Midlife: Coming Home to Me with Lucy Becks

In this episode, we explore the transformative journey of Lucy Becks, a dedicated women's holistic wellness space holder and medical intuitive practitioner. With a passion for working with women in midlife, Lucy helps alleviate long-term pain, stress, and ailments through natural, gentle, and energetic methods, promoting an increase in joy and love within the soul.

Key Takeaways:

• Lucy's journey from facing personal health crises to discovering her path as a holistic wellness practitioner.
• The power of intuitive reflexology and other alternative therapies in addressing menopause symptoms and enhancing overall well-being.
• The significance of community, connection, and self-discovery for women in midlife.
• Lucy's insights into embracing the transformative potential of midlife as a time of re-emergence and self-actualization.
  
  

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Learn more about Lucy and her offerings: Lulu Belle Therapies
• Monthly Spiritual Walking Meditation: Women’s Midlife Collective
  
  

Dive into this empowering conversation with Lucy Becks and uncover the magic of midlife transformation. 

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Transcript

kylie: [00:00:00] Hello everybody. Welcome to another edition of the podcast. I'm very excited for this chat because there is so much gold just in your answers. Welcome the beautiful Lucy Becks. How are you? 

Lucy: Oh, thank you, Kylie. Uh, thanks for having me and uh, yeah, just giving me this opportunity to meet in this way and connect in this way.

Lucy: It's so exciting. 

kylie: So excited. We were connected actually by, I don't know whether you know this, myself and the beautiful Vanessa, who is Holistic Bliss Magazine's, um, she's CEO. I don't know what her proper title is, but the founder of, um, she and I went to primary school together. 

Lucy: Oh, how amazing. How is that?

Lucy: I know. Yeah. She, she did. She did tell me about that. Yeah. That's so awesome. 

kylie: Long, long ago. So holistic bliss. Um, for those of you who are not on the Sunshine Coast is a beautiful, um, yeah, holistic based heart centered, gorgeous, um, publication, which I think now is [00:01:00] quarterly, is that right? 

Lucy: Yeah, I think it is called, they used to be printed, but then they're not printing anymore.

Lucy: I think COVID probably put a stop to that. And, um, yeah, so I've always loved that magazine, like from years and years ago, I used to pick it up on my way to work. Yeah. 

kylie: I was just on the Sunshine Coast on the weekend. I did exactly that. I was like, right, where can I get myself a holistic place? So shout out to Vanessa, if you're saying, so Lucy, for those people who don't already know you, would you like to share whatever you're called to share about you and your beautiful self and the work you do in the world?

Lucy: Okay. Thanks, Connie. Um, All right, let's start. So I grew up in Zimbabwe and Africa and I moved to Australia about 20 years ago and I'm so grateful that I can call Australia home and live on the Sunshine Coast. Which is [00:02:00] really beautiful. But as we were talking about the humidity and the heat, especially going through the menopause, find that whole humidity and heat challenging.

Lucy: So yeah, maybe one day I'll be moving to Tasmania. 

kylie: Yeah, that's what I was about to say. We can move somewhere cool. I'm actually going in a couple of weeks to New Zealand and I was just talking to my friend over there and I was asking her about temperatures and I'm like, oh my goodness, I am going to be so happy to be there because of the heat in the body.

Lucy: And I went overseas end of last year and it was Um, I just love the coldness and, and I actually thanked my menopause, like, I don't feel as cold as everybody else. Yes. I've got a little 

kylie: motor running. I've got a little motor running. Yeah. Um, I am really looking forward to having a chat to you about, because you, you found yourself at, um, Oh, I was going to say crisis point.

kylie: I'm not sure you would say crisis, but at a [00:03:00] point where a lot of. different changes, which we're creating a grief response and a feeling of stuckness and stress at a stage in your life. And then you have now, because of all of that, made some huge changes and do very different work in the world to what you used to.

kylie: So, um, one of the things I wanted to ask you, You said in your answers that you started your perimenopause journey quite early. So around about 36, although we do know that that is actually just the average ish end of our thirties. Um, what was your experience of that? Because you had a huge transformative point in point in time.

Lucy: Yeah, I think, um, it just came to, you know, a lot of years just piled on top of each other. Um, Yeah. heavy blood flows. And, um, my husband was working away at the time. I had to get my son to school, had a full time job. It [00:04:00] was just crisis overload really. And, um, as I was saying to you, I had, uh, endometriosis really badly.

Lucy: So I've had a lot of surgeries over the years to try and clear that, um, even had it right up into my chest cavity. Um, Had it, uh, covered in covering all my organs and yeah, it got to the point where I had to make a decision on how to get through this, um, with on my own, basically. And I did make the hard decision to have a hysterectomy, which, um, is a bit of a bombshell because I don't actually talk about that to many people.

Lucy: Oh, wow. Because I, it was a very personal journey and it wasn't a place I really wanted to find myself being. And, um, yeah, so even on the day of the operation, I decided that, uh, I went in and, but my whole body was just like really feeling the [00:05:00] resistance of going through with it. I, I had a partial, which, um, as you might know, is I kept my ovaries and yeah.

Lucy: I was sort of okay. And, um, I recovered really well and carried on with life. Probably about five years went by and, uh, I got started getting these little hot flushes and things. And, um, Yeah, so that's when I went to the doctor and I just thought, I really am not managing with this very well. And I, I think I started on something like some pills or something, which I wasn't happy about because I'm not into the pills or anything.

Lucy: And, uh, I, Took them and started feeling better. So is it that not that? Anyway, after a few years progressed, I did end up, um, on the HRT patch. Also didn't want to be on it, but felt better on it. And over the years, I've actually tried to come off it, [00:06:00] but every time I've tried to come off it, it's been really horrendous.

Lucy: Yeah. And last year there was a worldwide shortage of the patch and yeah, so I, that's when I thought, Oh no, I can come off it now. And yeah, it didn't go down well. And yeah, I found myself in quite a tricky place, but I did get back on it and keep going. And yeah, so that's, that was where that sort of perimenopause and my journey began.

Lucy: And, and because I had so much else going on in my life. I found like I was stuck in a corner really. And that's when I started doing small alternate therapies. And, uh, Oh, I involved with coaches trying to find out what I could do with my life and was not. enjoying my jobs that, you know, I was in financial administration and, uh, 

kylie: my entire body [00:07:00] just I shouldn't have that response.

kylie: The actual 

Lucy: job was fine. I'm a very homebody, so I wanted to be at home, but I just, I had to go into the office and only I could do my job. Nobody else could do my job. And it got to the point where, um, I had to go overseas a lot because my brother was ill and then my mother as well. And then they both had passed away within three years of each other.

Lucy: So I had all that to deal with and, um, stuff going on at home as well. And that is when I just thought I can't do this nine to five anymore. It's not, I would be driving to work and thinking, what am I doing? What am I doing? Um, I tried to resign several times that didn't work and, um, anyway, yeah, eventually I started studying for the reflexology diploma and, uh, yeah, I started my practice and I still did my job on the side.

Lucy: So I did like, I was doing three or four days a week and, [00:08:00] uh, started my practice, which started off very clinical to start with. And, um, and then I started adding other. Sort of spiritual modalities and that's where basically it's led me to now. Here and now and, and that's what I call myself an intuitive reflexologist.

Lucy: I love that. 

kylie: Oh my goodness. I've got so many, as usual in interviews, my brain is like going in 10 different directions. I actually want to Reverse and ask you a question about the hysterectomy end of things, because, um, I have not had a hysterectomy. I've had friends that have, and I'm astounded that the gynecologists that do these operations have not mentioned to any of my friends at all, the impacts of ongoing in terms of, um, if you do take ovaries as well, like starting menopause, and even if you don't take ovaries, how perimenopause can Speed up or ramp up is my understanding.

kylie: I'm not an expert in any of [00:09:00] that end of things. Will you talk to you about. I can't really 

Lucy: recall much information that was given to me actually, but, uh, I think knowing that I had the ovaries, so I actually was doing okay for about five or six years, um, afterwards. And then when that started happening, That I went to the doctor and they said, Oh, no, you've got a variant failure.

Lucy: And, um, yeah, apparently that's the word for you going into menopause. So 

kylie: premature ovarian failure technically is not at the age you were, but anyway, 

Lucy: 46, then 46, 47 is not, 

kylie: it's not premature as POI. I've actually just done a fact sheet on that. And that is incorrect, but anyway, that's fine. Well, I think that's 

Lucy: what the, he had said to me, but, um, Yeah, I don't think I was given really enough information or perhaps.

Lucy: I was pushed in the right direction to maybe see some other people. And that's when I thought to myself, [00:10:00] I had to go and find other answers for myself. But I was put in contact, my doctor, my GP put me in contact with an endocrinologist. And, um, so I worked with her for a little bit. Can't really remember how much I got out of it.

Lucy: But as we've progressed over the years, like the last couple of years, my fatigue has been really bad. Um, then I found out that I had a thyroid dysfunction as well. And then I've just been diagnosed last week with a celiac disease as well. 

kylie: Oh, awesome. Excellent. 

Lucy: All hormonal. All 

kylie: hormonal. Yeah. Yeah. Immune based.

kylie: Like 

Lucy: a full basket of madness. I know. 

kylie: That's what it feels like to have ADHD and autism and perimenopause at the same time. And in country Queensland, I will just tell you, oestrogen is. As is in as short supply is what you were just talking about a year ago. Um, I actually just did a little happy dance because I was on the [00:11:00] Sunshine Coast and I went to a chemist and they actually had the estrogen that I needed.

kylie: And I think the chemist thought that I had lost my marbles because I literally did a dance in the chemist because At the same time in Australia, my ADHD medication is also not available. So the, the two of them colliding and the fact that our hormones and neurotransmitters are like doing a dance already.

kylie: So when one is impacted, the other automatically is impacted. That has been really, really tricky. However, I have to say, I can see the blessing in that as well, because I have not been able to, and I never did have this kind of frame of mind, but it certainly has forced me to look at Other ways to support myself that also help.

kylie: And yes, I totally agree with you when I don't have, and I have been using gel instead of a patch and I hate it. It makes me feel really agitated and on edge and reactive and [00:12:00] yucky. Um, so I'd rather not use anything, but, um, I would have to say that it has, the invitation has been there. To also look at, am I sleeping enough?

kylie: Am I drinking enough water? Am I eating a diet that my body can use? And, you know, is nourished by all of those simple things. Um, and I think as we were talking about before we started recording the gift of all of the. stresses and the changes colliding is that sometimes they do force us to go looking for other answers because there's no way of continuing the way we always have done.

Lucy: Yeah. And I think, um, I've had this conversation with, um, other people where. A lot happens during midlife. Um, you know, you've come to the point where you've gone through all your twenties, thirties, you've had different jobs, you've had different life experiences. Um, you might lose a loved one. You there's so much that you've [00:13:00] experienced.

Lucy: And I think that's why you get to that point where something's got to change. But I also felt like, um, and I say this to other people is in. I feel like early 40s, especially for women become very insurative. And that's that. I think that's when they start asking questions, um, about, you know, what I want from life and understanding like the, the, the need to have a bit more self care and, you know, And I think that's where I found myself in my early forties is looking for, looking for a way out of the nine to five, but also like trying to find where, where do I fit in here?

Lucy: And, um, where do I feel happy? And, uh, you know, what, what am I good at and things like that. Um, and that's what took me on that journey of, um, self space, self discovery, but, um, did a lot of self development and really. Got to know myself and what I actually want from life. And yeah, so I just [00:14:00] found like, yeah, a lot of happened for me in my early forties.

Lucy: And yeah, just started feeling a lot more just before turning 50, feeling quite grounded, I suppose, and excited about this phase and life and, you know, Cause people tell me about, um, I work with other women who like maybe are in their sixties and they've been through the phase and they say, Oh no, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Lucy: There's a re emergence. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. So that's what excites me. Like, um, yeah, that's what we were talking about before this, this magic to be had in this phase. 

kylie: So much magic. And I should say happy birthday because you just had your birthday. Happy, happy birthday. I turn 50 next January. So just behind you.

kylie: Um, I also constantly hear from people post menopausally how much, yeah, they are comfortable in their skin. They're happy setting boundaries. They know who they are and what their gifts are and what they don't like doing. And, you know, and [00:15:00] I think. What a gift because if we were able to, if there wasn't this change in our hormones and the way our brains and our ovaries have a chat and whatever, maybe we would be constantly in the doing of that busy early stage of life where it was just, I don't know.

kylie: I feel like I was unconscious for a lot of those years. Cause I was just, you know, going through the daily grind. I was really disconnected from how my body felt and how I was emotionally feelings. I hadn't learned to feel safe in my body yet. And that's been another great gift of perimenopause is being forced because yes, I will say that if anyone has any trauma in the background of their experience, it will come to the surface in perimenopause, no doubt about it, but.

kylie: What a gift, because then you get, you have a choice, I guess, is what I feel like. And I also feel, yeah, newly, I'm not men, I'm not at menopause yet, but I do feel, [00:16:00] I, I wrote about this yesterday. I feel like I'm held between, I feel like I can trust the fact that I can be anchored to who I am, but I also feel very connected to, I don't know, being, this is going to be, I know you will appreciate this because I, you are no doubt as woo as I am, but I am more closet woo than you, I think, but I, I have this sense of being held between, You know, the darkness and the richness and this beautiful grounding of the earth and the sky, which is, you know, full of light and expansive.

kylie: And I just feel very goosebumps, 

Lucy: feel 

kylie: very at home. Yeah. Being held between those two forces. And I'm much more trusting of how things are unfolding too. I don't feel as much of a drive to strive and push anymore. 

Lucy: And 

kylie: the less I do [00:17:00] that, the more magic unfolds. And I'm like, if I'd known this years ago, but I wouldn't have trusted it years ago.

kylie: I know that about myself. 

Lucy: Also it's, um, sometimes it's not about, um, being bothered about striving some more, but it's like, Do I want to spend my energy on that? Like, um, I think I'll conserve it for something else. Something that I care about. I love what you say about the nature and the earth and the sky.

Lucy: Because I've found I've always loved nature and being out in nature, but It's really played a big part, probably in the last five or six years for me. And that's where I go to. That's my, that's my grounding place. That's where I restore my energy. And, um, so yeah, that plays a massive part in my life, uh, nature, 

kylie: beautiful, beautiful Nature.

kylie: Yeah. And I, I was actually just showing my friend, no one listening to the podcast will be able to hear this, but I planted gerberas the other day and I [00:18:00] got my first, the color doesn't show up on a screen, but it's this deep, deep orange color. And yeah, I go out and, and, uh, water her every day. It's become a little ritual for me because yeah, I am.

kylie: I can get very hyper focused in my work and forget that I need water and sunlight and, you know, all of those basic things, basically like a house plant. So, um, yeah, I think, and I also think too, as we were talking about before, like feeling like you're in that high summer of your life where, you know, perimenopause is bringing all the heat and all of that, you know, the veil is lifting, like you said, it was like, I, I heard that once, um, described as when the hormone of accommodation, which is oestrogen starts to fall, all of a sudden the veil goes up, it's like, hang on a minute, what am I putting up with here?

kylie: What am I no longer, um, tolerating or is no longer sustainable or whatever? But I do, I feel like being out in nature just reminds me that there's a purpose [00:19:00] for every season. You know, I would love it to be spring all the time, but that is not possible without the other seasons and the contrast and the purpose of all of them.

kylie: So, 

Lucy: yeah, yeah, that's really, um, I agree with that. And yeah, it's, everything has a cycle and everything in life has a cycle. I often say to my group of women that if they're no longer bleeding for whatever reason, um, To use the lunar cycles just to guide them and it just gives them a bit of sense of, of a cycle and, um, just like what they can work on in certain areas of the lunar cycle, which is.

Lucy: I love the new moon. That's my favorite. Yeah. Restarting. Let's restart this. 

kylie: I'm so excited. I won't, I won't talk much about it because I don't, I don't want to, um, break the magic of, of what I've just joined, but I have joined a program [00:20:00] where. We follow the wheel of all of the, yeah, key nice equinoxes. And I just feel like I felt very drawn to that because I felt like over the last little while when I restarted my business in the first 18 months has been about constant growth and I've just allowed myself to get way too busy and I was completely disconnected from what that beautiful moon was doing out there.

kylie: And even the seasons, it's like, Oh, I just put the air con on. I can power through like that type of thing. And I was like, Whoa, okay. The invitation here is to, um, yeah, reconnect and, and to understand. Yeah. It just noticed, like I wasn't noticing anymore. And I'm like, how has this happened? Like I've always been the woman out in the backyard doing weird things under the moon, but I haven't been lately.

kylie: So I'm really excited about, um, I wanted to talk to you too. I, when you were drawn to reflexology, you talk about, you had reflexology [00:21:00] as part of, cause you had an infertility journey as well, which we haven't, we haven't, um, talked Touched on what was that first experience of reflexology like, because I love the stories of the golden threads that lead people to the work they're meant to be doing in 

Lucy: the world.

Lucy: So, yeah, I was, I got married really young. I was only 19. And, um, Yeah, I just, I wanted to have heaps of children and yeah, just couldn't figure out why I wasn't falling pregnant. I went to a lot of specialists, uh, saw a lot of doctors and, uh, I had some laparoscope to just, you know, exploration surgery. And that's when I, I found, they found out I had, um, endometriosis.

Lucy: Which I mean, I think I was probably about 23. I had no idea what that was. And so I ended up having a couple of surgeries, laser surgeries, um, which had to travel quite far to Johannesburg because we lived in Zimbabwe and um, Yeah, so I [00:22:00] had those surgeries and then they said that would help me fall pregnant and I went back home and waited a couple of months, but I also started getting into like, um, I loved herbs and my herb garden and naturopaths and I saw homeopaths and And I, yeah, just, you know, pulled out all the stops and explored a few different things.

Lucy: And I'm surprised, even at that age, I was sort of drawn to that and then being in Zimbabwe, there actually wasn't that much available, but, yeah. Yeah. Somebody put me in contact with a reflexologist and within, I think it was within six months, I felt pregnant. But both my husband and I went for, uh, I think every two weeks we had a session.

Lucy: And yeah, the next thing, yeah, I was pregnant. And, um, yeah, he, she was born on. 23rd of February, 1999. He's 25 now. Um, yeah, so [00:23:00] I got my baby and yeah, so I was chuffed, but then we've had a lot of, um, you know, there was a lot of political unrest in Zimbabwe and that's why we had to leave, but yeah, it was, yeah.

Lucy: Arriving in Australia was pretty stressful and starting a new life and I did go and explore and I had, I did have IVF again in Australia, but I think just, yeah, there was just so much going on. And yeah, we just, Just really happy we've had our little baby boy who's now massive. 

kylie: It's like a puppy. I think they're going to stay this little bit.

Lucy: So, yeah. And then, um, I suppose I forgot about reflexology and I would, if, if I was going for a massage, I would always ask for reflexology and, and then, yeah, early forties thought like, what am I going to do with my life? And, I spent some time with some coaches [00:24:00] and I don't know how we ended up landing on reflexology.

Lucy: But I also wanted to study aromatherapy as well and, and herb, um, become a herbalist. So I was like, 

kylie: you're living my best life. And 

Lucy: then I settled on the reflexology and did a diploma in that. But a lot was going on while I was doing that diploma because my brother was ill and then my mum fell ill. Yeah.

Lucy: So, but I did finish that and that was 2017, I think. And yeah, just, yeah, got my life going. And then, uh, like I told you before, just, I had my clinic at home and I was also working as well. So that was, I did Fridays and Saturdays at home. And then that started off very clinical and. But as I was adding different modalities, I just found this new rhythm and this new intuitive way to do things.

Lucy: And, and that's why I have different services. I offer different reflexology. I [00:25:00] have a reflexology for the soul, um, which is to simply describe it. I say it's reflexology with, uh, infused with Reiki, but that's just a simple version. Sign me up. Sign me up. That's, it involves. spiritual download messages, um, Oracle cards, crystal grids.

Lucy: Um, so when someone books in for that, I know what they're coming for. And then I also offer Thai foot massage and head massage. So I just, I know what people are coming for and the reasons they're coming. Yeah. 

kylie: Amazing. Yeah. 

Lucy: So yeah, that's sort of just developed over the years and yeah, now I'm full time from home.

Lucy: I wish I'd 

kylie: known this when I was on the Sunshine Coast on the weekend. Oh no, were you on the coast? Yeah, I was at Yoruba for the weekend. Oh, it's Yoruba? Yes, for four days. Oh no, Yoruba's? Pullum, just near 

Lucy: Pullum. Oh, it's not far from me by the way. It's only about [00:26:00] 20 minutes. I will 

kylie: be back because we had, we were booked in Malula bar.

kylie: This is our family Christmas weekend. So four families come together with three and a half hours from the coast and we had accommodation booked and they canceled with a week and a half to go, which I was incredibly stressed by. And then I just went, I'm just going to trust that we will find the right place.

kylie: And this place that you were on bar was like, A treehouse, it was right on the beach, three levels, a slippery slide for the kids from the top level down, a beautiful big pool, and just the most gorgeous feeling energy, and then inside you find this beautiful book that talks about how Um, three generations of this family bought the house and have renovated it and added these huge decks and, oh, just astoundingly good.

kylie: Um, I did actually, I studied, um, Zentai Shiatsu a long time ago, um, [00:27:00] and used to treat at your Monday markets and we went to the markets on the weekend and I just, I needed physical touch, but energy. I've been working way too much, 

Lucy: and I 

kylie: just trusted that the right Zentai practitioner would be at the tent on Saturday.

kylie: And I had the most divine treatment. And even though I'm a Zentai Shiatsu practitioner, um, the young gentleman that was there did a lot of healing. Specifically oiled foot massage and also oiled abdominal massage. Oh my Lord. I just about floated home and I just, my heart was like, this is home. This is home.

kylie: This is home. This is where I feel home. But yeah. 

Lucy: I'm probably about 15 minutes from your mouth. Next 

kylie: time, because I am going back to that house. I'm a hundred percent going back. It's 

Lucy: amazing. You ended up at that beach place. It's amazing. Because the universe [00:28:00] put you there. Exactly. 

kylie: Yeah. And where we were going to be when we picked it, there was going to be less people and it's quite busy on the spit and everything.

kylie: And I just really needed to just ground and be in nature. And that's exactly what this house was. It was perfect. So nice. So good. Um, I'm interested when you say, when you look back at the version of your, of Lucy, that was Um, very clinical focus to start with. And then you found your rhythm and I know you've said that you have learned different modalities, but do you feel like that's also been partly just trusting yourself and trusting your gift more?

kylie: Because I feel like that is also what tends to happen at midlife if we let it. That we realize. 

Lucy: Yeah, I think the reason I added the other modalities, because while I was doing my clinical hours, we had to do 220 hours in clinic, um, in the student clinic before we were, um, [00:29:00] released to the wild. Population.

Lucy: And a I started having things occur while I was seeing clients there. Uh, so I wasn't scared of whatever was happening because I just trusted that. But there was like a fine line of when to talk to the client about that. And some people are coming for different reasons and some are for others, and some are open to it and some aren't.

Lucy: So I was very careful of not, um, you know, overloading a client with with anything like that. And if once I get to know a client, then I would see if, okay, well, okay, then they are, then we will talk about that. But, um, and that's why I developed the intuitive, uh, side where it's, I'd have the, just my signature offer, which is reflexology for the soul.

Lucy: Um, and that goes for about two hours. I know why people are coming. Yeah. [00:30:00] So it's, I had to separate the two, um, cause otherwise too much was going on because it's the reflexology for the soul just takes a lot of time and, um, it's quite a different kind of session to, to just the, the nice relaxation.

Lucy: Sounds 

kylie: very nourishing on a whole other level apart from a physical treatment. 

Lucy: Yeah. 

kylie: Mmm. I'm coming. He's coming with me. I actually did have a little ping when we were at this house. I'm like, should run a retreat. And then I will just get all these amazing therapy people to come to this beautiful tree house and just provide nourishment.

kylie: And I will find My friend who used to do beautiful, um, organic food and stuff has actually moved overseas, but I would find someone else to do organic food. There you go. DM me people out there in podcast land, if you want to come to a Sunshine Coast retreat, I'll make it happen. And we'll [00:31:00] get Lucy over and we'll all have everything.

kylie: Um, when, uh, you began getting those, so when you say I'm getting different information, do you mean, more of the energetic or sort of. I don't know where the psychic is. Yeah. I like to say that 

Lucy: the, um, the feet or the energetic portal to the soul, because it's almost like, as soon as I touch the feet, I, I start sort of connect with, I say like on a soul level and, um, I connect not necessarily with past people or it can be about anything, actually.

Lucy: It can be about the chakras blocked, or, um, it can be about a food that they should or shouldn't be eating. It could be about minerals or vitamins that they need. Uh, crystals will come into it. It'll be, uh, there might be flowers, um, angels. Angels don't happen too often, but yeah, some people it does. Um, yeah, that's why I say every single session is [00:32:00] unique because one time you come, like say you came today, the next time you come will be completely different because.

Lucy: Yeah. It's on the day, but as soon as people book in, I start getting downloads and I actually. Start making a few notes and before people arrive and then during the session, I'll be making notes. And then at the end of the session, we'll do, um, a recording of the audio just on the feedback and yeah. So yeah, it's, it's quite amazing.

Lucy: Um, and it's, it's quite hard to explain sometimes because it can be so random and so out there and that's what I say to people, I say, just take what resonates with you because. you know, and, and go and explore whatever I've said, because I don't want to be saying, I'm telling you this, go and do this. I want you to go and do that for yourself and explore.

Lucy: And sometimes there'll [00:33:00] be like, uh, flowers and the spiritual, meaning behind it and the symbolisms and, um, also get a lot of symbols as well. Um, also depending on the person too, but, um, it's just encouraging people to go and do that research themselves and take what they need rather than me saying you go and do this.

Lucy: Yeah. I'm big about, um, being your own health advocates and being responsible for your own health and. Yeah. So you go and do that research and see what lands for you. And, and if it does, it does. And sometimes it can, might not make sense now, but it might do in a few months time. 

kylie: Yeah. Yeah. That's what often happens to me.

kylie: I usually around my birthday in January, I'll have some sort of like reading or astrology or whatever, like some, something like that. And often like it, something doesn't kind of make any sense to me in the [00:34:00] moment. And then like three months down the track, I'm like, Oh, that actually makes sense. It's like click, click, click.

kylie: Okay. Um, I love what you're talking about too, because I feel like it is really important to me. In all aspects of life, but particularly when you find yourself in, you know, shifts or changes like menopause, that you, uh, that you practice self agency, that you don't just listen to an expert and then magic pill it because that actually may not be everything you need.

kylie: It may not be anything you need, and you need to filter what they're, you know, 

Lucy: Yeah. I say, I also say there's no magic pill and um, there's no overnight cure and I'm just only here to guide you, um, because people do come and they're feeling stuck and like not knowing what direction to take and yeah. It's like, I can guide you, but I'm not going to necessarily do it for you or tell you what to do.

Lucy: [00:35:00] Um, because you, you've got to work that out and, and also I think it's the responsibility of it. And, and also that's come from learning my own experiences that I've learned, you know, 

kylie: yep. I look back at when I used to coach like in my last iteration of business. And I think, Oh, I definitely wouldn't choose to say some of the things that I did back then because I was this naive, you know, early 30 year old who thought that she had everything worked out.

kylie: And now I look back and I think, Hmm, a lot of what I would share definitely feels true to me, but I think the way that I delivered it sometimes, I definitely would not choose to do that because I think part of my burning myself out in that iteration of my business was being looked to, to be the answer for people rather than Um, just a guide to open up the awareness of your own answers or to find your own way your path or whatever.

kylie: Um, [00:36:00] yes, it's interesting what age does, isn't it? Lucy, let's talk about you bringing women in midlife together in circle. So how did that happen? Um, and I am just so glad that there's people like you doing this. There's nothing like this anywhere near me. And. I don't want to do it online. I want real people.

kylie: So yeah, how did it, how did it unfold to do the midlife circles? 

Lucy: Oh, I think I just saw like what I needed. I wanted the connection and um, I, I needed the connection and the, I suppose like the ceremony and the, it's almost like a, for me sometimes it's like primal. It's like, yeah, ritualistic. 

kylie: Yeah. 

Lucy: Rituals.

Lucy: That's what I was getting at. And. Yeah, so I, I started it, um, a while back and then that's the, the woman's midlife collective was formed, but I've had a [00:37:00] couple of, you know, circles here and there, but I wasn't honing in on my, so that sort of niche and probably in the last sort of, Six months to a year. Um, I've got a private Facebook group with the women's called the Women's Midlife Collective and it's grown heaps.

Lucy: I was offering a few online ones, which also like, but that was because I was finding it hard energy wise to go out and find a center or somewhere to do it, but also packing the car, taking everything. 

kylie: I feel you. Same with yoga. I was teaching yoga and I'm like, Oh my God, I love it when I'm there, but just the packing up and.

kylie: Oh yeah. 

Lucy: I love the actual, you know, the time there and then packing up, but then I'd find I get home and I was absolutely exhausted and I could barely function the next day. I 

kylie: relate. Yeah. 

Lucy: Um. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so [00:38:00] I've, I did have one, just had one in January and no, sorry, February. And yeah, we're just a group of women, different ranges of sort of fifties, mid sixties and I usually do, uh, meditation and I'll do a channeled meditation and, uh, cacao ceremony.

Lucy: And then I think the best part is, um, sitting and talking, um, and just having a cup of chai afterwards and just sitting and chatting and people talk about what they're doing. How the meditation was and, um, and that, I think that's where the connection is really beautiful, um, because you get your first bit, which is for you, um, and in the ceremony and then the bit where you can share and connect.

Lucy: So yeah. And it's, yeah, there's no, right. There's no wrong. Yeah, just come and be, and yeah, be seen and be heard. 

kylie: So good. Especially when I feel, I [00:39:00] think it is part of the psychological shift in early perimenopause that a lot of us, or a lot of my friends and clients that I've spoken to, have experienced.

kylie: tend to do at least a period of isolating or withdrawing from things. I felt a very strong drive to just be in my own space and not, um, not have to deal with anyone else or, or compromise anything or whatever. I just felt very, I don't know. Fragile is not the right word. Tender. I felt tender. And anytime I interacted with people, it was like, I had all these raw edges that got kind of frazzled.

kylie: And so I just stopped doing it. Um, but now I'm like, Oh, I've withdrawn from so many things. And now I have this desire to connect and connect in real life, not necessarily online. Cause I think, you know, online is amazing. I love that we can be sitting in two different places and recording a podcast that people will listen to for months and years down the track.

kylie: But I just think. You can't replace what it feels like to be [00:40:00] in circle. And I think there's so much of. gathering in circle that we've lost, including the ritual of it. And the, just the simplicity of co regulation, like we all talk about regulation as if it's a new thing. It is. 

Lucy: I like that word. I actually just learned that word this last week.

Lucy: I mean, um, I did a somatic training, uh, facilitated training last week. And that word came up a lot. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's 

kylie: having its moment in the sun, like menopause. But I mean, I saw a post, I should have saved it somewhere, on Instagram. There was a beautiful series of drawings that described co regulation in really simple terms.

kylie: And I was just like, I think because there is a rise of somatic therapies and we're using this co regulation term as if it's a new thing. It's like, it's actually not a new thing. We've been doing it for centuries. Like we, well, not even centuries from the beginning of time, [00:41:00] from the beginning of any sort of, um, human.

kylie: Um, but yeah, just being in circle and giving and receiving of that support and nourishment, just space to be heard and seen no matter how you turn up. It's such a powerful thing. And I feel like, you know, I don't know, after almost probably a few decades of taking care of lots of other things like careers and babies, if that was part of our, you know, um, life plan or whatever, all of a sudden we like, hang on a minute, what do I actually need?

kylie: Like, where do I, um, go to be? Offered support or held or whatever. Um, yeah, it's a beautiful thing. Um, for people that are listening on the Sunshine Coast or, or for anyone, how do we find the Facebook group? And we'll put all these things in the show notes and I have got other questions. I just want to. So 

Lucy: the woman's midlife collective, you can probably type it into Facebook.

Lucy: It's a private group. So yeah, you just, if you just asked [00:42:00] to join. Um, So that's, it's a very nurtured space where, um, I actually have a speaker come once a month. And so I have sort of themes like this month has actually been about grief. So have a speaker, then we have, um, the theme. And then I also I'm writing for Holistic Bliss at the moment as well, uh, as a columnist.

Lucy: So, um, share my articles there, but I also get other women to share, like if they're in business and, um, they can share what they're doing. Their businesses, but also like personal stuff as well. Like what, how's their midlife going and what their hot tips are off course. So 

kylie: it's just 

Lucy: really a space to. Yeah, for women to come together and just, you know, support each other.

Lucy: And yeah, that's what I love is women supporting women really. Um, yeah, just like, [00:43:00] like that, you know, women to do that and support each other rather than, you know, butt heads. 

kylie: Yeah, exactly. And also a very different. feeling and safe place compared to some of the, I've very early on in my perimenopause journey, I joined a whole heap of Facebook groups that had menopause in the title thinking that I'd learned things, but I've now disengaged from every single one of them.

kylie: And I never used to post, but I was constantly astounded at how much like just flat out negativity there was about menopause and the change of life and all these things. And I'm like, if we just understand that all of that. Or a lot of the negativity that is being spoken about is because we have been programmed with this desire to always be this slender 20 to 30 something that can procreate and have unlimited energy.

kylie: And it's like, we're just not meant to [00:44:00] be like that for the rest of our lives. Thank God. Like, you know, um, but yeah, I, I feel like When I find spaces online that have a different point of view about midlife being, and like I said before, I've definitely gone through very, a lot of painful transformation parts of perimenopause and a lot of grief about different things as well.

kylie: But also, um, I'm now starting to really appreciate the flip side of that, which is the power that that unlocks when you are brought to your knees and have to find different ways of being. And I think what you're doing with bringing people together in a collective is that women who are still pre the point in time, that's called menopause can hear from the people that are posts and go, Oh, there's, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

kylie: And I love, um, Anne Marie from hot flash Inc. always says this is going somewhere good. And I just love that. I love that frame of reference. It's like, it might be absolute shit today, but it is going [00:45:00] somewhere good. Um, so yeah, I'm grateful for women like you who provide safe spaces to be able to have that sharing of stories and understanding that, yeah, it isn't, it isn't all bad news.

Lucy: Yeah. And I think it's come from, you know, over time speaking to people and finding out some true facts out there and, you know, because a lot of people are afraid to talk about it and have those open conversations. And yeah, and I'm just like, well, come on, it's happening. 

kylie: Out with it. That's what I'm like.

Lucy: Let's talk about this. Because everyone's talking about it. So individual and they're going through their own journey. So, um, and I've said, you know, one patch doesn't fit us all. You know, it's like, we also individual and on different paths and yeah, we can just share, you know, some people might have similar things going on.

kylie: Yeah. And share what's worked and what's challenging us. My kids are constantly embarrassed because [00:46:00] everywhere I go with them, I end up talking about menopause. One of them on the weekend, we're in a fish and chip shop and I'm talking to the woman behind the counter about menopause and she's like, for God's sake, mom, through gritted teeth.

kylie: That is enough. And I was like, Oh, okay, sorry, too far upsetting the apple cart of the family, but I'm just like, Yeah. This poor lady was just, you know, uh, uh, um, in the middle of what was obviously some sort of heat event. And I don't know whether she was menopausal or not, but I was like, Oh, do you want me to just fan you for a second?

kylie: So I just was fanning her with the menu and Barely not on board with this behavior, but I just think if we're talking more about it, hopefully by the time my girls get to be at this life stage, they're not going to be blindsided like a lot of us were. And they'll have their eyes more wide open about all the different ways that we can support ourselves.

kylie: And I mean, I 

Lucy: don't think I ever had a conversation about [00:47:00] this with my mother or, you know, even, even having a period. And, um, That was a whole different, um, kettle of fish. Maybe that's not a good word to use. That was, you know, just a whole different time and place where nobody spoke about it. And there was a lot of shame around it.

Lucy: And I even think for menopause, there's, there's shame around it as well. And the woman I felt to feel ashamed for whatever reason, but also like to say to women, you know, just, you know, You have to do what you have to do. If you need to take something, take it and don't feel the shame in doing that because I think some people feel the shame like to say, okay, well I take HRT or, you know, um, I don't want to take it, but I'm taking it or because there's a lot of, um, what's the word?

Lucy: There's a lot of stigma, but, um, judgment, judgment, 

kylie: judgment is a good word, [00:48:00] 

Lucy: taking those things. It's your individual journey. And what is going to get you through that? And if it means that, and that's what you find this helps, then, you know, go for it. 

kylie: And I also think, I think we need to be more clear in my own personal lived experience.

kylie: Um, mental health wise was my, my, by far my most challenging, um, symptom that really did blindside me. It was like when I turned 47, I just click, switch was on. And I look back now and I go, I can see the changes were starting at about 43, but 47 was that point in time where I was still trying to do it all.

kylie: Like I used to be doing it when I was 20. And I literally fell in a heap. And I always say to people, if they are either judging someone else or maybe judging themselves about HRT, I'm like, without HRT, I really seriously think that I would still be thinking about not [00:49:00] being on the planet and taking HRT has allowed me to have a better baseline so that then I can take care of myself better.

kylie: So I move far more. I, you know, so if you, uh, In a place where life is so challenging that you are not able to meet your own basic needs. And even if you're not, even if you just feel like crap and you really want some support, like stop shaming yourself. And yeah. And I always say, you know, It's never permanent.

kylie: Like you can try it if you don't like it. Will you stop? And I've had to do that a few times with HRT to figure out what works and 

Lucy: yeah, there's trial and error. I mean, I've, I'm eventually the place where I found that the patches worked for me. So I'm quite happy with it. So me 

kylie: too, when I can get them to come to the sunshine coast, have a treatment with you, get some more estrogen.

Lucy: You should get, um, did they let you get the whole batch, maybe [00:50:00] one. One every day or something 

kylie: you were only allowed to get. Um, I think the chemist that I did that little boogie with on the weekend allowed me to lots, but only because I looked so desperate. I literally do think because she said, I really can't give you two.

kylie: And I'm like, I must have looked like a drug seeking person, but, um, anyway, um, how do you think? your 20 something year old self would see all these changes that have unfolded through and like you said in your original answers like stress pain and grief being pivotal markers for change so meeting these transition points and having again and again to kind of choose a different way, a different way, a different way.

kylie: And you've been nudged into this beautiful practice of yours and creating collective circles. What would she think about how you live now? [00:51:00] 

Lucy: She, I think it was pretty cool actually, because I think she was looking for something back then, way back then. Yeah. Maybe not understand exactly. Maybe think I was a bit of a hippie, but, um, she, I think she would be pretty cool about it because.

Lucy: Yeah. I was into that kind of stuff way back and there was something tangible then, but I just, there wasn't much available. And also, you know, we didn't have the internet or anything like that. So it was books or, you know, anybody else who wanted to talk about it. And I grew up in a very conservative place and in a very conservative way as well.

Lucy: Um, so I was probably classified as a bit, bit of being weird. 

kylie: Same as I. We're in good company. 

Lucy: That's just, that's what made me happy and especially I was in my, those twenties I was very into my herbs and things. I loved my [00:52:00] garden. So yeah, I mean, I could have ended up being a herbalist. Who knows? Maybe.

kylie: That's my list. I always think if I could do, if I didn't have to earn an income, or if I didn't choose to earn an income from something, I would be a permanent student. In fact, I was enrolled in naturopathy and then COVID came in. I withdrew and never went back, but I want to study urology, naturopathy, homeopathy.

kylie: Um, traditional Chinese medicine, herbalism, acupuncture, um, yeah, the list goes on. And like you, I've always been, yeah, I've 

Lucy: been, you know, I've done so many courses over time and I've, I've got better at selecting the ones that I really want to do. And, um, last year I decided to not do any at all because I found it was distracting me from what I was actually trying to achieve.

Lucy: Yeah. Um, yeah. So yeah, this year I've been a bit more selective in what I want to do and where I want to focus [00:53:00] my time and energy. 

kylie: Discernment, another gift of menopause. Knowing what is and is not for me. Whoopsie backs, you have been an absolute joy. Where do we find you online? We haven't talked about your website.

Lucy: Okay, so I have a website. Site. Mm-Hmm, . And that's, um, ww dot l label be therapies.com au. And you can also find me on Facebook, uh, l LaBelle therapies and Instagram. Put all of 

kylie: them in the show notes so that you can easy peasy. Just click away. Thank you so much for your time and wisdom. It's been lovely to get to know you.

kylie: And Vanessa Finnegan is a bit of a legend when she knows how to, she's the 

Lucy: connector. She isn't she? 

kylie: Yeah. I was just like, Oh, I know Lucy's my people because if Vanessa says she is, she is, 

Lucy: yeah. Thanks so much for having me and just connecting in this way. It's been really good. And yeah, I look forward to seeing the outcome.

kylie: And for everyone [00:54:00] listening just quietly, that was Lucy's very first podcast interview, and she was a star. So consider yourself podcasted. 

Lucy: Thank you. 

kylie: so much. All 

Lucy: right. See you. Cheers.