She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
The Power of Meditation with Jaime Conry & Berta Medina
In this episode, you will meet Jaime Conry and Berta Medina, who were matched in our Let Her Lead program as an established leader participant and coach (respectively).
Jaime is a whiz at all things numbers, finance, and wealth management. And Berta is the coach that almost every single person could benefit from greatly.
In their conversation, these two amazing women dive into the fact that Jaime has been working with her mother at a wealth management firm that her mom started decades ago. They dig into the dynamics that happen when you are working in a family business, the benefits of it, and the frustrations that come with it. Specifically, having to gain trust from the founder of the business, who happens to be a family member of yours, and ensuring they see you as a leader and not just a child that they've known since birth.
There are a lot of nuances and complications that come with this dynamic they'll be diving into as well as talking about the importance of communication and different types of communication styles, especially across different generations. These conversations all converge on the importance that meditation has played in Jaime's life, which becomes very apparent when you hear her legacy statement at the end of this episode.
Now, tune into this amazing conversation between Jaime and Berta.
About Season 2 of the She Speaks Podcast:
Throughout Season 2 we will be featuring the graduates and mentors/coaches in our first cohort of the Let Her Lead program. Each woman you will hear from throughout this season embarked on a 12-week journey in late 2023 to gain new skills and insights to become the leader SHE wants to be.
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Our sponsor partners: Schaad Companies & Knoxville Entrepreneur Center
Our producer & theme music composer: Travis Tench of Oak Hill Audio
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Our photographers: Javon Renee Portraits, Smoke Signal Photography, Ashley Gurley Photography, and Kara Hudgens Photography
Have any questions, comments, or want to connect more with the Let Her Speak community? Contact us at hello@letherspeakusa.org
You're listening to She Speaks, a Let Her Speak podcast that celebrates women's fearlessness, resiliency, and readiness to change the world. [music] Welcome back everyone to the She Speaks series.
This is Catherine Porth, the founder of Let Her Speak. And in this episode, you will be hearing from Jaime Conry and Berta Medina, who are matched in our Let Her Lead program.
Jaime is a established leader and is a whiz at all things numbers and finance and wealth management. And Berta is the coach that I think almost every single person could benefit greatly from.
She is an amazing. amazing person to help you achieve every dream that you have and to succeed in doing that dream. And she will definitely push you to make sure that whatever you say you want to do gets done.
And in their conversation, part of it that you're going to hear is diving into the fact that Jaime has been working with her mother at a wealth management firm that her mom started decades ago.
And the dynamics that happen when you are working in a family business, the benefits of that, the frustrations that come with that,
having to gain trust from the "founder" of the business who happens to be a family member of yours and to be seen as a leader and not just a child that they've known since birth.
And so there's a lot of complications that come with that that they'll be diving into. as well as talking about the importance of communication and different types of communication styles,
especially across different generations. And the importance that meditation has played in Jaime's life, which becomes very apparent when you hear her legacy statement that will be at the end of this episode.
So let's step into this conversation between Jaime and Berta. Berta. Okay, so January was good,
good for you. January was good? Well, I mean, no. January's like the longest month in the world. That's what I was going to say. The other day I saw somebody post something like, so it's already January 45th.
Yeah. I'm like, is 2024 over? Yeah. Aren't we there yet? Yeah. like a week of snow and ice and the flu has done me in.
- But then January is still here, waiting for you to come out of all of that. I feel like the last few years, they've been really long January seemingly.
- I mean, yeah, they have, they have. - I mean, and it's good 'cause I think we're all sort of getting back into the swing of life, right? right? But yeah,
it is. But I know you have a busy December and then you have a busy January. So it's just like fricking takes forever. But yeah, so yeah. All right.
So how's it going? Tell me, talk to me. Tell me how the end of the year was. I know it's a busy time for you and your line of work. And then you're. Yeah.
Yeah, December. December is always busy. You know, we wrap up the year and we've got just different year -end requirements for our clients and so always meeting that.
And so, yeah, December is always crazy mixed in with life being a little extra. Yeah. December life is just extra. So... Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
So... January, January just starts off with people redoing their goals and getting their numbers together. And so we're we're along for the ride of that.
I love it. I love it, Jaime. So how about your goals for 2024 now that we're still sort of on the front end of it? Yeah, yeah, my own goals for 2024.
I think I'm really working on on my own communication style, like especially with, you know, with clients, but also with employees and just in general,
like how I communicate and how I present myself as a big focus of mine for 2024 and really understanding my tendencies and where I could grow in that too.
I love that. And Jaime, I think one of the things that I love most about our time together, first of all, I just, I learned so much from you, but I also feel that you're such a leader,
leader. You know what I mean? So this response that you just gave me about your goal, makes perfect sense for you. I mean, for who I know you to be.
And I think... think one of the things that I really, really uncovered was that you have this total commitment to your clients,
to your practice, to just being a stand for people's dreams in the area that you are, the fact that you get to bring in all this expertise,
which I always am frazzled by, because I think people who have that account accounting money brain, I always have so much admiration for that. But what do you think were the biggest lessons from last year if you could even encapsulate that?
- Oh, lessons from last year. Well, from our time working together, I think it really helped me frame family business. And just 'cause you brought so much perspective to me on this.
how different it is to be in family business. I, I am in a family business. My mom owns the practice and I've worked with her for five. Oh my gosh, almost nine years now.
Time flies. But I think it was so helpful when you and I really could dissect like that parent child relationship inside a working environment because it is different.
I think then you're normal. um, just partnership in a, in a business. Uh, so that I think was, um, really helpful to me to kind of get through some of the things you kind of get stuck on,
um, in that family business relationship. Yeah. And I loved, I think I really loved Jaime that you gave me the perspective of the daughter, right?
Yeah, my children, um, we've always been in business and you know, my ex -husband and I had a business and the kids worked there and then they worked for me when I launched in the title company and when I stepped into coaching full time.
But I always had the mama lens on, right? And even though we know what we want for our kids and the expectations are there, it's not the same as a regular employer employee dynamic.
dynamic. It's almost like a partnership. This is a family legacy building, so you gave me a whole different view of,
"Okay, that makes sense." It was all very beautiful and all -encompassing, and you were so genuine in sharing, and I loved it.
relationship that you and your mom have. So I'm just so grateful for you because I might have never been able to get that perspective about what it was like seeing it from their side.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I do. I do think that was a great part of just us working together. Of course, Catherine is a good matchmaker, but just us working together and...
really exploring, being able to explore that without, you know, sometimes you get caught in the past of the relationship and all that is. So I think it was great because you really could understand that dynamic.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Jaime, let me ask you a question because this was something that I've always been curious about and I work a lot with organizations that happen to be family,
not all of them. them, but many of them have the dynamic where you have the parental role that started the company as the kids were coming of age. The kids sort of grew up in that role.
They're now stepping into that leadership role, and the parent is transitioning out. I see that there are little nuances, but they each have their differences,
but a lot of the the similarities are really the same from a broad, you know, from a bird's eye view. What do you think,
especially that you have so many clients that might be in that space where they're the owners of a family company or they're, you know, transitioning into a different phase of life and the kids are stepping into that role.
What do you think? think? And again, it's almost so hard to put a finger on it, but I'm curious to know since you're living it and you've seen it,
what do you think are some of the really beautiful elements that sometimes people miss because they're in the busy of the busy of the business?
You know, I think it's just such a beautiful... beautiful, um, personal growth moment in, in some ways, just because, and in this is family business or just retiring, because obviously we help people in that phase a lot.
They're shifting to retirement and how do you now work a totally different cash flow system. But it really is, um, it can be very different. You know, some people have a very smooth,
uh, transition, I think in the family business space. space, it does get hard, especially if you're going from Gen 1, who really created this beautiful legacy to pass on.
And now their children might be involved. And it's a beautiful thing. But I think it can be very hard. I think that it can be hard to let go of something that was just just everything,
you know, I mean you put everything you have into this. And so I think it is like it can be such a beautiful growth opportunity for people to see like who am I outside of just this business.
But that can also be really hard. I mean, you know, I think when we've noticed people transitioning that sometimes can be when heart attacks happen because it's just. a very stressful time.
But I think if you do have a plan and you plan and I think it can be beautiful to plan with your children because all of a sudden it's not like you have to just be out. You know, I think that a lot of times retirement comes and you just have an end date.
There's a day where your employer says you're done. I think the beautiful thing about a family business can be that it doesn't have to quite be exactly. that black and white. Now,
that's also the hard part of family business is there's the transition can get a little, a little rough. But I think that's a beautiful part too, is that, you know, you don't,
it's not all or nothing, and you can create as the founder, you can create your own perfect happy medium and in the planning. But I think that something that does help is bringing outside people in to help with that planning.
I think it does get really hard in a family business, especially, I mean, any business it's hard, but in a family business where you have a founder and G2 coming in, having outside people come in to really help with the plan and how it's gonna look is,
I think, very helpful and can really create some great conversation between both G2 generations and where the company is going because you get a chance to kind of reset and really say,
"Okay, what's the next version of this beautiful thing that has already been created?" How beautiful is that? Yeah, like the 2 .0 or the 3 .0,
depending on where you are. And what I've noticed, Jaime, for me is that my children and they're in their mid -30s, they have a very different way of doing it. seeing the world than I did.
We grew up maybe like your mom's generation, right, that we would work or do our business until let's say it's retirement time, and this is the drop -off, like you said, and you move on from there.
And your mom might be a lot like me, where I don't know that I'll ever retire. I just want to do it differently. You want to sort of, and I think maybe what you were just saying you did it so beautifully is just like a weaning into what's next.
But let me tell you that letting go of that control. Listen, I know that that's hard and I've seen it. I've seen it with so many people out there that there's all this trust in the next generation's ability to do it.
it. There's all this confidence in their talents and their skills and their resources and their way of thinking to do it better.
But there's still this letting go of my other baby. You know what I mean? Yes. For sure. There is definitely that other child.
that, but you know, I think also in family business, a lot of times, um, different than when you just hire someone that you don't know their full backstory. It's kind of like sometimes you're like, I know what you were doing when you were 16 years old and making really bad decisions.
So you, you know, there is some of like trying to get through some of that, but I, you know, you have to, and it's in likewise, you know, but you can kind of play that card too, but, um, but yeah.
no, I do think that adds a very interesting dynamic. And that's where a third party can really help focus. But like you said, I think that there can be a beautiful kind of lingering or,
you know, transition that is involved that can can be beautiful and wonderful for everybody because it is hard to let go of your baby. It is,
it is. And I think one of the one of the most beautiful things and I think I, I'm meant to. this to you a few times, you know, that there has to be so much pride for your mom, right? In,
in knowing that, man, this is my girl, right? And I know she's going to take this and she's going to do what she's going to do, which again, sometimes, and, you know, I get called out on that all the time,
you know, we don't express it, but it's there, you know what I mean? Yeah, as kids, we want to hear it, but it's, you know, like I, I, the way that you, you know, handle your stuff,
the way that you treat your clients, the commitment and the passion that you have for really doing right by them and making sure that they're getting the most bang for their buck to,
to, you know, put it in, in, in simple words. But I, I see the passion that you have for your business. So I know that from the Mama Lama perspective. it's got to be like,
man, that's my girl. And they, you know, they, we probably brag about you guys all the time to everyone else. And we forget to tell you, because like I said, I get called out on that all the time.
And I'm like, but you should know, because, you know, that's how we roll. And I've seen it as well with, you know, like you said, that that objective person that comes in and and is talking to both parties separately and together.
And and the way that, you know, I did this, this, I was working with a big construction company here, and I remember the way that the dad would talk about the daughter. And like,
I was crying most of the time. But you hear the daughter talk to me about how she thinks her dad sees her. And it's totally the opposite. and I'm like there is a communication gap here That really needs to be addressed and I think that a lot of times With all the other dynamics that are happening around us Which is what I love what you said there could be room for these great Conversations and these great things
to come up and I think that's lacking right now Well, and even like we do a lot of things transitional wealth, like generational wealth and, you know, you see it there too,
where generation one is kind of planning their wealth for G2. And there isn't a lot of conversations. And people are, 'cause I might come in, my mom might meet with G1,
generation one, and I might meet with G2. And, you know, it's like, it's very clear that everyone has the best intentions at heart. You know, everyone wants... you know, G2 wants to be respectful of G1 and G1 wants to help G2,
but then they aren't talking and then miscommunication happens just because there's no communication, like there's not communication. So I do think that's the hardest part, whether you're talking about generational wealth transfers or business transfers,
you know, just having those conversations or is such such an important part of it. it. Yeah, it's amazing how and that's why I really love what your main intention is for the year about you know improving working on your community because I think you're a great communicator but just working on that communication piece because I really think that that any issues that are happening can be fixed if the communication is if
everybody's speaking the same language or at least aware. of what the language barriers are Now I have an interesting question for you. I'm curious to know Because your daughter's is now a teenager,
right? Almost she'd love to be a teenager. She's 10 But she thinks she's a teenager She already acts like a teenager. Yeah, my my daughter's 12 and she's been teening for a long time She steals all of my skincare.
It's Hey It's She's totally into skincare now. Yes. Yes. How is that a thing? I don't even the other day Yeah, I had to do a photo shoot and I don't know how to I mean I'm 56 I've never learned how to put makeup on but my granddaughter said I'll do it for you And I'm like you're 12.
How do you know and she actually did a great job? I'm thinking this is embarrassing. So so my question is is, I'm curious to know as baby boomers and Gen X,
which I'm on the high echelon of Gen X, I think baby boomers stop at 64, I'm 67, so I'm on the old side of that spectrum, right? As the baby boomers and the high end Gen Xers start to phase into retirement next stage,
whatever whatever it is, cruising for a living, I don't know what it's gonna look like. It's gonna look different for everyone. Do you believe that your generation and your daughter's generation are gonna have much better communication than we did with our kids?
- I'll let you know in like 10 years. I don't know. You know, I think it's so hard because like, I don't know, we will see.
I think that there is a lot more vocab out there and there's a lot more resources available. I mean, you know, how did my daughter learn to do makeup like Instagram reels and TikTok?
And I think there's a lot of that for communication and for different things. And I do think she picks up some of it in school. Like, yeah. know, better communication than I think what was available when I was there.
I know just in her classrooms, they do a lot around communicating with their friends and working through their problems and things like that. And they have like a talking table where they go and they work out their problems themselves.
So, I mean, one would hope that like that is, you know, as a society we're doing better with that, but we'll see. I know.
Do you find that your daughter's much more open with you than you felt you could be with your mom? Probably. I mean, I don't think I talk to my mom like my daughter does to me.
Yeah, yeah, because I've noticed. But I probably did to some extent, but... Yeah, I think we probably did, but it was just a different era. Like, I'm putting,
you know, I'm... in your mom's shoes, right? - Yeah. - But I remember that I, my mom passed. It's gonna be five years this year.
And she never gave me the period talk. And I'm like, I got cheated out of the period talk. And I had the period talk with my daughter when she was five years old. And she had it with my granddaughter when she was five years old.
- Yeah. - You know, we didn't want any surprises, but I'm like, it was just not a thing. Yeah, not a thing, Jaime. And it's so I, so I think we're doing better. We have better tools as,
as, you know, the generations come along. And my hope is that, you know, I mean, my kids talk to me about everything, like I'm sure your daughter does almost things you don't want to know. You don't want to hear.
We're not quite there yet. I do like everything that she says so far, but I'm sure as she gets older. I'm like, oh, maybe I don't need to know everything. Yeah, but you sort of have to, you know, grin and bear it and go cry in the bathroom later or whatever.
But no, and then I'm sure she's going to be great and they're going to be fun. But I feel like every generation becomes more and more open, for sure.
So I'm always curious to see, like, now that G1 G1 is transitioning out in the business world, let's say, and G2 is coming in,
how much different that succession is going to be between G2 and G3? Yeah, yeah, it will be very interesting. And every, yeah, definitely all have their own way that society at the time has,
you know, created them. So it'll be an interesting, but communication is kind of the city. the central part of it all and one would hope we have Evolved I guess it's a better to have better communication,
but Time will tell yes I agree and and Jaime I always admired so much how you Juggle it all because I know that you travel for conferences and and every time you would tell me something I'd be like what is happening right now,
you know how? how do you juggle the running the business, the relationship with mom, the relationship with your daughter, your love relationships? Like how do you do all of that so beautifully and not like lose your mind?
- I meditate, honestly. Yeah, yeah, that's a big thing. But I'm not sure it's really as beautiful. as it looks. My house is,
I have a housekeeper who saves me 'cause there's just some things that don't get done. You know, I got great advice from a couple when I first was having my daughter.
And he was a partner for a big four accounting firm and she was a very good cardiovascular person. pediatric cardiovascular surgeon and they had three beautiful girls and someone asked them,
how do you two do this? And they said, outsource everything that doesn't involve love. And I thought that was just the most beautiful piece of advice.
So, you know, because you can't do it all. You can't do it all. Like you can't keep a clean house and the kids fed and you can't keep a clean house and you can't keep a clean house and you can't keep a clean house and you can't keep a clean house you know all of that and have a job where you know you you're probably working more than 40 hours a week.
So that's what they said. So I do try to live by that of you know I have the housekeeper and you know luckily I can afford that and but I and I do you know outsource a fair amount of household things that don't require love.
love. >> That's the best thing I've heard in a long time. >> I will not take credit for it. I will give full credit to the couple that told it to me,
but that was definitely a motto that stuck with me. >> Yeah, and that's really, really sage advice. I talk a lot when I'm dealing with clients and talking about accountability,
and how do you set yourself up for high achievement, and how do you set yourself up for high achievement? lot of the nitty gritty just really comes down to stick to your zone of genius. Anything that's not your zone of genius,
hire it out. But that's even more beautiful. I love that so much more. Outsource everything that doesn't involve love. - Yeah, everything that doesn't require love.
- Beautiful, that's amazing, that's amazing. - You get a housekeeper. - Yeah, I definitely get a housekeeper. Jaime, I'm curious if you were just sharing anything that you think might be helpful,
'cause I know we had a lot of conversations around this, to someone who's in that stage where they're either getting close or they know it's coming to prepare for that succession or that next stage,
or stepping into a more... leadership role. What would you tell them if you had three pieces of advice? I really believe in coaching.
I think that having a coach is one of the best things to do. I think having that outside perspective, I think having that accountability, I do think that that some of the investing in yourself is some of the best things that you can do.
Um, so I have always had coaches in different formats. Sometimes they've been more therapy, like sometimes they've been more life coachy, sometimes more business coach, but I do believe that if you're not investing in yourself,
then, you know, I don't think that growth is going to happen. Um, so I do think that would be my biggest thing is, is finding the right partners to really help give you a sounding board.
and because sometimes you can't go vent on your employees, you know, or you can't, you know, you've got to come up with the ideas. And sometimes that's hard to do just, just yourself. And so having that coach that can really pull some of that stuff out of you,
I think has been the quickest way that I've found my own personal growth to happen. So I think that, that's great. I mean, for me, my meditation practice is like my,
so I don't know that it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, not for everybody, but, um, whether that's just finding your own place that you can ground, um, I think anytime you're in transition or you're, you know,
going through, you know, a transitional time of life yet, but, you know, that, um, is having whatever it is that brings you back to,
to your center and to your grounding, um, for me, that's meditation. I know when life gets too busy, um, I just spend extra time meditating. And I find that it,
it does work itself out. And so I think that's, that's huge for me. Um, yeah. And then let's see one more thing, but having, I mean,
honestly, having great people surrounding you, you know, like loving what you're doing. I do. I mean, I think you've seen it. I do really love what I do,
like it doesn't feel like work, you know? I want to talk to my clients. I'm excited when they're coming in for meetings and we get to catch up. And so it's just like having that passion really helps make it not feel like you're just,
I mean, I've worked in corporate America and I did that for a long time. And you do feel like you're just punching a clock and I don't. don't find that that's how I live anymore.
And that is great. But I also have wonderful people that back me up and make it so that I can do. I can go to my daughter's functions at school because we've got a whole team that's there and making sure that our clients' needs are met.
And so having that support staff around you that are just really good at their job. makes it easier for you to do your job too. So that's huge.
Beautiful. Thank you for that. So if you don't mind, can we park it in the meditation for just a second? Sure. It's my favorite topic. Yeah. I'm one of those people that just cannot meditate.
I have a cousin that she said she meditates like five hours a day. And I'm like, well, I meditate about five to seven hours a day. It's usually at night, and I'm usually in bed lying in my bed.
But I know that there are so many benefits to meditation. How did you start that practice? How did you master it?
Because I know that it's a continual practice, but I know that that's been a huge... - Why do you think you're a bad meditator? - I feel like I'm always... distracted. Like I,
I started thinking about a million things and I can't meditate. Okay. So here's what I'm going to tell you. I have just as many thoughts in meditation as you do. Okay.
Okay. You're going to meditate. If you think meditation is you sit down and it's this like, I mean, it's not un beautiful,
but like you just expect there not to be any thoughts. thoughts. Then I think you're never going to think you're a good meditator. But my meditation teacher quickly told me, I've been meditating,
you know, 20, 30, I don't know how many years, 40 years at the point that, you know, she was teaching me to meditate. And she's like, I still have thoughts in meditation. So the thoughts don't go away.
Your attachment to the thoughts, though, is the difference. - I'm gonna write that down. - Okay, so because here's where I think if you,
and that's where a mantra or breath, there's different techniques. I personally use mantra, especially in the beginning, if your thoughts are bothersome to you, then having the thoughts gonna come up,
you go back to your mantra or your breath, like there's just different techniques. that people use. And so what that does is that helps your brain to kind of disassociate from the thoughts.
Because what I learned as I was sitting there and thoughts would come and go, right? And some of them were crazy. But like, I did get a little bit better at not going down the rabbit hole.
Like, okay, like a thought comes up of I need to go to the grocery store and I need to get this and that and that. Well, instead of going ahead and creating my list in my meditation, you know, I would go back to my mantra.
So I do think like that is helpful. But if you think that the meditation is just supposed to be this like everything, it's silent and every like, I think you're, it's,
that can make it frustrating. But if you accept that the thoughts are going to be there, and instead of paying attention, you know, you just, okay, that's a thought. thought. Now I go back.
Okay, that's a thought. Now I come back. That's where I think you find, um, you lose attachment to those thoughts.
I love what you just said, because I think that's what it is, that then I, the frustration comes with, well, why am I thinking this? Well, how come everybody else can meditate? And then the more you want to resist it,
the more you're actually actually experiencing it and then that's it. I get up and that's it. It's over. That's there. Meditation time is over. Yeah. I think it took me though. I think it took probably when I started meditating,
which was probably about almost 10 years ago at this point. It probably took me about six months to really lose, I think my teacher called it lose the meditator,
like lose the idea that like and be okay with the thoughts. kind of coming and going and you're sitting there. But I want to say it took like about six months of every day.
I was doing like 30 minutes a day. I don't necessarily do that much anymore or some days I do, but yeah, I do. I do do twice a day. I find twice a day is helpful. I always do it first thing in the morning and then I'll try to do it either in between my,
like transition. from work to home or I actually find preheating the oven a great time to meditate. - Nice. - So that's one of my favorite. Like I start the oven,
you know, 'cause you got like maybe 20, 50, depending on how good your oven is, you might have 15 to 20 minutes for the ovens, like really at the degree you want it to be at.
Yeah, yeah. And so anyway, that's a lot of times when I'll start the oven. it and then I'll go meditate and come back and get dinner on or whatever. But, but I usually,
I find the second meditation is a really great way to not accumulate extra stuff and really a time for me to really process the day and just let that day kind of go.
And so I do like it, but I do always start my day with meditation. And you just retreat to, to like a quiet area. Yeah, I have a, well,
I mean, sometimes I just am in my bed. I mean, in the morning, I might just sit up just depending, especially when it's cold. But no, I have like a little meditation cushion backjack next to my bed in a little spot.
And I'll just go there. In the summer, in the winter, I like my heated blanket there and I cozy up in my heated blanket. And it's sometimes I just stay. Yes, I love that. I love the meditation.
My son got into meditating and he gifted me because he knew I would benefit from it. He gifted me one of those meditation mats. And when I was living in the RV that I was just back and forth in Knoxville last year and I mean in Fidget Forge,
I used to use it to prop up my computer at night to watch the office. - That is one way to use a meditation mat. (laughing) - Not the intended purpose,
but I really appreciate you sharing that because we think, and this is the patience that you had to hold out for six months until it sort of clicked that you were okay with,
I mean, the blessing of having a good meditation teacher, right? - Yeah, and again, it goes back to, I did have a good teacher. I also, when I started meditating,
meditating, was very much in a place where I felt like it was very much a message I received from God that I should be doing that. So I will say that was probably part of my passion.
And part of my sticking through it was that it really felt to me like a very much, and I have to do this like thing that the spirit was calling me to do.
So without that, I don't know if I would have stopped. through that long, honestly, but it did feel very much like a calling. And it hasn't been what I thought it would be necessarily,
but it's been wonderful. So it's led me to places that I don't know that I would have gone otherwise. But now I do silent retreats and everything, so I'm pretty crazy on it all now.
So I was going to ask you what's what been the the biggest change with that? Because I just know it's such an important part of your life. But yeah, you know, I think like I'm just so much more,
I was very reactive to those around me, and especially in working in a family business, I think I was just so like every took everything personally, you know, it was just and and I think like there was just always,
well, I also say like I would ruminate a lot. like, okay, you know, and I just kind of keep thoughts churning. And that was what really kind of, you know,
lessened, I would say when I started meditating was I was, I was less reactive to those around me. And I would say that I, the ruminations stop to some extent.
Yeah, so that I was able to kind of let things come and go. And I was, I wouldn't ruminate. on it as much. It was like, I either dealt with it or we let it go, you know? So we,
I, but yeah. So I think that was probably the biggest, the biggest changes. Um, but in there, yeah. So I think I have been able to let things come and go and just,
you know, I think, um, the big, one of the bigger revelations I have was like, I am not my thoughts. Like I think I just, whatever I thought I did, like, you know, know, it was, I never contemplated like,
should I do this? It was just like, I have this thought, I'll do this. And so I think that was a big part of the less reactivity. It was just, okay, wait, I don't have to believe every thought in my head because they actually change drastically,
like on a dime. Once you start paying attention. So that was my biggest thing is I'm not my thoughts and, and that doesn't, I don't have to be that reactive.
- Those are huge though. Just not ruminating anymore. It's something that we spend so much and waste so much energy on. So just that alone is already a huge piece that makes it worthwhile.
But thank you for sharing that. - Yeah, happy to love. I love my meditation. (laughing) - Yeah. So Jaime, I know that you have prepared something yeah or this podcast Do you want to share that?
Now that you've had an opportunity to learn about Jaime's leadership journey Let's listen in as she shares the legacy she wants to leave behind. When Catherine first told us we would be delivering a speech about our legacy,
my immediate reaction was I am too young for a legacy. I have a lot of moments left ahead to determine my legacy. But here I am with a few moments to spend talking to you today.
today. So I want to talk about my biggest life shift to date. It all started about nine years ago. I was standing in my bathroom looking into the mirror and for whatever reason on this day I pause to really look at myself.
In that moment I realized I didn't like the person I saw. She was tired and sad and there was a sense of just trying to survive. The eyes staring back at me were dim and dull.
And in that moment, I really didn't understand how I had become someone I didn't like. So I started to inquire. How did I get here? In inquiring,
I realized at some point growing up, whether it was from society or my parents, I had created my own equation. equation for happiness. You see, in school, I always liked math because math always had an exact answer.
One plus one always equals two. Follow the rules and the answer can be found. No unknowns there. So in my head, I developed an equation for happiness.
One, graduate college with a degree. Two, get a job and work my way. up the corporate ladder. Three, get married. Four,
buy a house. Five, have a child. All of that combined equals a happy life. But here I am, 32, and I had not one but three college degrees.
I had worked my way to being offered C -suite positions in corporate America. I was married, we had a nice house in Nashville, and a beautiful beautiful one -year -old little girl.
But here I am, looking at myself, the person I had created in search of happiness, and I don't like her. Nor is she happy. I knew in that moment my equation needed adjusting.
Now, a few months before this moment, I had left corporate America to start a new career as a financial advisor. And although that required a pay cut and starting all over from a career perspective,
I did feel more in alignment, helping people in that career. So the job was staying and well, after nine months of growing a human and a year of taking care for every need,
I was pretty attached to my daughter. So with no idea where to adjust my equation, I headed to a therapist. [BLANK _AUDIO] And after a few months, it became fairly clear that maybe the husband needed to go.
Now, I didn't take that piece out of the equation lightly. I decided to take 40 days and really pray, contemplate, and seek spiritual counseling. At the end of those 40 days,
I had a clear answer from God. I was told two things. Get a divorce and learn to meditate. meditate. That was it. My burning bush moment, get a divorce and learn to meditate.
Well okay, here goes nothing. And off I went, I called my attorney and the next day papers were filed. And knowing nothing about meditation, I googled meditation Nashville.
My Google search yielded Buddhist temple, Buddhist temple, Ivy house. As someone who grew up crazy. I was not ready to go to the Buddhist temple to learn, to meditate.
So I sent an email to the owner of Ivy house and two days later I was in an attic like space surrounded by the smell of incense sitting on a back jack on a floor,
learning about meditation. I will never forget my first meditation in that room. I closed my eyes, started saying my mantra and I was was swirling.
I sat there, thoughts coming and going, feeling like I was stuck in a tornado for 20 minutes. It was anything but blissful. At the end of my meditation,
the teacher said, "Yeah, that can happen. Just keep meditating." And she sent me on my way with the instruction to meditate 30 minutes twice a day.
No exceptions, just do it. it. So off I went. I made it 45 days before I missed a day, and I immediately felt a shift in my body and mind from missing a day of meditation.
I could see how much more reactive I was and the feeling of spinning returned. After that day, I vowed to never miss a day of meditation again. And now,
almost 10 years later, I have never missed a day of meditation. meditation again. It took a little over a year after I started meditating and my divorce was final for me to muster up the courage to look in that mirror again.
But when I did, the person I saw looked entirely different. Now don't get me wrong, she was still tired. After all, she was a single mom rebuilding her career. But there was a glimmer in her eyes and I was happy.
even if my life didn't look like the equation. The year of meditation and internal reflection had taught me my equation was off because I had been searching for happiness in achievements and ideals.
In sitting still and learning to be present in each moment, I was able to learn to trust my internal guidance, and I found a compass instead of a rigid equation to guide my way.
And as the motto of Ivy House says it best, happiness is an inside job. So that was my path. But I promise you don't have to meditate twice a day or get divorced.
What I really want to leave you with today is the importance of self inquiry in whatever form that takes for you. Because self inquiry helps us become aware of our thoughts,
our minds, and our thoughts. emotions, and behaviors allowing us to identify patterns and tendencies that are holding us back from what we are searching for. So I leave you today with this question.
What is your equation for happiness and is it working for you? This episode of She Speaks is brought to you by our amazing partners at Schaad Companies.
She Speaks is produced, edited, and scored by the very talented Travis Tench at Oak Hill Audio. If you loved the episode you just heard and want to support Let Her Speaks mission of elevating real women's stories, don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share at LetHerSpeakUSA.
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