Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast

Sober Socialising and Building a Strong Community

July 28, 2024 Isabella Ferguson and Meg Webb Episode 92
Sober Socialising and Building a Strong Community
Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast
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Not Drinking (Alcohol) Today Podcast
Sober Socialising and Building a Strong Community
Jul 28, 2024 Episode 92
Isabella Ferguson and Meg Webb

Ever wondered how embracing patience, persistence, and resilience can transform your life? Join us as we speak with Mags Sheridan, an embodiment coach whose journey of quitting alcohol and embracing sobriety since 2016 has profoundly reshaped her world. Mags delves into her extensive involvement with SMART Recovery, a program that employs cognitive and rational emotive behavioral therapy tools to tackle a wide range of addictions.

In this episode, we emphasise the power of recognising and addressing unhealthy patterns before they spiral out of control. Mags shares her personal experiences and we explore the stigma associated with the term "alcoholic." We also shed light on support systems like AA, discussing both the camaraderie and the contentious notion of powerlessness. This conversation is an encouraging resource for anyone contemplating reducing or quitting alcohol, highlighting the significant personal growth that comes from such decisions.

Discover the joy of sober socialising and the burgeoning industry of non-alcoholic beverages that cater to an inclusive social environment. We reflect on the importance of sober events and the sense of community they foster, from ecstatic dance meetups to the "Cozy and Confident" workshop. These gatherings not only offer practical tools for navigating social settings without alcohol but also celebrate the enriching connections made in sobriety. As we wrap up, we celebrate the power of community and shared experiences in overcoming addiction and building a fulfilling, alcohol-free life. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the strength found in togetherness and the transformative journey of sobriety.

 
websitehttps://magssheridan.com/embody-recovery-course/
meet up website: https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/sydney-sober-socials/   
insta:https://www.instagram.com/mags.sheridan.mojo/
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery:
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

MEG

Megan Webb: https://glassfulfilled.com.au
Instagram: @glassfulfilled
Unwined Bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

BELLA

Isabella Ferguson: https://isabellaferguson.com.au
Instagram: @alcoholandstresswithisabella
Free 5-Day DO I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? Clarify and focus series: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/doIhaveadrinkingproblemwithisabellaferguson
Alcohol Freedom Small Group Challenge - Register here: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/alcoholfreedomchallenge
...

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever wondered how embracing patience, persistence, and resilience can transform your life? Join us as we speak with Mags Sheridan, an embodiment coach whose journey of quitting alcohol and embracing sobriety since 2016 has profoundly reshaped her world. Mags delves into her extensive involvement with SMART Recovery, a program that employs cognitive and rational emotive behavioral therapy tools to tackle a wide range of addictions.

In this episode, we emphasise the power of recognising and addressing unhealthy patterns before they spiral out of control. Mags shares her personal experiences and we explore the stigma associated with the term "alcoholic." We also shed light on support systems like AA, discussing both the camaraderie and the contentious notion of powerlessness. This conversation is an encouraging resource for anyone contemplating reducing or quitting alcohol, highlighting the significant personal growth that comes from such decisions.

Discover the joy of sober socialising and the burgeoning industry of non-alcoholic beverages that cater to an inclusive social environment. We reflect on the importance of sober events and the sense of community they foster, from ecstatic dance meetups to the "Cozy and Confident" workshop. These gatherings not only offer practical tools for navigating social settings without alcohol but also celebrate the enriching connections made in sobriety. As we wrap up, we celebrate the power of community and shared experiences in overcoming addiction and building a fulfilling, alcohol-free life. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the strength found in togetherness and the transformative journey of sobriety.

 
websitehttps://magssheridan.com/embody-recovery-course/
meet up website: https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/sydney-sober-socials/   
insta:https://www.instagram.com/mags.sheridan.mojo/
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery:
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

MEG

Megan Webb: https://glassfulfilled.com.au
Instagram: @glassfulfilled
Unwined Bookclub: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/unwinedbookclub
Sober Socialising workshop at Seadrift Distillery: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confident-and-cozy-alcohol-free-socialising-for-winter-tickets-934198341387?aff=oddtdtcreator

BELLA

Isabella Ferguson: https://isabellaferguson.com.au
Instagram: @alcoholandstresswithisabella
Free 5-Day DO I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? Clarify and focus series: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/doIhaveadrinkingproblemwithisabellaferguson
Alcohol Freedom Small Group Challenge - Register here: https://resources.isabellaferguson.com.au/alcoholfreedomchallenge
...

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the podcast. Today, my guest is Mags Sheridan. Mags is a friend who I have met on this alcohol-free journey. Mags is an embodiment coach who trains people to embody the qualities they need, like patience, persistence and resilience, through movements like walking and dancing. How cool is that? Welcome Mags.

Speaker 2:

Hello Megan, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for being here. I just love that and I look forward to hearing about that in our chat. Can we just start by you introducing yourself and telling the listeners a bit about yourself?

Speaker 2:

Sure, you can probably tell from my voice I'm not originally from Australia. I lived in America until about seven years ago and now I am at home in Sydney and I have. I quit drinking a little bit before I moved here, so it was October 2016 that I quit for real. That's how I phrase it. 2016, uh, that I quit for real. That's how I phrase it, and the first time I quit was before I was actually of legal drinking age in America.

Speaker 2:

I quit drinking for about six months when I was 20, so it was already an issue then. Um and yeah, so I have been. I started, uh, doing smart recovery and then I became a facilitator through that program and that was just an amazing experience of feeling like I had finally discovered this key to unlock a bunch of things for myself and meeting people like me over and over and helping them realize something about themselves.

Speaker 1:

That's so cool. So what's Smart Recovery? For those who don't know.

Speaker 2:

Right. So Smart Recovery is a program that's been around for a long time actually, and it's based on psychological tools like cognitive behavioral therapy or rational emotive behavioral therapy. It's a similar kind of thing, and so it's about this cycle of the emotions and the thoughts and your actions, um. So even though the tools are developed by psychologists, they're very accessible to use by, uh, peers, and the SMART program has a lot of training. So I went through a hundred hour program um, which I think is actually a longer program.

Speaker 2:

Now. The acronym SMART stands for self management and recovery Training, and so that, just right there in the name, it shows you one of the things that's most important to me about it, which is that it's empowering, it's reinforcing, like you can fix this and you're the only one who can fix this, and so the other thing that's a little bit different about the smart model is that they have one program that deals with all kinds of destructive behavior or addiction you might be in, and that was also really eye-opening for me, and I can remember clearly a meeting where someone came in and said I, my problem is with office works and stationary stores.

Speaker 2:

And there was a feeling around the room of like are you kidding me? Like people are talking about hard drugs in this room and and then, listening to this person talk, there was this exact same behavior of like in the morning, I'm not going to do it. And then at four o'clock in the afternoon, I'm doing it. I'm hating myself. In the moment I don't know how to stop the pattern, and so it really helped open my eyes to the idea that this cycle, that we can get quite universal and you can apply the same tools to overeating or shopping. All these things are related in the dopamine cycle.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I really loved the SMART program, and there's a schism in SMART around the world, which is that in America it's a 100% abstinence-based program and Australia is much more on a harm reduction model, and so they actually, I think, broke away in a corporate sense. So that's really interesting to me, because harm reduction is not something that people talk about as much with alcohol as with other kinds of drugs. To me, talking about it from harm reduction space automatically comes with more compassion and flexibility for the people. So, yeah, I really value that change in perspective.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's awesome, so it's available all around the world Smart Recovery.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there probably were always online meetings, but when COVID happened, then it just is now like almost a 24-7 resource and you can look for meetings that are happening right now, no matter what time zone you're in, and join something that's across the globe.

Speaker 1:

So that's really interesting and I love what you said about the Officeworks issue, because addiction is numbing and people who drink to numb or take drugs feel so much shame and judgment because as a society we judge that. And then things like Officeworks, like you said, the first reaction is, oh, come on. But it's the same beliefs and feelings and emotions when numbing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and when it comes with this mountain of shame, like that's really something to be numbed right Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So you said you first gave up when you were 20, which is very young and I was very similar, I knew. I knew at that age that I wasn't a normal drinker, so I relate to that. After that you drank again. So when did you stop the next time and how?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that first time. I was always surrounded by heavy drinkers, like in my family, in my school group. I went to a university that was kind of like famed for how much everyone could drink and it never really occurred to me that I could stay quit. But I could see that it was terrible for my mental health and so there were multiple times where I would quit for a month or three months maybe, and I never used any program of any kind and never really had any support around that at all, which is why it would never last for very long. But I went through that cycle a few times in my twenties and then I think I just kind of dug in and said, well, well, this is what it's going to be like now. Um, I had entirely accepted it about myself and like I think about when I worked in high tech for a long time and in that atmosphere it was very much like work hard, play hard, and people would say, well, I might be an alcoholic but at least I'm functional, you know. And when and when I think about that now I just it chills me honestly, but it was just very well entrenched and I know that part of that was me. I was choosing the friend group or the job or whatever. That included that, because to me life didn't exist without that. I would never have thought about that.

Speaker 2:

And when I think about the end of my drinking, there were kind of two parts to it, and one part was when I was living in a situation that I was really disliking and I was having a lot of blackouts with my drinking. Then, and I just remember this day where I thought I am really in danger of like literally killing myself. I could drive off the road into the river, I could crash my bicycle you know I'd crashed my bicycle so many times by that point so that was kind of a fear based reaction that had a good effect and that lasted for a few months, um, and it was really helpful to me, but it wasn't, um, genuine in that way, uh, whereas when it was a few years later and I had that moment of clarity, then the question that I kept saying in my mind was what if it really is easier? And I just so strongly resisted that Like there's no chance that having zero glasses of wine is going to be better than having one and worrying about when the next one's coming, or. But yeah, it sure sounds so much easier. That question what if? Was a huge part of my early recovery of like, what if I can do this, what if this is actually possible, what if it's even possible for me? And there wasn't. There wasn't anything tragic that happened on that day.

Speaker 2:

I think the concept of rock bottom is actually really damaging because I think there's a lot of people who are kind of drinking and saying, well, there's, I haven't had a rock bottom, so it must not be time to quit yet. And one of my like mantras of life is like you don't have to wait until it's terrible to do something about it. You know, when you go to the doctor, they say your bloods are leaning towards diabetes, so let's do something about this now. They don't say like well, you're on your way, but you're not there yet. I really feel like it's work to quit drinking in this society and it's also worth the work, 100% worth the work.

Speaker 2:

And when I did it, I basically made that my full-time job for like a month and I left the house every day because I was taking a lot of walks and things, but I didn't go to any restaurants that served alcohol, for instance, like I just didn't go in a room where it was available, and that did mean in California I didn't even go grocery shopping.

Speaker 2:

I had my groceries delivered because the grocery store was like you know, there'd be like boxes of cereal and then a box of wine that could be next to it and like every display, just so.

Speaker 2:

I felt like for me, being super strict with myself was actually really good and it was. I probably went too far in that direction because I was really isolated, because I was really isolated and it would have been better to say to somebody like, can you have a walk with me in the morning, rather than like, just like I didn't reply to people's texts or phone calls or anything, yeah, yeah, um. So that was too extreme, but I do think there's um, there's value in being able to dedicate yourself to like what's this going to be? And especially now, with so many podcasts to listen to and books to read and groups to join, and even it's only been eight years for me, but it's a dramatic difference in the amount of resources that are available and support and vocabulary that didn't exist. Yeah, it's really exciting actually to see that developing and to see numbers falling where they say, oh, these younger people aren't quite you know drinking five nights a week like we did back then. Like, oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, yeah, I know it's incredible, isn't it? And you're right, like I can't, I stopped drinking for the first time about six years ago and even then there wasn't the podcasts and I didn't even know about podcasts. To be honest, now you could isolate if that's what you choose, and have that friend in your ear, because it is like that, like I love audible books, I love podcasts. Now, like this, what we're doing now, it's like having a friend. I love Audible books, I love podcasts. Now, like this, what we're doing now, it's like having a friend in your ears. It really is. It's amazing, isn't it? And I love that.

Speaker 1:

You did focus on the quitting, maybe to the extreme, but I was similar in that I didn't go out. I gave myself a period of time and said you do whatever you need to to do this, and I didn't go out, and I don't go out so much at night Well, hardly at all anymore, and that's how I like it now. But you do whatever it takes, I think, at the beginning, to support yourself. I did have a question around that, because when you were saying you don't need to wait until the rock bottom, I totally agree. What do you think about the grey area drinking spectrum?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's interesting. That is a term that maybe didn't exist when I was first working on getting sober. Same working on getting sober and the the word alcoholic was like this neon banner. That, absolutely that stigma kept me from getting help for such a long time, and I've just heard that story over and over from so many people. Um, and so I think the idea of gray area drinking is super appealing, because who wants to have this scarlet letter A on their chest right? So I like the idea behind that, and softening maybe helps that appeal to people.

Speaker 2:

And I do also hear it used in a way that to me seems like that looks like heavy drinking from my perspective and that's that's not gray, you know. So it's possible someone could use that to kind of be fooling themselves. But at the same time, the gray area resources are about reducing it and, honestly, even if you aren't reducing or drinking at all, becoming aware is so powerful all by itself. So just how easy it is for me, for humans in general, to have our heads in the sand and just making that switch where you say, oh okay, I really enjoyed going out drinking last night and today I've had three fights with my boyfriend. I wonder if those things are related. The problem with awareness is that it's hard to go back. So once you've become aware of that pattern, you know people will say to me you've ruined drinking for me. And it's like well, all I've done is show you reality because you can't unsee it.

Speaker 1:

I totally agree. Like um is is rock bottom. Like for me, my daughter hating me and yelling at me every night on her phone how much she hates me. It wasn't falling over and breaking my rib, but sort of bouncing back up and being okay. Was it the fear that I might get pulled over driving my kids to school the next day because I'm still over the limit? Or was that gray area? It doesn't really matter because that voice in my mind, no matter how much I tried to bargain with myself that it could be worse, the voice was there. Like you said, there was a awareness and I think if people can hear, if they even question it, have a look at that. That would be my suggestion on that whole grey area, because someone might drink one glass of wine a night and convince themselves that's okay. But if something's in your mind arguing with that saying, is it?

Speaker 2:

Have a look at that. Absolutely, yeah, my feeling is deep down, you know. Yes.

Speaker 1:

I agree, I definitely agree with that, and I think that is why, when you said at 20, you know you had a break. I knew back then and I enabled myself for many years and it could have been. Oh well, your child's one and you deserve a reward. You can go back out with your friends each week. Or it might have been society's telling me that kids are damn hard.

Speaker 2:

Oh gosh, that message is so strong, so strong.

Speaker 1:

So there was always an enabling reason that I just went see, I'm not alone, it's not that bad.

Speaker 2:

I think it was Laura McCowan that I first heard this idea from. That it doesn't. It's not about is it so bad that I have to quit. It's about like is the life that I have right now good enough?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And switching that question on its head head, I felt like my time and energy doubled or more. It's like, oh, look at all these hours in the day I can do a hobby again and travel and oh it's, it's incredible.

Speaker 1:

So for anyone listening that thinks it is hard, it's a good hard and the reward and payoff is next level. But you also mentioned alcoholic, the word alcoholism, and that's why I love that we are here now in this day and age where it's really being challenged, and I don't relate to that, to that word and, in this Naked Mind, the work that I've done. We certainly don't focus on that. But what are your experiences with? Did you go to AA? What are your experiences there?

Speaker 2:

I did not do AA as a program. I haven't like gone through the steps with a sponsor kind of thing. I have done some things, like went to the stay long workshop where we went through the steps together, and I have done some visiting of AI for the fellowship aspect. And I think the fellowship aspect of it is giant actually, and being able to be in a room where people understand you and um are not judging you like are truly, truly not judging you, that is just so powerful, um. So I've had some good experiences in the rooms, quote unquote.

Speaker 2:

But the program itself I have a lot of disagreement with and it starts with this powerlessness bit. And it's interesting. I love contradictions and that's definitely one for me because, like, was I powerless over alcohol? Well, obviously not, because there was a day when I said I'm not doing this anymore and I haven't, so I wasn't powerless. But were there also a hundred times before that where I said I'm not drinking tonight and then I did, or similar. Yeah, absolutely, and especially after having the first one right. So if I can say no to the first one, no problem, but if I say yes to the first one, no problem, but if I say yes to the first one, thinking it'll just be one, no way. So, yeah, that word powerlessness really bugs me and gets under my skin, and I'm all about empowerment and um, and yet I acknowledge there's some, some truth in that.

Speaker 2:

I do think that it can be harmful to be too immersed in sort of the label of what's wrong with you instead of what's in the future, what's next, what's the new you about? And I do have friends who are still going to AA with you know 20 years of sobriety or more, and so I think, well, I guess they're getting something out of that, but from the outside that feels like, oh, their sobriety is so tenuous that they have to continually top it up. I don't know. That's definitely something that I liked about SMART is that we had the concept of like graduating, almost Like now you've got enough tools under your belt that you can handle this yourself. And the problem with that is that if you are isolated, then that's taking away a really good and intimate community as well. So this is part of why I'm so passionate about the sober social events and and in Sydney there's a giant number of people who want to have a night out that doesn't include alcohol, even if they're not someone that is sober or they're not sober all the time or whatever.

Speaker 2:

I would say in the meetups that I've led it's probably been about half and half, and I mean half people who are in recovery or trying to get sober and half people who are just not interested in alcohol that night, and so it's been really interesting because then some part of the group might be having like a really support oriented conversation while we're walking and the other part of the group is just talking about other things, and sometimes we never mention alcohol as a topic at all in the whole night and sometimes it's the focus. Like if we're going to a place that specifically has good mocktails or that kind of thing, I at least check that there's like one non-alcoholic beverage on the menu if I'm booking a place, because I just hate, hate, hate when the only option is a Coke, yeah, that's something else. That's just changed so much in my lifetime. I'm not sure how I would have handled non-alcoholic spirits when I was drinking spirits a lot, but I never drank beer very much, and so now I think of non-alcoholic beer as 100% safe. It doesn't trigger me or remind me of anything, or for me it's. It's about social permission.

Speaker 2:

So if I have the choice of going to a thing and having a warm glass of water again which has been my only option at too many events, you know um, that makes me inclined to just skip it, and having a zero beer or mocktail or something on the menu makes me feel like I belong at this event as well. I'm welcome at the party, I'm part of the group that's in the party and it's a really strong signal for my brain and also, I think, for the whole group of like. Oh, we include drinkers and non-drinkers together and there doesn't need to be a separation, and I think it's a really important societal shift, really huge more normal, because why should non-drink, non-alcohol drinkers feel different or not part of a group?

Speaker 1:

because of the choice of a drink they're putting in their mouth. You know it does seem silly, doesn't it? But the non-alcoholic options are so much more and I had Carolyn from Seadrift Distillery on last couple of weeks ago and it's just a growing industry and it's exciting and there's some beautiful drinks. I was talking about a mocktail I had at the clock in the city and I was so excited that people saw my excitement. But it was one of the best drinks I've just ever had, like the taste, combination of taste, and it turned out it was Seadrift alcohol-free gin.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know Nice, yeah, and it was elderflower and lime, just because Carolyn was saying mixologists, they're creative and they're clever. It was just exciting to any kind of drink. It was a beautiful flavoured drink and it just I don't know. It felt great and so there's so much more options and even people at the party because it was an open bar for a couple of hours for my friend's birthday. Some of the people drinking alcohol said I want to try that, I want what she's having. It was a Harry Met Sally moment because, yeah, yeah, how perfect is that? It was so good and it had the best name. It was something like wake up feeling good. You know the name of the mocktail whatever Perfect, yeah, it's like so good.

Speaker 2:

I've had that experience so many times now that you mentioned it. Like I can think of a night I was having a dinner with some friends at the pub on the corner and they all had beers and I had a zero beer. And then they went to get the second round and out of the four other people, three of them said I'll just have the zero, because they were thinking about, like well, I'm driving later or I'm doing work in the morning, whatever. This is just. One of the huge lessons to me is that non-alcoholic beverages are for everyone. Like, having a different choice of something to drink is not only for this tiny slice of society, you know. Yes, it includes everyone who wants to feel better the next day. But you know, maybe that's too broad. That makes me sound like a non-drinking evangelist, you know. But but it does include so many different health reasons and energy and driving and yeah, well, bottom line is alcohol's poison, and that's just the way it is.

Speaker 1:

That's just the truth. So, um, I went over to my dad's last year and he had a beer in his hand and he said alcohol free. And I sort of thought to myself why it's like but you can drink alcohol. That was the initial. And then I'm like that is so cool. You know why not?

Speaker 2:

it's great isn't it?

Speaker 1:

yeah, really like it. I think it's a great option and, like you said, my friends will come back with non-alcoholic beers when we're at a pub or something. It's like oh my God, this is awesome, really cool. And it is about health too. We all have health to look out for. You know, our future depends on us after ourselves. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll go back to the conversation about the word alcoholic, and the reason that I think it's so dangerous is because the image of what that word means from you know, movies and TV primarily is that this is the way you'll always be. And that is so dangerous because this is not the way you have to always be. You can quit drinking and you can still have a job that involves taking people out to a fancy dinner. Or you can quit drinking and you can still go dancing. You can quit drinking and still flirt or date or have sex or all these things that are so closely tied.

Speaker 2:

So for me, like my drinking was extremely dysfunctional and I can say I was an alcoholic. I don't I don't love phrasing it that way like even just now I feel my voice kind of going um, but at the same time I feel like, well, if I thought, if the way I was drinking, that doesn't qualify. Like the word is meaningless, right, like it was clearly in that category, but having the word come with this huge, huge stigma and this helplessness just makes it so distasteful and dangerous, I think is the right word, because I can remember having that feeling of like okay, well, I guess this is all there is for me and this is just how it's going to be, and I could look through my family and go, yeah, that's how it's been for them for the 20 years they are older than me, you know. So that's one of the reasons that having these, this much wider variety of support and conversations about it, is so valuable. And there's definitely parts of it that I don't agree with, but that's absolutely fine, that's a hundred percent fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and, and I'm the same like I. I don't associate with that word. I mean I could walk around saying, hi, I'm Megan and I'm a tennis player, but realistically, I haven't played for 20 years, so am I? No, I'm not. I love that analogy. It goes with everything Like it's out of date. Now, you know, I think. And if people need that like I have a relative who goes to AA and they need that for their sobriety, 100%, that's absolutely fine. It's just what we're comfortable with and I don't like people sort of using it. I don't know People might understand that there are some people in their life that might use it against you, like you're an alcoholic I get that know.

Speaker 1:

People might understand that there are some people in their life that might use it against you, like you're an alcoholic.

Speaker 2:

I get that from. Yeah, I'd be scared about employers, or yeah just that judgment.

Speaker 1:

that's. That's what I don't like with it the, the label, the judgment, because we anyone that drinks, anyone that has any addiction of any type, office works or gaming we are more than that. A person is so much more than that. But it's a very interesting topic and I had William Porter on who wrote Alcohol Explained and I asked him about it and I mean, that's another episode. That was a great one. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1:

So it's really was a great one yeah, thank you, so it's really even for him. He really related to it. It's just not for everyone now and it's. There's just so many other things, like you were saying um empowerment, you know, compassion and one that people can choose for themselves.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and one of the things you said was, if it helps and to me that's 100% of it Do the things that help make your sobriety more sustainable or stronger or easier or more part of your life that you don't have to think about anymore, whatever that is. And I think that for a lot of people there's this urge to kind of test it, like okay, I've been sober for a week, so I'm going to go to this hen's party weekend. It's like do you have to? I used to call it standing on the edge of the cliff. Like it turns out, you can step back, you don't have to stand right on the edge.

Speaker 1:

And that's really freeing. Like I've said no to quite a lot of things that initially I would have, yes, challenged myself or thought I couldn't say no. But it's quite freeing to be able to say it's just not going to suit what I'm doing or where I'm headed. So is there anything else you wanted to discuss before I ask about what you do and offer?

Speaker 2:

The other thing about the sort of wider view on non-alcoholic beverages being for everyone is what I've really been embracing this past year is that accommodations help everyone, and so sometimes that's in, it's in different categories, but, like, having a place where there's a quiet space away from a hectic convention helps everyone, and having the information presented in different formats that helps everyone. And having a handrail next to the stairs that helps everyone. Like, yes, it doesn't have to be focused on just the extreme end, or, yeah, I. So that's why I'm passionate about um, making sure that the restaurants that I go to have a drink and I'll ask, like I can be pretty shy, but it's one thing that gets me to get up and say, like why don't you have any options?

Speaker 2:

Or like, well, you serve heineken, they have a zero beer. Like you don't, you don't options. Or like, well, you serve Heineken, they have a zero beer. Like you don't, you don't have to go to a different supplier, or whatever. It's right here, um. Or did you know the pub on the corner down there is selling 30 percent of their booze is not alcoholic booze. It can be really a huge economic motivator, actually, and so I'm all for whatever is going to move the needle.

Speaker 1:

Yeah and good on you for being brave and and saying the hard things. Um, and I can vouch for your awesome meetups because that's where I met you. That's really cool stuff. You know, really fun stuff. We did, uh, sculptures by the sea, which is where you were saying a group of us walked and talked about alcohol.

Speaker 2:

Then I was talking to another group that weren't and just very it's so interesting meeting new people yeah, and having that cushion of like well, at least the people that I'm with are not getting messy like one of the vivid meetups we were, just it was like everyone around us was smashed, and so it's just like this little bubble of like we're being very sensible right now and no one's falling over, no one's lost their phone tonight, so good, yes, we did a Vivid together and we did.

Speaker 1:

I just thought of another one, but we've done. We've done many things that it's just so nice to be present.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we did the night markets as well.

Speaker 1:

The, the night markets. I did that, that's what I was thinking of, and, and these are things that vivid night markets, even sculptures by the sea at Bondi. I wouldn't have done any of them, mainly because I would have prioritized drinking, but also hangover. Yeah, so it's. This is living and meeting people and hearing people's stories, whether or not it was around alcohol, it was just. It is always just so interesting and we're getting you know I'm living more of life.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And talking to other people who are like, here's how my life has opened up. It's so inspiring.

Speaker 1:

So inspiring? And what do you do? You have any meetup events coming up?

Speaker 2:

uh, so my aim is to do at least one per month, and we have, there's a bunch of people who are hosts, um, but the meetup group has gone through these periods of being more and less busy at different times. So, uh, I think it'll pick up, but I have, um, a ecstatic dance, one coming up on the 2nd of August, wow, and that is in Darlinghurst.

Speaker 1:

Amazing.

Speaker 2:

And those are usually well attended and that's really to me that's a real sweet spot, because dancing and alcohol were so closely linked for me, were so closely linked for me.

Speaker 2:

And then, when I first got sober, one of the treats that I gave myself was a week long dance program thing that I love so much. I ended up teaching it for several years after that and it really changed my life because I had never been athletic or coordinated or fit or anything and suddenly I was like, oh, I can dance for hours in a day and I love that, and that's all about getting into the body, which is what's really important to me. So my work is about embodiment, which you know people will say like this person embodies leadership. It means like having the quality deeply in you so that all of your actions are aligned with that. And one of the bits that I really love to do is body decision making, because it can apply to anything at all. But having that decision making ability means that you can make decisions much more quickly and they are aligned with what your values are. Um, because you know how to check in with what the signals are.

Speaker 1:

I'll put it in the show notes, all these things okay great yeah, thank you, so anything else on the boiler.

Speaker 2:

Um yeah, I have a big workshop coming up in september. I'm very excited about oh, I know about that one, because I'm co-hosting it with you.

Speaker 2:

Yay, it's gonna be great. It's actually two workshops in one, and so we're calling the combination cozy and confident, and it's about being able to attend and enjoy events that center around drinking when you're the one who's not drinking alcohol. So we're going to talk about choosing what you're going to have and making sure you have an exit route when you need it, and everything in between. So Megan is an excellent speaker, so this is going to be especially right up her alley, and being able to say confidently no, thank you, or no in a firmer way, or no in a softer way. It's a soft skill, but it is a skill, and so practicing it is super important. Um, and so we're going to have this workshop for two hours, and then the mixologist from C drift will be guiding us through making some different mocktails, and they have share plates of food to go with that. So it'll be a little party in the northern beaches.

Speaker 1:

That is on Saturday, the 14th of September, and, if I wasn't hosting it, I'd be going to it because it sounds amazing and I've been to Seadrift, I've had their nibblies, I've had their beautiful drinks and the workshop is there'll be a community connection, understanding, tools, tactics, it's, it sounds, you know, brilliant thing and it's local for us Sydney people on the, you know it is on the beaches, it's at a great alcohol-free distillery.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the place there is so beautiful. They have their stills along one wall, and so when we were there, there was steam happening and it's beautifully lit, and then there's a big, uh, marble bar area and, um, so we'll have 14 people for that pair of workshops and I think it'll be really great. I have always been surprised. No matter how shy and introverted I'm feeling, going to events like these, it just brings me right out of my shell and make some great friends Absolutely, and every event I've been to that you've hosted or that has been locally alcohol free, I leave feeling really light and joyous really yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:

They say the opposite of addiction is connection. Exactly right, and that's what that's. When you were speaking before, I thought that's one thing that I intend to keep going forward connection with like-minded people. Yeah Well, mags, we're coming to the end. I could keep speaking with you, so maybe we need to go have another podcast together, but it's been so lovely hearing you speak and hear your wisdom and what you've been through really inspiring as well. So thank you so much for joining me.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I really appreciate the chance to talk with you, megan, and I am just really impressed with you having this long stretch of podcast now 90. What is this? 92 or something now? Um, yeah, it's amazing. So it's a. It's a really good service for this community that we both love people like me. Um, like having your voice in our ears.

Speaker 1:

So, thank you thank you so much and thank you for giving me a community when I needed it. Thank you so much. Excellent.

Empowering Through Smart Recovery
Understanding Grey Area Drinking
Redefining Sobriety and Non-Alcoholic Options
Alcohol-Free Event Empowerment and Community
Building Community Through Shared Experiences