Whispers of Healing and Self-Discovery with Nicki Hu

When the dance between life's trials and mystical epiphanies becomes a personal tango, it's time to share the rhythm that guides your steps. This week, Blaire Stanislao and Nicki Hu invite you to a heartfelt conversation connecting the dots with anything from hormonal upheavals to the overall spiritual balancing act of being an entrepreneur. 

Our journey together takes us further along the path of spiritual entrepreneurship, where the echoes of family trauma fade into lessons on energy and quantum dynamics. The insights from human design to the physical-spiritual linkages become touchstones in a landscape where mentors guide and Western medicine challenges. As we search for validation and clarity strap in for a deep dive as we traverse the impact of relationships on spiritual progress.

Transcript

Blaire Stanislao: 0:01

Hello, this is Blair Stanislao with the Happy Lion Center. Welcome to our podcast, mystical and Infamous, where we have playful and easy conversations about anything mystical, getting to the heart of all things, strange and weird. Join us in a bit of magical tomfoolery, spreading the alchemy of love and light. And now we invite you to enjoy the show. It's actually a conversation. I don't know if you'd want to have that conversation, but it's. It's on the forefront for me now, but it's not like it's not really loud where I need to talk about it, but it's just an idea. I'm gonna throw it out there to you, cause I'm sure you're familiar with this.

Blaire Stanislao: 0:39

So the what Adrian covered was an issue with authority, because it wasn't just her breaking her leg. It was her breaking her leg. And then I was going to take a hormone test because basically my hormones have been just kicking my butt the last six months or something Right, but I never really had difficulty with my cycle or anything like that before. So the only difficulty I really ever had that I was aware that it was hormones when I was pregnant and um, and then I think one time after or before I can't remember anyways I was like absurdly mad at my husband, my first husband. It didn't make any sense why I was so angry, but like I was so livid, you would have seen oil coming out of my face, beat red right, and it was like he peed on the seat, okay, which I know is really not a big deal, but I had. I was like 24, something like that, and I just the first thought I thought was oh my God, did I, did I marry a grownup or is it a child? You know? Like it just made me so mad. And so I mentioned that to the doctor and he has been delivering babies since I've been born, and so he just kind of laughed at me and he's like that's okay.

Blaire Stanislao: 1:44

Sometimes life changes get you out of whack. If it keeps going on, then you can take some of these pills, okay. So I didn't take them because it did get better. So that's the only time I've experienced with hormones, but lately it's been. It's not quite that bad, but it's it's definitely weird. Hormones are a very weird thing and anyways, I was mentioning that because I'd had also had a lot of trouble that day with, like my joints were hurting, which never hurt, and so forth, and I was going to take this hormone test.

Blaire Stanislao: 2:13

But it occurred right after my daughter was having her foot. You know, she had broken her foot and we were essentially acclimating to okay, now you've broken your foot, we had to, you know, go forward with whatever we're going to do, and it was just too much stress. I mean, I read the instructions really not a big deal, I just got to pee on some things. But when I read the instructions I was just like overwhelmed. It was like you can only have 40 ounces of liquid bubble. I read that and I just tuned out. I was like I drink more than 40 ounces in the morning. Like this is Like I drink more than 40 ounces in the morning. Like this is, this is a big deal. I don't know if I can do it, all that kind of stuff. And then, anyways, it all boiled down to a problem with authority, which makes sense.

Nicki Hu: 2:53

That's also in my chart right, that's something that I struggle with too. I think recently that was the thing I struggled with in my business class Cause I was like I don't know why. I can't remember how you were channeling for me, that I'm putting myself in a box, and I was like I, but I can't like step out of it for some odd reason.

Blaire Stanislao: 3:13

So did you get anywhere with that, do you think?

Nicki Hu: 3:15

I kind of let it go and it gave me some clarity and I'm kind of back into the space of like let me just take the lesson of refining my message and then what I do with that after is what I do with that after. But a lot of stuff has been coming to me lately, like my spiritual gifts are opening up more and I'm starting to see a lot of different things during healings and I kind of let that guide the way. I'm like should I talk about how I heal people? And then the business class is saying like people don't want to talk about how you heal them, they want to talk about the results that you get them. And I kept getting stuck in that, kept wanting to talk about but I can call in your guides and I can all these things, right, nobody cares about that.

Blaire Stanislao: 4:00

It's kind of weird. It's kind of weird. So the, my astrologer friend, used to say that all the time, and I know that I have, like the, I have, of course, teacher indicators and I've been, I've been a public school teacher, I love teaching, I was raised by teachers, I love being a student, that kind of thing. But I kept saying, you know, I kept trying to encourage him and say you know, people want to know how you do this, because, basically, I want to know, and I know that there's other people like me, right, and he kept saying the same thing no, they don't want to know, they don't care, they just want to, they just want the answer. That's all they want. So it's interesting you say that.

Blaire Stanislao: 4:36

But the so the authority thing, what I find really, really ironic about it is, in addition to issues with authority that are in my chart, I also have pretty big indicators of being a leader, okay, which I know. It's not like I haven't led anything, it's not like I haven't experienced anything like that. But I have always been told, oh, you're so great at doing X, y, z, whatever it is, oh, you should do more. But then I wound up like I don't know, there's like a there's resistance somewhere, right, and what's ironic to me about it is okay. So I have this big thing with authority, which you know Adrian can tap into, you could tap into, a lot of people could tap into, but that's not something you're really going to have a lot of conversation about with people. Because if people have an issue with authority and you come in as some kind of authority in any way, even if you take like a comment as a parent, if a person, depending on how bad that issue is right, like they're going to be defensive, and I fall into that, into that space. I mean I certainly have. I certainly have grown, but if I even think back to what I was like as a child, like why was I so angry about certain things? Right, and I know my daughter has it too. So I know it's, I know it's in there and I know that I'm sure a lot of this stuff, what I'm doing, I've done as a parent, has put that, the subconscious patterns within her.

Blaire Stanislao: 6:01

But what I find is really, I don't know it's a different level of I don't know that it's irony, but it's like this okay, you have this gift. That's being told. You have this gift all over the place and pretty much everybody's like well, I know I have this gift, but I don't know how to use it or do anything with it. And that's the healing part. That's when you figure out what those that resistance is. Then that's where, all of a sudden, now you can walk into this leadership role or whatever it is right. But it's so weird because it's like okay, I have this gift. You keep telling me a hundred times over I hear it's a clear message. But now I have this like block and it's not like a pretend block, it a clear message. But now I have this like block and it's not like a pretend block.

Nicki Hu: 6:47

It's not a little block, it's not a one that comes up every now and then it's like an all the time block, you know but what you're saying is exactly what I went through, because I was like I know I can do it, but why is it that I can't do it? And so I was working with my healer and we were clearing a whole bunch of stuff in, like the multi, the quantum realms and stuff. And then finally she brought through like the dragon essence. Yes, on Saturday it was like I'm like the golden dragon soul or something. She brought that through and she's like oh, this is a huge energy, it's coming through.

Nicki Hu: 7:21

But it brought up all of these things inside of me that were still very low vibrational. I was like people don't love me, I don't feel important, and it was like mother's day and everybody was texting me, but I was like I still didn't feel it Right and it was all those basic things that I used to feel back in the day before I started healing I'm not important, um. But once those energies come up and out, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I can do things now. Like everything that I was resisting about, like, um, clarifying and and structuring and making things simple, all of a sudden that's not a block anymore and I don't know what was healed or what energy was brought through.

Nicki Hu: 8:02

It was just like what was healed or what energy was brought through. It was just like I stopped fighting myself on it. So I don't know, because I do have an issue with authority, just like you said, I have a huge issue with authority and I think it was because I didn't see myself as an authority. So for me to actually make that change, like stand up and say I'm going to drop this business course, get this business course. I'm going to drop this business course, get this business course. I'm going to do whatever I want and I was listening to Bashar at the time. That's why I sent it to you. I was like Bashar is freaking awesome. That actually helped shift. I even skipped like two, two classes, two of my classes, because I was like f*(; this class, I don't want to like work. And I think just making that shift allowed the energy to come through and say like you just put yourself above somebody you consider authority. So you just took that leadership role and now you made that change, which is something Bashar says.

Nicki Hu: 9:00

He's like you don't specifically need someone to heal you, you don't need to be in that like space. As soon as you see the pattern and you decide that you want to do something different, like you choose a different action. You already healed it. You healed it yourself. You don't need to ask someone to heal it for you, consistently creating that reality over and over and over again that we're not our own authority, or like we're not good enough and we choose that reality, even though we see it. But he says, once you see it, there's a break in the loop. Like that lie cannot replay itself right. Like that not truth, not who you are can no longer sustain itself and eventually, eventually you might, he says you might entertain it for a little bit, but eventually you're going to see like that's not really who I am and you're going to choose to let it go. But it takes some time to integrate. Sometimes I'm quite stubborn and I keep playing that loop over and over and over. But I was like that. Maybe that was what it was.

Blaire Stanislao: 10:05

Yeah, I, I find it. That was what it was. Yeah, I find so what you're talking about there reminds me of the idea of timeline shifting, you know, into a different reality where that truth is more of a, it's more integrated into the entire being. But, of course, adjacent to that is prior to where it was healed, right Like you're in a different universe and actually just to the right of that or just the left of that. You haven't actually integrated that. But I want to touch for just a second on the sensation of knowing that you've made that shift, because that that letting go of something energetically is an entirely different experience than reasoning through something or, you know, I don't know whatever else there is, but because it seems like the mind is so predominant, right Like we think we can kind of logically go through that, I don't have to worry about that, whereas if it's an energetic shift, you don't have to convince yourself, you don't even have to have conversation because you know it's over. You know, like I'm just done.

Nicki Hu: 11:14

Yeah, and I remember what he said, which blew my mind, because he said we're we're experiencing all time and reality at the same time. So it really is just shifting into a different frequency or a different version of us. But what really stood out to me was like how it took me so long, like I was choosing being stuck, and he always says you just choose what serves you, because it's going to reflect back to what you prefer more anyways. So I said why do I choose to be stuck? Right, and that's the limiting story that we have to uncover what, why is that serving me? Um, until I finally decided, oh, I'm not going to choose that anymore. I don't want that's not like, that's not serving me anymore. I don't want to keep fighting myself.

Nicki Hu: 12:00

So that leads back to do what makes you happy, like follow your highest, and eventually you'll get to that conclusion. Because that's what I did I let it go and I got that inspiration to run my money workshop and then I got this inspiration right. It's all inspired to do like community events. And then I invited a couple people, but the person that I invited for this week was Janine and she wanted to do like family trauma, like healing family trauma and I felt it inside of me. I said, oh, that doesn't really align to where I want to head, because where I want to head is I want to talk about spiritual entrepreneurship, I want to help people as entrepreneurs and I want to talk about more frequency-based stuff, versus like healing family trauma stuff.

Nicki Hu: 12:46

So that was just like showing me, reflecting back to me. Those are things that I don't really prefer anymore. Right, like I don't want to. I want to lean more into the crowd that understands energy, that wants to work with energy, that understands, that wants to go beyond and talk about like the quantum and stuff. So I've been leaning into that more, as he says, and just letting it unfold that way, versus like being really strict with myself with what the business coaching says, like just stick to the message, do the thing, do the thing. I was like. But I have to experiment. I'm like in my experimental phase right now.

Blaire Stanislao: 13:25

Oh, and why do you feel like you have to experiment, or did you? I guess maybe you've shifted out of that, or the expectation.

Nicki Hu: 13:32

You remember human design, how we were talking about human design. So like um, certain certain energies are, are where we are at at life and our profile dictates how we experience our own energy. So for my energy type, which is the sixth and the two, the sixth the first 30 years because I'm still like 28, is acting as like a line three, which is all about experimentation. So if you ever meet somebody who is a line three, they have to experiment, they have to try it, figure out that they don't like it and then try something else and figure out they don't like it. Oh my God, I don't know if I can live that my entire life. So I'm happy it's going to end at 30. So that was really me, like I have to try it and say, oh, I don't really like that anymore and then try something else else. So just knowing yourself kind of validates that experience. Yeah, um, and try to share that too, because people right, like the whole reason we get mentors is because we want to emulate what they have.

Blaire Stanislao: 14:34

But yeah something yeah, exactly yeah, well, yeah, it's interesting to me that, uh, it it's like a. It's been a couple of weeks, I think it's been about a month or so, but there was a I had. I heard a phrase in one of my classes, in the dream interpretation class, that I had heard before and it never like stabbed me with a knife, like it this time, but this one time it just like it just hit home in a different way and the the statement was um, you know, a lot of people who go on this spiritual path have a difficult life like something he had they have. Everybody has trauma, but these people have a trauma that really changes who they are and how they approach life. Okay, so we know that, as a whole, probably anybody who would listen to this podcast is probably one of those people. Right? Then he said but just in case, that's not enough. A lot of times these people also choose which sounds weird, but they do choose. We do. Our souls choose to also have digestive issues. Okay, now it sort of makes sense. If you don't have digestive issues, that's like you know you probably can hear it go in one ear or out the other, it doesn't matter.

Blaire Stanislao: 15:53

But I've had IBS for more than 25 years and I probably have had digestive issues my entire life and didn't even know it Right and it's been this lifelong battle, didn't even know it Right and it's been this lifelong battle. And I have because it's IBS. You know, back 20 years ago, the Western medical system, their approach was basically it's all in your head and women have more of this than men, so they can statistically figure this out. Women have more of this. But to me that was also like okay, you women are, it's another ding on you. Women are a little bit crazy, you know, like let it go, kind of thing. And so it really really honestly, it just helped this authority thing fabricate even more because, in addition to the other experiences I had had where doctors weren't always really helpful, now I'm reading, I'm not even going, I quit going to the doctor, I wasn't going to go tell the doctor. Sometimes I get sick and sometimes I'm reading, I'm not even going, I quit going to the doctor, I wasn't going to go tell the doctor. Sometimes I get sick and sometimes I'm fine. I don't know what to say, you know, because what are they going to tell me? There's not much there. I start doing the reading on it and they say the same thing. They in the past. They pretty much always thought it was in your head.

Blaire Stanislao: 16:55

But I finally got a really good book on digestive problems and I think it's an Asian doctor, I think it's a woman Asian doctor, I know it's a woman and I think that I looked it up the other day. This book was so good that that was it. I was done. I was like, okay, I'm not crazy. I know that this is, this is legitimate. Here's all this, all this, some, some whole bunch of science on it right in a published book. And then I just was like I don't even need to ask anybody else. I know what my problem is, right. So fast forward till I'm 38 years old. On my 38th birthday I had a complete colonoscopy, top to bottom. That's what they said, um, but when he said that for some, it just hit me really hard because it's like why would anybody choose this misery Meaning earlier that day?

Blaire Stanislao: 17:49

Almost every time I eat I get harassed by my family, like you always have to say like why do you?

Blaire Stanislao: 17:55

You know, why do you not eat gluten? And you know you make it so hard on everybody else because you don't eat like we do, and you know it's like nobody would actually choose it. Eat like we do, and you know it's like nobody would actually choose it. I mean, I'm not putting this on the same level as you know somebody who has something you know like maybe they went to war and they have PTSD from that or they have they, you know they've been raped but it feels pretty hardcore, similar to that, like nobody in their right mind would actually choose to go through this. But yet we do, because you know our higher self is kind of you know we agree to come into this life and experience these things. But it's just a different experience to actually go through the things than it is to say, okay, this is, this is going to ensure you know that you're going to go along this path. So it just hit really hardcore home.

Nicki Hu: 18:47

And do you believe that, like at one, at some point it's going to be fully healed, or do you feel like this is a lifelong thing?

Blaire Stanislao: 18:55

I honestly feel like, okay, let me see this and see what I really think. What I really think is I really want to play with, I really want to play with the ability to heal it without any Western allopathic medicine, partially because I'd like to just kind of prove to myself again like I have these, I also have thyroid problems, right, which probably all comes from you know, it's all similar, it's all connected. But so I went to there was a lady at an event I went to and she did iridology, which is looking at the iris and the eye. So she takes a picture of your eye, right, and it's kind of like reflexology, in that in your eye you have indicators of things that are off. Now I didn't get like the full reading, the whole sit down, and I haven't studied it, so I don't know it fully. But she told me some things and I was like, oh, you know, that makes a lot of sense. Like one of them was you have a tendency to kind of leach minerals from your bones. That's all she said. But then I realized, okay, over the last year and a half or two I've been taking magnesium and I feel so much better Like my whole life if I had been taking magnesium, I would have. I just would have been so much better like altogether, and so that was kind of interesting. But then of course there's this vein that the way she says it looks is like it's a chronic issue, it's thyroid. Well, yeah, I've had thyroid issues for a long time and I really want to play with this. I have this like gem that I haven't really told anybody, so this first time I verbalized it. I'd like to see that that vein that sticks out just like completely disappear, because I know it can happen. I know people I've heard stories where they do that spiritual surgery and the tumor they watch. I mean they videotaped it, right. They I know somebody who's seen it in person the tumor just disappeared as the person was doing the psychic surgery. So in a way I kind of want to play with it like that.

Blaire Stanislao: 20:58

Now, the digestive issues I actually had, I was doing I was receiving a clearing from Elizabeth Rose and of course we just touched on digestion, but I wasn't intending it for it to be that, but that's just what was what the topic was, because I mean, that's my life, it's always a topic right, and she's channeling and she's and part of it. She was like you will heal, you will heal, this will heal, this will heal. And then she comes out of it and she's channeling and she's and part of it she was like you will heal, you will heal, this will heal, this will heal. And then she comes out of it and she's like oh, that was strange. And I said what, what was strange? And she said oh, they don't usually say this will heal. But I know another spiritual friend of mine who leads our little meditation group. She said to me one time you know, this is all made up like you don really, you don't have to have this digestive issue, you don't have to have these things. And it's just being aware of the fact that I'm creating that to happen. So I do so in a way. Yeah, I do kind of feel like, yes, it will be healed, but it's like this process of uncovering what it is, that's this just like you're talking about you, you're, you're already healed when you get the awareness about this thing. That's in your way right and you release that. So in that way, yes, but I also think too that um and michael sheridan has said this several times but the like, you know, part of it is that you get to be in tune with your body so that you can be aware of what's happening with the energies.

Blaire Stanislao: 22:24

So, like I can remember being less than five years old, I was taking swimming classes. I love swimming and I remember when I would finally be left alone all the kids were gone and I was still in the water I remember thinking to myself why do I love this so much? And so I just, kind of like, went into my body and just, and I was just floating and I remember being underwater holding my breath and I was thinking why do I love this so much? And then I just pay attention to how it felt and I realized, oh, you know, part of what I love about it is the way it feels, like the floating, this, and and then, of course, water moves and you know you can tell the water's moving on your arm. And I was like because that is so cool, just to sense that, okay, now I'm in my 40s, right, because I looked at my arm and you couldn't see anything. Right, it's just water. It wasn't like a big rush or anything, it was just like a little movement. And I'm in my 40s and I'm doing this energy work and I'm like, how do I describe what it feels like? If this feels like it felt like?

Blaire Stanislao: 23:21

In high school, I remember I felt like there were ants crawling on me or little bugs, and I lived in the South, so there are always bugs and it wouldn't be surprising, right? But it was a very odd times. I could be in the classroom or something like that, and I was like there's no bugs on me, there's not even any bugs in here, and so I got to the point where I would like, wouldn't move anything. I'd feel it and I wouldn't move anything except my eyes and I would just look at the like it was my arm.

Blaire Stanislao: 23:44

I'd look at my arm and I'd be actually talking to myself like, okay, there's nothing on my arm, but I can totally feel that, right. So it's not until now that I'm like. I'm like, oh, I was just sensing energy, just noticing the physical shift. So in that respect, you know, it's helpful in that because you start to become fine-tuned with where things are. And I still struggle with IBS.

Blaire Stanislao: 24:14

But it's been a couple months and I remember we had had a meal and I got in bed and, of course, my husband's asleep and I'm laying there and I'm like, oh, why do my guts feel like this, or why do my insides feel like this, right, and I'm like I'm in my head. So then I started looking stuff up on the phone. They've already labeled that, because people who have IBS actually have this situation where they notice their organs kind of functioning more than other people and it's actually called visceral hypersensitivity than other people, and it's actually called visceral hypersensitivity, which this is back from like 2010 or a long time ago, where they did this research. Of course, I didn't know anything about it, but there's nothing wrong with a person. They're just aware of their body, you know, functioning, moving as it does, whereas other people are just not doing that. And so, like I said that people with IBS sense it more, they're more aware of it, so they feel like they have more hyper awareness of that.

Nicki Hu: 25:12

So, in a way, yeah, I was gonna say it's really a gift, because recently I've started to kind of tune into my body too, and when things are not in alignment, I feel like the swirly energy near my sacral and I'm like, ooh, that burns, that burns, which means that's not good, right, maybe all this energy is being stuck in my sacral. I'm not moving in the direction I want to move, and that's usually what it is. It's like, oh, I feel so resistant, I feel so stuck, I don't want to do it Right, and that resistance comes up. So then I feel it. So it really is a gift for you to be able to just like tune into your body even even more so if, especially if, we're logical thinkers like I'm a huge logical thinker, I'm in my brain all the time yeah Well, they train us to be.

Blaire Stanislao: 25:57

You know that's the good part, that's the part that's celebrated. You know that's the good part, that's the part that's celebrated.

Nicki Hu: 26:06

So, yeah, excuse me, um, there was something else too if I could share real quick. It was that you choose circumstances and there is a certain timing for it to be healed or released too, because your experience and who you are and what you have is actually playing a role for other people. Experienced and who you are and what you have is actually playing a role for other people. So what you're experiencing right now may be playing a role for your mom, your sister, whoever's involved in the storyline that you chose to play out. So we all have a theme and that's why I'm like, I'm so impatient, I want everything now, and I feel like a lot of us are like this. We're like can we just heal everything now so that we can have what it is we want? And it's like, but you have to honor the storyline, and Bashar always talks about your storyline is really important. So if you're recreating your story, there's always that hero's journey and there's always that part that is challenging and you overcome that and then, like, your reward or the final result that you wanted to experience usually is delayed for the sake of your gratification.

Nicki Hu: 27:07

But it also plays a role in other people's lives too. It's quite complicated in that sense, and everything is about coming back to the now, to be present, and I've been practicing that. I'm like be present, right the now to be present, and I've been practicing that. I'm like be present, right I get. I float off to the spiritual world of like I just want to meditate, to find peace, and then I come back down and I'm like, ah, I still have a whole bunch of like physical world stuff I need to take care and nothing got done. So it's really about like enjoying your present moment and also not getting stuck in the I'm just a human that can't create anything else, and also not getting stuck in the I'm a soul and I don't want anything to do with my physical reality.

Blaire Stanislao: 27:52

Right, we actually brought this up because I just had that come pretty, pretty much to the forefront. My husband was out of town. I was actually planning to go out of town with him this past week but my daughter had surgery and so I didn't go. So he was gone, my kids were here and that was it. And we have our own way of you know I mean, they're my kids we found our like rhythm Right, so it was pretty calm and he comes back in and he's like the opposite personality to me, personality of me, and it did feel like it's like okay, I was in this place all week, not that I not that it was like the best place, or I mean, it's not that I didn't miss him, I did miss him but kind of enjoyed that alone time.

Blaire Stanislao: 28:35

And he comes back and the conversations are just like we never had the conversations that we had when he came back. You know, and it is this weird kind of weird mixture of contrast and not contrast and I don't know. I think Abraham Hicks description of the what does she call it? She calls it. Contrast is what she calls it, but like and Bashar addresses this too it's the no matter whatar addresses this too. It's the no matter what's happening, if it's something that you don't like, it's helping you to clarify what you do want, right, so that you can make the shifts and, like you're talking about, so intertwined with everybody. Um, yeah, but it is. It's a it's a unique experience to try and figure out, like, okay, what do I do with this? Because you find peace and calm and you feel like you know what to do, but yet we're here, humans trying to interact with the outside world. Yeah, and that's where it gets to be a little confusing, I think.

Nicki Hu: 29:37

I want to sit back down and I'm like so what is it that I really want? Because I've achieved all these things and now I'm like I find myself in that space of I'm not happy with what I have again, and it's like now you have to find your way back to the basics, the basics of like love, connection, like being present in the moment, and those things really anchor in the happiness. Because for me, I think sometimes I get lost in the. I have to heal all of these things in order to right. I have to heal all these things in order to be healthy, in order to be happy, in order to feel all my emotions, in order to have money. But then you realize like it's a never ending journey. So you have to be happy now, you have to be abundant now.

Blaire Stanislao: 30:23

Yeah, that actually came up in the. We were talking about that like, well, what does that mean? So we I have a another friend of mine who's in my little group and we're going to do a channeling session and she's saying this is triggering some stuff within her, because you can be she just told me today but really it's like I'm not surprised at all that this did this. But so we decided we're going to do this channeling event. I asked them. They said yes, and I'm kind of in the background doing some other things. And then, like I guess I had forgotten how intertwined it is, because in various sessions that I've had with people, they essentially I mean like people from all over the globe, right, so they're this, this energy needs to be something more like authentic, and but this is you need a stepping stone. And I'm like, okay, well, is it the thing we're doing on the third, on Thursday? And she's channeling and she says yes, that's it. Okay, so it's this event we're talking about, right? So I know that I'm getting this from everywhere. I really need to do it and I'm totally fine with that, and I'm having my own issues with the. You know, like the preparation for it, how it's going to go that kind of thing. And then I go see her and it's funny she's having her own issues too and they come up and the way that they come out. It's just trying to be honest with me and say I'm just telling you, I'm just really nervous about this, blah, blah, blah. And of course the message is exactly that Go into the now, don't worry about it. You know like, but what does that mean? And she's over there, I'm trying, my guy, she says my guides are, they're taking away my.

Blaire Stanislao: 31:57

She does muscle testing and she's like superb at it, like I mean it's a second language for her, so I'm testing all that and she does, she integrates it all the time. It's like if she's talking, she's doing this, you just don't know if she's doing the muscle testing. And and she says, my guys, they're like taking it away and it's just gone. And you know, they tell me that I'm using it too much. And I'm like okay, were you taking a break? You've had this before. And she's rationalizing it and we're like well, if you're really taking a break, you can't be thinking about taking a break from it, right, like you have to just allow yourself to go in that moment and experience things and then your nervous system really calms down, especially for her.

Blaire Stanislao: 32:34

I think it does for everybody, but she really benefits from the nervous system where you just finally energetically let it go and just getting in that space of enjoying whatever's going on. So I think there's so much. There's so much to that and um, actually it was it's kind of interesting because I'm kind of curious um, the first time that we took adrian's course together and we did the reiki initiation, and um, it was the session where she says we're essentially going to channel our own symbols. Did you channel a symbol?

Nicki Hu: 33:08

I did. It was like what have you done? What have I done with the symbol?

Blaire Stanislao: 33:16

Yeah, have you done anything with it yet?

Nicki Hu: 33:20

I think when I uh, when I started healing and was only using reiki, I would invoke the symbol instead of the complicated other reiki symbols that we were taught. So I used my symbol, um. But now that I've advanced in my healing and started to understand my gifts a little bit more, that reiki is not the same as like energy healing itself. Now I'm using more of what I'm gifted, like what, what comes through for me.

Blaire Stanislao: 33:48

Yeah. So what about you? I did and it was really strange. That was a really interesting experience for me, and I say it's really strange because I never had it come through in that kind of way. So we're doing the Reiki training. Essentially. It's like I mean for lack of a better term, especially for people who have not been trained in Reiki to me they all feel like meditations, whether missions, whatever you want to call them, they all feel like meditation. So you go into meditation and with this specific one, that was the intent of calling in your own symbol. Okay, now, a lot of times I'm just like, well, whatever, we'll see what happens, and I just do it. So that's what I did. And it was really strange because I don't always get visual stuff, but I got this visual and so other people in the class were sharing and they were talking about things. Well, I'm on my computer, I'm a graphic designer, I'm like an image, real simple image of the symbol that had come through. But mine was okay.

Blaire Stanislao: 34:51

It was what I understood to be was three rocks, so a bigger rock, a medium rock and a smaller rock, and those are supposed to represent past, present, present and future. And then there was like a box, I don't know how to describe it. It was a box on top of that and I could see waves coming in. So for me, and of course, when you're in these, these meditations, you ask what they are and they tell you what they are. But it was this box and the energy waves were going into it and they were not going. They are, but it was this box and the energy waves were going into it and they were not going anywhere else. So the rocks were the rocks, that's it, nothing else to focus on about the rocks. Then you've got the box and I was like, okay, well, what's the box? The box is the now. So all the energy is going into the now. It doesn't go into the past, present or future, which is kind of weird because it doesn't really make sense, because it is present, right.

Blaire Stanislao: 35:44

But and then the only other part of it was, there was this circle that encompassed the whole image, and what I was told is that the circle is the focus field, okay, and the now moment is kind of a top. It's connected to the past, present and future. It's connected to time, but it's the only real thing that exists. So it's connected to the past, present and future. It's connected to time, but it's the only real thing that exists, so it's the only thing that you should be focusing on, and so I've used it a couple of times. There's been a couple of clients where I'm like, okay, this is obviously coming up. I need to share with you what this is, but, um, I think we don't understand the full experience or the full um, the full, what do I say? Impact maybe of what it is to really be in the now.

Nicki Hu: 36:28

Oh my God. Yeah, we're like so far from human beings. We have to learn about how to be us, and now I have to. I've been practicing it more instead of trying to rationalize or understand, because I think that's a very human thing. It's like we seek to understand. We seek to understand our existence, we seek to understand our experiences. Why do we experience pain? Why did that happen to us when, in fact, like, life doesn't make sense. Life is to be experienced, and that I heard from somewhere and I was like you are right. We imply the meaning and so, therefore, anything that is we're experiencing, we just have an experience. But then we have like, then we imply that experience must have meant something to me, and that's how we create our story, and that's how we create our story and that's how we create our reality.

Blaire Stanislao: 37:26

Yes, so actually imply is the masculine, infer is the feminine. So technically, we're inferring right, we're taking information, we're creating some sort of construct around it like a belief system or whatever, right? It's kind of interesting. You said that because, as I'm talking to you about the living in the now, I think the thing that most humans struggle with, at least on our planet now and I don't mean everybody, but a lot of people struggle with getting into the feminine. Well, what does that mean? That means relinquishing control. It means being okay to go with the flow, knowing how to respond to something you know like.

Blaire Stanislao: 38:06

I don't know how to describe it other than it's this. It's just a different energy than definitely when, than what the Western world presents. But there's a lot, even in other other areas of the world, where they still have this very masculine way of any. Any war right Is related to masculinity. Right, they're going to go out and conquer or they're going to dictate or whatever, but it's like being in this peaceful state where you're open and able to receive. I find that really interesting, cause I wonder, like if we are in fact making inferences on the information that's coming through, how is that serving us?

Nicki Hu: 38:50

I mean in all ways. For me, I would say, like because I'm an optimist and because we all have emotions and we feel things. Like if something doesn't feel comfortable, then I can just spin it in a way that that serves me. So I would, up until now, I would say, like my life has been wonderful, right, like, even though I've experienced childhood trauma, even though I've worked since I was very young, I'm able to spin it in a way that serves me up until this point. So I think it's really about like I remember Bashar saying humans are the only like race or type of being multidimensional being that can experience limitation. Like the only reason why we're here is because being that can experience limitation. Like the only reason why we're here is because we chose to experience limitation and what we can create after, like after witnessing our own limitation, and then that makes us masters of creation. So, like all these other multi-dimensional beings, they don't have that kind of limitation. They would say, like we just graduated from being masters of creation because we are able to now create while witnessing that we have certain limitations. So for me, it's like now I can create my reality, like stepping out of that box of victimhood into. I can actually create my reality through my thoughts and beliefs and and feelings, and I think that's the whole, like that's the whole spiral or trajectory of life is. Sometimes you witness, sometimes you observe, sometimes you go with the flow and then.

Nicki Hu: 40:29

But to create your own reality, to have an experience, is that you need to like, you have to have a desire for something, you have to want to experience something, and that's where the creation comes in. It's like I want to experience something. So therefore, I'm going to initiate that with a thought, with a feeling, and that thought and feeling then creates an actionable thing that we can respond to, then creates an actionable thing that we can respond to. And that's where the doing comes in. So it is more feminine, leading first, which is the whole energy, the energy and then the doing comes after, whereas we kind of got it reversed now we do, we do, we do, we do and we think that's going to give us what we want, but then we kind of lose touch with that energetic part of us where first we feel what it is that we want, we visualize what it is that we want and then we do once we get that alignment.

Blaire Stanislao: 41:24

But it is. Would you agree that it really is this kind of ongoing? Well, you call it a spiral. I think that's a good description of it, because it's like we're constantly flowing back and forth between the being and the doing right, so the masculine and the feminine. We're always fluctuating between those two, and so it doesn't really matter where you are. You're on the spectrum somewhere, right. You're either in the feminine, receiving something, or you're in the masculine, or maybe you're like kind of doing both at the same time. But it's so. What I'm saying is like it's it's that concept of what you were talking about before is you feel like you had to do something before, you had to heal something before you didn't take this action, or before you have something that you wanted, whereas really it's, because it is only the now, it's there's. It's not really a before, it's not really an after, it's more of like where are you on the energetic, like receiving or taking action? Does that make sense?

Nicki Hu: 42:26

it does and it brings the concept of yin and yang masculine, feminine into balance together. Because if you're not doing anything, then you cease to exist, kind of thing. Right, we're unlimited beings, it's not like we can't cease to function, but if you just sit still and you don't do anything for a long, long period of time, then nothing's happening. It's not that nothing's being created, because things are around you in creation all the time, but you get to choose what. What do you want to experience? You can sit here and meditate all day, like there are people who love that and that's their life and that's their experience in life yeah, yeah, interesting, okay, well, do you want to add anything to that or do you want to?

Blaire Stanislao: 43:14

we can just have that be the conversation that. That, like went all over the board.

Nicki Hu: 43:20

Yeah, I love that. It's so natural, like this is just our. This is just us bouncing ideas and talking about each other All right?

Blaire Stanislao: 43:28

Well then, I'll just use that. But yeah, it's really, it's. It's been very, very interesting and I, you know I knew we were doing this, but I know, I know we have other meetings planned and I just like I have that in the back of my mind. So I just know I don't know how to describe it other than you know that things are meant to be I tried to describe this to that woman who was so frazzled about her like relaxing into her gifts. I feel like there's a way, somehow we just know.

Blaire Stanislao: 43:56

Okay, I don't know all the details of all the things, but I know I'm going to do this thing. I don't know how it's going to go. I don't know what, all you know, what all is going to be involved or what it's going to pull from me or whatever, but I know that this is going to happen and I'm committed to it. And I don't mean that from a standpoint of your mind. Think that I. I mean it from a standpoint of, yes, my mind's involved in it. But really I just know, like I, like I want us to connect again, like I want us to, you know, and we, we agree to do it.

Blaire Stanislao: 44:25

And if it doesn't work and that means it's not supposed to be right, but that that it's almost like that's kind of it feels like this ambivalent. What's the word Ambivalent? Ambiguous, is the word ambiguous, this ambiguous thing? It's like a drive to create something, or drive to do or seek, or like you're talking about what do you want to make? We don't, we can't really see what that is, but there's something there and you can't deny it. So yeah, in that sense, that's why I, that's why I that's the that's the way that I approach podcasts is like I'm not really worried about the topic because I know the people that come and actually thought this morning I get to talk to the coolest people doing the podcast and it doesn't really matter what we talk about. You know, like there's there's always some way to and it's all aligned because it's always connected to some way of personal growth, self-actualization, that kind of thing.

Nicki Hu: 45:20

So I actually kind of leaned into that too, because I run online shows as well, as you're familiar with, like summits and stuff, and whoever comes through comes through and it always ends up being the perfect topic, even if we didn't plan anything ahead of time. And it always ends up being the perfect topic, even if we didn't plan anything ahead of time. And what I'm starting to notice now because the 3D in marketing especially, you need to write things a certain way, you need to say things a certain way, you need to do X, y and Z to get clients what I'm noticing recently is people just come to me energetically and I remember having a conversation with a potential client and I said your circumstances are something I would have said no to because you don't have the money to pay me. You know like X, y and Z and then, but I said energetically, it's a yes. So I'm just going to say yes and I'm going to trust that the universe brings you the money to pay me and everything works out as it is.

Nicki Hu: 46:10

And he said same. He said everything you're saying sounds like a red flag. It's like logically it's a no, but energetically it's a yes. And so he like, and so he put down a deposit and we and we make it work and, who knows, next month we're going to work together. But I also remember at the beginning of the year I was still going through this phase of fear of like I have to do something to get this client to pay me right now.

Blaire Stanislao: 46:39

Right, that's what they teach us.

Nicki Hu: 46:41

That's what they teach you. And then she goes my guides are telling me not to begin until, like May. And this was like we spoke, like back in January, and I'm like May, and here I am, running those fear based thoughts of like you know she's, she's going to opt out, she's not going to commit to me, like why, why are you right we? They teach us like to come to come back with an explanation or like a what do you call those? An interception of like, but tell me, why is it your fear that's telling you we need to work like six months down the line? Is it your fear that's telling you we need to work like six months down the line?

Nicki Hu: 47:15

And it was like those thoughts coming up and having to face those thoughts and quiet those thoughts down or just shine a light on them and say what do you trust, what do you believe, what is your belief? And now and last week I had my, my workshop, and she was there and she said my guides are saying you're finally where you like, you are finally standing in your truth. And in those months I was going through a whole process, in a process of letting, so her guides knew that I was ready to heal her because I was going through my own internal process, but we were going to end up working together regardless, so she would, she, she knew that.

Blaire Stanislao: 47:58

So, yeah, that's the same feeling that I'm talking about, like you. Just, I just know, like, for example, my business. I know I want to do this, I know I'm going to do this, I know I love doing it, like every facet of it, facet of it, in every realm. I don't mean that I love all parts of the business, but what I mean is like doing the actual work. That's my thing. And you know, if somebody were to ask me what it is I do, that's what I would say this, like this idea of this business that I do. But there's all these other things that are just kind of contradictory towards it. Like you know, it's like okay, but I don't, and I don't have, I don't put a lot of energy into that, but every now and then I kind of succumb to this like okay, well, here are these other beliefs and other thoughts that other people are shoving down my throat, and maybe they're right. Or you know, and somebody says something that actually resonates with me and I think, okay, well, I know it's supposed to be easy. That's some of the resistance I have is, like I know it's supposed to be really easy, like crazy easy. You can't, you know, and it's. There are parts of it that are not that easy. So I feel like OK, obviously I still have work to do.

Blaire Stanislao: 49:01

And what I find is, when I've shifted through something pretty major, all of a sudden I get these people who message me randomly. You know whether it's they're finding me on the Internet or what, but they, they want to messaging me. And then it's they're finding me on the internet or what, but they, they want to messaging me, and they're. It's not a wishy-washy thing, it's like hi, I'm ready to work with you now, yeah, and that's like the whole conversation, you know. And then, of course, the rest of the conversation goes fine, but that's that's like the. That's their initial response. So I'm like okay, obviously I've made a good shift. I've got somebody new coming in, they're going to show me something that I need to work on too, and I just love it.

Nicki Hu: 49:34

Yeah, I love this part of the conversation of leaning into the energy and leaning into just being you, because you're inherently abundant, like once you do the work there's. There's such a thing as divine timing. To just trust in your divine timing, trust that you're always taken care of, and not focus on the lack thereof, like lack of clients, lack of money, lack of this, lack of that, just follow where you are in the present moment and then everything else will come when it's ready to come.

Blaire Stanislao: 50:01

Yeah, and you know what, I've always kind of believed that, even though I didn't tell anybody else. It's kind of interesting. You're talking about rationalizing, like we want to understand right, and I can remember different periods in my life where somebody has said to me oh, how do you? Basically I will be, you know, in an activity somewhere, like one of them I remember distinctly was like I was teaching, so I was a teacher. It was at lunchtime.

Blaire Stanislao: 50:26

Somebody showed us I don't know if it was a meme or something on Board Panda, which I don't know if you've seen Board Panda, but it's changed over over the years, but this was many years ago and it was really good, like crazy, good, crazy creative, really thought provoking stuff. And this person was mocking artwork from their I want to say it's a renaissance, but basically it's the time period with a girl with a pearl earring I don't know if you know what that is, it's a painting from the Netherlands, okay, and so she was mocking it, but she's like mocking it in an airplane and like she's using the pillow covers and she's, you know, making these jokes. And I busted out laughing and a friend of mine, for some reason that just triggered her and she was like whoever this person is is, she can laugh so wholeheartedly at this, this meme. You know, like I want to be, I want to talk to her, you know. But really it was just being in the moment, you know, and just enjoying myself. And but then later the conversation comes up like well, how do you do that? Or you know, at that point my husband had died, but it was relatively recently, like less than a year, and she was. She's really just amazed at how I could be whatever I was and not be like have it ruining my whole life, which I can't say. It didn't change my whole life.

Blaire Stanislao: 51:44

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