ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
Ever felt like your own worst enemy, with self-doubt whispering in your ear? Davidson Hang, the trailblazer behind the Daring Hearts Mentorship Program, joins us to dismantle that inner critic and pave the way for living boldly. Growing up sans privilege and as an Asian American, Davidson's battles have equipped him with the empathy and strategies essential for mentoring others toward unwavering self-belief. His narrative isn't just about personal triumph; it's a call to recognize and break free from the generational behavior patterns that often go unchallenged, particularly in the context of masculinity and cultural identity.
JUMP RIGHT TO IT:
0:00 Meet Davidson Hang
15:30 Conquering Self-Criticism for Bold Impact
27:35 4 Steps To Conquering Self-Criticism
37:13 Daring Hearts Virtual Community
CONNECT WITH DAVIDSON:
Instagram: @davidsonhangofficial
Facebook: DavidsonHang
Website: www.davidsonhang.com
Book Mentioned during Would You Rather game: 438 Days: An Extraordinary True Story of Survival at Sea by Jonothan Franklin
Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com
Contact The Show!
Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahnafulmer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ahnadfulmer
ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
Ever felt like your own worst enemy, with self-doubt whispering in your ear? Davidson Hang, the trailblazer behind the Daring Hearts Mentorship Program, joins us to dismantle that inner critic and pave the way for living boldly. Growing up sans privilege and as an Asian American, Davidson's battles have equipped him with the empathy and strategies essential for mentoring others toward unwavering self-belief. His narrative isn't just about personal triumph; it's a call to recognize and break free from the generational behavior patterns that often go unchallenged, particularly in the context of masculinity and cultural identity.
JUMP RIGHT TO IT:
0:00 Meet Davidson Hang
15:30 Conquering Self-Criticism for Bold Impact
27:35 4 Steps To Conquering Self-Criticism
37:13 Daring Hearts Virtual Community
CONNECT WITH DAVIDSON:
Instagram: @davidsonhangofficial
Facebook: DavidsonHang
Website: www.davidsonhang.com
Book Mentioned during Would You Rather game: 438 Days: An Extraordinary True Story of Survival at Sea by Jonothan Franklin
Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com
Contact The Show!
Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahnafulmer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ahnadfulmer
Hello and welcome back to the Imperfectly Empowered Podcast. I am your host, anna Fulmer. Today we have Davidson Hong on the show. Davidson is the founder and owner of the Daring Hearts Mentorship Program, where he helps men and women conquer self-criticism and create bold impact. Having grown up without a silver spoon, davidson's pursuit of personal growth and leadership wasn't born out of privilege but out of necessity. Whether writing his fourth book, trekking the Great Outdoors, or sharing inspiration on his YouTube channel with an audience of 700,000, davidson isn't just living life. He is devouring it, one adventure at a time, here to share his expert advice on conquering self-criticism to craft a life of bold impact. Welcome, davidson. Davidson, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you for having me. Your website, your social media, everything looks amazing, so just want to commend you on the intentionality and the design and, yeah, just excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. David and I were just lamenting over the rain. He lives in jersey. We're in pennsylvania. It's been raining for days. Our roads are flooded. Oh, it's one of those days. So here we are. We're mutually. This is like going to be a little chat beside a fire with hot chocolate, even though I don't have the fire or the hot chocolate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm excited to do this with you.
Speaker 1:I do have a blanket. You have such a fun brand. I love what you do. There's so many elements to it that are really fun. The label Daring Hearts just in general, speaks to my Enneagram 8. That challenger in me.
Speaker 1:I'm like Daring Hearts what a great title, but we'll press rewind a little bit. You talk about how you even got to this point in your own life and in your own career of embracing this concept of trying to conquer self-criticism in order to create bold impact. Is that's kind of like the tagline that I see over your brand and your passion? Talk to me a little bit about how you arrived at this passion. You've mentioned that you grew up poor and also faced the struggles of growing up as a minority, as an Asian American, which clearly, as you can see here, not a very white, very European, you know, and so that's something I just can't understand. So I would love to hear, kind of how you're growing up, shaped, who?
Speaker 2:you are today and how that fuels your passion who you are today and how that fuels your passion. Yeah, it's, it's, it's it. I mean, I'm a male, obviously, right, so that that's all. It comes with its own, um sure you know.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, a lot of different layers. I think a lot of asian americans like in, like in america, right, we're kind of like in between these two worlds where I'm not asian enough for, like the age, true Asians, because, like I've never even been to Asia, like right, so it's like I don't fit in with, like the Asians that are like you know, when they speak another language, right, because I'm super Americanized but I'm technically like not American in the sense that when people see me they're like hey, like your English is really good, or like where are you from? And I'm like, oh, I was born in Jersey. They're like no, like where are you from? It's like yeah, like oh, I was born in Jersey. They're like no, like where are you from? I was like, yeah, I live in, I lived in California for like five years. It's like no, no. And then I'm like, oh, you're asking like where my parents are from.
Speaker 1:Oh, like my ethnicity yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So it's always like an interesting dynamic, but I think I think there's been a lot of progress actually in terms of because I think, growing up, you know when you're on TV or you're watching any movie, like the Asian guy never gets the girl Right, it's usually they're the ones are getting bullied and picked on and, yeah, it's not usually not a good. Look on us, right. So you grow up with a lot of these insecurities and then nowadays, like because there's like a lot more representation, I'm like well, like there are movies where, like the Asian males actually it's usually the opposite, it's usually like the white male lead gets like the Asian female right, and then so there's a lot of complexities there, but I do think there's a lot more representation.
Speaker 2:But I think that did lead to a lot of insecurities and, you know, a lot of my most of my clients are Asian men, right, and that's something that they've struggled with as well. So it's interesting like, and then, you know, when I went to college, I was a part of an Asian fraternity and then it was like, and then that's like a completely opposite, like hyper masculine environment where it was just about like, oh, how many girls can we pick up at the club? And then so I was thrown into that world. I'm like whoa, like this is crazy. So it's. It's a bit of a complex, um, but yeah, very unique, uh circumstance, I guess.
Speaker 1:And it's one that there's. You know you're Asian American, but the reality is there's a lot of other minorities, um, who can can understand that and speak to that feeling of like I belong, but I don't belong, even just from an ethnic standpoint. And you know, I, I know the question that you're getting, and so we're adopting a little boy from the Pacific Island of Samoa, and this is something that I have had to learn over the last five years because of this very thing. Again, very white, very European American.
Speaker 1:So I don't, I don't have this from an experience standpoint, but understanding, like what is it that somebody is really asking? Right, because some of us don't even understand the question we're trying to ask, and I had a great podcast guest kind of helped me understand the difference between your nationality versus your ethnicity, versus your race, right, like you're white, like by race, like you know the color of your skin from a medical standpoint would be considered white, but your nationality is American, because that's your citizenship, but your ethnicity is Asian, slash Asian American. And it was so helpful for me to understand, because it's just putting words and language to what feels very complex and we can't quite say so, you know, for those of you wondering, like I know what Davidson saying, like this is what I've also wondered sometimes how do I ask this? What you're asking about is someone's ethnicity.
Speaker 2:Like what's your ethnicity. Yeah, oh I'm, I'm Vietnamese. I always say, I'm Vietnamese American.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, yeah, so anyway that it's. It's so insightful now in terms of growing up, or both of your parents, vietnamese, or as one, what's your?
Speaker 2:ethnic history. It's, it's. It's interesting, right, all of my Vietnameseietnamese well, I can't say all, because that's very hyperbolic, but many of my vietnamese friends also grew up like without a father and and I think it's different times right, like a lot of trauma from the war. So you know, growing up, um, a lot of us were abused, right, whether it's emotional or physical, like that was just the norm. So I, I thought, and then we, a lot of asians, we joke about it. We're like, oh yeah, like that's normal, like that's how they show love, right, like by beating you. But then, growing up, you're kind of like, huh, is this normal? But there's consequences to that, right, um, so so it's just interesting, like I, I do think that, um, and, and many of my vietnamese friends that didn't have a father, they're actually very, very successful now because they always feel like they have like a chip on, like I also feel like I have a chip on my shoulders, like all right, well, let me just prove to everyone that I can make it, despite the circumstances.
Speaker 2:But I think some of it was channeled in the wrong way and now I'm like okay, like, instead of looking for the external validation, like let me explore within and see what I want, versus, like me, trying to prove to others. Like you know, someone who grew up poor can make it right. So now I have a better relationship and I do it because I want to and not because like oh, I need to, like prove myself, or or something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so, so it's so insightful what you're saying. Do you see this in other um cultures within america, like subcultures? Because what you're describing I feel like I have heard other you know ethnicities talk about sort of a, a ethnic trauma in a sense. Not that we can generalize to everybody, but in your conversations with people have you made any correlations, do you feel like there's bonding with other minorities, other ethnicities and certainly there are two, let me also throw this out here there are certainly European white men and women who can also very much relate to what you're saying, like what you're feeling. I will also acknowledge the emotions that you're describing. However, there is a unique element then when you add that ethnic minority. So I'm just curious in your experience, have you kind of made these connections with anyone else?
Speaker 2:This is such a weird thing to say because it sounds like you have a pretty big podcast this way but so I would say and this is a lot of this is processing, this took a lot of therapy, a lot of, yes, self-development. So I'll just be honest, honestly, like and I'm sure I'm not the only person that does this, but I think I made like the straight white man, middle-aged white man, like the enemy for pretty much my whole life, right, and but then I didn't even realize like a lot of it was unconscious, because I was so I was a part of so many of these ethnic groups you know, being a leader for some of them and just hosting all these events that it was you here and you're like man. And then I realized like okay, well, that's not really gonna if that's like us versus them mentality, which is not really gonna help the situation, right?
Speaker 2:so, to answer your question, yes, like any minority, for whatever reason, unconsciously I would just gravitate towards them and we, just we would just connect like right off the bat, right. But then now I realize, like reflecting on my journey, I'm like actually there were a lot of like the enemy, like white men who were like amazing mentors, who really have helped me, who really, like you know, believed in me. And now, now I have a much better, more empowering context, but I would say for the most of my life I was like they're evil and we're good, right, it was like not a healthy way to live life, you know.
Speaker 1:And and to validate this. Not that you need it, but I have heard that before and I can understand how it can happen. Um, whether it be through media et cetera, like, again, it's the white guy that gets the girl, it's the white guy that becomes president. It's the like I totally can see how the subconscious narrative is there. I guess the follow up question then obviously I'm not a male, but you know, for people listening, hindsight Vision being 2020, what would be your encouragement, advice, support for the white man, for the white woman, to help maybe alleviate that? Earlier and again, we can only control our own behavior. So we realize, like we can't control someone else's behavior. But you know, do you have any thoughts to how you know we can help bridge that journey or at least help speed it up so that we are behaving in a way that is not contributing to that narrative?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think curiosity as a way of being, like what you're doing right now, like it's very evident that you're you just want to know, and like you just want it, like how can I contribute? I mean, I think some of it is like self-learning, right. I think it's like reading the books, like I've read a ton of, you know, malcolm x, like all these, all these biographies, right, um, you know a lot of these. Some of these books are very confronting. So I do think, do it in moderation, because I think, yeah, we, we overdo it. Then it can be a lot to be with um, but but I, I think, um, yeah, I mean, I, I typically try to reach out when I hear something, you know, whether it's like blm or just anything, right, it's like I reach out and you know, with my jewish friends, I'll reach out and see like hey, like what's going on? Like you know I'm here for you. Do you want to talk about it? And then so, and I try to do it from genuine curiosity, right, like, try to be objective, even though that's like almost impossible and people usually appreciate that. Like, thanks, davidson, you know, like it was nice just to have someone listen. You know, I mean, I'm not perfect by any means, right, but I do try to in my spare time, whether it's like reading books or watching documentaries, and and it's it's.
Speaker 2:I'm a very emotional person, so I cry a lot when I when I do read this, you know, and and yeah, and just like the struggles that women have to deal with, right, and all these different things. But at the end of the day, I think we all, like people, have good intentions, right. I think it's how we perceive it as well, right, because sometimes I'll receive things that's like a microaggression but it's like okay, well, I didn't do anything to correct them or I didn't, you know, and sometimes it is confronting when I'm like, hey, like what you said, like that was kind of messed up, like that actually didn't really land well with me. You know, it's like, and you just have a conversation and sometimes, like a lot of my white friends have blocked me and like you know, because I'm probably the only person that's been like, hey, dude, like you know, I've just been processing this during therapy.
Speaker 2:But you know, like, working with, like that, a lot of the racist jokes you guys made when we worked together, like actually like it was pretty traumatizing, you know. But then afterwards then they get all defensive and then, like, they end up blocking me. But it's like, hey, even if I planted that seed of like hey, maybe I should kind of think twice before. Um, you know, maybe it had an impact, maybe it didn't, but at least I was able to set those boundaries, you know yeah, I appreciate that insight.
Speaker 1:I'm hearing those boundaries, you know. Yeah, I appreciate that insight. I'm hearing that.
Speaker 1:The concept of curiosity, and I you know, as I have said before, I think it's the art of asking better questions in general as humanity. Um, instead of assuming things, we just need to get better at asking questions, and that does not necessarily mean that we agree on the answer. This is where people miss the boat. I guarantee there are things that you and I would probably fundamentally disagree on right, but that shouldn't prevent us from being able to have open dialogue and discussion, because we're still human, made in the image of God, worthy of loving and being loved in return, and that puts us on the same playing field period, end of story. And so we can still hear each other's perspectives in a way that is loving and intentional and with a heart of genuine desire to see the other person succeed in life. So I love that. Be curious. I will throw in the concept of how to practically live that out is ask better questions, ask more questions, don't make assumptions. So insightful. I love that.
Speaker 1:And then one of the things that you said is moving forward through your life, that it wasn't just a career ladder. Pursuit for you, pursuit for you. It was kind of out of necessity, as you've kind of alluded, to Tell us specifically, from a career standpoint, what you're doing and how you're helping people. Because then what I would really like to dive into is steps to overcoming that self-criticism that you have not only done in your own life but how you've helped other people. But initially, just tell us where you are now, how you're serving people.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think this the seed that was planted. I was very lucky to work at LinkedIn, which is a hate to use the word woke woke like organization, but linkedin really just tries to actively create a environment of like self-discovery and a lot of like the d and I and you know a lot of diverse. So even with me, like just being in spaces with white women I was like, oh wow, like that's. If now I can relate because it feels what they're describing, feels exactly what I feel like when I'm usually like the only asian person and you know, out of all the sales teams. Or you know, when people just assume I'm the IT guy, you know, or something like that. Right, so I'm like huh.
Speaker 1:Or that you play the piano really well. Yeah, I just had someone who's Asian say that and I was like hi, I've never actively thought about that, but I can see what you're saying.
Speaker 2:But so that that that safe space of being at linkedin and and just like that environment where everyone is is more open and there's just a ton of diversity there, um, across the board. Um, that was when I published redefining masculinity, which, uh, the purpose of that book, uh, why I published that was because I I felt like men didn't have a safe space where we can process and cry and just be vulnerable and just share a lot of these different experiences and challenges that we have as men and trying to act strong and be. You know. So, lewis Howe's Mask of Masculinity, I think, was like a big inspiration for me to go on this journey.
Speaker 2:Masculinity, I think was like a big inspiration for me to go on this journey. And then I do think, like just seeing with my dad and how his dad beat him and why my dad beat me, it was like, oh, okay, like that's just a cycle, right. So it's like, okay, how can I, how can I break the cycle? How can I foster and have spaces where so, with my men's group, like having men, like talk about you know what it was like to lose their parent, or you know thoughts of suicide and depression to just create these spaces and all of that created helped me be able to see huh like this is a lot more rewarding than the boatloads of money I would have made if I just continued on the path of like tech sales.
Speaker 2:But I'm like, let me leave that all behind and decide to do something that's more passion and more mission driven, so that that's a long way of saying like all those, all these instances help me be able to see like okay, I'm on the right path.
Speaker 1:I love that. Um, we're going to dive in really, uh, shortly, to your expert advice on conquering self-criticism, creating bold impact, your daring hearts. Community is so cool, but first we're going to play a round of would you rather? Davidson didn't know we were doing this, he's ready for it, he's he's game.
Speaker 2:Let's do it.
Speaker 1:Let's do it. He says Okay, would you rather be a ninja or a pirate?
Speaker 2:a pirate oh, pirate.
Speaker 1:Most people say ninja where. Why a pirate?
Speaker 2:the, the thought of just traveling to so many different countries and just like that it sounds like a adventurous wandering villages.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding, just kidding I, um, I do, I. I always say like I want to be a ninja on a pirate ship oh best of best of both worlds.
Speaker 1:I was literally just thinking this the other day, I forget I saw a picture of like an old world wooden boat and I had the thought, like what's wild to me is, once upon a time, when we think ship, we think like cruise ship, right with all the lights, and but this is like total off the subject. Welcome to the podcast. Um, but like once upon a time for years and years, when you were on a ship, like it must have been so dark and quiet and creepy you know what I mean Like you're out in the middle of the ocean and you don't have like electronic lights that you can just flip on and then a massive storm.
Speaker 1:How do you even keep your lamps Like it just hit me like man man, how we just have no idea it reminds me of I read this book.
Speaker 2:Did you hear about? There was a guy who was a fisherman, who was like on a like a super small boat where his his like motor died. So he was floating across the pacific for like 500?
Speaker 1:palpitations just thinking about it.
Speaker 2:Yes, five hundred plus days. And when he finally saw humans again, he like didn't know how to react. Like he, he was just like yeah.
Speaker 1:How did he eat?
Speaker 2:This is so. This is the craziest story. So he would wait till the like seagulls and the birds land, like, so he would have to be like sneaky about it, right Cause, like if they know that he's super still about to get eaten. And then, as soon as they were cause they would just swarm around him. And then, as soon as, like they got tired and they needed to rest, as soon as they got on the boat, he had to like sneak in and grab them and then, and then, uh, he would just lay them out to like dry so that you know because, like, or else it'd be like super raw, right, but then the sun was so strong that it kind of cooked like some of some of those birds yeah, that's outrageous.
Speaker 1:Is there a name to this book? Is there a title to it?
Speaker 2:uh, let me see six, three something days and see I'll look it up.
Speaker 1:It's yeah, he's gonna look it up.
Speaker 2:You guys I know some of you already- like wait, I want to read that book 438 days, an extraordinary true story of survival at sea and who's the author uh, so this is because it's. This is in another language, but then he, okay, jonathan franklin was the guy who translated it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, jonathan Franklin and my editor just make a note. We'll make sure that's included in the show notes. So fascinating. Well, he still wants to be a pirate, just maybe not lost at sea for 400 plus days. You are allowed to change your answer, okay. Would you rather winter or summer?
Speaker 2:I I personally like summer better same.
Speaker 1:That is the definitive answer. People, you weirdos who like winter oh my gosh, I'm like looking at the rain. I'm cold. Right now I have a blanket on me. I'm like when is summer? Would you rather a pancake or a waffle? I like waffle you like waffle, do you have a certain way that you eat? Some people are real passionate about waffles, like they grew up eating them a certain way and this is nostalgic and you can't make it any other way. I didn't know this was a thing. Apparently it's a thing.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that was a thing Apparently it's a thing I didn't know that I just like it extra crispy, like I like the texture because it's so crispy, like I like my wife and I love texture. That's what we realized. Like everything she eats, she doesn't necessarily eat for flavor, she eats for texture and I'm like huh.
Speaker 1:Fascinating. Oh so she could just go out and eat leaves from from the tree. I mean, in that case I yes, she's probably very easy to please.
Speaker 2:Then I'm not so easy to please it's funny I we had this conversation like she's the least low, she's the most low maintenance when it comes to food like she's happy with, like McDonald's and or Taco Bell, and I'm like this is crazy. You're the only person I know that doesn't like fine dining.
Speaker 1:I mean it's texture. She doesn't care. That's hilarious. What's her name?
Speaker 2:Samantha.
Speaker 1:Samantha, samantha, listen, we should be friends. You should teach me your ways so I'm less picky in life. Okay, last question, although you may have already somewhat answered this would you rather a personal jet or a private yacht?
Speaker 2:oh so, dude, this is hard, we've already picked the pirate ship. Yeah, but oh man dude, this is already picked. The pirate ship, yeah, but oh man dude, this is hard. I, yeah, I would choose a yacht. You're right, I would choose a yacht yeah, yeah, he's going somewhere warm.
Speaker 1:Where are you and samantha going on your yacht?
Speaker 2:you're docking and you're not leaving because you like summer too yeah, we, she, I think we like the asian, we like the Asian countries, you know, okay, where would you go?
Speaker 1:I am not familiar about like where I would even go if I had a yacht and I wanted to go to an Asian country. Where's a good place to go?
Speaker 2:I think Korea and Japan would be the first stop. First two stops.
Speaker 1:Is there any one place specifically there that you would want to go?
Speaker 2:That's tough. If I could choose one, I would say what's that place that has like really good milk?
Speaker 1:it's known for good milk in japan you know what I'm talking about no, I didn't know that there was like really good milk, what is really good milk?
Speaker 2:like their cows are extra special, or yeah, you know how like they're, like japan's known for, like they like massage, their like the cows and like super tender what's that called the Kobe?
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, the Wagyu. I did know that. Yes, wagyu, it's a similar concept.
Speaker 2:There's a place where, like they just treat their cows like really, really well, like they love them, they care for them.
Speaker 1:They get massages as well. Yeah, man been, I should be a cow in japan, apparently. That is so interesting, I have to look it up which place. That's good, okay, because now it's gonna bother me, I don't remember yeah, once I say you'll know oh, hakaido okay I did not know that the why the waigu. I did know that the Wagyu steak.
Speaker 2:So this is why it's good. The region has a cool climate and wide pastures With fresh air, because it's a stress-free environment. So they just are able to live healthier lives, because, you know, in America we just cram them in a little thing.
Speaker 1:I was going to say forget the cows, I'm going to go to Japan and live in the pasture. It sounds great, I might produce better too, if I'm living in that environment in general.
Speaker 2:Touche.
Speaker 1:That's so funny. You know, I do actually need a Wagyu steak. That's on my bucket list. I can never justify the price, but I love steak.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's expensive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it really is. Well, now that we've settled all the important things in this piece in your Daring Hearts community, you can talk to us a little bit about that. But one of the things that you talk about you address I mentioned in my intro that you have this massive YouTube channel and clearly something that you are communicating is resonating with people. You're meeting people where they are and kind of creating this idea of this daring hearts type of living, living with bold impact. But in order to do that, you do have to overcome this sense of self-criticism. What you said was a life kind of focused on finding external validation, which many of us do, whether we realize it or not, regardless of how traumatic or not our upbringing was. So I think we all struggle with this to some degree. But just talk to us a little bit about practical steps to start overcoming self-criticism, because until we are doing that, this concept of living life with bold impact is only ever going to be a dream not a reality.
Speaker 1:So talk to me about self-criticism.
Speaker 2:So this is an interesting exercise that I'm sure not many people do, but I assert that we're not the best examples of what we're really good at, because we take it for granted, right. So there's certain things that you're really good at, every person's really good at, so we're so good at, because we, we take it for granted, right. So there's certain things that you're really good at, every person's really good at, so it's it's we're so good at it. It's like almost like unconscious at this point, right? So if you go up to 30 different like the first 30 people that come to mind could be a mixture of friends, family, coworkers and just ask them like hey, like, what are my strengths and weaknesses?
Speaker 2:And, um, it's interesting because a lot of people will say things that you wouldn't expect, right, because it's just like things that you're just that you do, and we're usually a lot harder on ourselves than what other people, like the 30 closest people to you, would say about you. So, um, and you can even ask like, hey, when I walk into your room, what do I bring with me? And people will share your aura, which I think a lot of that, you know. It's really nice to hear, and that exercise always wows everyone because people are like.
Speaker 2:Sometimes people cry because they're just like yeah, like you know, my best friend said like the nicest thing about me, and I've never heard anyone like speak about me that way, you know, and that's. That's been really interesting to see people Cause I'll, I'll do it. Uh, when I'm on the phone with them, I'll, I'll. Or when I'm next to them, I'll be like okay, call 10 people right now and I'll just sit while they do that exercise. And I'm always like man, this, this, it never gets old. You know what people say about, about each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that one, and you know what you just communicated and tell me if I'm saying this wrong no-transcript and what we are actually really good at, because it is so close to us and so second nature. We don't even appreciate that it is something that we're good at and, ironically, what we think we're good at might actually not be what other people are seeing as clearly, because we have probably intentionally grown at that thing, probably intentionally grown at that thing, and so we see the growth, and maybe other people do. But it's not actually our superpower. That comes very naturally, that we've been given, and so I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that exercise. That's such a good one, that's such a good one. So you do that. You talk to somebody, ask them what are my strengths, what are my weaknesses? Be willing to hear it and receive it, and then what do you do with it? So you're told that, but right, it's only true if you believe it to be true in your own life. It's true regardless of you, but it's not going to make a difference in your life unless you believe it to be true.
Speaker 2:Right, that's a fair point. Um, this and then the. So the second portion of this exercise and this could be confronting for a lot of people as well but it, but we're doing it, we're projecting it, unconsciously anyways, right, so this is just like the conscious step in doing this, which is, uh, we write down 15 things that make us sad and 15 things that make us angry, and just the act of writing it out it's like oh yeah, and then we name it, and then this is where we bring levity and play to it, where we kind of like make fun. So we call it something that's three words for it. That's usually well, three sayings that are usually two words that are like oxymoronic. And I call this like the survival mechanism. So mine are called judgmental guru, big hero, no, and optimistic orphan. So this is when I'm in my survival right, when I'm triggered, when I'm reacting. So we all have some version of that right. So my judgmental guru means that when I'm like triggered, I I think I'm like everyone's guru, so it's like I think I know better, right, but then no one wants to be told what to do, right, they want to discover it for themselves. So it's not, it's not the optimum place to come from.
Speaker 2:The the optimistic orphan is like I. I use optimism as a way of not being able to be with the sadness and the anger and the reality which is sometimes the pain and hurt in society. But I use optimism almost as like a. It's like oh, everything will be okay. But I think sometimes it is helpful to like, be with it and process it.
Speaker 2:You know, and the orphan is just like how I perceive myself as an orphan.
Speaker 2:But in reality, you know, I have like 18,000 LinkedIn connections, I'm going to networking events every day, but I just view myself as like, alone and as an orphan. So it's, it's just not the reality, right, but that's just what I'm triggered. And then the last one big hero, no, it was like I feel like and a lot of men do this it's like we try to save everyone, right, but it's like people are fully capable of helping themselves, like they don't need anyone to save them, you know, so that's that's once you go through that exercise, like it's probably the most eyeopening thing and when, and in the levity portion is like hey, oh, like I'm being, I'm being the orphan again, you know, so it's kind of like just having that self-awareness and just pausing and um and then calling it out so that it's not consuming us or controlling us unconsciously and so what you're, what you said, is you write down 15 things that make you sad and then 15 things that make you happy oh, angry, angry oh, angry, sorry, not happy.
Speaker 1:Um, so okay, that make you sad and angry. And then you're those, those statements based on those two lists.
Speaker 2:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1:So you're taking one from sad and one from angry, and you're combining them.
Speaker 2:So you look for common themes, right, because we it might. People might say, like, when I've done, I've done this exercise many times. So some people would be like you know human trafficking or domestic violence, like you know child abuse, or you know when people make fun of, like the LGBT, like. So everyone kind of writes out all of their stuff, right, stuff that like triggers them. But you'll notice that there's like three common themes amongst like all of them usually, so that's when the naming part comes, comes in.
Speaker 2:So for me, like, if I was to do it like you know, we talked a lot about racism, right? So a lot of my stuff was around, around like social injustice and you know, like human trafficking, just like a lot of things that make me sad. So, um, and then, and then I remember when I first did this exercise, it was around how, like I was sad that people make excuses and they don't live up to their full potential, right. But then when I, when I make it about others, I'm actually projecting my own insecurities, right, it's what I'm, what I can't be with within myself that are just reflected from others, right? So once you go through the exercise and you look at you take, you know it probably takes like an hour to an hour to an hour and a half to like really do it right. Right, because it's like you know we're writing things that are really confronting.
Speaker 2:But once we name it, um, and then the next practice is like, for well, for the next week, like just notice and just make a tally, like maybe, if you have like a little post-it in your pocket every time we're being any of those, write down the three survival mechanism and just make a note, make a note and then by the end of the week you'll be like wow, I was in survival mechanism like 21 times.
Speaker 2:Like that I was actually conscious of. But then it just helps us realize, like, and then we can choose survival mechanism or we can choose essence. Which essence is the exercise where you go up to your 10 closest friends and you ask them um, when I walk into a room, what do I bring with me? And then you know people will say like positivity, optimism, like good energy, good vibes, and then you write all that down and then you come up with um, you look for themes and you come up with like five essence words. So I can choose to come from brilliance, partnership, optimism, heart, um, or I can choose from survival mechanism. Right, it's like every moment I get to choose. So that's like a simple exercise, but it really helps us like shift from fight, flight or freeze into more of our essence.
Speaker 1:I love that and I can see how, in doing so, you're almost reprogramming your brain to, instead of focus on all of the negatives that you feel are lacking, that self-criticism to an abundance mentality is really what you're doing. It's like you're flipping the script on the way that you're thinking about yourself, and I also like that you're partnering with the people around you. I think that's a key piece that a lot of even, I would say, coaches or transformational coaches miss is needing to bring in the perspective of others as well. It's like that community element where we don't do life alone. We shouldn't be doing life alone and there's a lot of value in hearing the people who know you and love you and are in your corner to be clear, not you know Joe Schmo on the street but to hear, like, how they perceive you, and I think that's really beautiful.
Speaker 1:I like that. That's part of what you're having people do. So that was lovely and, for those of you listening and watching, if you need to pause, I encourage you to rewind and take notes on what he just said because, if you missed it, that was, like, I think, a three step, three or four step, um, very, very practical way of helping overcome self-criticism. That you can do tomorrow, you can do next week in your own life. Um, talk to us a little bit about the daring hearts community. So you know, you, you. This is just a small bit of what you do within your community, but tell us more about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I, I started this, this community, because I I nerd out. I mean, it sounds like you're super into self-development as well. So I said yes to every like mastermind, every coach, and I mean at this point I've worked with over like 15 coaches, so I've spent over $150,000 in eight years, right?
Speaker 2:So I'm not that crazy, but I mean that still probably sounds like a lot to most people, right? And all these like coaching, certifications, like getting the eqi and going all the tony robbins, like going to fiji, you know all these different modalities and I was like all right, I think like each of these programs are good in certain aspects, but I'm like let me like try to solve for what I perceive I didn't get right, which is more of like the long term, like a year long, because the Tony Robbins thing is good, like you're pumped for those five or four or three days, depending on which programs you do. But what about the other three? What about the other 300 and something days, right?
Speaker 2:So that's why I decided to to create uh, daring Hearts and, um, and, and I think what, what's you know to your point, like when I asked the 30 people, like hey, what I do? Really well, everyone's like you just like take action and you're like not afraid to be vulnerable and just put yourself out there. So I'm like that's my gift to the world, like I'm going to show people to be more vulnerable and not be afraid of just putting themselves out there.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so what does the daring hearts community do? So if somebody was was signing up, like on your website at davidsonhungcom H-A-N-Gcom, what does that client experience look like? What is somebody signing up for?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So on this journey I've met like incredible people like yourself, right. So there's like a big component of mentorship, because I do think so. There's a lot of guest speakers, so there's going to be 26 guest speakers that I that are a panel discussion event where they'll teach like a framework, like a practical framework, like similar to the one I teach today. So each of them have their own framework that you can apply to life and, you know, you could pick and choose depending on where you're at, right and um.
Speaker 2:All the topics are around like passion, fulfillment, ikigai, like. So it's all like self-development related topics, um, but it's going to be a lot more holistic, because when I went to all these different programs, like, I felt like some were good for, like, mindset and then some were good for just physical health, some were good for nutrition, some were good for meditation, but I didn't see any program that was like super holistic, that encompassed like a little bit of everything, right? So so that's why I'm like this would be great, cause you're you're exposed to everything and then you can pick and choose, like I'm sure you're not going to practice every meditation, everything, but at least now you know you, you learned it and you could use it whenever it serves you so it's a community, it's a virtual community and you have these opportunities to take these um courses.
Speaker 1:Is that what it is? Or like, how do you pay monthly or how do you get involved?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah it's, it's a monthly subscription and, uh, so you'll get. Well, there's different tiers, but the most common tiers you get one. It's a weekly call for an hour and then every other week you'll speak to the panels and you can have Q&A, you can ask them questions. So that's like the mentorship piece. The other weeks we'll be going through some of the frameworks that I mentioned. Like that was an example of one of the frameworks, and then all of these are. There's a component of e-learning as well, so they'll have all these modules online. So maybe eight months later they're like hey, I know we learned this week five, but I kind of forgot. You can go back and download the exercises and do it. Do it at your own pace as well. If, because sometimes you're like, oh, I learned this but I haven't practiced it as much, let me go back and just you know, do it.
Speaker 1:Or there's like a season maybe you're especially struggling with self-criticism in three months, but not right now, and so you go back and need to do that exercise. Yeah, who does um this daring hearts program? Who does it best serve? Who's like the best person to benefit from? I mean, obviously we could all learn from these things, but who? Especially, are you kind of attracting the person that's here but wants to be here?
Speaker 2:It's I call it like humble high achievers, so people who like on the outside, like they look very successful, they have all the awards, employee of the month, they're getting promoted, they're making good money, but still feels like something is like missing, like there's got to be more to life, like it's and it's probably not like making an extra 50 000 more. You know, and and those are the seekers like those are the people that tend to to gravitate towards me, because it's always worth solving what we were like a few years ago.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, right, yeah. That's who your best position to serve. I just quoted you. Worry, vayden, here we are. Um, yeah, absolutely yeah wait, is that okay? I'm a part of rory's community as well yeah, yeah, I think that's how we met I. I can't even remember sometimes who's come to me from where.
Speaker 2:You're right. Now that you mention it, you're right. I was like oh, what a coincidence. And that's like okay, that's how we.
Speaker 1:Wait a second. No, it's so true, though Half the time I don't remember how people find my podcast. So, yeah, sometimes we make connections on air and it's like that's right. That's where I know you from. Yeah, we're both part of the brand builders group. It's a personal brand strategy company and the owner is Rory Vaden, and he says this quote that many of us love and have quoted many times but you are best positioned to serve the person. You once were, which is exactly what Davidson is doing, and he rocking it and he's serving the person. If this is you, who you know, you're seeing success in life, but maybe it's all external validation and you know that self-criticism exercise. You think like man, I can see that I would benefit from that exercise, you know. If that's you, then you want to check out daring arts. This virtual community is convenient. Um, it's Davidson. Hung H a N Gcom. The links, of course, will be in the show notes, as always. And, davidson, where else can people find you and follow you?
Speaker 2:I'm pretty active on social media, similar, similar to you, so it's pretty hard to miss me. Some of my friends say I post too often, but I'm like you know well then, you can always say unfollow me yeah, I'm like my, I was. I was on. I interviewed holly cotton um oh, who you should connect with as as well. Actually she's pretty interesting, I think. I think you guys would hit it off.
Speaker 2:Actually I think she might be an eight as well, like now that I'm thinking like the way she she thinks, um, but uh, oh, why was I? Why did I mention? Oh, she said she's like you kind of have to be like obnoxious about it, right, because because she's like you never know, because she's like I've published like nine books but I still have friends that I'll catch up with and they're like oh, congratulations on your book. And she's like which one it? What do you mean? You have more than one book and she's just like and she's like that was confirmation that, like, you just got to like you got to say it 10 million times.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That's exactly right. Well, davidson's always smiling. You can follow him on YouTube too. I mean, there's some people that they might post too much because their content is not great. It's not because they're posting too much, it's just their content's not that great. Where you know Davidson, the same energy that he brings here is what he's bringing to his social media. So I love your smile, your encouragement, your optimism and I just truly pray God's blessing over your heart, your home, Samantha, all that you guys are doing. So it's been an honor to have you here.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. This has been amazing, like the space that you hold and just your, your grace like. And then I loved how you were able to switch it up with the funny right, cause Tony Robbins does this as well. You probably got it from Tony right, I'm guessing, but I've actually never seen Tony.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know who he was until a couple of years ago. Sorry, Tony.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, you did his main lesson Well. Okay, he has a lot of lessons, but I would say if it's probably the second biggest takeaway, he always says is like pattern interruption, so by doing the switching it up and doing like the fast rounds. He does this a lot in his teachings as well.
Speaker 2:But, he said that you're able to get people's energy like higher and then get them to laugh and then they'll let down their guard and they'll be much more vulnerable. So I was like whoa, she just did what Tony is teaching us, but you did it without even knowing that that's what he was teaching.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for the validation, though I still appreciate it. I appreciate it, tony. I'm sorry I'm not giving you more credit, but I thank you for that, davidson it's been an honor.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Take care.