highlight the significance of acting for the right reasons and not letting external pressures shape your destiny. 

Learn practical strategies for pushing your boundaries, vocalizing your needs, and crafting the life you've always envisioned.

Plus, don't miss our exclusive invitation to the "ROAR to Success" free masterclass on October 24th.

Get ready for an empowering conversation filled with actionable insights and transformative takeaways.

Learn more and register for the free masterclass ROAR to Success, here. 

Enjoy xx

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Unbound Ambitions, the podcast where aspirations meet action, dreams fuel drive and every ceiling is just another floor to break through. Here we celebrate the power of persistence, explore the art of balancing career and personal life and unlock the secrets to growth and fulfillment. Whether climbing the corporate ladder, navigating entrepreneurship or finding harmony in your daily life, unbound Ambitions is your companion in journeying toward your highest goals. Join us as we get real about challenges, present valuable information and equip you with insights for a life that's as thriving as it is grounded. Because here we believe your ambitions are just the beginning. And now your host, penelope Magoilniti.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Hello and welcome to another episode of Unbound Ambitions, the podcast where we explore the tools, the mindsets and strategies to break free from limiting beliefs and create a life of freedom and fulfillment. I am your host, enelope Maglianiti, and today we are diving into something that affects so many women globally the good girl syndrome, and society teaches us to follow this unspoken rule Be a good girl, be quiet, don't rock the boat. But what happens when you follow that path for too long? But what happens when you follow that path for too long? No-transcript. In this episode we will unpack this good girl syndrome. We are going to cover what it is, where it has come from, how it impacts our goals and ambitions and, most importantly, how we can break free from it. But first let's see what it is.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

The good girl symptom is a belief system many women carry from childhood. It's when we are told to be good, meaning, stay in line, don't challenge the authority and prioritize others' opinions over your own desires. The message is clear be likable, agreeable and not too bold. And as I was conducting interviews for my book Close Out, I spoke with many women from around the world and one recurring theme for many it was the good girl syndrome. Most of us learn this from a young age. Phrases like good girls, don't do that, be nice or don't make a scene shape our behaviors and expectations. They mold us into someone who fits society's standards, but often at the expense of our own authenticity. It forces us to shut down our emotions, to divide emotions as good and bad, so we end up suppressing them instead, and I like to describe suppressed emotions as a volcano that at one point will erupt to release the tension. And unfortunately, this eruption is often at our own expense because another label, when it does it's added to us. So it can be oh, she cannot handle pressure, she's too emotional. It's like you can't win, and you can't win when you're inauthentic, let's be honest. And that's not the only consequence, I'm afraid, because the good girl syndrome limits ambition.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

When we internalize these outdated beliefs, we leadership positions or pursue goals that seem too ambitious. This is a subtle but powerful form of self-sabotage. We stop before we even start because we are afraid of being seen as too much, too loud or too demanding, and I personally experienced this growing up. I remember constantly being told that to be a good girl, to follow the rules, to avoid confrontation, and that belief stuck with me for years and influenced not only my career path at the beginning but also my personal life. And I suffered oh boy how much I suffered. Because I had this drive to succeed, to show how capable I was, but I was labeled as too ambitious and too loud at times. So I started holding myself back, questioning my thoughts and not sharing my views. In meetings, I became indecisive, sometimes seeking reassurance even though I knew deep down I was right. Because of this narrative, I was holding myself back. Sometimes. I wonder how many opportunities I've missed because I didn't want to step out of line, and that's why it's so important to start challenging the narrative, to start questioning the good girl mentality. How do we start? By recognizing that this belief isn't serving us anymore. It's not about being good or bad. As I already said, it's about aligning with what you want, not what society says you should want, and I want you to take a moment here to reflect. What messages have you internalized about being a good girl?

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Pause this podcast and grab your journal. Be honest. Describe the good girl persona. What does she do? How does she behave? How does she speak? Does she do? How does she behave? How does she speak? Is her voice strong and confident or very low? Does she stand up for her point of view or is she afraid to express her opinion in the first place? Does she show up in a meeting?

Penelope Magoulianiti:

You can discover so much from this exercise and once you go through this, answer this question then how have these beliefs impacted your decisions, whether in your career? Whether in your career, your relationships or your personal goals? And if you take me upon this invitation and you pause this episode to reflect on what I just gave you, you will realize how important it is to shift your mindset, to break free from this good girl syndrome. We need to shift our mindset. Instead of asking what will people think, ask yourself what do I want? Instead of fearing rejection, embrace the idea that being true to yourself is more important than being liked by everyone. There is so much power in the independent thinking. An independent woman is a good woman. A woman who wants to succeed is just as ambitious as a man. Nothing more, nothing less. We have to start embracing our desires without guilt and without apology. But for this shift to happen in society, we must first change how we see ourselves and our potential, and to do that, you must start voicing your opinions with confidence, even if they go against the grain. You must stop abiding by others' expectations.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Before you jump to the yes, take a couple of deep breaths and answer this question Is this something that is really going to help me? Is this something that I really want to do? Doing this will help me and my loved ones. Will it add to my overall well-being or take me away from my husband and my kids? And will it reduce time from what I really deeply care about and then understand the reasons behind your behavior? Is it because you really want to do it from the bottom of your heart or are you afraid of what others may think of you if you don't do it? We are so afraid of what others may think that we forget to consider the consequences of our actions for our health, our relationships and rest. In our effort to do this, we destroy ourselves in the process, and this is the sad reality.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

You might find what I am saying provoking and going against everything that you've learned. If you do, that's a good thing, because I'm not saying follow my suggestions blindly. This has never been my intention. I am inviting you instead to consider the real reasons behind wanting to be a good girl. This is only what I am asking from you, and please have in mind that you have a choice and you should learn to own your choices with confidence, not with resentment or anger or frustration.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

When you do something for the right reason, you don't feel these emotions. I want you to remember that you start owning your life the minute you start questioning the beliefs that have been holding you back. The expectations of others do not define you. You are free to create the life you want. Okay, this is what I had for you. Until next time, keep pushing boundaries and using your voice to express your needs and desires. Much love, I invite you to join me for my upcoming webinar, ROAR to Success, where we will dive deeper into breaking free from limiting beliefs and tapping into your full potential. It's happening on October 24th at 6pm, central European Time. To register, go to www. penelopemagoulianiti. com/roar I hope to see you inside.