Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#11: Ryan puts Kelly in the Hot Seat
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As life throws curveballs, it's the candid stories that remind us we're not alone. Join Ryan & Kelly as they lift the veil on the personal journeys that define them, from the heartaches and joys of parenting to the freedom of embracing one's truth. This isn't just any heart-to-heart; it's a raw and real exploration of the pivotal moments that lead to self-discovery and the complexities of relationship dynamics. Ever wrestled with the decision to expand your family or found humor in impromptu choices? We've been there, and we're digging into these life-altering decisions with humor and honesty.
Picture this: You're navigating the maze of personal achievement, but the reflection staring back at you is tough to decipher. This episode peels back the layers, offering a glimpse into the challenging yet rewarding path of self-improvement and the importance of life coaching—accreditation price tag and all. Through the lens of Kelly's life as a coach, educator, and military spouse, she share the unique trials of solo parenting and the relentless pursuit of passion. Whether you're a dream chaser or a career shifter, there's a thread in this tapestry for you.
Ever considered the impact of mentors or your children's pearls of wisdom on your life's trajectory? As we wrap up, these influences take center stage, along with a deep dive into the fresh waters of a sobriety coaching career. It's about the dance of sacrifices and celebrations—the milestones of marriage, childbirth, and the profound lessons nestled within our failures. And because we all need a break from the serious, we'll have a laugh over pickleball discoveries and debate the virtues of mocktails for those times when family trumps indulgence. So, grab your favorite non-alcoholic concoction or traditional cocky, and let's embark on this journey of friendship, support, and personal growth together.
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
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Mocktails Are Messy
Speaker 1Hi, I'm Kelly Musgorski.
Speaker 2And this is Ryan Frankofsky.
Speaker 1And you're listening to. Mocktails Are Messy.
Speaker 2Kelly, I love this green on you.
Speaker 1Thank you. You actually grabbed this for me when you were out. You were doing God's work for me because. I'm a mom and I don't get out of the house much. Try shopping for clothes when you have two kids like crying in the background.
Speaker 2I don't know how you do it. I mean like one was a lot and now it's like damn two and like ryan's all over the map, or I guess, your husband's all over the map you know what?
Speaker 1it's a lot, but there's always somebody who has it worse, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2and I gotta say one thing that I will admit, gonna honest, I thought I wanted you to have that third one that you kind of did, but selfishly I'm like, no, I don't want to share her with any more kids.
Speaker 1I know, I know it's such a hard thing to say you're done right now. I'm like, yeah, I'm not having a third, but like tomorrow, yeah, you might think differently. I'm going to be questioning it all over again.
Speaker 2That is the thing that I love about you. You're always like, ah, maybe, maybe not, like you never know. You just kind of go with the wave of like how you're feeling that month, that week.
Speaker 1That second.
Speaker 2That second.
Speaker 1I'm so impulsive, it gets me into trouble. Oh yeah, impulsive, it gets me into trouble oh yeah, tell me a little bit about the last bit of trouble you got into.
Speaker 2Oh gosh, the last bit of trouble, I got into?
Speaker 1yes, it's been a while since I got into real trouble, is there? Is there a time that you are wanting me to mention?
Speaker 2well, I mean, you have always said that you get your way with your husband and I'm curious to hear about the last time that he was like no, kelly, no, you asked for something and then eventually he gave in oh no, he never tells me no, so I I don't.
Speaker 2Uh, yeah, sorry, I can't give you what you're fishing for there okay, so he's always accepting on whatever you decide or whatever you want or whatever's in your Not always initially Like he might say no and then I just work on him for a few days until he says yes.
Speaker 1I don't ever take no for an answer.
Speaker 2Oh wow, I know Well, now that you nabbed a good one, I'm definitely in the market, but I think I wanted to really kind of dabble in the girls again. I don't know what your thoughts are on that. I'm definitely feeling the girls. It's hot girl summer this summer.
Speaker 1It is, it's always hot girl summer.
Speaker 2It's just being like bisexual is always very difficult. I think you kind of know from like me explaining to you like it's just so many different options out there.
Speaker 1Well, it sounds actually like you always have a scapegoat, because, I mean, as a straight woman, I would be like I'm over it, I'm done. I don't want to talk to another guy. Yes like I'm I'm over it, I'm done. I don't want to talk to another guy.
Speaker 2Yes, but I didn't have, like you know, the chicks to go to. That I was interested in.
Speaker 1But if I did, I'd just, I'd just switch over. So yeah, I totally can see where you're coming from yeah, you know what I think some things that we talk about could be perceived as controversial. You don't have to agree with everything we say and you? Don't have to like everything we say.
Speaker 2Exactly. We speak our truths Dang. I like the sound of that. Well, speaking of our truths, today we are gravitating into the mocktail. It is my favorite drink when I was back in the day drinking. I'm a basic Carrie Bradshaw, cranberry, cosmo, crisp, bright Citrus. It's called Mingle Mocktails.
Speaker 1Was that your favorite?
Speaker 2It was actually I got it from my mom and then, like she even kind of was inspired by the Sex in the City show. Oh yeah, it's just like a staple Cosmo. I mean mean, don't get me wrong, like I've evolved into like appreciate the spicy margaritas, the non-elk, obviously, right now I have the white claw.
Speaker 1It's the vodka plus soda plus real juice. I've never had this before because I actually hate um watermelon stuff. Oh shit, it's the first watermelon drink I've had in probably 10 years that I like.
Speaker 2I knew I messed with you.
Speaker 1I didn't want to make you feel bad and say that, but you like it.
Speaker 2I do like this don't lie to me I, I promise you, I'm not lying. You know, I tell the truth okay, so wait, how do you know you like it if you just cracked it?
Speaker 1I'm not gonna say how.
Speaker 2She might have had one before we started. Cheers to mocktails are messy Cheers Kelly's going to be a little messy. I hope that you have fun with being messy, because you've actually divulged that you might want to take a little bit of a break from the booze.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And that wasn't me right, that wasn't me pushing.
Speaker 1No, you've never pushed it on me. Sometimes I just don't feel like it's serving me, Like tonight. I'm going to have fun.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But then I'm going to go home and take care of the kids.
Speaker 2I can't even imagine Like I see you and how busy you are with the kids. I'm like this is real, Like you are an adult.
Speaker 1I don't feel like an adult. I never will isn't that funny I'm a young-hearted person I've always been kind of immature, I think for my age it doesn't matter what stage of life I'm in, I just always am a little bit immature but that's what I like about you, because I'm still a big kid.
Speaker 2I mean, we divulge about the peter pan effect with fernando, don't you love him?
Speaker 1I love him.
Speaker 2It was so nice to meet him yeah, I mean I feel that that peter pan effect of not wanting to I didn't really explain it, but not wanting to grow up, it's very relatable to me and you you don't have to grow up, listen here's.
Speaker 1Here's what I do. I will never let my kids down. I'll never be late to picking up my daughter. I mean, unless there's an emergency, I will never be late dropping her off at preschool. Um, I will never let her down. I don't know if that's me being an adult or me just caring so much.
Speaker 2Yeah, you're just always been that kind of friend, daughter, now mother. You are super empathetic. You really check in on those people that you share the bond with. So as a mother, it's no different being an empath is so painful though I know I've heard from you you're not an empath is that bad? I don't know. Is that a bad thing?
Speaker 1no, I think if we were both empaths, we would not have a good business relationship. Yeah, because we'd just be like oh my gosh, are you okay? Right are you okay? Like every second, we'd be worried about each other and I need someone who doesn't worry about me yeah and um, it just makes it a little more light-hearted now do you think me?
Speaker 2not being an empath is kind of selfish I've never thought that because, you're not, you are selfish I'm gonna admit to that.
Self-Reflection and Life Coaching Perspective
Speaker 1I'm going to admit, but you notice, you catch yourself yeah and even if you don't make it right, like that day, maybe like a couple weeks later, you do oh, this episode.
Speaker 2I'm gonna be asking you some hot questions. I want to get you, you know, open you up. I know it's going to be rough right now. You know you're going to have to answer a lot of questions that you do not want to open up about.
Speaker 1Okay, I'm ready, let's do it.
Speaker 2Okay, kelly, what's one thing in your life that you are doing wrong right now that you could fix and you would fix, but you're not holy shit.
Speaker 1I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I don't think that anything is really a mistake, but I have goals that I've been trying to work towards and I keep failing time and time again because I'm not willing to put in the work that was a good answer because I like how you introed.
Speaker 2I'm not doing anything wrong. I believe that you're doing the best things that you can right now, given the circumstances in this new baby right.
Speaker 1I, I think, for me, I'm not doing anything wrong for me. Now, if somebody said like I'm upset with you, you're doing this wrong, I would take that into consideration and that's when I would do some reflection and maybe change.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So I don't know, is there something that you think I could do better?
Speaker 2No, honestly, I think that, given the new circumstances new location, new baby, two of them, your husband's not always home. You got a new business the podcast. You're doing so much and I want to commend you on that, Thank you. But I only ask that because everybody is in their heads and I feel that I could probably say like, oh, I'm doing like five things wrong that I want to fix, but I can't really identify. It's kind of something that you would have to think about overnight to kind of really understand. Like what are those habits that I could improve?
Speaker 1Like you said, yeah, exactly yeah, and it's been hard. Yeah, exactly yeah, and it's been hard. My husband was away on military orders for the last 20 days, essentially, so it has been difficult caring for the kids by myself. Yeah, I mean it gives you an understanding of what it's like to be a single mother in some degree, in some degree and I've thought about that.
Speaker 2People have said that before and I'm like, actually I have no fucking idea what it's like to be a single mother in some degree in some degree, and I've thought about that.
Speaker 1People have said that before and I'm like, actually I have no fucking idea what it's like to be a single mother, because I'm not having to make ends meet right per se like that's a good.
Speaker 2Okay, I take that back.
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly I just want to put that out there, because people try to like say that all the time but it's just not, that's not valid.
Speaker 2No, no, and cheers to you bringing that up. But so some people don't know this about you, but you've been a life coach, being a military wife traveling all over the United States, being there as a support system for other wives that have moved into this new you know community, if you will, and then, on top of it, you know, your education is in you know teaching. So, like with that, being a life coach and really going through so many different experiences, moving around the country, creating a new community each time, what would you if you had to put a price on it? If you were in my shoes who wanted to take a life coach accreditation program with Jay Shetty? Best-selling author. Motivational speaker. Award-winning podcast host. Speaker. Award-winning podcast host what price tag would you put on a life coach?
Speaker 1accreditation program through Jay Shetty. You know what? I don't think you can put a price on something that you're very passionate about. If the credentials are very good and qualifying, I'd probably throw like $10,000 at that.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1If you're really serious about it and you really want to do it, I would.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think it's just give me your advice on this as much as I want to do this program for being like a sober, curious mentor, sober sobriety coach, because you know, I'm only in this for two months so I can't really say that I'm an expert on it, but I'm very passionate about it and I have been passionate about it for many years and have gone in and out. So for me to take this to the next level with this accreditation programs, that is recognized, do I commit to that or is this another? Oh, I want to do this, I want to do this. It's like I feel like I'm kind of all over the map.
Speaker 1Yeah, and you've always been that way, and I'm exactly the same way as you. But I think that this is in line with what we are trying to do.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So I would say go for it.
Speaker 2All right, just find that, find the funds.
Speaker 1So how much is it? You didn't say.
Speaker 2It's 7,600.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean you do have to interview to get in. So I had the first initial interview. So in a couple of days I'll hear back. We'll see what happens.
Speaker 1I'm such a fan of Jay Shetty, so I think that the information would be very valuable.
Speaker 2Well, I'm glad that you are on board with it. Why do you think you haven't been able to commit to a career that?
Speaker 1well, I hate playing the blame game, but I'm going to play the blame game right now. Moved seven times in the last 10 years.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1Uh, actually I think eight now.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So I've had to first get people to hire me, even though they can look at my resume and see that I'm not around long.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1Um, and I put so much work and effort into it, and then I have to leave.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So I don't know that it's been a commitment issue for me as far as work goes. I think I've been committed to my husband.
Speaker 2Right, and that is a commitment.
Speaker 1Yeah, I committed to him and I've followed him around for his career.
Speaker 2And I look up to you guys. I want to find that special someone or something, whether it be a career, a spouse. I mean him himself. He didn't choose to be traveling all over the world.
Speaker 1Yeah, well, he kind of did and we talked about it and it sounded like an interesting life and I did have a lot of excitement for it and I never lost that excitement. But I did always have to put my career on the back burner and you know that's part of the reason that we have moved home to Pittsburgh. We're not going to move again.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1So I have to like get it out of my head now.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1That like I'm on the back burner because I'm not anymore. No, I that, like I'm on the back burner because I'm not anymore. No, I don't have to leave again, thank God. Yeah, I'm so excited. Thank you for bringing that up.
Speaker 2I didn't. I didn't bring that up to be shady, I know myself. I mean, look at me, how many careers have I been on? And I don't have the military spouse that you do forcing me to go anywhere. I'm just like trying to figure it out. But tell me about a time you felt the most joy and excitement. Was it a trip? Was it an event? Was it a feat, an accomplishment?
Speaker 1Yeah, so there's a few that it's so corny, but probably my wedding day and then the two times that I gave birth.
Speaker 2Your wedding day was magical. Yeah, I mean, I didn't see the birth, but I'm sure that was just as exciting.
Speaker 1We should have filmed it.
Speaker 2Was it hilarious.
Speaker 1It was pretty gory, very gruesome, oh my.
Speaker 2God, what was your biggest failure to date and what did you learn from it?
Speaker 1I don't know if I'm ready to open up about it.
Speaker 2Okay, well, we can postpone it. Who are three people that are very influential to you?
Speaker 1Okay, honestly, you are one of them.
Speaker 2Really. Yes, yeah, you've always just followed your heart and you make you don't have to say that things happen.
Speaker 1No, I'm not just saying that. Um, you are influential to me, my old boss. Uh, when I worked at earth fit and Buford, South Carolina, and why were they? Um, he kind of was like a mentor for me. Yes, um he invested in you invested in me and I'll never forget how that feels. I learned a lot. And the third is probably my three-year-old daughter. She teaches me so much every day.
Speaker 2That is so cute.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I love her. I mean, she's like a little genius brainiac. And I know everybody says that about their child. But like you can tell, because me and you were like the B students, yeah, like she seems like a, like a brainiac.
Speaker 1I think what it is is that kids are just a lot more intelligent than people expect them to be.
Speaker 2Well, that was pretty good. What question would you have asked yourself if you were in my shoes asking these questions right now? Say you were Ryan right now.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2What would you want to ask Kelly?
Speaker 1Nothing, I'm trying.
Speaker 2You're good at this. You're the question girl Always. You're like get me my notes. Let me look at my phone.
Speaker 1How much more time do we have here?
Financial Budgeting and Parenting Advice
Speaker 2I'm done being in the hot seat. Oh my God, you love being in the hot seat. Get me out of the hot seat. Okay, let me ask you a financial question.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2Do you have a monthly budget strategy?
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Apparently, 50% needs to be fixed as your mortgage, your rent, and then you know those fixed costs such as, like car payment. All that needs to be in that 50% chunk. But like we're talking about all fixed costs, like all subscriptions, everything that is coming in, so 50%.
Speaker 1Okay, so maybe like a car payment too. Yeah, okay, car mortgage living groceries all that.
Speaker 2And then apparently five to 10% needs to be in savings, five to 10% needs to be in investments, and then 10 to 30% is fuck you money.
Speaker 1And when I say fuck you money is like you know, I'd say that that's in line with, like what?
Speaker 2we try to do.
Speaker 1Like I'm not the one that makes up those rules or follows them.
Speaker 2You're a little bit more of the spender right.
Speaker 1I just am not good with numbers.
Speaker 2Yeah, I know you have so many strengths that you right now feel like you are kind of in this like quicksand of a place that you want to get out there more and try to like utilize, as you know, out there more and try to like utilize, as you know, a life coach, as a trainer, as you know, somebody that really is focused on helping others and I think, as a mother, it's tricky because you want to give your kids the best life.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm just always helping them I never, even have time to help myself most of the time, but I do have a passion for helping people.
Speaker 2Yeah, maybe get some more. You know childcare and be able to utilize those strengths.
Speaker 1Let's do it.
Speaker 2Thank you, Kelly, for opening.
Speaker 1Oh, you got a little on there Wrong pipe, here I am getting messy.
Speaker 2Thank you so much for getting messy with me today. I really appreciate your friendship and I think that you're gonna definitely do some interesting things in this year you are too, but let's do it together. All right, we're gonna do it together.
Speaker 1Cheers thank you for listening to.
Speaker 2Mocktails are messy with ryan frank Frankofsky and.
Speaker 1Kelly Mazgorski Cheers.
Speaker 2What's your favorite tool that you have used as a mother?
Speaker 1My vibrator.
Speaker 2You're so nice. Can I just tell you I went to play pickleball yesterday and I saw a vibrator on the ground, did you?
Speaker 1Yeah, it fell out of somebody's panties? I don't know. Oh my gosh, was it one of the remote control ones?
Speaker 2It was a little one and I'm like what the Ah, oh my God, okay.
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