72. Embracing Vulnerability: How Men Benefit and Why They Hesitate

"We have freedom of choice, but we don’t have freedom of consequences.” Caught in a bind between two close friends entwined in a business quandary, the weight of secrecy presses heavily on Big A today.  As the president of Superior Rigging and Erecting Co., Patrick Lewis brings a wealth of experience to our candid discussion on the delicate balance of confidentiality in both our personal and professional lives. 

We venture into the complexities of withholding information, even from spouses, as we recall a compelling episode with my church's pulpit committee. The conversation unearths the critical foundations of trust and the nuanced implications of privacy across various spheres, from mastermind groups to intimate partnerships.

Key Takeaways:

• Why do men hate being vulnerable? 
• Big A didn't even WANT to be in his mastermind group
• The "I just wanna do whatever I wanna do" attitude ripple affect
• What qualifies your friends as trustworthy?

This episode isn't just about exposing the softer side; it's a call to action for anyone seeking REAL connection. It is CRITICAL to embrace vulnerability with ourselves and with others. After all, a truly fulfilling life—and a view from the top—is just on the other side of openness.

Connect With Patrick Lewis:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-lewis-superior-rigging/
Patrick Lewis is the President and CEO at Superior Rigging & Erecting Co., a hoisting, rigging and steel erection company with locations in Atlanta, Georgia and Orlando, Florida. He began working for Superior when he was just 10 years old and has seen the company grow from a small family business to a leader in their industry, employing over 370 employees. Patrick held multiple positions within the company before taking over as Owner/President in 2001.  Patrick attended Mercer University and received his Millwright JATC in 1996. Amongst his many accomplishments, Patrick is also Head Coach of Georgia Impact Fastpitch Softball and led his 18U team to become PGF National Champions in 2018.

Iron Sharpens Iron Live Event Free Ticket Giveaway: https://go.viewfromthetop.com/win

Join our LinkedIn Group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14378351/

Connect with Big A and Wally:
View From The Top Website: https://www.viewfromthetop.com/
The Climb Newsletter: https://www.viewfromthetop.com/climb
Big A’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronwalkerviewfromthetop/
Wally’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinwallenbeck/
View From The Top Book by Aaron Walker: https://a.co/d/gU9EDBa
What Do I Want Challenge: https://go.viewfromthetop.com/whatdoiwantchallenge

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everybody, welcome to View from the Top podcast where we help growth-minded businessmen who desire momentum in their business, their family, their finance. We help them get through the valley and up the mountain to their very own view from the top. Hey, I'm super glad y'all are listening in. Today Wally's going to be out, but I'm excited that today's co-host is Patrick Lewis, the president of Superior Raging and Erecting. They're down in Atlanta, georgia. Patrick's been a great friend of mine and a mastermind partner for many, many years.

Speaker 1: 0:34

We're going to deep dive into a pretty tough topic today its vulnerability and transparency and then we're going to talk about what does that even mean, patrick? Can you imagine a world think about this for a second. Can you imagine a world where you're an open book, like you're transparent to everyone that's around you, your thoughts, your actions, any underlying motives that we might have for everybody to see? I wonder how we would navigate such a world of complete openness and actually, if you want to know the truth, this is pretty scary to me. I don't know about you, but, man, how you doing today.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Man I'm doing good, Really honored to be here and looking forward to the topic today.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Well, I'm excited that you're here because you've been on quite the journey yourself I mean dealing with vulnerability and transparency and so proud of your growth. I've got to witness that for almost a decade now. So, man, I'm excited to jump in. But I do want to ask you a question before we get started.

Speaker 1: 1:34

I've kind of got myself in a little bit of a quandary and you and I have talked about similar things before. When I come down and visit with you or when you come up here, even during the mastermining, Confidentiality is a big deal in the world I live in, Like I'm coaching guys all over the world, we're leading these mastermind groups. But I've recently got myself in a crack and I'm really not sure something I'm dealing with right now. So I got a buddy of mine that owns a business and I've been involved in that business. I know it well, I know him well and he's kind of in a spot right now I mean like a real spot and I've pledged confidentiality to him.

Speaker 1: 2:12

I'm like I won't discuss that, you know, and I'm not today, I'm just giving the overview. But I'm also dealing with a very, very close friend almost family that's doing business with this company and they've shared with me their thoughts and process in dealing with this company. So I know both sides, Like I know both sides of the quandary and I'm not sure who I'll owe the loyalty to, because I want to be confidential to both those guys. What would you do in a case like that?

Speaker 2: 2:44

Wow, that's. Yeah, that's a tough one we talked about. We were going to talk a little confidentiality. I had no idea that was the direct extent was going to go. I don't know that. I have a great answer for that right. It's almost kind of like maybe lawyers that get involved and there's two parties that are suing each other. Maybe that lawyer's worked for both parties. They almost have to recuse themselves from that case and you know, promising confidentiality to both parties. I think you almost have to do the same thing. You almost have to recuse yourself from any um advisorship to either one of them, uh, and, and really kind of bow out of that gracefully without letting them know that you know something about the other. And and, uh, you certainly need to hold that confidentiality near and dear to your heart. So that's, that's a tough spot, big A.

Speaker 1: 3:31

It is a tough spot and I love both these guys and I know that one of them really needs the business and I don't want to cut his legs out and I know at the same time the other one really needs a great job and I'm afraid he's not going to get it and he stands to lose a lot of money and so I'm really torn about that. Let's take it to a little more practical level in confidentiality and I get into these discussions all the time with guys because we really talk about confidentiality and I saw a lot. I mean, when you're in these groups, 10 men in a group I mean the quickest way to get kicked out of iron sharpens, iron mastermind, is to, you know, breach one of those confidential conversations. And I know you're in a lot of confidential situations. How important is confidentiality to you as a person? And then, how do you deal with that in your organization, cause you've got a very large organization there. How do you deal with it?

Speaker 2: 4:25

Yeah, you know confidentiality is the basis of trust, right it's. If somebody breaks that, you obviously you break the trust. And I think it's just just preaching and having conversations with those in your circle and in your business and in your employment of why it's important and making sure that you get transparency and vulnerability into those conversations so that they can understand maybe the damage that's done if we, if we break confidentiality and you know it's the backbone of everything we do, from all all dealings, whether it's business relationships, personal relationships or or marital relationships it's something we have to hold near and dear.

Speaker 1: 5:02

Speaking of marital relationships again, we're going to get into the topic in a second. I stood alone in this scenario recently. I was involved at our church where they picked a pulpit committee to choose a pastor about 40 people making the decision. One of the criteria was is the 10 people that were being chosen to be on this pulpit committee? They couldn't discuss with their wife about where they went, who they interviewed, who the possible candidate was, and I voted against it. I said I'm not gonna agree to that, and so they took a vote, and it was 39 to one. They said hey, I think that the confidentiality needs to remain with this group. We can't offer an opportunity for that to get out into the public, and my contention on that is is that God put. Robin and I together have been married 44 years now.

Speaker 1: 5:58

And I don't want another man to tell me that I can't trust my spouse. Now that doesn't mean I'm gonna go tell her. Nine out of 10 times I don't go tell her. But a buddy of mine caught me in the parking lot and he said I wanna tell you something, but I don't want you to say anything to Robin about it. And I said well, stop right there, don't tell me. And he started laughing. He goes I know your position on this. He said you do whatever you feel like you need to do. I will say that some people can't be trusted and you shouldn't go and tell them. But I take my marriage covenant that important that God joined us together and it's confidential outside of mine and Robin's relationship, right Outside of that. But I was just curious. I know you're not currently married. Maybe at some point you've been married. But any thoughts around that? Then we're gonna get into today's topic.

Speaker 2: 6:47

No, I think you're spot on. I think, when you make that covenant with your spouse, you certainly ought to be comfortable and in a position where you can share anything and everything that you have, whether from a confidential standpoint from somebody else or not, right? Sometimes you may, to your point, you may not choose to share, right?

Speaker 2: 7:04

I don't think we have to share everything right If it doesn't affect them or if it doesn't bring harm to them, but definitely should be a covenant that you uphold to move forward. And some people say, hey, don't tell Robin or don't tell so-and-so. That's just fear in them and what the information is So-and-so.

Speaker 1: 7:24

Hey, let's dive into what we were gonna talk about today, and when I was kinda doing the opening, I was giving a little hint that we're talking about vulnerability and transparency. All joking aside, though, we'll use you as a case study here for a second. What if your life were an open book Like today? Everybody that was interacting with you, they knew your thoughts, they knew your actions, they knew your motives in some of these business decisions that you're doing, some of these private conversations that you're having with family and friends. How do you feel about the idea of complete transparency and everything that you do with everybody? And I'm kinda gonna make a point here in a second, the reason I'm making it so broad but do you think you would do things differently, you would behave differently if it were, you were just an open book?

Speaker 2: 8:13

I probably wouldn't have any relationships at all.

Speaker 1: 8:16

Yes for everybody. Me either, I probably would.

Speaker 2: 8:19

If everybody knew my thoughts and my feelings and those sort of things.

Speaker 1: 8:25

You've looked at me sometimes when I've said something I'd given $100 to know what you were thinking. But you were most of the time. You tell me.

Speaker 2: 8:31

But I'm like what does he really?

Speaker 1: 8:33

think about this.

Speaker 2: 8:34

I'm learning discernment in some of those things. I used to be a really open book, and really I used to be an open book of the bad things out of just. That was the easy way for people not to find out who I was right. I'd go ahead and tell you who I was or what the bad part labels of me were. But yeah, as much as you still try to be an amazing person and try to be a man of God, I still have thoughts that aren't holy and aren't that so.

Speaker 2: 8:59

I think, vulnerability is super important, but we also have to have discernment and won't be vulnerable about the things that we share. Otherwise, we wouldn't have any relationships.

Speaker 1: 9:08

Yeah. Another side of that is there are some people, though, that you can be that way with. Okay, we're gonna talk about that a few more minutes. There's some guys that say hey, it's my life, it's my business, I'll do whatever I please, and they don't have any desire for transparency or authenticity. And I always combat that and say I don't think you have the freedom to do whatever you please when it has an impact, an adverse impact, on other people, especially their families. When I'm coaching guys now, they'll say I'm the man of the house and I'll do what I want. And I'm like well, wait a minute, you got a spouse and you got three kids, and there's a negative impact on them, and they don't want the transparency. They don't wanna be vulnerable in front of their family. What do you say to those guys?

Speaker 2: 12:06

Yeah, I'd go to an old analogy that I've used with people in my life, and even with my son a lot. They used to drive him crazy. Here's the truth we have freedom of choice, but we don't have freedom of consequence.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Right.

Speaker 2: 12:21

So we have a freedom of choice. If we don't wanna be vulnerable, anyway, we just gonna say, hey, I'm gonna do what I wanna do and how I wanna do it, and I don't care who it hurts or whoever it's. The consequence is, like we just said you're not gonna have any relationships, you're not gonna have any happiness, you're not gonna have any peace, you're not gonna have any authentic connections in your life. So I think vulnerability and authenticity something as man we have to learn to embrace, and learn to embrace it with the right people and realize the pluses and just the joy it brings to us and the richness that it brings to our life, versus being fearful of it.

Speaker 1: 12:56

You've been on quite a journey recently yourself in discovering real, authentic relationships. You've not talked at length about it hours, weeks, months, possibly. What is the quality of the person that you're looking for in order to be authentic? Like what is it that they must possess? Because you're a big public figure, you're on a big company, multiple locations, got a lot of people working, hundreds and hundreds of people working for you, and I'm sure there's a small sect of that group that you are more vulnerable with than others. Obviously, but getting down to where it's unfiltered, how many relationships do you have that are unfiltered, that you feel a real sense of peace and you're like it's okay, I can go there? And what qualities do those persons have?

Speaker 2: 13:50

Yeah, that circle is really small. I could count them. I don't even need all of one hand to count all of those relationships on. It's probably a total of about three to four people that I would have just complete vulnerability and complete openness with, and those are relationships that they take time to get to that point right. It's trust, this bill, it's equal footing and equal work from both sides of that relationship and so understanding the other person's heart, what their intentions are, and giving them the space to show them that and giving them the safety to show them that towards you and then that you can show that back. So I think vulnerability is just like interest, right. It just compounds on itself. So if we start out and we find those few people that we can be that with and we just start giving little bits of it and it slowly builds and builds till it's more, till we realize those are the people, so you gotta give trust.

Speaker 1: 14:49

In order to get trust right, you gotta dole out. And it was probably 25 years ago when I met Dave Ramsey and he invited me to join the Equals Group. 10 of us met every Wednesday for 10 or 12 years. In the first several months, like I didn't even wanna be there first of all, and it took time for me to listen. And I'll tell you what was the catalyst for me to being vulnerable is that the leader of the organization was vulnerable. He wasn't just asking me.

Speaker 1: 15:23

Dan Miller and Dave Ramsey, ken Abraham, ron Doyle some of those guys started talking about challenges in their own family and I was like man, he's not talking about that on the radio.

Speaker 1: 15:35

And then Ken Abraham telling me situations that he was dealing with, and some of the other guys were saying, hey, I've got children that have kind of gone, you know, down a bad path, and I was like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 15:47

And then guys were saying, hey, in my business I'm having some cash flow issues right now and I was like, wow, the world don't know this, right, I mean, you guys have these businesses and it gave me the freedom to go in there and it was a real pivotal time in my life because I had just had an automobile accident where I ran over and killed that pedestrian and I was scared. I didn't know what the future was gonna look like. I didn't know how I was gonna get over that and I would go in there sometimes, literally sometimes I would get so emotional, I would cry, I would be like I don't know what to do next and I don't know where to go from here. And it was safe, man, they would get around me, they would pray for me, they would call me, they would take me to lunch, they would give me the hour hour and a half in the group and I was going. I wonder what I would do if I didn't have a group like that.

Speaker 2: 16:37

Or.

Speaker 1: 16:37

I wonder now today, I think back of all the things that I did alone. That isolation is the enemy to excellence is true, and I wonder what I would do. But I do wanna stress that being vulnerable in the wrong setting can be catastrophic. You do not wanna go out there and air all your dirty laundry to a complete stranger. You wanna go slow. Even in ISI we have applicants that sign up and we do research and we check them out and we ask questions and even then we go slow right To indoctrinate them into the culture that we've built here, because we wanna be sure they're trustworthy and, as I said earlier, the quickest way to get kicked out is to breach that confidentiality. But the guys that are really most vulnerable are the guys that are growing the most. So, without being specific, you don't need to be specific in nature. What are some of the areas in your life recently that you've been a little more vulnerable or transparent about, and what growth have you seen as a result of it?

Speaker 2: 17:43

Yeah, before we do that, I cannot kind of back up just a second Something you said just because I've never thought about this to you, just said it, or at least put it in those terms. Number one you said when you first started in the Eagles you didn't wanna be there. So I'm gonna ask you a question, tanshon, just a second. What was it in you and why you didn't wanna be there? But then you went into explain something that I think's important, that we shouldn't miss. You felt safety when you saw commonality with those men when you saw that they're human and they are experiencing troubles.

Speaker 2: 18:19

They're experiencing difficulties and they modeled something for you that maybe you weren't showing yourself right. I'd never seen it before.

Speaker 1: 18:28

I'd never seen guys like that be vulnerable and transparent and I thought just Robert and I had some of those problems and I was like living behind a facade. It was like I was fear of being judged. Quite honestly, I was afraid I was ashamed. There was shame involved, like if they find out we're struggling in this area, they're not gonna think as high of me. Or if they find out I don't have as much, maybe as they might think, then they're gonna think less of me and there is nothing further from the truth. But that's the way I felt. I thought I was gonna be compared and that's not true either, what we are where we're at today and we need to build on that solid foundation. And these guys made me feel so relaxed. I was the junior in the room. I was the youngest guy in the room with 10 other guys only by a few months, but I was still the youngest guy in the group and they really modeled for me that vulnerability and transparent.

Speaker 1: 19:20

It changed my life. 100% of my life was changed as a result of going in there. I tease about this, but it's true. I told Robin she goes. Why don't you wanna go? I said well, I've been a sponsor of Dave Ramsey's show for numbers of years now, before that, and he's gonna find out. I got real estate debt and I don't want him to know it. And so I said and so we are getting fault through that over the years, you know which? I still don't mind having real estate debt, but anyway, that's for a different podcast episode. But the truth is I thought they were gonna judge me and I didn't wanna be embarrassed.

Speaker 2: 19:55

So you didn't feel like you were enough? No, I didn't at all.

Speaker 1: 19:59

No, I didn't feel like I measured up.

Speaker 2: 20:01

Yeah, and I think that's one of the greatest things that keep men from being vulnerable and you and I talked about this offline, I don't know, a couple of weeks ago is the fear and the shame that they're gonna find out I'm not who they think I am, and sometimes I guess mislabel is pride, as we were talking about, as I wanna be right but it isn't right. It's such fear and shame of being seen for who you truly are. That's why it's important. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 20:33

Let's talk about that label. You said the other day it's labeling you. Let's go ahead and cause. I said something about younger years when I knew you. There was a sense of arrogance and pride and you went whoa, whoa, whoa, wait about, rip my head off over the phone, tell them what you told me in regards to that's kind of putting a label on. It was very interesting.

Speaker 2: 20:53

Yeah, I just think we have to be careful labeling people whether it's arrogant, it's cocky, what prideful whatever the label is, that we see somebody being interacting and how we perceive it. We can stop their healing by putting the wrong label on it and what our interpretation of it is right. So, like I said this to you, right, when I first came in to ISI, and probably the guys in ISI could have said he's arrogant, he's cocky, he's prideful, he's brash, you could label it whatever you want. The reality of it is I wasn't any of those things. That's how people perceive the behavior, but I was scared. I was scared that people would find out I wasn't who I said I was.

Speaker 2: 21:42

And so we have to be careful about telling people and putting a label on them, cause we can stop them from really looking inside of themselves to really change the behavior. And so, instead of labeling them, talk to them about their behavior, right, Cause it's one thing to if I said hey, big A, I'm sensing some fear in you for being open here today. Can we talk about what you're scared of or what the fear is, so that maybe we can help you? You feel safety in that. Yeah, you do the other way. You wanna fight you?

Speaker 1: 22:15

just push me in the corner.

Speaker 2: 22:16

Hey, big A, you're being prideful. What's this pride about?

Speaker 1: 22:20

Yeah, I shut down, then I get argumentative and combative. I wanna fight, I wanna win. The other way is inviting. So it's really not what you say, it's how you say it, yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:31

I think it's just talking about the behaviors. Right, there's labels and behaviors.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Take the label away.

Speaker 2: 22:36

Let's talk about someone's behaviors and how they're affecting us.

Speaker 1: 22:40

Yeah, you've really grown a lot in the past few years related to that cause. Your presentation style was not that polished a few years ago and today you've done a remarkable job. You've really taken a deep dive into yourself. You're really kind of feeling the layers back and you're looking. Would you agree that fear of rejection is one of the reasons, or one of the primary reasons, that people don't wanna be vulnerable or transparent today?

Speaker 2: 23:07

For sure, we all wanna be liked, we all wanna be accepted, and so if you find out something about me that you don't like, you may yeah, you're gonna reject me. We may not have a relationship, we may not talk anymore, or whatever. You may tell other people about me, so then it's even more rejection.

Speaker 1: 23:25

Is it fair to say that the real relationships do challenge, like if you really care about me, you will challenge me and you'll stick with me and you'll call me out. You and I have had some pretty heated discussions and I've been around you with other people you care about and you're like I wouldn't spend that much energy on somebody I didn't care about. I just go to go, do whatever you wanna do. But when you do care about somebody, you do call them to task, you do challenge them. Is that been helpful to you in your growth for people to really take you to task or call you respect? That? There's a respect that you have and I have of people that Listen to this. Admit one thing, though we do kind of like a tussle a little bit we do.

Speaker 2: 24:10

like conflict we do kind of like it.

Speaker 1: 24:14

I even talk about topics that are highly debated and may even push back on you, even if I agree with you like I like that confrontation, you know. So we got to be careful with that. We can push people away. So you and I both need to be careful with that. But I think, as we head towards ending up today, is that being vulnerable to the right people forms an inseparable relationship. I think, because we've got into that and we've really spent time.

Speaker 1: 24:45

It's messy, isn't it really? I mean, it's a lot easier not to deal with it and I've got some of my best friends for 3040 years. That man we have Fault worse than brothers, right literally in about like I was fixing to get killed. I felt like you know, with some yelling and hollering and carrying on, but then you hug each other and go to lunch, right. It takes some time to kind of get through that and I don't really think it's possible to have a real meaningful relationship without that level of authenticity. I think it's otherwise. It's kind of surface level and it's a facade and I don't have a lot of time for that anymore. Yeah, no.

Speaker 2: 25:26

Yeah, me, me there. I think it's important to say, right as far as conflict is going back to, that Conflict has to be healthy. There's, there's growth and healthy conflict, and to be healthy, you have to have authenticity with a person and trust within that. And so it's important, though, the people that are in my circle feel comfortable to call me out, tell me when I'm not doing something I need to be doing, or I'm not talking to someone in the right way, or I'm wrong in a relationship, or wrong in a business decision, and that I'm in a place to to hear that and to receive that and to take action from it. And you know, you said being vulnerable is not easy. It's not easier to not be vulnerable. I agree with that. On the surface it's, it's way easier to not be vulnerable, but if you truly want, a lot more work it takes a lot more work but you

Speaker 2: 26:14

really won't joy and happiness in your life, and for me, that was the journey. I was without joy and happiness for 4547 years. In the last three years, my life has been so much joy and so much happiness that you know I can have moments during the day that aren't aren't good, but I'm not going to have a bad day anymore because I've learned to be vulnerable and create authentic connections, and by doing that, what I've learned to do is also have that authenticity authenticity with myself and being vulnerable with myself, which then allows me to know what I need and won't for my life.

Speaker 1: 26:49

That may be as hard as being vulnerable to the outside world is being authentic with yourself and really answering questions. Do I really want to do that? I know Kevin and I got into a conversation recently and it was about our business and he said you have to make a decision. We can't go forward until you make a decision around the vision. And I was like, well, I feel like I need to do this and I feel like I need to do that and I feel you know he's like what do you want to do? And I didn't want to answer the question. I really didn't want to answer the question and Robin and I had to spend weeks to talk through that and I was like the reality of it. When I finally answered. It gave great freedom to me and everybody around me because we were able to portray the vision, how we were going to go forward.

Speaker 1: 27:41

What do guys do today that's listening to this? They're like man, I don't have anybody like that. Like, do you think there's a shortage of role models today or there's a shortage of places to be vulnerable and transparent? Like, of course, it's our business. Iron, Sharp and Iron. It's what we do every day. But from the outside world. You're in business, very successful businessman. What recommendations or suggestions would you give to other businessmen out there to find this level of ability to be open?

Speaker 2: 28:12

and vulnerable. I think you have to be intentional about it. It's real easy to say that there's a shortage of role models out there, there's a shortage of mentors, but the reality of it is there's a shortage of men seeking it, because if you seek it and you open yourself up and put yourself into places, you're gonna find it. It's just gonna take really concerted effort from you. It's gonna take guys reaching out and joining whether it's Iron, sharp and Iron. It's joining churches, it's joining Sunday schools there. It's finding men in areas that in the life that you wanna improve upon, surround yourself with like-minded business people that are doing more than you, or like-minded Christian people or men. But you just gotta put yourself in the room and if you put yourself in the room and you're open to it, you're gonna find the right mentor. There's not a shortage you know my dad.

Speaker 1: 29:08

He would be 93 if he was still alive and I remember as a kid my dad would say don't tell anybody anything Like whatever we discuss as a family.

Speaker 1: 29:15

We're gonna do it here. That generation was very, very private. It's been a real challenge for me. You know, I'll be 63 in March of this year and even now I hear my dad going don't tell anybody, don't say anything, don't you know? And I was like Godly man how, and honestly, I miss some opportunities with my kids when they were young. My children are adults now, with adult children themselves, and so I miss some opportunities to really be more vulnerable and authentic with my children and I can't undo it. That's what I hate, right, and I don't wanna have many regrets.

Speaker 1: 29:52

But the truth is, guys that are listening to me today, there's great value in being authentic and vulnerable with your children and teaching them how to do that. So hopefully we're breaking through that generational thing and we're kind of coming to a place to where we understand and we see the value, because there's tons of value for me in sharing my struggles now. It makes me realize I'm not alone, like I don't have to do it by myself, you know in my own head, like it's worse than it normally is, like I build this thing up. It's like nobody wants to do this and they're all gonna leave, and you know. But when I'm talking to rational people that are not caught up emotionally. They have a different perspective that adds so much value and I'm like I didn't even think about that. And so you can go faster.

Speaker 1: 30:40

And I hear a lot of guys say that man, I don't wanna be slowed down. Well, the thing is and we all heard it's a cliche, but you can go much further with a group, with a tribe you can go faster. But I wonder if there was a better way. I wonder if their perspective on your situation might have exponentially got you there faster by going a little bit slower. So what is your experience being Patrick with that struggle? Cause I know early on you were so lower right. There were some things you were doing alone, you were moving at a pretty fast pace.

Speaker 1: 31:15

What benefit slowing down has added to your personal growth as well as your company?

Speaker 2: 31:22

Well, we're always meant to do things within a community and I didn't see that for a long time with not being open and vulnerable. And you know, in my business I've said we've been successful in spite of ourselves and in spite of me. Really, so, slowing down to surround myself with people that could have given me different perspective probably would have got me to where we're at as a company a whole lot faster. And you know, I came up at Superior and my dad was a part owner of that for those that don't know and him and his partner. They didn't tell like you didn't share the business info with anybody. There was nobody in that company was gonna find out how they were doing. It was just you got your check and you went home and there wasn't a vision preached and there was none of that.

Speaker 2: 32:05

And so that's how I led for a long time and it's lonely, it's it's it's dipoles, growth and getting away from that mentality to now where you know, I talk to the people. I share with them financials, I share with them how we're doing, where we're going, what the direction is. What I share them are wins or losses, and I'm pretty open with that stuff and it's making a huge difference. It's really creating buy-in across the board and everybody wanting to row the boat in the same direction, and so, yeah, it's community is the answer.

Speaker 1: 32:43

The last point I wanted to make was is when we face our fears head-on about being vulnerable, it actually builds a sense of resilience and confidence within us, and I didn't see that. When I first started thinking about being vulnerable, I never in a million years thought that it would produce resilience in any sense of confidence in me, but it has. Dr Andy Garrett in our mastermind group has created a complete course on resilience. They'll be in the show notes, so be sure and check that out. Dr Andy is a great guy and he's done an in-depth study on resilience and what they can do for you, and he really talks a lot about authenticity and transparency. Listen, guys. I just want to say as we end up today, there's great value in having positive role models who can encourage openness and honesty with the right people. But it's got to be the right people, so think through what those persons are.

Speaker 1: 33:41

When you embrace vulnerability, it offers you a lot of advantages. There's stress reduced, like I talked about earlier. You know, I'm able to go with a group now rather than by myself. There's a cultivation of stronger and more authentic relationships. Nobody wants surface relationships. We all want those deep relationships and then really the enhanced self-awareness and personal growth, and I don't know about you, but I really want to live out my life to its maximum. I don't want to coast, I don't want to do it average, I want to maximize that. And we can't do that unless we self-reflect, unless we really get in and uncover the layers to find out what it's going to cause in our lives. If we don't have that level of authenticity and transparency.

Speaker 1: 34:30

And I want to tell you today, if you want to live that life and have that view from the top, you've got to embrace vulnerability. Hey, if you're new here, be sure to look back through the previous episodes for topics that you need a little help with, maybe a little inspiration, or maybe there's some motivation that you need to get your butt in gear. And you can do that with your favorite listening platform or you can go to viewfromthetopcom forward slash podcast to discover more. Or, as always, you can reach out to us via email. It's at poddcom, and thanks again for joining us. I can't wait to see you again next week.