PROVIDE CARE for those entrusted to you!

We finish the 2nd part of the conversation from the previous episode of what shepherd leaders provide for those entrusted to them. 

In the previous episode we learned that shepherd leaders will provide for the needs of those they lead.  Today we talk about how we also are to provide CARE.  As Christ followers our leadership should look differently than the leadership seen across the world.  The way our leadership can look differently is to provide genuine care for those we lead.  

Nick talks about how care is an action, not an intention, and how we can put our care into action in a way that makes people feel cared for.  

Join in the conversation to learn how you can provide care for those you shepherd. 

Transcript

Welcome to the Shepherd Leadership Podcast where we hope to encourage and equip leaders to help those entrusted to them thrive and to be a leader others will follow for life. 

My name is Nick Westbrook & I’ve had people entrusted to my care professionally for over 20 years in careers from ministry, coaching football, & business development to now owning & leading a Chick-fil-A franchise with over 140 Team Members.  Leading my business at Chick-fil-A is the most challenging, difficult, and rewarding thing I’ve ever done.  The challenges can feel overwhelming, But the call lead and being given the responsibility to steward so many people’s lives and experiences is an honor that I’m proud to shoulder.  I’ve had more leadership failures than success, but from my greatest leadership failures I’ve learned the true art of fulfilling my calling to lead.  

Thank you for joining our conversation where we will unpack the calling of leading as a shepherd and talk with other Shepherd Leaders in Chick-fil-A & other industries about the impact they are making in their organizations.  We post a new 30 minute episode on the first Friday of every month and sprinkle in some bonus content along the way. 

We hope to make this time valuable for you & encourage you.  This is the Shepherd Leadership Podcast.

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Welcome back Shepherd Leaders! Today is the 2nd of a two part discussion that we began last month about the principle of PROVIDING for those entrusted to us.  

As shepherd leaders we are tasked to serve those entrusted to us so that THEY with thrive.  For those entrusted to us to THRIVE we must work to KNOW, GUIDE, PROTECT, & PROVIDE for them. 

Last month we began the conversation around what it looks like for a Shepherd Leader to PROVIDE for those entrusted to us.  If you haven’t listened to that episode, I encourage you to go back to listen to it because it full of rich content that will help you on your shepherd leadership journey.  

To recap very briefly – we said that the shepherd leader needs to PROVIDE for the NEEDS of those entrusted to them.  We defined some very universal NEEDS that all people have through Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of NEEDS, and walked thru how we can serve our teams, families, and organizations by working to systematize how we provide for those needs.  It was a really fun episode so I hope you will go back and check that out if you haven’t already.  

Full transparency – Providing for our people’s needs isn’t enough.  We have to do that, it’s a must. But it’s incomplete.  That’s why we had to break this up into 2 conversations.  

As shepherd leaders we must PROVIDE something else that separates us from other leaders.  

We must PROVIDE CARE. 

As shepherd leaders that try to lead in a Christ-like way, that model Psalm 23 Shepherd Leadership, our leadership should look different that the typical command and control leadership in the world.  The way that our leadership can look drastically different that the world is to PROVIDE CARE. 

Now it might be interesting to you that I said you need to PROVIDE CARE and not just to CARE.  Many times CARE can be separated as a feeling or an intention instead of an action and a decision.  

Real care that is motivated by LOVE is fueled by intention but is executed in action. You may say, “I just CARE so much” - & I would ask, “How do you show that you care”. 

John Gottman is a renowned marriage, family, & relationship psychologist & researcher who has identified the #1 predictor of divorce in marriages.  Gottman says he can identify within a few sessions if a couple is headed towards a dramatic and devastating divorce or if they have a good chance at developing a thriving marriage.  

The #1 indicator Gottman found for divorce is CONTEMPT.  If one spouse shows overwhelming contempt for the other, they need a miracle in their relationship to save it. 

How does a person get to the point where they feel contempt for the other, a person they were once infatuated with? An overwhelming feeling that the person doesn’t care about them, or never shows that they CARE.  

The theme that is hovering over Psalm 23, which has been our road map for this shepherd leadership journey is that “my shepherd cares for me”. 

My friend Shane Benson at Chick-fil-A Corporate office says,

“When people feel cared for, they care more.” (REPEAT)

How can we ensure that those entrusted to us feel cared for?

We’ve developed for our team an acronym that helps us remember that every action of care should result in a reaction of feeling cared for. I am going to say them all together and then we will look at each one individually. 

The acronym on both sides is for the word CARE, & remember that every action of care should result in a person feeling cared for.

As shepherd leaders we must provide…

COMMUNICATION      that makes them feel              CONNECTION

APPRECIATION            that makes them feel              APPRECIATED

RECOGNITION             that makes them feel              RESPONSIBILITY

ENCOURAGEMENT     that makes them feel              ENTHUSIASM

So as shepherd leaders we must provide…

COMMUNICATION – APPRECIATION – RECOGNITION – ENCOURAGEMENT

& those entrusted to us will feel…

CONNECTION – APPRECIATION – RESPONSIBILITY - & ENTHUSIASM

Let’s look at these one by one.  

COMMUNICATION that creates CONNECTION. 

As leaders we MUST be communicating with our teams.  We must communicate with our spouses & with our children.  Senior leaders must communicate with their organizations.  

If we don’t communicate, those entrusted to us feel disconnected.  We must be communicating with our people.  You cannot lead without communicating.  Communication is one skill I believe EVERY leader needs to continuously be working to improve throughout their leadership journey.  Communication is an art form.  It is a learned skill that you can work on to improve.  Some leaders don’t do it because they get uncomfortable.  We don’t get that option as leaders.  Leaders are communicators.  

Now just because you’ve communicated doesn’t mean that you have created CONNECTION.  To lead with CARE you must work to COMMUNICATE in a way that creates CONNECTION.  You want those entrusted to you to feel CONNECTED to the mission, the vision, the values, or the relationship. 

Many times we can define what something should look like by first defining what it SHOULDN’T look like.  We have all been communicated with in a way that created DISCONNECTION.  

-       We felt the person was talking AT us instead of TO us. 

-       When there is a sense of authority overmining the communication

-       If the communication is attacking or personal

-       When the communication lacks humility

We say that as communicators, leaders should use the A-B-C-D’s of communicating.  
Always Be Connecting the Dots.  Good communicators are always connecting the dots from what we are trying to communicate and how that helps us become who we want to be together.  

When being communicated with, people want to know 3 things to feel connected. 

-       They matter

-       What they do matters

-       What we are doing together matters. 

Communication can happen in several different ways; WRITTEN, VISUAL, & AUDIBLE.  All are great but all of them need to be used.  We will all trend towards one more than the other, but our teams need to see all of those forms of communication from us in some way. 

In a small example.  My wife needs to hear me say I love her.  She needs to read notes that say I love her, and she needs to receive flowers that say I love her.  

Our teams need to have written communication from us. We need to put in clear and concise messaging what we want to say. But that can be incomplete.  They also need to hear from us, in person.  Those entrusted to us need to hear our voice! Whether that is in a meeting, a call, or over video, our people need to see and hear us! & we can make it visual.  Signs around the office or the house.  Images that remind us of what we are trying to accomplish and where we are headed together.  These things help us stay connected. 

As Jesus shepherded the disciples he was in constant communication with them, and he communicated in many different ways to connect with them.  Teaching, asking questions, parables and stories.  As shepherd leaders we have to work to communicate in a way that connects with those entrusted to us.  

The next way we show CARE  is..

APPRECIATION that makes them feel APPRECIATED. 

Yes I said that. APPRECIATION that makes them feel APPRECIATED??!!

Before you turn off the podcast, here me out.  

Have you ever been told by someone that’s important to you, that you appreciate, and have tried to show them that you appreciate them, that they don’t feel APPRECIATED??

I definitely have.  Between my wife, my 2 daughters, 5 Direct reports, 35 leaders in my organization, and 140 Team Members – ALL PEOPLE THAT I APPRECIATE WITH ALL MY HEART – I have definitely had all of them at times tell me that they have, at times, felt unappreciated.  Even though I have worked to try to appreciate all of them. 

As a young leader I used to buy into the old saying, “it’s the thought that matters”.  I’m just going to tell you that’s not true. It’s the ACTION that matters.  

Appreciation is always felt in action, not in thought or intention.  Appreciation can never be assumed, it must always be acted on.  

We all want to be appreciated for what we do, and all of us feel appreciation in different ways. 

I have given thousands of dollars in gifts to my team at Christmas, to be told in January by a team member leaving the organization that they didn’t feel appreciated. 

I have spent the day cleaning the house or doing a task that I was sure that my wife wanted me to complete, to learn that she later felt disconnected because we hadn’t spent any time together.  

In their book, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, Gary Chapman & Paul White describe how we can act on our appreciation for others in the way they best feel appreciated.  This work is based on Chapman’s groundbreaking research found in his bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages.

There are 5 different ways that we all feel or receive appreciation best.

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Words of Affirmation

Tangible Gifts

Appropriate Physical Interaction

One day I will spend an entire episode going through these in detail.  For today, though, we need to realize that in order to provide CARE for those entrusted to us, we must provide appreciation for who they are and what they bring to our family, our team, & our organization.  To make them feel appreciated we must know what language of appreciation they speak!  

As a shepherd leader that provides care for those entrusted to you, Knowing the language of appreciation of those you care for and applying that thoughtfully and intentionally can be a powerful catalyst in helping them thrive and drive vitality in your tribe, your family, your team, or your organization.  

A few years ago I was challenged to begin writing thank you notes.  I began writing them to our leaders in our restaurant, making them personal and naming specific things that I appreciated about them and their leadership and what they bring to the table to make us better.  I wrote one letter to a young leader who had a hard upbringing.  When I would tell him thank you verbally or tell him in person what he did well - he would act like he brushed it off, like no big deal.  Well after a year or so, his young father unfortunately died suddenly and I took food over to his house.  His entire family was there as I walked into the kitchen.  I placed the food down and after giving my condolences and about to walk out I saw my thank-you note from the year before hanging on the refrigerator by a magnet.  I stopped and looked around at his mother and she gave me that sort of look that only mothers can give that says, “that meant the world to him”.  This young man is my longest tenured employee, has become a dedicated leader and is one of the hardest working young men I have ever come across.  He felt appreciated, & I didn’t even know it.  

As a shepherd leader you have to try all of the languages to find which one fits those you lead best.  They can take an assessment at www.apprecationatwork.com.  I also encourage you to ask them.  “How do you best feel appreciated for your contribution?” or “What are some ways our organization can really make you feel appreciated for the value you bring?”  

Ask your spouse and your kids the same question.  

You are going to get all kinds of answers from “just tell me when I’m doing a good job” to “I love thank you notes”, or “I would really love a 1-1 meeting every quarter to review my progress”, or “I’d love for you to come to our department and get involved with some of the work we are doing” or “I’d love a high-five or a fist bump, that really helps me know we are connected and on the right track”.  

This is the loving work of the shepherd leader.  Not to just appreciate those entrusted to you, but to show appreciation in ways that make them feel appreciated! 

Another way we show care is to provide

RECOGNITION that creates RESPONSIBILITY! 

Recognition is not the same as appreciation.  It’s involved but recognition is specific to details in a specific task, expectation, or contribution that you would love to see repeated in them and in everyone else around them.  

RECOGNITION is the superpower of the leader.  You have probably heard it before that what you reward gets repeated.  That is so true.  I’m going to say it like this, what you RECOGNIZE gets repeated.  Recognition is a form of reward! 

We put out all of these objectives and things we want our teams to hit and things we want them to do.  If we don’t recognize them when they do the right thing the right way, they will think that it doesn’t matter, or that it’s importance is diluted.  What gets recognized is important! It matters! 

This is true in our relationships like marriage and parenting as much as it is true in the workplace or on our teams.  

When someone points out something specific that we have done that meets or exceeds their expectation, that is like shouting in bold letters, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE OF THAT!! 

Look for the simple ques.  When my wife says, “Thank you so much for taking the trash to the road last night.” She is saying, “It would really be great if you did that more often.”

What you are saying is that, “if you did more of this, this will help you thrive, this will help us thrive”

I totally learned this from my wife.  Brooke was a 3rd grade teacher and I went into her classroom one day to help her set something up, and those kids were going crazy.  All she said was, “I love how Caroline is sitting at the front of the classroom with her legs crossed and ready to learn.”  Immediately, like she had played some Jedi mind trick on those students, they ALL ran to the front of the classroom, sat down, crossed their legs, and were looking up at her ready to hear what she had to say.  I was mesmerized.  I was coaching football at the time and it was difficult for me to get some of my guys to be at practice on time, in uniform, and ready to practice when drills were starting.  I tried Brooke’s method and began pointing out the players that were always at practice on time, ready to start practice, and didn’t cause us any delay in our preparation for our opponent.  Those players also got preferential treatment in terms of cleaning up after practice and cleaning the locker room.  It was amazing how quickly all of the guys began getting to practice on time and where prepared for practice to start.  Many coaches punish players if they aren’t on time.  I was one of those coaches.  I quickly learned that recognition is much more powerful than punishment.   

Recognition should be specific and create a sense of responsibility for those same actions in those that are being recognized AND in those around them.  Occasionally, When I find a perfect chicken sandwich, or overhear a perfectly executed order taking experience or customer resolution conversation, or enjoy a perfect waffle fry – I will stop everything in the restaurant and say, “Who made this chicken sandwich?! This is a perfect chicken sandwich! This is the best chicken sandwich I have ever had.  It has the perfect amount of breading, it is hot, tender, & juicy.  The pickles are perfectly placed and the bun is perfectly buttered and toasted.  The foil bag is clean and the fold on the top is 2 perfect ¼” folds! This is a PERFECT CHICKEN SANDWICH!  This is the chicken sandwich that Truett envisioned when he was dreaming up the original chicken sandwich.  This chicken sandwich will literally make someone’s Day!” 

The team that made the sandwich is overcome with pride for their work, being recognized among their peers, and they, and everyone around them knows what is expected for every chicken sandwich.  They know the standard, they know what we are looking for.  Then the culture takes control.  The momentum of people doing what is expected because of the environment created by the leaders and the actions, attitudes, & behaviors they recognize. 

To round out the shepherd leader that provides CARE, a good shepherd leader will provide ENCOURAGEMENT that creates ENTHUSIASM.  Truett Cathy was famous for saying, “Do you know how to tell when someone needs encouragement, They are breathing!!” Every one of us needs encouragement.  Encouragement is defined as giving someone support, confidence, or hope.  As shepherd leaders, imagine the enthusiasm we could create in those entrusted to us if we overwhelmed them with our active support, injected them with confidence, and gave them hope for what they wanted most.  Those would be people that were ENTHUSIASTIC about their future and their opportunity to THRIVE as a part of God’s amazing plan for them.  

Encouragement is a booster shot in the hearts and minds of those entrusted to us.  We don’t need to give our people “test projects” to see how they will do.  We need to guide them well, challenge them to do hard things and to take risks, and boost their confidence with strategic encouragement that is focused on who they are. We need to show our belief in them and our support for them.  

Most people are paralyzed by fear that they will let someone down.  My biggest win as a football coach came off the foot of a 14 year old first year freshman player named Erik Gailes.  I had convinced Erik to play because we needed a kicker.  He came out and worked really hard at learning to kick the football.  He was a standout soccer player, but his ball was round and ours was oblong.  He attended clinics on kicking and worked hard & practiced kicking every day that summer.  A few games into our season we faced the #2 team in the state and battled them down to the final seconds which came down to a field goal attempt.  Being honest, I did not think Erik was going to make the kick. The odds were just against him.  I knew he COULD make the kick.  He had plenty of leg strength, but I thought the nerves would get the better of him.  Before the kick I told him. “Buddy you have worked your tail off getting ready for this. You and I both know you have enough leg for his kick.  You have made a hundred of these in practice. But I want you to know that whether you make it or not, I love you, and I am proud of you.  You have put in the work to be ready for this, and that has made you the type of guy I want out there taking this shot.  Just promise me one thing, don’t miss it short.  Kick it into the next county.  Give it all you’ve got.”  Well Erik did just that, made the kick, and won the biggest game in school history up to that point, and began the momentum of a program that would go on to become one of the dynasties of high school football in Georgia. And it all started with a little encouragement.  

Think of how Jesus encouraged Peter as he was telling him, “on this rock I will build my church”, or how Paul shephered Timothy as he encouraged him, “do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for all believers”. 

A little encouragement can give the right people the boost of enthusiasm they need to thrive and make a significant impact with their influence.  

Shepherd leaders provide so many things for those entrusted to them.  In the previous episode we learned that shepherd leaders will provide for the physical & psychological needs of those entrusted to them.  Today we learned that faithful shepherd leaders will also provide CARE for those entrusted to them.  

Shepherd Leaders will genuinely CARE for those they lead.   They will care that they THRIVE.  

For those entrusted to us to THRIVE by how we lead with CARE, we must provide communication, appreciation, recognition, & encouragement.  If we provide those well, those entrusted to us will feel cared for. They will feel connected, appreciated, responsible, & enthusiastic about who they are, what they do, and what they get to be a part of. 

Remember what Shane Benson from Chick-fil-A says, “when people feel cared for, they care more”

Well team, this has been fun.  I am really looking forward to next month’s podcast.  We tackle our first interview of The Shepherd Leadership Podcast and I share a conversation with David Chen, a good friend, a phenomenal husband & father, a faithful believer, a dynamic shepherd leader, and a phenomenal Chick-fil-A Operator in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  

Until next month, shepherd those entrusted to you by striving to KNOW, GUIDE, PROTECT, & PROVIDE so that they will THRIVE, and that you could be a leader they would follow for life.  

Shepherd well my friends.