#2: Mending Hearts & the Magic of Friendship

Ever wondered how the transition from a carefree, single life to the whirlwind of motherhood affects a woman's sense of self? Grab a mocktail or messy cocktail  and join us in an honest exploration of a sober-curious lifestyle, the evolution of parenthood, and the beauty found in the chaos of raising tiny humans. Ryan & Kelly  reminisce about the days before children—how pregnancy prompted Kelly to put the wine glasses down and how our adventures have shifted from solo exploits to family escapades. We're toasting to milestones and sharing personal anecdotes, like the time a champagne cork made a surprise attack during our recording, all while affirming the enduring bonds of friendship that have only strengthened since our middle school days.

Life throws curveballs, and they don't always miss. When a breakup brings our world crashing down, we're right there in the trenches together, unpacking the messiness of separating lives entwined both personally and professionally. From family squabbles to career consequences, we're diving into the resilience it takes to start over and the invaluable role a solid support network plays in the healing process. Expect a few laughs too, as we recount those moments that make you double-take, like bizarre requests from a med student oddly fascinated with feet and the unexpected health tips that emerge in the most unlikely conversations.

The journey doesn't end with the laughter, though. We're opening up about my battle with postpartum depression and anxiety, contrasting my vastly different experiences with both children. We celebrate being better equipped the second time around and emphasize the importance of preparedness and support in navigating these challenges. So, as we wrap up this episode of "Mocktails are Messy," we're raising our non-alcoholic glass & traditional alcoholic for the normies to the power of friendship, the courage it takes to rebuild, and the warmth that comes from mutual support. It's not just about the mess—it's about finding the joy and humor in every spilled drink and unexpected spill of life.

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Transcript

Mocktails and Motherhood

Speaker 1 0:00

This is Ryan Frankovsky, and.

Speaker 2 0:02

Kelly Misgorsky.

Speaker 1 0:04

And you're listening to Mocktails.

Speaker 2 0:06

Are.

Speaker 1 0:07

Messy. Are you gonna get messy today, Kelly? I am. She's always been my messy friend, but then I could also be right there with you. I've been there, we've done that.

Speaker 2 0:17

You're my messy friend too.

Speaker 1 0:19

Okay, well, today I am going to be mocktailing it. It has actually been two and a half weeks since my last drop of booze, since my last drink.

Speaker 2 0:29

You're doing dry January, correct I?

Speaker 1 0:30

am, I am. I might even extend it depending on how I'm feeling, but what are your thoughts on me being dry? Do you feel like I'm a little too dry?

Speaker 2 0:39

No, I think it's always great to take a pause. I got my pause when I was pregnant for the past.

Speaker 1 0:45

Yes, you did.

Speaker 2 0:46

You know nine, 10 months.

Speaker 1 0:48

Yeah, and you've done that twice right.

Speaker 2 0:50

Yeah, yes, I've taken two major pauses. And I enjoyed it, I really did.

Speaker 1 0:55

Now tell me, like, what is it like to be a mother of two? I know like you've been a mother of one for the last couple of years and now you just popped out Ethan in October. It's weird. Like I can't even I think of you as like the wild, crazy single friend that was just like all over the world, and now you're just settling down into motherhood.

Speaker 2 1:15

I know I, if I'm being honest, I do not feel like myself. And I think it'll take a few years to get back to that.

Speaker 1 1:22

Yes.

Speaker 2 1:23

The most difficult part was the mom guilt for my first that now she doesn't get all my time. She doesn't get all my energy and she kind of still wants it. So it's like mommy, mommy, mommy, all day long.

Speaker 1 1:38

Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 1:39

And then the baby's crying because he wants milk and it's like I have to tell her like, hey, honey, I need to feed the baby. Can I have a mate?

Speaker 1 1:48

You have, like this perfect family. Regardless of the craziness, you got a little girl, the oldest one. Who is? How old?

Speaker 2 1:55

She's three and a half.

Speaker 1 1:57

Three and a half and then you have little boy. I mean, who doesn't want a girl and a boy? That's like the perfect family setup.

Speaker 2 2:04

I know now I never have to do it again. Sometimes I have baby fever, but my husband's like no, I'm getting snipped. What do you mean snipped? He's gonna get a vasectomy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah okay that's right. That's right and I'm trying to like tell him like wait till we're 35. Yeah, just in case.

Speaker 1 2:22

You guys are so young, like 32, 32. Hey, now that he's a pilot, like you know, flying all over the world, you need to be like, stimulated, with babies.

Speaker 2 2:31

Yeah, overstimulated, that's true.

Speaker 1 2:35

What are you drinking, Kelly?

Speaker 2 2:37

I am drinking some champagne.

Speaker 1 2:40

Oh yeah, you got champagne.

Speaker 2 2:42

That's yeah, oh, no, no, no, I think it might be a.

Speaker 1 2:45

It's a burro or a no, it's a prosecco.

Speaker 2 2:47

You brought this for me. This is the Elmo.

Speaker 1 2:51

Yes, yes, it's a prosecco, you tell me. And don't ever get confused. You know, champagne is only made in Champagne. She's, she's, she's aware, she just forgot. You know, I think a lot of people get confused with like champagne as like bubbles, but champagne is only made in Champagne France.

Speaker 2 3:14

Okay.

Speaker 1 3:15

But I'm gonna open up.

Speaker 2 3:16

I mean, don't, don't I never know if you're being serious or not.

Speaker 1 3:20

I know I do like to improvise, I do yeah yeah, I'm gonna have to look that up now. You gotta believe me. I mean, I know I was just making up all this shit on the spot, but I am actually gonna do our free sparkling barute right here. This is non-alcoholic champagne. I'm sorry, I'm getting confused now, Kelly, you got me. You got me distracted with your dress.

Speaker 2 3:46

You know what I liked it? Oh, I'm sorry, let me just, it looks so beautiful.

Speaker 1 3:51

Thank you.

Speaker 2 3:52

We are matching today, you look so pretty too.

Speaker 1 3:54

I like the velvet. I do like the velvet on you. But yeah, to kind of go back to this alcohol removed, it's fray free. It's a sparkling barute to compliment the mocktail version of your Prosecco. You ready, I love it.

Speaker 2 4:10

Yes, I'm ready. Don't take a light out.

Speaker 1 4:12

Okay, I know, I know that's always been the kind of worry. I can even give you a little New Year's Eve video. I almost popped the glass.

Speaker 2 4:19

Don't give me a black eye. You don't want that. I don't want any angry pirate Woo. Ah, ah, ah.

Speaker 1 4:32

Oh my, that was not supposed to happen. That was not supposed to happen. Oh my God, oh my God, okay, all right, I guess I just peed myself and we're just gonna keep rallying, because, oh my God, wow, I guess half the bottle is in my crotch. But that was not part of the plan. I'm sorry, I was are you good? I'm good it's just soaked in my crotch.

Speaker 1 4:59

So yeah, that was not supposed to happen. I promise you that. I mean, hey, we just got a rally. You know we're limited on time. She's got a breastfeed later. You can sometimes just sipping or soaking wet right now, but let's cheers to. Mocktails are messy.

Speaker 2 5:16

Okay, cheers.

Speaker 1 5:20

I really like that. I love it. You look so beautiful today. You look so handsome. We definitely have to give you a little backstory on us again. We were middle school.

Speaker 2 5:34

Yeah, so everybody now hold on. Everybody loved our last podcast. They loved getting to know our guest Dan, but we did have some requests to share a little bit more about us.

Speaker 1 5:46

Yes, couple DMs slid in there.

Speaker 2 5:49

Yeah.

Speaker 1 5:51

Trying to build.

Speaker 2 5:54

Yes, yeah. So we became friends in seventh grade and it's because we were both flirts.

Speaker 1 6:00

Oh, yeah, biggest flirts.

Speaker 2 6:02

Biggest flirts. We just started flirting with each other and everyone wanted to date him. So I was like I'm gonna date him because everybody wants him.

Speaker 1 6:11

That was just the new kid on the block coming from Fox Chapel to Pine Richland.

Speaker 2 6:15

You were like the only new kid that year and so everybody had their eye on you for sure, and you became friends with my husband that year too, I believe.

Speaker 1 6:25

That's right, mr Mizgorosky, ryan well, it was Ryan Allen and then transferred into Mr Mizgorosky and yeah, he was just like the nerdy, funny, like just weird, but like so real and authentic.

Speaker 2 6:42

Get yourself a nerd girls.

Speaker 1 6:44

Yeah, get yourself a hot nerd right With a big what kind of big? What Big brain. Yes, I love a big brain because you know, honestly, at the end of the day, looks will fade, but the brain is the most important for procreation.

Speaker 2 7:03

You need someone you can have challenging conversations with.

Speaker 1 7:06

Yeah.

Speaker 2 7:07

Someone who stimulates your mind. And Ryan Misgorsky does it he said keep me off of your podcast, so maybe we'll keep him off of it.

Speaker 1 7:17

Yeah, we might have to just kind of respect his privacy. But one person that we're not going to respect their privacy today is us. Yeah, we've got to just be open books.

Speaker 2 7:28

That's part of it. Yes, Put-In Pop.

Speaker 1 7:31

You're such a good Put-In Pop for daddy.

Speaker 2 7:34

All right, kitty.

Speaker 1 7:36

I don't know. I mean, I just feel like our chemistry has been since day one like very fiery, but like also there is like a best friend involved in this relationship.

Speaker 2 7:48

I like when you say like we speak the same language. It's so important with really anyone in your life.

Speaker 1 7:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2 7:57

It's going to be a smooth relationship.

Speaker 1 7:59

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 8:00

We dated in middle school, high school and college.

Speaker 1 8:03

Yes.

Speaker 2 8:05

Well, if we're being honest, we're probably more like friends with benefits in college.

Speaker 1 8:11

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 8:12

Those who get it, get it. Those who don't don't.

Speaker 1 8:17

What are you referring to?

Speaker 2 8:20

Isn't that what the cool kids say?

Speaker 1 8:21

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 8:23

we were always like you know, not everybody has had a friends with benefits.

Speaker 1 8:27

Oh, no, no, you know, I think that it's the best way to like. You kind of kept me on the straight and narrow path throughout university and just focusing on my studies, and then I always knew that like I had Kelly in the back of my mind, like we could go out, we could have a great time, it would be like I don't know if it was ever really super romantic.

Speaker 2 8:47

Never, it wasn't we don't like that.

Speaker 1 8:51

That was a good sign. Yeah, we definitely had a lot of fun just going from like college working at Steve's bar.

Speaker 2 9:03

Yes, the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern. So the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern RIP.

Speaker 1 9:08

RIP. Rest in Peace. Bloomfield Bridge Tavern.

Speaker 2 9:10

I miss you forever. I know Love you long time.

Speaker 1 9:14

The pierogies, the Polish food, you know.

Speaker 2 9:18

Jins, that shit was great, jins loved it.

Speaker 1 9:21

Yeah, I had a lot of good memories there and I think the one thing that was my favorite memory were like the parties and the events that we shared, like the birthdays and the graduations.

Speaker 2 9:33

Yeah, so I had my 21st birthday there.

Speaker 1 9:36

Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:37

And I remember so, he always had some girl chasing after him. Whatever was happening, there was a girl chasing after him and this girl wanted to get into the party so she could, like I don't know, hang out with him and she, we wouldn't let her in. We closed down the gate.

Speaker 1 9:54

Yes.

Speaker 2 9:55

Because it was my birthday party only my friends. And she keyed his car and left him a bunch of hateful voicemails.

Speaker 1 10:05

Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, that was Stephanie. I remember her name. She worked at Bar Louis. She came into the bar when I was working at the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern and I forget what the interest was. I think it was just like you know how some people they just really want like somebody to just give them attention. Yes, Part of being a bartender, I feel like, is yes. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 10:30

Oh my gosh, yes To our roots. We are flirts, so we would flirt it up. I remember I would tell my then fiance this I would take off my engagement ring when I went to work. Oh, naughty, kitty I did and, whether you agree with that or not, it got me better tips.

Speaker 1 10:50

Yeah, here's to that. I mean, hey, this is part of the industry. I think maybe some people would disagree with that.

Speaker 2 10:57

It worked for us, I know that it worked for me and my husband.

Speaker 1 11:00

Yeah, now husband yeah.

Speaker 2 11:03

He's always given me free reign.

Speaker 1 11:05

He's never been a jealous guy. Nope, I think that's a key to a good marriage.

Speaker 2 11:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 11:11

You see so many people out there like jealous of that person, texting this person, or that person calling this person, or even just like being out in public and you're giving more attention to a certain dude, or maybe even it could be a female as well. I think one thing that I love about your husband he doesn't care, he lets you be yourself, and that's the key to a successful marriage.

Speaker 2 11:34

Yeah.

Speaker 1 11:35

You know, I think I thought that was going to be the case with me and my now ex.

Speaker 2 11:42

Yes, so we did try to film this episode once before, but emotions were running too high and it was a little bit too hard for you to talk about it at the time.

Speaker 1 11:56

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:57

So let's backtrack. For the last 10 years we've not been in Pittsburgh. We've both recently moved back to Pittsburgh. A little bit about myself I was a military spouse, my husband was a pilot in the Marine Corps and I have just been all over the country in the last 10 years. And here we are now. We move back because our whole family's here and we have two children.

Speaker 1 12:21

So go ahead and yeah, and I just kind of was all over the map. I was like New York, minneapolis, los Angeles, kind of similar to you, like didn't really stay in one place too long. I guess the longest I would say is the last five years, given that COVID happened. It was hard to move anywhere and Los Angeles was a good place to live, with the warm weather and being able to do all these different things outside. During the pandemic I did fall into a relationship and I know that you've met them before and out of privacy I guess I shouldn't disclose their name.

Speaker 2 13:05

So, out of respect for this person, I don't want to disclose their name either because, I care about this person still, whether I'm going to, and out of respect for you, I won't speak to them again.

Speaker 1 13:16

Well, I don't really even want you to not feel like you can't, because I will say there is something to be said about ending and being happy for them and maybe really just acknowledging the fact that it just wasn't meant to be, and being happy for them, even if they did create so much chaos, tornado type of last couple weeks. I mean, it has been a wild ride and I know that you've been there through it all since we've moved back to Pittsburgh. I've kind of let you in on what has happened since December 7th of 2023. It's been a rough ride, kelly, and I know that you I didn't even want to talk about it with you because I was just like so emotionally fried and I just didn't even know what was gonna happen. I really didn't think it was gonna end so toxic.

Speaker 2 14:16

Yeah, so I have some questions, if you're ready to answer them now. I know last time you were not really ready to talk about it.

Speaker 1 14:25

Yeah, I don't know like I'm such an open book normally.

Speaker 2 14:27

I think I was just, I'm ready. Okay. Alright so are you following the typical no contact role where you see his contact with your ex?

Speaker 1 14:42

is that what is recommended? Yes, is that a prescription? Yes, is that okay? Obviously, I've been hard to like deal with because, as much as I wanted to, at one point I blocked them. After it was when I was sitting with you and we were actually at the other studio and I just had to block them. They called like 16 times and they were asking for these ridiculous requests and now we do have some startling Messages yeah maybe if you feel comfortable reading them.

Speaker 1 15:18

It is really scary to think about how you thought you knew one person and then, when you do depart from the relationship and you know, I really felt like this was like one of the top three most difficult decisions because you know I'm thinking this Relationship is gonna be forever.

Speaker 2 15:40

I've never seen you in such rough shape before.

Speaker 1 15:43

Yeah, and I guess that reminder that I keep getting from you and even my family is listen, this is breaking up 101. It's not easy for anybody break up, suck.

Speaker 2 15:54

I know, but, like I mean, it's been a heck of a long time since I've had a breakup. I've been married for a decade now, that's crazy. It was. I was genuinely Super concerned, like I would lay in bed, awake, thinking about you, wondering if you were okay.

Speaker 1 16:12

Well, thank you for that. I mean, I gotta say, like you are one of my best friends, I'm so glad to be reunited in Pittsburgh and I think the hardest thing that I have to say is like I didn't want to leave my Life, like, as much as I was super excited to get back to my family in Pittsburgh and to get to like this Place of like you know, your best friends are moving back to the city and the city has really Changed a lot, I didn't want to uproot my life in LA Until this stuff unfolded with the break up not only did you leave, you're now ex.

Speaker 2 16:50

You left your job and you left your entire life behind.

Speaker 1 16:54

Yeah, yeah, I mean I Shout out goes to anybody who, like, had to uproot their life and just like start over. I feel very fortunate and will be reminded from my ex how much support and love that I have. Compared to them, who was Left on their own in LA on Christmas.

Speaker 2 17:17

Do you think that a calm conversation could solve things between the two of you?

Speaker 1 17:22

Absolutely not. That person is a A different person, or they've gone through so many different trials and tribulations. They want to really they want to apologize for the poor behavior that happened.

Speaker 2 17:37

That's so respectable, though. If someone's able to look within themselves and apologize, yeah, that Earns them so much respect.

Speaker 1 17:47

Yeah, and I do. I do really respect them. Now I think, going through it, like just to give you the backstory, it started in Hawaii on a family vacation and it was, you know, my brother was celebrating his 30th birthday. I was really excited. I, you know, had kind of planned to Just have this amazing time, like with the family and his, his in-laws, my brother's in-laws. We shared this, you know, and who doesn't want to go to like a beautiful place like Maui, you know? And it was really a spectacular time. However, when we arrived, it got really quickly Complicated things turned volatile quick.

Speaker 1 18:33

Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 18:35

Now. Are you comfortable touching on some of those Moments?

Speaker 1 18:41

Yeah, I just don't want to get like I don't it's. It feels like hard to talk about it because I try to black out Bad things.

Speaker 2 18:49

I understand now. I think there was two draw jaw dropping moments. Mm-hmm from my standpoint when you told me what happened. The one was the situation with the elderly woman, yeah, and the second was just the Terrible behavior how they isolated themselves and Hand it handled it.

Speaker 1 19:15

Yeah, yeah. Like it was really weird how this person that doesn't necessarily have a drinking problem, however, was just kind of going on this trip as if it was kind of this party like let's get Tipsy, let's let's continue this like Drinking, drinking like around the clock, and it was just like it was kind of a recipe for a disaster when you are on a family trip. This might have been acceptable on like a friend's bachelor party in Vegas.

Speaker 2 19:51

Go to Cabo right.

Speaker 1 19:54

Go to Vegas like. Vegas yeah, it's just not do that on a family vacation, Right and and don't get me wrong like they keep. This is the problem that I feel like I was easily manipulated. They always the ex always justifies the behavior. Well, I've had a hard time, I've lost. You know this and I, you know I'm going through it and like I'm like just get over, like put on the act while my parents and my brother around and like just get it together.

Speaker 2 20:30

Yeah, and there is something to be said about the self development that you and I have went through in the past 10 years. Oh yeah, I don't think we let many things get us down anymore. I mean, if you're comfortable saying like you are unemployed right now, you're going through a hard time because you had to leave your life behind.

Speaker 1 20:52

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:53

That's a hard time.

Speaker 1 20:54

Oh yeah, I think it was really difficult to be like, okay, I'm making after the family vacation, I'm making a necessary step to end this relationship of four and a half years, and that was so difficult. And then, two days later, I get the notice that, yeah, it's like we'd like to end this collaboration with you and I'm like, oh, really Okay.

Speaker 2 21:20

Well, to be fair, this person did reach out to your employer.

Speaker 1 21:24

Mm. Oh my God. Yeah, my ex had sent a group message to my colleagues because they claimed they were triggered by a video that I posted from a trip that we all had taken together to Vegas and what was this video that you posted? It was a reel and it was just kind of showcasing like the second row Lady Gaga concert in Vegas. And then it was showcasing like the beautiful casino and like the how is that off-putting, hahaha.

Speaker 1 22:06

Well, because this person had gotten a lot of perks from an active casino goer, if you will and so the perks were given to them. And then the ex thought that my colleagues that went on this essentially free vacation trip and did not reach out to them, my colleagues should have reached out to my ex when they found out that it all was going south or fell apart, and they just didn't do that. But I'm thinking to myself, why would they reach out to you? I mean, I don't know. I think truthfully the ex I've always said this to them, probably from day one Like there's a common denominator and there seems to be a lot of drama coming from one person and you need to look in the mirror.

Speaker 2 23:01

But If you're the one always having the problems, you're the problem you might be the problem.

Speaker 1 23:12

I mean, I'm in this like tornado, this circle, this cycle. I was always on a carousel with them and I was always like trying to support and trying to mitigate and trying to diffuse and it just was like drama on drama. But then they would really do a great job of masking it at like a certain point that you just be getting so fed up with it and you're like about to call it quits or throw in the towel, and then they would do this amazing grand gesture of like oh you know, I love you, like let me take care of you, let me treat you so well, let me be like super generous, and I think the one thing I learned was they were so generous but not thoughtful.

Speaker 2 24:03

They went from being your sugar daddy to sweet and low daddy, to no daddy.

Speaker 1 24:10

I mean, it's terrible to say but it went, I don't even know. I mean, you want to joke about that, like sugar, to like blend up. I do want to yep.

Speaker 2 24:21

You're terrible To agave. Your world is melting.

Speaker 1 24:26

Oh God.

Speaker 2 24:27

I thought I got it wrong.

Speaker 1 24:31

What Not agave? Oh my God, this is terrible. I feel bad, but you know, honestly, I always kind of knew like in the back of my head I had to get it together and I think, in some ways, like my problem is, I've always had people that surround me take care of me. I've always provided, like you have a really good family, I have a family, I have a family, I have a family and you have great friends, exactly.

Speaker 2 24:59

I mean I even got to give you credit too.

Speaker 1 25:01

There's been a lot of times that I've been dependent on our relationship and you've even helped me out with like certain like business deals, like as an investor and like. I think that is where my weaknesses in this big issue breaking up. I was dependent on others. I was dependent on what you want to say, sugar daddy. That was not the case. They might have been 15 years older, but they were definitely. It was the case. You're terrible.

Speaker 1 25:36

Well, I didn't intend it. I was like, in this met, like in this world of like I'm, you know, I'm living in LA, I'm taking this like job from, like New York it's not a great paying job in LA, but like I'm not sure what I'm doing in LA but like how to transfer, was excited to really, like you know, work with the new agency. They started things started coming in. I was working at the bar, it was, you know, I was doing things on my own. However, when I met this ex, who was a best friend essentially and I still, to this day, want to call him a friend because I do too we've gone past like all the crazy nasty messages the last time.

Speaker 2 26:23

So does that mean that you won't read them?

Speaker 1 26:25

Do you want me to?

Speaker 2 26:27

I do.

Speaker 1 26:28

Out of privacy for them. I feel bad, but I'll read it.

Speaker 2 26:34

I think you should, I think we need to read the one to your colleagues.

Speaker 1 26:40

Okay, yeah, that was. That was pretty fucking dark. Oh damn, this was for my ex. To my two colleagues Okay for my previous job.

Speaker 1 26:54

Hey, ladies, just wanted to say thanks for reaching out to me when I'm at my lowest. I wondered if you would, as I thought we were actually friends, but I know now that you are both selfish assholes who happily use me in Vegas, just like so many others who suddenly aren't there for me now at my rock bottom. But good luck at your company. You made Ryan's life miserable for the last months. He would come home every night and feel bullied by your snide remarks and was so low as he too thought you were friends and realized you're not. You're not his friend, nor mine, and I cared about you both.

Speaker 1 27:39

Colleague 1, you're the lowest of the low, and your paranoia and overall insecurities led you down a path of despicable behavior and I stuck up for you. I thought we were a real bond, but you're full of dog shit. Whatever, I hope you both get karma. You deserve being dog shit and all Next time. People are nice and inclusive, don't treat them like garbage. You're both trash, quite frankly. I say that as a housewife joke, even though I feel you were actually trash for what you did to him and subsequently to me and our relationship. I'll be in touch with your supervisor very soon as he has all the facts. Glad I have all the company's contacts in my phone to let them know what phonies you both are.

Speaker 2 28:33

You know what? That is the lowest of the low to go after your colleagues. And the other thing I'd like to say is he thinks dog shit is an insult. I have three dogs and let me tell you their shit don't stink, you're so funny.

Speaker 1 28:50

It's just like what are you talking about? Dog shit.

Speaker 2 28:56

Are we in preschool?

Speaker 1 29:00

I don't even know what happened after that, because that's whenever me and you were together working and we were just like okay, it's time to block. I mean this is just toxic. I mean it was toxic since, like the end of the trip and you know, you might want to be on a family vacation and scream at an old lady and you might want to, like send a nasty group text message to my family's group chat and you might want to try to like. You know, my brother might have started the fight but, like he said a comment of your behavior saying you were trash, and then you want to go crazy and start, like it just felt so dark and so quickly dark, and then not to take the full accountability. It's almost like I'm sorry for my board behavior, but I was triggered by this, this and this. It was like you never want to take full accountability because you want to use excuses to why you behave that way.

Speaker 2 30:02

Now can you quickly, very quickly, touch on what happened with the old lady?

Speaker 1 30:07

So you know we are not only over my ex at the time on the trip getting too intoxicated and then getting a smoking violation on a balcony after I've told them numerous times we're in Maui, this is a nicer resort that does not allow smoking on the balcony. It says on the door no smoking will be found. And make a long story short the old lady. When we went to the elderly lady that sounds rude, old right, the elderly lady she might have been 75, was walking up the stairs to the restaurant. Now my brother's father-in-law, his wife's father, was on one side of the old lady and my ex was on the other side. They helped the old lady, almost as if she was going to fall, and she made a snide comment Well, if you guys weren't in the way, I wouldn't have had any issues falling.

Experiences, Breakups, and New Beginnings

Speaker 1 31:10

So instead of thanking these two gentlemen, my ex and my brother's father-in-law, this lady reacted like well, you shouldn't have been in the way, I wouldn't have had an issue, but you guys were in the way. So then my ex screams at this old lady and says ooh, you old fool. Who do you think you are? Bubble? It was just kind of really loud, obnoxious, unnecessary. I mean, have you ever heard of the term respect your elders?

Speaker 2 31:43

Yes.

Speaker 1 31:46

What Like. And then, to add to this craziness, it's in front of the whole hostess stand, the whole family. We're trying to go into a decently nice restaurant and the host comes over to me like I'm sorry, they are not welcome in here. There's no way that they and I of course I knew that they weren't gonna be welcome. When you create this huge scene yelling at an elderly lady, I mean I'm sorry she's allowed, like when you get that age, like you can kind of say whatever you want. And that's where the ex would not take the ownership or acknowledgement. They were like I don't care, they need to know how to behave, or I'm not, I don't care how old they. It was just like and this was a pattern that you saw over and over again, so you had to draw the line.

Speaker 1 32:37

Exactly.

Speaker 2 32:38

So bad? I've got some bad news for thong lovers Would you like to hear it? Yes, Okay, so who particles? They get, you know, on the thong and they travel. They can travel all the way up your back to your hairline.

Speaker 1 33:03

So that means that you just, if you're gonna put a thong on, just make sure that you clean yourself up.

Speaker 2 33:07

Yeah, maybe use them a day, take a shower beforehand. I mean that'll minimize the chances and make sure you wash your back.

Speaker 1 33:15

Get one of those back washers so you can actually wash your back because I feel like a lot of people they can't reach so they just don't wash it? No, they definitely don't. I mean, I know myself, sometimes I'll like forget to wash my feet, and that's another one.

Speaker 2 33:30

Maybe don't tell people that. Well, I mean you go in the shower. You're gonna get some toe suckers real interested right now.

Speaker 1 33:38

I mean, I don't know, did I ever tell you when I was like in New York going to the Hamptons, there was this med student on the train like cute med student. You know interesting. They got my contact because you know you exchange Instagrams. You don't wanna give them numbers yet or you don't wanna, I mean you know, vice versa. And then they send me a DM and it's like I'll Venmo you $100 if you send me a foot photo.

Speaker 2 34:04

Hell yeah, I'm like, give me his number.

Speaker 1 34:10

I was like I don't think this is gonna be a good relationship.

Speaker 2 34:16

Sounds like a great fit.

Speaker 1 34:18

You think so? I mean, would you have sent them?

Speaker 2 34:20

money. Oh, I would have sent the pictures.

Speaker 1 34:23

Yeah, we ended up doing it because it was just like okay, well, you send me the money first and then I'll send you. And they were dumb enough to send the money.

Speaker 2 34:31

Oh, did you not send the pic?

Speaker 1 34:33

Oh, we did. I just thought they're dumb enough. Like, what if I did just decide like, oh Blah, goodbye.

Speaker 2 34:40

That's funny.

Speaker 1 34:41

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:41

I like that.

Speaker 1 34:42

Do you have any interesting, weird things? That I mean, since you lived in Buford, South Carolina, San Diego, like Mississippi.

Speaker 2 34:52

You know, as a, do you have any weird ones? I probably do, but as a married lady, I think that it shielded me from the crazies. Mm-hmm, you know you just put the ring up and say uh-uh.

Speaker 1 35:09

You're such a good wife.

Speaker 2 35:11

Don't fuck with me Husbands in the military.

Speaker 1 35:16

He's a crazy one, he's a little crazy. Yeah, like in a good way, like protective. No, Kelly, I want to know a little bit more about your crazy breakups, Since I just like unloaded mine. You have to have something like nutty.

Speaker 2 35:33

Oh, I mean I, my life is not nearly as interesting as yours. I mean, my last breakup happened in 2000,. Whatever, I mean probably 14 years ago. I mean, like God, you are boring, yeah, I mean that was a hard one, though that was a really tough breakup.

Speaker 1 35:55

Yeah, and I think I'm pretty sure that that one became a cop.

Speaker 2 36:04

Well, the story is funny.

Speaker 1 36:07

Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 36:08

I mean I never would have known, but your dad told me. Right, yeah, he days ago, so there was a break in or there was an alarm that was going off on one of your dad's rental units, yes, and apparently my ex showed up on the scene and said hey, mr Frenkowski, is everything okay? So Steve had to me and Steve are super close. Yeah, he called me right away and told me about it and I was just like okay.

Speaker 1 36:39

Yeah, he's still thinking of you.

Speaker 2 36:41

Oh.

Speaker 1 36:42

Steve. Oh yeah, steve, we'll go with Steve. He loves you, my family adores you and your husband and I think that you know the real nice thing now is like it's kind of amazing to be able to work with like your best friend, somebody that you trust, somebody that you can laugh with about anything. I mean, we've definitely been able to kind of go through so many trials and tribulations and we do have that in common. It's like optimism, laughter and, as our last guest, dan, said, you just have to push through. And somebody has it harder than you. Somebody is getting, you know, an organ replaced or somebody is dealing with, like grieving, a loss and you just really have to kind of power through, because life does not give us always.

Speaker 2 37:31

We have that perspective.

Speaker 1 37:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2 37:34

We really do, and I think that's why sorry.

Speaker 1 37:37

I'm burping from the champagne. I know those bubbles will get you.

Speaker 2 37:42

Yeah, wait, what were we?

Speaker 1 37:46

talking about. Did you get a little bothered?

Speaker 2 37:50

I don't know. I think I am a little bothered right now.

Speaker 1 37:53

Oh my God, you're getting messy already You're making me talk about things.

Speaker 1 37:57

Oh my God, that you're not uncomfortable. Oh well, you know I get it Like. You do have probably less of an open book as me. Like, as much as I didn't want to divulge the ex's name, I do feel like it is important to talk about these difficult decisions and just these stories that we all have, because you don't know if somebody else is struggling through Break up, somebody's trying to drink less, somebody's trying to be more focused with a business or I don't know. I mean, I even think something that was really hard in my life was losing my grandmother, and I didn't even think of that being a difficult experience until you're actually in it.

Speaker 2 38:41

Yeah you know, using grandparents is almost as hard as losing parents right.

Speaker 1 38:47

Yeah because you might actually be closer with them, because they. I told my grandma Everything yeah, exactly, she had no judgment everything.

Speaker 2 38:58

I wouldn't tell my parents, I would tell her she was my best friend, and this was grandma Trudy right. Yeah, she's, she's still with us right, not, not mentally anymore. Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't know me anymore.

Speaker 1 39:14

She doesn't recognize me anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 2 39:17

I think she remembers like the little girl. Yeah what last time I went to visit her she thought I was my dad's girlfriend and that my daughter was our baby. And it's funny now, but I let me tell you I cried the whole way home.

Speaker 1 39:36

Oh, I know yeah to think about the times that you spent with your grandma and being so like I Mean she was such an interesting person. She sold real estate, she provided herself a great life and she always was cracking the jokes with us. She was not shy about being inappropriate.

Speaker 2 39:57

That's where I get it from. That's where I get my Appropriateness from and my shopping addiction. Oh my god, be careful, don't it's not a true addiction, but some might say it is.

Speaker 1 40:11

I think it is. I mean, I've seen so many baby clothes coming through your place. I'm like what?

Speaker 2 40:16

the problem now is the baby clothes. I just have to like, get them all the baby clothes.

Speaker 1 40:22

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess, to summarize a little bit about this new chapter in Pittsburgh, we're excited to really dive deep into the culture and we have a new appreciation for this city as adults.

Speaker 2 40:39

Yeah, so this is an unexpected venture for both of us.

Speaker 1 40:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2 40:44

I mean you, you had dabbled before yeah and when you came back in the podcast world. We just decided to do it, and yeah doing it now.

Speaker 1 40:54

Yeah, and I think too, it kind of was interesting to look at the photo that is the cover for the podcast. That was us that was just not thinking that this would kind of transpire into an actual so that was what 12 years ago 12 years ago, so there's a little bit of vintage behind it. We don't want to be totally love vintage.

Speaker 2 41:20

So it's all coming full circle now. Yeah and now I just have to lose the postpartum.

Speaker 1 41:27

Yes, wait and we're gonna recreate that photo and one last question I want to ask you. When you say postpartum, this is just for somebody like myself is very ignorant. You're not postpartum depressed. Your postpartum like just dealing with being a new mom again.

Speaker 2 41:46

Right. So I will say I did deal with postpartum depression with my first yes, because really bad.

Speaker 1 41:52

Yeah, because you mentioned that. And then whenever I was talking to my sister-in-law recently, she's like wait, ryan, I'm confused. Is she going through postpartum depression this time?

Speaker 2 42:01

No, okay, yeah and I know I can't tell you why it happened the first time and why it's not happening happening now but yeah, I have nightly anxiety attacks where I Couldn't breathe and I, every night I thought I'm gonna have to call an ambulance. Oh, my god, I could not get the air in and it happened. That went on for about three months and I think I should have just taken some medication and I did it, yeah and this time. I was prepared to just take the medication and I'm fine.

Speaker 1 42:35

Well, cheers to that yeah cheers. Thank you for opening up and Thank you for opening up. Well, yeah, I was reluctant, but I think you kind of bring out the best and your friends and family, and I feel more like Positive on now being at the other side of a breakup. So thank you for being an amazing friend and kind of continuing this journey with me.

Speaker 2 42:59

Cheers to that.

Speaker 1 43:00

Cheers baby. Love you.

Speaker 2 43:02

Love you All right guys.

Speaker 1 43:05

This is Ryan Frank off ski and.

Speaker 2 43:08

Kelly, miss Gorski.

Speaker 1 43:10

Thank you for listening to Mocktails are messy. What are you gonna be? A mocktail like myself, or a little messy With Kelly?