imPERFECTly emPOWERed®

How One Simple Morning Habit Changed Her Life with My Mom

August 20, 2024 • Ahna Fulmer • Season 3

Share episode

ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

Ever wondered how a simple change in your morning routine could transform your life? Join us for a heartfelt conversation with my mom, a registered nurse, who faced her skepticism about early mornings head-on. Listen as she shares her journey from being a natural late riser to discovering the profound impact of starting her day with intention. Her story is particularly poignant as she navigates the emotional challenges of her parents' declining health, finding a new sense of purpose and spiritual nourishment. 


JUMP RIGHT TO IT:

0:00 Early Morning Habit Program Testimonial

10:45 Starting the Day With Gratitude

17:58 Morning Habit Program Flexibility and Balance



Kickstart your own revival by renewing your morning.  Say 'thanks' to Keri for sharing her story by joining Early Morning Habit through her link. Let’s rise. https://ahnafulmer.com/early-morning-habit/?ref=Keri+Buckwalter


Revitalize your faith and fitness with a morning routine that does not sacrifice your sleep and does start each day with God's Word and a workout. Join the community today at www.earlymorninghabit.com 


Contact The Show!

Website: http://www.ahnafulmer.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imperfectlyempoweredpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahnafulmer/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ahnadfulmer

Speaker 1:

Well, it is really fun to have on the podcast today. She is sharing her experience in early morning habit. My mom uh, it is such an honor to have my mom here today. I just sneezed so we had to edit that out. You can all thank me, your ears Thank me, Um but what I am so grateful for is that you represent this like collective stage of life for so many women and I'm really honored to have you on here to share your perspective about the early morning habit program. When you initially read about the program, what drew you to it? Why initially did you sign up for early morning habit?

Speaker 2:

So, if we're being totally candid, my first thought was this is a program Ana's doing. That is not for me, because of the whole quote, unquote, early morning piece. I am by nature a later in the day person. Never have been a morning person. Not that I can't do it, I've had to for years. I'm a registered nurse, 40 plus years. I've pretty much always worked day shift. Once I'm up, I'm good.

Speaker 2:

It's the actual getting up making myself do the alarm. I'm not a snooze person. I give myself the max sleep and the alarm goes once I'm out and then I'm good. Um, but I hate the alarm. And so you know, when I saw early morning habit, I think, wow, it's, it's a great concept. I kind of wish I was a morning person. But but at the same time, once I talked to you about it a little bit and realized it's okay to give myself a little latitude on that part. It's more about how I'm starting my day than when I'm starting my day. And you know I really wanted to, you know, participate and be involved in what you were doing and, you know, be part of your pilot.

Speaker 2:

So I thought okay well, you know, we'll give it a whirl and I'll let myself be flexible where I need to be. So there were parts of it. You know. As I understood what it was to be about, that, I realized I need this.

Speaker 1:

That's kind of what I as you started it, you said that once it got rolling, you were like, oh, I do need this. What were those elements that you thought, oh yeah, I do need this. What were those elements that you thought, oh yeah, I do need this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, just a better overall start to my day. In general, I had pretty much fallen into a long habit. I had fallen away years ago truly from any kind of habit of starting my day with the Lord and I, you know, I it's not that I spiritually was struggling per se it, it just wasn't a habit. Um, and you know, I kind of relied on my Sundays and you know, um worship, music and that kind of thing to connect with the Lord, but not really a first thing in the day time, to just, you know, get in the word. And um, I just it was laziness to, if we're going to be honest, um, I just had gotten away from it um a long time ago and my habit more really had become more go out and get the newspaper, get my cup of tea. I'm not a coffee drinker, love the smell of it but, uh, never liked the taste of it for some reason.

Speaker 2:

So I, you know I, I get my good.

Speaker 1:

And somehow I'm her daughter. I promise biologically all the kids. Yeah, we're obsessed with coffee and our parents both drink tea.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, sorry, I think that's part of why I love the smell of it is. It usually means that there's kids at home. But anyway, I it kind of became a pretty set routine of making my morning tea, and these are I should qualify these are days that I'm not working If, if I'm working a shift that starts at 7am, I am getting up with the minimum time needed to get myself to work, make my tea and take it with me, um, but I'm not reading anything, I'm not doing anything else. So, um, but um, yeah, but starting with the newspaper, uh, I, I do still like the, you know, physical copy of the newspaper. May or may not do the crossword that day, um, but I, I grew up in a home that was always very in touch with the daily news and you know, like it or not, that has been part of just you know who I am.

Speaker 2:

I think too is just a general sort of world awareness of you know, what's happening in the world and the country and whatever locally, and that's kind of how my day started. But then it also it also kind of became the newspaper and my to do list. I can honestly say it didn't start with and still doesn't really with getting right on my phone. I'm not a social media person, so that that is not a struggle particularly for me, but definitely, you know, maybe just checking the email and any major news feeds, but it just wasn't a particularly edifying start to the day as a general rule.

Speaker 1:

But a very, very common one. I mean, I think that is a very socially acceptable and common routine. I guess is where I'm going with that. Like it's a very understandable, practical and, frankly, still probably healthy than a lot of people's morning routines, like there's nothing inherently wrong with that routine. But to your point, that I would love to hear is how then did early morning habit and the program change that early morning habit and the program changed that, and how did you see that change, even just your day, as you changed your morning.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the other. The other thing that was interesting about the timing for me um, as you well know, um, the the early morning habit pilot group happened to start right at probably one of the craziest times of my life. In some respects. I am in my early 60s. Both of our sets of parents are still living.

Speaker 2:

My folks have increasingly been struggling with pretty significant memory loss and it was becoming apparent they were still living independently in a very large house, three-story house, in a retirement community. So it was a matter of getting them to see the need to transition to you know more of an assisted living circumstance in that community. But at the time, for years they've been living independently and that needed to change. And we had started that process and were under the impression that it was going to be months and months before there was a two-room suite available for them in the area where they needed to transition to. So we were kind of taking our good old time and suddenly we get an email hey, there's a unit available. We really think they should take this, but you need to commit because there's a wait list. They can't just put it off. We had travel plans, significant travel out of the country 10 days and then 16 days at a time. That had been planned over a year ago. And they're telling me they need to make this move in two weeks.

Speaker 2:

And so I, to say the least, was overwhelmed. I was just like I don't see how we can make this happen. First they're trying to get them to understand that something we've sort of been talking about is now going to happen in two weeks, and downsizing them from over 4,500 square feet to two rooms. It just I was like and I'm still working, and you know, not full time, but enough that. I was like I don't see how I can make this happen. But make a long story short, we did, and you know that's its own story, but that was the timing and you know I really wanted. I felt like I had committed to doing the pilot program.

Speaker 1:

I felt like I had committed to doing the pilot program and I thought this is either the worst possible time for me to start this, or maybe it's exactly what I need to somehow, um you know, somehow make this happen, as well as everything else.

Speaker 2:

Um, and and that really turned out to be the case I, it was exactly what I needed at that time, because I it wasn't that I was even waking up in the morning with my to-do list. My to-do list was buzzing in my brain 24 seven at this point, um, you know, trying to figure out all the logistics of this move and helping them to comprehend what's going on, and, um, you know, so I would go to bed and wake up just thinking about all these things and all the mental lists, and so, to start the day quieting, trying to quiet that, I mean, it was tough, um yeah probably one of the hardest parts still is for me to sit and and get those things to quiet.

Speaker 2:

Um and enough to you know. Look at what scripture I'm looking at that day, and you know, and how quickly I realized, man, I'm already my brain's already gone to the to-do list again um and to kind of rein that back in again. So, um it it was. It was exactly what I needed, but it was a tough time to to try to learn those kind of new habits.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. I love what you said, though, about the idea of reigning back in the to-do list, because, I mean, you're not the only one. This has come from several people and it's one of the reasons that we actually start the program for those of you listening and watching with this concept of breathing, so we literally start, before we even read stuff in the program, start practicing breathing techniques that help you to be present. And still, because we live in this, especially as women, where we almost never experience just true stillness of body and of mind, it's really, really hard, especially when there's literal and figurative noise surrounding us constantly. So this is a really difficult thing for women especially to do, and I would love to hear your perspective on what was the payoff.

Speaker 1:

You know, so you're starting your day with quiet and you are actively working on stilling that in your mind. What was the benefit that you saw to doing that? Because I know there's women already hearing this and being like okay, that sounds fantastic. However, as soon as I wake up, I see that to-do list, and it feels less productive to start my day not just jumping right to the to-do list. How did you see the payoff in your life where it was worth, and is worth starting your day this way, despite this pressing list of things that you need to do.

Speaker 2:

Right. So for me, a couple of things I know I alluded to earlier. I am not by nature a morning person. I also am somebody who doesn't necessarily need a ton of sleep. I can get away. Like I said, once I'm up and going, I'm good to go. I'm not a napper, and you know.

Speaker 2:

So I, for this period of time particularly, I did start setting an earlier alarm, probably because my to-do list was so long. Because my to-do list was so long, um, there was just was so much going on and and I quickly realized that, yeah, I don't love the alarm, it's still, it's still tough, and this, you know, this was still winter and so you know it was dark, um, and the actual getting up was was difficult. And yet I, I started discovering how much more I was actually getting done just by starting my day earlier. For me, again, because I don't necessarily need, you know, I don't need eight or nine hours, I'm good on six or seven Um, but I, you know, I didn't necessarily start going to bed a whole lot earlier, but I definitely was getting up earlier and I just I felt like I was accomplishing so much more Um, but the other thing I think for me um was. It was easy, the whole emotion and maybe I'm jumping the gun here that the no, go for it.

Speaker 2:

The tuning into the emotional part of it as well. Um, and starting the day with gratitude was really important for me during that time because, you know, it was easy, in the overwhelmedness of all the details, to start to get really negative, and my personality can lean that way. To begin with. I, can, you know, tend to lean toward the negativity rather than seeing the positives, um, by nature, and so it was a time where it just was really easy, um, to just think of all the tough parts and the bad things and the you know be frustrated by, you know, people's reactions to things, or, um, or, or even just, you know, to have phases where, like, why is this all falling on me?

Speaker 2:

Um, you know, and, and feeling like, and, and, even though people who could help were attempting to, there's only so much others could do in some of these situations, and you know, and, and you know the reality is as the one of two children for them, and the oldest daughter and the local child was going to fall on me, and that's just how it was, and remembering that this is a phase of life, we just need to get through it, but there were so many little things to be grateful for that I could have.

Speaker 2:

I might have've easily missed um in in the. You know, in the overwhelm of it all that that taking that time in the morning you know to focus and and write down and journal some of those little things and big things, you know that there was so much to to be grateful for Um and starting with that focus you know really helped during that time to kind of stay grounded um and not, and not just, and not to say that I mean there there was kind of a comical moment one day, well into this whole process, where I I had an honest meltdown, and you know me, I'm I'm not a meltdown kind of person, but I needed it.

Speaker 2:

It was, it was, it was nothing to do with mom and dad, it was actually a tax thing, Cause I do our taxes and something was happening when suddenly we had this multi-thousand dollar tax burden, I'm like where did that come from?

Speaker 2:

I don't understand what just happened, but, and I, I did, I just lost it and it was like all those emotions kind of you know, but but I, I, I think, without the you know starting the days with some of the gratitude piece of it, it, those meltdowns might've come sooner and more often um just cause you could just so focus on all all the negatives that were happening.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. I love that perspective and, for those of you listening and watching, what what she's alluding to is a core concept of the entire program is that we want to empower you to start your day being not doing. And, specifically, we take that time and we intentionally apply a practice called emotionally intelligent gratitude and where we're identifying the emotions that exist. We're not ignoring the difficult, just like the season that you were in during the six-week pilot group. You don't ignore the reality that exists, but instead it's actually acknowledging it, claiming that this stinks, this is hard, claiming that this stinks, this is hard, but then you are covering it and sort of re-framing those uncomfortable emotions and the challenge with gratitude. And then we take it to the next level and we talk about how we can implement that through God's word and prayer in that quiet time. So I love that perspective and I've told my mom this before.

Speaker 1:

But there's this phase of life as women and I've had fitness nutrition clients in this phase as well where it's possibly one of the most taxing phases of life. I don't know, I'm not there yet, but you have parents that now need you. You're always a mom that never stops, but then you've got grandkids on top of it and you're still working and you, you're always a mom. That never stops. But then you've got grandkids on top of it and you're still working and you're still doing all the things cooking, meal planning.

Speaker 1:

For some of you, you love that. I personally don't. So it's a lot. It's a lot. And I'm curious what you would say to the woman who's listening and watching, who's in that phase, but who hears the concept of early morning habit. Maybe she goes onto the website and she'd be considering it, but she's concerned about the time, maybe the price or the loss, potential loss of sleep, because many women in this phase of life are also very tired. They wake up as tired as they were when they went to bed. What would you say to that woman?

Speaker 2:

Um, I mean, I heard I would definitely say, you know, give it a whirl anyway, but allow yourself. I had to be careful because you know one of the things that I think a lot of women probably in this phase of life again, because you have, you know you may have parents still living that may or may not need you on a daily or weekly basis or whatever. Or you know, um, you may have grandkids or kids. You know who you know need you in some way. Um and it's. I find it's a struggle sometimes to not feel like I'm not doing a great job at any of them.

Speaker 1:

Like.

Speaker 2:

I, I'm spread too thin. Um, you know I, I. It's easy to just sort of start to feel like you're, you're failing to some at some level on in every role. You know I'm not as committed as I feel like I still should be at work I. You know my grandkids live three miles away and yet I hardly see them because I'm so occupied with all these things. You know, and you know, and I realize that's. You know they've got busy schedules too, but it's it's easy to start to spiral into.

Speaker 1:

I'm.

Speaker 2:

I'm failing at everything and I'm I'm only doing all these things sort of in a half-hearted manner, not not that I'm half-hearted about it, but just you know that I can't seem to really, you know, commit myself fully to anyone, and I had to be careful not to. I started the program and started to quickly feel like, okay, great, this is one more thing that I'm not really doing 100%, because there were some aspects that I definitely, you know, didn't pour myself into as much as I might've liked. Um, and I, I think the big thing that I'm I'm learning as I get older in many aspects is to cut myself some slack. Um, you know, I have high expectations and I think, um, you know, life has different phases and just realizing that some of these things aren't going to last forever. You know, again, our situation is somewhat unique to be in our, you know, early to mid 60s and still have four loving parents. We have been so fortunate in that, up to this point, those parents have been fully independent and we, like those parents.

Speaker 1:

Let's throw that out there. What's that I said? And we like those parents. Let's throw that out there. What's that I said? And we like those parents. Let's throw that out there. Not only are my four grandparents living, but I have a fantastic relationship with all four of them, so we actually like our grandparents.

Speaker 2:

But it does mean that we're still spending time with them you know where some folks might have that time to if their grandkids say we're local you know, to be seeing more of them, where we're still kind of looking at our folks saying we don't know how long we're going to have them or we don't know how long we're going to have them in.

Speaker 2:

You know this state of alertness and capability, and so you know we're still sort of investing time and, just you know, appreciating the time that we have with them as well. But it does sometimes leave you feeling spread thinner than you want to be, and so you know, and like, with the schedule part of it, you know, I realized I at this stage I'm probably not going to completely revamp my life clock and and didn't necessarily want to, um, the days that I do work and still I'm needing to show up at seven o'clock, I'll be honest, I don't get up early enough to, you know, do the full early morning habit thing. Um, there's other aspects of it that for me, weren't a big, uh, a big big transition. I'm a regular exerciser, I enjoy exercise, I'm very active, so, um, you know, the exercise piece wasn't difficult. Um, I don't, I wasn't always doing it first thing in the morning.

Speaker 2:

there's definite perks to getting that out of the way. Um, first thing, but sometimes I'm, you know, looking to add, or, you know, vary, because I, you know, I might be training for a hike or a longer run or something, a race I want to do, or whatever. So, um, you know, just just to not to be so legalistic about these things that you feel like then, when you're not doing it exactly the way it's quote unquote supposed to be done, that, then you feel like, oh, I'm not quote unquote supposed to be done that. Then you feel like, oh, I'm not, it's one more thing that I'm not quite doing to the full extent.

Speaker 1:

Um, and just allowing yourself that, you know, that bit of slack and, um, wiggle room, I guess you could say that that that's okay, you know, that's the fact that you're doing it at all, and if you, you know, come away with, you know, some some piece of it, that it's, uh, you know, a benefit to your all or nothing mentality and really embrace imperfect progress and, like you said, allow that to uh sort of be the the end goal, not to do it all, all perfectly, um, and what you've alluded to really well also, ladies, uh, listening and watching is that early morning habit is a guide. This is precisely how you need to start each day. In this very rigid format, it's a guide and everyone does benefit from different things. We do a whole section on sleep. We saw incredible feedback on the sensory sleep rehab that um, second to the emotionally intelligent gratitude practice.

Speaker 1:

Women find the sleep rehab the second most beneficial slash, transformational aspect of the program. So we are going to work on sleep if you are struggling with it, and then, like my mom mentioned, there's the fitness element, but I hope people come away feeling like, like you just said, mom, that there is flexibility. It's a guide, um, and can be tailored to your specific stage of life, season of life, et cetera. So I I I'm not sure if you felt that way or not, but that would be the goal for women.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think this especially addressing, you know, my age group, for women, um, the sleep thing is, it's very real, like there's these stereotypes about oh you're middle-aged women, we just sleep well, well, we don't. Um, it's a physical thing. We lose, we, we stopped making some of those chemicals, natural chemicals that do help us sleep. So, you know, if you need to supplement that with something, that's okay. Like you know, find what works for you.

Speaker 2:

But I think, there and again with with this, with this particular piece of it, there, there weren't big adjustments for me to make because we, we already kind of implement a number of those things. Really, dark room, um, you know no, uh, no phones where they can be heard during the night, kind of thing. Um, unless it's, you know it's, it's close enough that if it would ring, we just recently finally got rid of our landline. So you know, now it does need to be, if I needed to be called an emergency in the middle of the night, that I could hear it ring. But I'm not going to hear the little pings of you know some notice that came across or whatever that's going to wake me up. And I'm, you know, we're definitely not on it.

Speaker 2:

We're not big TV watchers, so not usually doing that right before bed, or certainly you know, on my phone scrolling social media, but I do think there's a lot of things that people are probably sabotaging themselves and not realizing it where you know that whole sleep section of the program I think is probably really beneficial for a lot of people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, One of my favorite questions to ask if you could use one word to describe how you felt and your morning felt before early morning habit. To one word to describe how you felt and your morning felt after early morning habit, what would you say? So, for example, for my own life, I would say from chaos to calm. So there's nothing like putting somebody on the spot. Feel free to take a second.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, one word is tough. Again, some of it is specific to the actual timing for me of when I got introduced to the program, but for me at that time, certainly one big change would have been starting my day feeling overwhelmed or overloaded to after and into the program, feeling like my day was starting more collected, like not even necessarily in control, because things weren't necessarily in control, but I felt more collected, like this is okay. Yeah, there there's the to-do list is long, but there's a lot to be grateful for and we'll get through this. And God is good, you know, and and um, it's you just, you felt you felt just a little more. Um, yeah, I just collected is the word that comes to mind. Yeah, I love that, love that.

Speaker 1:

So so say that again. From what to what?

Speaker 2:

what was the words I just used? Overwhelmed, over overwhelmed and overloaded um to more, more collected.

Speaker 1:

I love that, from overwhelmed to collected. If you are listening and watching and this story resonates with you and women, we see you. This phase of life is hard, is hard. I've talked to so many women in this stage and I know I'll get there eventually. But you are seen and we would love to help you rise with this concept of being not doing and truly see holistic change. We take a high level approach and then we deep dive real fast. So we would love to have you join us.

Speaker 1:

If my mom's story resonates with you, I would love for you to say thank you to her. If you want to join early morning habit, we would love to have you, but click on the link that is in the show notes and that is specifically her referral link. She does get a thank you gift for anyone who signs up for the program through her link. And, mom, it was really a blessing having you not just in the program, but I'm grateful for your willingness to share. My mom is not one to get in front of a camera, so I fully acknowledge this is a gift from her to me. But I am thankful for you sharing because a lot of women need to hear this and I know they're resonating with you. There are women all over hearing this that are like that's me.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure I'm at right now, so we, from my heart, thank you for being the program and thank you for sharing.

Speaker 2:

My pleasure.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Ahna Fulmer

Host