#18: Family Life With Herpes | Parenting Fears, HSV1, HSV2, Fever Blisters, Outbreak Prevention & Natural Treatment Options

Family Life With Herpes | Parenting Fears, HSV1, HSV2, Fever Blisters, Outbreak Prevention & Natural Treatment Options

A riveting and eye-opening chat with Alexandra Harbushka, the founder of Life With Herpes. Join us as we break the taboos of herpes, discuss some interesting statistics, and shed light on the myths around this virus.

We also dive deep into natural cures and breakout prevention techniques.

Alexandra’s life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. Shaking, feeling like her life - her goals, happiness, and desires - had all just gone up in smoke, she was left scared shitless and with a new mission, to share her story with people just like her and to let them know that their feelings are normal, natural and that they are not victims. With that mission in mind, she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, a website, a Youtube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition, and an online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living with herpes.

https://www.ecocratesofamerica.com
https://www.pinterest.com/ecocratesofamerica

DISCLAIMER:
Thank you for listening to the Eco Mama podcast. Please note that this podcast's information is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is based on personal experiences and opinions. We are not licensed healthcare providers; the content should not be considered professional medical advice.

We encourage you to consult a healthcare provider before changing your diet, exercise routine, or lifestyle. The information shared on this podcast is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Furthermore, any views or opinions expressed on this podcast are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. The content is intended to be informative and enjoyable.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts, guests, or anyone associated with the Eco Mama podcast will not be held liable for any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused by the information or opinions shared on this podcast.

Thank you for your understanding, and we look forward to continuing to share our journey toward a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle with you.

Transcript

Jaime Snell: 0:44

welcome to the ECO Mama podcast. Today I have the privilege of speaking with Alexandra Haka. She's joined us today to share a little bit about her mission in life and her business, which is called Life with Herpes. One day, her life was set into an upheaval when she received a call from her doctor. Informing her that she had been diagnosed with herpes. She was shaking. She felt like her life and her goals and happiness had gone up and smoked. She left with a resolve for a new mission in life to share her story with people just like her, and to let them know that their feelings were normal, natural, and that they were not victims with that mission in mind, she founded Life with Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, a website, a YouTube channel, wellness product. To support the skin conditions and online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living with herpes. So welcome today, Alexandra. How are you today? I'm so excited. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We've been talking about this for a couple of months, so Yes. Yeah, so we met at Podcast Fest in Florida, gosh, four months ago now, almost four months ago. Three and a half at least. Yeah, something like that. I'm glad we could finally get time together to share this information. So I've invited Alexandra today on the ECO podcast to talk with us a little bit about the educational side of herpes, the importance of breaking the stigma, but also as a mama, the things that we worry about if our children get it or if we have it, how to deal with it. Some of the traditional ways and also some of the more natural ways and the difference between traditional and natural, what's more important, et cetera. So why don't we just go ahead and start, and I will let you tell us about why you first began sharing with the world, what your diagnosis is, was, and what motivated you to do so. Kind of what you were talking about with my introduction and you know, I never thought I was gonna get herpes. We always had the idea of that, you know, we know who gets STDs, right? Or we have this preconceived notion prior to getting, being diagnosed with an S T D. And I was like, well, I'm not that girl. I'm not gonna get that because I'm not gonna partake in those behaviors that would get me in that physician. And so come to find out it is. So, I mean, the amount of people that have herpes is. Astronomical. And, and it's very actually difficult to kind of avoid. But we can talk about that in a second. So, like I said, I was, you know, 27, 28 years old, and when I got the phone call from my doctor, I was just absolutely suffocated. I was wounded, I was you know, I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was scared about. My future. I thought that anything that I had desired, my hopes, my dreams, my whatever I wanted in life, I really thought that was going, was gone. That didn't have that option anymore because now I have this lifelong s t d because of a choice that I made. And. What I learned, so I call it my EOR phase, and Eeyore is the character in Winnie the Poo and eor. You know, as we know, he just has the rain cloud over him. He's just, life is hard for EOR and, and well I'm just doing what I do best. Just gonna sit here, you know, EOR. So I thought to myself, okay, I cannot stay this in this way. I was turning 30. I do not wanna be EOR anymore. And I needed to get my ducks in a row. I needed to figure it out. And little by little, I had to pick myself up. I had to crawl out of my, rain cloud. And what I realized is it took me two years and I didn't want people. To also go through life with two years. And as I've talked to thousands of people since starting life with herpes in 2017, some people stay in their ER phase for their life. Some people stay in their ER phase, you know, lifelong. And they've, they've made decisions based off of microscopic virus, but 80% of the population has. And so you have some people that are like, well, I never got married because I never thought anybody would want me, or I never had kids. Wow. Because I never thought that I could, or I've talked to parents that are like, I never did Marco Polo in the pool, which, I mean, I can, I can miss out on a few of those games. But it's tragic to say I never got in the pool with my kids because I thought that I could transmit it in the water. You know, all these things that I'm going, oh my gosh, you, you missed out. And so I really took it upon myself to. Educate the world on it and, and start teaching people and getting'em out of their EU phase. I love that you were motivated to do that because it is something that people do not want to talk about, they shy away from. Yeah. When I was speaking with a friend of mine and how I was sharing with her that I was excited you were coming on and that I was gonna have you on and share with, with my audience also, that I was diagnosed with herpes many years ago. And we, we'll get into the how and whys of it, but just my own personal journey, I'm not too sure when I got it because at a younger age I was diagnosed with H S V. Mm-hmm. And from what I understand, and I, maybe you can educate me because Yeah. You don't talk to many people about it. I've understood that herpes could be a, something that's dormant and come out later in life if you're diagnosed with hsv. Ok. So even though I did not have an outbreak until I was married I really don't know for sure. You know what I mean? Like, so, right. It's. Chicken or egg, I guess that would be a, a thing like which, which one came first and how did it happen? But it so eventually did. And as a mom, like I was just always nervous. But I, and here I am going off on a tangent, but I shared with my friends that I had never told before that I had herpes, but I was excited to have you on and that I was excited to talk about it because I love to talk about things that. Give us an opportunity to, number one, dispel myths, right? And help educate ourselves so that we can be more empowered on how, on our own health and how we treat ourselves and take care of ourselves, right? But also to get rid of anything that's shameful, because life is too short to be ashamed of something that you cannot control. And yes, there are preventative measures to begin with, but once it happens, it happens. So you have to learn in life as, as you coach your clients. But she told me two days later that the reason she was really quiet when I disclosed to her that I have it which I didn't even notice the pause. She's like, I have it too, but I know I've never really told anyone. Mm-hmm. And I was like, wow, I'm, I'm so grateful for you to be vulnerable to me. You know, she told me that, and I, and she was nervous to tell me to begin with. But, and I don't even think it was because of judgment at that point, because we are good friends. I think it was just more of she's always carried that shame and that stigma that it's not okay to have it. Mm-hmm. So I'm just grateful that you listened to your heart to like start talking about it and getting it out there and letting people know they're not alone and dispelling those myths. Yeah. Cuz you don't wanna miss out on life or not do things that you know you were meant to do. Right. Cause of that. Exactly, and it's just, it's a couple of things that hold us back. It can be something that we learned generational. You know, maybe we can look at our, our parents, our grandparents, and maybe they have something that they dealt with. So whether that was learned, it can be societal, right? We can just look at society. Society is deemed people with herpes as, ew, gross, you know? And also it can be cultural. You know, you can look at certain cultures and, and everybody has a different outlook on sex, and the majority of it is taboo. Mm-hmm. I yet to really meet a culture that is like, cool with it. I think maybe up in the like, You know, like Norway, Denmark, I think, I actually think I don't have anybody from there. So either there's no herpes over there or it's just like whatever. But, but we are just, it is, it is absolutely crushing and Like I said, you know, the, the virus is, it, it's pretty hard to to miss. And when I talk to a lot of people, I'm like, I don't know anybody with it. And I'm like, well, unfortunately that's not true. And yeah, you probably do. You just don't know they have it. Exactly, exactly. You just don't know that they have it. And. What's really frustrating, I think for a lot of people with genital herpes specifically, is they think that's the bad herpes and or oral herpes, cold sores. Well, that's, that's, that's okay. Like everybody has that. But I don't have it down there. Ew. I wouldn't get it down there. So, so that's kind of the big shocker. And unfortunately what has happened, the virus has gotten very smart and the virus its way to procreate is to obviously transmit to the next person. And so it's gotten very smart. And H S V one, which has more prominent orally, has now moved genitally. So we have people doing things with their mouth. They have oral herpes, they have herpes. They don't think that it can be transmitted down there. And so in those activities, it gets transmitted down there. And so now HSV one genital is just as prominent as HSV two genital. Wow. And yeah. And so especially in our teens, our twenties, those, those age groups very prominent. For HSV one and HSV one is far more common. Two out of three people have HSV one, which is really common. So if you think about yourself and think about your two parents, Technically, at least one of you has it. Oh, my mother. My mother has it. She gets the cold source and she's always had really bad breakouts when they used to go out in the boat, the son would be one of her triggers for a line. Just be one people. Yep. And my son my son has it, he's only eight years old and he has HSV one, he gets cold sores. And the first year I noticed an outbreak I like was so, Devastated in a sense. I was embarrassed, what happened to him? How could I let this happen? Where did he get it from? Oh my God, could I have transferred it somehow and left it on the, you know, used the restroom, washed my hands on the sink, and then it transferred to him. Like, what could it be? Well, about a year later I had befriended one of the moms in his pre-K class who he was best friends with and her son. Has HS one, HSV one. And I can almost guarantee I was not there. I was not a fly on the wall, but I have a pretty good feeling. Best friends in pre-K, you share everything, you even share lollipops, you know? Right. And probably just got it from sipping off somebody else's drink or bite. I haven't taken bite of my sandwich or you know, whatever it, it's, or just playing. Right. And so thankfully like time showed me that it did not need to be shameful or. Or concerned that it was my fault and that, okay, here's the circumstances and this is how we deal with it. But one of the things I was very excited about learning from you today, in addition to the information and the stats to share with the audience is about some natural ways to, to deal with it. Like right. How can you kind of help either minimize it? Cause once you have the virus, it, it's for forever with you. Is that correct? I mean, at this point, we don't know how to get rid of viruses from our bodies, right? Who knows in the future, but as we know when, if we get a virus, we have the virus in our body. We're the host for that, bo for that virus, for the rest of our life, all viruses, right? But eventually they can die out. They're still there, they can kind of like burn out, you know what I mean? Like, they're like, they're just not as active. But yes, you have it for the rest of your life and for some people they can be asymptomatic, meaning they just don't get outbreaks. And other people are like, what? You don't get outbreaks? I get'em every week. You know? So everybody's so different. Yeah. Well, thank you for that. So with it being so taboo I've never really had the conversation with my son's friends or their parents, but it, it's been, it's not a blessing that he has it by any means, but it's a blessing that I have the heart of open communication with my children, so they all are very familiar with it, how it can get transferred now. So that piece of education was given to my children at a young age because of his early diagnosis, contraction and outbreak. And I, I wish that it was, Less taboo so that we could teach our children. I'd listened to one of your previous podcasts where you had a guest on and she was in high school and she didn't even think twice about it. She didn't even know her friend had an outbreak and she put on some of that chapstick and they shared and shoot a chapstick, and within 24 hours she had an outbreak. It's crazy how fast it works. And it's horrendous too, because it is so painful. It's such a painful virus when you don't go about taking some of the precautions for the outbreak. So speaking of the precautions, like what are some things you suggest to minimize outbreaks? So number one, so this virus loves to feed on your stress. So it's definitely one that if you are stressed, if your cortisol levels are increased, if you're in your fight or flight phase, if you are lacking sleep, the virus is like, let me show up. It like, it loves that, so. You can look at that in two ways. You can look at it. I was like, oh, this thing, shut up again. Or you can look at it and say, oh, okay, I got this. What was I doing? Was I not sleeping? Was I What was I doing? You know was I not taking care of my body? Was I not doing meditations or prayer? Was I not spending time outside? So anything you can do to lower your cortisol, so lower that fight or flight that's going on your body, that adrenaline, like when you feel that adrenaline going through your veins, that is a, like a huge trigger. And it could be a positive adrenaline too. Like let's say you run a marathon Exactly. You could pro. So it's not necessarily when you're. Negatively stressed. It could be a positive stress or like you've got a job interview coming up and it's like your dream job, but your body's still going under that stress and your, your quarters are levels, like you mentioned, we're going up. So whether it's good or bad. Yeah. Stress. Yeah. Our body doesn't know the difference from, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. It's Christmas morning tomorrow to, you know, and that's like excited and you can't sleep and you're just so excited that you're, it's Christmas morning to, to, oh my gosh, I can't sleep because I'm so stressed about. I have a big project due tomorrow and I didn't get it done. Like it doesn't know the difference. So that's just something to be aware of. So, so yeah, look at it and say, okay, what have I been doing? And be aware of that. So if you know you're going into a season in your life, maybe you're an accountant and you're like, this is the worst year, or you're, yeah, you work, you know, worst time of the year for me, or you work in retail or whatever, if you know you're going into a season, just be a little more cautious with your body. And you're, you are your, just being aware of that. That's harder to track, obviously, to stress is something like everybody has. We need it to a certain point. Yeah. But it definitely does get Impacted it can be a ripple effect. Some other things that we can do, and what's really interesting about this virus is it feeds off of a protein that is essential to us. So there's two proteins specifically when we talk about herpes. There's two amino acid or essential proteins. So we have arginine is, is is an essential amino acid that Fuels are, it's so great for our cardiovascular health. It's great for our vascular health. It improves your athletic performance. So a lot of athletes are given arginine protein that for, for their athletic performance, the herpes virus loves it, loves it. It is this something that the body naturally produces? No. Okay. That's the thing. And is it natural or is it synthetic? It's natural. We get it from our foods, we get it. So it's a natural protein that is given as like a supplement to athletes. Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to make sure I understood. Yeah. So, so for example, if you're an athlete or, or you know, you, you do you know, pre, pre-workout smoothie or pre-workout protein powder or post-workout protein powder, or you're a cyclist, so you're gonna go get the, the special little protein things to eat while you're on your a hundred mile bike ride or whatever, whatever, whatever. Most of that stuff is added, arginine is added to it because you, you, your body needs it to do that athletic level. So we get arginine from foods that have that caffeine. So coffee beans have it nuts our, our pure arginine. So a lot of times they're like, oh, workout, have nuts. Or as women, we like to get like the little Trader Joe packets and throw'em in our purse, right? So those are really high in arginine. Coconut, coconut milk, and coconut. The meat Is very high in arginine Peanut butter, very high in arginine. So again, you think about smoothies, so they're like, oh, do you wanna throw in an extra for like$2? You want an extra like peanut butter, or do you want a little extra? Do you want some coconut shavings? Or you want the protein powder? Cashew cash. That's all arginine. Again, it's not bad for us. We need it, but for the herpes virus, it is miracle grow. It allows it to replicate at a larger, faster time on the flip side, but another essential amino acid. Is lysine. So again, the, when I, when you use the word essential for the amino acid, it means that we have to get it from our food source. We don't produce it, but again, we need it. It's the building blocks of our entire body, so, so lysine is excellent for our tendons. It also helps our body metabolize other minerals and nutrients. That also is really essential for co collagen. Collagen's also really high in arginine. So for all those women that are like, oh, I'm taking collagen powder. Oh no, I take collagen powder. Well, if you're not getting outbreaks, that's awesome. I'm not right now, so I'm good. Thank you. It's good to know. Yeah. So lysine again, essential. We need it. Li the herpes virus cannot stand lysine suffocates it, it prevents it from replication. It's like now lycine also in tomatoes. Is that what I'm thinking? There's Lycine and arginine are in tomatoes, so I'll get into, yeah, I'll get into that. So, sorry, sorry. Okay. No, no, no, that's fine. So, so things that are high in lycine are fish, shellfish, protein cruciferous vegetables, so broccoli, cauliflower you can have asparagus, spinach. Potatoes are high in lycine, huh? Brussel sprouts, brussel sprouts, avocados, so, so basically just, you know, protein, vegetables, fruits. the stuff that's not the yummy stuff, like the chocolate and the coconut milk and Yeah. And all that. So the stuff that's natural of the earth without the processing, right? So those are gonna be high end lacings. So you can kinda look at it and you can, you can, I, I have a pdf d you can download and it has listed out what's high in Lycine. What's high in arginine? It's outbreak remedies.com. It's 21 pages. You can go through it. It has. So much good information. Great, thank you. I'll, I'll definitely include a link to that in the show notes. That's awesome. Like I said, it's a free, free download. Lots of great information. So you can kind of look at that. I have found that the cleaner I eat, so when I eat clean foods that are not processed, I can have coconut. Because I'm not getting the coconut smoothie that has the additive of the, like if I just have like raw coconut and put it in my, my bread or something, so I make my breads from scratch. It's fine. It's when I'm buying something that's from the store that's been processed that doesn't work. You can take supplements, you can take lycine supplements. I take lysine supplements daily. That's really important for me. It really, really helps. So you can take it daily to prevent outbreaks or the prodrome of the tingles. You can also take it when you have outbreaks. I take more when I have outbreaks to help speed up the recovery. And so Lycine is more like your natural solution to Valtrex. Cause Valtrex is commonly given for those and some are told that they should take one tablet a day for the rest of their life to prevent outbreaks. And that just kills me to think you have to take a prescription drug for the rest of your life just to function normally. So when there's alternatives, I like to learn what they are. And you asked about tomatoes and for some people I. Tomatoes are like, I can't even get near a tomato. I'll get an outbreak. Other people are like, like I can eat all the tomatoes I want and I don't get outbreaks. I have a sister-in-law that's like, I can't even get near a tomato. Like I can't even look at it, you know? Wow. So when we look, talk about nightshades, which are things that cause inflammation in our body For some people with herpes nightshades can be triggers for people. So those are tomatoes, peppers. Eggplant and potatoes. And for some people, again, nightshades are like a world of a difference and other people are like, nah, it's fine. So again, this is not a hard line in the sand that's saying you can never have a, a peanut butter. Cake or you can never a peanut butter brownie again. If you're trading for a marathon, it's in the middle of tax season and your dad is in the hospital, the last thing you wanna do is go and eat these foods because it's only going to feed the stress that's already in your body and Right. You, unless you want an outbreak, you know, that would be a good formula for an outbreak. Exactly. I get it. And, and there are times and like, be aware of it, you know, if, your mom makes the best, peanut butter, chocolate cake, and that's what you want for your birthday because your mom makes it, then be aware and it's okay. Enjoy it. Maybe on some of that lysine, like if you, if you're taking it as a supplement, take a little bit extra of that to help counterbalance. Does it, is it a counterbalance? Exactly. Yeah, it does. And I'll do that too. Going into it knowing like, oh, I'm gonna be doing, I'm gonna be traveling, or I'm gonna be doing this. I'm gonna take more. Another supplement that I have found, it's new to me in the last three years, it's now something I live by. It is called Mono Loren. And I don't know if anyone has heard of Mono Loren. It's, it's originally loic acid, which is found in human breast milk. Just human breast milk, not cows, not anything. And the reason why it was discovered is, How is it that babies are born? Some are born in hospitals, a very sanitary situation. Others are born in, the on the prairie on the floor, it's the chickens and everything. How are the barn sur the barn, whatever. Yeah. How are they surviving and not getting sick? And it's because our breast milk makes what's called loic acid. So do coconuts. Coconuts also make it? And what it does is it breaks down an enveloped virus. So when you have a u, an enveloped virus, Which is the herpes virus. The HSV virus is enveloped. The cold, the flu, covid, those are all enveloped viruses. They have a shell around them like an egg, and our immune system cannot penetrate through that shell. So what Mono Lauren does is it. It disrupts that outer shell, the enveloped virus, it disrupts it. So then our immune system can go in and fight that virus. It can fight what's going on in our body. So I also take monolo daily. I, I can give you guys links if, if it's something that you wanna research and do your own, I'd highly recommend that. Of course, before taking anything. But there's a lot of studies done. For Mono and HSV specific. Wow. Yeah, no, I would love those. I'd love to include those links too. I mean, I geek out when it comes to research somebody. Yeah. Other people. Some people just wanna listen to it and be told how to fix it. I like to dig deeper, so I like to give both options. Right. And so we kind of talked a little bit about lifestyle again. What's your stress level like? Are you sleeping? Are you, or are you burning the candle from both ends? Are you someone that's always hectic? And is that maybe you can take notice and make little changes every single day? I, daily make changes I need to calm down right now. And having a sun has been really helpful. Like today, we spent the morning blowing dandy lions, walking barefoot. And that just forces you to slow down. You know, so those are just little things opposed like, oh, we gotta go. We can't, we're have time to blow Dan light. You know? Like, no, it's actually really good for you to be out in the sun, sunshine for 10 minutes. It is just playing. So, and, and grounding. I love walking outside there, but, and grounding so. Mm-hmm. Let's see. I was curious also about your take on the prescription creams, and we talked a little bit about the Valtrex, but I know that there a lot of times when we get sick, a a many people, not as, a lot of people will go straight to the doctor or call the doctor or Google, which is not safe either. There are things out there that I'm trying to help people learn that there are other ways that you can do to try to help prevent or treat, and then if it persists, definitely seek metal attention. I've never Right, always advised that. But your take on the prescription creams and Val Trax and the method of freezing, I heard that was, that was one way. Some people have it treated, they had it frozen off when they get. When I was first diagnosed, I was on Valtrex and I went on and off, on and off. I then would started dating someone different who did not have herpes, and I was on it for about three years straight every single day. I didn't like taking it. I didn't wanna take it, but. It is, it is the best way to prevent transmission to a partner. So if you were in that spot, it's like birth control pills. No one can disagree that taking, you know, a birth control pill is gonna be more effective than the pullout method. Like you can't disagree with that. You know what I mean? Yeah. You get to a point in a relationship where you're like, okay, I think it's gonna be okay. But there's might be a time in your life you're like, I don't even want to think about getting pregnant. So it is gonna be the best way to prevent transmission to a partner. It lessens the transmission rate by 48%. They give it to you when you're pregnant as well. If you have been diagnosed with herpes. They do. They do it to suppress it during childbirth so that you don't have any breakouts when the birth comes. Correct? Correct. I no longer take it. I long term it can be hard on your body, it could be hard on your kidneys. I do not take it daily. I don't. Like the idea of taking it daily. I don't like the idea of being forced to take a medication when your body can get to the point of suppressing it. But there are times in your life where you're like, for example, again, if you're an accountant and you're like, I get one every single tax season. Yeah. I can't, I can't deal with it for those two weeks. I totally get it. Right. If you're like, Hey, I'm dating someone new. I just don't wanna add that into it. I just can't handle it. Great. If you're a student and you're like, during finals, I get outbreaks every single, single final, like, cool, take it. If you're like, I try, I get it every time I travel and I'm going, it's my honeymoon. I totally get it. Yeah. Like there's times when you're like, I just can't mess around with it. Absolutely. So there's time and a place for it for sure. With modern medicine. Medicine. Let me ask you this. So also for, there are some like steroid style creams and numbing creams that are out there. What would be, I think XX is one of them. That's one that I've heard and used in the past. Is there anything that, let's say you didn't catch it in time, you did get an outbreak. You're doing what you can to help. Help it work through your system as much as possible, minimizing your stress, taking the lysine avoiding the, the other one that you mentioned. And it hurts though. It bothers you. It, it's painful. So is there a cream that can help minimize that pain? I've never tried the creams personally. What I, I do a little bit more natural. So there's things like essential oils that you can use. You can use peppermint. I like tea tree oil. You could take an Epson salt bath. Epson salt. Naturally. That's what I meant in, in alternative to the creams is what I was trying to ask. So I don't use any of those creams. I created a product line specifically for that specifically. Oh, wow. For the pain. Specifically to help wound repair, skin repair antivirals. So they're, they're all naturally formulated with different essential oils, different natural oils, mm-hmm. To be used on your body to help with, again, wound repair, pain, and all that. So some of the best ways, EP and salts, I mean, that just totally calms your body. The salts help with the itching, help with the pain. Lot of my, not all of my products, some of'em have C, B, D in it. And C B, D, I can't say it. It helps, it may help those, I have to be very specific with my words here. It may help with the pain. It is known to help with pain. So a lot of my products have C b, D in them. But again, I, I use certain essential oils like eucalyptus, peppermint, those are all some natural essential oils that definitely help with the pain. So if someone were to apply an essential oil, you still would suggest use a carrier oil on the skin directly? Oh, yeah. Yeah, not everyone knows that. So if you, if you do use an essential oil directly on your skin, you should always need a, a carrier oil. It could be olive oil, it could be coconut oil, avocado oil. Just something that will kind of help dilute it and protect your skin at the same time that it's healing it. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. So, all right, cool. Well I think the only other thing that I really wanna touch on is, Parents, the fear giving it to their children. Ah, so I can talk on this? Yes. So, and I'll give you a, a specific example for myself real quick. My outbreaks are on my outer thigh. Okay. And so when I sit down on the toilet, it is right there on the toilet. Okay? My outbreak is, And so then I freak out and I'm like, I've gotta clean the toilet really good. And I don't want him to sit down to go to the bathroom and then it can transfer easily. And so what is your advice for us moms that worry about that? So a couple of things. I like to say that because a lot of people like, well you, cuz I have oral and genital, I have both. And people say, well, do you take baths with your son? Do you kiss your son? Do you, when I say Yes, I do because I. Truly believe the harm in not kissing my son or not doing those natural things that you do with, as a mom. I feel like that's gonna be a, a, a bigger issue in his life than him getting herpes. I can't prevent him from being exposed to herpes. It's out there like, like what happened with your son? He can go to school, he can go to someone's house.

Alexandra Harbushka: 31:30

I love the question about how do we handle it as a mom with our kids, because it's definitely a fear that we have. We don't, because we are the ones with the shame. We're the ones that have the idea that this herpes virus is shameful and wrong and oh my gosh, the guilt of giving it to my child because of something I did wrong to get it right. And, and so that's kind of what, what happens. And so, One of the things that I realized, I have both have HSV one oral, I have HSV two genital. I have both of them. And people ask me, do you kiss your son? Do you get in the shower or the bath? Do you, do you do those things with your son? And I say, absolutely, because it's gonna do more harm to my son if I don't do those things. Then if. Then if I try to prevent transmitting herpes to him, and as we know my little boy, your little boy, our children are gonna go out into the world and they're going to. Pick up someone's juice box. They're gonna share a piece of pizza, they're gonna share a beer, they're gonna be kissed by a relative. They're gonna be kissed by someone that has it and, and it's out there so that you as the mom, are not the only person in the world that has it. You're not preventing your child from this one virus. That is the worst virus in the world. Your child's gonna go out into the world and and be exposed to it. So I, as the mom feel, again, not kissing my son, not sharing these things are gonna be far worse than accidentally transmitting it to him. And when he was a newborn, he was like six months old. I got an oral outbreak. I hadn't had one in years, and I got an oral outbreak and I kissed my son. And I didn't know I had it. It started off I put lip liner on and I went to the beach and we got back from the beach and I was giving him a shower at a friend's house right by the beach. And I gave him, you know, kisses all over his body because he is just six months.

Jaime Snell: 33:24

Yes, they are.

Alexandra Harbushka: 33:25

They smell so good at it. Oh yeah. And I just gave him kisses all over his body and I had the beginning of an outbreak. Oh. And I had no idea and I at someone else's house and I freaked out and I like go to my husband like, we have to leave now. Like we have to leave and I, at that point, I've never wanted to harm myself ever. I've never had those feelings, but I felt that I wanted to harm myself because I was such a bad mom in my mind at that point that I potentially infected my son. I was careless. I wanted to kiss my son. I wanted to cuddle my son, and I was being irresponsible. And I had those thoughts. I couldn't look at him for 24 hours. I was like, I told my husband like, I can't feed him. I can't hold him. He, I don't deserve to be his mother. Like it was bad. Wow. It was bad. And I woke up the next day and I was like, enough, you can, you, your little boy loves you more than anything in the world. You are the perfect mother to him. He doesn't want anybody else. He doesn't care if you have herpes. He doesn't care if you gave him herpes. You know, he just wants you and, and that's all that he needs. And when I kind of realized that, I was like, oh, okay. My son has never had an outbreak. I don't think that he has it. I haven't tested him for him. I'm not gonna test him for it. He's exposed to it. Of course he is. But he's gonna be exposed to it regardless. So I understand where you're coming from as like the toilet, it's an area that he can touch, but the virus is skin to skin. It really likes skin to skin. So can it live on a toilet seat? For a little bit of time. Yeah. Can it live there all day? No. Good. So would it be immediately, like if you got, so I, I have my tea in my cup here. If I had an oral outbreak and took a sip right here on my tea and gave you a sip right after On the exact same spot? Like a cigarette, like a whatever, you know, like something that's like back to back. Yeah. That's why a lot of girls in like the sorority house or you know, they end up all getting it cuz they pass around the lipsticks.

Jaime Snell: 35:29

I'm glad you say that cuz I have always encouraged my girls to not share eye products. Like I've never let them use my mascara or my eyeliner when they started playing with makeup and when they started getting old enough. This Christmas actually, they got their first of their own and they're not allowed to share it and we know what the outbreak is. I, as I mentioned, But you could easily share something, not realizing you had an outbreak,

Alexandra Harbushka: 35:52

right? Or not

Jaime Snell: 35:53

really. Somebody else was going through an outbreak. So they just shouldn't share no matter what with lips or eyes? Well, eyes for, for its own viruses or, and, and stuff that can be transferred, but lips just no, no chant. Gotcha. Right.

Alexandra Harbushka: 36:07

Like, yeah, I, I try to teach my son not to share drinks and I'm like, I try and, you know, Those types of things. Just, just mommy and daddy, you know? I would when I have my outbreaks, do I get in the bath with him? No, of course not. Do I, you know, am I very careful about my towel? Yeah. You know am I careful if I touch, if it, if the outbreak touches something if it can be cleaned, do I clean it? Yeah. But I, don't, again, if I touch it and things like I wash my hands and that's it. I don't wash and then wash and then wash and then wa right. I have gone that route. Yeah. It doesn't help anybody because

Jaime Snell: 36:44

again, well, you would burn out. You would burn out and break down, and it's not worth it. And

Alexandra Harbushka: 36:49

we're not the only people that your child's gonna come in contact with that has it true. So you can't,

Jaime Snell: 36:55

you mentioned something in the beginning about swimming in a swimming pool that some mamas wouldn't even go in the pool or their hot tub with their kids if they had an outbreak, cuz they were afraid of transferring it. Is that, is that a myth?

Alexandra Harbushka: 37:06

If you go to any public pool, I mean, there's hundreds of people in the pool. Like there's people with outbreaks in the pool.

Jaime Snell: 37:13

I have one final question for you. Yes. You get to work with people who just found out about it, and you get to help educate them and let them know that they're not alone. And then those, some of those people actually probably turn into friends over the long time. But you guys come into a community and you share, and you learn and you grow together. So when you get to serve your audience, what is your favorite thing or the most rewarding thing about serving

Alexandra Harbushka: 37:35

your audience? So I get really excited, and I know this sounds, this doesn't sound, this is not gonna come out right. But when I see people cry, I get really excited because I know that on the other side of those tears is a beautiful experience. So I'm not excited when they're crying, of course, like they're in pain. Their, their heart is bleeding. They are bleeding. Like they're, they're, they're in pain. They have been ripped open and betrayed and hurt and all of that. But I am so excited about the transformation that happens and not everybody wants to make that transformation and right, and they will stay in that ER phase, but the people that want to make that transformation are the people that have found my community and whether they know it or don't know it, but they are gonna transform. And what they're gonna realize is, Wow. I completely grew from this experience and had I not gotten herpes mm-hmm. I would've been on a completely different traject trajectory and it probably wouldn't have ended well. So whether that means standing up for yourself, whether that means making boundaries for yourself, whether that means finding that you are extremely confident and giving and getting herpes made you more confident, which sounds like an oxymoron. Like what? Confident, whether it's, so you find all these things that, that we say, well now I have herpes. I can't do this. And I love to ask people, well, tell me about before you had herpes, like, did you still feel you couldn't do that? Yeah. And they're like, yeah. I said, so herpes isn't the issue. Yeah.

Jaime Snell: 39:11

It just becomes an excuse. So it's, it's just a process of learning to learning to love ourselves and to find exactly what is good inside of us. It's not about what's

Alexandra Harbushka: 39:20

outside of us. Exactly. So it's, yeah, whether people get into shape, whether people, you know, get on a health kick, whether they set boundaries with dating, whether they change the way they date. Mm-hmm. There's so many things that happen and it's just this huge butterfly effect. And so I get really excited when I see, I'm like, okay, you're gonna change the most. Yeah. So, no,

Jaime Snell: 39:43

I, I think that makes total sense. And, and I don't see anything. You know, weird or, or sad about that at all? Because you think, so basically when you're saying that once you see someone kind of break down and have that, that sadness and that, it's almost like its own surrender, right? And when you think of those tears, that other side can't come without the tears, just like a sunny day can't have a rainbow without the rain. Exactly. So I think it's just part of the natural course and you know how beautiful it is once they hit that point. Mm-hmm. So I, I see the beauty in that. I commend you exactly. For holding onto that and, and looking for that when they're ready and then you're there waiting for them.

Alexandra Harbushka: 40:21

Exactly. Well, thank you

Jaime Snell: 40:24

so much, Alexandra, for your time today. You're welcome. We will I'll make sure to put all that information that she mentioned in the show notes below, but just, and I'll put how to find you in there, but just for our audience that's listening, how can they get in touch with you if they have more questions? How can they find out about your fabulous natural products and creams? And then how can they join your community if they're interested?

Alexandra Harbushka: 40:46

So go to life with herpes. Whatever your vice is, if you are a YouTube, if you are a podcast listener, if you are an Instagram or if you're a Pinterest, if you're a TikTok, whatever it is life with herpes.com. You can find me out. They name all platforms. All the platforms. Yay. So you'll, you'll find a lot of information there. Like I said, I have that free resource, the 21 page ebook, outbreak remedies.com. You can go there, you can download it for free, and you'll learn about my products and all that stuff. And I'll make sure to you get the links for the. The Laina Monon so that you guys can Oh yeah. So we

Jaime Snell: 41:22

can read a little bit more about it for those that want to do more, more research. So, well, thank you again. I'm so grateful for you taking the time to join us today. And thank you listeners for joining us, and I look forward to seeing you again next week. Thanks.