The Illusion of Loyalty Among Friends, and the Quest for Authenticity

Ever had a friend who seemed to cheer you on but somehow left you feeling drained? That's the heart of our latest episode, where Azaa Khadraj helps us unravel the dark twists of 'frenemies' — those masquerading allies in life's theater. As Azaa dissects her book "Know Thy Frenemies" we navigate the perilous undercurrents of toxic relationships, even within our own families. It's a candid exploration of the veiled competition and resentment that can lurk beneath the surface of what seems like friendship, and the effect of such dynamics on our mental health, especially in the close quarters induced by the pandemic lockdowns.

Tragedy often brings hidden truths to light, and our episode doesn't shy away from recounting the sobering tales of those betrayed by the very people they held close. Like the young woman with entrepreneurial dreams, whose fateful trip to Mexico ended in a nightmare, our discussion serves as a cautionary tale on the importance of knowing who we trust. These stories aren't just heart-wrenching—they're crucial conversations about personal safety and the need for discernment when it comes to the company we keep.

To wrap this thought-provoking session, Azaa's upcoming book takes center stage, promising a deep dive into the art of spotting and understanding these deceptive dynamics. With her book touching down soon, we point you towards Azaa's hub of community interaction for those who can't wait to dissect more about this topic. So, pull up a chair and get ready to listen; because this isn't just another talk—it's a guide to navigating the treacherous waters of relationships with eyes wide open.

Where to purchase the book: "Know Thy Frenemies"
https://www.amazon.com/KNOW-THEY-FRENEMIES-Frenemies-Circles-ebook/dp/B0BPMZ9KW6/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?crid=1UHACN6VG269D&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QL8QcKvI6xIt3Xw5BRMZmGi0GfuXjxZ-ODwh3hd3r2Y.qdEFBfqRVkaHBspSayP4sGlI82HPzWHvzZ_jas_P3R8&dib_tag=se&keywords=know+thy+frenemies+audate&qid=1703695002&s=digital-text&sprefix=know+thy+frenemies+audate%2Cdigital-text%2C64&sr=1-1-fkmr0&ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=afc4b04a-0a76-4935-b68c-dbac533436df



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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:12

Okay, guys, this is your Podhost OG GOAT. We want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and a belated Merry Christmas because it's like a few days after Christmas and a happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and whatever else that you might be celebrating out there, and today we have a special guest on board named Aja Khadraj. Did I pronounce that correctly?

Speaker 2: 0:40

Yes, Azaa Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 0:42

Azaa Khadraj. Yes, outstanding, and tell me more about the history of your name.

Speaker 2: 0:49

Actually that is the Arabic language. It is tribal though. It dates way back to ancient northeast Africa, and it turns out Azaa does mean wings, or to spread one's wings. And then there's a tribal. I'm still researching, actually, the bulk or part of my name. You know language and phonology right and how deep it gets, but it's very ancient, it's tribal and it's with leadership and spreading one's wings.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Nice, excellent, thank you. We started this episode today because you brought out you're the author of a book, right, and the title of your book is no, thy Frenemies. No, thy Frenemies. I gotta admit, this is the first time I've actually come across that word, frenemies. So tell me exactly what does that mean?

Speaker 2: 1:48

Frenemies. Frenemies is not something that I invented, so to speak. It's something that was floating around the urban world that caught my ear and I started to like dig into, not realizing that I myself had experienced so much of what this was. This was the earlier part of last year and I started to dig into it and realize that I was defining and realizing what a frenemy was, that I had so much of that, not only in my life, but that I was virtually just by default of my experiences, probably an expert on the term Interesting. Yeah, so a frenemy essentially is right. Any person, right male or female, in your life who poses as a friend, who wears the mask of being a friend, someone who loves and supports you, when in reality they have a hidden agenda right, or could actually be a rival of yours and you're not even aware of it.

Speaker 1: 2:50

So let me see here Can I classify a family member as a frenemy? Someone who may, I don't know? You tell me, can a family member be classified as a frenemy?

Speaker 2: 3:06

Absolutely. In fact, there's a section where I talk about the different types of frenemies, and family members are actually top on my list when it comes to the different frenemy types. You can have right, it's a chapter, literally, types of frenemies, and I know that, like the frenemy term you think of, only friend, like who's my friend? I really might be my rival. It's not just that, it's in general, the people around us who pose as people who love and support you when they really may not. I mean, let's be honest, we were just some of us are still around our relatives right now. Right, and we hope that all of y'all had a happy holiday, right, like we were saying to each other before.

Speaker 2: 3:49

But sometimes we go around assuming that everyone's holidays are all that happy right, when in reality, more than 35% like there's been countless articles and blogs, news posts, you know, verifying that there's a blank a bulk of people, excuse me, that actually get somewhat depressed around the holidays, or you know they're around people they don't necessarily want to see. I know people go to Thanksgiving dreading other than eating in the turkey, which is the stuff that we like. We also have to go around our relatives and I like the fact that the conversation has started about frenemies. I think actually was triggered probably around the pandemic, right Cause we all were stuck. Remember, we were all stuck in lockdown.

Speaker 2: 4:30

Right, husbands had to spend time with their wives. You know, if you had, you were living with your man or your boyfriend. You started to learn more about each other. Okay, side chick was in trouble, the whole shebang Cause. Everybody was home and so so much came out as far as who we really were with. You know people. You know some people got more spiritual when it's a yoga. Some people went left, some people got went nuts.

Speaker 1: 4:56

Right.

Speaker 2: 4:56

Some people started businesses right Like yourself and other individuals. However, we also had to sort of get real People that you would think right would contact you or reach out to you. During a whole pandemic we found we're not who you expect, right Like I. Literally girlfriends, personal people that I know in my life were saying that sometimes total strangers they found reached out to them more during the pandemic.

Speaker 1: 5:22

Okay, I've 2020, 2020. Yes, I've noticed that that's right.

Speaker 2: 5:26

Yeah, yes, sometimes you own, who your own relatives? Right, and it's such a taboo topic because everyone wants to be so, you know sugary, right, no one wants to say anything bad about their family. But let's be honest, many toxic relationships they don't just start with your husband or your wife Although that's a type two, we'll get into that in a minute Right, toxic relationships are just relationships of people in your life. It could be your spouse, it could be your bestie, it could be your sister, it could be your dad. Who are the people in your life on a regular basis that bring you toxic feelings, who raise your blood pressure right On a daily basis? And this is so important.

Speaker 2: 6:04

I know you said you knew a mental health professional that you'll be bringing in later down the line, but one of the reasons I wanted to focus on wellness and preventing major health, mental health or regular health issues, was just learning how to be like. How do we be well, how do we prevent mental health since we're just finally having a conversation and that is, first and foremost, by regulating what we can control, and that is ourself, hopefully right. Control ourself what we consume. Right Physically, as far as what we eat, and you know who we put around us, right, our social environments. We may not be able to fix the ozone layer, or even the people at work, but we can be choosy as far as who is in our life. Right? Who's my bestie? Is this person really filling me? Right? Let's? Let's figure it out. Who calls who more? Let's look at the, the, the micros.

Speaker 1: 6:50

There's this old saying that goes if you can't change the wind, change the sales change the sales right.

Speaker 2: 6:57

That's so perfectly describes what's happening, because you can't control anyone at all. That's almost like a hamstable trying to think about how we can adjust someone else's behavior. It's actually pretty dangerous to try to do that, but you can adjust yourself, right. I feel like just the fact that I'm not suggesting that you replace people with pets, but just the fact that this was such a ridiculous spike right of people hanging out more, you know, with less people. Social circles I'm hearing I don't know if it's factual have gotten smaller. People are spending time, you know nature, walking their dogs, like it's been a major spike. It's sort of a almost like a revolution of people trying to get into their self-care, right, but a lot of that has included making one circle smaller.

Speaker 1: 7:42

Let me jump in here for a second. You know, I was listening to the news this morning and they actually did suggest getting a pet for for for, let's say, the older generation, absolutely, and it helps, according to their study, against dementia and dementia.

Speaker 2: 8:08

Oh, wow.

Speaker 1: 8:09

And I understand why because that pet is keeping you occupied, not saying like you said the pet is better than having a human.

Speaker 2: 8:20

Right.

Speaker 1: 8:21

You know, I must use a term human, because we're on the subject of a frenemy, so we don't know if this person has your you and your you know your best interests Right. But to keep the mind active, your next best bet would be as they say, a dog is a man's best friend.

Speaker 2: 8:41

The loyalty, yeah, is unmatched. Yes, I've seen it myself. That's actually number like number three on my must have of New Year's list. Like I don't do resolutions at all, I just have things that I want to accomplish for myself. And getting a pet Right, just a perfect pet that I can kind of, you know, give and receive total, reciprocal, unconditional love you know, and share that kind of just a feeling of of certainty. I think that's why people get pets Right, irregardless of what's going on, you know, at home, you know, with my family, there's always that constant that you can't, it's so hard to get with humans. But let's go back to um, frenemies right, essentially. So that's just one example of people starting to realize that let's try to like cut this off at the path and deal with wellness, let's figure out how to really analyze our relationships and kind of make better choices, which essentially is what I'm I aim to do with no-life frenemies.

Speaker 2: 9:39

It started off last year. I was actually freaked out when I kept hearing all those stories. Remember, every two months we were hearing another insane story about someone's out with their friends and all of a sudden, four girls go missing. There was a story about some college kids, I think in Wisconsin correct me if I'm wrong about the state who just went missing. They all went on like spring break or something. Then there was the story with the young girl, the American. She was like a cheerleader, beautiful, beautiful African American girl who goes on a holiday to Mexico. Right, I believe they were calling it the Cabo Six. I'm not sure what the term was, but she goes with these so-called friends, I believe.

Speaker 2: 10:19

Just the guy was her friend and he bought other females. So they're all hanging out, but according to the news and the clips that we saw ourselves, these people clearly did not like her Right.

Speaker 1: 10:31

Right.

Speaker 2: 10:32

Here she was, this beautiful up and coming. She had her own business. I don't remember what I think it was. It was the hair beauty industry business Hair or nails.

Speaker 1: 10:39

I've read about that, right, yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:42

And she was all on Facebook doing well entrepreneur, right, she had just graduated college. I think she did some fashion shows and she pays for these friends.

Speaker 1: 10:54

Tickets yeah, she funded them tickets. It was really a heartfelt situation, oh my God it was all over.

Speaker 2: 11:00

Youtubers couldn't let that go. I did my own segments on it, I blogged about it, because we were just shocked how do you go to Mexico with friends and wind up in a body bag? Right, as a young woman, right, and I really personally as a young woman I had to really take a look at just myself in general, just who I'm choosing around me, because it just hit home so much about how the threshold for the people we go and travel with is so low. Right, sometimes, because I'm looking at it, I'm like beautiful girl, but I'm like how long did you know them?

Speaker 1: 11:32

Right Of two of them she had never really known.

Speaker 2: 11:35

She only knew the guy, and so there was like a little bit of an open door as well. Now, of course, you don't think anyone's going to. You don't think that you're going to wake up and people are just going to like plot to kill you. You don't think that way, none of us think that way and we shouldn't think that way, right? So this is not like victim blaming, but I'm looking at how many open doors we leave open, sometimes in not realizing how important it is to have the right people around us. I saw the clips on the news and I'm thinking those are the ones. I don't like her, and I'm not sure whether she was unaware of it or just aware of it and didn't care. I was just like ignoring it.

Speaker 1: 12:06

You know how we feel like Some people are just desperate to have that, that friend.

Speaker 2: 12:13

Right.

Speaker 1: 12:13

Not saying it was this type of situation, right. But bingo, you know, when you classify someone as a friend it comes with the certain criteria in my book.

Speaker 2: 12:27

It should, it should.

Speaker 1: 12:28

You know, there's certain things that that person needs to meet in order for me to be able to say oh yeah, this is my friend, his, my friend.

Speaker 2: 12:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a great point. And everyone's like, oh, young girl goes to Mexico with friends and you know she comes home or she doesn't come home. And this was a constant narrative. And the fact is these people weren't her friends at all. Yes, right, even the guy who she knew for much longer. This man had gone to trips before with her family. They said, right, the young lady's mom had known him. Right, there was some trust that the parents put in him to even, I guess, let her go to Mexico with him. Right, to go outside the country like that. And he was one of the four who came home and blatantly lied to their parents. Right, and excuse us for not mentioning names, we actually made a conscious decision not to name drop. But a lot of you listening might be fully aware of the story you know of the younger who goes to Mexico. Last year, exactly around this time Actually, this would be the anniversary month of when that happened and didn't come back. And these so-called friends around her, namely the guy, all they could come up with is some stop story about being sick, getting drunk and being sick she. They just lied to her parents.

Speaker 2: 13:48

And to go further, those of you who know exactly what we're speaking of. You know it was recorded what actually happened and that was one of the girls who had some kind of unknown beef to this day Nobody really knows what that beef was about Walks into the room and starts pounding on her like a sumo wrestler, like pound in on her. Now they want to say, oh well, it's probably just a fight. It was a fight they had. No, there was no fight. They attacked her because the young lady she didn't strike one blow. We saw this. This was on tape. We saw that this woman was just being beaten by this one girl. The gentleman who was her so-called friend musters up. Aren't you even going to hit back? Aren't you even going to hit back?

Speaker 1: 14:29

Wow Video. I didn't even hear that part yet. Yeah, he's right on camera.

Speaker 2: 14:34

So basically he's videotaping and instigating for her to go ahead and make it a real show. Hit back. So he wants a cat fight. He's thinking he's just going to go viral, maybe with a cat fight maybe, and throw it up on Instagram. Right, this is what I'm also thinking, like, most of us don't necessarily think he intended to kill his friend, which we don't know. We hope not, but I know certainly that girl did. You're not coming into a room, swing and like a sumo wrestler, thinking you're not gonna seriously injure someone right or, unfortunately, take their life. Okay, and so the story also goes that there's another one of them have a medical background or some sort.

Speaker 2: 15:13

Yes, I'm glad you asked. There was one of them who was one of the three girls who wound up as they started to dig. After they all came back from Mexico without the young lady that she was actually a CNA, yeah, working at a medical facility at the time. She's no longer working for them, thank God. It was reported that she allege allegedly was investigated Several weeks after, when they found out where one of the suspects who went to Mexico with this lady they found out that she you know she's an employee at this medical facility and the higher-ups found out about the incident.

Speaker 2: 15:56

They saw it all over the news and obviously they want to cover themselves. Right, then I'm gonna have somebody working with them who's out there taking people out, right? So she was fired instantly and but we've never heard many updates Since then, and that's what brings me to as it brings me here. Really, right, this was one of several stories like this. I couldn't even follow 2022. After a while. It was one thing after another, but for some reason, this one inspired. No, that front of me is a lot, because that could have been anyone.

Speaker 2: 16:26

Yes, you know. All that being said, that's pretty much what brings us here the fact that here we are almost, or a little over a year in the anniversary of this mysterious murder in Mexico, along with several other homicides, namely them asides, which will go into that next term, after and In this particular case, people are still wondering why there hasn't been an official arrest of any of these six individuals that took this young girl to Mexico.

Speaker 1: 17:04

Okay, so now I want to ask more about this friend of me stuff. How do we Identify it? Have you Ever come across a frenemy in your life, and what is your suggestion on to the audience is to how to deal with a frenemies or a frenemy.

Speaker 2: 17:27

Well, it's, it's, it's simple. I've broken it down to be simple. I should say, and I just realized, as you mentioned before you touched on it, we have no criteria laid out, right, what is required, just like we date and we quote, unquote, have our list and we have our criteria, we don't really have that for our friends and the people we simply hang out with on a regular basis, especially you know what college age, right? So I've already tied even high school. There's no criteria. You just hang out with whoever will, I guess, let you or we feel comfortable with, or who you can I don't know rock matching clothes with and call them your bestie.

Speaker 1: 18:09

Remember, through young students and I think it was Rutgers University and some other universities that committed suicide had these people around, which was actually ended up being bullies or titled as bullies. Yeah, but these guys they was. I guess they might have considered them as friends, that's why they was around, Correct, and then they started to bully them Right. So much to the fact that people committed their students committed suicide.

Speaker 2: 18:36

Yeah, and that's something that is more common than is being talked about, which I always wonder about, right, that they they're not really highlighting just that, those small little areas of toxicity. Yeah, bully is a common term, right, but we have bullying throughout age groups, just like this quote on quote incident that I highlight in this book right, this was not a high school girl. These were people who had all graduated college, as we said, one of them was a medical professional, so they were like they were mid twenties, I would say they were young, but they had gone to college together, but they were all graduates. So in our society's eyes, they were adults.

Speaker 1: 19:19

Wow, such a waste.

Speaker 2: 19:21

Full blown adults who had gone through the educational system right, which is a whole side bar which we won't go down. We won't go down that road, but fully college educated individuals Get together and decide to come with a plan right To go viral Attacking this girl or fighting with her. What have you so? Never, gets to come home.

Speaker 1: 19:47

Matt, as you put it, in that aspect, let's uh, let's try to tighten it up a little bit. Are you saying that peer pressure is, and the and the need to be accepted could be stronger than your goals and your aspirations of doing something positive with your life? That peer pressure and the need to be accepted just overwhelms that and supersedes what, what you want for yourself as an individual? Yes, I am saying that, I'm insinuating.

Speaker 2: 20:28

I'm leaning on it. Um, not only that, but I'm seeing that it's residual. It's something that, yeah, it starts when we're, you know, in high school, quote, unquote, but you know there's adult peer pressure Like that's an actual term. It continues.

Speaker 1: 20:44

We're just we're walking yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Replicas of our former self. We just like. It's just a new environment, same trick, new game. Okay, talking about what?

Speaker 1: 20:55

part of the game? Is that part of the game? Is that?

Speaker 2: 20:57

What part of the game is that we're part of. The game, is that where, uh, you know, you can go through this, literally be a medical professional, someone who's actually supposed to be a part of a healing team and, and, and you know, interested in people's wellness, right From Monday through Friday, and on the weekend, go take someone out and thank you. Coming back to work on Monday, I think I'll be okay. Okay, all in the sake of what, like? It's so funny because everyone's like well, acceptance, acceptance, Right peer pressure peer pressure.

Speaker 2: 21:26

Like at what point? Because they, like I said these people weren't that, they weren't that tight, they clearly weren't friends of this girl, right, but you hear them egging each other on. Okay, everyone, I guess at some point agreed. There was some kind of agreement, right, it clearly wasn't to the victim's benefit. There was an agreement to go down there and do this to her, and I guess they thought they were being slick, right, doing that in Mexico, which ended up working against them, which I feel like is one of the reasons why it's so quiet. Why? Because now Mexico, the Mexican government, can pretty much do whatever they want With the attacker.

Speaker 2: 22:02

Now, just for the audience's sake, we do not have this case still, a year later, does not have closure, which is the biggest question mark of them all, because cases that are similar have been closed. They have been arrests in similar cases, right, where people have gone missing. You were talking to me about that beach Incident years ago, which is another example where people had gone missing. They were people found there. There were arrests made there. There were a few arrests made, I believe, with the college kids right who wound up being taken out by one of their Students, and we will clarify in links exactly which news stories we're referring to, right? But we are not mentioning names On this cast, for you know professionalism and, of course, legal reasons. But yeah, the question is, how is it that something that was caught on camera where you could clearly see there was a brutal attack which led to someone's death, there has been no arrest made it for up to a year later? Like, what part of the game is that?

Speaker 1: 23:03

yeah, that's crazy, and and under the term frenemies you have Not just people that appear to be your friends, but, if I have this correctly, it could be. Let's say, could a church member be a frenemy?

Speaker 2: 23:28

Oh, you're hitting on all the areas that I touch on Specifically, I think, like in the third or fourth chapter, when I go into the types of frenemies, churches, community groups that is where I believe they are born. Personally I believe they're born and because, yeah, see in church you don't have to go home with these people that you see in church, you don't technically have to like them, right, you just have to sort of smile and you know, provide that a gap. Hey, community love. Right, say cheese for appearances and you know, cook together Whatever your church does together, um, and then go home and Be.

Speaker 2: 24:07

You know, take the mask off, right, hang out with who you really like mom and I personally, like we talked about this weeks ago on another um vlog, um, on another podcast, just how you know, churches is pretty much these days A filler, to sort of ease people's consciousness. You kind of do what you need to do. I mean, people have said that for years anyway. You do what you want to do from like money through Friday, go to church, say a few heli marries. Yeah, I mean, feel better about yourself. It's not something that is what it used to be, where people were like devout or you know really about their faith, just with so many, so many changes in our society. But this isn't that type of right podcast today. Right, people's religion, but in general churches become more of a social circle. Right, a place to perhaps promote your business.

Speaker 2: 24:53

Okay, get your guilty conscience Suits right and you kind of like keep it moving, um, but yeah, so that's a perfect breeding ground to be surrounded by people who may not necessarily like you Right or or may not necessarily support you as a person. You know, and there's no way of you knowing that.

Speaker 1: 25:11

I had a movie and I'll watch. This thing is kicking up so many ideas now and I guess business partners Could be frenemies. Hello, this movie. You know it was interesting because a movie. These guys went into business together and they were doing great, but one of the partners had an ulterior motive and he wanted to eventually take over the business, sure, and so I guess the other guy thought that this was his friend, he was in business with.

Speaker 1: 25:47

When the friend's intention the alleged friend's intention was to eventually kill him and take over the business.

Speaker 2: 25:54

Well, you know, all's fair and no love in business, right? Business is the one area where you're allowed to be cold, right? Wow, it's business. So, even with your partner, even with your partner, yeah, yeah, you know you, you hope there's a sense of loyalty. That's why he's your partner, that's why you trust him. So you don't want that.

Speaker 1: 26:15

But there's a few movies that come to mind where business partners, or business partners and friends eventually butt heads, you know, or at some point excuse me, is there a way that we could, or the audience, we can, give the audience an idea or a leg up on how to spot or recognize a friend of me before it's too late?

Speaker 2: 26:40

Yes, and I don't want to give that away. But there is, I've broken it down. This is so important to me. You know, it's like a labor of love, because I feel like you know we can go about, go on about this, and I can first you and let you know by the time you finish.

Speaker 2: 26:53

Let's just say yes going through the pages, you will not only be a master of what a friend of me is, you'll know how to recognize a friend of me in your life, right, because again, I mentioned very clearly that your, your friends are either to recognize your true friends. They support you, they love you, they're consistent. Your enemies are also easy to recognize because they don't like you. They're haters, right, they're complaining about haters, but hey, guess what? At least you know who that person is. That's right. Be my hater, let me know. Okay, you're not feeling me. Okay, so when you want to left, I can go to the right. But it's the friend of me. That's the dangerous population. We don't know who they are. You're putting on a mask. You've pretended to care or or to be this, that and the third to me, and years later, I'm finding out who you are. We've had spouses, husbands and wives, right, which is also in the book a few examples of those famous couples who ended up splitting, and you know, yeah wife, that's a friend of me.

Speaker 1: 27:52

Can you imagine?

Speaker 2: 27:54

Yes, I can, I can imagine it's unfortunate, but the story is continued. You know about just the, the, what happens to break down a relationship. Many times it's just. At some point they lose trust for each other and start actually working against each other or competing at some point, because one feels hurt or, you know, one feels betrayed, and then it becomes this, this vendetta to avenge him or to avenge her for betraying you. Okay, and so you might have started off pure and in love, okay, only to end up with a friend of me on your hands in your own bed.

Speaker 1: 28:31

My wife is a friend of me. What part?

Speaker 2: 28:34

of the game is that.

Speaker 2: 28:36

Huh, I don't know. I couldn't even tell you Now, unless you you really are prepared with a action based okay System that doesn't allow you to just pick up any old friend, any old person you hang out with, call any old by your bestie. You need a criteria, the same way, right, ladies and young ones, a criteria of selection. Just go around calling anyone a friend Okay, and then like traveling with them God forbid or allowing people even the access to you to ever go that far with you without vetting them thoroughly first. You need a system. You need to know how to vet what I look for. What are the things that they shouldn't be saying? I mean, this book has so much detail and I love the fact that I use real life story. They use pieces of my own life. I mean this is wonderful, oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:38

We were even, you know, tatering around with the idea of a part two, because there's endless I realize this endless examples we could use in movies, in the media, with celebrities of people who wound up being hurt by someone closest to them. Okay, so, tale as old as time, and guess what else comes to mind? What is that? The bodyguard with when Houston, who ended up being the killer or the stalker of Whitney Houston?

Speaker 1: 30:10

I remember the more of it, but not in detail.

Speaker 2: 30:13

Rachel, rachel had a stalker right and remember the bodyguard, kevin Costner. Right Was guarding her.

Speaker 1: 30:20

Remember the actors in the movie, but who was it?

Speaker 2: 30:23

It winded up being her sister. Her sister paid someone to send her those crazy messages. Her sister was paying that hitman her own sister, and he finds out at the very end her sister, same blood running through her veins, but it made sense. Here she was, rachel Marin was the character of the successful singer, right, beautiful, all the attention and they were hello. They were both adults. This wasn't even like two kids fighting for attention. But her own sister had just developed this, this growing jealousy, I guess, that she couldn't control after a while. And the story goes that she, you know, she hired someone and then wanted to like call it off, but she couldn't write something of that nature. But she said it all in motion for someone to stalk her own sister.

Speaker 2: 31:07

That is a relative frenemy. Classic example of a relative frenemy. Yeah, okay, do you get any closer than sisters? Do we get any closer than sisters? No, we can't. Okay, right and so, and that's just one, that's just one movie. I personally believe, and we all can see that movies, you know, what do they do? To sew his life, okay, they tell the stories that we live, and so it's, it's important. This is the reason I broke down the types of frenemies, the things that they say, because sometimes people just say things to you that just don't really sound right. You're going to rub you the wrong way. It's a joke, but it's not a joke.

Speaker 1: 31:46

Exactly, I've come across it. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, there's so many hits and you feel it.

Speaker 2: 31:51

You just don't really know because no one has given it the language to say this is a friend of mine, boo yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:58

They like you but they don't like you. They probably never did. Okay, they're just getting close enough to you and having enough access to you right To strike when they're ready. Very, very important. And so, coming into the new year, my goal for everyone just to like wrap it up and, of course, the holidays are gonna probably like officially close around the 6th of January. I wanted to just make the book which I'm really I feel like it's a manual at this point available. Going into the school here, right Cause I think school, college, those are the key times where your friends are super important. I get it all right. You've gotta have someone. You've gotta walk down, you gotta walk to lunch or home room with someone. You can have friends. No one's saying you can't have friends. We all need them, we're human beings. But be selective and keep an eye out.

Speaker 1: 32:44

Keep an eye out. We need to drill and who is not, who is not?

Speaker 2: 32:47

Right, that's the essential question here, and I answer all of that in this book.

Speaker 1: 32:51

Okay, listen, aza.

Speaker 2: 32:54

Yes.

Speaker 1: 32:55

Kadaj.

Speaker 2: 32:56

Kadraj yes.

Speaker 1: 32:56

Kadraj, we definitely appreciate having you today on the show and before we go, I want you to give the audience one more time, a little detail about where to find your book, how to find your book, cause it definitely sounds like a must read.

Speaker 2: 33:14

It is so right now it's available for pre-order on Amazon. Right, we can add the links for you, but the hard copy is released on the 11th 111.

Speaker 1: 33:26

Is there a way that you have a blog or a website that they can connect with you on and, you know, maybe they might want to ask you questions?

Speaker 2: 33:35

Yes, yes, they can refer to knowlifefriendaminescom. We'll have the link to the book and, hopefully, an ongoing conversation for the community Outstanding.

Speaker 1: 33:44

Yes, I appreciate that, and well, folks, I guess that's the end of this episode. Be on the lookout. We may have a part two coming, and this is your host, og Goat, and we're signing off.

Speaker 2: 34:02

Awesome, happy holiday.