Triumph Over Tragedy: Emily Mutai's Story of Resilience Against the Struggles of Kenyan Womanhood

Emily Mutai's voice quivers with emotion as she recounts a childhood shattered by her father's alcoholism and a society that often turns a blind eye to the struggles of women. As a young mother in Kenya, her story unfolds with the rawness of heartbreak and the resilience of hope. This episode is a moving portrait of life's harshest trials and the unwavering spirit required to overcome them. Emily's experiences with disrupted education, the perils of single motherhood, and the dangers that African women face, serve as a stark reminder of the realities that lie beneath the surface of a continent often romanticized for its natural beauty but riddled with profound hardships.

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Through Emily's harrowing tale, we share the intimate moment of a mother reuniting with her daughter after a forced separation and the chilling escape from an abduction that could have ended in tragedy. Her story is not just one of survival but a poignant example of the extraordinary courage that lives within the heart of every woman who has faced similar adversities. Join us as Emily brings us into her world, a journey through the very essence of human endurance, and a testament to the strength found in the unlikeliest of places. This episode is more than just a conversation; it's an emotional expedition into the depths of what it means to fight for a better life against all odds.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:12

Before I begin this next episode, I would like to thank all those that have been following this podcast. What part of the game is that we are now in five continents worldwide, two of which we're striving to enter, which would be Australia and South America. Today we have a caller from Africa, A caller from Africa, a young lady, who's going to give us a short autobiography of what life is like for a young woman living in Africa. You will hear in this next episode this young lady, this young girl, pour her heart out about the things that she went through as a young girl living in Africa. This is their daily life. We don't realize this. This is their daily life.

Speaker 1: 1:48

I understand that there's issues in every state and every country. I understand that. But there's more to this than meets the eye. That's not mentioned in this episode the style of living I'm talking. I've seen pictures in some of the homes that they're living in. I mean, there's no kitchen, it's just like a tin roof and four walls. To go to the bathroom, you have to leave this little square box which is your home to go outside and down a hill to another small box which I guess would be like your outhouse. To go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1: 2:52

But here in 2024, in Africa, the continent that was rich in diamonds, or should I say the continent that is rich in diamonds and gold, for people to be living like this, it's just sad. I mean it's sad. I wish there was more that I could do to help people like this, but for now, I would like to at least get the story out. Let her explain what life is like For people that never been to Africa, that have no idea of what it's like. Sit back, Listen. Here is a young lady from Africa.

Speaker 2: 4:07

Hi, my name is Emily Mutay. I'm from Kenya, africa, and I'm 23 years old, single mom. I'm born in a family of two kids, me being one of them, my brother and I, and I'm going to tell you about my story since childhood till this age that I'm in now, and I hope you'll enjoy my story. Welcome. I was born in a family that was, I think was, the best in my times. The best family that any kid would love to have is theirs. So when my grandmother died that was a long time ago, I think it was like in 2007, 2008, my grandma died and since that day, life wasn't good. My dad started drinking, trying to fight my mom trying to sell stuff in their house. So my mom had to go away from my dad, live separately, where we didn't like that. But you know, the mother said we are going to live by ourselves, so we had to go and live there by ourselves. So when I was seven years seven years old my mom started doing odd jobs. Now you know she's a single mom, no job. She was married to a somehow rich family, but when they divorced, my dad sold almost everything, leaving my mom with just a bed, a table, no seats. So we had to start a new life. My dad was not bad, but he was a really great drunkard of his times. So when my dad went away, my mom lived this way. We had to cooperate with my mom, and life wasn't that bad, though, but my mom really struggled, really struggled that I really say that my mom really did something. Women go through a lot. I really saw that.

Speaker 2: 7:03

So when I finished my primary life, I went now to my high school life. Life wasn't that bad, though, but I started moving from house to house, going to my auntie, to my grandma school. Now, high school life was a bit different. I had to look like a big girl. When people are doing this, I'm told you know, you're a big girl now, so you need to do this and this, do this, and so I started growing up. But when I went to school, things were really, really, really bad. I wasn't bullied, because myself I looked like a bully. I was a big girl. So when these other two girls from three girls looked at me, they said now she's big, we are two-in-pig Now. They're saying they can't beat me. So I was saying now my body is now saving me. So at my former life, life was good.

Speaker 2: 8:15

We stayed well until a time when there's this girl. She was really big, like me. She was called Gloria, gloria I don't know the other name, but Gloria was my best friend. The problem here she liked boys, cute boys. So this girl will just come and tell me whoa, emily, you know what I found? Like this cute guy in a restaurant when I was coming to school. So I couldn't resist the guy. I had to take his number. Blah, blah, blah. So I was saying whoa, now you have to come with boyfriends and boys. Me, I didn't know those stuff. I was still, you know, that church girl, that good girl for mom. So they started telling me whoa. You know, when I heard that I was saying like, oh, so these people are having boyfriends I don't have. So you know that peer pressure. It pushed me to another step, where that when the school is closed, I'll be going with these girls to wherever they were going. That is in Akuru, a town in my place. I'll go with them to wherever they are going, do their stuff.

Speaker 2: 9:34

She was a girl from a rich family, richer than mine. She would buy us things, go to the streets, help some street children. So I was like and now she's a good girl. Those stuff, those boy stuff, why am I not seeing it? But it wasn't like that. That's how she does things. She confuses you first. She makes you to love her and see that she's the best.

Speaker 2: 10:05

Now we went to a restaurant after finishing distributing our stuff to those friends and we just sat there, started eating, and from there now something bad happened. I don't know if you're not going to believe this, but believe me, there is a guy, a muzungu guy, a white guy, that came. I didn't know she was a boyfriend to this girl. So you know, I was just like whoa, this girl's just come to our table, who is he? But when the guy approached, approached where we were sitting, this girl woke up, hugged this guy and then they started talking. Even this girl knew her. So I knew that this girl had been to Kenya for long.

Speaker 2: 11:04

So that day went off like that. I didn't ask the girl who is she, but when school opened we were not talking. I didn't have any phone to talk to this girl. So when school opened I met the girl in school and then told her oh girl, who is that guy? Now she started telling me you know, that's my guy, if you want one girl, I'll do something for you. Guess what, when we were in school, she would teach me how to look at teachers in a sexy way. So I'd be looking at teachers and saying this teacher is cute. She'd tell me no, that's not cute. Have you seen that, mr who?

Speaker 2: 11:55

Then I'll tell her, mr who, our English teacher was the best and the cutest teacher in the school. He was really handsome. Yeah, he was really, really handsome. So when we were in school this teacher would come in class. I was the best in English in class. So this when the teacher comes, the student would do you see that teacher? Now that teacher would come and start blushing. I don't know what to say. One of these teachers again is now. I'd push myself to write many compositions, so at least I'll be near the teacher. Talking to the teacher when the teacher comes in class he praises me. That made me really nice.

Speaker 2: 12:47

So when we were about to close school, we started again planning for the next meetup with this new guy that Gloria was planning to. To what we say, he wanted me to mingle with that guy. So I didn't refuse. We closed that's a second term. We closed when to when, to the usual hotel we should go. Then he brought me a black guy and I was like ah, I was waiting for a white guy. Why is it a black guy that you're bringing here? You know I was obsessed with white guys. So this girl was like so you just stay with this one for the time being. Then I said no, there are a lot of guys better than this in my area. Now we started just, and we, we, we weren't getting along anymore because I saw, like why is he choosing for me such a guy while he's having the best, the best guy? So I went home for the holiday, started this boy, boy, stuff. I started wearing weird clothes till I met up this guy. So this guy I met during the holiday was crashing on me and asked ladies, we all know that you know when a guy is crashing on you, it's either you love him back or you're just making suffer. You pretend that you love the guy, but you're not. So this guy, I loved him back, you know. So, on loving this guy, I didn't know that I was. I was landing myself to other, more problems. I even didn't know that these were the ways that I was ruining my future.

Speaker 2: 15:03

So there is this day that this guy started coming to my place not my place where I stay, but who would call me? Tell me, come to the road, we talk and I would go. Anything he asked me, I never refused, and whenever he wanted to have sex with me, I never accepted. Do you know why I never accepted to have sex with this guy. I never wanted because I was busy telling this guy my brother said it is bad having sex when you are not done schooling. You can get pregnant. So this guy didn't like me that much because I was. He even told me I don't like hearing you saying that about too much about your brother. So we continued like this. Then we started getting along.

Speaker 2: 16:22

When there is this day that my cousin I think my cousin was jealous at me when he saw this guy, I think she also liked this guy. So my cousin one day set me up and made that guy to come to my place. And you know it's not allowed In Africa. Your boyfriend can't come to your place. It's always bad and it's like you are being disrespectful to the person you are going to their house. It's like you are not even respecting your own parents. It's really bad. When a guy comes to the girl's place, you know doing that and you don't know what the future holds. Maybe that guy could be your husband and he has already come to your place so he can't marry you. It's always impossible. So, as I told you earlier, I love this guy for real, but after the setup. We never got along. He forgave me for giving out his number to my cousin, but what he never liked was me being the friend to my cousin. So I also loved my cousin, so I could not hear what he told me. So we stayed.

Speaker 2: 17:57

I went back to school, but we had broken up when I was going back to school. By the way, I never studied when I was at home. I was busy with guys, guys, guys doing this. I was only busy with men. I'll come and tell you why. About this man? What happened? Why was I doing this? But let me just tell you now it was because of the peer pressure I was getting in school. You remember those girls were telling me oh me, I have this white guy. Oh me, my guy is rich. So I was like, why don't I have this rich guy? Why don't I have? I was just pressured. I was trying to look for a perfect man who, when I tell him, hey, babe, I want this and it will bring me exactly what I said. So when I went back to school, I continued studying. Very well, that was the second time. I even tried to work hard because I had started failing in school. My mom was worried. She started coming to school and my auntie checking up on me. So I decided to let me improve myself so that at least I can change something with the results that I got earlier. So the second term ended. Now we are going for the third term so that I can go to the next class.

Speaker 2: 19:39

So for me in school I started avoiding these girls Because of whenever I went with them or started talking to them, I had this peer pressure. They would come up and say you see me, I usually use this body lotion. I usually they are from the rich guys, but for me I wasn't from a rich family. I also lied to them then told them you know, my mom is an engineer, she's doing this, but my mom was just a usual worker. She had no money, she only had to work hard for us to study. I knew it, but I usually lied. My mom is an engineer, my mom was doing this, my mom, but all our lies.

Speaker 2: 20:30

When we did our exam I failed terribly Because that was not the marks that everyone expected, even my teachers. They saw me that I was clever, but I don't know why did I fail? Because I had stopped following those girls. So when I went home my mom told me you know, I want you to go to a church camp Because I think you need somebody to cancel you. So you know, church camps it was only for guidance and counseling and it was always really nice. But there I knew that guys were mainly there, so I didn't want to go. I decided to stay at home. I thought I'd stop once thing I, when I was being sent to the shop or maybe told go, go, go to the sawmill, I would go, me and my cousin, until I met this new guy again.

Speaker 2: 21:35

After we had left the that first guy, I met another guy and this guy I will say I Changed my life, like Changed my life until now. That was the only guy that I Think I loved the guy. But you know what? We dated for like three days. The fourth day I Looked like I was cheap, but I think it's God's plan. You know I had to sleep with him to put that I Loved him. That's how we do here. Some of us do that. But bad luck. I had really really bad luck. Let's change my life.

Speaker 2: 22:29

So after going to school, life was smooth. Nothing was really hard there. I had new friends, I Saw students like me there. But the problem is that I Don't know I whenever I was in school, everything was great. I Just look like everything was perfect with me. I Didn't know that there was. There was something like a devil just watching me by the fence there, wanting me to just get out of school and Help me to mess up my simple life in school. I just wish that, if we could have powers they only wish that I Would want Is the power to see these demons that Just come from nowhere start such a really near plans your future. In Africa we believe that they are demons. By the way, I Know some of Africans don't believe, but for me I know they are because I almost saw it. But it always happens to me. So many stuff happens to me which makes me believe that this, this is the devil, is the demon, this that thing that it wants me to do something, but because I can't do it the way it wants, it decided it will decide just to ruin my future. Can you just imagine, after just going back to school, the first month, second month, everything was very perfect until this thing came. Corona came.

Speaker 2: 24:27

When corona came, I had no option but to go back home, of which I never wanted to get out of the school, even if the disease was so bad. I begged my mother and told her that, mom, I want to stay to school until the day these things out. I can stay with any teacher so that I I Can be helping. Do you know, my mother refused. Even I was wondering why did would? She refused? And by me staying with a teacher that she would help me come recover my lost Knowledge in those other classes, I knew that I could perform better by the help of the teachers. They in school, who, who also lived far and had to stay in school, can imagine that the only thing I was only afraid of wasn't going home. It was that devil that was always waiting for me somewhere To come and just ruin everything that I'm I'm trying to make and the mistakes I I tried to mend. So when my mother refused, I had to go and Ongoing I I met with a few challenges on my way to my way back home.

Speaker 2: 25:59

There are my three classmates who I met when I wanted to Go, but they told me why, why don't you stay? Then we'll go a bit later. I had no choice because I knew the work, my classmates and I didn't suspect anything bad, I just stayed. They, they took me to their Resting place in town it's in Kapenguria town. So we just say, stay there for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 2: 26:39

Then this gas decided to tell me that you know what, you know, if our boyfriends, yeah, we think for them to come out of their classes then and they didn't mean classes, classes for high school, it was classes, classes for the campus. I didn't know, but I will. I had to sit there and wait. I don't know what they were planning, but whenever, when, when, when they started talking in their language, they were poor court so I couldn't understand everything. So when, when this girl started planning their own things they are not telling me what's going on I stayed there another 30 minutes.

Speaker 2: 27:28

Time was going, the presence going was far and you remember I told you there was always this devil, this somebody that would only stand somewhere and watch me. It could never take over me. I don't know about stand. I, even even right now, I know, is always somewhere watching me, waiting for the perfect time to come and ruin me. But sometimes prayers help not even sometimes always prayers help. So when this girl started telling me how we want to go and buy clothes so that we can wear them when going to their house. I Told them you know, I was into this company when I was entering from one high school Two years back and I had to drop out of school because of Pregnancy and being ignorant and just being that nasty, nasty lady. Now this girl started seeing me. Now she's worthless. I didn't know they had another guy there who wanted a new girl like me.

Speaker 2: 28:43

So on, going on, just walking away on them and going to about my, the car that I would used to go home, they started my marrying stuff. And then one girl came and told me have these thousand shillings but stay. I told her you know what? I have more than enough money. You stay with your money. I didn't refuse the money, by the way. I Took and told her if you are giving it for free, I'll take it, but if you want me to stay, I can't. Then she just decided okay, just take it Me. I took it and Went on my way. I bought some stuff to eat with the money because, by the way, I didn't have much money. I Only pretend that I had a lot of stuff, but I never had money In school I even had to sell my sweater, my new sweater, so that I could have a bit money for Is my pocket money. I know most of you are wondering what happened to me now after taking the money and going back home.

Speaker 2: 30:08

On going back home, when I reached my home, everything was fine. My kid had missed me, that she had forgotten me, so I had the whole night to try to talk to her. By the time it reached morning my daughter remembered me. But the problem now was that when I was there, there is this cousin of mine who always wanted to be the best and the winner of all, who pretended that he never did any mistakes and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and those stuff. When I reached home I started telling them my stories. But whenever I tried to tell them, this guy would come and tell me he should have gone to work. We just lied to us here. This led to me starting heading home. I even didn't want to stay near the family. Now I think it was the effect of the thousands shelling that I was given for free when I was coming.

Speaker 2: 31:14

I was pressured I had to go back to that first boyfriend because the other one wasn't there, he was dead. I had to go back to the first boyfriend. I would go there. He accompanies me, talks to me. He wasn't bad, by the way, he was just nice. But sitting around a guy would lead to some other stuff. Every evening I would go to this guy's home, stay there until around at night and then come back home. I did that for like a week when I was thinking the corona stuff would end. Now it started getting bigger and bigger every day. I knew that I would not go back to school. So I was saying like, oh God, I just went to school. Now I'm back again and though I never wanted home for me home wasn't home Since I had my first baby, people started hating me, started using me as an advice to their kids.

Speaker 2: 32:28

They would just go and tell their kids you know, don't be like this guy. You see, his mother paid, my mother just paid. They'll tell them her mother has paid her school fees, done for everything, but she still had the guest to have her baby. That thing put me down a lot. I usually felt really bad and after those all bad talkings about me I usually felt just bad but like doing something unthinkable, but this guy would my boyfriend now would make me feel at home when I went to his that I didn't know that I was messing up. I didn't remember that I took someone's money without anything. I didn't know this money wasn't good money. I didn't know that the 1000 shillings that I was given was now messing up my life and that day for that I told you always, was always watching me, wanted to a place that it was perfect to him to come and fit himself in. Now the money was messing up.

Speaker 2: 33:58

On this other side, my life was getting bad, bad, bad.

Speaker 2: 34:01

Every day. I had nothing to do. I started falling sick, falling sick After one month of staying at home that my mother had to take me to the hospital. Do you know, when I went to the hospital, the thing that they found in my body was I was pregnant For the second time and I'm still in school. I felt like killing myself. I even went and told the daddy that I want to abort the baby and he accepted. But he accepted, really. But when I gained my senses, I remember that I can die. Why should I even do that? I went back to this guy and told him my mother has chased me from home and he has told me to come to your home. And then this guy, when going there, he said the pregnancy isn't his. I had to fight for myself, but the more I tried, the more it got worse. I had to go somewhere.

Speaker 2: 35:13

So my other thing that was in mind was that I will go to a witch doctor and explain my problem and then he'll help me out. So I went to a town near the place I was. I started asking for a witch doctor. I don't know if I could have done that, but there is a guy that told me getting a witch doctor is easy, but the problem is money. You can go to a witch doctor and the doctor would ask for a lot of money, which I can't afford In the situation of yours. The witch doctor can do anything to you if you don't pay them their own money or what they want. Now I have to give up. You know here which doctors do real stuff.

Speaker 2: 36:10

I wanted to make this guy if he tried to sleep with another lady. He wanted him to stick with the lady until they called me so that he can tell me why can he do that while I'm pregnant and when I told him that the pregnancy was his. He didn't want it. He would say it's not his. So I wanted to revenge it on him. But somebody talked to me and then told me you know, just leave this guy. You'll have the baby soon and if it's for that guy, you'll just take the baby there.

Speaker 2: 36:45

Now I was relieved, but I could not go back home. I had to go to a town near my place I had. This guy was my friend. I told him can you accommodate me for two days? I search for any work and then a place to stay. Then I'll go. The guy accepted and never took advantage of me.

Speaker 2: 37:16

You know, in my place not even in my place most of the ladies in Kenya suffer. They suffer a lot. Some ladies here, so that they can get to work to feed their families. They have to have sex with these big bosses and be employed. They just can't employ you for free.

Speaker 2: 37:41

There's this guy that I told him that. Can you? Can you add me to your security team? You do know the thing that he told me. He told me it's okay, I'll add you, I'll give you everything. Even there's a house. I'll assist you to stay there until the time that you are okay, but you have only to give me one thing for several days. I told him what's that? He told me if I sleep with you like the whole night for three days, I'll do anything you want. I was like I'm already pregnant. You know, this guy didn't know I'm pregnant. Yeah, it was just like a secret to me because I wouldn't. I wouldn't go around telling people I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. So when I told this guy you know what? I don't want the job, it's okay. He started abusing me, even wanted to beat me up in the house. Then I told me it's my thing, why would you want to beat me up for it? I will never forget that.

Speaker 2: 38:55

So I decided to go to my anti-splice. I had to abort the car because I saw here there was no hope, there was no job. But I didn't have enough money to go back to my anti-splice, you know. So I had to go to the car and try to beg the conductor there to help me. Just take the the hundred shillings and go there. Now I didn't know that the transport had gone high by a fifty shillings. This guy accepted and then I went to the car and I had paid a hundred shillings.

Speaker 2: 39:33

I and I, I didn't think that there was something bad would happen when I, when I read the place. Do you know that when I, when I was about to read the place, people are just coming down, going up, coming down, going up until the place that I was going. I thought that I would already tell them I was. I was going down at a place called this. These guys took me, they took me to a place even I didn't know, and I was the only one in the car, with the conductor and the driver, but and I was the only girl in the car they took me to a place that took almost 30 minutes, when they were driving first, really first, and when I remember that day, it was hell. That was the worst day in my life.

Speaker 2: 40:32

This took me to a forest. I thought the only thing that was in my head that today I'm going to be killed. First I knew that they are going to rape me and kill me. So when this they didn't know I was pregnant. So I had that carrier bag with a book inside which I was only carrying it on my hand. They told me come down from the car. I came down, come, let's go this way. I went the way. They told me I was scared, I could not do anything. I could not even alert somebody to help me, I was only cared. I had some paints in my stomach that I could not even talk about it. Then, when we read the place, they told me sit down. I sat down. Then they started calling some guys on their phone so as I, when I saw they were busy, I just took my book, started saying let me read this. Maybe it will be my last thing to read here the book that I had.

Speaker 2: 41:29

When I was reading, this guy came and look at me and looked at the book and then asked me are you pregnant? Then I told them yes, how many months? I told him three months and then they started telling why didn't you tell us? Why would you waste our time? Then I told him waste your time? How I didn't tell you to bring me here? This other guy came, told me to sleep down and then I saw him trying to open his belt while the other one was just standing there doing it. So when he wanted to start his that stuff like it was like it was just like a rep, because I didn't accept it anything he told me he was doing it forcefully. This guy told him what? Just leave this lady. She's already pregnant. So I don't know what they wanted to do to me. I don't know if they they had something else in them that they wanted to. I don't. I don't know.

Speaker 2: 42:32

Since that day after they took me back and left me on the road where I worked like one hour 30 minutes to reach my auntie's place, I've never talked about that thing that happened. I've even never met these people. I've been trying to go to stages and try to find these people. I wanted to report them but I never found them. I just say that it's God. Women here in Africa. I knew that we are all passing through a lot, but most of us don't talk about it. Can you imagine what I saw when I was pregnant? What if I wasn't pregnant? I think it's God. What if I wasn't pregnant? I don't know their target was what, but I, it's God that saved me that day. It's God, god.