Unveiling the Spiritual Echoes of Celestial Events and Personal Transformation with Siris Rivas-Verdejo

Tapping into the sensitivity cultivated from growing up amidst familial challenges, Blaire Stanislao and Siris Raquel Rivas-Verdejo examine how empathy can be a guiding light in the darkness of addiction, unraveling the threads of our past to pave way for healing. We recognize the transformative power of embracing rest, the feminine energy that fuels creativity, and the cathartic revelations unearthed from confronting childhood trauma. We look at dreams as a focal point for introspection, offering profound insights into our subconscious. 

Most importantly, we discuss the art of engaging with the world in a manner that aligns with our reshaped priorities. Join us on this expedition of self-discovery and uncover the profound impact cosmic events and personal histories have on our spiritual evolution.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, this is Blair Stanislao with the Happy Lion Center. Welcome to our podcast, mystical and Infamous, where we have playful and easy conversations about anything mystical, getting to the heart of all things, strange and weird. Join us in a bit of magical tomfoolery, spreading the alchemy of love and light. And now we invite you to enjoy the show. So we're just recording this on the eclipse of April 8th just to see how it kind of pans out. We're just talking about some similar things that we've experienced the last month or two. So I definitely feel like the.

Speaker 1: 0:36

I think a lot of people are feeling the energy shifts like, even though they're not really aware of it. I think people, things like that happen, and a lot of times, if you're aware that you can pay attention to the sky, then people will acknowledge and say, hey, what's going on in the sky right now? Because it's really weird. One of those things was actually when I was a teacher. There were times that we would all be teaching, going about business, and if it was Friday the 13th, as weird as that is that, if it was Friday the 13th, as weird as that is. That's a subconscious thing too, I'm sure, but really on those days, especially if it was in October. The kids would just be like bonkers, like not paying attention, not doing like they're supposed to do on a regular basis, that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2: 1:21

And so we definitely as teachers notice that, but I think it is them picking up on everyone's projections about that, the significance of that day, like right.

Speaker 1: 1:29

I don't even think it really matters. It's yeah, exactly yeah. I think it's happening now too, with the eclipse too, cause I don't know about you, but I'm seeing a lot of stuff put out there. A lot of it, on some level, is fear-based, or it feels like it's fear-based, and it's crazy that I mean I, I am an astrologer, I do astrology and I'm like I don't even want to go there I mean, I kind of know what.

Speaker 1: 1:51

I know what an eclipse is about, I know what, how the energy, energy is going to shift. But I'm not.

Speaker 2: 1:56

What does astrology say about that? I'm curious because I haven't. I haven't studied astrology. I've benefited from readings and things like that.

Speaker 1: 2:04

I'm not at all versed in that to that level, so I won't get like super detailed into it, but basically the the main thing is you don't want to make any real big, heavy decisions at this time.

Speaker 1: 2:15

You want to make sure that you kind of just like, if there's a, if a mercury retrograde affects you in a certain way, which it affects everybody, but a lot of people like to make comments about those things like, oh, the computer's not working, Mercury's retrograde, you know like, whatever, If that's what happens for you during that time, then you just chill out. You're like you know what, it's just time to take a break, which is kind of like taking a clue. You know a cue from the universe to same thing. You just, with an eclipse, it's shifted into a new, you know like shifted into a brand new position. But it's like things are hidden from you. So you want to kind of you still want to be aware of what's going on, but you don't want to make any drastic big changes because it may be that you know, six months down the line you don't really want that to be anymore, Whereas you couldn't see it at that time.

Speaker 2: 3:04

I'm so grateful I asked and we're having this conversation because it's really validating. Just yesterday I had a session from a friend that lives in Puerto Vallarta and it was a symphony of possibility session, which is an access consciousness tool, and we were swapping. So I gave her a session, she gave me a session, and one of the things that I asked for from the session is to get clear on my energetic priorities, moving forward and having the words for then. One of the words or phrases that came up for me and I'm literally looking at it, I was looking at it before our talk right now I have it right here in a little post-it is illuminated paths was one of the things that is a priority.

Speaker 2: 3:59

Moving forward and recognizing that, as I'm illuminating my path, given who I am, it often facilitates other people to be clear on their path and it allows me to know when it's time and how to illuminate people's paths with them. And so I was like, oh, because I was like why is it so much harder than usual right now for me to get this information, like what's going on? And then I have a couple of series and classes that I'm trying to create and the dates keep moving around and it's just like, not really quite like, oh go like that's what I'm real clear to not create it unless it's like, yeah, I'm really excited about it.

Speaker 2: 4:37

And also, until the class is saying, okay, now I'd like to manifest it, let's be instituted into the world and show up in the world. And so you saying that I was like, oh, okay, and so I never thought of it with eclipse, because I don't think I had that in other eclipses, like the sense of like things being quite this hidden, and it definitely got illuminated that yes, let's pause. Yes, wait, I took a nap before we started recording today. Like I was like 15 minutes, I was like let me set up my light, my mics, okay, but I was resting, um, so thank you for for that piece and it really it really connects a lot to what, um, we had talked about potentially discussing today around addiction and how, how families deal with that, how I've dealt with that, because that's something that I could recognize at an early age, that I didn't know I was doing it until like my 20s or 30s.

Speaker 2: 5:34

I could see when things were hidden and when they weren't. I could see when I was interacting with my uncle like who's truly him, or like all the stuff was in the way because of entities or these other energies of, of his addiction of. So I was like am I really interacting with you, tio, or am I? What's this? And I would? I would kind of move through those other veils because I wanted to hang out with my Tio, I wanted to interact with him, and so I was like this is what you do, right, you go and you uncover, and you uncover until you find the person in their true light, not knowing at the time that I was probably taking in entities and unconsciously like eating them up or I don't know what I was taking them in, and then they were starting to affect my life.

Speaker 2: 6:23

But all I wanted was to connect. That was this innocent, childlike thing. All I wanted was to connect. That was this innocent, childlike thing. Was I just want to be with my family right now? And so, whatever this is in the way blah, let's just go through the Well, that's a clarity.

Speaker 1: 6:34

So I don't know how old you were, but what you're talking about there. Okay, I want to say one other thing before we skip past that, and we don't have to talk long on it, but we just I think we're actually in the new moon right now too. So that's that's one thing that's different about this eclipse versus other eclipses. So where we have a new moon, there's this eclipse. It's actually in uh, I do vedic astrology, so it's. It's a nakshatra, which just means a smaller section, right, and it's called rivati and it is one of the most spiritual nakshatras possible. It's in pisces, so you're gonna have that. Go there. And then the fact that you know, because it's in pisces, that's the original 12th house. That's the hidden stuff that you're talking about and that's the stuff that that is hidden from us. It is not stuff that we hide, like we hide taxes and sex and all that kind of stuff. That's eighth house stuff. But pisces is the stuff that we hide, like we hide taxes and sex and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2: 7:26

That's eighth house stuff, but Pisces is the stuff that really Do we oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Yeah, as a society you know humans in general they do but but this is really the actual, real veil between the 3D world and the dream world or the spirit world or whatever you want to call it, and so it really is very right for that and it's beautiful. I'm so glad you're talking about this because that is a perfect description. I heard I was listening to something from Bashar and he's got stuff everywhere. You know who Bashar is.

Speaker 2: 7:56

The name is clicking my brain but I'm not the person.

Speaker 1: 8:05

He's an entity that is channeled through somebody named Daryl Anka I think I would say Anka but anyways, he's been doing it for like 50 years and he has a lot of really profound things to say and he says them over and over and he answers, he entertains the questions with people and so forth, and he was actually addressing and I'm actually taking a channeling class too, so I'm glad this all came up All synchronistic. Yeah, people are. They get concerned about this idea of lower energies or, you know, negative entities and things like that. And the way that Bashar described it was for you to have an interaction with a lower vibration, something. Essentially, you're either raising or lowering your vibration to meet that energy, wherever it is. So his stance on it is that you can't. If you keep your vibration high, those energies aren't going to come in, like they're just not going to resonate with you. It's kind of like I don't know for them or something. Well, it's almost. I know this is going to sound strange, but it's almost like you don't know for them or something. Well, it's almost. I know this is gonna sound strange, but it's almost like you don't really exist, even on the same plane, like he described at one time.

Speaker 1: 9:10

Talking about the multi-dimensionality. Okay, like are we have a lot of people say 5d, whatever d's. They are right. Like all the different dimensions, we're going higher. He described it like this we're all existing, it may be in different dimensions at the same time, and we actually interact with each other. So we kind of like we lower our vibration to deal with this one person, then we raise our vibration, go with this person, and then we raise our vibration higher when we're by ourselves and connecting to spirit, right. So but in between those dimensions it's like a glass wall. You can see them, you can interact with them, but whether you choose to put your energy towards that, that's your choice. So you're in total control over that.

Speaker 2: 9:50

But I it makes me think of of my journey and a lot of people's journey that I'm thinking of of, like how you deal with compliments and also how you deal with insults, yeah, yeah. So like, for a long time I couldn't really truly receive compliments. I wasn't really to raise my vibration up to have that level of receiving, to expand and be like oh, thank you so much. I'd literally like look at my body language, my arms are out, open, body right. I would instead be like oh, that's an old shirt, it's fine, you know.

Speaker 2: 10:25

Like be like, oh, that's an old shirt, it's fine, you know, like it's oh, that's this old thing, or like, or I would say, oh, thank you. But it would just be like I was. I was kind of clutched, like, hunched over, not really fully taking it in and not really believing it. Well, on the other side, I would totally buy insults if someone insulted me. If I've not, I either would buy it or I would react and be really and be really upset. And now it's the opposite. People you know say, oh, what a lovely shirt. Or oh, I really liked this podcast that you were in, or whatever it is. And and I'm like, oh, thank you so much, I'm so glad that contributed to you. Or I'm, oh, thank you, would you like to know where I got that? I've, I've had this for so many years and I love it. It's like my go-to outfit for when I travel or whatever it is. So I received the compliments and now the insults.

Speaker 2: 11:11

Or when somebody says something, it's like, oh well, that's interesting. And then I just asked questions and said like, is that true? And most of the time it's not, but sometimes it is like there's. I had somebody interview me um for a possible job position working with their clinic a couple weeks ago and one of the things they asked me that I loved was what was the last blind spot? Somebody illuminated for you that you didn't know about, that you had to actually like acknowledge and it was true. Um, and it took me a minute and I was able to answer, but I was like oh, oh, that's what. That's that question thing. Instead of just being reaction like oh, that's horrible, or like really hurt, or angry, I'm like oh, is there a truth to that? Is yes or no? And if it's not, okay, next move on. And I don't have the same emotional reaction like I used to. And if it, if it's not true, it's just, it's just, it's just a very different response like I just just there's. There's more of a pause for both, because even compliments can sometimes have like that slime.

Speaker 2: 12:13

You're in the South, yes, definitely. Yes, well, there's that, yes, but even even in when I was living in the Midwest, when I was living in Chicago, which is over 30 years there, the Midwest, when I was living in Chicago, which is over 30 years there there's this piece of people complimenting you as they're using what they admire or what they're complimenting to put themselves down, and then that's not fun. You're so out there, you're doing so many things, you know it's so impressive, and so they're complimenting you. But you can see that they're saying and that of course you can do it, and I can't like it's. The subtext doesn't feel so fun and you can pick up on that when someone really compliments you, like this truly lovely acknowledgement versus one that is they're using to flagellate themselves and it's like ah yeah, I think all cultures do that.

Speaker 1: 12:59

I think we don't even reckon I mean, that's an example of a cultural, like subconscious, like almost like there's an agreement like this is how we behave. So sometimes it's like, okay, this is the nice thing to do. But I know exactly what you're talking about and it is to me it is a very, I would say, weird. Or now I could say it's, it really just doesn't align with me. Um, yeah, yeah, I don't know, that's that's uh, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna leave that at that. But that's a really good description of like dropping, turning, kind of turning the energy off, and it's not like you cause energy flows all the time, right, so it's not like you're turning it off and it just like stops where you are Right, you have to redirect that energy somewhere else. And so I know in some hypnosis sessions that I was in, it became very, very clear else. And so I know in some hypnosis sessions that I was in, it became very, very clear my instructions were to.

Speaker 1: 13:59

Because there's that idea and it's true of just like you're using the compliment, you want something that you don't have. If you're focusing on this thing that you don't have, you could say that you're spending all your energy on what you want, like with manifestation. I want, let's say I want a car. I want to manifest this car. It's going to look like these things. But if you're spending any energy thinking about how you don't have that car, then you're also putting energy towards not having that car, if that makes sense. But you're not really truly directing your energy to this other way of doing it. But you're not really truly directing your energy to this other way of doing it. It's almost like you have to just let it dissolve or, in a sense, softly disappear by getting distracted, like a child does. You know they don't want to do something and they just change their focus to something else. I mean they're like the mastermind. I mean we're all manifesting, but kids are really great at it.

Speaker 2: 14:48

Oh, they really are. That's part of why I love working with them and that's what I was doing as a kid I was. I was just going through these things and and in in a lot of ways, it was really beautiful and it's something that that, when I really look at who I really am, that hasn't changed, that is just there, for that's truly my essence. It's that it's this seeking out of connection and connecting to bodies and knowing bodies and knowing when they're well and when they're not well, knowing when they're happy and joyful and when they're sad and having a hard time and upset and and so that started at a really young age, and so that's one of the things that I'm actually grateful for. For all the addiction that is in my family before, like it helped I chose that family to really like prime and sharpen those skills. It had a lot of practice.

Speaker 1: 15:42

Yeah, you know, I find it really interesting because you can you know, you can see that kind of stuff in astrology and I always, like, really wonder about that, because Pisces is a house.

Speaker 1: 15:50

It's not the only indicator, but Pisces is a house that can oftentimes indicate addiction or drug abuse or because they're going to that other place and a lot of the Pisces energy is going to that other place.

Speaker 1: 16:02

So if you've got stuff in there, that's kind of activated, which means if you've got stuff in Pisces or you've got stuff in the 12th house, you're definitely going to have that vibe Like you're just going to have something about it. Now, whether that turns into actual addiction is, you know, there's all different kinds of factors, but I really like, because what you're describing is a very Piscean kind of way, that Zodiac sign, that that energy is about being aware of the spirit world and we are way more spiritual than we are physical. And I know exactly what we're talking about in terms of like okay, you know, it's almost like they're just acting this way, but that's not who they are. You know and like okay, I know who you really are, I can see who you really are, which is not this physical body, which is not this addiction, you know which is not this ex-behavior veil and stuff. Yeah, yeah, and that is a very 12th house thing, so I'm not surprised.

Speaker 2: 16:56

And then fast forward. You know, hindsight is 2020. I mean, literally, I talk about this, but I it, it really is true, and I started writing, like the bio on my website and things like that is is a full acknowledgement of that little, because there's so many things she was aware of. So then fast forward later, not really fully recognizing that I was doing, that I become what? A speech language pathologist, a learning behavioral specialist. I was starting to study how behaviors communication and it's not really the person necessarily, it's just behavior, it's just an action in that moment. And that's what I was doing at five, at eight, at ten, like it was all there yeah, well, and and two, that's also on some level.

Speaker 1: 17:40

What you're talking about is it's kind of it's like a spiritual gift. You know we come here and we have as humans, we do have spiritual gifts. You know we're intuitive or we're psychic or you know, like projection is another one. That's one for healers. Hypnotists are really good at that and so you kind of come here and you have that gift. Well, children are completely open, so they move fluidly between the spirit world and the physical world, so they can just okay, well, I got this thing. Well, now I know, you know, this is actually who my uncle is for these 15 minutes I get to see, but if we see him in the afternoon he's not really like that and I don't you know. You kind of know, naturally, like, let's just I'm not going to put my energy towards that.

Speaker 2: 18:21

Yeah, I'm not going to play with them at that point. We'll play next day, it's fine.

Speaker 1: 18:25

So what has been your um? I'm interested to hear because my father was also an alcoholic. My grandmother was an alcoholic Um, and I thought that I had. I don't know if they say I had thought I had dealt with it, but, um, I had an interaction after my my first husband died, where, um, somebody was with me. It was somebody that I knew he had hired this guy and I knew that this guy had drug issues.

Speaker 1: 18:49

But I hadn't really been around the guy. I didn't really have a choice. He was the help I had. So he came with me and he got a beer at dinner and, like I had a hard time getting him to leave. So I called my friend and I'm like, look, your friend that is supposed to be here is helping me.

Speaker 1: 19:07

And now I've got two vehicles down here in this city and we've got to drive 50 minutes. He's got to drive one of these things and I'm really upset because it was a very tumultuous time for me. It was really high stress and luckily he got him to get out of that and go ahead and go on home. But I did notice like my reaction to that was not calm, we'll put it that way Like I, it was like a guttural. I now know that this is, that was a trauma, that was a trigger for my trauma that I really hadn't dealt with and it really did rely around alcoholics and dealing with an alcoholic and what do you do that kind of? You know that kind of stuff. So I'm curious to know, like, what was more, maybe more specifics about what was your experience and what kind of did you get out of that? To be more specifics about what was your experience and what kind of did you?

Speaker 2: 19:51

get out of that. I was really fortunate where it was very much in the periphery. My mom, her dad was an alcoholic and then all of my, her four brothers, have a different relationship to alcohol than she ever did. She was always like the second mom to them growing up. She was the oldest and then there's the four brothers after her and but they all were seeing him do this. That was their model for masculinity.

Speaker 2: 20:17

In in Puerto Rico, and to this day, it's very common for people to be drinking while driving, like they have a can of beer while they're driving picking you to and from the airport. It's not unheard of to do that. So I could see it and I would. Just it was I was. I was code switching in every area of my life. I was code switching within my own family. So I would switch and I was like, oh, these are the rules of our immediate family, with my mom and my dad who didn't really drink and, no, never drunk until their forties. Funny enough, they both called me the first time they were drunk to tell me they were drunk, or at least to tell me I think I'm drunk. What are the signs? We're so innocent. Because they had let themselves go there. Because they saw how prevalent this was in their household, they really avoided it. They still drank wine and beer, but they never did it to excess at all and still don't Both of them do.

Speaker 2: 21:10

So it was very, I felt, very protected, while still being very aware that my extended family was dealing with some very extreme, not just issues with their own personal life, but also how it affected their relationships. Like, two of my uncles have lost their licenses or driver's licenses because of it. One was not only addicted to alcohol but also to drugs, was an in and out of rehab. They've been in and out of jail. How my grandmother enabled it and responded to it was really interesting. So just seeing all this with curiosity and with just being like, oh, this is entrenched, like it wasn't just my uncle, my mom's generation and then my grandfather's, it's been multi. When you started to hear in the other stories, it's like, oh, it's this, is this. It's like, but you see the whole lineup like an avatar where you see all of the bodies that he'd had before. You know the, the, the avatar, last airbender, like you see it in the. I'm thinking of the cartoon one. I haven't seen the live action one yet. I'm waiting. It's a little treat. It's a little treat for me to watch it.

Speaker 2: 22:19

But that's one of the things I think of when it comes to ancestral things is like you is like how many of you were your very own ancestors that are rippling this in forward? And also, yes, how are you impacted by all these other generations that were doing very similar patterns, that didn't have other ways of dealing with, with the grief, with the stress, with the on and off, unemployment, with you know all these? There's just, there's no therapy. The bar was the therapy and when my little uncles, when they were kids, they would be the to for them to find their dad, it was. They had to go to the bar to find them.

Speaker 2: 22:54

So they were seeing all these men. This is how you connect, this is how you camaraderie and and and companionship is. You drink with your buddies, and then they were athletes on top of that, and so it was just a lot of things that were enmeshed in masculinity. That it was interesting because, given all of those narratives and those patterns, I didn't think of the other side of OK, being a woman in this family. How does that impact things? You know the codependency, the people pleasing the, the hiding things, the covering for them to being in control of all the stuff, because you can't count on the men, because they're probably which I assume is something.

Speaker 1: 23:34

those are things you've had to deal with personally. Oh yeah, Like you've had to shift.

Speaker 2: 23:39

And and I did that even though both my parents weren't alcoholics and I wasn't dealing with that on a day-to-day basis like my cousins were who did who? That was their fathers who were the alcoholics. Yeah, my cousins were. Who did who that was their fathers who were the alcoholics. Yeah, it was a very. It really changed the trajectory of our lives. I think that what we were exposed to, the jobs that they had access to, the money they had access to, the possibilities they had access to, and then how it affected their lives, was completely different because of our parents. Choices and or no choices, depending on the situation. Choices and or no choices, depending on the situation. So I so it's interesting that the codependency, the people pleasing the matriarchal systems were still there, even though the addiction piece will showed up differently. And then I, we were so vigilant, and I was so vigilant about alcohol that I got, I was blinded to other addictions.

Speaker 1: 24:30

Oh, yeah, that's what came to mind when you were talking about that. So my so my father died when I was 11. Yes, he was an alcoholic. And then my husband died when my son was seven.

Speaker 1: 24:42

Okay, and I remember within the very first few months I mean, of course it's just a whirlwind of grief and so forth but I remember within the first, definitely within the first six months that my son, he had just gotten to the age where he was actually really reading and then he would just have his nose in a book all the time, and so I would ask him questions sometimes or whatever, and he would use that book as an excuse to not answer. And I don't mean like just every day, I mean like anytime he didn't want to deal with the outside world. We go to the book. Well, he's in a teacher of a family of teachers. So you know, it was hard for me because I was like oh, I have a really hard time, I really want to take that book away from him, but he's definitely using it. It's definitely a coping mechanism, because that's what I did.

Speaker 2: 25:29

Yeah, I've been in books constantly and I recognize that I am dealing with stuff and I'm using it to disassociate. Yep in and there's. And one of the things that I learned from reading oprah and dr bruce perry's book what happened to you, which is also behind me right here over here, yeah, um is I thought all disassociation was bad and there's actually healthy ways of disassociating. And then it's also like being intentional and being aware of when you are doing it and also giving yourself a parameter of how am I going to transition out of it, when I need to go do this thing that needs to be done, or when I need to go have this conversation, or when I need to go pay my bills or get work done, whatever it is conversation, or when I need to go pay my bills or get work done, whatever it is. And that's part of what's going on right now is I just found out yet another family member passed away on Thursday.

Speaker 2: 26:16

That's another thing I didn't think I got to tell you before we started the recording and it was bringing up stuff again. I was like I I I'm riding the wave because it's been like 17 people, and so it was bringing up the, the onslaught ofught of all these other passings, even though this has probably been the longest between passings in years We've had a good five months, five, six months since the last one but it was like literally multiple in a month or one month in between. And so the point that it was it was like don't when the phone rings. That was what I was worried about. I was like who's dead now? Who's in the hospital, what's going on? So this was a little bit different. And yet I recognize that I was. I was going into my books again or taking a nap, not because I was tired physically, but I was emotionally, like preparing, let me cave a little bit, come out and deal with this stuff, whatever that is, what's the next call? What's the next real wake that I got a plan or attend? Okay, got it.

Speaker 2: 27:20

So I get what I was doing, absolutely. I did that my whole childhood.

Speaker 1: 27:24

Yeah, and whatever we learned in childhood, you know that that continues to carry on.

Speaker 2: 27:28

And it's not I mean you know.

Speaker 1: 27:30

Would you consider that, based on your experience, would you consider going into a book a healthy way of disassociating?

Speaker 2: 27:36

The way I'm doing it now. I don't think it always was. I literally was blocking out the world and not wanting to hear my parents argue and they were separated and then they got divorced when I was 11. There was a lot of stuff with bullies that I would just go away and go into my Greek mythology book because I would literally be crying home. I would come home crying every single day seventh grade so like that was the best I did given what I had available to me. Now I can be more intentional and conscious of it and have those.

Speaker 2: 28:09

Okay, I set an alarm when I went and took a nap and dissociated.

Speaker 2: 28:13

Today I was like I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be refreshed and I'd use some other tools, like future pacing, and I was like, okay, I'm going to do that and then I'm going to be feeling better and then when I get up, this is what I'm going to do, instead of trying to force myself and go through the sludge it was.

Speaker 2: 28:27

It would have been so much more effortful, like quicksand or like like literally like mud to get the things done without that now. But the difference was before. Even in my 20s, I would wake up after a full night's sleep and then sleep a whole other 13 hours, I would just crash and I couldn't not do that like it was like hit by a truck level of just unconsciousness around it and literally and figuratively unconsciousness around it, and so now I don't need a whole day, I have other tools and I can see what's going on that you're talking about when you get highly stressed and you go into that disassociation mode it's not even I catch it before it gets high stress, like I catch it.

Speaker 2: 29:10

So then, while before I used to power through and push and push and push and not catch it's not even I catch it before it gets high stress, like I catch it at the whispers. So then, while before I used to power through and push and push and push and not catch it at the whisper. So then my body would be like you're not listening, got it, you're done, you're out, yes, you're out. So, and since I it's like it's not an option and I, I, I refuse to be at that level of unconsciousness I was like, okay, let me catch it when it's whispering to me, let me catch it when my body's telling me, hey, pause right now, hey, you need a break right now. Because if I didn't take that nap today and I had got a full night's sleep, if I didn't take that like 30 minute nap today, who knows how that would have played out a couple of weeks from now.

Speaker 1: 29:48

Yeah. So let me ask this, because we had this in the brief earlier conversation. I kind of wonder how does disassociation based on your experience and your knowledge, how would you say disassociation connects to that idea of shifting the energy somewhere else? Because this thing that you're looking at let's say you're looking at something that's stressing you, that's causing you to want to disassociate. Okay, I'm wondering how the disassociation kind of is that similar to that energy of just withdrawing your energy from that?

Speaker 2: 30:23

Yeah, I don't think it's a withdrawal, I think it's like a brewing. That's how I see it and that's part of what was really helpful with reading the Oprah book is that it compared it to artists. And my dad's an artist, I my, my partner's an artist, like, I'm surrounded by artists, my friends, all of that. So when an artist has all these ideas and they're kind of gathering and gathering, but they're not actively, like you know, interacting with a canvas or with whatever medium they play with, but things are percolating and they're gathering and they just it's in the background a little bit and they might need to just sit and you think that they're not really doing art. But that's also part of it.

Speaker 2: 31:03

Just like we're not, you think you're not living life, you're not doing life at that moment, but it's like you're taking a moment because things are coming to the surface and gathering, and then, as soon as you do and it is time it's a lot easier and things come together faster. So what that? Even just today, that nap, I woke up, I set up for our conversation and I got some ideas. It's like, oh, I'm gonna do this, this and this. Oh, I'm gonna write this down and I got a whole description of the class that was brewing that I was like why is it?

Speaker 2: 31:31

clear on how to talk about this or when is really gonna be the case for it. I have the venue, but it's. These other logistics are aligned, but where? What is the energies of it right now? And it was talking and it was whispering, and it was doing its thing, and then I was able to write that and jot down those key words.

Speaker 2: 31:48

That came because I let myself rest, yeah, but I couldn't have gotten it if my energy was removed from it. I just had to stop trying to control it. Yep, so there's a difference. It's like when you're, when you are having a really yummy conversation with somebody, and it's like bing bong, bing bong back and forth, versus like when you're like I'm're gonna talk about this and this is the itinerary, this is agenda, we're gonna go here and and even if something's wanting to go somewhere else, you don't let it. Yep, it was like that. I had to let go of the reins and be like let's just see what happens here and just let it flow. And so then, because of that, the clarity that I was asking for showed up. So it's not for me a removal of my energy.

Speaker 1: 32:28

Yeah, and I, I, I kind of associated. So I just wrote a brief blog on what's on brief, it's actually kind of long because through this last month I've actually had a realization. So I've had for several months it being told to me in every way possible, you need to go into your feminine, which is essentially what you just described. Okay. So, going into the feminine as being open and receiving information and being okay with and not knowing what's going to happen, that kind of thing. So, but I had this realization about how do these patterns like we were just talking about the ancestral stuff that comes through, how does that actually play out in somebody's life? Okay, and so I wrote a little thing about it to kind of explain what I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 1: 33:10

But actually what you're describing there's another beautiful way of describing it, because you're saying it's sitting in the background brewing, or they're percolating on these ideas, as they're about ready to create them, that's. I would equate that to essentially like an emotion. If they'll say that you're having an emotion that's really uncomfortable and you really want to disassociate, so you either choose drugs or your book or whatever you choose. And just because you don't want to experience that, similar to saying, okay, I want to manifest this thing that I don't have, I don't have this, so I want that, I don't have this, I don't want that. So it's kind of like it is kind of putting it to the side, but it's not allowing it to flow, whereas if it was, if you were truly in the receptive mode, stuff comes in but it also goes out just as easily. So that percolating is very similar to things in our subconscious. So, like we have an emotion or we have a response, and if we acknowledge it, we we allow it to be what it is, it then goes and it's gone.

Speaker 2: 34:11

It doesn't stay, but when we don't, it's stuck you know, and part of it is, it's not always an unpleasant emotion. So, like today, there's a distinction between oh, this is bringing up stuff which was this weekend more, this is bringing up stuff which was this weekend more. This is bringing up stuff about the past, people who've passed than my aunt passed away on Thursday. And so, okay, woo, that's another one. Here we go. Okay, and I did, I did the rest, and I, in the sense of I didn't sleep a lot, but I did a lot of rest. I let myself not do a lot of work this weekend, which is not always the case and I was just like, okay, I'm going to do this. I was in nature, I got my cuddles in with my pup. I was like, all right, we're good. I woke up today ready to go.

Speaker 2: 34:54

I had some early appointment and then what was coming up instead was like it's not the time for me to do anything right now, and one of my other appointments got canceled so I could force it. And but then, as soon as I was doing that, I was like this is like sludge, like I'm literally can't really hold onto thought right now. This is, it's just like I'm grabbing on wisps of. It's just not, there's nothing to grab onto right now. And so there wasn't a negative, unless I judged myself for not being productive or lazy right now. That's what have been a negative that would have come up, that I would not, would maybe avoid. But instead I was just like OK, how about I just took a nap? Because I feel like, for me, that power nap allowed me to not try to force it in control and go into what the addictions that I was addicted to, that I'm still working through is. I'm addicted to control. I'm addicted to creating a lot, to putting a lot of pressure on myself, to being perfect, like there was a lot of that stuff.

Speaker 2: 35:56

And so that's when we were talking about earlier, about when you have so so many other addictions that are so dramatic and loud, like alcoholism at least it certainly was with my family. It was very dramatic, very loud, lots of repercussions. You could see it really clearly. It kind of blinds you to some of these other ones that are so sneaky and so pervasive and so common, to the point that most people are normalizing it that you don't, you don't, you're're not, you're not identifying them until maybe there's your own dramatic yeah around it, which is what happened to me? Yeah, it brewed, it definitely developed and got more and more intense over time until finally it's like, okay, if you don't deal with this, you're really you're gonna die. Okay, got it, but um, I there's so many I think that's the case with a lot of people is that, unless it's drugs or alcohol or sex or something that is, you know, newsworthy, like you know, on the, on the top, where they don't really see it as an addiction.

Speaker 2: 36:57

And one of the things that helped shift that for me was this book called Right Recovery for you by Marilyn Bradford. Have you read it or heard of it before? One of the ahas that she says in there was any addiction, whatever it is, is an addiction to unconsciousness. So you not being aware of something, not being willing to be aware of something, yeah, and as soon as that was the new operational definition, man we're yeah, I was like I'm not willing to be aware of, like I'm not willing to be aware of this, I'm not willing to be aware of this.

Speaker 2: 37:35

Oh shit, I'm a medic too. It's just not like my uncles were and and it allowed me I was already not really judging them as much. I was worried about them, I was worried about my cousins. I was worried about them hurting somebody on the road or things like that. But it allowed me to have so much more compassion and empathy for them, because it wasn't oh, you're an addict. And it was like, over there, you're an addict. It was like, oh, we're addicts, it's just you're different than me.

Speaker 1: 38:03

Yeah Well, I find that really, really beautiful, because the way you're describing it and I actually did touch on in that same blog, so it's kind of funny that you actually said it like that. So this major energy shift that I had in the last month was I went on a trip with my family. We went on a road trip, so we're in a car and we drove long distance. Okay, it was actually a really great trip. We were really blessed to be able to take this trip. Okay, but I'm in the car and the circumstances are such that we've got three teenagers, so one of them was kind of you know, it was kind of been it had been a little bit annoying and was it was it was bothering me. We'll say that, okay, it wasn't really that bad, but being in the car and the fact that a grandmother figure was there reminded me of my childhood, when I went on trips with them in a car and there was somebody that was like that and they were ignored or their behavior was ignored, and it just triggered everything in the world for me from my childhood. Here I'm an adult and a happy marriage with a lovely family, three great kids, and here this is how I'm responding right Like it's exactly what you're talking about. It's like, okay, everybody has their way of reaching that peak, and so that's what it was for me, but it's. I've known this for a really long time, but it doesn't. I don't think it hits home until it really becomes very visible to you. I don't think it hits home until it really becomes very visible to you.

Speaker 1: 39:32

Trauma is defined by the person. It is not defined by a generic term like trauma. You know, ptsd is the only kind of trauma you can have. No, that's not actually true. I mean, it's ridiculous, I think from what the world has taught me, to say I was traumatized as a little girl, going on trips with my family. I went on vacation, I'm enjoying like I'm having a blessed time, right, and here I'm saying I'm traumatized. But if I'm being truthful, I really was. I was absolutely traumatized and it came out when I'm 46.

Speaker 2: 40:01

Well, and how much of that is also? You're someone with the white woman in this world, and so there's like, how dare you with your entitlement of being?

Speaker 2: 40:09

able to go and like, complain about that, and so then they start to invalidate your experiences, which are absolutely true and valid for you, because of this other stuff. That it's like. You know, if you really want to deal with trauma, like the trauma test, let's have a contest, exactly, yeah. Yeah, I don't want to win that contest. Like, let's not like. But just because it could be worse or someone else's experience could have been different in a more dramatic way, does it mean that you weren't traumatized? In that moment like oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 1: 40:40

So I, yeah. I mean you can say that as a healer, you know you work with people. You can say and I think I think pretty much healers when they're, when they're working with the person one-on-one they can say you know, that's your trauma. And a lot of times I'll say that's your trauma. And they look at me like I'm looking at you, like well, that's crazy, that's not trauma. You know that. That little thing, I didn't get the ice cream I wanted, or whatever. But it's true, the trauma is defined by the person who's experiencing it period.

Speaker 2: 41:10

You have to look at it not from you as an adult, but you as that child in that moment. How did you see it? You don't have all these examples of war and all these other traumatic events that other people are experiencing, so you don't. You're not doing the comparison game, it's just you in that moment and how you're feeling and and you felt a certain type of way that that then led to this being like a traumatic event for you. Now is it going to keep traumatizing you? Then you get to decide if that's going to be the case as an adult, but you but to say, oh, just because through the eyes of an adult I wouldn't call that trauma. Now, with all this experience and all these other examples I have, really keeps things hidden from us that we then don't get to address. And then we keep having it come up in these unexpected, blindsided ways. You're like oh, perry, how you are here. You are to wake me up to something else I have to work on. Yay, more soft work.

Speaker 1: 42:06

It's like never ending. Um, so I'm doing, I don't know, I'm doing dream interpretation, okay, and I've come along, actually come a long way since we last chatted. But, um, when I first got my first dream interpreted by Michael Sheridan uh, the questions that he asked me my first response was no, I don't feel like that. No, my parents weren't like that, you know. And then I, it took me about two weeks and then I realized, wait a minute, yes, I do feel like that and yes, that did happen. And it wasn't. It wasn't just that, that was the situation. It was like I never verbalized that feeling, let alone like it. Not only did I not say it, but it didn't even come into my conscious awareness that I could have put words on it.

Speaker 1: 42:50

But that didn't mean, I didn't experience it Exactly, and so it's interesting. You're talking about the like. You know, okay, here's more self-work, but if you're, if you have something that illuminates, like that book right, it was illuminating here's a new way of looking at the world Then you can start to see it. And, as I'm going through this program, one of the things you do is called cutting the ties. Okay, and I've heard about this for a while is basically you cut ties with your parents, meaning whatever issues you had growing up, doesn't matter if they're, you know, like, like, we're talking about that objective description of trauma, doesn't matter about that. It's just how you responded to it.

Speaker 1: 43:30

And you, I kept asking like, well, what is this thing? Cause it's in the future, we're not doing it yet. What is this thing? Am I? Does this? Something's going to be like really painful, like really really hard, like ruined my whole life, you know. And I finally talked to another person who has done it and she essentially said no, really, what it is is, it's an awareness. It's just like you're talking about that book, it's bringing an awareness to hey, there's this feeling that you had that you haven't dealt with and when you're sleeping and you've got no other influence and you're dreaming about this. It means it's impacting your life, you know, and so it's a really it's an interesting way to access that subconscious, to try and figure out what are you working on next.

Speaker 2: 44:05

Yeah, yeah, fair. What are you working on next? Yeah, yeah, that's part of what I love about the dream world and just a lot of those other realms in general, is they can be playgrounds for you to to explore, without necessarily all the pressures of of the living on this planet, and and be like okay, what is the things that are hidden here, that are secret, that are things for me to work on, what are some of the playtime things that I could nurture some more and institute in my life? You know that that encourage and nurture that childish enthusiasm for living, because if you don't have that like, it's like what are you doing here?

Speaker 1: 44:39

like yeah well, yeah it's not, as it's not as much fun, but I think the same, all the stuff that you're articulating, where you just allow you, you recognize that there's like a I mean society wise. We can say what you were describing about work, about the need to push and go and try and create something. Society wise, that's what's accepted, but the better way, really the only way to truly create, is to get into that feminine energy way. The only really the only way to truly create is to get into that feminine energy. So if we're not living like a child any at any point, then we're not in that receptive mode which means our energies are out of balance.

Speaker 2: 45:18

Yeah, yeah, and, and one of the things that I'm grateful for as much as it's been really challenging with all the people passing is it's it's made me very picky about where I actually devote my energy and time to. Yeah, um, it's like if at any moment, somebody else could pass or you know, not waiting for the other shoe to drop, not that kind of a thing, but just like if it really is the last day of my life or the last week, where would I really like to devote my time and energy, like, who do I want to hang out with? What are the projects I want to take on? What legacy do I want to leave? It's?

Speaker 2: 45:51

I was already asking those kinds of questions before the last three years and it just made it so much sharper and clearer in how I'm being guided to really walk that talk, instead of just being like, oh, you're going to just compulsively be creating, possibly be churning out classes and traveling and I do love to travel, but I'm spreading out. The rhythm of it is a lot more paced out instead of, like I was used to travel every month for classes or a work project or something, a convention, whatever it was, and at that time my stamina for it was higher. And now as I'm, I've taken a lot more time and been caving it and been streamlining my business. When the possibility of increasing the pace again has presented itself in the last month I was like I have no desire to build up my stamina for that.

Speaker 1: 46:43

Maybe other types of travel, and even then, that rhythm of every month, I was like no no, my body and I are like no, Well, you don't get recharged because you're always putting that energy out, which is that masculine and you need that.

Speaker 2: 46:59

Well, it wasn't that when I was doing it, then I would get a lot of energy from the travel, from the classes and I could do it again. I just that's just not how I want to create classes anymore, so I do it a lot more paced out and also sometimes the promotion of one class or or project or online thing would kind of like like eat up the other ones. So then it wasn't. It was confusing to people who might be interested to look at which one's happening right now again, because there's so many happening. Yeah, so they could be like oh, this is just this one thing that cds is offering right now. Am I interested or not? Oh, maybe, yes, maybe the next one will go from there and it so that it also helps. Um, the messaging, because people, I think, are also. Their bandwidth has shifted too, just like mine. So confused, people don't choose and if I'm trying to get them to choose, I'd like it to be as clear and easy for them as possible and for me too.

Speaker 1: 47:59

Yeah, no kidding, it does make it a lot easier on all levels. Yeah, send inquiry suggestions for new discussion topics and comments to podcast at happy lion centercom. That's podcast at happy lion centercom. If you found this content enjoyable or helpful, please comment, like, share and download. Donations are appreciated and help us to produce more of similar content. Consider making a contribution at the links in the description box. Your support is greatly appreciated. Thank you. Intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. None of the content provided should be considered a substitute for legal, financial, medical psychiatric advice or as care from a certified professional.