Mountain Cog
Mountain bike podcast that will make you laugh and learn. Featuring a wide range of passionate guests. Available everywhere (Apple, Spotify etc).
Mountain Cog
077 – Listener stories: crazy wildlife encounters on mountain bike trails.
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The MCP team put out a request on our socials and multiple forums requesting stories about crazy wildlife encounters on the trail. We got a great response (thanks to all that contributed)! So, we grouped the inputs into 8 categories and recorded this episode where Josh & Dane discuss the “best” (unscientifically chosen) responses.
The categories…
1. Bears
2. Birds, Bats, & Owls
3. Big Cats
4. Insects
5. Snakes & Other Reptiles
6. Big Animals
7. Small Animals
8. Mythical Creatures
Oh, and of course we had to include a dad joke for each category.
We laughed a lot during this recording. Hope you laugh (at least a little) when listening.
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Desert Creatures
Magellan (Josh)so you know what I did today what's that ? I like reworked my whole schedule and you sent me an itinerary .
The Guru (Dane)I sent you an itinerary .
Magellan (Josh)I hauled ass to make sure I could be home and ready to ride and you were like everything's good .
The Guru (Dane)Yep , and then I had to go to New Mexico to get a puppy and you didn't show up Dude , dude , but you were getting a new puppy . So , you know , I always think a veil is your house . Yeah , you know .
Magellan (Josh)And Veil's a sub East of Tucson .
The Guru (Dane)for our listeners outside of Tucson , this person said Vail and I thought I'll be right down the street from Josh . No big deal , I didn't know . It was halfway to New Mexico , so evidently Vail is a big place .
Magellan (Josh)And Dane's got a new puppy . What kind of puppy is it ?
The Guru (Dane)Aussie Shepherd .
Magellan (Josh)Aussie Shepherd and brand new , I mean six weeks 14 weeks 14 weeks .
Magellan (Josh)Ok , brand new puppy gets out playing with Mocha , our bougie golden doodle . Yep , that's awesome . Yes , so we've got an interesting topic today . If you go all the way back to episode one , like the very first episode of the Mountain Cog podcast , you'll remember that we had an episode called Everything in the Desert Wants to Kill you , and in there we talked a lot about all the different animals and creatures and cactus and the heat and everything in the desert that wants to kill you . You know , if you're , if you are a mountain biker , you spend time on the trail . Inevitably you're going to run into creatures , insects , stuff all the time , yep . So we thought it would be super cool to kind of reach out to our audience , which we did on Facebook , and , much to my chagrin , dane told me that like Facebook was the platform we need to use , and I'm like Facebook's for old people , what ?
The Guru (Dane)the hell are you talking about Like ? I like Instagram because of pictures and videos , but I have a hard time communicating , you know , on , on Instagram versus Facebook , and then , god knows , I can't email to save my life and uh , but uh , but other than that , like it's , it's just a place that you can , I can , I can navigate .
Magellan (Josh)I still think it's the old person platform , but I'm old , you are . We've established that several times . But um , you were right , because like we put , we put and we have more Instagram .
The Guru (Dane)But we put it on , but they're watchers .
Magellan (Josh)They're watchers , not engagers . They're lurkers , lurkers , yeah which ?
The Guru (Dane)is fine , I'm a lurker too . Sometimes I get I lurk for two hours at a time .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , so it might not be okay . Anyways , um , you were absolutely right , so put it on on on Instagram . Nobody responded . Put it on Facebook and dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of people responded . So we've got an awesome um set . And , and the question was , we had a really cool picture of a , of a bird , his mouth , mouth wide open . That was like I thought was , it was enticing black background . And I said you got a story and tell us like your best story about encounters with animals . Yeah , uh , or creatures in general .
The Guru (Dane)We had so many , you put them so many . You put them in categories .
Magellan (Josh)I did put them in categories , and so we are going to go through today and talk about some of the encounters that our listeners have had with different creatures . We thought that'd be interesting podcast .
Encounters With Bears and Wildlife
Magellan (Josh)What are the categories that we got ? I know you got a list .
The Guru (Dane)We got bears , we got birds , owls and bats , we got big cats , insects , snakes and other reptiles , big animals , cattle and moose . So these are from all over the country , Not only from all over the country .
Magellan (Josh)They're from all over the world . We've got some crazy things in here , small mammals .
The Guru (Dane)How is that different ?
Magellan (Josh)Like a cat . I don't know this . It's like skunks , but then also like wallabies and kangaroos I didn't know where to put like the guys from australia that rode in with like wallabies and kangaroos . I don't even know the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo .
The Guru (Dane)You don't mess with the kangaroos . You ever seen one of those guys flex ?
Magellan (Josh)oh my god , yeah , I've seen some videos about them , but yeah , so . So I think that's . That's the category . We've got kangaroos , wallabies , skunks , foxes and then mythical creatures mythical creatures , which probably is my favorite uh category of all of these .
The Guru (Dane)I'm reading some of these . Yeah , totally get it . Oh yeah , I think I've seen most of these .
Magellan (Josh)All right , it's . It starts out with bears and uh , and I have a dad joke for every one of these categories .
The Guru (Dane)We'll start with okay , so we're doing bears . So what's your dad joke ?
Magellan (Josh)So here's my my dad joke for bears what kind of shoes do bears wear ? Adidas , they don't wear shoes because they have bear feet . Oh , wear shoes because they have bear feet .
The Guru (Dane)Oh , you got the button working nice , I just randomly hit one and it seemed to work all right , so here's our first bear .
Magellan (Josh)So our first bear story . Go for it dave tell us who tell us ? Who tell us which listener are we ?
The Guru (Dane)doing last names too . Yeah , all right . Michael bond . Uh , this happened to him in Canada . So a bear cub in Whitehorse . Yukon left the van , rode a few miles and figured out I forgot my bear spray . Got the bear spray One mile later . A chonky , is that a name ? Yeah , okay , a chonky little bear in the middle of the trail .
Magellan (Josh)I think he was trying to say chunky .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , gotcha .
Magellan (Josh)That's okay .
The Guru (Dane)Because I do that stuff all the time . Mine is usually talk to text mistakes , but uh , chalky or something like that'll come up . I really wanted to whip the phone out and take a photo , but didn't want mama to show up , which is smart , uh , cause I'll tell you what mama bears don't mess around .
Magellan (Josh)So have you ridden anywhere ? That's like bear . Oh yeah , like bear , like laden . Where have you ?
The Guru (Dane)ridden . That's got tons of bears . So I've mentioned before my dog's name is my old dog , Whistler .
Magellan (Josh)And so that was that Whistler . Oh yeah , lots of bears in .
The Guru (Dane)Whistler . Yeah , and I remember coming down one of the runs , coming across the ski run . The trail kind of would come across it and there was a black bear right in the middle of the trail . I almost hit it . Oh wow , I almost hit it and just kind of turned off the trail , got onto the ski slope and then popped back up on the trail and was able to get out of there . But they would actually walk through the Whistler Mountain Village and just hang out . People were like , yeah , you just shut the door and they just walk on through .
Magellan (Josh)They're really used to them .
The Guru (Dane)But my wife , we wouldn't let her go hiking on any of the trails by herself because of the grizzlies . So these are little black bears that were pretty tame ish , and then often the the trails where you go hiking , there was grizzlies .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , grizzlies are bad , yeah . So we we went up to Alaska I guess last summer and we rode with some mountain bikers . Shout out to Andy uh and his family and Alison , his wife Um , uh , and his family and Alison , his wife Um , and they ride with little bells on their bike to share . And then they even whether no matter what they're doing on the trails , they always have bear spray with them .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , so I had none of that cause I'm from Tucson and we don't have a bear problem .
Magellan (Josh)I had no idea and uh .
The Guru (Dane)I even forgot my gloves , had to buy them there . But yeah , the bear bells , I think , are a great idea . I think we need them here too , just when we're on the fast descents . So we have those little bells that you can turn on and off . And I got one from Tyler , brought me from Switzerland . Yeah , that's , instead of being this mechanical thing that we sell in the shop , timber bell is what they're called .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah .
The Guru (Dane)This thing has got a magnet sewn into like a cordura flap okay comes around and that magnet holds the little dinger inside the bell .
Magellan (Josh)Say that again the little dinger yeah , I just needed that audio clip I got a little better that's even better , that's perfect , can okay .
The Guru (Dane)Hey , that's even better .
Magellan (Josh)That's perfect , can okay hey , listen , this is gonna be the audiogram for this episode .
The Guru (Dane)I just need you just , I just need to tell you about my little dinger . We're gonna get shirts for that one . Want to see my little dinger . I can do this all night oh , jesus , okay , so your little dinger okay , anyway , this this magnet comes up and stops it from ringing , and then you just pull it around and and re-stick it to the outside of the bell and it rings . So it's so . It's super simple .
Magellan (Josh)It's really cool so I'm having a hard time visualizing that , so maybe you can send me a link and we'll put it in the show notes yes , I'll get you a picture of my little dinger .
The Guru (Dane)Please don't send me a link and we'll put it in the show notes .
Magellan (Josh)Yes , I'll get you a picture of my little dinger . Please don't send me a little dinger pick you don't want a little dinger pick I don't want a little dinger pick . I've had more than I could handle , all right . So Corey Scott also said he was riding in Alaska and he came up on three bear cubs . Less than 50 feet from them . Mama was nowhere to be found .
The Guru (Dane)And uh , mama was nowhere to be found and , uh , I did an about face and went in the other direction . Yeah , quickly , right . Yeah , I'm serious like every , every bad thing you hear usually is either a grizzly or mama bear , mama bear yeah , gotta watch out for those mama bears . Do you think it's true that if you run downhill you can outrun them ? Hell , no , no , I well , I mean that's what they say don't climb a tree , and I've seen a beer . You ever been to Arizona ? This is up in Northern Arizona .
Magellan (Josh)There's a whole yeah , it's like just South of Sedona , right , no ?
The Guru (Dane)it's North near oh geez .
Magellan (Josh)What am I thinking of ?
The Guru (Dane)There's like a wild almost , almost , to the grand Canyon . Okay , so North of Flagstaff , okay , and they it's a bear refuge , and then they have a drive through park , which is really cool . So , you get to see the bears and um , but I saw these tree climbing bears and man . They can go up the trees fast .
Magellan (Josh)It sounds like that's something you made up .
The Guru (Dane)tree climbing bears no it's true , and you look and they're up in the trees . You drive , you're driving through , so it's kind of like a like , a little , um , you know , uh , what do they call it ? A safari park where you get to drive through and you keep your windows up and then you go through these little cattle guard things , but uh , but yeah , it was pretty cool . Um , oh , so I got one from Aaron .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , he was in California .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , sierra Nevada mountains . Flying down a trail came around a Ben face to face with a black bear . See , I think it's just a matter of black bears want to ride . I think're jealous , yeah , and they're upset that they can't ride bikes . You've seen them in the circus , you know riding bikes , yeah yeah , nobody .
Magellan (Josh)Currently there is nobody making a bear-sized bicycle that might actually be a good picture for this , for this actual episode is a bear . Is a bear riding a bike ?
The Guru (Dane)so . So aaron said he got this crap scared out of him , uh , and then he flew off the trail one way and ran off the other .
Magellan (Josh)So they , they , you know , like cartoonish yeah , the interesting thing with with all these bear encounters is that , like none of them actually , it's all like I ran into a bear and the bear ran away .
The Guru (Dane)I ran into the bear like well , thank god , nobody's like yeah , I got mauled to death well , they probably wouldn't be commenting on facebook .
Magellan (Josh)Just , I mean , maybe that's an obvious comment , but I think if someone had a friend , they got killed by a bear . They'd be like my buddy got eaten by a bear , and that would be definitely been one of the comments we got um a couple more here . So so louise , lois , lo , is it lois ?
The Guru (Dane)yeah , it's not even her real name . So I know , lois , she's okay or she's oh . Lois , we were we were with lois at At Graham .
Magellan (Josh)We were at Lois in Mount Graham .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah she's badass dude , she is .
Magellan (Josh)Totally badass . Shout out to Lois .
The Guru (Dane)Old downhill pro .
Magellan (Josh)She said grizzly on a trail we were doing night in the 80s going from North Vancouver to Squamish , on a ridge and the grizzly wouldn't get off the trail . I got a Lois story . So this chick , she's badass . We're down doing trail maintenance and they're like hey , do you guys want to do the hard trail ? It's like the crazy hike in , or do you guys want to do the easy trail ? And she's like I want to do the hard trail . So I think everyone did . We went and did the hard trail . But she just texted Lacey today and she said hey , I bought a season pass to Sunrise and it comes with a buddy pass , nice , so wink , wink , let me know when you want to go .
Magellan (Josh)She's like 65 or something like that . She's like riding this crazy downhill shit . She's like kudos to lowest .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , yeah , her and her husband they're , they're both great . I've ridden with them at a gram too and uh , we keep missing each other at sunrise . But yeah , I want to hook up with them at some point . And then Mike Ingram he walked past a grizzly in Canada , yeah , and he said it was a good bear . Like I can't you know , grizzly like scares the crap out of me . Now somebody we had an argument about bears , a grizzly bear and a Brown bear . Somebody said Brown bears are way , aren't they the same ? Well , that's what I said , and I guess they're just little offshoots , okay , but it's technically the same .
Magellan (Josh)Some like zoologist or whatever the right term is . Somebody's going to correct us . Mammalologist will tell us .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah .
Magellan (Josh)What's the difference between a brown bear and a grizzly ?
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , I think they're pretty close to the same thing , but there's some differentiation , but effectively the same and they're both aggressive .
Magellan (Josh)We we have no idea what we're talking about all right , we're gonna move on to the next category here . Okay , birds , owls and bats . Birds , owls and bats , and I have a owl joke here . Okay , you ready for ? I got a joke for every category .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , all right . Which owl uses the most force ? Oh god , is this a ? It's got to be a star wars it is totally a star Wars joke man , I can't even think of it . Like I'm not that clever , go for it .
Magellan (Josh)I'll leave one , oh God , I'll leave one , kenobi .
The Guru (Dane)I said clever . I should have said I'm not that dumb . That's horrible . Allie one , kenobi , sorry , all right , uh , why don't you read Sean's , because it is a long one ? Oh , you got to do it , man , oh man . Okay , sean , this is the hawk , right ? Let's see he was riding the trail called Badgers and Barrels . Let's see , big wash trailhead Saw a large shadow of a hawk on the ground as he was putting away . He didn't think anything of it .
The Guru (Dane)A few seconds later he was slammed in the back of his helmet , hard enough to pitch his head forward almost to the bars this is at night , right , yeah , I think so and so uh , so then he peddled his ass off , uh , like you know , and then anything , just to get away from it , uh looked at his helmet to shake off the shock , and then he let's see . So yeah , he just checked out his helmet to make sure . So he's basically riding along and he sees a shadow and then gets nailed in the back of the head like the hawk took out his head or something . That's crazy .
Magellan (Josh)So we were in my old office . We had a hawk nest In your office . That's no , no it was like , yeah , it wasn't in my office , it was at my office , it was outside the front , like I went into a side door and there was a hawk nest and we had signs up that said warning hawk nest .
Magellan (Josh)And when they had I don't even know what you call baby hawk , little baby hawks yeah , they dive bomb you they dive , bomb you , no shit , and I got hit in the head a couple times by those stupid hawks coming down and they're just protecting their young . So chances are this guy . What's his name ? His name is Sean Charlson Yep , charlson .
The Guru (Dane)Maybe spelled wrong ? Yeah Well , I don't think so . C-h-l-c-h-l-arson Charlson .
Magellan (Josh)Charlson .
The Guru (Dane)Charlson , or maybe we should just say CH Larson , that sounds like an author , sean CH Larson .
Magellan (Josh)I'm pretty sure he must have ridden by a hawk nest right when they had babies and that thing came down to protect them
Wildlife Encounters and Stories
Magellan (Josh).
The Guru (Dane)Jilly's grandma , where she stays . They had a huge pine tree in the front of their yard it's actually in the neighbor's yard , right in front of their house , and they had a hawk family and they would dive out . The neighbor used to have to leave her house with an umbrella no joke like it . And they and they I forgot what they had to do because they're protected , so they couldn't just they couldn't get rid of them , they couldn't get rid of them . I think eventually they were able . They had to actually get the tree . The tree's gone now the tree got removed .
Magellan (Josh)I'm not even kidding , yeah , because that that hawking by my work it came back every year . Yeah , there was like a couple months a year that we had to like dive bombing hawks . Yeah , well , sean , we recommend that you ride with an umbrella yeah , either that or maybe I don't know .
The Guru (Dane)Uh , you know that's . I've never seen that . So we had um on honeybee trail , which is pretty tame . We would go as fast as we could and two of my buddies have slammed into night , is it ? Night Hawks , the ones that they , they , the ones that are down right in the trail and then , as you're coming around the corner , they fly into the air and both of them , uh , hit them in the chest and like and I guess Luke just screamed his his head off Um and sorry .
Magellan (Josh)Luke , I'm calling you out on this , but did he ?
The Guru (Dane)scream like a girl , pretty much like a girl like you know , like yeah , uh , I don't know what I would have done . I can't say I probably would have done the same thing , but uh , yeah , it just surprised a lot of them so well .
Magellan (Josh)Lee nevin says here that he got hit in the face . I'm assuming lee's a man . But lee got hit in the face by a bat . It felt very cold blooded . He says , I wonder , do you have to get rabies ? But Lee got hit in the face by a bat . It felt very cold-blooded . He says , I wonder , do you have to get rabies shots if you get hit in the face with a bat ?
The Guru (Dane)I don't know I mean , luckily we're talking about a flying bat , not a baseball bat . Yeah , I don't know If it broke the skin maybe . Yeah , I don't know I love bats . I think bats are awesome . Are . I love bats , I think bats are awesome .
Magellan (Josh)And I are you an Ozzy ?
The Guru (Dane)Osbourne fan no , no , uh yeah , that was gross Um no , I used to bite the . I like to hang out . So I go over to our friend's house , joe's , and we'll hang out on his porch and you can see the bats uh , die , bombing his pool . Oh , to get the bugs . Yeah , it's pretty cool . So , robert , robert Reed , robert Reed , he had a barn owl flying just above his head . He didn't have , he just , you know , he said he wished he had an action cam . That would have been cool .
Magellan (Josh)Just to be riding and see a bat like flying right next to you .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , that would have been awesome . So that was a barn owl .
Magellan (Josh)Oh yeah , that was an owl . Yeah , and Ryan Butler said he got hit in the face riding at night by an owl .
The Guru (Dane)Oh wow , yeah , they're not small . I had an owl in my yard and we have these lights . I stick those solar-powered lights randomly in trees around my house so if the javelina comes through we can see them . And it's like a game camera , except we have to be looking . It's not recording . And I saw the light pop on and I went out and looked and there was this huge owl just sitting on the ground and I think it was really surprised that the light was on and then it took off , but it was probably about a foot and a half tall , you know , so pretty big sized owl , so , and then the wingspan was huge , they're crazy .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah the wingspan was huge .
The Guru (Dane)They're crazy . Yeah , do you know how I know you didn't do your homework , why ? Because the next one is justin telling the story about luke getting hit by the nighthawk , oh he .
Magellan (Josh)So justin was kinder than I was because he said uh , he made funny noises so this guy , this next guy , michael sullivan , he must either be in canada or like the midwest , because we dealt with this shit all the time really . Yeah , we dealt with geese , oh god , and they would attack you on the ground and most of my experience has been on golf courses or anytime you go by water . But this guy said he had two young ones , got too close to two adult geese that had two young ones . One adult took flight and started chasing me . Had to bolt fast I .
The Guru (Dane)I always hear about geese being just mean so , and canadian geese in protect in particular . So yeah , I'm surprised this is .
Magellan (Josh)This is more like bird related or flying related comments , and we just cherry picked a handful of these . Um , there was a lot more comments in there well , this was bird owls and bats birds , owls and bats , and I apologize to our listeners if we didn't . We didn't pick yours , but we , we tried to you get through this roughly in an hour . So now .
The Guru (Dane)now the next category is big cats . Do you have a joke ? I do I do .
Magellan (Josh)Uh , I saw a mountain lion the other day . Okay , it almost made me Puma pants oh my god , jesus christ , puma , you get it , yeah , yeah it's a shoe , right ? Yeah , okay , let's let's keep going here , all right ?
The Guru (Dane)let's see , all right , michael beal . Michael beal , mountain lion crossing the trail 30 yards in front on an evening ride . That would freak me out , like one of the reasons I don't ride at night by myself is for stuff like that .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah .
The Guru (Dane)Just just . I want somebody else with me .
Magellan (Josh)I forgot to add it here , but and I and I have this listed as one of the things we talk about in the podcast . In the past I've talked about the fact that we've got Mexican Jaguars that are up in southern Arizona now Yep , and confirmed that with a game can sighting , and we've had them throughout the years , a couple here and there .
Magellan (Josh)They've got really big territories like 70 miles or 100 miles of territory that they roam on , and I'm pretty sure I saw one . Someone told me , or one of the comments from our listeners , that they saw a black coyote . Oh , and I had never heard of that before . Yeah , and so have you heard of a black coyote ? No , so I looked it up and there's something like some really small percentage , like less than 10% of coyotes or 8% of coyotes are black , and it's some kind of mutation . Oh , really , so now I'm thinking that thing I saw Could have been a coyote . Might have been a big black coyote you ever seen ?
The Guru (Dane)a was a cuda monday I have seen cuda monday yeah , they're weird looking and if you've never seen one , it will freak you out it's like a raccoon and a monkey , yeah yeah , it's just really weird ringtail cat . I see the back end of them and that's about it , like they're on the way out by the time I get to him .
Magellan (Josh)So all
Close Encounters With Mountain Lions
Magellan (Josh)right . So uh , glenn neinstadt came across a young mountain lion in california years ago , came around a corner . They both surprised each other . We stopped and looked at each other . Mountain lion ran away and rode back the and he rode back the other way .
The Guru (Dane)So he's lucky because in california there's been quite a bit of mountain bikers attacked and killed actually by mountain lions like people , yeah , yeah , uh , and so actually by mountain lions Like there's , yeah , yeah , and so I can't remember . There's this one area that was like a cup , happened a couple of times .
Magellan (Josh)So , like typically when that happens , we had mountain lion that was roaming down here and they ended up euthanizing it and found out that it had rabies . And usually there's something wrong with the cat to get it to come down and like interact with people ?
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , they have to really go past some barriers , some , you know , but their um , their chase instinct is a big thing , and if you're riding along , so I have a friend , uh Omar was coming down uh green mountain trail . Yeah , him and his brother , I think , is this backside of Mount lemon .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , it's , it's kind of it's part of the lemon drop . It's the lemon drop . It's one of the the trails you take and uh , coming up on general hitchcock , uh campground , which is you dump into , and there's a drainage , and he said he was coming down and they felt like something was stalking them and they stopped and there was a mountain lion had jumped in between them . Oh wow , he had jumped onto the trail and was chasing the guy in front , which I think was omar , and uh , they both put their bikes in front of them and they yelled and through rocks and finally got it to go away . But they said it was pretty freaky .
Magellan (Josh)So so what do you ? We should probably shouldn't be giving advice on this podcast , cause I really don't know what the right thing to do is , but like are you supposed ? To stop or are you supposed to run ? I think .
The Guru (Dane)I think what they did was pretty smart , Cause you know , cats do have a chase instinct . They want to go after something . So if you're running , they're going to be faster , especially off road you know .
The Guru (Dane)And so usually with bears they say you know , make yourself real big and lots of noise . And just you know , within most aggressive animals you do that . I think with uh , cats you know you're probably doing that too , but the chase instinct is where they , they want to just run after stuff . So you definitely want to stop . Maybe put your bike in front . And you know , man , they had two people , which was nice , cause that's double jeopardy for the cat and they're the animal at one point is going to go .
The Guru (Dane)Is this worth it ? You know cause they're ? They're doing this for life and death . They're not joking around , you know .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , they're trying to get food .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , and if it looks dangerous they're not going to do it , they're going to run All right .
Magellan (Josh)So Chad Evans here and Chad and I had a little chat that I didn't put in this , but he was riding in Florida and he said he came up on a Florida Panther while riding a fire road near the Everglades in Weston Florida .
The Guru (Dane)He said he trotted in front of me about 40 yards as I slow pedaled to keep my I i9 hubs from making any noise . Can you slow pedal a set of i9 hubs and make them not make noise .
Magellan (Josh)That takes talent , but I yeah , you can do it said a rider came from the other direction and spooked him , so I asked him because I didn't know like is a ? What is a florida panther ? Is it like our jaguars ? Is it like a ?
The Guru (Dane)bobcat , can I tell you what popped into my head ? Yeah , go for it . Uh , a , an older lady . Uh , isn't that a cougar yeah , well , no , but it's a florida panther . Okay , there's a difference . So she's got like a american flag jacket on oh gosh and uh , she's got those like big , huge rose glasses you know the big ones and she talks like this and she's smoking yes , and she's smoking . And she says hey , young man , what are you doing tonight ?
Magellan (Josh)All right , we're going to All right . We'd like to apologize to any Florida Panthers .
Magellan (Josh)She does have white shoes on oh it's always got to be white shoes , dirty white shoes , anyways . So I wrote Chad and I was like , hey , what the F ? Is a Florida Panther ? And is it black ? I figured it was more like our Jaguars . And he posted a picture and he and is it black , is it ? I figured it was more like our , our Jaguars . And he posted a picture and the picture he posted looked exactly like what we would call a mountain lion or a Cougar here in Arizona . So I don't know if a Florida Panther is like the same thing as we would call a mountain lion or a Cougar .
Magellan (Josh)So if you know , let us know . You know , hit us up . Actually and this is an interesting time to talk about this If you didn't know this , every one of our podcasts now in the show notes has a little link at the top that says contact the host . Oh , nice , and you can text us . It'll open up your text and it'll send us a text and then we'll respond to you . So it comes to us like fan mail . So if you want to send us some fan mail , we've gotten some already actually . Yeah , for sure , man , uh , and we haven't even announced that it was out there .
Magellan (Josh)I just , I just loaded the new feature on our podcast host company and I just loaded down every single episode , so can I use it ? You can , you can , and then it'll come right back to you .
The Guru (Dane)You're like Dan , you look great today .
Magellan (Josh)All right so yeah , yeah , yeah , All right . So , uh , Chad Evans and his Florida Panther not the kind of Panther , All right , this next . This is the next long one by Shannon Wait this is this so . Shannon was on . This is a trip . I was on , you were here , this is a .
The Guru (Dane)this is a guru trip we did to Durango . Um , this is after we left . So , uh , I'm going to kind of paraphrase , because I didn't read this .
Magellan (Josh)Where is Hermosa ? She's talking about Hermosa Creek . Where is that ?
The Guru (Dane)So we went to last year . One of our trips was to Durango , and so we went to Purgatory , which is the mountain used to be called Durango .
Magellan (Josh)I'm going up there over 4th of July for the week , yeah .
The Guru (Dane)And so right behind that is Hermosa Creek , and so you can go up over the hill right behind the ski resort and there's this Hermosa Creek area . There's lots of camping , it's really nice . And then there's a Hermosa Creek trail that goes from Hermosa Creek up at Purgatory , down to the town of Hermosa , and it's like a 20 , 30 mile ride .
Magellan (Josh)Is there another one that goes from Pagosa down to Durango ?
The Guru (Dane)Are you from Pagosa ? I'm sorry .
Magellan (Josh)Not from Pagosa , I'm sorry . Not from Pagosa , from a purgatory down to Durango , cause I've written that .
The Guru (Dane)This one would be the closest thing to that Cause . Hermosa is closer to Durango .
Magellan (Josh)Okay , that's probably what I wrote .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , what I ?
Magellan (Josh)wrote Cause we wrote , we started up at the mountain and we basically ended up close to .
The Guru (Dane)Durango yeah , and I bet you that's it . And then , um , so that ride . So we did all that as a group and we rode . We went to Telluride one day . Yeah , so it was a great trip , and so Shannon and her husband hung out and camped . After everybody left , they stayed for another I think , week Right on . So it says here that her and Brian , her husband , they camped longer and decided to go ride Hermosa again . It's a great trail , by the way .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah .
The Guru (Dane)They did it solo and it's mostly downhill . Everybody's gonna yell at me because I told the whole group it's all downhill and it's not . It is , it is , it's not okay . I gotta explain this on the air , just so that's on the record . So if you look at the elevation of this trail , it's all downhill except for like one little climb , and I do say little and it's like 3000 feet of climbing . I can't remember , but I think bug Springs . Have you done bugs no look at me it's .
Magellan (Josh)I barely survived . Like , what's that trail we just rode the other week ?
The Guru (Dane)It's a hike , a bike , you know but it's , but it's less than a mile , it's probably quarter of a mile , right , okay , and so , um , so I'm telling everybody , here's the thing , uh , the last , the first time I rode that it was a creek and you rode down the creek , it was all downhill , and then you had this one climb to get out to the forest road to then go right into hermosa . Yeah , um , since then there was a fire and they rerouted the trail and they kind of started cutting it on the side of the hill up out of the creek , because there was too much deadfall right , and so it really isn't any more downhill or uphill , but it's pretty flat , and then slightly downhill and you're at 10 000 feet , and so what happens is you start to bonk early , uh , yeah , because you get .
Magellan (Josh)You know you're already 20 miles . You're already 20 miles into the ride , right ? Yeah you're a little , a little .
The Guru (Dane)You're a little bonk anyways , and so everybody was like , oh no , this is death March , we're going to die . And we did . We came out at like nine at night because it was so hard , but , um , but Shannon loved it and she did it again , and so it says here that she was going down the same direction . Uh , she saw a mountain lion sashaying .
Magellan (Josh)Kudos for using the word sashay in a Facebook post .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , like sashaying , I don't think there's that .
Magellan (Josh)That's probably not a term or a word that's used very often in Facebook posts .
The Guru (Dane)Let's see she came to a stop and started praying , which is awesome . It kept walking away from her without a care in the world , like it didn't even care , and then disappeared around the corner and she waited about 20 minutes and turned the music on her phone to full blast . So that's like that bear bell giving some notice and slowly headed down the trail , talking to herself in the line as she went .
Magellan (Josh)Everyone's always busting our balls . Mike , our old host , mike , shout out to Mike how you doing , buddy .
The Guru (Dane)Oh yeah man , How's he ? I hope he's doing well .
Magellan (Josh)I'm sure he's doing well . We need to have mine at some point .
The Guru (Dane)We need to go for a ride .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , for sure that would be great For sure . Yeah , we got to find the time tour to tucson , oh nice . So just because I've never ridden 100 miles , I figured I might as well go do it one time . And he's supposed to do it with me . But uh , anyway , shout out to shannon for uh , using the word sachet , yes , and in a in a in an episode here , uh , jeremy seaman , simon seaman , don't know s-i-e-m .
The Guru (Dane)I I'm going s-i-e-m-o-n .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah I'm going seaman , seaman , okay , jeremy seaman , uh , had a bobcat or ran over a bot cat , oh man . And the reason I included this one was because he mentions that he was in Fort Ord . Where's Fort Ord ? Do you know ? Where Fort Ord is ? No , all right . So my first assignment in the Air Force , I was assigned to the Defense Language Institute in Monterey , california , and there's an Army installation , kind of a defunct Army installation a little bit north , just outside of Monterey , really close to where Sea Otter is actually , is actually , oh , okay , um , the seattle classic , you know , the bike festival and race that happens every year anyways , that's four-doored and that kind of like brought back memories of my youth and so I included it for no other reason than this guy ran over a bobcat and it happened where I , when I , when I first joined .
The Guru (Dane)You run over anything on your bike , all kinds of stuff . I mean snakes I've done lots of snakes and those suicide mouse the suicide mice , mice .
Magellan (Josh)I always try to miss the snakes . I won't run over a snake on purpose . I always try to jump it , but occasionally you come around a corner . You don't have a choice .
The Guru (Dane)They're really , they're way , they're all bony cartilagy Like they're . I don't feel like it hurts them that much . You think it's going to crush them , but I think they're . You know , I had a rattlesnake in my yard once and I was going after it with a shovel cause I was freaked out and I was young and I didn't know and it was a very stout , very stout thing . So I don't ever worry about running them over . But it's either run them over or stop ahead of time . No , in between .
Insect and Wildlife Encounters
Magellan (Josh)I will tell you , man , and again , like a , a reptologist is going to call in and tell us , but I'm pretty sure it's snake bodies are actually really really really delicate .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , let's find out , I hope so we should find out .
Magellan (Josh)And my understanding is , like rattlesnakes , the way they work they strike and they back far away and they let their prey die from the poison and then , once the prey's dead , they come up and eat it . And the reason they do that is because their bodies are so fragile that a mouse that's like clawing and thrashing can actually damage and really hurt the snake . Wow . So my understanding is the snakes are actually really , really fragile . So that's my hypothesis , that's my belief . We'll find out .
The Guru (Dane)If it's true and I don't know , we'll probably never get back to you on that , but if someone knows the truth , I would like to know that Cause I even tell people on the trail , like if you're the first person to put your brakes on , like , keep going , If that snake stretch across the trail , just keep going . Because I've had friends who have literally locked their brakes up , flipped over and landed on the snake .
Magellan (Josh)you know or you could take Joanna Yates skills course and she will teach you how to bunny hop . So you can bunny hop over the snake . Yes , yeah , I just sometimes there's not bunny hop . So you can bunny hop over the snake , yes , yeah .
The Guru (Dane)I just sometimes there's not , I haven't . But then the second person is the one at the most risk , because now the snake is mad , and if it's a rattlesnake it's coiling and getting ready , and so you , as soon as you're past the snake , you have to stop and let the next person know yeah . So All you have to stop and let the next person know yeah .
Magellan (Josh)So all right . So the next one's from Marty , and he had a couple of things , but it skipped the first one . Um , this I thought was interesting . He ran into something that he thought was a lost dog . He got off his bike to try to retrieve the dog , but what did it end up being Okay Mountain ? I don't know how , the hell , I don't know , like mountain lions are huge .
The Guru (Dane)By the way , I don't know how you mistake the mountain lion for a dog , marty hernandez but uh , good on you for trying to rescue the dog well , it'd be great if he got it in the car . Have you seen those memes with the guy that's got like a badger in the back seat ? He's like found , found this dog , rescued this dog , and it is really angry .
Magellan (Josh)What was the movie with Will Ferrell where his dad puts him in the car with a cougar to teach him how to tell a big night ? Oh , shout out to tell a big night , all right so we're moving on to the next category All right .
The Guru (Dane)Insects , bees and spiders .
Magellan (Josh)All right , I got a good joke here . You ready ? Okay , my wife told me to take the spider out of the house , or to take the spider out instead of killing it . Okay , so , uh , we went out , had a few drinks . He's a nice guy , he's a web designer . I fucked it up at the beginning . I totally did so . Surprisingly , not as many insect . There's a couple of crazy ones in here , things I did not expect , and I had to research one of the things people sent over but not as many insects as I was thinking .
The Guru (Dane)So the Wade Phillips one . The picture I can't see . Could you see it when he posted it ?
Magellan (Josh)Oh , hang on a second . Let me look .
The Guru (Dane)He said he had it hit him square in the face on an early morning ride .
Magellan (Josh)Okay , yeah , so this um , hang on , I'm trying to get to the actual area . Spider , I'm just gonna be all creeped it is a spider , and here let me show it to you so you can take a look at it oh god so this was a five inch and what they call a banana spider . Oh , just the reason they call it . I like , hate spiders .
The Guru (Dane)The reason they call them banana spiders is they often show up in shipments of bananas from like south american countries yeah , wasn't arachnophobia that the spiders came from like bananas and then mated with something else and then ? I have not seen arachnophobia , so I totally , I think , that totally could be real , but um , I did , I did look up .
Magellan (Josh)Like these are often confused . There's something called an orb weaver spider that looks really similar to this and and there is one of these in this like category that people like have lumped together as banana spiders there's one from uh oh shit , brazil . That actually is very poisonous and can really mess you up , but they said they've only had , like over 10 years or something , nine instances of these spiders showing up in bananas . Oh , so you know . I guess I never thought to look at my bananas to see if there's spiders hanging out in there .
The Guru (Dane)We buy like two bananas at a time , Like . So I think we're pretty good .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , that's super crazy . The next one this Joker Dana .
The Guru (Dane)Joan Higgins . Dana John Higgins . I don't know who this guy is . Is that a guy or a girl ?
Magellan (Josh)I don't know Dana , who's that ? That's Dane , by the way .
The Guru (Dane)This is a true story . Brian Cowan , I think , is his name , was out riding and he ran over a scorpion and it flipped up off of his tire onto his neck and stuck him in the head .
Magellan (Josh)So so I I asked you a question . He never responded to me . Okay , like you know , here here in the desert , we have a couple of different kinds of scorpions .
The Guru (Dane)Oh , I don't know .
Magellan (Josh)The little ones , the little like like translucent or brown ones . He .
The Guru (Dane)Like translucent or brown ones . He's still alive .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , I mean , even the worst scorpion sting is like a bee sting like a bad bee sting , yeah , so I don't think they kill you . Maybe kids and old people . You should probably be careful .
The Guru (Dane)Yes , yes , because I'm old , because you're old .
Magellan (Josh)But the little tiny scorpions are actually worse than the big scorpions . So if you see a big giant black scorpion it won't really hurt you that bad . But the little ones .
The Guru (Dane)So my mom's cabin's in the woods and we always were taught you know , bark spikers or bark scorpions are pretty bad , they're the little ones . So and then Stephen had a bee fly into his ear on a downhill . Stephen Rooley , oh , thank you , and it stung the heck out of me . Ow , could you imagine getting stung in your ear ?
Magellan (Josh)That would be awful , I like someone flicks me in my ear and I have have you had them get into your helmet ?
Magellan (Josh)This is what surprised me . I have had bees flying to my helmet a dozen times probably over the 20 years . Just as free , just as like two weeks ago I was riding on the loop on the in the West side and I think we're going to post a episode tomorrow . So it'll be like two weeks ago we would have posted an episode about the loop so you can learn all about what that is . But I was riding on the loop and I was trying to keep up with these . I was on my gravel bike , I'm trying to keep up with these roadies and I'm grinding really hard in .
Magellan (Josh)A bee flies into a helmet and I pull my helmet off and I get the bee out , put my helmet back on , all while I'm still riding , and I get like three miles up the trail and another one , no , and my , I noticed that my right air bud ear bud , like my Apple air pod is missing . Oh crap . And I'm like , ah , for the Christ sakes , it must've fallen off when I was taking my helmet off and I was so ingrained in like catching the roadies ahead of me and not dying and not dying that I didn't pay attention to it . So I get , I get out my phone , I look at find mine . You can find your AirPods on no way . So I see my AirPod and I'm like , okay , there it is . I can see it's three miles behind me . So I turn around and I go back towards it and I and I'm kind of looking at my phone while I'm riding in and you're not supposed to do that but I'm like what the hell ?
Magellan (Josh)And then I get , I get closer and closer and closer , and it's moving and moving and moving . And then I see this , this like uh , what would it call him ? Unhoused or unhoused person on a bicycle and he's peddling . He sees me coming , he's peddling . As fast he had picked up my airport , he rode away with it .
The Guru (Dane)And my airpod .
Magellan (Josh)He rode away with it and eventually I just uh , I just let it go . You didn't yell at him , no , I didn't . Well , I was too far away and whatever . I just let him go and I was in a the longest ride of one of the longest rides I've ever done . So I was like I didn't want to add more miles by going back the other direction . I was already like kind of bonking anyways . So I bought a new set of airpods . That's like 160 bucks or whatever . So the next . So then , like a couple weeks later , I realized you can actually buy a replacement , just one , just one . So today I ordered it and today it showed up . So now I have two sets of airpods I need two sets because I always lose one .
Magellan (Josh)so if you lose an airpod , just know you can buy a replacement for like 50 bucks . That's much better , way better , yeah , but but a of beast things on here , yeah , steven rule Nancy .
The Guru (Dane)Nancy gave us a picture . Yeah , she gave us a picture .
Magellan (Josh)I'll show you the picture . She , uh , she's uh uh .
The Guru (Dane)I think Nancy . So Nancy is a old um downhiller . Uh , from no breaks , really . Yeah , nutrition now that's cool , she's pretty awesome and you know we used to sell a helmet we called the beach be catcher .
Magellan (Josh)It had um like mesh or something .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , it had it had um screen over the front vents . I need that . I thought it was brilliant and I haven't seen it in a long time . This is easily 10 years ago we got a business idea .
Magellan (Josh)Maybe we can come up with like an aftermarket mesh system .
The Guru (Dane)one of my buddies , jim nixon goddammit , liked the idea , and so he just hot glued some screen .
Magellan (Josh)We can do something better than hot gluing , but still , like you know it works .
The Guru (Dane)He didn't wait for somebody to make something . He's like this is a good idea and he just hot glued some . I'm pretty sure it was Jim Nixon , I can't remember . But man , I love that bee catcher . I sold that like crazy because , uh , you would . It happens a lot , yeah , and well , in the spring you know when the flowers are going , the bees are going crazy and they're all over the place and you get them in there and you got to stop and pull your helmet off .
Magellan (Josh)You can't , you can't , just keep riding .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , no , it's going to sting you , that's for sure .
Magellan (Josh)All right , we're changing categories . Now I got , we go . Most people think that rattlesnakes and cobras are very dangerous . Yes , but really they are completely armless , that's awful Because they don't have arms .
The Guru (Dane)It's not even the same word . What's wrong with these ?
Magellan (Josh)people'll leave one kenobi . That was good . Come on , man , they're not supposed to be great , they're dead . Jesus name , I know all right . What do we got here ? What's our , what's our first one here ?
The Guru (Dane)uh , let's see . Spencer thompson ran over a rattlesnake accidentally , yep probably killed it because they're weak .
The Guru (Dane)No , that's not true uh stopped a ways ahead to see if he was okay . He was extremely angry . See , that's what I told you . They get ticked , yes , and uh , he looked around for a stick long enough to get an angry rattlesnake off the trail because he doesn't want the next guy . Once they're coiled , then you really , really got to be careful , because they can jump quite a bit . Uh , when they're stretched out , they can't do as much they , they can't , they can't move . Yeah , we had a couple of riders , a couple , like I said , about a month ago . One of them , oh , we were on our retro ride . We were taking our retro bikes out to the urban trail . We took our old , ancient bikes and there was a rattlesnake and I stopped and told everybody and it was striking at Tyler as he rode by .
Magellan (Josh)Oh , wow .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah and so , and Tyler's like no , I was way around . Yeah , I had that kind of like um , you know , when you're looking from front on I can't tell . My depth perception was yeah , it looked like it was striking right at him , but he said he was plenty out of the way . I think it's . I think it struck after he went by .
Magellan (Josh)So Lacey and I were riding two weeks ago our e-bikes and we went out like as far in the Arizona trails we could , towards Mexico , up to like , I think , what they call Green Gate . I don't know if you've ever been up that far . I've never . That was the first time I'd gone up that far .
The Guru (Dane)Is this the one before the lakes ? It's after the lakes . Oh okay , it's like pretty far . It's like the next gate after the lakes .
Magellan (Josh)It's not so great on a pedal bike , but , um , we were coming back there and just coming down towards Gabe Z , um I had something like thump me really hard in the leg . And then I came back and I had a little trickle of blood running down my leg and one Mark , and I thought damn , I got bit by a , by a snake or something . I don't know what it was there was . I was in the middle of the trail so there was no branches or anything . I mean , I guess it could have been a random rock that flew up and hit me . But you know , my story is I got bit by a snake and it was a dry bite .
The Guru (Dane)That's , that could be . That could be .
Global Wildlife Encounters
The Guru (Dane)Uh , yeah , uh . Spencer said that he was trying to look for sticks to get it off and he can't find them . So uh , there's no sticks here .
The Guru (Dane)I I usually shoo them off with my wheel , I'll put my wheel in front of them , uh , and then I'll kind of block them with my wheel and then I'll have my other riders go by and then I'll just kind of walk around and keep my wheel , cause if they're going to strike they're going to hit a spoke or something . But honestly , you know , as long as you leave them alone , they'll leave you alone . If you put it in front and just kind of make your way around , they don't want to strike . You know the there was just an article about uh dealing with uh rattlesnakes in Arizona and and they were just really stressing that rattlesnakes are not aggressive , they're not going after you , they're not going to chase you , they really don't want to deal with you at all . And so if you can just give them a wide berth and get around them , you'll be fine yeah , um , but uh , we are here now indemnified from any bad that happens to you .
Magellan (Josh)Please understand that you should not take any of this as professional guidance and seek guidance from a professional snake wrangler oh yeah , it's not us .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , and if you follow our , direction you're dumb just in general all right .
Magellan (Josh)So we start getting to some of the international like input here , but Jamie Lynn , he was in Pasadena , that's in California as well . And uh said he wrote over rattlesnake . Not a big deal for for someone that lives in Pasadena or in the Southwest , but a big deal from someone from England .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , so , and that's gotta be freaky . Oh so where is a country that you will never go ?
Magellan (Josh)Where's the country ? Well , will never go . Where's the country ?
The Guru (Dane)well , I will never go , don't know , uh , yugoslavia I'll probably never go to yugoslavia . So , australia I always wanted to go and I will not go now because I don't like spiders . Have you seen the spiders that they have in australia ? No , no , I haven't .
Magellan (Josh)They're like as big as your face but we have a couple australian comments in here coming up that are pretty interesting australians are hardcore they are badass , yeah , so so I probably shouldn't tell this , but they got giant rabbits that will kick your ass .
The Guru (Dane)They got like yeah , everything there . You think the cactus and the heat here is bad man . Australia , like a little tiny bug , bites you and you're dead .
Magellan (Josh)So that's interesting . Um , yeah , I got an opportunity . Well , I have a lead on an opportunity potentially to move to Australia and I try to get my family I'm like you guys want to go to Australia and they're like , don't do it .
The Guru (Dane)No , no . See it from an airplane . That's about it .
Magellan (Josh)All right . So this is when it starts getting crazy , so we get into some real international stuff .
The Guru (Dane)And .
Magellan (Josh)I went back and forth with Colin and I included some of the comments here . Colin Stundin coming down a single track and he saw a cobra at the trailhead First . I'm thinking this is bullshit . He says he braked as hard as he could to not ride over . It , almost went over the bars and landed on it . I told you people have done that . Almost went over the bars and landed , stopped a half meter away . That's when I knew this was not an American .
The Guru (Dane)Luckily , he only half't go over the bars .
Magellan (Josh)Stopped a half meter away . That's when I knew this was not an American . Yep , yep , yeah . Luckily he only half hooded and moved away , oh so that's interesting . I did , I kind of figured it out , yeah , and I said , cobra , where the hell are you riding ? Yeah , he said , a forest in South Africa . Wow , shout out to our South . Uh , have you heard of the band die antwoord ? Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah it's like one of my favorite bands . They're from south africa .
The Guru (Dane)Her voice is just amazing .
Magellan (Josh)So , oh , my god I think you're freaky and I like it a lot . All right , let's keep going here .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , russell smith , uh , had two encounters with black mambas that's the one that you always hear about like they're super dangerous , right ? Uh , one of the fastest , most aggressive . So this is the ones that will chase you , will chase you yeah , black mambus poisonous snakes in the world , and the first was a snake , the . It was two meters long , he said two meters , that's like six feet , that's a big ass snake man . I don't want something that big that's gonna chase me and potentially kill you if it bites you I mean , I think we got it good here in the desert , like , like .
The Guru (Dane)Like I said , rattlesnakes are not going to chase you can I tell an off-color joke ?
Magellan (Josh)yeah , I , I don't care so two guys are in the wood , one gets bit by a rattlesnake in the pecker .
The Guru (Dane)They're way far away oh , is this going to be a suck out the blood thing ?
Magellan (Josh)it is oh , my god so another guy calls the ambulance or calls 9-1-1 , says what do I do ? And they say well , you were too far to get to you . Your buddy's gonna die , you're gonna have to suck out the poison . So he comes back to his buddy and his buddy says well , what they say , nothing we can do . There's nothing we can do . Buddy , you're not gonna make it . Sorry for the off-color joke I've been trying to keep it clean too today it's not bad .
The Guru (Dane)And what are you blaming me ?
Magellan (Josh)for I don't know . You said it was okay . Oh yeah , all right , frank jaeger okay , jaegermeister , haven't had that in a while . Nice wild boar chasing me at 3 am neara cemetery . So he says don't ask , but what the hell you riding at 3 am through a cemetery . Cemetery a grave robber yeah , I don't know , I don't know . And this guy says crossing a spitting cobra and king cobra in a different place in time and trails , wow , so obviously this is someone from either africa yeah , we gotta ask them where they're from yeah , some of them I did .
Magellan (Josh)We had so many comments I didn't get to everybody and I get a bore because they're they're aggressive .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , you know that's like javelina here . You don't want to mess with them , so all right , so we have . We have another south african here gareth yeah and I can't do his last name oh c oh , oh c h s e how do you pronounce that gareth ? Gareth , you're just gonna have to send us an . We're gonna say oaksie , okay gareth oaksie from south africa happened , so he's been struck by snakes Struck at .
Magellan (Josh)Struck at . Oh yeah , Struck at .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , all right , once by a relatively harmless scap sticker .
Magellan (Josh)Scapstecker , no idea , I didn't look it up . I should have looked it up , I didn't .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , sounds awesome . That should be a band name Scapstecker cap sticker where he was trying to use his bike to herd it to safely across the dirt road . That's what I was saying .
Magellan (Josh)I use it to , yeah , I actually saw you do that when we were up with , uh , pivot guys . Yep , yeah , ran that rattlesnake . Yeah , I've never seen one do that before . Oddly , I think I would have seen it . But yeah , it was kind of close to me and you put your front wheel right in front of it and I felt safe .
The Guru (Dane)Yep , yeah , that was cool so uh , it uh turned and struck my frame , so I left it uh to fend for itself . He's like screw you , buddy . Uh , and once by a very startled black mom . But man , black mambas that's scary .
Magellan (Josh)So I rewrapped , swerved around a bush and heard the zing as it struck my back tire .
The Guru (Dane)Did he get a flat ? I wonder if he got a flat flat . Wow , well , you know . You put that together with the story about the scorpion being flicked up and and stinging the guy in the head . You know , imagine a black mamba being flung up by your tire and wrapping around your head this guy's playing mario brothers here because he says he used up a life yes , but he thought he had actually been bit .
Magellan (Josh)That is scary man all right , so uh , we got another one by this , this girl you ever seen a ?
The Guru (Dane)what is it called ? Is it racer ? Yeah , what are they called Black racers ?
Magellan (Josh)Black racers yeah , I was coming down , little small ones that go super fast , super fast .
The Guru (Dane)I was cruising down this trail we have called Milgrosa and it's a fairly . It was a section of downhill of Milgrosa that wasn't super technical , so you're just cruising . I was going probably 15 , 20 miles an hour and I just kind of looked over to my right and I just saw , poking out of the grass , a snake head looking right at me , going the same speed . It was really cartoony . We both looked at each other and then he just kind of took off in one direction . I kept going the way I was going . I couldn't believe the speed of that snake . It was just right there with me and I think I came up on it and it was running away from me and I was just you just happened to be like yeah same direction and I freaked out it's like , oh , screw this , I'm going the other way , yeah so all right .
Magellan (Josh)So dana , I don't know her oh yeah , dana , dana again who's this chick dane higgins ?
The Guru (Dane)let's see . Oh , this happened the other night or the other day . We were coming , we were doing a really techie trail and we were doing all these rock slabs and coming up over and my buddy , justin , came up over one and almost crashed onto a Gila monster . Huge Gila monster Probably had to be at least like body-wise , a foot long , and that means the tail's another half a foot .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , so it's a big animal .
The Guru (Dane)He's a big , it's a big animal , he's a big , girthy guy and um , he , uh , he just hissed and he kind of went up the rock where where Justin was going over and and Justin would just steered right by him and I came up to the top but Justin had already warned me and so we're both , so Justin's at the bottom of the rock and I'm at the top getting ready to come down , and there's a big crack in it , and he just came up the rock and went in , hissing into the , into the crack and got out of the way .
Magellan (Josh)You say here that's another reason to say no to crack Yep .
The Guru (Dane)That's why you say no to crack . You don't know what's in those cracks .
Magellan (Josh)So Jim Noreen said he uh slammed on his brakes at his Superman over the handlebars , landed close enough to a rattlesnake that he could have kissed it okay .
The Guru (Dane)So I have told you twice today about people flipping over . Yeah , jim was on my bike when he did that . He borrowed , he borrowed one of my bikes and he did that on mouse trail . Uh , and I remember that because he told me about it and I'm like you gotta be kidding me . He goes , he , he freaked out , hit the brakes , and that's why I keep saying you see a snake stretched across , just bunny hop it , either bunny hop it , run it over , whatever , but if you try and hit the brakes you're going to probably land right on top of it and Jim is the witness to that .
Magellan (Josh)Well , my good friend over at RVBS .
The Guru (Dane)McKenna Valley Bike Service .
Magellan (Josh)Chris Crotto . He told me a story similar to this . I can't remember if it was him or his wife , but they did the same thing . They came around a corner , I think there was . People stopped and they slammed on their brakes because the people they flipped it was either him or his wife flipped over the bike and landed like inches , like with the snake reared up inches from their face .
Magellan (Josh)Nothing
Encounters With Big Animals
Magellan (Josh)happened . They got away . Okay , oh yeah , we got another , we got another . Uh , this now I don't think there are actually these animals in America , so this has to be like in Africa or something . But go ahead .
The Guru (Dane)Lance Sambrero . Yeah , he said he came across a crocodile sunning itself .
Magellan (Josh)Don't we have alligators here and crocodiles , like in the Nile ?
The Guru (Dane)I don't know . I thought one was freshwater and one was saltwater . I'm not really sure . All right , one's pointy , one's squared off , I don't know . Uh one you see a while , uh , you know , after a while , crocodile , oh my God .
Magellan (Josh)You just you and then another one here from David Mills on the Alif uh Alifia river state park . I think I looked this up . Thea River State Park I think I looked this up . It was in Florida as well . Five foot , five foot alligator . Get off the trail .
The Guru (Dane)I believe . So I was hanging out , we were in Florida Markham Park and , I think , fort Lauderdale and we were riding no-transcript and a waterway and while we're hanging out waiting for the rain , I saw like two alligators go by . Just swing by , yeah , and I'm just like holy shit . Yeah , and you know I'm from arizona where I see rattlesnakes but I don't see huge lizards yeah , you don't see giant alligators .
Magellan (Josh)I was watching this . Uh , there's like a meme out there about these golfers and they're they must be golfing in florida . And there's in a foursome and and like how can you tell which one's the alpha ? And one guy's walking up over the hill and he sees this alligator . He's like ah , and like runs away . And the other one walks up , sees the alligator , looks at it , runs over and like pats it on the tail and it like swims off into the water . Like which one of these guys is the alpha ?
The Guru (Dane)I just saw a video of some woman like jumping into a lake full of alligators and wrestling an injured one and then wrestling it out of the water and taking it over to help it . To help it . Yeah , it's the most hardcore thing in this late . I don't know who she is , but she's just kudos .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah .
The Guru (Dane)Kudos to the old and there's alligators all around her . She's doing this like they're all sunning on the the shore crazy and she just jumps in and grabs this one . It was crazy all right , we're switching categories now what do we got uh , big animals cattle , deer and moose all right , I got my joke .
Magellan (Josh)You ready ? Okay , go for it . What happens when you try talking to a cow ?
The Guru (Dane)Oh God , he wants to see a movie . That's a good one .
Magellan (Josh)That's not the punchline , but that's a good one , it's . Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder . Oh God , mine was better , but your movie was good . Your movie was good . All right , before we get into this , I got to mention here , if you go back in history , Wait , I got to .
The Guru (Dane)I got to before we get into this .
Magellan (Josh)I got to mention here , if you go back in history , wait , I got a joke in the well , hang on , let me . Let me finish my thought here in the mountain cog podcast . Uh , uh , episodes . You can get back to episode 22 . We had Sean Nelson on Okay , and Sean tells a story at the 24 hour prepping for the 24 hour race , where he got severely attacked by a bull Wow , ended up attacked by a bull Wow and then attacked by a bull Wow . They almost killed him , wow . And he tells that whole story .
Magellan (Josh)So if you want to hear a really amazing and Sean's a really funny great guy , he was a he's a state champion cyclist . Um , great guy . But Sean Nelson , episode 22 tells a story about how he got attacked by a bull out at out at near the 24 hour trail . But um , go ahead and tell your joke .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , what's a interrupting cow ? Sound like Okay .
Magellan (Josh)I'm not going to say anything because I knew this joke .
The Guru (Dane)That's a little late .
Magellan (Josh)No , because I knew the joke . I knew the joke , but I figured we'd have too much dead air there if I just went .
The Guru (Dane)Okay .
Magellan (Josh)All right . So we got some big animal stories here , all right . So this first one , I didn't even know what it was . This is SJ Hussman . What do you think SJ ? Sj's real name is sam sam john san joaquin san joaquin san joaquin , john samuel jackson so I didn't even know what this was . We was riding in a trail outside of la cruces , which is in new mexico . Okay , 2010 , chased by an oryx what is an oryx ?
Magellan (Josh)if it were not for my buddy Nate warning me , it would have definitely gored me . I think in here it tells Oryx look like a cross between a large deer and a zebra with very large horns . They were brought to New Mexico to eat the range grass and were mostly inhabiting around the White Sands Missile Range .
The Guru (Dane)Oh , I've seen them there I have too .
Magellan (Josh)They were originally brought in from Africa . Oh , wow , wow . So the guy almost got an Oryx in New Mexico . That's crazy .
The Guru (Dane)There was a video of a guy going up Mount I think it was Mount lemon and he was climbing and deer just just took him out and took him out . Could you imagine like just getting nailed by it ? Oh yeah , it's crazy , it would hurt and they're not like . They're not light and fluffy like a rabbit .
Magellan (Josh)No , no substantial deer hits you , that's .
The Guru (Dane)That's gonna be a bad day uh-oh , bryant , bryant , haffler bryant haffler high speed high speed crash into a moose in anchorage . So and and I know bryant , he is fast , yeah , so I I can imagine how , how high speed that is .
Magellan (Josh)So and we rode up Anchorage and I can see how you could come around a corner in some of those trails super high speed flow trails and just wham , wham , right , I mean , a moose is like 1,000 pounds .
The Guru (Dane)It's like a big animal and they can be mean . He said he had to leave his bike . He had to wait until the moose left to get his bike back . Probably a good idea . Wow , until the moose left to get his bike back .
Magellan (Josh)Probably a good idea . Wow , bev Carl Roth . Okay , this was an interesting story , right , she was on one of the trails here , adjacent to the fence line . There were four cattle between me and an oncoming rider . The cattle got spooked . Three of them literally jumped the fence . No , I've never seen a cow jump I didn't know a cow could jump a fence .
Magellan (Josh)The fourth one tried , but didn't make it . How could jump a fence ? The fourth one tried , but didn't make it . Oh God , oh , wow . I want to see that . I'm going to have to Google . I'm going to go on a rabbit hole adventure later , like cows jumping .
The Guru (Dane)You know well , there's the cow jumped over the moon , but other than that , I usually identify with cows because they can't jump .
Magellan (Josh)So now I've got to find a new spirit animal , and Justin that's your buddy , Justin .
The Guru (Dane)Right , Justin says he's played .
Magellan (Josh)NASCAR with cattle .
The Guru (Dane)Oh yeah , Racing them at Middlegate . And a gray fox .
Magellan (Josh)And a gray fox , yeah .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , super rare , especially if it's here and then Don Couch .
Magellan (Josh)Oh yeah , don Almost had a head-on collision with a cow on the 50-year .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , on , almost had a head-on collision with a cow on the 50 year . Yeah , 50 year . You come around the corner and some of those cows are black so we do a lot of night riding . Yeah , you come around a corner and you just can't see him . I did that on the uh , you know we were talking about jim noreen that flipped over onto a snake . He was coming down a trail called mouse , which we don't ride anymore , and um , they closed the beginning . The beginning went through a neighborhood and the people didn't like people riding their bikes , riding through their neighborhood , yeah , on the road , and so it got kind of cut off so nobody rides it .
The Guru (Dane)But I remember coming cruising down there and almost just broadsiding a cow right in the side , and it was at night . So Don's a good guy , he's also a teammate , so you've got Justin and Don . Right , there are teammates and they've been downhill racing .
Magellan (Josh)Right on , they're good riders . Yeah , so a lot of cows here . Let's see if we can get to something else . All right , so here's Oscar Olmeda .
Wildlife Encounters and Javelina Run-In
Magellan (Josh)Almost 20 years ago , my brother-in-law and I came across a family of javelinas .
The Guru (Dane)Oh God .
Magellan (Josh)They look like pigs , but they're actually like rodents . Yeah , they're . They have tusks . Yeah , they smell really bad . Two parents and a baby javelina and a javelina spelled with a j , by the way yep , just casually walking along the trail , I thought it would be hilarious to chase after them . Bad idea , oscar omeda , and they started running on the trail trying to get away . But then papa javelina was like now I'm done with this turned around , charged at us , showing off his tusks and making a whole lot of noise . I slammed on my brakes and jumped off my bike so fast , hoping my bike would protect me from the angry animal .
The Guru (Dane)Oh yeah , yeah , they are no joke . You do not want to mess with the Javelina .
Magellan (Josh)So that's when you learn the hard way to respect wildlife . If you're getting anything out of this podcast , respect the wildlife , yeah yeah , they , they , uh , they will protect themselves .
The Guru (Dane)You don't want to mess with a javelina and you don't want to mess with the jesus nobody nobody messes with the jesus .
Magellan (Josh)That's from uh , what is that movie ? The bowling movie ?
The Guru (Dane)it's the oh . Don't roll on the sabbath . Oh why ? Why the dude ? Yeah , why are we the dude ? Oh my god , why ?
Magellan (Josh)caucasians man . A caucasian ? No , it's not , cautious , that's what he drinks . Is the Caucasians White Russians ? The dude abides yes . What movie is that ?
The Guru (Dane)We know everything except the name .
Magellan (Josh)What is going on ? It'll come back to us , it's not fear and loathing in Las Vegas , but it's something like that , Anyways that is so bad , so it'll come . Uh , carolyn sizer here . Yes , I just put this in because I wanted people to know that here in the desert we have these cholla cactus which kind of look like like big round or oval shaped leaves with big , big like needles sticking out of it yeah , they look like brush , like I always think of .
The Guru (Dane)My wife uses a hairbrush like a hair , like a giant hairbrush , like that shape and the cows eat them .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , and they often have those things stuck in there , they're all spines , you know , so cactus that they eat .
The Guru (Dane)So yeah , so caroline was talking about .
Magellan (Josh)She saw one with cholla all over its face yeah , cholla is a different kind of cactus , the worst kind yeah , the jump , jumping cactus , jumping cactus yeah , they actually jump out , or it feels like they jump out , yeah well , abe abe gold , he was a grand mesa , colorado grand mesa .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , most mosquitoes I've experienced in the West , around 100 degrees Pronghorn , oh , most , what did I say ? Mosquitoes .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , so he jumps from mosquitoes and goes to pronghorn antelope .
The Guru (Dane)I thought we were going to hear about giant mosquitoes . I got really excited because I'm from Wisconsin .
Magellan (Josh)In New Mexico , he said he was surrounded 180 degrees by pronghorn antelopes . Oh , of new mexico , he said he was surrounded 180 degrees by pronghorn antelopes .
The Guru (Dane)Oh , wow , 60 , wow , of course his camera was stolen just four weeks prior , so he couldn't take pictures . No pictures , it didn't happen . Yeah , no proof all right , man .
Magellan (Josh)Sorry , we're moving on to the next category let's see the next one .
The Guru (Dane)Uh , smaller mammals which crack me up . Smaller mammals , I didn't know , I didn't I just this is everything .
Magellan (Josh)There's like littler than a cow and not a reptile or a big cat . It's like cats and dogs . I got my and we're on the second to last category . We got small mammals and then mythical creatures oh yeah , but our small mammal here . Here's my joke . You ready ? Okay , Go for it . So , so I included . Kangaroos are even mammals , so small animals . Yeah , anyways , how does a kangaroo pick his favorite sports team ? How does a kangaroo pick his favorite sports team ? I don't know , he just jumps on the bang wagon .
The Guru (Dane)Get it Cause kangaroos jump Cause they jump . I was thinking Joey . No , I was thinking boxing .
Magellan (Josh)No jumping .
The Guru (Dane)That was pretty , joey .
Magellan (Josh)No , I was thinking boxing , no jumping , that was pretty obvious . Jumping , kangaroos Jumping kangaroos .
The Guru (Dane)All right , what's our first one here ? Dave Schlegel . So , he's been on . No , you haven't had him on .
Magellan (Josh)I haven't , I don't , we haven't had Dave on , but I met Dave for the first time a couple of weeks ago down at Mount Graham when I was working with sdmb good
Unusual Wildlife Encounters
Magellan (Josh)guy .
The Guru (Dane)Uh , does a lot with sdmb and our mountain bike rides uh , good , good rider yes , it seemed like I spent .
Magellan (Josh)I spent the day with him and a bunch of people and he seemed like a super cool guy he almost hit five skunks .
The Guru (Dane)Five , that sounds awful , oh my god . And uh , he credits his brakes from keeping him from hitting them . So they must be shimano , uh no well , they're definitely not .
Magellan (Josh)They probably are . They definitely aren't for him yeah okay . So this guy , russell van liuan , and he ran over a wallaby oh wow , now so is a wallaby like a I . I didn't get a chance .
The Guru (Dane)I thought a wallaby and a kangaroo were the same I don't know .
Magellan (Josh)But he says I and I had a kangaroo jump across my handlebars wow , so maybe one's bigger than the other .
The Guru (Dane)I don't know . I don't know what a wallaby I'm gonna have to google that I don't know where this place is . That aric jack uh , eric , eric , eric jack in texoma .
Magellan (Josh)What is ?
The Guru (Dane)texoma , middle of nowhere . It says right here 60 miles in the middle of nowhere . Okay , I wondered what was 60 miles in the middle of nowhere ? Okay , I wondered what was 60 miles in the middle of nowhere Texoma . Yeah , so an armadillo . I would like to see an armadillo .
Magellan (Josh)Don't they carry leprosy ? Oh really , someone told me that you can get leprosy from armadillos Cereal . Yeah , ah , I never heard that . Said it , reared up and and scolded me for being out there . Oh man , I would have kicked it For at least 20 seconds you know they get in the balls and I want to kick one .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , so probably not the nicest thing to do .
Magellan (Josh)I didn't include . There was a lot of dog comments . I didn't include the dog comments .
The Guru (Dane)Lots yeah .
Magellan (Josh)There's always yeah if you're riding through neighborhoods or whatever , but crazy-ass pit bull off the leash chased me down trail from yetman to the resort .
The Guru (Dane)Oh wow , said he got a pr . Yeah , motivation , that's awesome . All right , this one's crazy , go ahead . Uh , jay catlow , uh see 200 yards behind a rider and a low slung trike , is that a like , a like , a recumbent ?
The Guru (Dane)yeah , recumbent trike when out of the rito a coyote popped up and started chasing that rider . Oh God , because he's already halfway down to the ground . Yep , I went into my version of overdrive and about 30 seconds before the coyote caught up to that rider , I was about 15 seconds behind the coyote and yelled as loud as I could . Coyote looked back , saw me , dove back into the wash and the rider never knew what happened . Wow , that guy doesn't even know how lucky he was to have Jay Catlow behind him . So , wow , I've never seen coyotes go— After people , after people .
Magellan (Josh)They usually— they're usually pretty skittish . They're trying to get away from you .
The Guru (Dane)But if you know a recumbent bike , you're laying . It's like you're laying on the ground and I imagine they are just trying to figure out what it is and it's running yeah , so maybe it's , maybe it's lunch .
Magellan (Josh)All right , we'll skip over the uh multiple ones and go on to the mythical creatures okay , I got , I got my joke you right , this is , this is my favorite , okay my favorite joke of the day . Okay , what do they call bigfoot in europe ? Uh , big meter yes , you got it first time ever that someone's got one of the pot , one of the jokes on the podcast big meter , but it's not a meter right .
The Guru (Dane)A meter is three feet whatever dude stop getting all technical .
Magellan (Josh)You got it , just revel . Okay . This is where it gets kind of crazy and this is where I put everything . Okay , there's a couple people that like claim to be really serious about what they see here and there's a couple people that are definitely poking fun . I have not read these , okay . So first one is from from rick steffi , okay , and he says he was riding near mount fuji and there he was fucking godzilla . Needless to say , I cut my ride short so I had to ask him a question . I said was Mothra there ? And he said I scanned the horizon as I beat my hasty retreat , but luckily Mothra was a no-show . Nice , or that aggravating Yoko wannabe that seems to call Mothra . I don't know that one . I don't even understand that at all .
The Guru (Dane)Okay , so I got a question for you , godzilla . Yeah , good guy or bad guy ? I ?
Magellan (Josh)have no idea .
The Guru (Dane)Do you watch any of them ? No , oh , turner's obsessed with them right now .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , is that the good , with my boys Like him .
The Guru (Dane)I like him , so there's a whole new series out now .
Magellan (Josh)That's kind of have this I think I saw that King Kong versus Godzilla or whatever , and then there's a bunch of them .
The Guru (Dane)There's even a show called Monarch . But there's this organization , monarch , in this storyline . Anyway , it's . You know , it's always this thing he destroys cities , but he's protecting from other monsters .
Magellan (Josh)So is he a good guy or a bad guy ? He's just like the state not the state , but maybe like Homer Simpson or something just clumsy and he's kind of just knocking down buildings because he's so big , but he's really there to help everybody .
The Guru (Dane)I think the theory is that he's like the alpha and he just takes out the other monsters , but somehow he's trying to protect people , even though he's stepping on them and eating them .
Magellan (Josh)God's zero , all right , eric Evans trying to protect people , even though he's stepping on them and eating them . God's zero . God's zero , okay .
The Guru (Dane)All right , eric Evans .
Magellan (Josh)All right , so this guy , he he's claiming to be like honest about this , but go ahead , go ahead .
The Guru (Dane)You know what , though ? I mean ? People have seen weird stuff . People see new stuff all the time . They just discovered a new fish , I'm sure every day . Okay , there's probably another new fish that they found , don't know . So um was in northern michigan riding at dusk and saw what the f ? I stopped riding trails for 10 years .
Magellan (Josh)Be careful out there , so he included a picture which I didn't put here no way .
The Guru (Dane)The picture was bigfoot no , okay , but he just , you know , grabbed it off the internet . It's not like his picture yeah , I'm pretty sure okay , from the internet .
Magellan (Josh)All right , so I said shut the front door . Are you messing with us ? He said I wish I was . Wow , what do you guys think ? You think Eric Evans is telling us the truth here . Did you really see Bigfoot ? I ?
The Guru (Dane)you know , I did , I tell you my alien story . No , I got one too Go ahead . So I was sitting at uh , uh , we were going to go ride at night and , um , we were getting our bikes ready . We're don't have our lights yet and we're getting ready and it's dark and this light in the sky just turns on . This is over reddington and I think I have said this on the on the thing , light turns on . It's a podcast .
Magellan (Josh)Uh , yeah , sorry , uh the thing , the stuff where we talk the stuff , the thing that place where you make me talk into a microphone I gotta keep my head still .
The Guru (Dane)But we're in Reddington . I see this light just turn on in the middle of the sky and just hover there and not move and it just freaked me out and my buddy and I were freaked out . We canceled our ride , we got back in our car and we just kind of freaked out . Come to find out it's an airplane , it's the flight path coming into .
Magellan (Josh)Davis .
The Guru (Dane)And right over the hill , there is where they turn their landing lights on .
Magellan (Josh)And cause they were coming straight at us .
The Guru (Dane)We could not tell that it was getting closer , we just thought it was hovering . So so , eric , you know , whatever he saw , could have been could totally believe what he saw , and who knows what it is .
Magellan (Josh)Could have been real . I'm going to tell you my alien story off the air so that I can keep my clearance . All right , let's go into Ivan Alvarez .
The Guru (Dane)All right . One time I saw El Chupacabra over at Pistol Hill on a night ride . I totally believe that .
Magellan (Josh)What is El Chupacabra ? Because this is a Mexican folklore thing . So , folks that don't live in the desert southwest probably don't know what El Chupacabra is ?
The Guru (Dane)I don't honestly know , but they say it's like a blood sucking , it's like it's like a text goats and sucks their blood .
Magellan (Josh)It's like a vampire animal that attack , like a vampire evil animal that attacks goats , so I have seen pictures of these weird things and people claim are the Chupacabra ?
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , exactly here in Tucson , and I think what they are , at least the ones that I've seen are um coyotes with mange , oh yeah , where they've lost a bunch of their hair , yeah , and they really look weird and that totally could look like and their teeth are all messed up yeah , yeah , and they're just like they've got mange and stuff so and and they're just uneven and just really weird looking .
Magellan (Josh)So we had an un like fathomable amount of people with that had seen the next creature oh god , what did I ? Only included one . Okay , scott tanny says he was flying down this trail with very tall grass , came around the bend and almost creamed a karen oh yeah fortunately I was paying attention and stopped about six feet in front of this horrifying creature . It wasn't paying attention due to her earbuds . It hissed at me but didn't strike and I was able to get away nice nice unscathed , don't be a karen , don't be a karen I thought he was talking about the actual karens .
The Guru (Dane)You know the piles of rocks . No , it's because every time I see those I go hey , karen , this is .
Magellan (Josh)This is like an angry , an angry old woman that doesn't like what you're doing . Oh yeah , slow down .
The Guru (Dane)Have you ever crept by some hikers and had them just like shouting at you slow down . And you're going like two miles an hour , not even like one mile an hour total control , and they're like slow down , you're gonna kill somebody so well , hey , dual use trails , guys , we gotta respect everybody , be nice , just don't be , don't be a jerk , just be nice on the trail .
Magellan (Josh)Yep , be nice , be cool be cool now we got two more here okay , tux and rider , uh so you think that's really his name no probably not I'm gonna say no , maybe I I know who this is , but I can't you can't say it .
The Guru (Dane)I well , I can't picture him right now , okay , so they came because you get those crazy wild animals . Yeah , you get those Facebook names and then you get their real name .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , like Lois . By the way , lois isn't a real name .
The Guru (Dane)No , it's , it's Kathy Catherine .
Magellan (Josh)Catherine , yes , yes .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah .
Magellan (Josh)Lois is her horse's name . It was she introduced herself to us . She's like well , most people call me Lois , but my real name is Catherine , yeah .
The Guru (Dane)Yeah , it cracks me up because I called her that .
Magellan (Josh)She's a super cool chick man .
The Guru (Dane)He met up with crazy wild animals called themselves Old Pueblo Mountain Mike .
Magellan (Josh)Because he's traumatized for life .
The Guru (Dane)Yep , totally , yep . Yeah , those crazy animals will change your life , that's for sure .
Magellan (Josh)And the final one , and my favorite one , from James Van Vorst . Yes , he was in a bar , yep , in Big .
The Guru (Dane)Sky Montana Yep , and he was stalked by a cougar , stalked by a cougar .
Magellan (Josh)So I asked him did it get you ? And he said I don't remember .
The Guru (Dane)Oh , that's good . Do you know what James's nickname is ? No , I don't .
Magellan (Josh)Short Bus James . Short Bus James nickname is no , I don't . Short bus james , short bus james . All right , thanks . Short bus james , yep , all right , so
Mountain Bike Community and Wildlife
Magellan (Josh)that's our . That's our listener inputted uh and fan inputted uh content responding to our question of their craziest animal uh adventures . If you have others , let us know . Um , I want to remind everyone in the last podcast that we issued a challenge and that challenge was to bring a new person into the mountain bike community , to bring a new rider . I'd like to do , maybe in a future episode , a little profile about like how they could do that , like what's the right size extra bike to have and what kind of bike should you consider and what are the best budget bikes . Maybe we can help give some guides for that . Maybe we'll talk about that in the future . Let us know uh through our fan mail if you're interested and get that link in our show notes . There , dane , you got any final thoughts for our listeners , buddy ?
The Guru (Dane)Uh , no , uh , you know we talked a lot about animals and being and we were joking around a lot , but you do need to be careful . Uh , you want to be careful not messing with them , not messing with their habitats . Uh , ride , you know , as in coexist , as much as possible . You know I talked about , you know , running over snakes and I was joking around , but I am , you know , I want you to be careful . You inform me that that . Oh , really , okay , yeah , so there's the one . And then , um , we didn't talk about something else that I think everybody should know .
Magellan (Josh)What's that ?
The Guru (Dane)When you night ride in the desert , you will see your lights reflected by all the spider eyes .
Magellan (Josh)Yeah , spider eyes all over the ground .
The Guru (Dane)So that glittery ground that you think is just broken glass or something ? No-transcript .
