EP 143: How She Re-Wrote Her Life By Writing Letters To 580 Facebook Friends With Best-Selling Author Amy Daughters

Do you ever write real-life letters anymore? 

ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

Have you ever unearthed an unexpected treasure from the depths of your social media connections? This episode takes you on a powerful journey with bestselling author Amy Daughters, who did just that—transforming a casual Facebook rekindling with an old friend into a deeply moving tale of compassion and support. Amy shares with us the emotional story behind "Dear Dana," born from her heartfelt letters to her friend Dana during the most challenging time of her life: her son Parker's battle with cancer. Our conversation is a vivid portrayal of the profound connections we can make when we take a step back from the digital rush and embrace the human touch of letter writing.

JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

0:00 Meet Amy Daughters

13:09 The Power of Handwritten Letters

27:05 The Transformational Power of Letter Writing

We encourage you to write a letter this week! It just takes a piece of paper, an envelope, a pen, and 1 stamp! 

CONNECT WITH AMY:

Facebook: @amyweinlanddaughtersauthor

Instagram: @smokinhotamys 

Website: www.amydaughters.com

Email: amydaughters@att.net - Connect & write Amy a letter! 

Buy “Dear Dana”: https://amzn.to/43pbaDI

Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com 

Contact The Show!

Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahnafulmer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ahnadfulmer

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Imperfectly Empowered podcast. When Amy Daughters reconnected with her old pal, dana on Facebook, she had no idea how it would change her life, though the two women hadn't had any contact in 30 years. When Amy learned that Dana's son, parker, was battling cancer, she felt supernaturally led to write the pair weekly letters. When Parker died, amy continued to write Dana. Eventually, dana wrote back and the two became pen pals. This transformational experience left Amy wondering if my life could be so changed by someone I considered just a Facebook friend. What would happen if I wrote all my Facebook friends a letter here to share her inspirational story? Welcome bestselling.

Speaker 1: 0:49

Author of Dear Dana. That Time I Went Crazy and wrote all 550 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter. This was the coolest book. This was such a fun read, and I say fun in the loosest sense. It's like fun if you enjoy the range of emotions, from sobbing to laughing, which I consider fun. Not everyone does, but it's such an incredible story and I would love to hear some of the backstory to the story and how you got to this place For those of you who are going to buy the book, which I hope is everyone that listens to this.

Speaker 1: 1:31

I want to tell you that my number one takeaway that we can filter the rest of this conversation through and you said it in the book is this idea of trying to create meaning in what feels like a meaningless world of social media, and this has just done that so beautifully trying to make meaning of that and creating meaning in it, because this is the world that we live in, and I just think the story is such a testament to how, first of all, god's using everything in our lives, including the mess that is social media, to bring about beauty. So, anyway, that's what we're going to filter this conversation through. It's really a beautiful story, but give us some of the backstory.

Speaker 2: 2:12

Right. Well, I like to tell the story in the frame of I was just minding my own business. I was going about life, just like we all do, and I got on Facebook one day, like we all do, and I'd always. There's this girl who I'd worked at a summer camp with like 30 years previously, like 1986. And her name had always been bouncing around on my head. I think that's God. Now Everyone's talking like, oh, what happened to Dana?

Speaker 2: 2:40

What happened to Dana? And so one day, what happened to Dana coincided with me on Facebook and so I put Dana's name in and there she is. It's Dana from camp from 1986. We have no mutual friends and of course I friend request her because that doesn't really matter and you know that's not like a meaningful move, like everyone does that. So I friend request her. Everyone does that, so I friend request her. She accepts my friendship request and then I stalk her.

Speaker 2: 3:09

I look at her page. I'm like this is Dana. You know, and I had heard that Dana had we probably spent six weeks together at this camp and we were both very loud and very thought we were funny, and so we immediately connected. But as far as like real solid, lucid memories, I didn't have a lot, I just knew she meant something to me, otherwise I guess her name would have popped back out of my head. So I look at her page and my immediate takeaway, because I had heard she had a bunch of kids and lived in Louisiana. All true, you know. My first takeaway was her hair was different because, like we're at camp, it was like all it was all like this is Facebook right.

Speaker 2: 3:48

These are the things that we noticed.

Speaker 1: 3:49

Let's be real. Right, I'm a real. I have a lot of depth. I'm admitting now my amount of depth as a human being. We all relate.

Speaker 2: 3:52

We all relate, you're just honest about it. But she had like a, you know, like a perm, like the eighties perm going and it was Brown, and now her head was was straight and blonde. I was like what happened, keratin? I mean there's lots of there's lots of, there's lots that's happened, but. But, but really, the first thing I saw was she had five kids. She had four daughters and one son. The son was the youngest child and she was with him at St Jude in Memphis, tennessee, and they, they were fighting cancer. So you know, when you hear St Jude, this is a serious situation.

Speaker 2: 4:22

And so I got, I got drawn in the story as a mom, as a person, as a human being, as a whatever. I immediately was like, wow, I know this person, kind of sort of, but she's going through what none of us even want to think about. So then then, step two of our connection was she. She started to ask like I started following along in the background with no involvement, and she started to ask every once in a while for people to pray. Now, she didn't say what she believed or what she didn't believe, she just asked for people to pray. I've always liked to pray, so I started to include her in my prayers and there was this sense of urgency that absolutely did not fit the circumstances. And the other framework of the story is like different levels of me being crazy and I frame that as God nudging me along. But I absolutely.

Speaker 1: 5:10

If you look back on the story, it looks like I'm wacko and so yeah, but it also is proof of you say this in the book, which I absolutely love is that there are supernatural threads that wind all through our lives and there's hugs on them and they make no sense in the moment and to the human perspective it's like wait what you're being tugged to do what? And it's because the Lord's literally pulling this thread. And when you learn to get more sensitive to that, you start to recognize like, oh no, this is the Lord pulling this thread and I'm just going to follow Right, and so, yeah, not crazy to me. Yes, Amen, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:48

Amen to that and I think that's absolutely wasn't. I think a lot of times only we only can really see that in hindsight, you know. But but the hope and that's and the book says this, because the story says this is a great story. You know, no-transcript, not contact her. I did not say. I contacted her at one point and said I'm praying for you, when she was going through a really hard time, and she responded but we didn't have any real. She didn't know. I was like prayer, she knew nothing about me.

Speaker 2: 6:36

And so he goes into remission, they go back home and it kind of goes on a back burner. For me. I was still thinking about him, I prayed for him some, but but then at the end of that year Parker gets sick again, he relapses, she goes back to Memphis and she's like you know, we really need people to pray for us, cause this is, you know, you could tell it was bad. And so I'm like, out of nowhere and I'm a writer and I I'm at the time I was writing about college football and I'd like have a Monday for a Tuesday and a Tuesday for a Wednesday. And uh, it was like Sunday I had gone to church and I was like oh my gosh, here's what I'm gonna start doing. I'm going to start writing them letters. I'm going to send letters to the Ronald McDonald house in Memphis, tennessee. Okay, that's crazy, because she doesn't really know who I am. I haven't seen her in 30 years. I look like a random stalker and what's the address Doesn't matter, we're Facebook friends.

Speaker 1: 7:24

I'm writing her letters Right and.

Speaker 2: 7:27

I hadn't written anybody a letter in 20 years probably.

Speaker 1: 7:29

Right.

Speaker 2: 7:30

So it wasn't like I was some girl on some letter writing thing, and so, and I was so invested and that's the thing, the story I was so fully and again I think it's God I was so invested without knowing it and I knew just enough, and so I sat down that Sunday and I wrote the first letter and I mailed it on Monday. And for like six to eight weeks I'm mailing these people letters and basically the letter said I'm thinking about you, I'm praying for you, and then you know my personality is I think I'm funny. So then I'd be like add some funny stuff and then be like I was. I was still skinny, I'm still hot, blah, blah, blah. You know all that and so you guys.

Speaker 1: 8:06

the book is hilarious. She's an excellent writer. I laughed out loud multiple times. It's brilliant. It was very, very funny. You are funny, Thank you.

Speaker 2: 8:28

And you are hot, all of the above, I affirm you. Oh, thank you, I would. I, I, I receive your affirmations. Um, so then, then you can tell Dana's posts, that became a shift, you know, towards it's. It's only like, like I said, six to eight weeks at the most. And then other people are posting about Dana. And again, guys, I know nothing about this family. I have not even liked any of her posts.

Speaker 2: 8:41

I'm on the outside end, but I am sending these letters and then I come home one Sunday after church and there's this devastating and it's in the book, that post. You know, parker passed away. He was 15 years old and it had nothing to do with me. I was, I cried, and I'm not a crier but then, like, I sent her a condolence card and then, like, I was like so what do I do? I felt so called to this whole send the card thing and I was like I don't know what to do. It had nothing to do with me and I was overfeeling it completely and I was like you know what? I'm just going to keep writing her letters. It was kind of a clear, kind of it wasn't a calling, there wasn't things that came down. I went in a field with a white dress on. I'm going to keep praying for it and writing letters.

Speaker 2: 9:26

So now I have to stalk someone to find out where to mail these letters in Louisiana. So I find her husband's address at work and I just crazily start sending her letters. So four months I'm sending letters to this law office address and she messages me on Facebook and says hey, my friends think this is hilarious. Hey, here's my home address. Like, please stop sending those letters to that address. But in that message she said you have no idea what the letters mean to me. And then that was just like that lit the fire and I was like you know what? Here we go. And so after a couple of months after that, I go to my mailbox and there's a letter from Dana.

Speaker 2: 10:06

And so this kicks off two years of us just communicating through the US mail. I would write her every week. She would write me about every other week. We still write each other, but these two years that we spent writing it was profound because, you know, we didn't know. I didn't know if she was reading my letters when or if she was reading them. She had no idea when I was reading her stuff. We shared on a level that made no sense. She shared about her grief. I looked at my life, life from the outside, and we didn't know. I didn't know what her politics were. I didn't know what her. I knew she believed in God, but I didn't know. I mean, I didn't know what't know.

Speaker 1: 10:42

what does that mean?

Speaker 2: 10:43

Yeah, and it didn't really matter and none of that matter. But then we started to trust each other. Like she would say stuff, like she would tell me something about one of her kids, and she'd be like you know, I've never told anybody this, but I know I can trust you. We literally have not spoken a word to each other in like 34 years, but we it was a very intimate relationship and there was zero expectations of anything. And she told me after the fact, like with the grief, you know, she was living life with these four daughters who'd lost their brother, the husband who had lost his son and her. And so she said, she said she walked into a room and they seemed like they were doing okay. She wasn't going to be like, oh my God, I'm about to lose all my stuff. And so she would write me and she would write about the grief. And I didn't respond a whole lot about the grief because I realized I didn't know what I was talking about. So I just kept telling her I love you, I'm praying for you, and she told me they would wait for those letters to come every week.

Speaker 2: 11:36

So about six months into writing, dana, well, the, the, when we went into the full exchange between Dana and I. I sat back and I was like you know, if God can do this with this one Facebook girl, like this random girl with the hair deal, then what else is out there? And I was like you know what would be really nuts? I'm going to write all these people a letter.

Speaker 2: 12:01

And so I got stationery made, I put everyone's name on an Excel spreadsheet, I shoved them all into a box, and then day one I just I made I had a journal and wrote down here's the rules of my project. I'm kind of a numbers girl and so I had it all lined out here's the rules and I started pulling names out of the box and I was like, oh, now I got to write these people letters and I never thought I would finish and I the the lack of, and I this wasn't an intentional thing. To start with, I had no idea what was going to happen. It blew up my life and it changed the way I look at everything and I didn't even intend to write this book. I was about 250 letters in and I was like this is a story that has to be shared.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Yeah, yeah, and you captured it so beautifully.

Speaker 1: 12:47

And one of the things that I think was a through line for me in reading it is that people crave the written word from someone who, from another real life human, whether it be spoken, written.

Speaker 1: 13:06

It's this idea of the difference because we can type something and send it, we can write something and send it, and yet there's data to suggest. Even in business, there was a poll that was put out and they asked what was one of the most meaningful things that you have ever received from a company, from your employer? And it was a handwritten card, personal to that employee, not just like hey, thanks for what you do, but actually calling out specific things that were appreciated about them, but it was handwritten. And just this idea of it's like people want to feel seen and heard and it's not happening via social media, in truth, and that I just thought was so neat, like you could have written the same thing on Facebook, but there was something about receiving an actual physical card that was handwritten to their address that made that much of a difference and I just think that's fascinating, like what have we lost? That that has made such a transformational difference for you and for other people is an interesting thing.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Right, and I think that you know and I and I and I had that experience over and over again and I did not understand what it was going to mean to people. But 600 times later, here's what I think you know. If, if you go to your let's say, I go to my mailbox and you mail me a letter let's say, just, we went to high school together, you know, and we had some kind of meaningful relationship in high school If I go out to my mailbox and pick a letter out from you, you know, and it's not irregardless of what you said, I mean, even if you like do four lines or four pages, it doesn't matter. But but you know, if I go out to that mailbox and I take that out of the mailbox. Here's what I'm going to understand right away.

Speaker 2: 14:57

You here's what you had to do, Anna, to make this happen. You had to sit down somewhere in your space, you had to find an envelope, you had to find a card, a letter, a note, whatever it is. You had to find a pen. You had to. You spent time just thinking about me and writing it down. And then it's next level, because then you had to put it in the envelope. You had to seal it. Oh wait, Anna, where are the stamps? And then I'm going to know that, what are stamps, what? And then you didn't just, you didn't just sit down and hit send you, you had to get in your minivan and drive across town and find a mailbox. And so it is so intentional and deliberate. I'm going to open it up, and the first thing I'm going to think, even before I open it, even before I opened it oh, my God, I matter to another human specifically, and you are going to blow the doors off my head and my heart. And then you put on top of it, depending on what you wrote and it's funny, because how I figured out what to write was just an end to a means I was like oh, so what am I going to say?

Speaker 2: 16:01

Right, like, what are you even going to say to these people? Well, I went and looked at their Facebook profiles and, over and over again, I was like oh, so what am I going to say? Right, like, what are you even going to say to these people? Well, I went and looked at their Facebook profiles and, over and over again, I was like okay, number one, I, these people are amazing, cause I didn't know that you went on to to do these amazing things with this podcast and your morning, which I love, your and, you know, your whole team. But I would have told you hey, anna, oh my God, you're rocking it.

Speaker 2: 16:23

And I didn't know that. I am so proud that we were friends. And then I'd be like and you know what else, anna, you helped me when my grandmother died. You stood by that payphone when that jerk broke up with me, you know, and you made a real difference. We ate lunch every day together for three years. I have not seen you in 25 years, but that means something to me. And I looked at your little kids on Facebook and I'm just so happy to get a window into your world.

Speaker 2: 16:47

This all came naturally. I'm not some rock star of a person, I'm just another skinny girl trying to stay married over here. But saying those things, my grateful meter went off the chart. I was like, oh my God, god put all these people in my life at the right time. But the biggest takeaway of all was, if I go through that process of writing you that letter and this was especially true if you wrote me back. But that wasn't really the point If we've had this meaningful exchange and the only thing on the line is goodwill. Then, all of a sudden, all those dividing lines that divide us right now politics, religion, gender equality, whatever it is, they still matter, but it slowly starts to dissipate Fade.

Speaker 1: 17:32

Yeah, yeah, and I think what's beautiful about it is it humanizes us. This is the problem with the virtual world that we live in is it's so easy to dehumanize each other, meaning the things that we would write, oftentimes on a social media post or virtually, we would have a much more difficult time saying to somebody's face, but it's like they don't feel as human because all we see is just this very intangible screen with what's like a photo or an image that oftentimes does not even accurately reflect who we really are. And I think that is what's like a photo or an image that oftentimes does not even accurately reflect who we really are. And I think that is what's so beautiful about this concept that you have written about and that you speak about is I think it humanizes us and it's empathetic in a way that we're missing virtually.

Speaker 2: 18:23

Right, and I think it's on both ends of the transaction.

Speaker 2: 18:25

That was beautifully said, because I think for the, for the writer of the letter, you know that deliberate, intentional task means you have to consider the person as as a flesh and bone, living creature, as opposed to this part of a Facebook profile. And on the other side of the transaction, the person feels seen and thought of and it makes them feel important and special. You know, I told every single person who received a letter. In the first paragraph, I was like here's why I'm doing this, like here's, dana and Parker, this is my why and I was very implicit I am writing every single one of my Facebook friends a letter. It's not like I'm writing the ones who I really know, and that was one of the rules. If I pulled your name out, I had to figure it out and write you a letter even before I found your address. But even though I said that over and over and over again, people were like you chose me, I was one of the chosen ones, I was picked, and that is a hundred percent reflection on how it made them feel.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Which is such an interesting you know. It's humbling to me because it's like I think in my own life. How easy it is, the busyness and the hustle, it is so easy to miss those moments where you slow down and consider how my behavior could make somebody feel Meaning. I could take the time right now, even standing in line waiting to pick up my kids from school, beside a woman Maybe she's had a terrible day Something as simple as noticing her, seeing her, even if it's a superficial, is acknowledging. Like her hair looks gorgeous today. Right, it's just that idea of like your hair looks beautiful today. It's just like those little things where we're living, like this, right on our phones. We literally walk around like this. We don't see people anymore, we don't look up, we don't look at people's eyes.

Speaker 2: 20:33

We don't see people anymore, we don't look up, we don't look at people's eyes, and that's to me. What I see here is it's this reminder to look up of your time and 66 cents, and that's that's if you're going to mail a letter. But you know, you can leave a note in someone's car or on someone's perfect example. Dana and I are BFFs now, and so she was at my house. We live about four hours apart now. She was at my house, I don't know, eight weeks ago, and she left a sticky note on my husband's mirror, on the the guest room mirror, and on this is just who she is. It turned out God knew who they were hooking up Like. She's an amazing, loud, really fun, out of control person, and then one on my computer monitor. Okay, this was eight weeks ago and all three of those notes are still up because they meant so much to us.

Speaker 2: 21:19

She's somebody who's in our regular life, but you know mine, I'll read it you. And she's somebody who's in our regular life, but you know mine, I'll read it. You, amy, are making a difference in the world, cause it's right here, you know, and I left that up because she didn't have to do that, you know, but it's that small, little intentional moment where I felt seen and heard. You know, and I'm not going to take it down, my husband's was like thank you for putting up with my loud mouth and my shenanigans, but my husband's not a sentimental person. He's not taking it off his bathroom counter, but that's the power of a handwritten note or letter and it's off the chain what it can do.

Speaker 1: 21:53

Yeah, it's absolutely beautiful. Well, what Amy didn't realize she was signing up for with this interview is we're going to play a little quick game of would you rather? We're going to get to know her a little bit better, and then we're going to tap into more of her expert advice on how to rewrite your life by writing a letter. Okay, here we go. Would you rather chicken or a hamburger?

Speaker 2: 22:19

Oh boy.

Speaker 1: 22:21

Oh, she's like, this is stressful. I'm never coming back here again.

Speaker 2: 22:24

So I pick both because I'm hungry, but I said chicken probably, you know chicken.

Speaker 1: 22:32

Yeah, okay, would you rather camp in the woods or a house on the beach?

Speaker 2: 23:42

I like both those two. Two I would have to go with the beach just because of the sound of the waves where, where do you guys live?

Speaker 1: 23:49

super side note oh, I live in houston and dana lives in texas.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Okay, yeah, lafayette louisiana is where she lives yeah gotcha.

Speaker 1: 23:56

Where do you guys vacation? Do you have a lot of good beaches in texas? This is clearly my geographical ignorance. Coming in here, I mean, I know you're surrounded by water, but are there good beaches?

Speaker 2: 24:07

No, the best beaches close to us is Alabama. You got to go the other direct, you got to go.

Speaker 1: 24:12

Oh, interesting.

Speaker 2: 24:13

Yeah, so going towards Alabama, going towards 30A and Florida, you know those are the best beaches because there are beaches in Texas, but it's a different kind of sand and a different kind of and so really it's worth your while to drive four or five hours towards Dana and pass her and then pick her up on the way and then go there.

Speaker 1: 24:31

Yeah, that sounds, sounds like a plan to me. Would you rather dog or cat Dog? Do you have dogs? I had a dog that passed away and I like cats too, but I like the dogs so, um, clearly, amy, what we're hearing here is that she's a both and person. We're both and love it. Would you rather go water skiing or scuba diving? Scuba diving have you been?

Speaker 2: 25:02

uh no, but I've been snorkeling so I got a little bit of an idea. Maybe you know a little taste.

Speaker 1: 25:07

Yeah, a little taste. I feel like scuba diving would be right up your alley. I feel like you would like it. Would you rather shop online or in a store?

Speaker 2: 25:16

oh boy, I like to shop online, you know I like. Where's your favorite? Like to shop online, you know I like where's your favorite place to shop online? Oh I, you know I like eBay and Amazon, but I love buying stuff inappropriately on Instagram. That's one of my favorite hobbies. It's like a sport. You know I like to see.

Speaker 1: 25:32

I just got dressed yesterday.

Speaker 2: 25:34

It's my Instagram dress. I'm very excited about it.

Speaker 1: 25:41

Is it going to be for real or not? That is the Russian roulette that you play, buying on instagram. It's like is it going to fall apart as soon as I open the package, or is it actually going to be nice? It's so true shoes are where I get stuck. Instagram, it's like as soon as you just breathe in the direction of an ad. Suddenly now they know exactly what to put on your profile.

Speaker 2: 25:57

For me, it's always shoes yes, yeah, little little dresses and like items that I could prank somebody with, like fake outlets or, you know, like stuff when are you shopping?

Speaker 1: 26:08

Where are you shopping? Fake outlets? That sounds fun.

Speaker 2: 26:11

Oh yes, like little like stickers. They're not stickers, though, they're, like you know, because you can take them back off.

Speaker 1: 26:15

You just put them on the wall.

Speaker 2: 26:16

Yeah, you go to somebody's house and like add a few outlets so they're trying to plug their phone into it. I mean it's a great. It's a great. You know few little gags Boy.

Speaker 1: 26:29

I love that.

Speaker 2: 26:30

Is there like just a gag store that you shop on, or are these?

Speaker 1: 26:32

things just like popping up. It's like the Holy Spirit literally just dropping these gag ads for. Instagram, Cause they're not. It's not a store specifically, it's just no, just stuff that people who are immature might enjoy. Like like you and me, I actually really want to know where these stickers are. That sounds highly amusing. I want to do it to my kids actually.

Speaker 2: 26:51

Yeah, I can hook you up. Yeah, my kids, my kids Send it for them now. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:57

Okay, awesome, I'm so excited. Oh, my son's going to be so mad. It's going gonna be great. You've talked about the power, the transformational power, that you experienced of writing letters and, towards the end of the book, you share some of your takeaways that came out of this story and I would love to hear what are some of these um takeaways? I mean, you guys, you need to get this book. Truly, you will laugh, you will cry. It's really inspirational. It has been for me but I would love to hear some of the just like the overall life lessons. You shared some of them already, but things that, like you, are going to see a change in your life when you take these steps.

Speaker 2: 27:43

Right. Well, I think you know to frame that. First of all and this is what I love about your early morning habit, because one of my early morning habits is and it's almost like adrenaline the note letter writing thing for me, and it's almost like I can't because I, if you would ask me, after letter 580, when's the next time you're going to write a letter?

Speaker 2: 28:04

I'd be like never, except for today, because I'm done with these letters, but every day I sit down, every single day I sit down and I write somebody a card or a note or a letter, because, first of all, that 18 months I was writing those letters, that was the absolute best version of me. That's who I want to be if I could be one person. So that opens up my gratitude, that opens up my perspective that there are other people out there. It doesn't just honor the story, it's like that's a part of me and that's, you know.

Speaker 2: 28:36

And what I'm doing now is, you know, I'm on Facebook like everybody else and I screenshot when I see someone's lost somebody, or I I screenshot when someone's won the award, or I screenshot when blah, blah, blah, congratulations, sympathy, thank you, and I have a little notebook and I write it down. And then I send one or two cards a day, you know, because, like I said, that keeps me like between the, between the beacons. You know, like I grateful, keeps my life in perspective, makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the world, because it seems so, it seems too simple, it seems almost too easy, but it's not so. I'm not sure that was a lie and it resonates.

Speaker 1: 29:17

It resonates with people. I mean you. This story, this book, was featured on all kinds of massive outlets like share, some of the places that you have shared this story Well, the most incredible, I mean the top of the top, was Kelly Clarkson.

Speaker 2: 29:32

had Dana and I on the show together, and you know, to go to LA to be on the Kelly Clarkson show with your best friend, you know, and to let her share the story of Parker, cause that's where this all starts, you know, because it's no coincidence, friends, that Parker loved Jesus you know and Parker wanted to be a youth minister.

Speaker 2: 29:51

You know, and and and I'm not going to say, you know it's hard to say because it will be forever hard to frame to try to frame Dana's loss in some kind of especially now that I'm best friends with her in some kind of oh my God, this is so great, because it's not.

Speaker 2: 30:06

I mean, she's going to suffer every day for the rest of her life, you know, and that's what made writing the book hard, that's what made, you know, but they, but that family has been along for you know, every single step of the way. But we were on the Kelly Clarkson show. I mean, we've, that was our, our biggest hit, you know, and, and you're right, it's because, um, I'm proud of the book, but it's the story and to me it's, it's God's story. I can frame it however they want to, cause I wrote to so many people who don't believe what I believe, um, you know, but, but it is, it is, it's the story and it's the power of individual connections and it's the hope that we offer each other, because I think we're desperately seeking for something that's out there. And, yes, social media has a lot to be accountable for, but you and I wouldn't be having this conversation without it, so I look at it as a jump off point.

Speaker 2: 30:55

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, it's a jump off point for real relationships. You know, if I look at my list of friends now, if I looked at it at the beginning of that project because I did it was like this list of random people that I knew to different degrees, but now it's this treasure trove of actual human relationships and we all have that. And it's not about writing a 17 page letter, it's not about writing 600 letters. It's about doing something intentional, like you said, between you and another human being that has nothing but goodwill or hope on the line. That's what the message is.

Speaker 1: 31:38

I love that and something that you said in here that really resonated with me, because I've seen this in my own life, and especially as a virtual entrepreneur. This is something that I have had to grow in their life. Though we will get glimpses, we can never know the full impact that our actions have on other people. While we can't gauge the ripple effect of our attempts at goodness, we should never stop trying, and this is really poignant because we have to see it to believe it. It's this idea that we are so desperate for affirmation. It's like we need that verbal affirmation to really believe that we're making a difference and it is important.

Speaker 1: 32:22

It's like we need that verbal affirmation to really believe that we're making a difference and it is important, and we as humans need to get better at verbally affirming, as we have already established, whether it be writing or you just see the person you're like your hair looks gorgeous today, by the way, right. We just need to start doing that more liberally. However, the point is being made that you need to be able to get to a place in your life where you do it simply because it is filling you with joy. To be generous, right and recognizing. You might not get anything back, but when you can give without that expectation, there's so much abundance in that, even if you get nothing back and you have no idea how it could make that impact and you did that so well in this book. Share that.

Speaker 2: 33:04

Yeah, well, that that was one of the. That's one of the most. You know. That's in the book. One of the first 20 letters was to my sister-in-law and she was the one who kind of who, really in a text she said I've had cause, so many people. Even now people are like I'm so sorry I didn't respond to your letter. Like five years later I'm like I'm good because one the numbers, there were so many letters, there were so many responses that it got out of control. So I and you know I was fine with that. But she said you know, she basically said you know, I've had a letter on my desk for two weeks trying to figure out what I'm going to say back to you and she said don't think, because someone doesn't respond, that the letter isn't everything, because not everyone will know what to say back and that it might have changed them. And I think that's what you said. It's such a beautiful testament to our human nature as we want to know, especially in the electronic age. We want to know.

Speaker 2: 33:57

But, I can't tell you how many times people have told me after the fact what the letter meant to them. I was just I was on vacation with my husband and my youngest son last week and we stopped and I had sent this person, who's the daughter of one of my husband's friends, a birthday card last year and I put like unicorn stickers all across the back and like all this, all this crazy stuff. And she said and I knew nothing, this was like eight months ago. I knew nothing about what happened to it. She didn't respond because you don't have to respond to a birthday card. That's the beautiful thing about that.

Speaker 2: 34:30

But she said she literally just had her first baby. She was losing her mind. She's trying to breastfeed this kid, you know. We a lot of people out there have been there, you know. And she said her husband's brother was staying with him and she was literally about to lose all of her stuff. You know, she walked out the mailbox thinking, man, I just can't, I can't do this anymore, like I am at the end of my rope. She said she pulled that letter, that birthday card, out of the mailbox. She said it literally saved me.

Speaker 1: 35:01

And I had no idea.

Speaker 2: 35:02

I mean, this was eight months ago. I didn't remember doing it. You know but but, but that but. But that's the beautiful thing about dropping something in a mailbox You're not going to know, you're not going to really ever know. You might get glimpses, like that passage you just read said but but it, it, but. That's not just letter writing, that's in life.

Speaker 2: 35:21

We can't stop trying to do what we are so inspired to do, and it's going to be different. Each of us are going to have a different thing that we feel inspired to do, but this story, the story of you, Anna, is the story of people, you know, following through on those things, not knowing what they're doing and just deciding not to stop. You know, to me, God was the reason I couldn't have stopped, even if I wanted to. You know, people give me a lot of credit. I don't. I feel like I just did what I was supposed to do, you know. But but the key is to keep encouraging each other to do whatever it is we're inspired to do. You know, this story came to fruition to me because I had friends who, who saw it for what it was and pushed me through it, and a family who did those same things.

Speaker 1: 36:08

Well, it's just, it's such a beautiful Testament and the the book is really inspiring me and for me it was really a reminder. For me, it was a reminder to slow down. I am an intentional person to a fault. Actually, it's almost like because then that goes into everything and so I'm all about like time efficiency, right, which is one of the downsides to intention, and and the downside as well is like sometimes I don't pause like I used to do when I was younger and I didn't have a business to run and I didn't have multiple children and I wasn't married, and so I had the time to be writing the cards, to be sending the notes, to be doing those things, and now that life has gotten so busy, I am not as good about that.

Speaker 1: 36:50

And this reminder to me was it's worth slowing down and it's not all about time efficiency, like. The fact is, there's beauty and just generously giving in those moments where there's I'm going to receive nothing, there's no end goal, it's not going to further my you know, my business, or or whatever. It's just simply to give joyfully and see someone, and then I need to take more time to do that, and that was, that was for me personally. This really reminded me to do that.

Speaker 2: 37:23

That's, that's beautiful, and I think that you know, you know the. I think the common perception is if, if you write me a letter, if Anna writes me a letter and I receive it, and you tell me, you know what I've meant to you, or thanking me for something, or you know recognizing something in me, that the person who's going to feel the best about that is me, the recipient. But but I can tell you from experience, the person who is going to walk away the most changed is you. You are going to be the one because it's going to do something to reorder your life. So there's two sides and again I called it a transaction because that's what it is.

Speaker 2: 38:01

There's two sides to this transaction. One is the person at the mailbox who's literally and I cannot overemphasize this people are going to lose their minds if you write them a letter, if you write them a postcard. People are going to lose their minds if you write them a letter, if you write them a postcard, if you put a post-it note in an envelope. They will lose their literal minds. You will blow it up like you don't think you have the, you don't think you can, but even if you don't hear back from them. Let's say you're back from one in five. I heard from about back from about 74% of the people who I wrote to. But even if you don't hear back from them, you can just sit back in bed at night and imagine boom, boom, boom. Because even I think almost the ones you have to imagine are better than the ones that you know about, because you know, when you put your head on the pillow at night, you made a difference.

Speaker 2: 38:46

And we're living in a world right now where we are over and over again reminded that we can't make a difference. We were reminded that the wall is too high, you know, for us to knock it down or to climb over. We can't grasp people's hands on the other side. Well, I am here to tell you that that is wrong. That is wrong One. You know, I've always framed it and our God is too big. I mean, our God will come up with some crazy stuff, you know, if we let him. But people can frame that however they want to. That's the way I see it. But there's absolutely nothing big enough to separate us.

Speaker 1: 39:21

Yeah, it's beautiful, dear Dana. That time I went crazy and wrote all 580 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter. We will, of course, have the link to this in the show notes. Your website, if I'm correct, is amydotterscom correct and where else can they follow you and all of your fun craziness?

Speaker 2: 39:41

my shenanigans. Yeah, I've got a Facebook author page Amy Wineland Daughters. And then my Instagram is smoking hot. Amy S of course it is why would it be?

Speaker 2: 39:54

But all the links are on my website. And then I love to hear from people and one of the great things about this story is is I'm sure you have a similar story. It's connected to me, to so many like-minded people, and this podcast connection is a perfect example, because here we've got two people on the line who, basically, are going for the same thing but we're going about it in different ways. And now God has connected us in this meaningful way and you've allowed me to share the Dear Dana story with your audience, which is super humbling.

Speaker 2: 40:29

But over and over again I've heard from people who write letters, who write cards, who have inspired me to do more. I mean stories of people who you know. There's this lady who's like 85 who wrote me and she said that she grew up on the street with like 12 kids and so after reading Dear Dana or listening to one of the podcasts I was on, I can't remember she wrote every single one of those kids on that street and talked about the things she remembered. You know, one guy had just retired and he picked 20 people from his life and he went and hand delivered 20 people who had an impact on him a letter, you know so it's a beautiful thing. So feel free to contact me via email and I'd be happy to you know.

Speaker 1: 41:09

Discuss letter writing and impact and those things to, uh, you know, discuss letter writing and impact and those things. So, and give us, um, give us the best email address, and then do you have a physical address, people can send you a card if they desire to, yeah.

Speaker 2: 41:22

If they want that you hand out, yeah. If people want to hand, just email me and then I'll I'll send them my address.

Speaker 1: 41:28

Yeah, and what is the best email? Let's get this on air.

Speaker 2: 41:32

Yeah, amy, daughters at a t t dot net in et, and that's my personal email address, so that'll get to me first. But I would, I would love to hear, and I will give you my address and I will. We can write each other, cause again, I, I'm, I'm going to write somebody, so why, why wouldn't it be you?

Speaker 1: 41:53

Yeah, I love it. You guys, if you need a word of encouragement and you do not realize how it's going to change your own life, and if this is where you are at right now, I just encourage you to take Amy up on that amydottersatnet and let her know that you would like to write a letter. It's going to change your life. You're going to get to hear from her and, if you haven't already figured it out, your life will be improved and changed and made more beautiful when you hear from Amy. So I highly encourage you to shoot her an email. Amy, it's such an honor to have you. It was just like reading this was truly like a little smile from the Lord. I felt like just to see how he is pulling other people's lives in just amazing ways, and it just encouraged me to make sure I am following through on those tugs on my heart as well. So I just pray God's blessing over your heart, your home and all of the many, many people that you write.

Speaker 2: 42:43

Thank you so much, Anna. It's an honor to be on with you and I feel like you know, God connected us and our audiences for a reason, so thank you very much for the work you're doing.