Embark with me, Mariana, as we navigate the intricate tapestry of cultural expectations surrounding Latina women, a journey both personal and universal. We dissect the complex legacy of Marianismo, a framework sculpted by the reverence of the Virgin Mary, and its enduring influence on the lives of women in Mexican Catholic culture. The contrast between this and its male counterpart, Machismo, reveals a nuanced portrait of gender roles and the profound impact they have on family dynamics and personal aspirations. Our conversation is an invitation to challenge the status quo, inspiring a shift towards empowerment and understanding through the shared stories of strength and resilience.
As we tear down the pillars of traditional gender roles, we tackle the sensitive issue of domestic violence and the shadow it casts on the Latina community. By scrutinizing Biblical passages that have been misinterpreted to enforce inequality, such as Ephesians 5:22-25, we aim to uncover a more balanced message of mutual love and respect. Join us in a heartfelt discussion that promises not only to enlighten but to ignite a passion for change, creating a space where the voices of Latina women are heard, their struggles acknowledged, and their triumphs celebrated. This is more than a discussion—it's a movement toward a more equitable future.
Embark with me, Mariana, as we navigate the intricate tapestry of cultural expectations surrounding Latina women, a journey both personal and universal. We dissect the complex legacy of Marianismo, a framework sculpted by the reverence of the Virgin Mary, and its enduring influence on the lives of women in Mexican Catholic culture. The contrast between this and its male counterpart, Machismo, reveals a nuanced portrait of gender roles and the profound impact they have on family dynamics and personal aspirations. Our conversation is an invitation to challenge the status quo, inspiring a shift towards empowerment and understanding through the shared stories of strength and resilience.
As we tear down the pillars of traditional gender roles, we tackle the sensitive issue of domestic violence and the shadow it casts on the Latina community. By scrutinizing Biblical passages that have been misinterpreted to enforce inequality, such as Ephesians 5:22-25, we aim to uncover a more balanced message of mutual love and respect. Join us in a heartfelt discussion that promises not only to enlighten but to ignite a passion for change, creating a space where the voices of Latina women are heard, their struggles acknowledged, and their triumphs celebrated. This is more than a discussion—it's a movement toward a more equitable future.
Hola, amigas, and welcome to another episode of Mommy on a Mission podcast, the podcast that empowers Latina women, and all women, to reach their impossible goals, one dream at a time. I'm your host, mariana, the author of Mommy on a Mission, a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence. And today we are going to dive deep into a topic that resonates with many of us, and this is actually a term that I had never heard before until recently, when I was listening to another podcast and this term came up, and it's called Marianismo. Now we're all familiar with the word machismo, but what exactly is Marianismo and how does Marianismo compare to machismo? How do they differ, but yet how do they come together as one? So, before we get started, grab your cafecito, sit back, relax for a few minutes and let's enjoy this Saturday morning as we dive into this specific topic.
Speaker 1:
Hello, hello and welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast, where empowerment meets inspiration. I'm your host, mariana, a life coach and author, on a mission to help Latina women, and all women, to reach their impossible goals, one dream at a time. Join me on this incredible adventure as we dive into compelling subjects that will uplift, motivate and ignite your passion. Get ready to be inspired, empowered and never give up on your dreams? This is the podcast where we turn dreams into unstoppable missions. Are you ready? Let's go? Okay, amigos, so first of all, let me just say how grateful and thankful that I am that you are joining me again this morning for another episode. It's always so exciting when I get to just spend a little bit of time with you all in the morning, because we need that right, we need that comadrismo, we need that community of women to just come together. It's just almost like that time when you're comadriando and you start talking about all kinds of topics and things, and so this is what the podcast is all about it's for us to just come together and just have that cafecito and just let's talk about whatever is on our minds today.
Speaker 1:
So one of the things that I want to talk about today is marianismo. So, as I mentioned earlier, marianismo is a term that I recently stumbled across when I was listening to this podcast, and it caught my attention because one my name is Mariana and it's like wow, okay, so is there an actual word out there that defines or is about something else? So I wanted to dig deep a little bit into what marianismo was all about, and what I discovered is that it's a term that is deeply rooted in the Mexican culture, more specifically the Mexican Catholic culture. It's representing the societal expectations of women to embody qualities of virginity, self-sacrifice and unquestioning devotion to family. But how exactly did this term come to be? Well, from what I was reading, historically, marianismo finds its roots in the reverence of the Virgin Mary. So, again, I'm talking more so about the Mexican Catholics. Right, they are all about their little virgencita. They pray to her, they go to her, and this is who they see as their ideal woman. Right, and let's not mistake, you know Mary, when she was selected by God, she was the mother of Jesus. She was the one who was selected by God to, you know, carry baby Jesus and bring him to life. Right, and so I can see why many of us would be driven to her, because she is. She's that representation. She is that holy woman that was selected by all women to be the mother of the human form of God. So this ideal has shaped the expectations placed on Latina women, influencing their roles within the family and society, and it's fascinating to see how cultural history intertwines with our present mind.
Speaker 1:
Now, before I get further into Marianismo, I also want to talk a little bit about the counterpart, which is Machismo. While Marianismo sets expectations for women, machismo reinforces traditional male roles, and I'm going to say Latino roles or Mexican roles, often associated with dominance and assertiveness, and these two, unfortunately, can create a cycle feeding into each other. Okay, so many of us, as we think of our culture especially myself, because I did grow up in a traditional Mexican culture where the mindset is you know, the woman is la ama de la casa. You know ella es la que va a cuidar a los niños. You know she's going to make sure that her husband is taking care of the children, are taking care of the house, is going to be clean. She is going to be, in a sense, obedient to her husband. She's going to sacrifice her life in order to be, you know, the one in charge of the whole family dynamics.
Speaker 1:
Right, and I've seen this a lot where a lot of Mexican women will go to universities and I'm talking about in Mexico now, and I'm not talking about here, but where a lot of Mexican women have gone to universities, have gotten their degrees and then, lo and behold, they sacrificed their whole time to go to college because in their mind they had this plan, that they wanted to have a career. But the minute that they encounter a husband, or they get married and start forming a family, they have to sacrifice themselves for their children and it's no longer about their dreams, it's no longer about their hopes, their aspirations. Oh, no, no, no, no. We, you know, we can't think about ourselves anymore. You know, we have children, so we've got to sacrifice everything that we wanted for ourselves and we've got to pour it back into our children. We've got to pour that into our husband. We've got to be these, you know, submissive women that don't say a word, that don't do anything, and we've got to paint, like this beautiful, perfect picture that we have this awesome and wonderful family. The wife, you know, is fixed up and she's doing everything that she can to please her husband.
Speaker 1:
Well, for many here in the United States, when we hear this, we're like what? But it's true, it's true and in some ways it's still so very much like that in Mexico and, like I said, I'm speaking for Mexico because that is where my family's from, and so we have the tendency to grow up with that, or we see that mentality. I've seen it, especially if you're a first generation American and your family is deeply rooted in Mexico. You will see that why? Because they are one foot out of Mexico, and so I remember.
Speaker 1:
You know my mom was the homemaker. She was the one that was taking care of us kids. She was cooking, she was cleaning, she was sewing, she was doing all of the things that she had to have the house be a certain way, it had to look a certain way, we had to dress a certain way whenever she was with my dad, and so she had to play this role. But here's the negative side of all of that that it gave permission for the husband to be the dominant and assertive person in the family, although he was the one that was working, he was providing financially for the family. But in some ways men are growing up to where, no, you've got to do everything that I say, whatever it is that I do. If I'm out drinking, if I'm out with other women, you don't say nothing, you don't talk back to me.
Speaker 1:
And I saw this a lot, especially around in my house, and I also saw it when I would go visit my my mom's mom, how my uncle was with my thea and how he would just be, you know, like a certain way and he would just physically hurt her. So domestic violence is something that I saw growing up, but it was almost like it was a natural, normal thing. Now, if the woman accepted it, she accepted it in silence because she didn't want to contradict anyone, and it was almost like if you spoke or if you said anything, it's like no, pues es que si es así, es es que les hombre? And it was almost like it was excusing the man's behavior. Well, when you're growing up here in America, things are a little bit different. Now, I'm not going to say that there's not American men or white men or black men that have this mentality, or that there there aren't Puerto Ricans or Dominicans or whatever that have this mentality, because I think for a lot of people that mentality can be there, especially when we, you know, dig a little bit deeper into scripture.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so one of the scriptures that I think gets misinterpreted a lot by many, especially those that are male dominant, is Ephesians 5, 22 and 25. So the verses talk about the idea of submission and love within a marital relationship. So the concept of Marianismo and Machismo refers to traditional gender roles in some cultures where women are expected to be submissive and men to be dominant right. So in the Bible verses it suggests that wives should submit to their husbands, but it's important to understand that this in the broader context of mutual love and respect. The emphasis is also on husbands loving their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. Now, if we think about it, christ God was loving. He loved us and wanted only the best for us, and that meant treating each other with love and with respect, right. So in simple terms, these verses highlight a mutual and sacrificial love in marriage where both partners play complementary roles with love and respect for each other, rather than a one-sided dominance.
Speaker 1:
This contrasts with the traditional gender roles found in some cultures, and that's exactly what I was just talking about. You know that it goes against the traditional Mexican chains Catholic mentality of men. And why do I continuously specific? Not that I'm against any. You know things that we learn in Catholicism, because I want to make the difference. Mexican Catholics and Hispanic Catholics, compared to American Catholics or Catholics in other parts of the world, are completely different because of the mindset that we have, and so where they take that scripture and kind of manipulated into us, thinking that we have to be submissive in a way that we sacrifice ourselves or that we're submissive by enduring physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and and that's not what God intended marriage to be or relationship to be, right. So I just found that that was, you know, crazy to think of the term marianismo as it relates or how it correlates with machismo, whereas, you know, it's just crazy to to think about those terms, right? But is this unique to Mexican culture or does it extend to Latinos as a whole? Well, it's essential to recognize that, while these terms originate from Mexican culture, variations of these expectations can be found across different Latino communities, and I say that in this way.
Speaker 1:
My ex-husband was Puerto Rican and he had that mentality. He was through and through a machista. He really was. He was a narcissist, he was very much machista. I could not say anything about him, against him, or anything that was going to humiliate him in front of anybody. Not that I would humiliate him, but I couldn't, like they would say no, le podía se la contra reality. You know, like I couldn't go against whatever he was saying. I had to agree right, whether it was wrong or right. So if he said that the sky was purple honey. I needed to say that the sky was purple, knowing dang well that the sky was gray because it was about to rain, and also in front of everybody, I had to put this facade that we were just the perfect couple, that we were just the most happiest loving couple together, that there was, that there was nothing wrong.
Speaker 1:
Yet this man did drugs, this man cheated on me. This man, you know, would emotionally abuse me, verbally abuse me, you know, if I didn't answer that phone, it's like, hey, you know. And of course he would use all of his cursing, you know, to get me as to why I wasn't answering the phone, or what have you. So he had very much that mentality and he would say it, although he would say it sometimes in a joking matter, but he was dead serious that, you know, I was to be home and that I was to be seen and not heard, so to speak. And it's it's that term that you would hear when you're, when we're talking about, when people would talk about kids. You know, kids should be seen and not heard. Well, that was his mentality too.
Speaker 1:
When it came to me that I was to be seen, I had to be the perfect hostess, I had to keep the house immaculately clean. If he came home and the house was a mess, oh my god. It was like an interrogation and I would. I wouldn't even know what the day was gonna be like. Like he would dictate what our day was gonna be like. Like if he was in a bad mood, oh well, you know, the whole day was ruined or what have you. So I can only speak that in in that household, that's how I was.
Speaker 1:
So I think that at some level it does extend across the different Latino communities. How deeply rooted, I don't know, but I do know that it exists, and I don't even want to just say for the Latino community because, like I said, it could be in any household where, if you're taking those scriptures out of context, that's the mentality you're going to have. Only it's not considered Marianismo or Machismo because, of course, those are Spanish terms. So let's address the elephant in the room. How does this impact us, especially in a negative way. Well, I spoke of some examples that I experienced.
Speaker 1:
Right, the rigid expectations set by Marianismo and Machismo can limit personal growth. It can restrict career aspirations, as I mentioned. You know, the woman goes to college what have you? And then gives up her career to be the one that's going to stay home with the kids, and it also perpetuates gender inequalities within our community.
Speaker 1:
Now, I'm not going to get into that specific deep, you know, because that's a whole different topic in itself, but at the same time it's true, right, because it once again suppresses the women. Now, mind you, yes, traditionally the roles are for the wives, you know, to be the caretakers and the. You know we are equipped to be the ones that are more nurturing and loving and stuff, but that doesn't mean that men aren't that way either, and I think that sometimes we allow for and I'm going to say in quotations, you know, the so-called Christians, that, because I am a Christian and I do believe that there should be mutual love and respect, and I think a lot of times what hurts us the most is when we have the, you know, so-called Mexican Catholic women or the so-called Christian women in general, that put these I don't know, I guess expectations on us that it has to look a certain way, and you know what guys. This is what I'm going to say. God gives us all dreams. God gives us hopes, dreams, aspirations. He's created us to do the things that he wants us to do Like there's a purpose for each and every one of us. And that doesn't mean that we can't have careers, that doesn't mean that we have to give up on our dreams, and that certainly doesn't mean that we have to allow for these machistas or these men to humiliate us, to feel like they're more than us, because we can also give back as well. So I just found again, when I stumbled across that word, I found that it was very, very interesting to learn more about, and I hope that it was interesting for you too.
Speaker 1:
And I would love to hear back about what your thoughts are on Mariani's Moe and how it will sometimes intertwine with well, not sometimes how it does intertwine with Machismo. And what, as women, can we do to make things better? And that doesn't mean like the songs from Alanis Morissette, where we're manhating, because of course that's not what we're about, right, but it's about how do we change that mindset to where we don't allow for society or, I don't know, I guess Latin traditions, to keep us suppressed into something that we're not to be, if that makes sense. And so I just I don't know. I just want to hear your thoughts. I want to know what you feel about the topic of Mariani's Moe and Machismo.
Speaker 1:
Give me your feedback, let me know, dm me, because, like I said, I thought this was just an interesting topic to bring about and I hope that if you want to be a guest on the podcast and you want to talk a little bit more about that, or if you have more of a deeper understanding about it, I would love to have an open discussion and open dialogue because, like I said, I love to learn about new things, giving names to terms that I have seen my hope, my life growing up, and to know that there was an actual name for it, which, again, I found it crazy that it resembles my name, because my name is Mariana, and then to have Mariani's Moe in it. So I just thought that that was crazy. But anyways, I mean, thank you so much for joining me today on this episode and please don't forget to share your thoughts on our social media platforms. Dm me on Instagram at olamami on a mission, reach out to me on Facebook on tiktok, or just send me an email. Of course, all the ways to get connected with me are going to be in the show notes and I look forward to seeing you again next weekend on the Mamiyana Mission podcast.
Speaker 1:
Nos vemos, hasta luego. If you are hearing this message, you've listened to the entire episode and for that I want to say me gracias from the bottom of my heart. If you would like to dive deeper into today's message and would like to connect with me, send the DM on Instagram at olamami on a mission, or Facebook at MamiyanaMission. You can also find me at MamiyanaMissioncom. I hope you've enjoyed this new episode and if you did, it would mean the world to me If you would subscribe, share this podcast and leave me a review on Spotify and Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast. Tune in next week for some more words of motivation, inspiration and encouragement on MamiyanaMissioncom.