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Relationship Diversity Podcast
Every relationship is as unique as you are. Relationship Diversity Podcast aims to celebrate, question, and explore all aspects of relationships and relationship structure diversity. Together, we’ll bust through societal programming to break open and dissect everything we thought we knew about relationships. We’ll ask challenging and transformational questions, like: Who am I? What do I really want in my relationships? Am I in this relationship structure because it’s all I know or is it really the fullest expression of who I am? Being curious, having courage to look within, and asking these important questions creates the space for joy-filled, soul-nourishing relationships. Your host and guide, Carrie Jeroslow is an International Best-Selling Author, Conscious Relationship Coach, and Intuitive. Through this podcast, she helps to normalize discussions about all different kinds of relationship structures from soloamory to monogamy to polyamory, and everything in between. This is a space of inclusivity and acceptance. The time is NOW to shift the conversation to a new paradigm of conscious, intentional, and diverse relationships.Join in as we reimagine all that our most intimate relationships can become.
Relationship Diversity Podcast
Ep. 112: Relationship Diversity: A Crash Course
Episode 112:
Relationship Diversity: A Crash Course
In this episode, I celebrate my 2nd anniversary and the return of the Relationship Diversity Podcast with a special crash course on relationship diversity. I dive into the various relationship structures including soloamory, monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory, emphasizing the importance of knowing oneself and creating unique, conscious relationships that evolve over time. I highlight the value of going beyond societal programming and encourage open, compassionate communication. Throughout, I provide insights on the transformative power of self-awareness and the benefits of creating personalized relationship frameworks based on individual needs and desires.
00:00 Welcome to the Relationship Diversity Podcast
00:50 Exciting Return and Upcoming Interviews
02:44 Introduction to Relationship Diversity
05:29 Understanding Conscious Relationships
07:44 Exploring Basic Relationship Structures
09:28 The Importance of Labels and Timing
12:39 Diverse Relationship Structures in Practice
15:59 Reimagining Relationships and Self-Discovery
18:48 Conclusion and Further Resources
This is Relationships Reimagined.
Join the conversation as we dive into a new paradigm of conscious, intentional and diverse relationships.
Listen to the full episodes of this mashup:
Ep. 002: Exploring Diverse Relationship Structures
Ep. 004: Letting Go of Relationship Expectations to Find the Gold
✴️ ✴️ ✴️ ✴️ ✴️ ✴️
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Podcast Music by Zachariah Hickman
Please note: I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, counselor, or social worker. I am not attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental, or emotional issue, disease, or condition. The information provided in or through my podcast is not intended to be a substitute for the professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment provided by your own Medical Provider or Mental Health Provider. Always seek the advice of your own Medical Provider and/or Mental Health Provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your specific circumstance.
Welcome to the Relationship Diversity Podcast, where we celebrate, question and explore all aspects of relationship structure diversity, from soloramory to monogamy to polyamory and everything in between, because every relationship is as unique as you are. We'll bust through societal programming to break open and dissect everything we thought we knew about relationships, to ask the challenging but transformational questions who am I and what do I really want in my relationships? I'm your guide, Keri Jaroslow, bestselling author, speaker, intuitive and coach. Join me as we reimagine all that our most intimate relationships can become. It has been two years since I started this podcast and after some time away, I'm really excited to come back with some amazing interviews with powerful, really wise educators and content creators in the relationship diversity field. So we've got great conversations to come.
Speaker 1:And for this first episode, back from my little break, I decided to do a mashup of sorts of the first several episodes of this podcast, and what I did was I wanted to provide for you a relationship diversity crash course what is relationship diversity and how can it show up? And if you want to learn more about my story and how my story relates to relationship diversity, go back and listen to those episodes. I will link the ones that I used in this episode in the show notes. In this one, I have brought together the foundations of relationship diversity what it is, the diverse relationship structures and how to create your own unique structure from your own unique self, and the importance of learning about all of the different structures, but also learning about yourself and your partner, or your partners, and how you can all create a relationship structure that is most resonant with who you are. So, without further ado, here we go into Relationship Diversity Crash Course Enjoy.
Speaker 1:Let's briefly talk about what relationship diversity is, at least the definition that I'll be working with through this podcast. I think this is important so that we join together in a common perspective of relationship diversity. So relationship diversity is all the varied ways we relate to ourselves and others in our intimate relationships, and we can start with the broadest categories, and I talk about those as solo, amory, monogamy, ethical, non-monogamy, and there are subsets and substructures within all of these. One thing I want to say is that I don't personally advocate for any of them, because I'm not you and I'm not the person or people that you're in relationship with, and I'm not the one that can tell you one way is better than another, the only person who can tell you that is you. But even after we talk about the broader structures and the substructures, the real gold lies in the in-between. It lies in the uniqueness, and this is my biggest message with relationship diversity. This is my biggest message with relationship diversity.
Speaker 1:Greek philosophy has a lot to teach us. Inscribed on the Temple of Apollo are the Greek words know thyself, know thyself Great wisdom. That applies to relationship diversity in the context of this podcast means design your unique relationship from your unique self, and that starts with knowing yourself. The concept of relationship diversity at its best centers around that knowing yourself and also the idea that we are in the flow of life. When we are continually evolving and growing, the only constant is change. So typically we'll resist this and we're just going to hold on to something to feel safe. So relationship diversity works best, or the exploration of this, works best when, instead of resisting the natural process of evolution because of fear, we instead lean into it, acknowledge it and accept ourselves as fully and completely as possible. When we're doing our internal work, living in this fluid, dynamic energy, communicating compassionately with others in a conscious way, the possibility of an inspired and full life are endless.
Speaker 1:Now I want to take a moment to define conscious relationships, because I think it's important. Well, first I'll talk about what unconscious relationships are. Unconscious relationships are what is shown to us everywhere through movies, through TV, through our families, through society and that is that my partner is separate from me. My partner can hurt me. I blame my partner. It's my partner's fault for me and for my sadness and for my dysfunction. And that comes from an unconscious place, a place of blame.
Speaker 1:So conscious relationships is about having the awareness of what is going on within me. And even if I don't have the awareness, my commitment is to understanding why what my partner did really, really upset me. So it is about me going inside me, doing my internal work, understanding my inner world, my inner triggers and how my past affects my current relationship. And I want to put a short caveat here that I'm not talking about abusive relationships. In those types of relationships, it's imperative to get help and get to safety as soon as possible. But for normal relationship conflicts, when I get into an argument with my partner, I go inside and ask why is this upsetting me? And then I go and do my inner work. So that's the difference between conscious and unconscious relationship and conscious relating takes radical responsibility for my own healing. This perspective, although challenging, is so empowering because I know that if I can do my internal work and shift what's going on within me, I can have a different experience outside of me, and I do. I have had it happen over and over again and the hundreds of clients that I work with have experienced the same thing.
Speaker 1:And with that I want to talk about some different basic structures to give us a common space to come together in understanding. The first one I want to talk about is solo amory, and this is where the main intimate relationship I have is with myself. The next one is the one that is mostly known and shown in society and that is monogamy. My intimate relationship is with one other person. The next big group that I want to talk about is ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy. This is an umbrella term for the other two structures that I want to talk about, that it basically means non-monogamy chosen from a consensual place between partners. The other two structures that I want to talk about are open relationships. I define open relationships as I can have sexual experiences outside of my main intimate relationship if it is consensual between my partner and me and the last one I'm going to touch on here is polyamory, and this is defined for the podcast, as I have multiple loving, intimate relationships and everyone has full knowledge of each other and gives consent. There are so many substructures in everything that I just talked about, so we'll go into each one of these in future podcasts, but those are the brief descriptions of the four kinds soloamory, monogamy, open relationship and polyamory. Now we have to start somewhere when we're going into an exploration of a new concept or an idea, and knowledge about these structures is a great place to start your exploration of relationship structure diversity.
Speaker 1:I have been quite rebellious in my life in terms of societal constructs. I've found myself rebelling against these kinds of relationship labels. I've never liked being put in boxes. They've always felt suffocating and restrictive. However, I think where these categories and labels find their value is by helping us find others who identify in the same way. This speaks to humanity's deep need to belong, to be seen, understood and heard. When we label ourselves as monogamous or polyamorous, for example, we can find a whole group of people who understand what that experience is like. It helps us not to feel like an outcast or weird. It helps us feel a sense of community. On the other side of that, these labels can be restrictive when they one, limit our sense of self, our ability to be our true selves in relationships, and, two, when they put unattainable expectations on our relationships.
Speaker 1:We are unique. There is no one else like us and yet we think relationships are a one-size-fits-all. Even within the structures of monogamy or polyamory, there's so much space to find your unique expression. I like to look at diversity within the basic structures in the context of one timing and two structure. So we'll go into timing first. The most dynamic, rewarding relationships are continually evolving.
Speaker 1:Just because you choose a relationship structure one year doesn't mean you can't choose a different one another year. This could look like the following Choosing monogamy as you have and raise children and then opening up to non-monogamy as the children get older and more independent. Choosing solo amory as you develop a deeper intimacy with yourself, and then choosing monogamy after meeting someone who aligns with your visions and goals. Choosing polyamory while you're dating and then deciding to be monogamous when conceiving a child. There are so many possibilities. This is where compassionate communication comes in, always staying in a space where you're able to express your needs and desires, and also staying in a space where you're able to deeply listen to your partner's needs and desires. This is essential. There are complexities sown throughout, especially if one partner desires to shift structures and another partner doesn't. This is a really big topic and I'll devote an entire episode to this in the future.
Speaker 1:The next idea that I want to talk about in terms of the gold within between the structures is the actual relationship structure. Diversity is the actual relationship structure diversity. So from each of the four basic structures, there's an entire world that lives within each one. So being fluid within the relationship structure could look like this For solo amory I choose to be on my own but casually date. Or I choose to live my own life but experience a close heart connection with another person or other people.
Speaker 1:For monogamy, it could look like this I'm in a monogamous relationship, but we sleep in different rooms because we sleep better alone. I prefer monogamy, but I like having my money separately. I'm in a monogamous relationship, but I live in my own place separately from my partner, and that actually has a name called living apart together or LAT. For open relationship, I have a primary partner and we consensually agree that we can have other connections but don't have intercourse with them. When we are out of town on business, we can have sexual experiences, but not in our hometown, or we only want to have an outside sexual experience together. So we must agree on who the person is and how it happens. Now for polyamory it could look like this we have a primary partner that we share a home, house, children, finances with, and that person is our priority, while the other loving partners are secondary. Or I am completely autonomous and I make my own rules in my relationships. I communicate my needs and desires to my other partners, but ultimately decisions, schedules and preferences come from what I want. Or I have many different loving, intimate relationships and yet I prefer to live alone.
Speaker 1:These scenarios are just scratching the surface of all the diverse ways intimate relationships can be structured, and this is why this subject of relationship diversity is so important to me, because it takes the shoulds and the have-tos out of your relationships. This is the scenario where all the shame of not doing it right, not being good at relationships, can finally be released. It releases the societal programming or rules that someone else has determined makes a relationship good. Relationship diversity says who am I and what do I really want in my relationship. And then what is keeping me from experiencing that? What is the woundedness? Let me go inside and look at what that is so that I can release it. This brings you the freedom to be your own unique person in your own unique relationships. Therefore, the main qualifier of a fulfilling, successful relationship in the context of relationship, diversity becomes. Am I being my true self in this relationship and am I honoring my needs and desires, while also honoring and being compassionate to my partners? And being compassionate to my partners?
Speaker 1:The way to start reimagining all that our relationships can become is to have conversations, and not just any conversations, not just surface conversations, but open, real and raw conversations about being in relationship with ourselves and others. Conversations about being in relationship with ourselves and others. Let's lift the heaviness of shame and bring these conversations out into the open. I choose to create a world where my uniqueness is not only accepted but it is celebrated, and it begins with me knowing, accepting and loving myself, so that I can be the first one to celebrate my true self.
Speaker 1:I believe the secret is really looking at what expectations you've put on yourself and asking yourself if the expectations are serving you or keeping you from really enjoying your life and relationship. Getting to know yourself so intimately will help you begin this exploration. Now ask yourself this what is one expectation I have about my relationship that is suffocating the parts that are good? How could I let go or shift this expectation and come up with a new way of being in its place that will feel aligned and true to my unique self? When we haven't been in touch with ourselves or feel, for one reason or another, that it's not okay to be our true selves, we need to find the courage, guidance and support from others to help us Close your eyes and imagine yourself being you in your relationships, even if you don't know who that you is yet.
Speaker 1:Just imagine being you in your relationships, expressing yourself openly with love and being met by the other person. Imagine being seen and accepted. Imagine throwing out the rules that don't work for you and seeing how your relationship can be the fullest expression of who you are. Be the fullest expression of who you are. I hope that you'll join me on this journey, because together we can explore and understand how to create the most beautiful, colorful, expansive and diverse relationships. I believe that this could help us move out of the divisive world we've been experiencing to a more inclusive, vibrant and loving world world.
Speaker 1:Stay tuned and stay curious. Diversity podcastcom to get your scent right to you. If you liked what you heard, please subscribe to the podcast. You being here and participating in the conversation about relationship diversity is what helps us create a space of inclusivity and acceptance together. The more comfortable and normal it is to acknowledge the vast and varied relating we all do, the faster we'll shift to a paradigm of conscious, intentional and diverse relationships. New episodes are released every Thursday. Stay connected with me through my website, kerryjerislowcom, instagram or TikTok.
Speaker 1:Stay curious. Every relationship is as unique as you are. Are you wondering why you never seem to find lasting fulfillment in your relationships? Or do you create the same kinds of relationship experiences over and over again? Can you never seem to find even one person who you want to explore a relationship with? Have you just given up hope altogether? If this sounds like you, my recent book why Do they Always Break Up With Me is the perfect place to start. The foundation of any relationship, whether intimate or not, is the relationship we have with ourselves. In the book, I lead you through eight clear steps to start or continue your self-exploration journey. You'll learn about the importance of self-acceptance, gratitude, belief shifting and forgiveness, and given exercises to experience these life-changing concepts. This is the process I use to shift my relationships from continual heartbreak to what they are now fulfilling, soul-nourishing, compassionate and loving. It is possible for you. This book can set you on a path to get there. Currently available through Amazon or through the link in the show notes.
