She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
She Speaks | A Let Her Speak Podcast
Claiming Your Voice as a Creative with Rainey Rawles & Jasmine Newton
In this episode, Rainey Rawles, a recent graduate of our Let Her Lead program and incredible woodworker, has a conversation with her mentor and equally talented photographer, Jasmine Newton. This episode is especially for those of you who are entrepreneurs or thinking about becoming an entrepreneur and what it really is like mentally and emotionally to be in that space.
Both Rainey and Jasmine are full-time entrepreneurs themselves. They do some amazing work in the space of creativity, photography, and woodworking. They have both felt like imposters since the beginning of their entrepreneurial journeys.
They discuss feeling ill-equipped and underskilled when it comes to being an entrepreneur and working in the spaces that they do. Part of that issue is that they feel that they don't have a voice or the "right" to assert themselves as experts because there's no institution necessarily vouching for them. It's them vouching for themselves.
Tune into this amazing conversation between Rainey and Jasmine.
About Season 2 of the She Speaks Podcast:
Throughout Season 2 we will be featuring the graduates and mentors/coaches in our first cohort of the Let Her Lead program. Each woman you will hear from throughout this season embarked on a 12-week journey in late 2023 to gain new skills and insights to become the leader SHE wants to be.
__________
Connect with Rainey:
Follow Rainey on Instagram
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Learn More About Rainey
Connect with Jasmine:
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Connect with Jasmine on LinkedIn
Learn More About Jasmine
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Thank You to:
Our sponsor partners: Schaad Companies & Knoxville Entrepreneur Center
Our producer & theme music composer: Travis Tench of Oak Hill Audio
Our brand designer: Maranda Vandergriff of Vagabondary
Our photographers: Javon Renee Portraits, Smoke Signal Photography, Ashley Gurley Photography, and Kara Hudgens Photography
Have any questions, comments, or want to connect more with the Let Her Speak community? Contact us at hello@letherspeakusa.org
You're listening to She Speaks, a Let Her Speak podcast that celebrates women's fearlessness, resiliency, and readiness to change the world. [music] Welcome back to the latest episode of the She Speaks series,
and for those that are just hearing it, you're listening to She Speaks, a Let Her Speak podcast that celebrates women's in to us for the first time, I am Catherine Porth. I'm the founder of Let Her Speak. And throughout the second season of our podcast, we are bringing in women who are graduates of our Let Her Lead program and asking them to sit down and have a very real and authentic conversation with their coach or
mentor that they were matched with throughout the program. In this episode, you're going to be hearing from Rainey Rawles, who's our recent graduate, talking with her mentor, Jasmine Newton. And this episode is especially for those of you who are entrepreneurs or thinking about becoming an entrepreneur and what it really is like mentally and emotionally to be in that space.
Both Rainey and Jasmine are full -time entrepreneurs themselves. They do some... some amazing things in the space of creativity, photography,
woodworking, and both of them have felt like imposters since essentially the beginning of their entrepreneurial journey. They talk a lot about feeling ill -equipped and underskilled when it comes to being an entrepreneur and working in the spaces that they do.
And part of that issue is that they feel that they have felt that they have felt that they have felt don't have a voice or the reason behind talking about the things that they talk about to the level of being an expert,
because there's no institution necessarily vouching for them. It's them vouching for themselves, which is a very common feeling of imposterism when you are venturing out onto your own.
So if that's something you struggle with, if imposter syndrome is a part of your vocabulary-- and something you think about on a regular basis, tune in and listen as Rainey and Jasmine discuss not only being an entrepreneur,
but also everything that comes with it. How did you feel about this entire experience?
That's a really big question. That's why I asked it. Listen. You just started. I'll get it. my interview skills in right now. -Okay. Okay, you're going to give it to me. Can you interview me like Joan Rivers?
-No. I can interview you like Jasmine. -Yeah, okay. I'll take it. It'll be a lot more chill. How is the whole, like,
the whole program? Man, I don't know. That's, like, a really -- it's like a multifaceted question, right? 'Cause there's like so many components,
right? Like there's the mentorship aspects and that's like the relationship that you and I had. And then there were like the courses,
kind of like meeting up weekly with the cohort and like learning like all these different things about leadership and like. like, uh,
communication and like, finances, um, and then like, there's this like, kind of other aspect of like, developing, um, I guess like,
really, um, the whole idea of like, what our legacy is, or like the impact that we want to have on the community in general. And I think that,
uh, like a really big question too. And I wasn't really expecting that. Like it wasn't something that I went into the program thinking like,
oh, like, what's my legacy? What is my purpose? And how do I want to leave the world? Yeah,
that's a really big question, right? It's not like, it's not just like, oh, what are you and what are you about? It's like, oh, how are you going to like make an impact on the people around you?
And that's a lot of pressure. - It's a huge question. - It is. - Especially considering that like the you now may have a certain idea. - Right. - And the you 10 years from now may have a totally different one.
- Yeah. - And like how you have to-- kind of invent like a living legacy, something that can just progress over time. - Yeah, and I think that was the thing that,
I feel like challenged me the most with this program too, is to really like dig into that concept of like, of that like a living legacy, not just like, oh, what am I doing now and how is that important?
It's like, okay, what is, yeah, like kind of like my purpose. in life and like, how is that driving me, um, into the work that I'm doing now and like where I'm going,
because you're right, like what I'm doing now could totally be different. And I think that that's kind of relevant to like, you know, our backgrounds too, we're like, you know, with, uh, being entrepreneurs and,
and like having other jobs or, you know, doing the like, uh, quote, real job thing, right? Like, um,
I feel like maybe a lot of people, um, uh, step into like entrepreneurship, not really like, I don't know,
I think some people are totally like, yeah, like, I just want to be an entrepreneur and I'm going to like crush it and like go get her. And then I think a lot of people fall into it. it like it sounds like you did sounds like I did I definitely fell into it it was an accident I mean it wasn't an accident it just wasn't something that I thought was going to be on my trajectory yeah 10 years before I did it
totally yeah right like we're talking about what we want to do I mean when I was 18 and everybody asked what you want to be what do you want to do I wanted to be Beyonce where Beyonce is doing is what I wanted to do and I'm not Beyonce I am a portrait photographer,
but that was nowhere on my Radar. Yeah, I think I had a list. It was weird as I had a list It was like because because my family was like what should play and be What should play and see?
If you're gonna be Beyonce, if you're not Solange, you're gonna be everybody can't be Beyonce So what's your plan be? - And so it was like, okay, I want to be a singer and an actress. That was first.
And then it was like, okay, if I'm not a singer and an actress, then I guess I could look into being like a lawyer. If I'm not a lawyer, 'cause I like to talk and debate with people.
- Okay, I see, I didn't know this. - And so, and then if I'm not a lawyer, then maybe I can be like a teacher. - Okay. - But then I don't even like kids like that. So then my plan,
well, we're on four, so that's plan D is, I was like basketball, however, I'm five, three, so okay, now we're on. (both laughing) Photography was like all the way at the end.
- Holy shit. (both laughing) - I love that for you though. I like how you went from Beyonce. Beyonce to like lawyer to basketball player, girl I had goals, I had goals on goals on goals.
Man, but it was like, I mean, the singing I probably could have did, I could have done that. Really? I just didn't, once I became a mom is what changed it for me.
Like you're chasing studios and producers and it's kind of a faster life than I am. wanted once I became a mom. So it was like,
okay, I need to figure something else out. I just didn't know what that thing was and that kind of fell into my lap. - The photography? - Yes. - See, like that's so interesting.
Well, one, the like performing and like music, I don't think I knew that about you. - Yes. - Like what? - Yeah, I don't really, I don't really,
share it as much as I used to back in a day. I was singing at the summit. I didn't go to the summit. Don't talk about it. I definitely sung there but you know people like,
"Hey, why don't you sing? I heard you was singing. Let me hear you sing." I'm like, "No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm not gonna." Well maybe you'll, yeah,
maybe you'll like get your comeback. No. Like you'll have your, like, no. I just think in the shower nowadays. I love that. As somebody that's not-- I don't have that performer,
I don't know, inner spirits. I'm very-- I don't like performing or being watched by people,
which is why you like to get cooped up. Yeah. in your woodworking shop and be to yourself. Yeah. I don't have to have people look at me. They do things that fit us.
That's all this is. Yeah. That is true. You gravitate towards the things, maybe not even the hobbies or passions, but just the things that you naturally kind of like.
I think that's what makes entrepreneurship so it makes it... it something that people actually want to do, because the other options,
which is what in high school, it was like, you got three options. You got college, you got the military, and then you, or you can go straight into the workforce. And all of those feel like a box.
Like, do I want to go into the college box? Do I want to go into entrepreneurship? Which entrepreneurship feels a little bit more flexible, a little bit more open. And it feels more like, okay, I can do whatever makes me happy versus,
oh, I have to go and try to find a minor or a major that hopefully fits what I want. Or I gotta see if I can find a job or a skill that,
and I'm not knocking people who choose to do those things. things. I'm just saying, to me, entrepreneurship just feels-- being that I've done the nine to five thing,
I've also tried the military thing. I didn't do the college thing, but two of those boxes just didn't fit. It was like, nah, this ain't going to work.
This is not going to work. And entrepreneurship felt like I had a plethora of things that I could do. And-- And the funny thing is what I do now is most likely the thing that back then when I was in high school,
if I would have said, "Yes, I'm going to be a portrait photographer." So I wanna be like, "Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool." So what's gonna be your real job? - Right. (both laughing) - Yeah,
I mean, I went to art school, like I got a degree in painting. - What's gonna be your real job? - Yeah, the one that's gonna make you mad. What is that? That would have been a response to that, but this is the job that.
- Yeah. I think that's the funniest thing. It's like, yeah, like I didn't go, I didn't, I did go to college and I did get a degree in painting,
but it's not like, I didn't have a plan. I went to college because like my parents were like, you have to go to college. - 'Cause everybody told us to. - Everybody told us that you have to go to college. You have to get a job. And they're like,
what are you gonna major in? And I was like, art? - 'Cause I wasn't good at anything else. - So what look did they give you when you said that? - They were just kind of like, as long as you get a degree, I think it's-- - That was the only thing.
We all care what you get it in. - Yeah, you just have to have a degree. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, honestly, I'm kind of shocked. 'Cause like, I feel like on paper,
it's like, you're like typical, stereotypical. like I got the useless degree right I got a degree in painting like I like to joke about all the time like I got a degree in mixing color you know like like but when I was there I don't know I think I was like oh I want to be like a comic book artist or illustrator or whatever yeah I was like that was like what I wanted to do you you know what hmm I love that
because you actually look like a person that could be in a comic book. - Really? - And I don't mean in like a goofy way either. You look like you could be like one of the superheroes. - Oh, that's cool. - Jubilee from-- - Oh,
should Jubilee's Rad? - Yes. - Yeah, from X -Men. - You give me Jubilee energy. - I think that's the nicest thing in any picture you ever said to me. (laughing) - She was one of my favorites. - Jubilee was super cool.
She had that like red jacket. - Yes. - Like, yeah. - Yeah. - Yes, she was one of my favorites. - Yeah. - Storm was my favorite out of the whole X -Men. - Storm was also my favorite. - I'm a Storm Batman and Superman fan.
- Okay, I wasn't ever a fan of Superman, but I did like Storm, I also did like Batman. Yeah, yeah, I like, I think like I'm growing up as a teenager,
it was like the weirdo, like comic book. kind of like. - I collected comic books. - Did you? - Yes, I did. - Uh -oh, tell me more. Wait, this is the podcast about like, we're gonna sidebar here,
and we're just gonna talk about comic books. - But yes, I collected Archies. - Oh, what? - I collected, of course, Superman, X -Men. I collected a lot of stuff.
I got a lot of weird stuff. - Did you like go get the weekly issues that came out, or like? Okay, so here's the thing. Okay. I hate buying things and reading a story and I can't wait to get to the next one.
So I like to buy a bulk. Okay. Okay. So give me like a whole stack that's gonna like last me like a month. Okay. Yeah, I love that. I'm learning so many things about you.
We spent so much of our time talking like like entrepreneurship and like mentorship and like how to exist. in life. Like now we're like, oh, why you wanted to be Beyonce and you collect a comic book,
right? But we should be talking about the entrepreneurship because that was good, that was good conversation too. - Well, I mean, I think this is all totally relevant in my humble opinion.
How did you feel coming away? from our conversations though? Like, did you ever feel like kind of bummed out? Like, man, that was, I'm having a hard time, or did you feel like,
man, this actually helped? - No, okay, so like maybe this is something that we should like address too, because our conversations were like super real, right? Like we weren't like, oh, how's, you know-- - How's the club going?
- Yeah, like-- - Did you do your homework? - Yeah, talk about this one. week, what'd you get? Like we talked about like how we're gonna pay our bills. Yeah. Like how we're gonna like channel like all of the energy that we can like harness to like manage to like find success for ourselves.
And, you know, I think on paper, if anybody had like listened into those conversations, they would have been like, oh man, that's some like, that's some depressing shit. I mean,
but it's all a part of it. I feel like when people ask about entrepreneurship, I mean, yeah, you want to hear the pretty of it. You want to hear the, "Oh, yeah, it's great," and you run your own schedule and you create your own thing.
You want to sell all the great things, right? But then what I would say, "What's the gully part? Like, what's the nitty gritty part that I actually actually got to think about?
Yeah. What's going to be the hard stuff that's going to make it hard for me to feel like keeping this business going and how do I get through that? Yeah, because it's not easy and I don't think a lot of people are comfortable with being vulnerable enough to like talk about that because it is like an uncomfortable thing to admit that like,
oh, I'm having trouble paying. my bills this week, or I have to like find ways to like chase down clients or other revenue streams or figure out how to pivot and make this work.
And I think like in a nutshell, that's more entrepreneurship than anything else is like trying to be like being savvy enough or being like just like,
like having some ingenuity about. how you're gonna continue to survive. And I don't know enough about being an entrepreneur,
like how people do it, like, are they getting loans or are they like asking for loans from family and friends or are they finding some way to have an investor or did they cash out their 401 (k) or do they just have,
like, money they get from their parents? parents or whatever, like I don't know, like I'm not in a position where I can like really have any of those things, right? But the cool thing is you were willing to ask me those questions through our mentor calls where,
cause I mean, I was expecting you to ask me like the cutesy stuff. Oh really? I was expecting like, okay, so how, how did you get started and you were like, okay, so listen. This is what I'm talking about.
dealing with." Like this is what we talked about communication in class, but listen, this is what I'm dealing with right now 'til today. And I was like, "Oh, she really wanna go there. Okay, let's go." I was like,
I can read some blogs or stuff online to be like, "Okay, how do you set up your Shopify website or how do you put your MailChimp together "and how do you..." scout how do you network and what are the lead leading questions you ask I don't care about any of that stuff so the questions that you would ask me on those phone calls they were very very deep and vulnerable questions yeah but I was happy to answer them
because it was just like for me I'm a person I hate surface -level things yeah I'd like to get into the deep things and I don't mind being an open book for it. And were you surprised at how honest I was?
A little bit, but not like, I don't know, I just like had this feeling that like we were both kind of writing the same wavelength on that. So I was like, okay, I feel I felt comfortable enough asking you those questions,
because I don't know, I guess I can like read some people and I'm like, I don't, that's that's probably not going to be the, like, I don't know if I need to go there. I might like start opening a box that like won't be able to be closed.
But maybe a little bit surprised, but I was just so appreciative that you were willing to be that vulnerable and like answer those questions in a very honest way.
I think also to you, like, that's what made me feel like you were such a good fit as my mentors because we could have those conversations and kind of be like just unfiltered about it.
You know, like you could tell me, you could be real with me and not worry about like, I don't know, be having, you know-- - Oh my God, Jasmine said this, can you believe? And I'm like,
no. - I'm about to get real real with you. - Yeah, and I could say how I needed to say it and I didn't have to worry. about you being offended. I'm always, as I'm going through day to day life,
I always feel like I'm doing some sort of filtering of myself because I'm a person that cusses. I'm a person that likes to talk about the hard stuff and everybody doesn't like to talk about the hard stuff.
Everybody isn't ready for those vulnerable conversations. So I feel like I walk day to day almost with a little bit of a lid on my face. And so the fact that you were like, "No, I wanna hear everything." I was like,
"Oh my God, this is gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome." - It was great. It like gave me flashbacks to like my therapy sessions. So I'm like, "Oh shit." (both laughing) It just be like unfiltered.
Yeah, like I really appreciated that. And it was interesting too, because I would like kind of like, I would absolutely look forward to, but also simultaneously dread a little bit our conversations.
- Oh no. - Not because I was like, oh no, like I don't want to talk to Jasmine or like I don't want to get that real. But it like, it was kind of the one time during the week where I was able to like kind of be unfiltered in that way and have to be more like introspective,
right? I think part of the thing that I've noticed about being an entrepreneur too, it's like really sort of popped the lid off of like all of my chaos and like how I either avoid or cope through avoiding like things in my life by just constantly doing and like it's easy as an entrepreneur to be like.
Oh, I just have so many things that I'm doing right. I got to send these emails and I got to talk to these people and I have to do these tasks. And, um, it allows me to not have to spend as much time being introspective about where I'm at.
I can kind of just like turn everything into tasks and to do lists, but like our conversations were like kind of the designated time to be like, okay,
thank you. you like time to really like tune into what's going on And then I'm realizing like okay Sometimes I had to kind of give you a kick in the butt. Yeah.
Oh, I remember that and I appreciate it cuz nobody else would You know, I think that was awesome. It makes you what are you doing? Yeah Wow, we have this conversation And that's what I needed to you know Like I think that's what made you a great mentor mentor,
at least for me specifically, you know? It's like, I don't need somebody to like sugarcoat stuff or like hold my hand. I need somebody to like tell me how it is.
And like, you know, I can, I think the constant mantra that I felt like I was saying is like, I'm so far at my own ass all the time. Like,
and I just need to do the thing. So I think I really appreciate it. that in knowing that, you know, like your background and sort of like, I knew that you were empathetic to what I was experiencing too,
right? It wasn't like somebody just like patronizing me to do the thing, 'cause I don't like being told what to do, like. - I don't either. - Yeah. - I think that's what, I think that Catherine did an awesome job in pairing us,
because. we both seem to have fairly the same personality because I don't like when people tell me what to do either. Oh, it gets out of my skin. Let me decide that.
Don't tell me what to do. Yeah. Exactly. And don't tell me what I can't do. Great. Because then I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Yeah. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to do it. Just because you said it,
I can't. Okay. So it's the last thing I do. and when it comes to when I was getting mentored, I needed the kick. Because I'm a person,
I will sit there and study, and study, and take in all the information, and all the data, and I will learn everything I can possibly learn,
and it's like, okay, so what are you gonna do? - We. - Oh, I, I'm working. on it, but I still need to get more information. - Not ready yet. - I wouldn't actually like go.
I have that, what they call it, analysis paralysis. I have that real bad. So I have to have my own foot up my butt. - Yeah. I mean,
that's good though that you can, that you like are aware of that though. I think that's a really hard thing to overcome. - I think being an entrepreneur makes you a better person. of a whole lot of things. - Yeah, that's true.
- So what do you feel like it's made you mostly aware of? - Oh man, I think I was talking about this kind of recently. I think the thing that entrepreneurship has really highlighted for me is like how,
I guess like how vulnerable I am. am to self -doubt and self -criticism. My background a little bit was I got that painting degree and I got into woodworking and I ended up working at Savannah College of Art and Design as a wood shop technician.
And then I got a job at the High Museum of Art. building casework, right? And when I was at the high, like I was the only carpenter there. It's not like I got hired when I was 25.
I was young and, you know, my boss like didn't know anything about carpentry. They hired me and they're like, okay, you're gonna build like the casework for the museum. I hope you know what you're doing,
'cause we don't, you know? And like, I did, like I figured it out. I hadn't like really built pedestals. pedestals before that, but I did it. And working there gave me the confidence of basically having an institution like that backing me,
that I felt confident in my work and what I was doing and when people asked me for my opinion or suggestions or whatever, like I felt really just like just very like like firm in my capabilities.
And for some reason, like, you know, despite having like 10 years of woodworking experience and like institutional woodworking experience too, like I had people hire me to do the thing.
It's not like I was self -employed or like was freelancing or figured it out. Like I had, I was hired like on paper to do this. this. Being self -employed,
being an entrepreneur has suddenly made me doubt everything. Why? I don't know. I think the more I think about it,
it's like before I had this bona fide institution, right? I had the backing or the the credentials,
right? I guess I'll have those credentials, but it's like, oh, well, I'm working for these people and therefore that's why what I'm doing is good enough. - Legit. - Yeah, right.
And now I'm like, oh, it's just me. And yeah, I worked at these places, but I'll still take out a project and be like, "I don't know what I'm doing." But then you have to realize like in those times of self -doubt like what about your own What about your own damn credentials,
right? What about the credentials that you just have yeah because of the skills that you just have like you went into that place It sounds like and they were like, yeah, we don't know so you figure it out and you figured it out You're virtually doing the same thing thing.
It's just not somebody backing you. And why does that institution have to be more legit or important than your own damn self? Great. Well, I'm like asking myself that daily, you know,
because it is, it's totally like a mind thing. It's a mindset. And, you know, I'm, I don't feel like unique or special in that feeling, right? I think something about entrepreneurship is just so so vulnerable because there are a lot less layers or barriers between you and your perceived success.
There's a lot of, I feel like a lot of my worth is tied into whether or not what I'm doing is going to be successful,
whether I can pay my bills, whether or not I can bring in enough revenue. like whether I'm creating a good enough product, whether my clients are happy with my work,
there's like all of those things suddenly feel a lot more personal, and ultimately, yeah, it is all the same,
right? The work that I'm doing now was on paper. I didn't know. like, you know, I'm not like doing anything different as far as like woodworking,
right? Like these skills and abilities. If not, like more, right? Like you've learned to be innovative or creative. I mean, it's like when we first got paired together,
I was not against being paired with you, but my first thought was photographer, woodworker. - What are they with? - I know nothing about what,
how can I? But you know, like, did you sense any of that when we first started talking? Where it's like, I have no idea what I can tell you.
But we just worked it out, we just figured it out. - Yeah. - And that's what a lot of entrepreneurs are walking around here doing. Even the ones that are all over the place. acting like they know everything.
They are still figuring it out too. Because people look at me and feel like, "Oh, you know all of it." And from our talks, you know, "Oh, she's still figuring her stuff out in certain areas.
Everybody's got different levels of figuring things out." But that's all it is. And when you realize that, then, in my opinion, all question of whether you're good at it.
enough, whether you're smart enough, whether you can figure something out or not. Like you're just doing the same thing that everybody else is doing it. Why can't you do it? Like why do you feel like this person can figure it out and you can't?
Of course you can. - Right. Yeah. Well, and I think too, something else that I've like really been kind of like wrestling with or thinking about is like constantly constantly Comparing myself to like the the future me right though like where I want to be right instead of like really practicing gratitude and Acknowledging where I am and how far I've come right,
you know like cuz like 18 year old comic book illustrator Rainey Like you know like wouldn't have ever predicted that I would be trying to run my own business Thank you honestly.
Same. Yeah. It's like... I never thought I would be running my own business. Same. Yeah. But flip it. Mm -hmm. And that's something that I always told you. Yeah. Flip it. Right. So you're thinking about comparing,
like, like, filling up to your future self. Why not flip it and think, "But your future... your future self can't exist without you." Right. Right. So it's really you and building all these good things.
that you're building that's getting to that future. And it's still you at the end of the day. - What are we doing? - Like we're just getting too deep. It's still you at the end. But I mean, like I'm literally,
I think about my future stuff all the time. - Yeah. - I, she's a diva. She's in my head, she is snapping on me like, girl, what is you doing?
Like she does that. But she doesn't. doesn't exist without the me that is here now. And the me that is here now doesn't exist without the me that started the business almost 10 years ago.
So we have to think about those things. I don't know why we our mind plays this game against ourselves, where we have to pit ourselves against something and automatically put ourselves in an unwitting battle,
seemingly. But literally train your brain and be like, "Nah, I'm gonna shit," and that's just what it is. Yeah. I think that's the thing that I loved most about our mentoring sessions,
too, is that there is a lot of, like, you of like just stomping on the like self -doubts like-- - You got to.
- Yeah, and-- - Show of who's boss. - Yeah. - Period. - And I think that's the most frustrating thing, at least to when you're more self -aware of that doubt.
It's, for me, it's very frustrating because it's like, I know that it's self -doubt. I know it's like-- keeping me from doing the things that I want to do and like,
uh, pursuing success and it's, it's so frustrating because it's like your, your biggest, like adversary. Right? Like, I treated it like a partner,
so I learned from a mentor, Sue Bryce, okay, she, she said, Yeah. "You have self -doubt, you have all of these things that go on in your head,
they're like the passengers in your car, but you're the one driving your car." And for me, you know, I've gotten quite comfortable with them being in my car. And first of all, my car is all that,
like it is everything. The fact that they're even in my car, privilege, okay? So, I love it. I love this. - So, yes, self -doubt may be right in that seat next to me and fear is like right in that back seat,
I see it in my rear view looking at me, just staring at me, but I'm driving this car. And y 'all better act right while we on this trip. - That's right. - Don't make me have to pull this thing over.
Like you gotta get, you gotta get gangster - Yes. - With yourself. down and your fear and all of that. And you just gotta be like, you're there.
And honestly, you gotta realize what they're there for as well, fear is there. They always say fear is there to protect you. It's a source of protection. It's what your body does. But you gotta decide,
okay, you can check in and fear. Fear might look at you like, you see that coming up on that road right there. You see that, I see it, do you see it? And you like, okay, I see. you looking, what you looking at? Oh,
aw, that ain't nothing but a little pothole. I can drive around that pile, it's good, it's good. Oh, that's a ditch, yeah, we gonna be careful around this. Like fear is a helper, but you also gotta let fear know who's boss,
because sometimes fear is just a little too overreactive sometimes. And it's scared of everything. If a car veers too close to your car, it's like, what? And it's like,
yo. chill, I got this. I saw the wheels turning, we're fine. Stop backseat driving." - Don't make me pull over.
- Don't make me pull this car over. - Be lucky that you're in this car. - You gotta think of, you gotta treat it like that. That's literally how I think it.
It may be different for other people to think about. They may have to think about it in different ways, but... but that is truly how I deal with it. Because I've already come to the acknowledgement that I'm not gonna stop feeling self -doubt and fear.
So I might as well just get good and comfortable. That's, yeah. You might, you gonna be up here anyway. Yeah. Like, let's be besties. So let's get... I'm the boss.
Yes. I'm the head honcho. just letting you know who's in charge. - In charge of the radio. - Y 'all gonna get in line. You not gonna tell me what to do 'cause I don't like being so what to do.
- That's right, I love to tell me what to do. So, you know, that's how you gotta think about it. - I love that analogy though too, like the car, because like what you're saying about like, you know,
seeing the ditch, seeing the pothole, seeing the sort of in the other car, like all of those things like, are essentially things that you've learned right from experience. So that's like kind of speaks metaphorically to like trusting yourself and your experiences to know like when it's time to start like work like legitimately worrying about something versus just like succumbing to the anxiety of the unknown or potential
failure. And then sometimes you get a flat tire. - Yeah. - Sometimes the car breaks down and you need to tune up. - Yeah. - Sometimes stuff happens and you know what?
You're gonna be okay through that too. - Yeah. - 'Cause think about it in life. How many times have you been in a situation where the car wasn't doing what it's supposed to do, it broke down? - Yeah. - You're still alive. You didn't die. - I said that's what I'm saying.
- You didn't die. - I said that's what I'm saying. one of our phone calls. I was like, did you die? - Yeah. - You're good, right? - Okay. - So, I mean, the worst case scenario is you die.
- Yeah. - And then you're dead, so like, and then you're not even worrying about it anymore. - Like, so what's the word? - Well, you simplify it. - Right. - And you're like, especially when you're on the other side, like think of all the worst possible things that you know that you've been through.
in your life. And look at you sitting here on the other side of it, looking all jubilee as ever, right? - Yeah, come on. - I think, yeah, that's really like a perspective check to like,
I love, that probably like speaks to like our conversations too and how other people might think that they were super dark or depressing where we're like, I mean, well, we're not dead. So I guess we have,
yeah, I guess we're friends. You always thrive. You gotta take it. You gotta take that win. It's a win. It's a win. It's a win. It's a win. It's a win. Like, I woke up today.
Exactly. And sometimes that's all you. I've had days where I have been like, just laying in bed and I just don't have it in me. Even at the success that people see me at.
Like. Like, I just don't have it. - Yeah. - And all I can drum up is one thing to do. And that one thing might be, I took out the trash.
- Yeah, made my bed. - I made my bed. But you know what? I did something. And you know what? On the days that I don't do something, give myself some grace,
give myself some time. Like it's okay if I don't, but that obviously means that that I must have been working hard or I must have done something that's just really exhausting. And my body is like,
yo, just, I need a minute. - Yeah. - And be okay with that. Be okay with the days that you gotta stop. Be okay with the days that you can only do one thing and build it up to one,
two, three, four, five things. Just be okay with the journey. It is part of the journey. (upbeat music) All of it, the good and the bad, the good and the bad all were together for your good in the end.
- Yeah, yeah. I think one of the most like, I think during like revelations, I like kind of like made over the last year.
And oddly enough, this was like through a like self, (laughing) like therapy session with chat GPT. But I have a lot of hangups with my perception of success and failure.
And one of the things that I realized was that, you know, they're basically the same thing. Like success and failure are both like part of that journey.
They're both like, like-- - It's part of your success. We had that talk too. - Yeah, reaching new, like, you know, it's allowing you to get closer to your goals, right? And sometimes failure actually like brings you there faster than success.
- 'Cause all you do when you fail, you just found out how not to do something. - Right. And you're finding out the way. to get to where you, you're either finding out a better way to do what you're trying to do,
or you're finding out that that thing isn't for you. - Right. - And it's a step towards finding out what is for you. So it's failure really. - Right. - That awful. - Right. - Like lean into it.
- Yeah, and I think that that's something that's really hard to wrestle with as an entrepreneur. entrepreneur, too, because I feel like, you know,
it feels like the stakes are higher, you know, and actually they kind of are, right? Like... It's on you to go hunt. It's on you to come up with the money.
It's on you to find the clients. It's on you to figure out, you know, what your customer experience is going to look like. Mm -hmm. You can't just, you can't clock in.
And as long as you clock in and clocked out, you got your money. You gotta invent that money, invent that job. The stakes are kinda higher,
but it's on your own terms. And you, in my opinion, get to see so much more of yourself. - Yeah.
- Wow. - You get to learn so much more. more of yourself. And at the end of the day, even if you choose that entrepreneurship is not for you, you try. - Right.
- A win is a win. - Yeah. - It is, like take it what you can get. You try, you know? - I also think too, like beyond just like financial success or survival,
right? I feel like being an entrepreneur has allowed me to have a much larger impact on the world around me.
Like, you know, like talking, like bringing it back into like legacy statement kind of stuff, right? Like, you know, there's only so much I can do working a nine to five,
you know? Like, I am limited to... the work. - Whatever they limit you to. - Exactly. - Yeah. - And, you know, being an entrepreneur means that I can choose how I spend my time,
which to me is more valuable than the money, you know? Maybe it shouldn't be. 'Cause like my time ain't paying my bills,
but. - It's whatever you need it to be. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And like I said, just leaning into it. I mean, honestly, think about it. I said earlier,
I always wanted to be a singer and actress. Do you see anybody are rocking around here beating up on me because I'm not a singer and actress? - Right, yeah. - Oh, you failed. You didn't become that singer and actress you was always talking about in school.
- You're not Beyonce. - You're not Beyonce. - You're not Beyonce. - I mean, if I fail, who gonna take me boo? Ain't nobody gon' do anything that I failed at something. I just try something else. - Yeah.
- I think what I always try to get you to understand is when you would think of something and you would think of something as the doom and gloom,
and I'll be like, it is not that serious. It is not that bad. Like it is, but it isn't. - Mm -hmm, and you gotta learn how to, to flip that mindset.
And then when you get done flipping that mindset, get your behind up and go do. - Yeah, do something about it. - Right. - Quick write about it, do something about it. - And then what did I also say? And at the end of the day,
if you feel like you wanna get a nine to five, get a nine to five. - Who gon' check you? - Right. Yeah, nobody gonna get a five. (laughing) - Calling me up and being like, hey, heard you fail at your business.
Like, hey, look at you, you had to go get a job. - It's at the end of the day, it is us and our own brains that are beating our behinds so much when it comes to,
oh, I don't want to fail, oh, myself doubt. Oh, what if people don't like me? Like, it's like we're doing it ourselves. Like, stop. beating yourself.
- I think that's, yeah, like why I was constantly being like Jasmine, like I cannot get my head out of my ass because like I know, like I know it's not, you know,
that it's me. It's like I'm keeping myself from pursuing the things that I want to do. I'm like keeping myself from kind of being courageous and just doing it.
it, just doing it, right? 'Cause like, you know, nobody's gonna do it for me. And that's part of it too, of like being an entrepreneur,
not like being told what to do, right? Is that like, I also like don't want people to do it for me. - Yeah. - You know, like-- - You pick the situation where you have to get up and do.
- Right, so like what am I crying about? - You're right. I said that too. We are touching on so much stuff that we talked about. - Yeah. - 'Cause I was like, at the end of the day, you chose this, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like,
I know. I don't know why I'm, like, whining about it. I think I just need to whine about it for a minute. - I'm like, okay, whine. - Yeah, just like, get it out. Go to whine.
- Yeah, sorry, gotta leave. - When you get to whining, you gotta deal with it again. I'm just letting you know. - Yeah, right, like, this isn't solving it. problem. I think that's another thing too though, about like maybe that's the certain mindset that you have to have.
Like doing this kind of work is like, I mean, yeah, you can want about it, whatever, but like, what are you gonna do about it? - Right. - Like you have to be like innovative and you have to like be able to constantly pick yourself up or kick yourself to move forward even more.
when it feels like it's too hard or impossible. - Also, if possibly having a village does help, first person in your village is you and you have to fortify that every day,
right? But when you have other people in your village besides you, that is a huge help. I have down times, like it is not easy in the least.
And when I have those people in my village, hard times, I have my village that I go to, my husband I go to, my best friend, Koi, I go to. I have a couple of mentors that I call and that give me that kick in the butt that I need.
And then, I might take a little time to, you know, like poke my lip out a little bit. I take a day, 'cause I'm allowed to. - Yeah. And then after I've done that,
then it's like, okay, it's time to do, it's time to dig myself out and do. And sometimes, no, you don't just wake up and you're like, there's time to do. I am ready, I have consulted my village and myself.
- Like, it's not like that. Sometimes doing is just one thing. - Yeah. - That's all I can do. do. All I can do is create my contact form.
- Yeah, yeah. - I can't even put it on my website today. I can just create it. Just do that. - Yeah, one step forward. - All I can do is think about what my next campaign is gonna be on social media.
I can't even create the campaign. I can't even come up with the graphics and the copy on chat GPC. - Yeah. - I can just think about it. Yeah, I brainstormed it and Wrote it down so I don't forget it Yeah,
and that and the the copy and the graphics and all that has got to happen on another day Like sometimes you can only do one thing and just do it Mm -hmm, and after a while you look up and those one things have built up.
Yeah into a mountain of things Yeah, I think I think that's like the thing to constantly constantly like remind yourself of is that like any momentum is momentum and that no matter what like you're moving forward like there there are days where like I go into the wood shop and like for whatever reason like the cosmic energy just like I'm not riding that right like I am not riding that wave and every single thing I
do every tool I pick up, every like thing that I try to like build, just like does not work out. Like it's like, feels like one step forward, five steps back,
you know? And it's really easy to get in a mindset of like, I don't know what I'm doing. This isn't working out. It's like, I don't know how to fix this.
I can try this other thing. That other thing doesn't work. Try something else. That doesn't work. You know, it's like every single... single thing doesn't work. And I've learned to just like, it's,
that's not what I need to be doing right now. Right. It's just like, this isn't working. I'm not going to keep like beating a dead horse. Like do something else. Any, like I'm moving forward regardless and getting caught up in the,
like, this isn't working. This is, I'm failing, like, you know, it's not worth it. It's just like. any, you got to take the win, right? Even if the win isn't what you want to be doing or feel like you need to be doing right in this moment.
- Maybe I need to be doing something else. - Yeah. - Maybe my body is like, listen, I told you I didn't want to do woodworking today and here we are in woodworking. So we just going to make this difficult for you. - Right. - I wanted to go and listen to some music and look at some comic books,
but you out here trying to cut on some dang on wood. wood. Yeah, you're not doing any math today. We got it, we got an issue. And it, you know, it feels like that.
And I think too, honestly, the woodworking thing has made me, it's made that more real or like brought that to my attention because like, it's so much more in your face,
right? Like I can't afford to lose a finger. Okay, great. - That's kinda important. - So it's like, why am I gonna keep trying it? Like don't keep doing that. It's not working,
like stop. And I think there are other parts of my life where the same thing happens, it's just less noticeable because like I'm not doing something that has a very like real consequential result.
Whether that's like building a thing or hurting myself too. - And then with that comes the... bigger overall question. When you get to a point where you have a lot of that,
when do you say maybe this whole thing isn't what I wanna do, but I wanna do something else that's related or a skill that I do is a part of something that I actually wanna do?
And that's also a hard question because it feels like you're pulling away from something. - Mm -hmm. that's a question that needs to be asked and being honest with yourself. Do I really wanna do it? What do you want your legacy to say?
- I know. (both laughing) I mean, it's very deep, right? Yeah, and I think for me, it's really challenging.
The kind of work that I'm doing, that I wanna do is like through like empowering others. I feel like. like for me woodworking has been like a really big gateway to empowerment personally. Um,
um, beyond just being like, oh, I can use a power tool. Therefore, like I can do anything, you know, but, um, you know, for me, like connecting with people,
like being vulnerable with people and like I'm like a really deep level kind of like how you and I have been able to connect and share You know,
I think that's kind of what draws me into what I do and like I'm a creative person Like I'm just naturally like I have to be making things. So Yeah,
right now woodworking just happens to be like what I'm doing, but yeah, I could change I Think that it's worth like being open to possibilities because I mean it's a living legacy.
Yeah, like I'm just here for the ride, man. Yeah. Now that you've had an opportunity to learn about Rainey's leadership journey,
let's listen in as she shares the legacy she wants to leave behind. - Are you feeling comfortable right now?
I want to challenge that comfort. I'm gonna invite you to lean into discomfort, to lean into that unpleasant space where true change is made,
where courage is forged, honed and tested. tested. Change, advancement, growth, discovery, justice, enlightenment,
authenticity. Without discomfort, these things are unattainable, ineffective, and absent. So,
I'm an artist by nature, and a woodworker by trade. People are often surprised by this. not the artist part. I think they kind of figured that one out pretty quickly,
but I'm often asked, "How did you get into woodworking?" And the question I hear in my head isn't the one that is said out loud. The question I hear is,
"How did a woman get into woodworking?" Usually, Usually I answer this question by listing my credentials, how I went to art school and got a degree in painting,
how I had some great mentors and developed an interest in woodworking, got out of school, got a job as a woodshop technician at Savannah College of Art and Design, also known as SCAD.
And landed a job as the carpenter for the High Museum of Art in Atlanta and so on and so forth. and here I am. But the real answer to this question is because I was lucky,
because I was stubborn, because I wanted to be self -sufficient, because I had the fortune of being mentored by people who looked past my gender and my age.
So years ago, when I was working at SCAD, I wanted woman in her mid -40s came into the wood shop. She was hesitant, a bit intimidated by the machinery and the noise,
but she needed help with a project, so I showed her how to use the tools, how to use the table saw to rip long pieces of wood and then take them over to the miter saw to make beveled cuts. It was just another routine day of routine work for me.
me, something I took for granted. But for her, with each piece of wood she cut, her confidence soared. By the end,
she was beaming, glowing with a sense of achievement. And then she said something to me that I'll never forget. If only my husband could see me now.
at first I was taken aback. Like, what does your husband have to do with this chair we're building right now? Like, he's not here. You know, I was indignant.
But I kept this to myself and fortunately kept my job, but later it hit me it wasn't about the chair or the wood or the power tools.
it was about autonomy, it was about empowerment. That day she didn't just learn how to use a saw, she shattered a ceiling that she didn't know was there.
It was the first time that I saw the cracks forming along the barrier to entry and I knew that I had the ability to chip away at them. And it wasn't even my barrier.
That's the thing. This journey hasn't been without its hurdles. Being a young woman in a male -dominated field meant constantly proving myself and fighting for my voice to be heard.
Every suggestion, every decision needed a justification that my male colleagues rarely had to provide. Other men in my industry industry love to point out how awesome it is that badass women like me are making their way into the wood shop,
but what makes us women woodworkers badasses? The fact that we must work twice as hard to prove ourselves to be taken seriously? Working in an environment where our expertise is challenged,
where we must deflect well -intentioned offers of help and guidance based on a subconscious assumption that we don't know what we're doing, that we don't belong. This indignance lit a fire in me and that fire ignited a passion for teaching not just woodworking but empowerment.
After a decade -long career working in the arts field, I started my own business, Naughty Pine Woodworks. At Naughty Pine, I craft bondage furniture designed to empower individuals to embrace their desires.
with confidence and joy. Do you still feel comfortable? To me, naughty pine is more than a business, it's a movement.
It's about de -stigmatizing, normalizing, and empowering. My dream is to grow this into a force that not only breaks barriers in the bedroom, but also empowers women through trade skills.
This past year, I started teaching woodworking woodworking classes, specifically for women, trans, and non -binary folks. And the feedback has been nothing short of amazing. Stories of people finding their voice,
their confidence, their joy, and a space that they never thought that they belonged to. My legacy, it's not just about being a badass woman in woodworking.
woodworking. It's about creating a world where empowerment is the norm, where leaning into discomfort is seen as the first step to growth, and where everyone can express themselves authentically,
fearlessly, fiercely. Let us all be architects of a future where empowerment knows no boundaries, where creative expression knows no limits,
and where courage thrives. thrives. Let us lean into discomfort, because it's in that space that we find our true strength. Together,
we can break the barriers that confine us and build a world where everyone has the freedom to be their authentic selves. This episode of She Speaks is brought to you by our amazing partners at Shod Companies.
She Speaks is produced, edited, and scored by the very talented Travis Tench at Oak Hill Audio. If you loved the episode you just heard and want to support Let Her Speak's mission of elevating real women's stories, don't forget to follow, subscribe, and share at Let Her Speak USA.
Together, we will make our voices heard.