Episode 87: Preparing For Life's Unexpected Events
May 30, 2024
HTSJ Institute
What if preparing for the unexpected could be your greatest act of self-love? In this episode of the Self-Care Society podcast, Lashanna offers transformative insights on how to manage stress and prioritize self-care amidst life's uncertainties. Lashanna deepens our understanding of 'paying yourself first' by extending this principle beyond financial stability to encompass mental and emotional readiness. Through mindfulness practices, she guides us on staying present and recognizing how our bodies respond to stress. Learn how meditation and positive affirmations can foster inner peace and resilience, equipping you to handle life's unforeseen challenges more effectively.
Ever noticed how harsh your self-talk can be during stressful times? Lashanna sheds light on this common issue and encourages replacing those negative thoughts with uplifting and positive self-talk. She emphasizes the importance of engaging in joyful and relaxing activities, such as walking, biking, or roller skating, as a means to emotionally brace for the unexpected. By tuning in, you'll gain practical tips and strategies for enhancing your mental wellness and emotional resilience. Remember, self-care is not a luxury—it's essential for your well-being.
What if preparing for the unexpected could be your greatest act of self-love? In this episode of the Self-Care Society podcast, Lashanna offers transformative insights on how to manage stress and prioritize self-care amidst life's uncertainties. Lashanna deepens our understanding of 'paying yourself first' by extending this principle beyond financial stability to encompass mental and emotional readiness. Through mindfulness practices, she guides us on staying present and recognizing how our bodies respond to stress. Learn how meditation and positive affirmations can foster inner peace and resilience, equipping you to handle life's unforeseen challenges more effectively.
Ever noticed how harsh your self-talk can be during stressful times? Lashanna sheds light on this common issue and encourages replacing those negative thoughts with uplifting and positive self-talk. She emphasizes the importance of engaging in joyful and relaxing activities, such as walking, biking, or roller skating, as a means to emotionally brace for the unexpected. By tuning in, you'll gain practical tips and strategies for enhancing your mental wellness and emotional resilience. Remember, self-care is not a luxury—it's essential for your well-being.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Self-Care Society podcast with your hosts Celia Williamson, ashley Kuchar, louie Guardiola and Keri Shaw, a podcast devoted to those whose job it is to help others get or remain mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, but who also need to take care of themselves. And how we're going to do this? By first showing you the filtered, pretty version of success, and then the real struggles, real work and raw grit it took to get there, how they took care of themselves and also achieve their goals while doing it together. We will work with you to improve and maintain your internal health and growth, while helping you achieve your external goals and your next professional achievement in life, and we're excited to show you how to follow your own individual and unique path and achieve the dreams you have while taking good care of yourself. So let's get started.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back everyone to the self-care podcast. I am Lashana Alfred, and today I want to share with you this whole idea of preparing for life unexpected events. Preparing for life, unexpected events. It reminds me of when my husband used to always tell me to pay myself first. Right, he wanted me to pay myself first, just in case you know anything happened. In the case of an emergency, I will have finances available. And usually, when you hear about being prepared for life unexpected things, we have, we're prepared for financial setbacks or maybe job loss and those type of things, but no one ever really talks to us. How do we prepare ourselves for an unexpected diagnosis, health diagnosis? How do we prepare ourselves? And today I really want to share with you ways that we can prepare ourselves from life unexpected events. Not just saving up for a rainy day, but literally using skills, techniques, methods to help us prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for some of the unexpected things that will surely happen in this thing called life.
Speaker 2:
And number one is what we call stress management stress management. So, just like with this self-care group, this whole thing designed for you to make sure you're taking care of self oh yeah, we're good at taking care of everyone else. We will stay up late. You know, go wake up early, making sure we get kids off to school, making sure we meet deadlines and all of that. And we fail to put in the same energy, the same effort when it comes to us taking care of ourselves. And so everything about this self-care group, the podcast, is designed to help you make sure you put the oxygen mask on you first. Yes, you heard me. Everything about this self-care group, the self-care podcast, is literally designed to help you make sure that, while you're helping everyone else, you don't forget yourself. We're teaching you how to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. And that, my friend, is not selfish. Taking care of you is not selfish.
Speaker 2:
So how do we prepare for life unexpected events from a mental and emotional standpoint? So, when we're looking at stress management, a couple of things we want to do. When it comes to stress management, we want to practice mindfulness. A lot of people try to stay away from it because they're so used to their minds racing that when we find ourselves having quiet time, we don't know what to do, right, maybe some, you know, suppressed trauma begins to come and overwhelm us. But in order for us to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for life, unexpected events. We have to make sure we cultivate a practice of mindfulness in our daily activity, and mindfulness doesn't have to be anything deep or anything you know, spooky right.
Speaker 2:
Really, what it is is just you sitting still and paying attention to every aspect of you, not allowing your mind to race into deadlines and what you have to do or really be stuck in the past of what has already happened, but literally allowing yourself to be present in the moment and noticing what's happening with you right now, in this moment, and even as I'm talking, I want you to just really practice that. As you're listening to me, whether you're driving in your car, whether you're at home or at work, I want you to really pause and see how is your body, what's your body's posture, what's happening? Where's your mind at? Is your mind racing? Is it more external or is it internal? Are you having an internal dialogue, what's happening right now? And really allowing yourself to just be aware of what's happening right now, in this moment? Are you noticing any tension in your shoulder area? Maybe there's a feeling in your pit, the pit of your stomach, because maybe you just got some news, some news, whatever it is, it's just you recognizing in this moment what's happening. How is your body responding to stress? If you're happy, and how do you know that if you're sad, what's telling you that you're sad? Being right here in this moment, what's telling you that you're angry? What are you noticing? And so, when we cultivate this practice of mindfulness, it helps us to be present, and in being present, we're able to kind of navigate through this thing called life and really be as prepared as possible for the unexpected.
Speaker 2:
Along with that same line of stress management is meditation. All of us meditate. It's just a lot of us meditate on the wrong thing. A lot of us are either meditating on things that is not going right, things that has already happened to us, things that has not yet happened. But when I'm talking about meditation, I'm talking about literally being intentional, about where your focus is. And so if you want to be at peace, then when you're meditating, you're meditating on things that help you be at peace. Maybe you'll find yourself at the beach, or you know and just meditating on the accomplishments that you've made so far.
Speaker 2:
Maybe you're going to meditate on a positive quote, an affirmation. You're going to meditate on a positive quote, an affirmation, Whatever it is. You want to make sure you're meditating on things that will help you feel good about you. Meditate on things that will remind you of how awesome you are, how reliable. Meditate on those things.
Speaker 2:
And there's a lot of different relaxation techniques. Maybe try yoga, going to the gym, maybe just a walk around the neighborhood or in the park. These are things that will help us manage stress, and so we need to practice these things before the unexpected happens, because when the unexpected happens, we're going to go to what we naturally go to, right? So, and what do I mean by that when the unexpected happens, if my natural go to when I'm stressed or feeling overwhelmed is to maybe drink alcohol or, you know, go to sleep, or if that's my natural go to when life unexpected events happen, that's what I'm going to do. But when I cultivate this practice of mindfulness and meditation and other relaxation techniques, when I cultivate that on a regular basis when life unexpected events happen, then I'm going to go to what I know bring me peace and calm.
Speaker 2:
Also, therapy and counseling. Seek professional help when dealing with anxiety, depression or any other mental illness. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Again, life comes with a load of unexpected events and, just like you may save up for a rainy day. I want you, or encourage you, to practice some of these stress management skills. So, when life happens unexpectedly, you won't lose it, you won't throw in the towel, you won't quit, you will make up in your mind that you're going to make it through, whatever this difficulty is, that you're going to survive, and not just survive, but you're going to thrive.
Speaker 2:
Before these things happen, get involved in some hobbies or identify some interests that you may have. Engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation. I remember, you know, a few years back, when my son was shot. Prior to that happening, I was at the gym every morning 6 am, and after the incident happened, I continued to go to the gym every morning 6 am. And after the incident happened, I continued to go to the gym and although I was crying and I was overwhelmed, it was something about that regular activity that I had already incorporated into my life. It helped me survive that season of my life. It helped me survive that season of my life. It helped me manage my emotions during that season.
Speaker 2:
So, whatever it is, you want to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. So when life unexpected events happen, you won't lose it. You won't get so depressed. And don't get me wrong, we'll be sad, and sadness is in order when we lose a loved one or we're faced with the unexpected. Those things, those emotions, are in order. It is okay to not be okay. What we want to make sure is that we don't stay there, because there are some people that have not been okay for years. So there's nothing wrong with not being at your you know, the top of your game or feeling just joy and free all the time. It's nothing. You may not have that every day.
Speaker 2:
So when you do have those moments, those seasons where things just don't seem to be going right, embrace it. Don't judge it. Recognize it and allow yourself to continue to move forward. So I encourage you, identify some things that you could be interested in. If it's going to yoga, if it's getting involved in a group exercise team, if it's going on a walk or a swim team, whatever activity that you can get involved in that brings you joy and relaxation, make up in your mind that you're going to start that now, not next year, not a month from now, but now, because why put off for tomorrow what we can literally do today?
Speaker 2:
The second thing is seek counseling, get into therapy so you can establish relationships, so when life unexpected things happen, you have someone that you trust, that you can kind of process with. And then the other thing was practice mindfulness, practice mindfulness. You can do it in your car, you can do it at home. You don't need a guide. All you have to do is literally sit wherever you are and just bring your attention to the different parts of you. And just bring your attention to the different parts of you, just noticing what's happening.
Speaker 2:
If your mind is racing, instead of judging it, just notice it. If you're finding yourself feeling anxious, just notice it. Don't judge it. Pay attention to the harsh talk. Pay attention to harsh talk. A lot of us speak harshly to ourselves internally. Pay attention to that. Get rid of it and practice positive self-talk, encouraging yourself, self-talk, encouraging yourself and other relaxation techniques. Go on walks, ride a bike, go roller skating, rotor blade, but identify an activity that brings you joy and relaxation and this will help you prepare for life unexpected events. An emotional standpoint. Again, this is Lashana Alfred. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:
I'm going to talk to you soon. That concludes this week's episode. And remember, it's not selfish, it's self-care.
