Rising Above Addiction with Chase Warburton*

In this BONUS episode, you’ll hear my conversation with Chase Warburton, he is the host of the podcast The Wellness Center and advocates for destigmatizing mental health. As a survivor of an 18-year-long battle with porn, sex and drug addiction, against all odds Chase transformed his life and rose above his addictions to find love, and success as an entrepreneur. His transformation is truly inspiring. 

There is talk of suicide in this episode. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline immediately, by dialing 988.

*Adult content, language and suicide.

Chase's contact information:
Chase@thewellnesscenter.life
The Wellness Center Podcast
thewellnesscenter.life

Transcript

Bill Simpson: Just a quick heads up, there is talk of suicide in this episode, sensitive listeners be advised. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, Call the suicide in crisis lifeline immediately by dialing 988. Thank you. Hi, and welcome to the men on the Path to Love podcast. The rising above addiction.

Bill Simpson: My guest, Chase Warburton. I'm Bill Simpson, your host. I coach men who wanna stop suffering in relationship. And who want a deeper sense of love and connection. I coach them how to do it and how to be the best version of themselves and live the life they love.

Bill Simpson: In this bonus episode, you'll hear my conversation with Chase Warbert. He is the host of the podcast, The Wellness where he is an advocate for destigmatizing mental health. This guy has been on quite a journey on his path to love. Self love and love in relationship. As a survivor of an 18 year long battle with poor sex and drug addiction, Chase has transformed his life and has risen above his adversities against his transformation is truly inspiring.

Bill Simpson: So fasten your seat belts, the ride may get bumpy at times. It's the men on the Path to Love podcast. So welcome Chase to Men on the Path to Love.

Chase Warburton: Hey. Thank you for having me, Bill. I really appreciate your time.

Bill Simpson: Well, I'm glad you reached out because you have quite a story to tell, and I'm all about telling stories. I tell my story. I tell stories about my clients and stories about people I know to really help to shine the the authentic light on living and being on the path to love. So I'm gonna ask you to start out with your amazing story and take as long as you need.

Chase Warburton: Yeah, dude. I I appreciate it. And I just I just wanna emphasize how important stories are. Right? If you think about all of the great names, all of the great people.

Chase Warburton: It's because they were great storytellers. So I think you're you're derived to tell stories is truly a beautiful 1. But, yeah, so little bit about me just so you know, some of, like, the cookie cutter answers. So my name is Chase. I live in Utah.

Chase Warburton: I'm 28 years old. I'm married. I've been married for about 6 years. I've 2 kids, a third 1 on the way. This little 1 is due in December.

Chase Warburton: And just kind of like a little bit about my story. So it starts very, very young. I've done a lot of therapy work, but, you know, mental health and and issues that I dealt with started around the time I was 8 years old. Right. The that I really started noticing things, addictions started coming into my life, unhealthy behaviors and patterns.

Chase Warburton: I was depressed and suicidal by the time I was 10, the time I made my first attempt with suicide.

Bill Simpson: And I'm gonna just gonna interrupt you to to share a little bit of what that experience was when you were 8 years old.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Absolutely. So I got introduced to pornography. I was at a I was at a Christian church and I was doing a computer technology this summer just to learn about how computers work. So at the end of class, last 5 or so minutes, we had the opportunity just to play some online games right?

Chase Warburton: People some kids went to the Disney channel or cartoon network and and all this stuff. And I there was this 1 kid. I don't know or remember what game he was playing. He was playing it and I was like, I wanna play that game too. It looks like fun.

Chase Warburton: So I tried to copy the URL down and when I click search, a naked lady popped up on the screen.

Bill Simpson: Woah.

Chase Warburton: And I remember I was 8 years old, so I was sitting there like, oh, wide eyed. And I was like, what is this?

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: And my my eyes got covered pretty quick and Ever since then, I got really curious about it and started exploring it more and more. So that that was kind of my first drip into addiction. And you know, I I don't know if the people ever told my parents, to be honest with you. It is so long that 20 years ago, but, you know, I got curious and I started looking more and and delving more into that and, would get caught and shamed for it quite a bit. You know, like, I I remember very specifically, my dad telling me once that, like, Satan would be tickled pink.

Chase Warburton: With me at my behavior, which I think at the time, it was, like, 10 or 12 was not the right thing to say. I love him to death. It wasn't the right

Bill Simpson: thing to say. Wanna support you Chase and that I was exposed at an early age as well around 6 years old. And and then to hear my father say, you know, if you masturbate You're you're queer. You're gay. And, you know, all those kind of things that parents say to shame kids.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. It's it's toxic. It's not healthy. It's they're doing their best, right? We don't wanna we don't wanna bash on parents.

Chase Warburton: They really are doing great, but it wasn't the healthiest option. And that's okay. So That happened when I was 8. I remember around the time I was 10. I was suicidal.

Chase Warburton: I I had my first suicidal attempt and what that looked like was I I had a bunch of swords that I collected. And I love I still love swords to this day. And what I would do is I would lay in my bed and I would look up at the swords that were hanging up on the racks and I would hit my body against my wall, against the wall in the bed in hopes that the swords would fall down and impale me.

Bill Simpson: Wow. Wow.

Chase Warburton: Right. And then you know, started questioning like Christianity and spirituality when I was about 1314 started not believing in the church I was bullied really bad by a lot of the people that I attended my my church with, a lot of the kids, my age, and I started having these beliefs of, like, man, why would I go to a church? Why would I be involved with the church that fosters so much hate Right. And and so much awfulness. Right?

Chase Warburton: And What I never understood is that spirituality and going to church, whatever denomination you go to, whatever religion you're associated with, they're hospitals for the sick. That's it. Right? And so for me, it was I didn't realize that. I didn't and I didn't connect in my young teenage brain.

Chase Warburton: So I left the I left the church that I was associated with, which was the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, nicknamed the Mormons. Right. And, I got into smoking and drinking and pill popping and sex addiction and video games and food, and TV, and you name it. I did it all. Right?

Chase Warburton: You got it.

Bill Simpson: I hear you.

Chase Warburton: So I started doing that and found a friend group that accepted me that also partied. And so I got more into the partying seen more into those kind of negative behaviors and patterns.

Bill Simpson: And that's a big part of it too, Chase, is is having that peer group that is right along with you, and that that just entices you to do it more. And you feel accepted.

Chase Warburton: Oh, 100%, man. So, like, if you go to if you go to church and you're getting bullied, by the people in church. I wanna be around that. No 1 likes being bullied and teased. And

Bill Simpson: when you

Chase Warburton: have people that accept you and they're like, hey, we'll accept you and we'll accept you more if you smoke this pot, and you do it in a kinda cool way, absolutely, you're gonna smoke the pot. Why wouldn't you? Humans need acceptance. Yeah. And so I kind of got into that realm pretty aggressively and went down that life.

Chase Warburton: And all the while, too, my parents were fighting quite a bit. Right? They were just doing their best too, but I I think where it was really hard for me is that my parents would pit me against each other. Right? So multiple times throughout a week, sometimes daily.

Chase Warburton: I'd be talking to my dad just, you know, hi dad. How you doing this stuff? And, you know, he'd be like, man, your mom is such a bitch and she's I'm so sick of her, and she said, you know, all the things. And then, you know, another day, I'd be talking to my mom and she'd be like, your dad's a bastard and he's a liar and he's a dick and all these things. So it's like, I had this false sense of love growing up.

Chase Warburton: It's like you had to hate 1 another. So I could never have AII can never keep a girlfriend because I was just a bitter angry person. I was doing way too many drugs and partying way too hard. And this was all in high school. Right?

Chase Warburton: And then I get to this point when I'm 18 years old, and I'm finally like, you know what? I am gonna prove my mom wrong, and I'm actually gonna do something with my life. So I graduated high school early and I moved across the country to Arkansas to go install alarm systems. And I remember going out there in a really hard experience. Fun, great opportunity to go travel at a young age, a really hard experience.

Chase Warburton: But in that first summer that I was there, I lost my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa died the old age, and my sister died by suicide. She was 16 at the time.

Bill Simpson: I'm sorry.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Thank you. So the partying went from a social acceptance friendly thing Right. To a coping mechanism, right, is is where the fund went away from it. And I just kept spiraling and getting worse and worse, and I got to this point where I was drinking ever clear.

Chase Warburton: Right on a on a weekly basis. And if you guys don't know whatever clear is for those listening, it's that kind of alcohol that makes you go blind. It's a it's a better cleaner than it is in a beverage. And I was smoking close to a pack of cigarettes a day. I was vaping close to a bottle a day as well.

Chase Warburton: I was consuming all the food and women and drugs and everything I could get my hands on. And when I was 19, went to a mental health institution, you know, admitted myself into a hospital because I was gonna kill myself again. And around that time, I was also diagnosed with severe chronic depression. And then close to my 21st birthday, right? Life had just continued to spiral and be awful.

Chase Warburton: And 3 days before my 21st birthday, I remember waking up a friend's house, or not 3 days before, but close to 3 days before my 21st birthday. I remember waking up on a tile floor spooning a bunch of guys, totally drunk, totally hungover, and just absolutely hating my entire existence. It sucked. And see, like, I'm I'm heterosexual. No judgment against any, like, homosexual or or or whatever.

Chase Warburton: I don't know the proper terminology, to be honest with you. So please forgive me for my ignorance. But, I I was heterosexual, and so It wasn't a fun experience to wake up cuddling a bunch of guys on the tile floor.

Bill Simpson: Mhmm.

Chase Warburton: And I was just like, man, something's gotta change. So I remember going back to my bishop ecclesiastical leader 3 days before my 21st birthday, and I just sat with him for what felt like 4 hours, and I just shared everything with him from the time I was ate, all of the porn, all of the drugs, all of the sex, the partying, all of the things that didn't serve me that weren't helping me.

Bill Simpson: That must have been pretty liberating to be able to share all that.

Chase Warburton: It was 1 of the hardest experiences I've ever had.

Bill Simpson: Yeah.

Chase Warburton: And 1 of the best, like you said. Yeah. It's if you have something on your chest, Like, if you guys are listening, honesty is what gets rid of it. Right? That weight on your chest, talking to someone about it.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. And being willing to talk to someone about it. So, yeah, you're right. It was it was Bill. It was an amazing experience to share that with him shamelessly.

Chase Warburton: The most important thing that happened in this situation, because I was only, you know, I was young. I was 20, almost 21, is he received me with love. Right. No judgment, acceptance, and love.

Bill Simpson: Beautiful.

Chase Warburton: And, yeah, and that was a huge game changer for me, and and I almost can guarantee if He would have met me with why would you ever do that kind of stuff shame on you? You know, you should know better. You grew up with god in your life. You you know, I wouldn't have been able to change. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Right. I was so influential at that young age.

Bill Simpson: We're so vulnerable to share all that and then to to be ashamed with it. Oh my god. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Yeah, that would just confirm all of the in, you know, the inadequacies. Right?

Bill Simpson: Exactly.

Chase Warburton: So but, yeah, no. I I was received with love. And then I walked away from everything cold turkey. All of the drugs, all of the alcohol, all of the vaping, the pills that you name it, the the premarital sex. It's I walked away all of it cold turkey, and I was thoroughly blessed that I didn't get a single withdrawal.

Bill Simpson: Wow.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. The only thing I wasn't able to quit was pornography.

Bill Simpson: Mhmm.

Chase Warburton: And that, again, the kind of the how often I was using it, like the frequency definitely was a lot less. It was still in my life, though.

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: And kind of my last D day discovery day, my last doomsday, whatever you wanna call it, was, around the time that my second child, her name is Willow. She's a little spitfire was born. Probably a few weeks after I remember holding her 1 day and looking at her and just feeling so much love. And then so much shame is, like, is a man. And I was like, Wow.

Chase Warburton: I'm such a dirtbag. Like, I'm lying to my wife. I'm watching pornography from time to time, and I was like, Man, I would never want my daughter to marry a guy like me.

Bill Simpson: Wow.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. So I ended up talking to my wife about a lot of the issues, which she knew about, but I downplayed them and minimized them. And then I finally joined a group, and I've been sober ever since.

Bill Simpson: Well, that's

Chase Warburton: a little over 3 years running.

Bill Simpson: Well, congratulations on that.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Thanks, man. So that's that's my story in a nutshell.

Bill Simpson: Wow. Well, I'm sure you're touching folks out there that have been through any of all or all of what you've been through. Yeah. And it's so important for others to hear stories like yours. So they know they're they're not alone in the world.

Bill Simpson: Yes. Not only that, You can change. You can heal from this. Yeah. And I I saw in your your bio information about 5 key questions that you ask when you're working with folks.

Bill Simpson: Can you go through those for us?

Chase Warburton: Yeah. So It's it's not the 5 key questions, but it's close. It's the 5 key areas of your life.

Bill Simpson: Okay. Great.

Chase Warburton: Right? So I'm all about helping people change reasonably.

Bill Simpson: Okay.

Chase Warburton: Right. Like, I I know that there are those those people out there, those mentors out there that believe even extreme radical change.

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: And I think there is a time and place for it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just not the direction I take. So what I do is I look at every single person and I wanna make sure that they have 3 things and then a keystone. Right.

Chase Warburton: 3 I call them the 3 pillars in the Keystone. Still kinda figuring that 1 out a little bit. Okay. Because my wife says, well, you need to have 2 pieces of an arch and a keystone. I was like, well, we're just gonna use a metaphorical tree here.

Chase Warburton: But I believe you need 3 things and then the keystone. So the first thing that you need is self awareness.

Bill Simpson: Okay.

Chase Warburton: Right. As a human being, you just need to be aware of who you are and the experiences that you're feeling.

Bill Simpson: And we as men, that's tough for us at times.

Chase Warburton: Yeah, dude. Absolutely. Like, growing up in a a world of toxic masculinity. Ask someone to be self aware and feel themselves? Like

Bill Simpson: Right. Exactly.

Chase Warburton: It's tough. It's tough. And so when I ask guys, I'm like, well, why are you angry? And the big 1 pissed off because my wife said something. Mhmm.

Chase Warburton: Cool. At least you're self aware. Why does that make you angry? Well, because she's just not listening to me. Okay.

Chase Warburton: So you don't feel like you're being listened to. I don't. Cool. That's self awareness. That's totally okay.

Chase Warburton: Right. The second is rigorous acceptance. Right. Once you have the awareness, you need to accept that. Whatever you're feeling is okay, specifically because you're feeling it.

Chase Warburton: Right?

Bill Simpson: And you you can't really control that. So you might as well at least accept it. Don't have to do anything with it. Right?

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Exactly. It doesn't mean you're okay with it.

Bill Simpson: Right. Right.

Chase Warburton: It just means you accept it. Right? It's like know, some of those people say, why me? It's like because you.

Bill Simpson: Mhmm.

Chase Warburton: Alright. There's nothing wrong with you.

Bill Simpson: It's just what is.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. Another term maybe radical acceptance. I just don't like the word radical.

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: So rigorous acceptance. And then the third is self love.

Bill Simpson: Okay.

Chase Warburton: Right. You have to be able to realize that you're angry and that you're sad and that you have all of these negative emotions that the toxic masculinity or the the world has taught you isn't okay.

Bill Simpson: Right. And and I I work a lot with self compassion. I did a whole episode on it, and I it's a big part of my practice. And You know, if you can't treat yourself kind as you would someone that you love and care about, you know, you're not gonna have that compassion for the other person.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. I love that. Yeah. In self, I'm sure we could spend a whole

Bill Simpson: Oh, yeah.

Chase Warburton: 4 or 5 episodes on self compassion.

Bill Simpson: No doubt.

Chase Warburton: It's there's it's so deep And, you know, it goes down like yourself compassion in a nutshell. It goes all the way down to your core beliefs. Right? Those values that which you guide your whole life on, whether you know it or not. Right.

Chase Warburton: So, yeah, so it's being self aware of whatever you're feeling. Being okay that you're feeling it because it's a human experience to feel it, and you're gonna love yourself anyways. And I never use the I don't like using the word but. Because I feel like butt gets rid of it.

Bill Simpson: Takes away the the prior statement. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. So you have to be okay and love yourself.

Bill Simpson: There you go.

Chase Warburton: And then once you have all of those 3 things, you have a really solid foundation for growth. Right? And then the keystone, the thing that really solidifies it is a connection with a higher power. Whether that's your higher self, whether that's the Dalai Lama or the Buddha, whether that is, you know, the neighbor down the street that you idolize, Doesn't matter. It's a higher power that you're connected to.

Chase Warburton: For me, it's Jesus Christ. Right? Once you have that higher power, then you're ready for what I call the 1% mentality. And what we do is we get people to start thinking about 1% shifts in their life. And how we do that is we look at the 5 main categories that someone lives in.

Chase Warburton: Right? You have your physical self, which can be your working out, your diet, how you feel about your body, right, all those things. We have your spiritual self. Right, that connection with a higher power. We have your social self, right, your relationships with other people, like outside of your, like, intermost relationships, We have your mental self, which is your mental health, and then we have your relational self, which is that relationship with a spouse or partner, significant other, and your kids.

Chase Warburton: Right? Those really close interpersonal relationships. And what we do is we take each 1 of those areas, and I love to do self assessments with people. And when you do the self assessment, I'm a big advocate of not doing between 110 because everyone does 110. I'm gonna change the number every I do an assessment with someone because it's gonna make you think.

Chase Warburton: Right? But, Bill, you know, give me a scale and 1 to 10 of how you're doing physically today. You'll be a guy on 5. Cool. Hey, Bill.

Chase Warburton: Give me a scale from 1 to 17 on how you're doing today physically.

Bill Simpson: Oh, yeah. Let me think about that. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. So I make people thinking about it. And then I think, okay, the whole goal is to change y 1%. So if you're at 17, let's break the threshold and make an 18 on the scale. If you're at 2, k.

Chase Warburton: How can we get to 3, right, on the scale? Once we take the assessment, right, then what we do is I typically like to walk to my client through a meditation. Right? I believe that all of us have a very deep subconscious. Right?

Chase Warburton: We're all very intuitive beings, and we know what we need. And sometimes people have a hard time being self aware. It's the start. So we go through a meditation, and we let their subconscious tell them what they need. Right.

Chase Warburton: So, like, let's say, for example, we're working on the physical 1% mindset.

Bill Simpson: Mhmm. And

Chase Warburton: I think, okay. You wanna change physically. I wanna be lighter. And, okay, well, let's look at ways in which we can change 1%, right, the 1% mentality. And 1% mentality isn't 1% shifts every single day because that's exhausting, but what it is is it's taking 1 of those 5 areas.

Chase Warburton: Shifting 1%, doing that until it becomes a habit and then choosing another 1% shift. Okay. Right? So, like, let's I love the example of milk. Right?

Chase Warburton: You know, let's say someone drinks full milk. Big fan of full milk. And I'll tell them, okay, a 1% shift is switching to 2% milk. Right. If you can switch to 2% milk, still consume the same amount of milk.

Chase Warburton: Let's say it's 2 cups a day, you're still gonna consume 2 cups of milk a day. That's great. But a whole milk to a 2% milk, honestly, after the second cup, you're not gonna notice a difference.

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: But over the course of 2 years, you're gonna lose £14 worth of calories. In just shifting between whole milk and 2% milk.

Bill Simpson: Great example. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Right. And so it's all about what small consistent changes can I make habits that are gonna ultimately lead into the life I want?

Bill Simpson: Very good.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. So that that's my 1% mentality.

Bill Simpson: I love that approach because it's it's gradual, and that's how we change. We don't, you know, I mean, you went cold turkey in your story, and that's pretty rare for most people. But to take those 1% jumps, that's doable. That's something you can attain.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. It's reasonable for any human being to change 1%.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. Yeah. I love. So, What would you say to the guy out there, or woman? Because I do have women listening, but mostly.

Bill Simpson: We're men focused here. Yeah. Absolutely. What would you say to a guy out there who has experienced any or all of what you've been through, to get them to that point of change?

Chase Warburton: Welcome to the human experience. You're not alone. I mean, you just heard Bill and I talk. He was he was exposed to porn when he was 6. I was exposed to pornography when I was 8.

Chase Warburton: You know, I've struggled with all of the suicidal ideation and the depression and the anxiety and the OCDs and all those things. And I've met with I've I've met so many people who are going through the same experiences as you. And this is a little bit of a shock, and I hope it is, is you're not special. Right. And those things, if you think you're alone, if you think no 1 else understands you, fun fact, you're not special.

Bill Simpson: Oh, you're special just like everybody else.

Chase Warburton: Exactly. You're special just like everyone else because we're all made unique and in god's image, and that's all incredibly important. But your situation isn't unique.

Bill Simpson: Exactly.

Chase Warburton: Right. There's 8, 000, 000, 000 people in this world. You can't tell me there's not at least 1 or 2 other people out there who have gone through something similar. So I I would I would first tell you, talk to your best friend about it as hard as that might be I guarantee if you talk to your friend, 1 of 2 things is gonna happen. He's either gonna meet you with a lot and say, dude, me too.

Chase Warburton: Mhmm. Right. And your connection's gonna be deeper. Or he's gonna say, what? Gross.

Chase Warburton: And then you're gonna realize he's not an actual good friend, and you're gonna go find some people who are gonna say me too.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. And that support that person that that is supportive that that has been through what you've been through in my experience that's where the healing takes place is having that support, knowing that you're not alone, and now you can move forward to change.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Everyone needs love to feel valued and to be accepted. Yeah. Right. And how can you expect to be loved, feel valued, and accepted if you don't give people the opportunity to love value and accept you.

Bill Simpson: And your story about coming clean with all that you'd been through, and it was met with love. Well, there you go. That was your catalyst to move forward to change because you got that loving support.

Chase Warburton: Absolutely. And and for you listening, you you awesome dudes, Right? There is someone in your life right now who's that catalyst for you. Just waiting for you. Whether they know it or not, the catalyst does, but they're waiting to love and accept you.

Bill Simpson: And let's bring that to their significant other, their spouse or partner. You said earlier that You know, you were dabbling in porn even after you were married and things like that. What would you say to the guy out there who needs to come clean with their spouse or partner.

Chase Warburton: It's the hardest best thing you're ever gonna do in your entire life. Right. Because by choosing to stay in your addiction, there's a few things that you choose. And and this is a pretty harsh opinion, but it's true. You're choosing to hurt your wife.

Chase Warburton: You're choosing to betray your wife. You're choosing selfishness and you're choosing insecurity. By coming forward and talking to your wife, you're choosing your wife, you're choosing responsibility, you're choosing accountability, and you're choosing change.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. And it's a big risk to come clean. Right?

Chase Warburton: It is. You know, there there's a good chance that you're gonna come clean to your wife and she's gonna leave you. Mhmm. Right? That's a risk you're gonna have to take.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. But to stay in it and continuing to feel that shame or whatever it is that going on on the inside that's causing you to do even more or whatever. Mhmm. That's a pretty heavy price to pay.

Chase Warburton: Oh, 100%. There are some research that I've heard about that as you choose to dabble in pornography and masturbation, anytime you do it, the threshold that you currently live at, there's a major drop in your ability to purchase dopamine to be happy and to live and to your energy levels. All of it drops aggressively. And then it doesn't quite come back up to the same. So by choosing to stay in your addiction, you're actually all of the fear, all of the anger, all of the tiredness.

Chase Warburton: The exhaustion, everything you're experiencing, you're actually making it worse.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Right. And it goes back to the long game that Bill was talking about. Right? It's that delayed gratification. That a lot of those guys that first get into addiction recovery work and they're choosing to fight for their hearts.

Chase Warburton: For those guys, I've got 2 pieces of advice. The first is to read wild at heart by John Eldridge.

Bill Simpson: Right.

Chase Warburton: He yeah. And have you ever heard of that book before?

Bill Simpson: Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Phenomenalized. I

Bill Simpson: mean, I I blank on a author's names, but the title I got that 1. Yeah.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Wild at heart. And it's gonna tell you how to be a man fully within your heart. And then the second that as you choose sobriety and you choose your wife and you choose a fullhearted life, over time, you'll start to realize and you'll start to see that the life without it is so much more rich, so much more full, so much more fulfilling Doesn't mean it's perfect. It just means it's so much better.

Bill Simpson: And no matter what your addiction is, whether it's the porn or drugs or alcohol or Whatever. Yeah. Right.

Chase Warburton: I'm gonna break down addiction into 3 steps.

Bill Simpson: Go ahead.

Chase Warburton: You're ready for this bill? I love this. This is amazing. So 3 things happen. That causes an addiction.

Chase Warburton: There's a trigger. Right. Some out world experience. And then there is a reaction to that trigger, which is typically the addiction. And then after that action, there's a response.

Chase Warburton: That's an entire addiction. I'm stressed because my wife is yelling at me. So I go and watch porn and masturbate, and the response to that is I feel better. Right, in the moment. Exactly.

Chase Warburton: In the moment. There's that dopamine dump. I feel high. I feel wild. I feel dangerous.

Chase Warburton: Right? It's exciting. And it's a tool. Right? Addiction is just a tool.

Chase Warburton: So the trick is to figure out what the trigger is. Change the response to get a better outcome.

Bill Simpson: And that goes back to self awareness because a lot of that is subconscious repeating of patterns that you've gotten into and you're not even aware that that's happening. It's just automatic pilot.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. You know, like, I always tell people, like, if you just had a relapse pool, what's the last theme you remember before you relapse. I was angry at my wife. Perfect. Now we have a threshold.

Bill Simpson: There you go.

Chase Warburton: So next time you know you're angry at your wife, you know exact what you're about to choose unless you change the response.

Bill Simpson: Right. Right.

Chase Warburton: Maybe You can

Bill Simpson: accept that you want to.

Chase Warburton: And

Bill Simpson: that's part of what I teach in with mindfulness. You know, you can accept that you you you're angry and you wanna go act out. Yet you act on what's important to you. Is this gonna hurt my wife? Is this gonna hurt me?

Bill Simpson: You know, what's my value here? And when I can choose that versus the behavior, you're on your way.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. A 100%. Yeah. Maybe a skill to leave your your guests with. Right?

Chase Warburton: If you have a significant other or a spouse, or kids or parents, someone that you love in your life, I want you to take a picture of them and make it your cover. On your phone or wherever you choose to act out, laptop, desktop phone. And any time you're gonna choose to act out, I want you to take a really good look at that person that you love. And I want you to say, you're worth more. Beautiful.

Chase Warburton: Right? Yeah. You're worth more. And then put the phone down, get, you know, get up and get out. But choose them before you choose the other.

Bill Simpson: And oftentimes they need support. It's not just putting it down and moving away, but go get some support.

Chase Warburton: Yeah. Phone calls.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. Whatever it takes. Mhmm. Well, good, brother. Chase, I really appreciate your your time today.

Bill Simpson: Just You know, and your your vulnerability to share your story with such openness is just amazing. And, you know, you're you're helping us to destigmatize mental health. And that's what all this is about. And if someone wants to get in touch with you and to find out more about You in the wellness center. How would they go about doing that?

Chase Warburton: Yeah. There's a couple of ways. So you can go directly to my podcast. Right? On YouTube, if you look up the wellness center podcast or on Spotify or Apple, you can find me there.

Chase Warburton: If you wanna contact me personally, you can get to my email at Chase atthewellnesscenter.life. If you wanna go to my website and learn a little bit more about what I do like day to day as well as my podcast, you can go to www.thewellnesscenter. Life. And those are all the best ways to get in contact with me.

Bill Simpson: Alright. And for those listening, I will have that in the show notes as well. Well, Chase, thank you so much for sharing your story and all that you do. And I wish you continued success and everything.

Chase Warburton: And, Bill, thank you so much for creating a platform to destigmatize mental health of the fight that you're doing is the most righteous and worthy cause that we as men can do. So for those listening as well, please make sure to like and subscribe to this podcast. Bill is a stud.

Bill Simpson: Thank you, good, brother. I appreciate it, Chase.

Chase Warburton: Thank you, Bill.

Bill Simpson: And someone of your age, you said you're 28 years old. And to have this consciousness and the the 18 years of of what you've been through to be where you are today. Brother, that takes a lot of courage and strength and to see a young man do this is inspiring to me. So just give yourself some props there.

Chase Warburton: Thank you, Bill. It's it's been a very hard fought fight. No. Against all odds, it's it's been a lot of work, and it's been worth every every arc moment.

Bill Simpson: Yeah. I hear you. I mean, I tell that, you know, to my patients and clients that, you know, this hard work, it is hard work. It doesn't just just because you think about it, you know it. And then you go on.

Bill Simpson: No. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of practice. And yet every bit of that work in practice, makes it all worthwhile.

Chase Warburton: Absolutely. Thank you, Bill.

Bill Simpson: And that's gonna do it for this bonus episode of the men on the path to love podcast. The rising above addiction with Chase Warburton episode. I'm Bill Simpson, your host. I thank you for listening. And I thank Chase once again for sharing his story and his knowledge with us.

Bill Simpson: You can find Chase's contact information and links in the show notes. Now coming up on the next episode of the men on the Path to Love podcast, I'll be talking about passive aggressive behavior. You know, like when someone says they're okay, when they're not, or they give you the silent treatment or cold shoulder, they pow, they use sarcasm, or maybe the agreed to do something and then don't do it. Well, I'll talk about how crazy making passive aggressive behavior can be in relationship and what you can do about it. Whether it's your spouse or partner doing it or you doing it.

Bill Simpson: Please join me for the hidden agendas, overcoming passive aggressive behavior in relationship, episode. Now remember, if you have topic or idea you'd like for me to talk about, or if there's something going on in your relationship you need help with, or just wanna give me some feedback. I would love to hear from you. Please email me at bill@menonthepathtolove.com, or just go to my website at menonthepathtolove.com where you can download my free cheat sheet 5 ways to communicate better in relationship. You can all sign up for a free coaching session on how to communicate better in relationship.

Bill Simpson: That's at men on the path to love.com. And I would be totally grateful if you were to spread the word about my podcast. Tell a friend or a neighbor or post it on social media, whatever, share the link and share the love. And until next time, keep your heart open, and stay. On the path below.

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