Leaders with Leverage: Adopting a Negotiator Mindset

How Do I Know I Got a Good Deal?

• Susie Tomenchok • Episode 100

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Ever walked away from a negotiation with that nagging "Did I get a good deal?" feeling? Say goodbye to those doubts! In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on negotiation mastery. You'll learn how to enter any negotiation armed with crystal-clear objectives and a bulletproof strategy. I'll dive deep into the game-changing concepts of your negotiation "ceiling" and "floor," and I'll introduce you to your new secret weapon: BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).

In this episode, we'll cover:
1. The foolproof formula for knowing if you've nailed a good deal
2. How to set your "floor" and "ceiling" like a pro negotiator
3. Insider tips to banish that pesky negotiator's "hangover" for good

The Negotiator's Toolbox is now available!
Get $100 off when you use code TOOLBOX at www.negotiationlove.com

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Ready to continue your professional growth?
Here are a few resources for you:


Speaker 1:

You've probably heard that in a negotiation, the one who wins got a better deal, but what does that mean? How do you know when you got a good deal? Stay right here. Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomichuk. It's time to be your own advocate and confidently navigate what you want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens every day in plain sight, so you need to be ready to opt in and say yes with confidence. This happens by adopting a negotiator's mindset, and I'll show you how, together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills and shifts in mindset you need to know. You will be empowered to naturally advocate for yourself and grow your professional skills, and while you're practicing along the way, you'll increase your confidence and gain respect, all while you're growing into that future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do it. Let's lead with leverage. Hey friends, I'm so glad that you made the choice to be here today.

Speaker 1:

I've been really thinking about what would be a good topic to talk about and when I facilitate groups. The questions that people ask are often the ones that are on the minds of a lot of people, so I thought I would talk about I got this question. I was doing a session with a group of leaders technical leaders and in the middle of the conversation around how to negotiate in everyday context, this one guy said but how do I know if I got a good deal? How am I clear when I know that? And the questions that often lawyers give, not just in negotiation but when you give advice, is starts out with. It depends, and I feel like negotiation is similar. It depends, but the key to a great deal for you is getting clarity about what you want. And when you know what is really important to you and you define that for yourself and you think about all of the pieces of leverage, you think about all of the interests of you and the other party and you take the time to really be thoughtful about what are all the components and what are the three factors that will make me really happy, that's a great place to start. And then when you think, okay, if that would make me happy, what would make me ecstatic? Is there something additional? That, in case all the planets aligned and I asked for it and they said, yes, they would give it to me. So that's the ones that, that's the, that's the ceiling. What is that? What is the best possible outcome? And then a little bit more, or a lot more, if you have a lot of leverage at play on your side and you have a lot of options. When you have a strong BATNA, you can make that ceiling a lot higher. You can be a lot more courageous with that and knowing what is that best possible outcome. And that's a lot of times where we focus. But that floor what is your walkaway? What are the things that if you don't get, you're going to walk away? That is so important to also define. And that's the floor, the floor and the ceiling. So the reason that it depends is what are those for you, what's important?

Speaker 1:

We often think that when we go into a negotiation, that person has a well-defined bag of options that they're just waiting for us to offer to us. Do you want this and this and this and this and this and this? I could give you more, but the reality is sometimes they may not even have those options. They may have to go and consider it if they can give you something that is beyond what they had thought about. Maybe the thing that you asked for, that's at the ceiling for you, is something they haven't even contemplated and it's an easy give on their side. So they don't have it all figured out, but we have this idea that they have this number, this finite number, and maybe they have a range I don't get. I'm ready to walk away, and that's a lot easier when you have a strong BATNA or a lot of have a strong set of options. When you're really clear about that, you don't worry about what if? That's the best case scenario for you, where you're like, if I got it in, that in that range, I'm going to be satisfied. So I'll give you some examples I'll share when we come back around, how I've seen this in play and how when you're really thoughtful about this and take the time, then you don't have that negotiator hangover. It's those. What if I would have asked for this? What if I would have stayed in a little longer? What if they had more to give me? That's what you want to avoid as much as possible. So the more homework you do, the more prepared you are. The more objective you are, the less opportunity for you to suffer from a negotiator hangover. So I'll share some examples from my life around how to really think about this concept and make sure that you don't walk away with a negotiator hangover. So stay right here.

Speaker 1:

It's me that I tell you how excited I am about this collection of courses I have available. It's all around the concept of adopting a negotiator mindset, and the only way to do that is to really understand what it's like to be a negotiator, so that you can practice it in your everyday. I'm excited about this project because it's going to allow people to do this on their own time and go through the course at their own pace. If you want to learn more, go to SuzyTomichukcom. I'd love for you to check it out. Okay, you know when I'm thinking about stories, sometimes I think about things that I really didn't do well, and so it's hard to relive, but I'm going to share one of those.

Speaker 1:

When I was early in my consulting, and when you're a consultant and you don't make a regular paycheck that just automatically goes into your account every week, it feels very daunting. Every time you put out a proposal, every single time, that number feels really big to you. It's it's really when you don't have a lot of work. It is definitely not an abundance mindset, it's definitely infinite mindset. And how that gets in the way is I would negotiate with myself and I remember going to a friend of mine said listen, I think we could use your skills. Why don't you put together a consulting proposal for us in helping train up our sales team around doing some best practices for selling? How do we look at pipelining and all these things? And it was something that I knew okay, I'd done it in my professional career and it was something I wanted to do. And again, I needed the work.

Speaker 1:

So I was really keen on making sure this proposal went well and I didn't think about asking a lot of questions. I didn't do any market research on what other companies that were providing similar services were giving. I just sat down to put together a proposal because she told me to do it and I felt like in my mind I better get it done in the next couple hours. So that's another thing around your mindset when we believe that they want it so quickly and we don't give ourselves the time to really think through all of the angles, all the pieces of leverage, all those things. I didn't give myself that opportunity to look at that either. So I put together this proposal, I sent it to her and I heard nothing for weeks. It was not anything that was urgent on their on their priority list at all and it was weeks before I heard back from her and I finally I had pinged her a couple times and you could tell it was just something that wasn't as urgent as I thought it was when it first started.

Speaker 1:

Boy, I wish when I look back on this, I wish I would have asked for more time to really take note of this. Like I see all the steps in thinking through this story again where I really missed the mark. And she came back and said you this story again where I really missed the mark. And she came back and said we looked at your proposal and because it was so low, we decided to go with somebody else because we figured you're not going to be able to deliver what we need you to because you're not going to be able to get the resources you need to do this with that number. And gosh, it would have taken that much time for me to do more research and really understood that, but I was not clear on what success looked like for them.

Speaker 1:

I wasn't clear about my floor, my ceiling, what would be great, what resources I needed. I looked at it as a deliverable and I really missed the mark. And that's so important when you look at a negotiation, it has a lot of depth to it. It's how quickly do you need to get this to them? How do you look at it from a lot of different angles. How do you look at it from their side? How do you look at it from your side? And because I was so myopic on wanting to get this done in a couple hours, I totally missed the mark. So I was not clear at all. I didn't even give myself a floor and a ceiling. I gave myself a number and that was it. It didn't have a lot of depth to it at all. Boy, I really was sad to lose that. I felt so embarrassed. I still feel embarrassed about it. I still think about that. I hope she has long forgotten that memory from years and years ago, but I still think about that. I hope she has long forgotten that memory from years and years ago, but I still think about what a mess that was and that was without that clarity. I think about another story that when I was negotiating, I'm really good about thinking about the floor and the ceiling and how it helped me so much.

Speaker 1:

So this was a complex negotiation. We had really defined what our best possible outcome was. What are the three things that we wanted from that negotiation? For sure, what are our things that, without a doubt, we need these three? And then, what was the rest of that list? And if we got all of those things let's just say there were 10 things and we got more what would that feel like? What would almost feel impossible for us to get? And then we had a walkaway and that was basically just not getting the deal. You know, what was our walkaway? Obviously, but what was our walkaway gonna be? It was gonna be a price that we were unwilling to um to pay. And so we defined the floor and I really thought we'd be closer to that floor. But early in the conversation, um, as we started throwing out some of the things that were important to us, I started seeing that those were easy gifts and it was a yes. And our list of 10 was we got a yes on it, we got a yes on it, we got a yes on it and I was like so glad that we had made that long list, because had we not made that, I probably would have been like, okay, we're good to go. I would have been going toward the close.

Speaker 1:

But because we had a long list that we had really thought through and been mindful about and knew the number that we wanted to get to, we kept the conversation rolling and it didn't feel out of sorts because we had allowed ourselves to imagine what we wanted and how that bigger, broader thing that we wanted would not feel so out of left field, if you will. Because when we're surprised by something that if their number is double what we thought we wanted, they were going to pay us double what we thought we wanted, they were going to pay us double. If we're not ready for something like that, we might be so ready just to say yes that we illustrate to them that they could have gotten us for a lot less or less components. So when you do this and you think about this, then in the moment you can be more relaxed. So in this negotiation, not only did they start giving us things and it was easy for them to give, the number in their head was a lot higher than ours, and so when we threw, I allowed them to anchor and realize that their number was above ours.

Speaker 1:

Plus, we got additional benefits from the priorities that we had listed, because we'd done our homework. We had done that in a way that we knew that that would be the best case scenario. So we felt really good. We not only got our best case scenario we overachieved that but we were able to give them some things as well and make them feel satisfied in the walk away, so that both parties felt like they got something. You don't ever want to make the other party feel like you swindled them. You got one over on them. What can you give them, too, to make them feel like this is a good deal for both of us, make them feel like this is a good deal for both of us. So having that clarity about your floor and ceiling helps you not have that hangover.

Speaker 1:

That first story I told you I still labor over. I still think about why didn't I take more time? Why did I do it that way? Why did I throw that number out there? How did I not have more conversations with them to really understand what the scope of work looked like? And on the other side, we were so prepared that we were really clear about that floor and ceiling, that we knew that when we got there, we stayed in the moment and we've not only were satisfied, we knew what we wanted, we knew where we were, we were really proud of ourselves, but we were able to also understand and give the other side what would make them feel good as well. This is such a really important concept to be thoughtful about and zoom out so you can see it from an objective view, so that you have clarity around what's important to you, what's important to them. So the end that you get to, you don't have regret, you don't have a negotiator hangover, you're very clear about that floor and ceiling. So when we come back, I'll give you some tips around this. I've kind of alluded to them in thinking about this, but I'll give you three tips that you can put into place that will make you more mindful about thinking about your floor and ceiling, so that you don't regret moving forward. We'll be right back.

Speaker 1:

Hi, suzy, here. You know, one of the things that I love is I facilitate team conversations, whether it's talking about high stakes, how to advocate for one another. So if you're a leader and you want to bring your team together, you want to level them up, help them really bond together and increase their confidence as a whole. Contact me, go to suzytomachukcom, tell me a little bit about your team and I'll be in touch. All right, so my three tips, so that you know that you've got a good deal.

Speaker 1:

So my first one is to be really clear about your floor and ceiling. So my first one is to be really clear about your floor and ceiling, what is really important to you, and not just the one thing. Take time to be thoughtful or brainstorm about what are all of the best possible outcomes that you could achieve from this partnership and stay in it even a little longer. Once you have a few, try to get as long of a list as you can and what are the three at least the three top that are important to you. What would successful look like and how can you get even further, beyond what you think is even possible? And then, being really clear about what is that walkaway? What is going to be the thing that you say? You know what? No offense, but let's just still be friends or let's have a future relationship, but this is not going to work for me. I wish it did, but it's just not going to work for me right now. So what is that? Walkaway and think about that plan. So that way, if you find yourself in the middle of that, then you feel like you got a good deal and you don't question it. You don't think about what if?

Speaker 1:

The second tip is how do you prepare? Really spending time and looking at it from a lot of angles. Who can you get some help from to get some perspective? What is the timing that you're going to need? Be realistic about that. What do you need to deliver? What are their expectations? What's important to them? Be a very thoughtful preparer around it so that you're thinking about it from all sides, beyond just your floor and ceiling, and know what it's going to feel like when you move through. So that when you have to say no deal, you feel confident walking through that and actually moving through a walk away. Or, if they surprise you by being too high or too low in your range, that you can adapt in that moment in the way that's going to give you the best outcome. Being clear and preparing will set you up. It'll set you up for having that clarity about what you want, but it'll also get you in the right frame of mind as you move through it so you can do that in the best way for your best possible outcome.

Speaker 1:

And that third tip that third tip is if you find yourself in that range where you wanted to get to, so write that down and when you get done with the negotiation, look at that and see that you got in that range and be okay with it. This is probably the hardest thing to do is not allow yourself to really think of the what ifs. If you want to learn from this situation, what can you pull from that? Was there opportunities that you didn't uncover that you could have? Had you done some additional preparation, asked some additional questions, got some coaching from somebody else, sure, those are all great things to look back on. But If you know what you wanted, you got in the range. Don't look back. It wasn't like there was another path that you did not take. It's just that you knew what you wanted and you got clear on it, and so the deal that you got is good for you. That's the key, it's your clarity, it's getting really focused on what's important to you, really focused on what's important to you and that's the key to not just that negotiation but also thinking about in the future what is important to you, because you can always be moving toward that.

Speaker 1:

So these are the three tips.

Speaker 1:

One is to define that floor and ceiling. Be really clear about what would make you excited, what would make you satisfied about what would make you excited, what would make you satisfied and what would make you excited and what is your walk away. The second is take the time to prepare. Be really mindful of all the different angles, the resources that you can pull. How do you need to look at it from a lot of vantage points? What does that look like for you? Take the time to prepare.

Speaker 1:

And then the third is to not have regret. If you got in that floor and ceiling, if you got the deal that you wanted, that you told yourself was important to you, don't look back. Learn from your experience, but be satisfied with the deal that you got. That will help you alleviate the time that you spend in that negotiator hangover. So those are my three tips. When we come back, I want to challenge you around. How are you going to start using this for you? What are some of the situations that you can apply this methodology and these tips to make you better at making sure that you're thoughtful and you have outcomes that you can live with. We'll be right back.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I got in. Hey everybody, I'm James. I'm Susie's co-host on her other podcast, Quick Take. If you're enjoying this podcast, you're going to love our podcast Quick Take even better, Mostly because, well, I'm there, which is infinitely more entertaining. But hey, you'll love it if you join us. Please subscribe now, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1:

All right, this is where the rubber hits the road. I always laugh when I say that, because I actually got it correct, that analogy. I am an executive coach and team facilitator and I bring a lot of content to people, but my real job is to challenge them is how they're going to apply it. So this part of that is this for you. So if you need to stop and write down what you're going to do on a sticky note that you're going to put on your computer, I want you to do that. So stop, start and continue helps you to orient yourself around that. So, as I go through this for me, I want you to think about what are you going to stop? Start and continue around, being really clear about your floor and ceiling so that you don't inhibit yourself by not knowing if you got a good deal. So stop.

Speaker 1:

I was thinking about what am I going to stop doing? I'm going to stop getting in my own way. I tend to. If I'm all by myself and I'm looking at whether it's a bid for a new project or putting myself out there and believing that I can get what I really want, I inhibit myself and negotiate with myself before I even give myself a chance, and that sales example that I gave you in that proposal is exactly that mindset. It still gets in my way sometimes. I'm going to stop doing that. I'll tell you in my start, but I'm going to. I'll tell you my start. But I'm going to stop getting in my own way and believing that my worth is lower or my value is lower than the other person on the other side sees me. I need to work on that.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to stop doing that, what I'm going to start doing, because I think this will help me. I already, to be honest, I do this a little bit, but I'm going to be very intentional about it. I'm not going to allow myself to even come up with my approach until I talk to somebody else and get them to help me say what would be the best possible outcome and then what would be an amazing outcome. That would just make me giddy and start there and get somebody else to help me get that orientation in a higher place or in a different place than where I would start, because getting yourself up to that number is harder if you anchor yourself too low. So I'm going to go to somebody that is in my trusted circle and have them help me throw out the first pitch for myself on where I'm going to start my own negotiation about what I'm going to put out there, and then I'm going to continue where I'm going to start my own negotiation about what I'm going to put out there, and then I'm going to continue. I'm going to continue to challenge myself around that through the process. And how do I ensure that I'm making sure that that thing that I'm reaching for is a reach and not just an easy get to? Because my value is seen higher outside of my head than I give it to myself and I need to remember that. So I'm going to continue to reach higher and have people negotiate with me. Have them say no, and that's a part of the process, right?

Speaker 1:

So what are you going to? Stop, start and continue? That was a hard one for me. I hope you take some time to really think about that and put into place what you need to to be thoughtful about in every interaction, especially when it's high stakes for you. What is your floor, what's your walk away, what is your ceiling and what would you be giddy about, so that you know you got a good deal because you defined what a good deal is for you. What is important to you? Oh gosh, this one's a tough one for me. Not a tough one, a challenging one and I would love to hear how this landed for you. What do you do differently? Please reach out to me. You can head over to negotiationlovecom. There's ways to connect with me, learn more about how to get into my world. I would love to hear from you. Please use that resource that's negotiationlovecom, and, as you know, I love negotiation and I don't want you to ever forget that negotiation is more than a skill, it's definitely a mindset. So until next time I will see you there.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to this episode of Leaders with Leverage. I am so honored that you chose to spend your time with me. If you're ready to accelerate your professional growth and invest in defining the career you want, I have more resources for you. You can join my newsletter, where your inbox will love a Monday minute. It's an easy read where I share stories of how others are adopting a negotiator's mindset, so that you can use these tips so that you can find success every week. And if you want to read my book, the Art of Everyday Negotiation Without Manipulation, I have a special offer just for my listeners. These links can be found in the show notes and if you want to work with me, there's more information there as well. I'd love for you to be a part of this movement to adopt a negotiator's mindset, because those who do create opportunities for themselves and they believe the investment is completely worth it. Head to the links in the show notes and just remember that I appreciate you.

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Susie Tomenchok

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