EP 145: An Event to Renew Connection and Confidence With Your Daughter With Traci Peterson

ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

This episode is also a heartfelt invitation to explore the power of mother-daughter connections—a theme central to Traci's transformative event in Utah. Envision a community where strong women and their daughters come together for two days of emotional and personal growth, engaging in activities designed to kindle self-confidence, compassion, and the nurturing of the familial bond. We talk about everything from community service with Mothers Without Borders to sessions on nutrition and makeup, all created to empower the next generation of girls. Join us as we celebrate the enduring relationship between mothers and daughters, and the communal wisdom that supports young women in becoming resilient, self-assured individuals.

JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

0:00 Creating Connection With High-Achieving Mothers
12:34 Mother-Daughter Movement for Connection
26:27 Mother-Daughter Connection and Generational Shifting

CONNECT WITH TRACEY:

Instagram: @Tpete & @Motherdaughtermovement 

Buy tickets for the Mother/Daughter Weekend www.tracipeterson.com

Use Code BBG10 for 10% OFF 

Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com 

Contact The Show!

Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahnafulmer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ahnadfulmer

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Tracy, welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:02

Thank you so much. I am happy to be here with you.

Speaker 1: 0:06

We were just talking about everything from laryngitis to allergies, to when our kids get into our tech equipment when you work from home. We had a whole conversation offline before we even started.

Speaker 2: 0:19

Totally, and then they unplug everything and plug it back in the wrong one and you're like wait, I can't do my stuff, yeah, and then the computer shuts down.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Yeah, everything's disconnected. Children. Well, it's really funny actually that we're talking about chaos and children, because children are, in fact, the reason that Tracy is here today on the podcast, which is really fun. We're going to dive into it, but for those of you listening and watching, tracy is hosting this amazing event and it promotes something that I'm very passionate about on the podcast, which is creating connection within our families and being intentional about being present with our children. And what I really enjoyed I met Tracy it was like a year ago now, I think and heard her vision for this event, this mother-daughter event, and I remember thinking at the time because you were explaining that you're especially targeting high-achieving mothers and their daughters and it made me laugh because for some people, they hear that and they're like why qualify it? But if you are that mother and you have that daughter, it's an instant sense of like oh yep, that's us.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Yep, you're like, you're my people, I know it and there's a strengths and weaknesses all involved in that that are kind of inherently understood. So before we dive into that, let's press rewind a little bit. Tell us a little bit about you, what you do and how you ended up where you are.

Speaker 2: 1:54

Yeah, well, my background is actually in medicine, so I'm a board certified family nurse practitioner and I know we have that background and that, that shared commonality which I, which I love.

Speaker 2: 2:07

I think that's why, you know, we're drawn to sort of the high performing woman, because from very early on I would say I was, I was a high achiever, right. Those were, that was sort of the expectation Cause. When you have sort of these natural gifts and these abilities, as you know, my parents wanted me to to fulfill my potential, right. And so you know I I grew up very young wanting to go into the medical field and and I did that and, you know, pursued my master's degree and and was going down that path and I worked in family practice for about seven years and then the last eight years or so I've worked in medical aesthetics because I needed just a little bit more flexibility and um and freedom with my family. You know I had young kids. I've got three kids. They're now 11, nine and six, two of which are girls I'm there, their bookends and then I've got my little boy in the middle and about six the exact same ages, by the way.

Speaker 1: 3:09

Oh my gosh. I did 11, nine, six girl, boy, girl, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2: 3:14

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Well it to me. I feel like I don't know. I feel like I'm in this magical phase of parenting right now where I don't know. I think each parent has their proclivity to like different phases and stages. Yeah, yeah, yep, and I feel like this is mine, like this is kind of where I feel like like I, I shine, you know, or I'm going to, but, um, as I started having kids, I again was which I think high performing women do.

Speaker 2: 3:46

We sort of have this inner tug of war that happens, where we have these desires to be a connected, present mother, and then we also have these desires to do different projects and maybe be an entrepreneur or have these business aspirations outside of the home, and I sort of wrestled and played this tug of war with what that would look like for me.

Speaker 2: 4:12

And so, about six and a half years ago, I stepped into entrepreneurship and so we've now built a business focusing on mental wellness and physical wellness. We're in over 16 countries now mental wellness and physical wellness we're in over 16 countries now. But I mentor and I coach people, especially high-performing women, in entrepreneurship, in how to build a business around being the healthiest version of themselves and what that's provided for me and what it's given me and I still work as a nurse practitioner. That's that's the fun about it is is all sides of my personality you can serve. You know you don't like pick one lane and one box, cause sometimes that one lane you evolve and you sort of not necessarily outgrow it, but you just evolve and you want different things and you desire different things in your heart, and so I love your business name.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Business name is for people.

Speaker 2: 5:12

Yes, so the business is called Amare and it means to love. It's the mental wellness company and it's a direct selling affiliate marketing company. And then I also have my private practice called Elevate Wellness and Aesthetics, and so what that's afforded me is a nice residual income so that I can pursue different passion projects. I still mentor and build that business. I'm so passionate about it because it helped me to find my, my voice and it helped me to find my purpose, because as a nurse practitioner, I just want to help people, like I want to help people get healthy.

Speaker 2: 5:51

And as nurses you know this like we educate and we advocate. We advocate for our patients and we educate them on on health and as I've evolved as a practitioner, I I've taken a little bit more of a holistic view of health. That that is backed up, obviously, you know, by by Western medicine and Western science. So but that's what kind of spurred this, this, this mother daughter movement is about two years ago and my daughter, my oldest daughter, quinn, she's nine and a half she said to me it was just like regular afterschool activities. I know you can probably relate to this with with your kiddos. Like you know, tv's on in the background, you're doing dishes and and I'm, you know, picking up a plate and putting it away, and picking up a cup and putting it away, and picking up a spoon and putting it away, or I guess it'd be putting it away in the drawer and then I see this fork like down.

Speaker 2: 6:46

You know those forks on it, that like it's stuck in like the dishwasher hole the dishwasher fork and you're like, how in the world did that fork get under there? And it was so ironic because I remember standing up with this fork in my hand and my daughter Quinn says to me mom, can we do woman lessons? And I was like it's so funny.

Speaker 2: 7:12

It's so funny. And I was like as a nine-year-old and I was like, sure, hon, like what do you want to know? Like I'm a woman, I'm standing right here. What are the things you want to learn? And she said, well, I need you to teach me how to do my makeup, how to put together an outfit, and I want to learn how to cook. And I was like, first of all, that is so sweet. Like in my brain I'm thinking that is so sweet.

Speaker 2: 7:40

But as the high performing entrepreneurial work working outside of the home, I started down this like cycle of a little bit of self-criticism and I was like is that all that she thinks it means to be a woman is what we look like and what we do and what we cook for our people, you know?

Speaker 2: 8:04

And so I'm standing there with this fork in my hand and I'm like this is a fork in the road for me. And I don't know if you've ever had those experiences where it's almost like time slows down and you remember almost every detail. And for a mom that has a million things going on in her brain at one time, for time to sort of slow down and for me to remember every single moment and every single thought that I had as I was standing there with the fork in my hand. I call those one minute moments where it's these formative moments for you as a parent and for you know, your, your, your children or your daughter specifically, that changes everything. Where you could just kind of take it in passing and you're like, yeah, sure, babe, we can do women lessons.

Speaker 2: 8:54

I'll teach you how to do your makeup you know, or you go down this path that's just a couple of degrees different, and you start getting introspective and you're saying what are the lessons that I want her to know? What type of woman do I want her to grow into, what type of woman am I? And then I'm modeling the type of behaviors that I want her to grow into and for her to replicate. And so I was like is that all I'm showing her is how to put together an outfit and how to do my makeup? And those things are fine, those things are fun. Like, like it's great.

Speaker 2: 9:34

And yes, that's part of partly what you know, makes us, makes us a woman. But I was like, oh, how can I teach her to be self-assured? How can I teach her where true confidence comes from? Because it doesn't come from our external world, it comes from looking inward and upward. In my opinion, and because I don't want her to repeat some of the same patterns and some of the same struggles that I experienced in my life, revolving around self-criticism and perfectionism.

Speaker 2: 10:08

And you know, those are some very unhealthy behaviors that, if we're not careful, I think well-intentioned mothers inadvertently project our insecurities onto our daughters, and so the way to to avoid that is to constantly be personally developing ourselves from a place of self-compassion, from a place of self-love, knowing that it is a daily practice and, you know, it's getting 1% better every day, and so that's really kind of how I created these woman lessons and wanted to create this mother-daughter movement, where it's grounded in connection and protection for mother and daughter and helping them to overcome self-criticism, working through some of our insecurities that we have as women, but making sure to find our validation in the right places and again, in my opinion, which is looking inward and upward.

Speaker 1: 11:11

Well, and it's a beautiful concept, because I think what we often miss in general this is our human nature when we talk about protection is self-protection, and so that also includes not sharing our mistakes, trying to cover up our imperfections, especially for our children, because we think we're helping them when in reality, part of that self-development is looking inward and then, I think, also vulnerably, being willing to communicate with our children at age, appropriate seasons, our own struggles and how we are growing and to sort of help normalize imperfection and normalize growing, and to sort of help normalize imperfection and normalize growth, yes, and how there's nothing. It almost removes the power of the fear of exposure that we don't have it all together and from a young age. So what I love about an event like this is, you know, in my mind, one of the goals would be to create space for mothers and daughters to also have very real vulnerable connection. Because we're so busy and high achieving we don't have time. You're trying to have a real conversation over breakfast, when, like you said, it's chaos, or over dinner, where you're hustling to get to sports or music or fill in the blank.

Speaker 1: 12:31

So that's one of the beauties of events like this. So, for everyone listening and watching, it's in Utah June 7th through 8th and the idea is it's called a mother-daughter movement grounded in connection and protection. It's a Friday, saturday event. It's very reasonably priced. I'm literally looking at the website as I speak and, yeah, to me this is one of the beautiful things about events like this is we remove ourselves from the daily grind and create spaces for conversation. So tell us a little bit more about how those conversations, how those moments, are transpiring at an event like this.

Speaker 2: 14:09

Yes, great, great question. And to your point, I think it's in the vulnerability and in the honesty of these conversations and having these connected moments. I mean that's how actually connectedness is correlated with minimizing self-criticism. So this is not just about the feel good mother daughter, like you know, it kind of sounds like airy, fairy, fluffy stuff, which is still great, because these little girls between the ages of nine and 12, they just want to do stuff with their moms. They are in this stage of psychosocial development that Erickson calls identity and confusion. They're trying these different hats on for size and they're trying to identify who they are and who they want to become.

Speaker 2: 15:02

And but this is less. I mean, it's less airy-fairy and it's honestly, it's to mitigate risk, like if we want to make sure that our daughters are self-assured and don't struggle with self-criticism or criticism of others or self-judgment, which can lead to insecurity and all of those things that I think a lot of women, so many women, deal with. I mean 46% of women criticize themselves at least one time before 9am, like that's one in two. That means you or me have already criticized ourselves at least once today. Right, and that's this pattern and and self-criticism is a learned behavior. Therefore, connectedness is a predictor of having an improved state of uh and avoiding self-criticism and improving self-compassion. So so the way we set these events up is it's all about connectedness. So we move very fast paced.

Speaker 2: 16:11

We want to create and nurture environments of community and facilitating conversations, just like you said, like those vulnerable conversations.

Speaker 2: 16:30

It it's sort of a generational thing, I feel like maybe our parents and maybe this resonates with you or not it was sort of like they can do no wrong. Let's talk about things behind closed doors and something that I love about our generation is that we're willing to be vulnerable and have some of those conversations so that we can show kids what repair looks like and what imperfection looks like, and that's okay. Like mom messes up, sometimes mom yells and that's wrong and there's no reason for why I should do that. And so being able to work on those things and be honest and vulnerable with our kids just really fosters a sense of growth. And you don't have to be perfect to be loved. You don't have to be perfect to be worthy, you don't have to be achieving anything to be enough, and so really, the whole setup is friday night. We're going to do a service project for mothers without borders um, which I think is imperative. I love, I love service oriented things and and tell us about mothers without borders.

Speaker 1: 17:42

Yeah, what is mothers without borders?

Speaker 2: 17:44

yeah. So mothers without borders is an organization, um. They have a facility in Zambia, in Africa, and it's a place where they house and home and help essentially to rehabilitate emotionally and physically and mentally women who have been physically abused, sexually abused, sex trafficked. And these are girls between the ages of nine and 12, the population that we help serve, and then a lot of these older women and their mothers, and so we're partnering with Mothers Without Borders and one of the lessons that we teach is how important your community is and that your community counts, and how it's important to make sure that. And these this is what's cool, ana is these are lessons that apply and it is more preventative for these nine to 12 year olds. These are lessons they should learn, but the moms need to be reminded of these things too, because you know we could you can take your girl and put her in a camp where she feels good, she learned some skillsets, right, but then if she comes back home and she's surrounded in her community with the same patterns right, sometimes that are unhealthy or aren't serving them, they're just going to slide back into those patterns again. So this is a place where mothers and daughters can come together and in a connected way, personally, develop and grow, and so one of the lessons we teach about your community is to be a candle lighter, and so we're going to have each girl take a picture of themselves, write three things about themselves and then write an inspiring message to this little girl in Africa. So this is a way that she's going to light the candle of a girl on the other side of the world. And then Mothers Without Borders is going to do the same thing in Zambia. They're going to have the girls take a picture of themselves, write three things about themselves, and that girl is going to share an inspirational quote with the daughter here in the United States. So that's going to be, that's going to be awesome.

Speaker 2: 19:51

And then we'd have tons of fun too. Like we're, we're going to do a dance party, a karaoke, um, and then all day Saturday, we're flying in experts, um, on how to build true inner confidence, um, and lighthearted things too. We're flying in. You know Jessica Papineau, yeah, so Jessica is going to come in and do like an authentic styling workshop for mothers so fun. And then we're having a nutrition specialist who I love. She's a dear friend of mine, her name is Tana Fox. Um, she, she has live right nutrition, and she's going to talk about nutrition from a place of self-love instead of self-loathing, and then we're going to do a mother-daughter makeup workshop, and then we're going to do we're going to talk about how you are more than your body and aspects, about about that, and we also talk about how to identify your divine gift, and so we go through a worksheet with them, and so the mom gets to find out what her divine gift is, the daughter gets to find out what her divine gift is, and then they get to talk to each other, and so it's about building these mothers and daughters up.

Speaker 2: 21:07

Another thing we talk about is how to avoid burnout, and that's honoring your values. So we help mother and daughter walk through the three things that they value most, those I call them energy generators. They're continuously regenerating your energy. And then we facilitate a conversation between mother and daughter where we give them almost like this safe word, where it's like I need to do a values check in, where it's just like a neutral way to just jump into the conversation. Where it's like mom, my calendar, I've got this and this and this and this. I don't really love this.

Speaker 2: 21:48

You know, sometimes I think we need those, those uh tough conversations in order to make sure that everybody's is being served and serving their soul doing things that are um, so that, and we do typically, what we do is an activity and then we teach a principle, a framework, and then inspire behavior in 20 minutes or onto the next. So it's very fast moving, fast paced to keep these girls focused and lots of Attentive. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 22:21

Oh, it sounds so beautiful. Where can people learn more? Buy tickets, figure out where they need to fly to, where they need to book a hotel, all the things, where do they need to go?

Speaker 2: 22:32

Yes, so they need to go to Tracy Petersoncom, and it's Tracy with an I and Peterson with an O N. And I have a special code for your listeners too.

Speaker 1: 22:44

We love special codes. Okay, special code, here we go. It's 10% off and it's BBG 10. Okay, do you guys hear that it's 10% off, which is amazing, right? We women love our discounts.

Speaker 1: 22:59

Yes, we do, and it's BBG 10. That's boy, boy, girl 10. And, of course, you guys, as always, we will make sure this stuff is in the show notes. The links will be easily accessible. But it's such a beautiful concept, tracy, and I think, um, I'm so excited. Pray God's blessing over your heart, your home, your relationship with your amazing daughters, but also over all of the women and the girls coming to this event, that there would just be such a sense of renewal and connection, um, yeah, and that God would just be very present in this generation. Really, yes, beautiful, yes.

Speaker 2: 23:40

And and, to your point, thank you for that and I will. I will take all the blessings that I can get. What is really cool is when because we do mother daughter date nights once a quarter as well, locally, locally here in Utah.

Speaker 2: 23:54

And the coolest thing to your point, yes, it's regenerating, but I'm also seeing a generation change right before my eyes because I don't, I unsubscribe and I don't buy in to like oh, like, get ready for girl problems, or you know, girls are catty and all of this stuff. I mean, I feel like most girls have had, or most women have had, those experiences. I had one when I was 14 years old where I walked up to a group of girls, you know, and they were saying really mean things about me. They didn't realize that I was there and that that that I was listening in and it just it hurts you to the core. And I remember, you know, I just remember going and and promising myself in that moment like I never want another girl to feel the same way again.

Speaker 2: 24:50

Or when I went to high school and my car got spray painted and my shoes got stolen, I was like, oh my gosh, is my daughter destined to have girl problems like this? I just don't believe that that is the way that it needs to be. And it really starts with us, as mothers, making sure and being mindful of how we're speaking about other women and being very careful to stay out of that comparison spiral that's so easy, especially with social media and just how we talk to people, cause I think it's it's it's so easy to criticize other people and typically when people are criticizing it's it's so easy to criticize other people and typically when people are criticizing other people, it's because they're criticizing themselves.

Speaker 1: 25:41

Absolutely, what comes out of our mouth is a reflection of our heart. And, to your point, the beauty of, as mothers, being able to attend an event like this is it's really a self-evaluation of how do I speak to myself, how do I see myself, because that's ultimately going to be reflective, no matter how hard I try to do it differently. Until we are able to show compassion to ourselves, we will never be able to show compassion to others, including our daughters, no matter how well-meaning we are.

Speaker 2: 26:13

So it's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1: 26:15

It's growing ourselves as well as growing that relationship with our children. So you guys, you need to check it out. Tracy Petersoncom.

Speaker 2: 26:28

Yes, yes, and it's so cool. We did this really amazing activity it's called Angel Whispers at one of our events where we do just kind of this very simple meditation where both daughters and mothers go back to a time when they felt the most confident, the most sure of themselves, the most joyful, and typically that's right between the ages of you know six, seven, eight, maybe nine. Mine involves like running through the sprinklers with my of you know six, seven, eight, maybe nine. Mine involves like running through the sprinklers with my friends. You know, you're just carefree.

Speaker 2: 27:00

You never once like are living in your head thinking about how do I look in the swimming suit or what's jiggling as I'm running down and sliding on this slip and slide. You know, you're just like, fully present in the moment. And what is cool is we have them connect with that younger version of themselves and and that younger version of yourself has a message to give you. And my younger self said you are enough just the way you are like. You're enough just the way you are. And then we did this angel whispers where we had everybody stand in a circle and we had the daughter stand in the middle and each person would go up and whisper in their ear the lesson or the learning that they wanted to share.

Speaker 2: 27:50

And these girls, these these 10, 11, 12 year old girls were just sobbing girls. These these 10, 11, 12 year old girls were just sobbing and I had this little girl run up to me at the end and she's just like Tracy. That is the most that I felt the spirit in my entire life, and I was watching a generation change right before my eyes, where you saw little girl supporting little girl hugging and loving and lifting up and pouring that lesson in that learning and just the big takeaways and then having other high-performing moms pour into your child.

Speaker 2: 28:30

it's that idea that you can see the village and that your community counts. It was one of the most inspiring things that I've ever been a part of and that's the type of feeling and generational shifting and sort of leveling up that everybody will experience when they come, when they decide to not only invest. It's sort of like what is your daughter's self-worth worth? It's like it's worth everything, like everything. So I think it's so important to put ourselves in situations where we're investing in that connection, that mother-daughter connection, because truly the science doesn't lie that it determines positive outcomes in their life the connectedness of their relationships, their ability to avoid depression and anxiety, marital dissatisfaction, right, it's like all of these things can come back to that mother-daughter relationship can come back to that mother-daughter relationship.

Speaker 1: 29:43

Yeah, it's beautiful. Tracypetersoncom, you get 10% off with the code BBG10. And, tracy, it was such an honor to have you here. I can't wait to hear the feedback some way somehow, and the amazing stories of life change at this event. Thank you for facilitating it.

Speaker 2: 29:58

Oh, you're amazing. Thank you for all the good work that you're doing helping.