Mocktails Or Messy
Kati Nairn: @Beyond_Gray The Home Expert, from Decorating ➡️ Cleaning | EP17
Kati Nairn, the creative force behind IG: @Beyond_Gray, joins us for a heartfelt journey through her life's tapestry of design and social media influence. With her down-to-earth spirit, she peels back the curtain on crafting beautiful living spaces without breaking the bank, and how she tackles the rollercoaster of renovation & love + criticism in the digital world. Her story is a testament to the delicate dance between professional aspirations and personal growth, all while nurturing a community of décor devotees and promoting a balanced lifestyle.
Sipping on mocktails and sharing laughs, we traverse Katie's evolution from insurance professional to brand builder, Beyond Gray, reveals a path marked by adaptability and the pursuit of passion. The heart of our discussion beats to the rhythm of authenticity, as we celebrate the power of individuality in home décor and the therapeutic magic found in the simplicity of cleaning. Katie's approach to online negativity and her unwavering positivity shine through, offering insights on cultivating a welcoming & safe online space for all.
Wrapping up with a blend of light-hearted anecdotes and profound reflections, we explore the evolving dynamics of influencer marketing, the delight of cherished hobbies, and the importance of compassion in every interaction. From the depths of Instagram's algorithm to the personal tales behind whiskey collections, Katie's presence radiates warmth and wisdom. Her dedication to creating a serene digital haven garners accolades, and we raise our glasses to the joy and inspiration she brings to her followers, one safe and engaging post at a time.
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
IG: @mocktailsormessy | TikTok: @mockmess
Watch | YouTube Mocktails Or Messy
Listen | Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Featured | #11 of Best Local Podcasts: FeedSpot
Kati Nairn, the creative force behind IG: @Beyond_Gray, joins us for a heartfelt journey through her life's tapestry of design and social media influence. With her down-to-earth spirit, she peels back the curtain on crafting beautiful living spaces without breaking the bank, and how she tackles the rollercoaster of renovation & love + criticism in the digital world. Her story is a testament to the delicate dance between professional aspirations and personal growth, all while nurturing a community of décor devotees and promoting a balanced lifestyle.
Sipping on mocktails and sharing laughs, we traverse Katie's evolution from insurance professional to brand builder, Beyond Gray, reveals a path marked by adaptability and the pursuit of passion. The heart of our discussion beats to the rhythm of authenticity, as we celebrate the power of individuality in home décor and the therapeutic magic found in the simplicity of cleaning. Katie's approach to online negativity and her unwavering positivity shine through, offering insights on cultivating a welcoming & safe online space for all.
Wrapping up with a blend of light-hearted anecdotes and profound reflections, we explore the evolving dynamics of influencer marketing, the delight of cherished hobbies, and the importance of compassion in every interaction. From the depths of Instagram's algorithm to the personal tales behind whiskey collections, Katie's presence radiates warmth and wisdom. Her dedication to creating a serene digital haven garners accolades, and we raise our glasses to the joy and inspiration she brings to her followers, one safe and engaging post at a time.
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
IG: @mocktailsormessy | TikTok: @mockmess
Watch | YouTube Mocktails Or Messy
Listen | Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Featured | #11 of Best Local Podcasts: FeedSpot
Hi, this is Kelly Musgorski. Ryan Frankofsky and you're listening to Mocktails or Messy?
Speaker 2:Today we have Katie Nairn, also known as at beyond underscore gray, and that's G-R-A-Y. We have an influencer in the house, a DIYer, a mother of two, a house, a DIYer, a mother of two. What?
Speaker 3:else can we add to that long list of positions, jobs, titles? I mean I would say Christmas decorator, obsessed seasonal decorating, I mean there's so many things.
Speaker 2:Cleaning expert, I mean, there's so many things.
Speaker 3:Cleaning expert yes, I started sharing my cleaning and that's been really successful.
Speaker 1:I love your cleaning videos yeah.
Speaker 2:Like they are, like life changing whenever you consider like all these little details in your house and your home is outstanding, it's beautiful. Did you design it?
Speaker 3:We didn't design it. I mean, we bought the plans but then we picked out like the finishes and things like that.
Speaker 2:Yes, because Kelly recently did a renovation and it was a lot of work.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, It'll test the limits. It sure did, mainly the marriage limits.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, and mainly for us. It was because, like, it's hard to stay within a budget.
Speaker 3:It's very hard.
Speaker 3:You think it's going to be one thing and it's just the B word. Nobody likes it, but but you know you have to stay within budget. That can be really challenging, although you know I feel like today there are we're almost fortunate in the sense that we have access to so many different retailers, so many different price points. I think that's one of the nice things about maybe social media or just like the internet in general, is that generally if you find something really expensive that you love, chances are somebody made a look for less version.
Speaker 3:I love the d find it yes, so that is really nice that you can shop at different price points or, like, achieve a look without maybe going to the high end of the of the price point, and that's been, you know, really great for for you know, people who want to do things to their homes or shop or whatever, and can't or don't want to spend top dollar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder do you get any criticism ever for like shopping at these, like you know, Walmart, Amazon.
Speaker 3:I get criticism either way, all right.
Speaker 3:If I, if I buy something that's too expensive, I'll be criticized for that. If I shop at Walmart, I'll be criticized for that. So, basically, what we have to do is just like whatever we want. I mean, that's the bottom line, and I think, too, you kind of have to understand people. I think, too, you kind of have to understand people, and that's something that I've actually, over the past couple of years, I've actually really like read up on understanding people, because criticism is going to happen.
Speaker 3:I think you know that quote. It says you can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, and there's always going to be someone who doesn't like peaches. And I really I actually have a Pinterest quote board. This is sounds so probably cringy, but I have a Pinterest quote board. It's like life quotes and sometimes the criticism, and I don't know that I get a ton of it, but I do get it. I think pretty much anyone who's putting themselves out there on on the internet, you're going to get criticism. And if I'm really kind of reached my limit with it, I actually go through my Pinterest quote board and I'll read those quotes and they just like put everything into perspective and then I'm usually good, I'm reset, I'm good to go. But yeah, so I don't know.
Speaker 3:I guess I shop at different price points. I shop big, I shop small, and I think a lot of people do, meaning a lot of people when I say I shop big. You know, I shop at big retailers and I like to shop at small businesses, and I think that probably a lot of people are like that yeah, you're going to run into Target or Walmart for something, but guess what? You're probably also going to love that boutique that's on the corner in your town. So I try to share not only different price points, but I do try to share different businesses as well.
Speaker 1:I do like that because I feel like some influencers are a little bit more pretentious and their looks and their styles are almost like unattainable. Like they share a link and you click on it. It's like what $2,000 for this? Like dinner plate? Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 3:Yeah and um, I I'm particular, like I love a splurge, but I'm particular about what I'll splurge on and I've learned that about myself and I've actually learned that the hard way, where I've spent money on something and then I'm like this isn't really as great as I thought it would be you know.
Speaker 3:So, um, I think it's okay to splurge if it's something that you love, but I think for everyday stuff I like to be reasonable, Um kind of with like fashion, like I tend to not want to spend a ton of money on clothing Not that I won't buy like a nice pair of jeans or something, but I can find value in, maybe the accessories because, I get so much longevity out of them.
Speaker 3:And it's the same thing with my home. If it's kind of a trend, I really will not want to spend money on that, or if it's a home accessory I'll be okay. But if it's maybe something that's going to be a little bit more permanent in the home, then maybe I might be willing to splurge, because maybe that's going to be a more permanent fixture of some sort.
Speaker 2:Right, right, what's your?
Speaker 3:last biggest splurge.
Speaker 2:I A handbag oh of course, yeah, yeah, was it a Louis? Yeah, oh shit, she's got it here today.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's cute.
Speaker 2:That fits you well, that does.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I actually bought it for myself for my birthday. Oh, that's cute, that fits you well, that does. Thank you, I actually bought it for myself for my birthday.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's the best way to do it.
Speaker 1:Well, happy birthday. Thank you, it was yesterday oh my God Happy birthday.
Speaker 2:Can we cheers? Yes, we can cheers, okay, yes, cheers, cheers to Katie, thank you for coming on. Mocktails are Messy.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 2:This is your mocktail of choice. You want to give us a little rundown.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so um, it's a mocktail, a cosmopolitan mocktail. I need to take a little sip to see how you did.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know one thing I actually have to say I put a little bit less lime. I'm almost thinking the next batch we might have to increase the line. It's increase the lawn. It's really good. Oh, you dig it. Okay, I love it. Yeah, so tell me your little like you mentioned to me earlier when we were discussing off camera. You know, I don't think kelly likes that. You mentioned that you're kind of interested in the mocktails mainly just because you don't like the way you feel the next day yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 3:So it was actually, I feel, like such interesting timing when I met both of you at the cohort.
Speaker 3:Because, I have kind of noticed as I'm getting older that I'm not as into alcohol Not that I was ever, you know, really into it, but you know what I'm saying and I kind of started realizing it makes me feel like garbage. I mean, I just, is it age, is it? I don't know, but I don't feel great the next day. And I'm not even talking about like drinking a lot, sometimes it's just like two cocktails can really like affect me the next day and started realizing, you know, I think it's more about the like, the vibe of holding the glass, like, the what like. Sometimes I've I started realizing if I just fill up a wine glass with a mocktail, right guess what I actually am feeling the same Right.
Speaker 3:Guess what I actually am feeling the same decompression, Like oh, I can just relax and have a. I was like, OK, there's something to this Right. Like the mocktail is giving me the same. Let's relax, let's have good conversation, let's chill. I'm getting the same thing out of that than if there was actually alcohol in the glass. And guess what? I feel great the next day. Not that I don't love a cocktail.
Speaker 1:I do.
Speaker 3:I mean, I just posted yesterday for PA Wine and Spirits. Oh yeah, that looks really good. The Bacardi one right it was, yeah, the tropical rum smash. It was so good but I love it. But I've just kind of noticed I'm way more particular about when I want to have alcohol. Being particular is so big yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm right there with you now I think it's becoming a mother was part of it for me. I'm just like I'm cutting back by 80% now and just being more particular. It used to be like you know, whenever I'll just grab a cocktail any night of the week and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3:But it matters now it matters and yeah, I just I feel better. So, like I said, it's not that I'm not drinking, it's I never. I couldn't even tell you, like the last time I was drunk. I'm not that person, but I do love, like let's have a cocktail and one or two or like sometimes three and like depending on the night, you know, but still I've just kind of it's something I've noticed with the mocktails like wow, I feel just as great yeah, holding a fancy glass and it almost doesn't matter well, you know, that's our mission.
Speaker 2:behind the mocktails or messy, we've always kind of said, like you, really, even if you incorporate like cocktail with a mocktail, cocktail, mocktail, you really just feel so much better. Because we were party animals before her kids and even me, like you know, living in LA and New York, it's just like it was such a big party scene and I'm sure even Pittsburgh, I guess every city has that party scene. And when you're younger, single, don't have kids, even if you're in a relationship with somebody that is a drinker, you kind of want to keep up with each other or that's just your maybe hobby.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's like how people connect to. It's like we're going to connect over a cocktail. But I don't know it's interesting. We're to connect over cocktails, but I don't know it's interesting.
Speaker 2:We're connecting over mocktails. Yeah, and it's just as good.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know, katie, I'd like to hear a little bit about your background. Are you born and raised in Pittsburgh and where did you go to school and all that?
Speaker 3:So I was actually born in New Orleans, oh yes, Nola. Yeah, I'm like a hundred percent french. Oh my god, like both sets of grandparents on both my mom and my dad's side spoke like fluent french in the house do you feel more elevated and sophisticated? Yes, um well as my husband.
Speaker 2:So my husband is um irish and yeah, you know they're like irish people like love to talk about how they're irish oh my god, I am irish and she is, but like our relatives, yes you're more irish and you never shut up about it see exactly exactly, but um.
Speaker 3:So in pittsburgh I went to North Allegheny High School.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, Right down the road from us, Pine Richland. Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 3:Actually, I mean basically the same area. I mean basically, and yeah, so grew up in Wexford and went to NA.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:But I feel like Pittsburgh is home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's like even us. We lived in other cities for 10 years and now we're back to Pittsburgh. We love it. I feel like it's changed so much since we were kids and now I feel like I can't imagine not having at least home base here with the family and everything.
Speaker 3:Right, it's a great place to, I think, put roots down in. Pittsburgh. It's a beautiful city and lots of great restaurants and things to do and sports teams, although I'm not like really into sports, so I'm more of like a yay sports appetizers for, like you know, Superbowl Sunday. Right, I'm here for the snacks. Yeah, me too. I think that needs to be on a t-shirt. I'm here for the snacks.
Speaker 2:I think that needs to be on a t-shirt. I'm here for the snacks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so actually I'm pretty sure. So my girlfriend Carrie. She owns a store, so I live in Beaver.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And she has this boutique called Beavetown. I totally have to give her a plug right now because she has a super creative brain and she does like Pittsburgh-based t-shirts and stuff. She has a super creative brain and she does like Pittsburgh based t-shirts and stuff, but all of her lingo and everything is really it's not like your average, like Pittsburgh Steelers. You know it's got like. She's got like these cool sayings and everything. But I'm pretty sure around the Superbowl I'm pretty sure she had a t-shirt that she made and had in her shop that said here for the snacks.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I think.
Speaker 1:We're going to going to check it out. Yeah, sounds like my kind of place. It's called Beef Town. Beef Town.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:Beef yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, I should remember that. Yes, I went to Penn State Beaver Stadium.
Speaker 1:Yeah, beef Town.
Speaker 2:So then, after you kind of moved to Beaver, you established this influencer business. What were you doing before you became Beyond?
Speaker 3:Gray. Well, so I actually have worked like in the corporate world for.
Speaker 3:I was with the same company for 16 years and I was actually an independent contractor with them, so I wasn't an employee, um, and it was in the insurance business and I had worked for this company for, like I said, I was contracted with them for about 16 years and had a lot of flexibility. You know, when you're like a 1099 contractor, you're not tied to. You know nine to five job and but you're working. But you know you've you're not held like the same employee standards. You've you're not held like the same employee standards. Um, so my husband is from beaver and that's kind of why we ended up in beaver and we had a house in beaver and then decided to build a new house, which is the house we're in now, and we wanted to. I wanted to document the build process. We had friends and family that were like, oh my, my gosh, you're building a new house.
Speaker 3:We want to see and it was a custom build, which made it like a little bit different and we just had some people in our lives that wanted to, like, follow the journey or the process of building, and I didn't want to share that on my Facebook page because, honestly, like, not everyone wants to see that, not everyone's interested in like what you're doing or what you're building you know it's yeah so I decided to just start a separate Instagram account solely for that purpose of documenting the build process and like seeing it from the ground up.
Speaker 3:and it was a public page and it was opened to people that we knew, but also open to anyone that wanted to follow along, and that's kind of how it started. So initially it was just a lot of carpentry and not really pretty pictures but showing the process. And then after that it was like, well, now I have to decorate this house.
Speaker 3:And there's been a lot of trial and error with that and that's really where it evolved Like. The natural progression was like well, we're done building. Well, now what do we do with it? How do we, how do I decorate this? And one thing that I kind of wanted to share with everyone was like I'm not a professional, clearly, because I've made a lot of, I take risks, I'm not afraid of pattern or color, you know and and I am the person who, like, has bought things, and then like oh my gosh, I hate it, you know.
Speaker 3:but I and we can all relate to that yeah, and you know, not everyone is going to hire an interior designer right there is a market for that and um, they are qualified and they're gonna make sure that you're not making those mistakes you know but a lot of people, I think, are maybe like me in the sense that I want my home to look nice, but I need to be able to do it with the resources that I have available to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Which are the access to retail stores, what's on the shelf, in a sense, that I can use. How can I piece this together myself? And that's kind of what I did and how I was sharing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It was like this isn't a professional. This is someone who, just like, loves their home and is taking pride in their home and wants it to look nice. And how do I do that? As just a consumer.
Speaker 1:I think it's interesting because on our phone conversation you said that some people ask you for design help and that you don't see yourself as a designer, which is interesting to us because we look at your page and we see you as a designer.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you. And I definitely have had people who are like can I hire you to help me with my home? And the first thing I say to them is I'm not a professional. I actually have zero point0 qualification to do that for you.
Speaker 2:And there are professionals out there that know what they're doing and know how to help you and have like a very streamlined process and formality to the whole thing and you really should reach out to them like I'm flattered, yes, but I'm not the person who has like the qualification to be able to do that for you well, I know, like her uh cousin who's a designer, who did her home, and even me who studied to get their design certification, and I feel like I really appreciate that being said, because, as somebody who looks at themselves as like a junior professional, it is hard to like kind of navigate that when you have a client that's like, well, I want to do this, this, this, this, this. I'm like well then, maybe you shouldn't hire me, or do you just need a project manager?
Speaker 2:Yeah project manager or just somebody that can source it for you like an assistant, because there are a lot of people that definitely do kind of just throw it all in their home Decorating. It doesn't look great. But hey, who are we to say what looks great if you're happy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know that's big picture on on Instagram is that, um, I I really wish a lot of people could kind of see exactly what you just said, which is like, in the end, it's your home, it should be a reflection of you and you should love it. And as long as you love it, that is all that matters. It doesn't matter what's in style, what's out of style. If you love it, it is always going to be in style for you. And, um, I think we also, as people who get to look at other people's homes on the internet, we have to also understand too that, like, everybody's got their own style and we shouldn't all really fit into like one box yes you know, just because maybe like studio mcgee at target is like sells, you know sells a ton of product when they have a new release, that doesn't mean that your home should look like studio mcgee at target and that
Speaker 3:is. If that is not who you are and if that is not your style, it is okay to go a different route. You know, there is nothing wrong with that style. It's just that I think that it's easy for the consumer to get trained to think that is what my home is supposed to look like, that is the style it's supposed to be, and I'm always like, but like is that a reflection of you, though?
Speaker 2:um, they're just like mirroring, like a catalog or like a photograph or whatever it may be, like an important message, though.
Speaker 1:Like people need to hear that I had a friend growing up and her mom would repaint her house every year because, like every year, there's a new color that's in, and like I was just like, oh my gosh, that's a lot of work um and money and time right and it's just. I think that everybody's like trying to keep up with the joneses not everybody, but a lot of people do yeah and I know like it sounds like you don't think about like fads and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:You just go with, like your heart. I actually tend to shy away from trends and I don't know if that's just because, like, I don't like doing what everyone else is doing. I've been like that my whole life, yeah.
Speaker 2:Even though you look very like fashionable right now, thanks. So maybe not style like clothing, but definitely with home.
Speaker 3:Well, and clothing is a lower commitment.
Speaker 2:Yes, right, yes.
Speaker 3:We can take a chance on a look with clothing. It is it's truly not like normal to switch out things in your home as often as maybe I do or what you're seeing like home decor influencers doing yes, I try to remember like that is not normal.
Speaker 1:I need to hear that, though I do.
Speaker 2:It is not, you know. Well, that's why I mean not to interrupt you, but I want you to finish your statement. But I thought to myself I'm like. She's buying these you know, amazon, walmart because she loves a switch.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love a switch.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm thinking, because I'm like you probably have the lifestyle where you could afford, like you know, some higher end things, but I think you just love a switch. But I think you just love a switch.
Speaker 3:I am someone like you.
Speaker 2:Dangle a piece of wallpaper in front of me and.
Speaker 3:I love it. I'm ready to redo an entire room over a piece of wallpaper. I'm like I need it. I love the pattern.
Speaker 2:And it's a horrible trait to have, but I am trying to settle in a little bit more.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to, you know, like calm down, and I realized that a lot of the switching out that I did for a while was truly because I was trying to find my way. I am someone who likes a lot of different things. I like different colors, I like different styles, I like different patterns and I'm trying to say, okay, but let's just be a little bit more cohesive, let's settle into something and let's focus on maybe working in those things that I love those extra colors into accents that are easy to switch out and lower priced, less commitment.
Speaker 3:You throw pillows, throw blankets, like you know, things like that, and that is a little bit more reasonable, but also like you have to remember when you're seeing people on and you know, I heard an interior designer say this and it really stuck with me and she said you know, one of the bad things that social media has done for like the home decor space is that things are having a smaller shelf life or shorter shelf life Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's because we're almost getting obsessed with, like, the latest and greatest thing, or the latest and greatest color palette or, you know, pattern, and it's almost starting to normalize, like switching out light fixtures.
Speaker 2:And I mean, yeah, like growing up. I mean yeah, I think about like growing up.
Speaker 3:I mean if my parents got like a new couch, it was big news. I mean, what our sofas in our house? I mean they had them for like 20 oh yeah, I don't think anything was switched out in 20 years?
Speaker 1:never, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean never, and now that is kind of the downside is like you're seeing a lot of people Well, I don't believe I really switch out furniture. No, I mean we've updated some of our old furniture, but you're seeing some of these accounts I mean at rapid pace, new light fixtures constantly, or new furniture, I mean like big items, and we've got to kind of remember these are businesses for a lot of accounts.
Speaker 3:And it is their job to show you new things and to give you ideas, but you shouldn't feel like I'm supposed to be switching out these things all the time.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 3:You've got to kind of compartmentalize.
Speaker 2:This is still a business for for many of us so you having your business, did you kind of expect it to grow into a profitable beyond gray instagram account?
Speaker 3:I never thought I would be where I am right now right but, um, I did I remember, you did I remember, you know, when I first started out or I first started the account. You know, my husband was really just not into it, Like truthfully, like we're actually pretty private people you know, I mean we're like.
Speaker 3:You know we're not like over shares. You know we kind of like like our, like our living in our little like bubble of privacy. But when you have a hobby, like you like to decorate, or you know whatever your hobby is, we all have different hobbies. Um, it's kind of. For me it was like this is kind of fun finding a community of people who also like to decorate or who also love, and again you, you're.
Speaker 3:That's kind of what you're looking for is like you're building this little community of people who have interests like you, and at first my husband was like I just don't understand this and like it feels kind of invasive, and I respect that.
Speaker 3:And but I remember saying to him because I don't think he understood at the time what I was doing or why I was doing this, and I don't even know if I understood where it would go but I said to him you wait, I I'll never forget, cause we were in our driveway and at the new house.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I said to him you just wait, I will make money from this one day. And um, and he, you know, he was like okay, you know, or whatever. But um, now, at the time I thought like I'm going to make like a few hundred bucks you know, like that was like my goal, like pay for some stuff. Yeah, I, I don't think I ever envisioned it to actually be like a viable business, which is pretty cool. Um, I will say like the creative part of it for me is what comes first.
Speaker 3:It's just how my brain works, like I love thinking of new ideas and decorating things, and decorating my porch a different way, or like Christmas decorating trees in a different way you know. But like the second part of it is that it is actually a business. But I do kind of put that secondary oh good. And even when I'm like creating content, I'm really not creating it with the intent of like a certain outcome. I'm creating to share, because I want to share this.
Speaker 2:That's good advice.
Speaker 3:I have found that when you're kind of leading with your creativity and you're leading because you just want to share something that you're doing or creating or just whatever it is that mentality, I feel like it serves you very well. I think if you're leading with a monetary mentality, I think it clouds your creativity.
Speaker 2:I think it clouds your creativity. Yeah, and I think it showcases in your page, because just the way that you are in your voice and like you're so passionate about these, like nerdy cleaning things- and I love it.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like you kind of take this as a compliment. But like as an engineer, I love that nerdiness. It kind of shows because who really cares sometimes about cleaning if they just have a cleaning lady? But you're like it's therapeutic to you. You discuss that. I mean I can relate. I'm not a cook so I prefer to clean. Contrary to popular belief, I'd rather have the gadgets with them.
Speaker 3:Like you know that are more fun. It makes it more fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I bought the Dyson during the pandemic and everybody's like, oh, no, no, no, why would you spend a thousand dollars on a Dyson? But I'm like I love playing with it. I mean, you know what I mean. Like you, just like you feel like the Jetsons or something I don't know. I love it.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. I love it. No, you're, you're so right. And actually it's funny you say that about like the, the cleaning stuff, because, um, and like the clean cause, yeah, I did a video what was it? Maybe like a month ago or something, where I I did a whole like cleaning is actually my therapy, because it is. I think when you change that mindset, you can look at it as a chore. And guess what? It is a chore.
Speaker 3:I mean truthfully it is a chore, but I really believe in perspective. I think if there's one thing that I wish, like just as in society, like in general if there's one thing I wish that we could change with society, I wish we had more people who were open to more perspectives. Changing perspective you don't have that doesn't mean you have to agree with other people. It's just understanding that there are other angles to things. You can have different perspectives and when I started anytime my house was clean I just I feel so good you know kind of like having a mocktail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm feeling a little buzz. Or it's your energy. I think it's your, I think it's honestly, I think it's your energy beyond gray. I want to call you Katie, but I also want to call you beyond gray.
Speaker 3:Honestly, I answer to anything.
Speaker 2:Okay good, Just not asshole, right.
Speaker 3:I will answer to anything, just not asshole, right? I will answer to that, oh shit.
Speaker 2:Okay, Miss Frenchie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean whatever. Listen, I don't actually take myself that seriously. And that's something else too. I actually kind of laugh, like when we were talking about artificial plants earlier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I got here.
Speaker 3:And I love an artificial like topiary or artificial tree and we live in pennsylvania. Okay, our window span of being able to like, keep outdoor flowers and plants a lot like it's a small window in the scheme of things. But listen, like March rolls around, april rolls around. Like a lot of us want the color on our porch.
Speaker 3:We want like some greenery. You know winter is long here, so I love like putting a faux tree or whatever outside and I did a real I again recently I don't know a month and a half ago, or something showing like these faux lilac trees, and people were unhinged. I mean the hate that came out. There were the people who were like I love that I have a black thumb, like you said. Like I do not, I cannot keep things alive.
Speaker 2:Is that what it's called? I've never heard that, but I like it.
Speaker 1:What's the opposite of a green thumb.
Speaker 2:I said like brown.
Speaker 1:When a plant dies it turns like brown, but we could say black.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I mean black does sound very ominous.
Speaker 1:Like hello plant.
Speaker 3:You're here to die.
Speaker 2:I like that better Like.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry about your fate. Um, but, like people, the, the reel went viral and you know going any viral content. I mean, I know some people like pray for viral content. Like I will tell you, it is a blessing and a curse because when something goes viral, the the haters are going to hate and they're going to come out and they are going to be vicious. And where do you think that?
Speaker 2:comes from.
Speaker 3:I think it comes from lack of connection. You know, I was kind of saying like I've read up on just understanding people. Yeah, can you recommend any books? Yeah, the Judgmental Detox, I think, is what it's called. I haven't heard of that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Judgmental detox, I think, is what it's called.
Speaker 3:I haven't heard of that one. Yeah, the judgmental detox, do you?
Speaker 2:know who that's by? We'll look it up, look it up and I did it like book on tape. Yeah, I love audio.
Speaker 3:And what I really learned from that was people tend to judge or kind of snap, you know, at situations, at things when there's a lack of connection, and I was like you know that actually makes sense, like we're more likely to judge someone or something where we really don't know a backstory, we really don't know them, we really don't understand them. And when you start to feel connected to someone, um, you have more of an understanding of how they operate. And I think that's where a lot of like the negativity just on social media in general comes from, is like just a lack of connection, because generally, like when I really don't get the negativity unless something goes viral and most of the negative comments they're from people who don't follow me.
Speaker 3:So, here's the thing when you under I don't take it personally. Listen they're scrolling through this video of this person holding like a fake tree is popping up. They're triggered, annoyed by it, whatever you want to call it, and they're just going to point out you know whatever it is and basically the consensus was like that's tacky. Actually, I shouldn't say the consensus, because there were way more negative or way more positive comments than there were negative but like the negative stuff tends to get the spotlight and of course and um.
Speaker 3:So I understand like they don't know, you know, they don't they don't understand us and our need for faux trees, and but there were so many people that were like actually like I need faux, I can't keep it alive, or one thing I hadn't thought of. And again, perspective is everything.
Speaker 3:The people who were commenting who were like. You know, I live in an area that's like in a drought area and we're not allowed to like water things in our yards, so we have if we want it to look like nice, we have to go like the faux route.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I mean, she's connected with our last guest, pittsburgh, dave, about. You spun perspective, as, instead of feeling nervous, what did you say?
Speaker 1:Get excited.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like just having that anxiety and switching it, you know, and then you start to feel better it's an understanding of people and and I think that when you understand or you're just open to hearing someone's thought process or why they're doing something. Um, it's just like being a human who has a heart and compassion and and I will tell you this um to to put it into perspective- um keyword there keyword. If someone is going to come to a page like mine, that is generally not doing anything controversial.
Speaker 3:Like if they are going to find fault in a wreath on my door or an ornament on my tree, then that tells us that they are going to find fault in anything. And that's where I'm like, that's why you just, you really cannot take it personally. Now, that doesn't mean like, oh, I don't, like I have a thick skin. I wouldn't say I have a thick skin, like I'm a human, I have feelings. My feelings can get hurt.
Speaker 2:What's your sign? I'm a Taurus, taurus.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:You're tough but internally can be sensitive.
Speaker 3:Okay, I don't know much about my sign. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, you're kind of like a bull. I mean I could be speaking out of my butt.
Speaker 3:No, that actually sounds. I feel like that yeah.
Speaker 2:I might look it up, but you finish what you're going to say. Okay. I'm just I'm connecting you with my friend Conan.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:He's a tourist.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:But you know how they say female versus male are different oh really yeah I mean, that would make sense though yes wow, that's very interesting do you know any male tourists? I don't know. Okay, yeah, you're not. You're not from la yeah, that's right like I lived there for too long, clearly everyone's like what's your sign?
Speaker 3:oh, you're this or that. Yeah right, see, I need to be like more educated in that, because I am actually fascinated by it all.
Speaker 2:It's just I need to like. I need to learn more about it, but I didn't mean to take us on a tangent oh, that's okay. I wanted to get your, like you know, business model, like you mentioned during our event at the cohort that you wish. You said something about the influencer link. Like you didn't like start it until like later in your business.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, I think eventually you start learning if there is an opportunity to monetize.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Because I mean there's different types of accounts out there.
Speaker 2:You were stating something about Amazon and how it's very profitable. Yes, so for sure, I actually did. I think they asked us a question.
Speaker 3:You were stating something about Amazon and how it's very profitable. Yes, so for sure, I actually did. I think they asked us a question. They said what is your favorite? Oh yes, site or platform or whatever to monetize.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right, that was it, I said.
Speaker 3:Amazon. Amazon is my number one retailer that I monetize from, and you know people either like, love it or hate it because, you'll get the people again. You're never going to please everyone. You just cannot try. You just have to do your thing, but you'll get the people who are, like you know, amazon's the devil, but yeah, that's been said. Because of the fact that they're killing mom and pop. Yeah, that's been said.
Speaker 2:Because of the fact that they're killing mom and pop.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I think what a lot of people don't realize is that there are a lot of small businesses that sell their product on Amazon. Oh yeah, Including one right here in Pittsburgh Sweetwater Decor.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 3:They sell on Amazon. They have an Amazon like you can click on Sweetwater Decor's site and actually there's. I have someone that follows me and she like popped up in my, in my DMS one day and she, I believe she said she works for Amazon and she was, like you know believe it or not most of where our stuff comes from at Amazon is from the small businesses, because they there are so many small you may not even realize that it's a small business.
Speaker 3:I opened an Amazon package the other day and it was like a cleaning. It was a cleaning supply and there was a note in it, like in the packaging of the cleaning product and it said thank you for supporting our small business.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've gotten those too, and so again, it's like one of those before we like judge and say oh amazon, you know, is taking over the world it is also actually giving small retailers or small brands a way to sell their product through a platform that is very easy to use. That most people use, and it's a way for them to get exposure.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I even know some authors that like well OMS on the fact that they were able to get a book published to order. So they were able to, like you know, create this book instead of like going to like a larger publication house that sometimes wouldn't take on a no name author. Amazon was able to produce it based on, you know, somebody made to order.
Speaker 3:They could self publish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what. That's the word I was searching for.
Speaker 3:Which is incredible If you think about that. I will tell you as a creator, because I've you know there's different ways for us to monetize. You know you can have brand partnerships where you're like working directly with that brand. You'll see that like a paid partnership and you're working directly with the brand or their marketing firm and representing them in like a deal of some sort, like a deal of some sort.
Speaker 3:And then there are platforms that exist where you can like. Ltk is probably the biggest platform where you, as a creator, you can go, you can create an LTK shop and you can monetize off those links that you're creating through all the retailers that are affiliated with LTK Amazon and some of the big retailers Amazon, walmart, target are all coming out with their own affiliate programs for creators. And working with Amazon for me. I very much value their program. It's extremely transparent.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:The reporting is easy to understand. They're very transparent with the reporting. Their pay schedule is very reasonable. With some of the other platforms, like you, kind of don't know when you're going to get paid. I mean I don't think people realize like if I throw up a link for these jeans today, I mean I'm generally making like maybe I don't know penn know pennies, or like a dollar if you buy these jeans today and I'm like one person buys it, not like you know like like Kelly, if you're like I'm gonna swipe up on that, I'm gonna buy these jeans she was wearing today.
Speaker 3:You know, I might only make like a dollar off of that sale and guess what? I probably won't get paid for that for like five months from now. Like I've always wondered about that. It can be three to five months and it's like it's just so you kind of have to think about that like it's, whereas amazon has a very set like you're paid. You know you have you, you have your affiliate links for the month, you You're paid like 60 days after that. You know it's just very, it's very like. It's very formal, it's very easy to understand, it's very scheduled and as someone like when that's your business, I can appreciate that, because you kind of want to know if you're going to get a paycheck and when you're going to get it and how much it's going to be.
Speaker 3:Yes check and when you're going to get it and how much it's going to be? Yes, it's, I mean. So there are ways to monetize and it depends on the account. I mean, for some accounts it would be hard for them to monetize, depending on what like your niche is you know, but as someone, maybe, like in the space that I'm in, like you know, fashion bloggers, home decor, blah, you know, there's lots of ways that, like, we can monetize because of just the nature of what we're showing.
Speaker 2:Amazon store and be able to give people that option, because I think we like to support the open road Pittsburgh. It's the longest standing non-alcoholic bottle shop but, like you said, people don't necessarily have access to go pick it up, so it is probably the next option to give them is the affiliate link from Amazon yeah, I would.
Speaker 3:I would say yeah if there's a way to provide an affiliate link, um, and and that's so that you're you're getting paid for your time.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you know and um.
Speaker 3:I would say for sure if you could do an Amazon affiliate link that would make sense to me.
Speaker 2:I started the process but it is a little time consuming and you know they want to make sure that you're the real person, your identity, yeah.
Speaker 3:They're vetting out, which I can very much appreciate, that they are kind of doing their due diligence to make sure that the people that they're partnering with are valid. Um, there's a lot of you know other messiness that goes on behind the scenes with people who aren't yes.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Legit and you know, basically just like taking other people's content and monetizing. I mean, there's so much that goes on behind the scenes.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you could give us like a little quick snippet of a dirty, dark secret or story that you have behind the scenes. That kind of threw you off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there, well, um, there was an account out there that was basically like taking people's videos. So like, let's say, I have a cleaning video, right, she would take that video and it and it didn't happen to me, but it happened to several of my friends um, they were kind of victims of this, if you want to call it a victim, but you know they were involved. Yeah, um, and she was just browsing the internet and record.
Speaker 3:You know, you can sometimes download a reel like depending on the account settings oh yeah you can like save the reel or they would do like a screen record so they could do it.
Speaker 2:She showed me how to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and she basically created an entire account that was none of it was her content, oh my gosh. But she was doing like, okay, I'll send you the link. And she had her own affiliate links. So she was finding the products that they were showing. Her own affiliate links. So she was finding the products that they were showing, creating her own affiliate links, monetize, not having to create one bit of original content of her own. And she was getting Walmart partnerships. She was getting target partnerships. Um, she was invited to the LTK conference. From what I heard.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm just saying that part was hearsay.
Speaker 2:LTK is.
Speaker 3:LTK is like to know. It is like an affiliate platform and they have a conference every year. It's like a big deal to get invited and it's for, like, top tier producers and from what I heard, I just have to disclaim that that's. What went around is that she was invited, she had actually got an invitation and a group of influencers actually like had to sue shut it down like they had to say, like why you guys are giving her these partnerships.
Speaker 3:She's not even creating this content and it kind of really showed me that some of these, like you said, it's a quite a process to like they want to make sure you're legit and I really appreciate that, because sometimes I think, like some of these brands and stuff will just see a number.
Speaker 3:They'll be like, oh, whoever this account is, like look, they're selling our stuff, we can see, like we can see it on the, the reporting. Let's give them a partnership to like give them even more of a boost to keep selling our stuff. And they're like, not even like checking up to see, like, does this person own the content? Are they an original content creator? I mean, so it did get shut down and that's surprising. I'm glad you didn't get ripped off. I mean, it's happened to me.
Speaker 3:I've had my videos um, show up on other sites and and actually, um, it's usually like my followers who find it not me because generally they'll have me blocked or they'll block the account or they'll like try to hide in some way and um, yeah, even just recently it happened and I looked I'm like, oh my gosh, this person, whoever they are, has like several of my videos on their site and they're like trying to monetize off of it, and there's like copyright issues and so I mean like it's, is that copyright?
Speaker 2:but there are, um, even though I think instagram owns your content probably yeah, yeah so like it's kind of weird kind of to navigate, like you probably could find an attorney to go after them, yeah, but that costs money yeah, and you can.
Speaker 3:I will say you can file reports through okay and I did file a report and I had also reached out to the account and was like you know, this is my video Like, please take it down. You don't own this content. And I probably said a few other things.
Speaker 2:Got a little spicy.
Speaker 3:Karen Naren came out.
Speaker 2:Karen Naren is your alter ego when somebody pisses you off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like well, it's a joke in my family because my last name is Naren, yes, drives with. Karen Katie Naren so like my kids will be like like if I get like all fired up about something like, oh, karen Naren's here.
Speaker 1:Like it's, and so I joke and call it my alter ego?
Speaker 3:Yes, but she gets it done. Oh for sure she doesn't make an appearance often, but when she does and your kids know all about this right. They know Karen Nairn yeah. They actually changed my name on the TV. You know, if you sign into Netflix, it's like who's watching.
Speaker 1:It says Karen Nairn. Oh my gosh, do you get a little snippy when you're watching?
Speaker 3:TV. I was like what I don't think I deserve that's pretty impressive we have a very humorous household oh, I like that we have a great sense of humor, everybody's always joking, and so we don't again like take things like too, too seriously who's the funny one, you or your husband? I mean honestly, like my husband is really funny and it like pains me to say that because I want to be yes, the funny one.
Speaker 2:Well, you're the witty funny. Yeah, you might not be like laughing your face right I mean slapstick.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but he like, if you get him going oh, there's no one better like he is. He's got a phenomenal sense of humor.
Speaker 1:We got to get him on here next. Oh no, the internet, he's not is? He's got a phenomenal sense of humor. We got to get him on here next, I know, oh no, the internet, he's not allowed.
Speaker 2:Oh he's private.
Speaker 3:No, no, I was joking, I'm like the world is not ready for you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know I was like, because I don't see him in any of your feed or any of your posts and that's not his thing.
Speaker 3:That's good he is. I mean he has an Instagram account. I would say the last time. I mean, it's basically just all the whiskey that he drinks. It's just glasses of whiskey. There might be a family picture in there somewhere.
Speaker 2:Any whiskey, in particular.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's. You know, that's like a whole nother podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh damn, he is like a collector.
Speaker 3:It all smells and tastes the same to me and he I don't know he could tell you. I don't know, but he's got all kinds and I don't know he like meets people in parking lots, really yeah he's that guy there's an underground whiskey operation. Okay, going on. They trade, they like trade.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they probably distill it on their own.
Speaker 3:No, they're like they're not collectors. No they're like and they don't. I don't believe they purchase them. It's. It's like we're going to trade like hey, I'll trade you that bottle for that bottle. Oh, fancy, yeah I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, there's some really expensive bottles. So if you could take a sip out of one and then maybe exchange for another one and keep trying different ones, that makes sense to me.
Speaker 3:It makes sense and actually he's really good about enjoying what he has. So I mean, like he'll get some bottles that he'll say, like I got this bottle to trade, like meaning, I'm going to keep this in my stash and use it as a trade. If I see something I want to trade somebody. They've got like a little group or something. I don't, I don't, but he's really good about like enjoying what he has, which I love. I'm just such a big believer in like enjoying the things that you have.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, if you have your grandmother's china, use it like every day, don't just use it like a like. Use it every day I mean, use the things you have and enjoy them. And, um, he's really good about that with whiskey but he is very funny.
Speaker 3:I would love for you to meet him but, yeah, he doesn't do like videos or anything like that he prefers to be like behind the scenes and I respect that um same with my children, like my, I really like they'll make maybe a little appearance here and there in stories, but I really try to give them, you know, their privacy absolutely I stopped sharing my children's bedrooms uh several years ago on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I talked about that in a post, I think once.
Speaker 2:I like how open you are on your post, because I feel like we really know you. Oh thank you yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I stopped sharing because, first of all, the rooms were a wreck.
Speaker 1:Oh, that would be too much to keep up with.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the pressure that I was feeling of like I want to show this, this beautifully decorated bedroom but, it's a, it's a mess, you know, and so I found that I was. I was, first of all, I was getting snippy with them about their bedrooms and this was like dirt.
Speaker 3:This is like when covet hit and we were all home and I threw in the towel and I was like, listen, these kids like need to be able to have the bedroom that they want to have and they, they really don't deserve to have a mom who's like harping on them, like trying to have an insta perfect bedroom it wasn't fair to them it wasn't fair to me and I and I also felt like it was kind of invading their privacy, a bit like this is their safe space, yeah, and if they want to hang posters on the wall or put like the led lights up or you know all the stuff, I hate like I had to give them that space to like do it yeah and to be kids and to not feel like their life was out there and and their bed, their bedroom, was out there. It just wasn't sitting well with me, so I like that you came to that realization.
Speaker 2:I like that, yeah, I don't know if you could just give some perspective, because I think a lot of people always want to do what you do, but they're just so scared, like it takes time to hit that mark, to be, and maybe you can kind of divulge like is it possible, unless you have that support system as a significant other that is able to hold down the fort and cover the overhead?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that makes a big difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because, again, you have to put the creativity first.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:So, in order to initially be creative, or not even like I say creative like I'm painting a picture, no, but just like decorate or do whatever you're going to do, but you are an artist with like social and you know art of decorating. Thank you, I do mean that I feel that I'm going to add that to my bio.
Speaker 2:I really I do feel like you are, and I think it's probably the interior designer in me where I'm like no, no, no, no. Some people that are decorators or claim that they don't have the education are better than the ones that have the education.
Speaker 3:That's interesting, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:Not saying all the time yeah, but it does happen and I think that you're finding, like, the more you create and trial and error you're an artist girl.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you. Thank you, um, but tell me the money.
Speaker 3:I love it. Um, so here's the thing the best way to initially start monetizing is through affiliate links. Okay, so that means you're going to want to reach out to Amazon affiliates and you're going to want to become an Amazon associate and that's going to give you the ability to be able to link things that you love from Amazon and I say that because I'm really particular with what I link. Oh yeah, I don't just like link everything under the sun.
Speaker 2:But that's why you're successful.
Speaker 3:I use it, I especially. I'm particular with certain retailers. Amazon is one of them, because have we not all had an Amazon fail? Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And I've, I've been guilty, like purchasing something off of an influencer I get it and I'm like, oh, this is like junk, and then I don't trust them anymore.
Speaker 3:It's, it's the worst thing, like when you lose that audience. Trust you're. The trust of your audience is the most valuable asset that you have as a creator, and that's one of the reasons, like with Amazon, I tend to just link the things that I'm using and owning and, um, I did a real once that was my amazon fails and the real degrade and people were like thank you, and I'm like this, this stuff was awful. Like I hated this stuff like and I had it in my house still, I was still like torturing myself every day with, like these soap dispensers or whatever, and but why, but? But? But anyway. So the first thing you can do. And then also LTK.
Speaker 3:So LTK is like to know it is what the previous name was and LTK is another platform that as a creator you can apply to, and as soon as you're accepted, you have access immediately to hundreds of brands that you can create an affiliate link with, and when you show those things or link them, you will earn a small commission off of any sales that you get. That is the first way you can start monetizing, because you don't need a brand deal to be able to monetize in that sense.
Speaker 3:And then your other way is like partnering with brands would be your next way of monetizing. And that's like you know, when a brand reaches out or you reach out to the brand like I'd love to do a partnership with you, and when you're a smaller creator, generally those are going to be like gifted only. Like they don't always pay you when you're smaller, but they'll be like.
Speaker 3:Well, we'll send you you know when you're smaller but they'll be like well, we'll send you a free comforter or whatever. And let me tell you those gifted products that I got when my account was super small. I was over the moon, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:They're going to send me a pillow.
Speaker 1:I want one too. We just got our first gift.
Speaker 2:We did yesterday, you did yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like a mocktail. Well, it's like a mocktail.
Speaker 2:Uh, well, it's actually a cocktail mix and you add either mocktail or cocktail, so you can add, like we were hoping, they had a cosmo one in there for you. I know, but it's called with co cocktails and dirks bro brooks um.
Speaker 1:He's a country artist wait, is it Dierks Bentley? Dierks Bentley. Yeah, that's it. Yes, dierks Bentley.
Speaker 2:He's like a co-founder of this and you know they did their research. You know mocktails are hot right now. We want to make them hot like for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think you're on to something. I really do so many friends, or I shouldn't say so many, several friends who are on the mocktail train.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're like loving it.
Speaker 3:They're like I feel great. I mean you guys are on to something like for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, and I think you even like just coming in and talking about it, I know that you're genuine and you're like well, I'm just really into it now, yeah, and you do it now, yeah, and you can implement both. Like you know, it's a mocktail night versus a cocktail night, yeah it does.
Speaker 3:I mean, does it have to be black or white? I mean maybe for some people, maybe it's right for us, right, yeah, but like but really it can be one of those things like let's normalize, like you said yeah do I want a mocktail tonight or do I want a cocktail?
Speaker 2:Right, I mean Depends on your morning the next day, right? What do you have to do?
Speaker 3:I love people. Yes, I love like I love deeply.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 3:But I do get upset if there's like something wrong going on.
Speaker 2:Right. Well, you kind of touched on something earlier about like understanding. Once you understand somebody, like when they're coming at you like a troll, I had somebody in my life recently. I had no idea that they had some trauma as a child, so now I'm looking at them totally different, like I mean, maybe I was like given like little here and there, but but I didn't know the full story.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Now that I know I treat them so much more like with kid gloves or just more understanding and like, just feel like I want to protect myself and my peace. But I'm much more compassionate and empathetic as I get older.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and again that goes back to just like understanding people. And it's easy to maybe get that mean message and it can be hurtful, it can make you you might want to fire back a message to them and it's like, but you really won't feel the need to when you realize like this person probably has other things going on or they probably just don't get what you're doing. They don't get it. I think, like this whole close minded lack of perspective is so like choogy anymore. Yeah, it's like outdated.
Speaker 1:Like come on.
Speaker 3:Even like leaving mean messages on. I'll never understand I feel like it's, so I almost feel like you're dating yourself, you are date, you are telling us that you are older you know like you're, you're not. You're dating who you are. Yeah, because people just aren't. That's just not how we operate these days. We've moved past that. We're more mature, we have the self-control to just. Let's keep it positive and it's okay to not respond to everything.
Speaker 2:I know I was going to read a message, but then I was. You know, when you're like, okay, it's not worth it, because it's just going to make you feel a certain way, even though we're on the conversation, you probably have some stories or hot tea.
Speaker 1:I absolutely do, but I keep my life private in that way even though she's a podcaster. I get it though it can involve family and stuff, if you put that out there you have problems that you can never fix.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 3:It is true and I think and I like respect that Like we want to have these conversations and have fun, but you kind of have to maintain a little bit of privacy and I know there are some people out there that put every aspect of their life.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:There are some people out there that put every aspect of their life.
Speaker 1:Yes and I. It's not for me. No, I like to watch it.
Speaker 3:I'm just not going to do it. It's not for me and it's not really even about me. It's about the people around me.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:They, I think, deserve you know to not. They deserve some privacy. I've always said like my instagram page is designed to be an escape from the heaviness of the real world, and that's what it is. I think some people take it more seriously than I do like telling me. You know, the faux plant is tacky. I'm not even putting that much thought into it quite frankly Like, but it is.
Speaker 3:It's a little escape and it's a little like moment of like that's supposed to just be helpful or happy, or like have something to offer. Attitude is everything and, honestly, being a kind person behind the scenes is like so is so, I guess, important to me. I'm just trying to make sure like the kindness aspect of it and I try to do that even with any negativity that comes with. I try to reply to it in as kind of a way as I can, because I won't stoop to that level, as kind of a way as I can because I won't stoop to that level. And I think that when you show grace and class, that has the same ability to spread. Just like negativity can spread, I feel like positivity and handling things with grace can spread as well.
Speaker 1:I can feel the kindness radiating from your page. I feel like safe when I'm on it. I feel happy.
Speaker 3:So I love that makes me happy. I had a conference call with Instagram and they said well, you met all these requirements. One of the requirements they said your page for us was marked as a safe page. I was like I didn't even know that existed. Came up in their reporting that it showed us like what they call a safe page.
Speaker 2:you katie for having a safe page. Cheers to katie.
Speaker 3:So much beyond gray this is katie from beyond gray and thank you for listening to mocktails for messy cheers.
Speaker 2:Thank you, katie. I appreciate you coming in. Thank you so much.