75. How to Escape The Paralysis of Competing Goals

"I have more goals than I have bandwidth. I don't know which ones to let go of. Help me..." Jeff Miller, an entrepreneur in our community , asks a really solid question: "How do I manage all the competing goals in my life. I understand that I wear many hats, a husband, a dad, and a businessman. I have goals in every area of my life. The truth is I have more goals than I have bandwidth. I don’t know which ones to let go of. Please help me…"

Wally and Big A answer Jeff Miller's question by admitting they have the same issue. We all have competing goals in our lives, it's how we handle them that matters. We deep dive into how to prioritize our goals in marriage and our journey to making better decisions for our family. 
 
Key Takeaways:

• What do you do when you feel paralyzed by the sheer amount of goals you have
• Why Wally fired his wife!
• How to make better decisions using a "decision making matrix"
• What core values have to do with goals

We're wrapping up this one with a playbook of tactics that can help transform the endless goals you have into actionable to-dos. We're dishing on software development strategies that have shaped my approach to goal setting and advocating for bringing your family and teammates into the goal-setting huddle. Grab your notepad and let's sketch out a game plan to turn your ultimate ambitions into reality, one intentional step at a time.

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Big A’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronwalkerviewfromthetop/
Wally’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinwallenbeck/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everybody, welcome back to View from the Top podcast, where we help growth-minded men who desire momentum in their business, their family and their finances get through the valleys and up the mountains into their very own View from the Top man. I'm glad you're listening today. My name is Wally and today we've got a question from a businessman that is one of our listeners in our audience about prioritizing his goals. You know he's got personal goals and family goals and business goals and ministry goals. He's got a lot of things on his plate. We've got a lot of things on our plates. So today we're gonna look at what are some perspectives and tools that we can use to help us navigate competing goals. So listen in as Big A and I break it down. And, speaking of Big A, let's get him in the studio. Big A, you ready to dive in today?

Speaker 2: 0:48

Come on, wally, I'm ready to roll, man, I'm ready to go, I'm getting excited. Here we are at the beginning of 2024, right in this first quarter, and we're ready to hit the ground running. So things are already going good and I'm excited about what the rest of the year is gonna bring. So, yes, sir, I'm ready to roll Right on, man, I'm right there with you.

Speaker 2: 1:07

Hey, I was talking to Robin just a couple of days ago about something and I was anxiously awaiting you to get back in town because I wanted to talk to you about this and thought it would be a good time to do it here. We were talking through some things that you know, that we give up as a spouse and the things that we're like, no, I'm not giving that up. And I started thinking through that and I thought, well, I'm selfish sometimes, you know, when I start thinking about things that I wanna do and as we get older you know empty nesters, we're kind of in that fourth quarter it's like, well, I don't wanna give that up, I wanna do that thing. And then I started thinking back over the course of our marriage, things that I've given up, things that Robin has given up for the benefit of the family, you know, benefit of each other and I started thinking about what was one of the hardest things I've ever given up. And just in my mind it was one of those selfish moments because we were debating about some things that we're doing now and I thought I wonder, I wonder what the hardest thing I've ever really given up for the sake of the family and I don't laugh when I tell you this, but you're gonna think it's comical, but for me it was in my heyday when I was really tournament fishing all over.

Speaker 2: 2:24

My dad and I were winning all these tournaments and we were doing well and you know, and they were on Saturday and Sunday and I was like man and Robin would always put up a little fuss. You know she goes, you're gonna go again, you know, this weekend and we were going to Kentucky Lake and Cordell Hole and Barkley and all these lakes around and we would have to go down usually on Thursday and pre-fish, oh wow. And then we would sometimes let the fish rest, but sometimes not on Friday, and then the tournament was Saturday and Sunday. And then I get back late Sunday night and I know it was quite a bit, but I came home from a tournament once and I got home really late on a Sunday night and Robin came up to me and she said I'm tired of carrying the girls to church by myself and I had to make a decision. I'm like, what am I gonna do? Like I'm winning all these tournaments with my dad and we're having a great time, and I gave it up. I quit.

Speaker 1: 3:25

Like cold turkey. Like cold turkey gave it up.

Speaker 2: 3:28

No, I finished out the season. You know, it was only a few more weeks actually into that. She'd had enough, though, but I finished out fishing for the season, and then, yeah, we started fishing some night tournaments and things that didn't require me to travel, and but I gave it up, you know, for the benefit of my family, and I think it was the right move. I might be single today if I had to give it up, but what about you? Have you ever had to make a decision in you and Sonia's marriage or for your kids? Or maybe it was just something that maybe it was little, maybe it was big, I don't know. You ever given anything up?

Speaker 1: 4:05

I didn't have anything like you know, fishing tournaments with my dad that we were winning and having to make that decision. That would have been tough. But I've also never had anything where Sonia's, you know, kind of drawn a line in the sand either, but one of the things. That's a smaller thing, but you know, we all have things that are important to us, right, whether it's a hobby, whether it's a possession or something like that. So for me it was. I got a.

Speaker 1: 4:33

When I was growing up I always had, like it's my first, my first two wheel. Of course I had bicycles, but my first two wheel motorized vehicle was a moped, an old Yamaha 50, that big old fat seat down there. And I got that one. I was like 16. And I know it looked like a dork going up and down the roads, but it got me there faster than pedaling, so it was cheaper than a car. So then I got a scooter the next year, at 17, went a little faster. I graduated from like 18, 20 miles an hour to like 45 miles an hour.

Speaker 1: 5:06

And then I bought a motorcycle when I graduated high school. Wasn't anything crazy, it was like it wasn't a crotch rocket or anything like that. I wasn't going. I wasn't that kind of that wasn't, like you know, tearing up the roads and that kind of stuff. But I just enjoyed riding motorcycles and so it wasn't a big stocky bike, it was a medium sized bike, but just a 650. And it was man. I loved it. It was so great and I had that and I rode it quite often, I mean when the weather was good. And then we'd been married two years, two and a half years, and we had our first child and we had one car. Then we didn't have two cars, we had one car and I had to choose. I had to make a decision because of having a child, if I was going to keep the bike or get rid of it, for us to get another car. And so I sold it and I don't I want to say I regret it. I mean, back then we had no money.

Speaker 2: 6:06

It was $900,. Right, it was a $900 bike.

Speaker 1: 6:09

I bought it for $900 and I sold it for $900. It wasn't like it was a ton of money, but I bought a $700 car with that $900 bike, you know, and I missed that thing. Matter of fact, I was looking through some pictures this last week and, lo and behold, there was a picture of that motorcycle.

Speaker 2: 6:29

Wow, send me a picture of it. I want to see it.

Speaker 1: 6:31

My high school graduation party.

Speaker 2: 6:32

I want to see you on the Moped, though more than I want to see. No, how many pictures of that.

Speaker 1: 6:36

I don't want to prove for that I was.

Speaker 2: 6:37

I was something, yeah, so I had to give that up.

Speaker 1: 6:40

They'd give it out for family and and I missed it, I really missed it, you know for a long time Still do today actually a little bit.

Speaker 2: 6:48

The point of the matter is is that all of us have to make decisions. Right, we get into this situation to where we have to make decisions, which really kind of takes us into today's episode of talking about the paralysis of competing goals. And a couple of weeks ago we were doing a really fun event here in Nashville at the Entrepreneur's Center by the way, we do those on a regular basis, if you're ever interested. But we do regional roundtable meetups where we'll have, you know, anywhere from 10 to 30, 40 guys come together and we hang out and do some really cool activities. And we were doing that just a few weeks ago here in Nashville and one of the guys there and he doesn't mind me mentioning his name, he's a great guy, entrepreneur here in Nashville, jeff Miller, was sitting in our table and I think he asked a really solid question. He said big A, how do I manage all the competing goals in my life? And I said well, dive a little deeper. What are you talking about exactly? And he said man, I wear so many hats.

Speaker 2: 7:50

He said, first and foremost, you know, I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I've got a couple of kids, I'm a businessman. You know, I've got a partner, I've got all these things in my life. And he said the truth is is I have more goals than I have bandwidth to accomplish them. And he said I'm in a real dilemma. He said I don't know which one to let go of, which one to you know, really tackle and go forward. And he said, man, if there's any way you guys could help me break this down, that would be great. And when I started thinking about some of those it reminded me of when I was a younger entrepreneur, it was like man, he's exactly right. But then I started thinking I'm still dealing with the same thing even right now in our business.

Speaker 1: 8:32

And.

Speaker 2: 8:32

Jeff just wanted to know how he could manage these things without constantly being bombarded with opportunities, you know, in the future and creating more demands on his time and how to prioritize these goals. And he said, quite honestly, I feel overwhelmed. And he said then, sometimes I feel guilty. He's like, you know, it's like I wanna do all these things, but I wanna do the right thing for my family. And he said is there any strategies that we could adopt to help us really balance our aspirations and be more effective? And so, yeah, man, when I started thinking through that, it opened up a really, really good conversation at the table and he was just burdened. He just said, hey, I wanna really figure out how I can win at every area of my life. And I thought, man, we need to answer that on the podcast today. We just need to kind of break it down and see if we can help him. Was this ever for you as a young man, wally, or even now maybe, has this ever been kind of a challenge for you in balancing prioritizing?

Speaker 1: 9:36

your goals? Yeah, competing goals, man, I think always it's been. You know there's a lot of guys listening. First of all, I appreciate Jeff raising that question. You bring that out. I think a lot of guys listening today are struggling with that same thing. You know, I always have there's. You know a lot of guys listening are forward, moving people and you know for myself, it was a struggle for me and my younger business days.

Speaker 1: 10:05

You know, looking back now it's crazy to think I've been, you know, in business now for over 20 years and you know, viable business. I started a lot of things before that didn't work out quite well, but had something that took off. You know, 20 years ago and looking back, man, I hadn't learned the hard way quite a few times. I remember building my first team. This is a little over 10 years ago, so about 12, 12, 13 years ago now.

Speaker 1: 10:32

You know I was the visionary one with all the ideas and, man, it would just overwhelm my team leaders. So as I was building my first team, putting team leaders in place, you know I felt as I got the built a team, I got the team leaders in place. You, as a business owner, a businessman, you start to feel that sense of freedom right, because I've got people that you're delegating to and not just giving up things that you don't want to do anymore, but you're delegating and you're getting people in roles and positions where they're doing better at that thing than even you were. And so now you have this little bit of sense of freedom and so you've got more mind space and as a forward moving person man, I oh my gosh like I would just overwhelm my team leaders and just spread out too much of our resources and just make very little progress on much of anything?

Speaker 2: 11:25

Did you know you were doing it at the time?

Speaker 1: 11:27

No, not at the time.

Speaker 2: 11:28

I mean, you didn't realize they were being overwhelmed and you really didn't even know that, like what you're doing at the time. And I think that's true for a lot of guys.

Speaker 1: 11:35

Yeah, they're not even aware that they're doing it. Yeah, now it's that whole. You know, mile wide, inch deep, versus an inch wide and mild, deep practice. But I think once I learned some of the tools and perspectives to help me get focused, you know both the success that I was experiencing and the significance that I was hoping for really started to soar. You know, more customers, more money but maybe most importantly, happier, more satisfied team members.

Speaker 2: 12:03

Yeah, Well, what were some of the things that you proactively did like with that team? Once you discovered that, what did you start putting together so that the listeners out there could maybe know the first right step in regards to once you discover what that talent was of vision casting, and what were some of the tools that you might have used that helped you discover how to make different application in what you were doing?

Speaker 1: 12:31

Man, I think for me, I think, the first thing that I've learned over the years and not by myself, I've had a lot of guys around me a lot of that has been an idea of understanding for ourselves. Like we asked this question. You asked this question a lot. You know well, what do you want? People say, what are your goals? You're like well, what do you want?

Speaker 1: 12:47

It's like I don't know how many people can't answer that question, and even often you and I, even this last six months of our lives, we've asked each other that question or posed it to ourselves, and it's like, man, I'm not really quite sure what I want, and so what I'm learning to do is ask myself a question, the question before the question, right? So, instead of what do I want, start asking myself what's most important and being able to you know, I'm a journal learner, so being able to start writing out some things about what's really most important in my life and you know everything from, you know personal wellness, to relationships and family, to my faith, to my finances, to my professional, my business pursuits what really is truly most important to me. If I have to look at all those areas of my life and forget about what I want for a second. Just think about what's most important to me.

Speaker 2: 13:46

I think oftentimes it's very important for us to talk about right here at this spot, because oftentimes what I want doesn't align with what I need to do, and you and I have the privilege today, quite honestly, to be able to make a decision what we want and go do that.

Speaker 2: 14:06

And we're just a little further down the road than a lot of people just simply because we're older and we've had businesses, and it's easier now to make a decision around what I want and align that with some of the things that I do, rather than I just had to grind it out.

Speaker 2: 14:22

When I was younger, it was, like man, I do not want to do this at all, but I made a commitment to Robin and to my family, and these are some of the things that I've just got to buckle down and do, and so I think that it's nice to be able to prioritize in a way, but I think there's seasons I think we just get caught sometimes where we just got to go do man up, we just got to go do what we've got to do, and so I think that's an important distinction for the listeners that they're thinking through, like man, I would love to make a decision on what I would like to do, but I've got this debt, I've got these kids, I've got this marriage and the truth is I got to set all that stuff aside.

Speaker 2: 15:02

I got to set that 650 Yamaha aside right now, I got to set those tournaments aside right now and I've got to go take care of my family, like I said I was going to do. So I think that we can't get those things confused. Just because you're not getting to do what you want to do today doesn't mean that you're not doing the right thing.

Speaker 1: 15:21

You make a good point in there. These seasons of life about what I might want to do may not be something that I can do today, because I've identified what's most important to me. I know you've coached. You've told some crazy stories about not names or anything like that, but just coaching opportunities. You've had in the past with guys that we would look at in the public arena and just be like, oh, they got it all together, they know what's up, they're super, even financially successful, and at this, at a particular season in their life, they're looking at what they want more than maybe what's important, and you've helped them come back to be able to answer that question first, and I think there are seasons of life for sure.

Speaker 2: 18:27

It goes back, wally, to what you just said a few minutes ago, though, is prioritizing what's most important and not confusing that with what you want, because a lot of the things and even my responsibilities now, even though you know I've been married over 40 years you've been married over 30 years. I mean, you'd rather go ride your bike some Saturday mornings, but like Sonia needs you to help her clean up the house, and like I'd rather go on the lake and do some things and there's some chores that I got to do with Robin or take care of my mom, and so there's a rightness in some of the things that we need to be taking care of.

Speaker 1: 19:05

Were you and Robin always on the same page with with when it came to, you know, your family goals, responsibilities? I mean, obviously you talked about the fishing thing, but were there other things as well?

Speaker 2: 19:20

Oh man, we've not been on the same page in so many arenas in our marriage For decades. You know you, you go through different things. We're in a really good spot right now, praise the Lord. But over the course of our marriage, yeah, there's been times where it's like we're figuring it out. You know it's like, hey, you know, when I first got married, I've never been married before.

Speaker 2: 19:42

You know I always did whatever I wanted to. And now I'm married and I got this responsibility and then I never had kids before and then I got kids and I've got to figure out the thing. So Robin and I were pretty intentional about figuring out our roles and what we wanted to do and where our skills and giftedness was Wally. I got to admit something to you this is hilarious and it's along these lines, but I was embarrassed. You know, I've got, as you well know, a 21 year old granddaughter.

Speaker 2: 20:09

Robin was out of town recently Don't, don't send me hate mail when I tell what I'm about to tell these listeners but I called Abby and I said Abby, you know, nana's out of town, you know, with some girlfriends this weekend. She said yeah, and I said I didn't want to call Nana, so I thought I'd call you. I said I'm not sure exactly what to do. I'm about to cook some eggs, and do you spray something in the skillet first? And she said big guy, you're a sick individual. She goes you don't even know how to cook an egg. She goes yeah, here's what you do. And so she walked me through that and so I tell that as a funny story to say I just lost a little respect for you.

Speaker 1: 20:47

I'm not handy.

Speaker 2: 20:48

I'm not handy around the kitchen. Well, I had to call her back a second time the next day, though, because there's these little things that go in the dishwasher, and there's like three little helping yourself here at all.

Speaker 2: 20:59

I didn't know if you cut those things open and put it in that little compartment and Abby goes. Man, big A, I hope that you die before Nana. I said why she goes because you don't know how to do anything and I'm like okay, so my point being well made. Now Robin takes care of the house Okay, everything related to our house and I take care of all the business and I take care of the finances and I do those kind of things because she's good at it, I'm decent at the other, you know business and finances and so I take care of that.

Speaker 2: 21:28

So how does that yeah but we had to figure it out. We had to figure it out as we went.

Speaker 1: 21:31

Yeah, but how does that translate into like when you think about goals for you and your family?

Speaker 2: 21:36

I know, you know we've had a number of number of directly impacts it.

Speaker 2: 21:40

Yeah, and when you talk about goals for your family but because I wanted to do well at whatever we were doing, like Robin wanted to run a really tight ship. That was her goal. To have a really well maintained home. You know she keeps it picked up and takes care of all the washing and cleaning and the kitchen, like she finds like great value in that, and it was a goal for her to take care of her husband and I want today but Robin takes care of me better than I deserve Okay, the truth but that's her goal as a wife.

Speaker 2: 22:12

She really wants to serve me well. So that was her goal, you know, in our marriage and to take care of our children and take care of our home. And so my goal was because we were both broke or then a convict when we got married my goal was to make some money and have a successful company and so I spent a lot of time in that. So it directly aligns with you know the goals and how to you know take care. So I had to let some other things go and Robin had to let some other things go some social activities and things with girlfriends. She wanted to do a great job on those things and so it directly aligns with us being successful with her goals.

Speaker 1: 22:51

Yeah, I don't. I think being on the page, on the same page with Sonia, for me it's. It's been a bit of a struggle not not specifically around like. We've talked about roles and things before and we've struggled with that. Obviously, you and Robin nailed that right out of the gate, which is awesome. We struggled with that and still do a little bit today.

Speaker 1: 23:15

But when I think about goals because I'm a very organized person and so I love to plan I'm very intentional. Sonia is typically more kind of go with the flow. Things don't feel as urgent to her and I'm not saying they have to, I'm just saying that's how she is as a person. And so, yeah, it's caused some, some real challenges and conflict in our marriage. I actually hear about this quite often from other businessmen you know whether it's from podcast listeners or whether it's in the iron charpins, iron mastermind community. You know they're very purpose driven, very goal oriented, and their spouses are not, and it causes a lot of conflict and some of it extremely harmful to their marriage and their family if they don't approach it Well with some some accountability.

Speaker 2: 24:10

You're being pretty vulnerable and transparent here and I want to take kind of a opposite side of your comment just for a second. I Agree with you and it does. But Robin and I have talked about this very topic at length and when I said to her what you just said on this episode and she got mad, she got like really angry. When I said that, she said I'm just as goal-oriented Is you. It's just, it's not in the same thing.

Speaker 2: 24:38

Yeah and there's different things that I want to accomplish. But because I don't do it is aspirational, because I don't do it to the level that you do, because I don't focus on the task every day, that doesn't mean in my way that I'm not doing that. So we don't want to ever say to the audience I know you don't either, neither of us do that. We're not saying that if you're not this big Heidi personality, aspirational, goal getter, that you're not doing a good job. I think the important thing is is for us to figure that out in our marriages, to sit down and work through it with our spouse and say what is the common Goals? What? What are the common? Because I know like for me I don't even tell Robin a lot of the things that I'm aspirational about because I know it's not in her. But if it's for our family, it's for our grandkids or for our home, we're very aspirational about those things.

Speaker 2: 25:34

And so it took me a while to learn that, because Robin and I thought like cats and dogs for a long time, because I wanted her to be like me, mm-hmm, I wanted her to come my way and get on board with the way I was doing it, and that's not what God made her. God didn't make her that way and it's different. So, yeah, I just think that, and Robin's helped me kind of figure that out along the way and I've been more tolerant and accepting and understanding. It's taken 44 years, so I'll leave for me to get to a point to be able to kind of see her side of it. But that's just the uniqueness of her and how God designed her, and it took a lot of discussing, arguing To get there, though I had Sonya and I, you know, building the business over all those years.

Speaker 1: 26:20

I so badly wanted Sonya to be part of that. I so badly wanted her to be in the business doing something you know, find something that you're good at, and and Enjoyness and and let's do it together and climb that mountain. We're gonna have great conversations and we're gonna like plan the. You know we're gonna and reality was like that wasn't to your point of how God designed her. But, man, a number of years I struggled with that actually.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Yeah, she came on as our bookkeeper for two and a half years and I think I've mentioned this before, but I think she quit. We worked in the same office because we had a home office and she had a desk. I had a desk and and she must have quit 30 times and I finally fired her and I said, okay, you're done like you're done us last time. And man, I just God used that time in my life. This was about five years ago and I don't know if I heard it somewhere or what it was, but he just spoke it. The Holy Spirit spoke with me through reading, through reading scripture. Well, I don't know, but there was a pivotal moment where I got a word and the word was. The words were Stop trying to change your wife.

Speaker 1: 27:36

Yeah and start enjoying her. It's a good word and at that moment I was like boom. It was just like, okay, my perspective Needs to change here, you know, my mindset needs to change and I stopped. I still, over the years since then, like she's, she's done some, taking some. You know, it's funny how this happens. This happens with our kids, happens with our wives and it also happens with we're gonna talk about some professional business things in just a minute. We're gonna dive into that too. But Historically it happens with people. If we stop trying to change them and give them space and Support for them to figure out who God's created them to be, you know what's funny is is we married them because of who they are and then we spend the rest of their life trying to change them.

Speaker 2: 28:25

It's insanity and we just cannot Do that. Yeah, and we've got a, and I just want to talk to the listener for a second man. Think through it with your relationship with your spouse and really hear them first. They don't sit down there and try to make them change like I did over, you know, decades Just really at an early age kind of work through seeing where they're at, seeing how you can support them and see how they can take A portion of what you're doing and really excel. You take the other portion, I don't know. Sit down, talk through it. Just stop spending all your time Trying to change them.

Speaker 2: 29:01

You know, I think one of the good things that we can do, wally and we've done this in our marriage as well, and we've done this in businesses You've got to figure out, when you're prioritizing goals, what's urgent and what's important. Some things seem to be urgent, but they're really not. They may be important and there's a tool out there I think it's called the Eisenhower matrix that you can use. Yeah, and this can really help you identify which goals that need your immediate attention and which can be scheduled for later, and I think that's where we get a sense of overwhelm. Jeff, if you're listening to this today, I think that if you really do this exercise, it'll help you.

Speaker 1: 29:41

It's not giving up on your goal, it's just saying, hey, this is a great goal, but I'm gonna schedule it for later, right, it's not something that needs to take place Immediately well, even that, even scheduling later there's, if you look up the Eisenhower matrix, just go to Google, search for it and basically it comes out with like this creates like this four box quadrant, and across the top you've got urgent, not urgent. Then down the side, you've got important and not important. And so there's a box for, you know, urgent and important. There's a box for not urgent and important. There's a box for urgent and not important. There's a box for not urgent and not important. And so the idea there is, with the urgent and important, these are things with clear deadlines and consequences for not taking immediate action.

Speaker 1: 30:28

The things you're talking about with scheduling, it are not urgent but they are important. Those are activities with, without a set deadline, that bring you closer to your goals. They're those are also easy to procrastinate on. And then those things that are urgent and not important, those are things that need to get done, but they don't require necessarily your specific skills. A lot of those things are busy work and you can delegate that. And then there's also not urgent and not important which we just. Those are distractions that just make us feel worse. Get rid of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let those go.

Speaker 2: 30:57

Yeah, just delete them like get rid of them. Right right, I look at it up and use that and I think in business I mean I would caution.

Speaker 1: 31:05

Someone bringing this home to your spouse or even your kids and laying on a table and be like, from no one we're gonna use this as our decision-making matrix, like highly wouldn't suggest that it's not gonna work for most of us. But, as I think, in our families, like we can definitely think through this process as we're figuring out what's important for their families. But I think in business, and financially especially, this type of a tool super, super helpful and I love frameworks. I'm a framework guy all the way and here's why frameworks Allow us to have a common set of rules on how we're gonna play the game of business. Without them, everyone's coming up with their own definitions on the rules, and so if you and your business, if you have a business, if you and your business, if you don't have right now a set of Decision-making rules or matrix or framework for how you make a decision in your business, let me give you a great example.

Speaker 1: 32:09

We did this a few years ago when I came on to the view from the top. Iron sharpens, iron team. You're great at coming up with all kinds of wonderful ideas. Most of them are wonderful, but anyway, you're really good at that. You're great at that, and so it's a gift that God's given you, and we, even through the working genius, like we, looked at innovation as one of the things that you're really good at, and thinking about what's possible, and so, in doing that, though, there's many things that we could do. Well, how do you make that decision?

Speaker 1: 32:48

What type of a matrix or a decision-making tree? Maybe it's not the Eisenhower matrix, for necessarily just for, like you know, deciding where you're gonna put your time, but it could be this type of a matrix where what are those things in your business that are gonna help you decide what you're gonna do or not do? So that's just. We had to put that in place for us, and I've had that in other businesses as well, so I would really encourage everyone. When it comes to like goals and what's a competing goal, how are we gonna determine what we're gonna do and not do? The Eisenhower matrix, or something like that, is a great tool. It's a great framework to help us to be able to figure out if we should, shouldn't do it, and then is it a priority or isn't it?

Speaker 2: 33:33

You know, I'll tell you something else. It's really been beneficial for us, and we talked about it at the Entrepreneur's Center the other day, when we had this round table discussion, and I was surprised, wally, at how many people didn't really have written core values, and we've had an interesting conversation around that, because if we've got those core values, it can help you prioritize your goals, because then you're doing things that are important to you and for us. There's five core values, and we run everything that we do through that, and I gave some examples at the Entrepreneur's Center the other day about how we operate, and even gave some examples of some things that we'd done that didn't work well, and it was because it was in disalignment with our core values, and so I think a lot of this prioritization of your goals can resolve itself if you make the determination of like using that matrix and then deciding what your core values are, and then working your aspirations and your goals through that, and it just helps you eliminate, it just really organizes you better, right. It just gives you, as you said, this framework that we can do that. But you know, what a lot of people are doing, though, is that they're working through their long-term goals in a short-term fashion and you just can't do that. You just got to kind of balance those immediate needs with your long-term aspirations.

Speaker 2: 34:59

In most people's lives can be very challenging. When you're trying to do that, when you're new or you're young to your career, you'll find out that you have to make ends meet. I mean, that's your first priority. You're just like man I just got to make enough money to survive until you get enough momentum and traction that you can breathe for a minute, that you can exhale, that you can get this matrix that we're talking about. And if you find yourself in that season right now, just kind of pause and take a breath, because the harder you push until you have this matrix, a framework, your core values, you're going to just continue to dig a hole and it's going to be very confusing.

Speaker 2: 35:36

It's going to be something. You need a mentor, you need a coach, you need a peer advisory group, you need a mastermind group, you need unbiased, trusted advisors. You need people to say, hey, here's where I'm at right, right now, this is the spot I'm in and I've dug myself a hole and I need to figure out how to get out of it. And so, yeah, just take a breath. You're going to be okay. I promise you you're going to be okay. You're going to work through it. You've just got to have some people around you. That maybe can help you, give you a different perspective.

Speaker 1: 36:06

I think we can also develop a plan that has both long-term and short-term. I'm with you. I think we stress ourselves out, trying to do it all at the same time, and the reality is we don't have to do that. There's I was in software development for a long time, and so there's not to bore anybody with this but there's the waterfall method of development, which is like organize everything at one time and then work through every detail. The problem with that is that by the time you get to the end, 50,000 things have changed already, and so they went to an iterative process of software development, and that's moved over into a lot of how we do goal setting and planning today. And there's lots of whether it's a 12-week year, whether it's my business on purpose with Scott Bebe, whether it's EOS, the Entrepreneur Operating System with the Big Rocks. We've taken some version of those kind of, taken the best pieces of those, and we've created something called the Come as you Will Be, and what we do is we set a three-year vision. So right now we're working on 2026. We just finished up Come as you Will Be 2023. We had pretty awesome three-year run and now we're looking at what does 2026 and 2026 look like for us as business and as individuals. And so when we start kind of writing out those aspirational things of, we write them out, come as you Will Be, in a sense of like not just what we want, but we write them out in terms of they've already happened. And so, as we do that, now we've got a three-year vision.

Speaker 1: 37:42

Well, you might break that down to annual goals. You can break that down into, like, what are we gonna do in 2024? That's most important in 2024 to us, related to those goals. And then we actually take that a step further and we start breaking it down. That's the iterative part of it. We break the iterative parts.

Speaker 1: 38:00

We break that down into quarterly big rocks, we call them. We're kind of borrowing from EOS and some other folks, and so we look at what's the one to three things. We look at the five, those five areas that you talked about personal wellbeing, our spiritual lives, our family, our businesses, our finances. Each of those areas we may not have something that we're really pushing into on our finances in Q1. Maybe there's three other areas we're really pushing into that and then maybe that changes for Q2. We lean more into a financial goal. So we identify just two to three big rocks, things that are no fails, that we've gotta put effort into, intentional effort into in the quarter.

Speaker 1: 38:48

And then we go out. We write out not just the goal, but we write out why it's important, why is that goal important? And then we write out, okay, what potentially is gonna stop us from reaching that goal? And then we finish up each goal with where do I need help?

Speaker 1: 39:06

And so that process has been phenomenal in helping us make that steady progress both toward long-term and short-term goals, and it's been fun because you're able to bring others around you in your business. It doesn't matter if they're a partner and they have an equity position, or if they're an engineer, they're a sales person, they're working as an operations, they're answering the phones, it doesn't matter. You're able to get this vision and get these short and long-term goals established and be able to share them in your business as well, as it's something easy to get your spouse and your family involved in as well that you're able to say, hey, here's the five areas that matter, and I've been thinking about some goals as a family, as everyone. What do you think? And maybe somebody gives, maybe kids or teenagers or something, or you hit that 10, 11, 12 and you can start involving them in what you're doing as a family, whether it's your wife, whether it's vacation, or whether it's how you're ministering or how you're paying attention to each other as a family, how you're growing.

Speaker 1: 40:21

And I think there's a guy that I know he's got a core value talked about that earlier that part of his goal setting, short and long-term, is around one of his values and it's about table time. So, like they, it's part of his mission as a family. That around the table is how they connect. So, whether that's eating, playing games, inviting other people to the table, right To participate in their relationships. That way it's a really cool like mental picture, but it also gives you the framework right To be able to plug things into and to measure your progress by and to help prioritize.

Speaker 2: 41:01

Well, when I was talking to Jeff, I could see the level of stress that he was dealing with with this conflict and even said to him at one time, like, what are you doing? He said, man, I'm paralyzed. He said the stress is so great I'm not even sure which way to go. And so we started talking about some of the options that he might have and it's no differently than Robin and I've dealt with in our marriage is that there's trade-offs. I mean, you've got to recognize the trade-offs between conflicting goals right out of the gate. You're like, hey, you can't have everything. I know when Robin and I are very aspirational in something we want to do here, I'm like, hey, we can do this one or we can do this one, but we can't do both. Now, which one? She goes, I want to do both. And I'm like, I know you want to do both, but we're not doing both. We're not doing them right now. And like, which one do you really want to do? And so we kind of weigh it out. We're like, well, we could do this and this and this would be the outcome, or we could do this. And I think we've got to do that.

Speaker 2: 41:58

In everything there's always a trade-off, because you got to make some conscious decision about what you're willing to sacrifice, because there's going to be some sense of sacrifice in everything that you do. Now there may be some non-negotiables. You're maybe like, hey, we've got to do this. Okay, well, the decision's been made for you. If that's a non-negotiable, then maybe this is it, but if it isn't, maybe each of you give a little bit. Right, we can't be selfish. It can't be all about us. You've got to say, hey, this is non-negotiable for our family, but for me personally, I can give here, you can give there, and this is a place that we can meet in the middle. You know what it comes down to.

Speaker 2: 42:35

While at communication, we've got to have great communication, even in business, with our team leads, with our peers, our colleagues, our family members, our children. It just takes a lot of communication, open communication, with no hidden agendas, no underlying motives. We've got to be above board with that and just really talk through what it is that you're trying to accomplish as a family. It's really good. You know, wally, there's only so much time that any of us has got, there's only so much energy, there's only so many resources that we have out there, and we all get tired, right, I get tired at times because there's so many things that I'm trying to do as well. You have to take a breath sometimes, and this is one of the reasons that we really encourage our team. We really encourage the people that are in ISI.

Speaker 2: 43:26

Mastermind Even you and I is to take a Sabbath. Right, we need to rest a little bit. You think that you can accomplish everything you want to do. You've got that one more day. It's like man. You can do so much more if you'll rest and rejuvenate, come back strong next week. You're focused, you can do those things.

Speaker 2: 43:43

So there's all kind of resources out there. There's all kind of folks that can help you get out of this quagmire that you're in, and you've just got to figure out a way that you can accomplish the goals and the dreams that you want to and not sacrifice your family as a result of it. And so, when we were thinking about competing goals, it doesn't go away, and that's the reason that we wanted to talk about it today. There's not a place and time that you just get to a place where you're solid. It's something that you're going to be dealing with ongoing, and even my peers and colleagues now that are my age and older. I see them experiencing the same thing. So the faster we can get better at it, the more angst we're going to take out of our lives.

Speaker 2: 44:26

And so, man, as we finish up today, first of all I want to thank Jeff Miller for his question. Jeff, thank you so much. This was such a great question today on competing goals. You know, there's so many strategies that we need today for the demands that we have to navigate all of life's challenges. And, in Jeff's situation, juggling the role as a husband, you know, as a father, as a businessman, really mirrors the dilemmas that are faced by each of us.

Speaker 2: 44:55

Listening to this episode today and I want to take the opportunity for you to think through what it is that you're being confronted with right now, and the challenge lies not only in acknowledging the multitudes of goals that each of us have, but it's also in skillfully navigating them without losing sight of what's truly important. Man, that is always. Our desire here, at View from the Top, is for you to not lose sight. We want you to accomplish those goals and those dreams that you have, but I hope that today's episode has created within you kind of a desire not to abandon your goals, but to think logically how you can decide between those long and those short-term goals and how to prioritize each one. And as always, hey, we want you to master this technique like you've never done before, so that you too can have that much sought after view from the top.

Speaker 1: 45:53

Hey, as we close out the episode today, just like Big A was talking about, you know, we've only got so much time, so much energy and so many resources, and the book the one thing talks about using the question of what's the next best step, what is that one thing that's going to help us get and make everything else easier. And so when you're thinking about that for yourself, maybe you've never done any real goal setting or planning and maybe you don't have a framework that you've really invested time to figure out I would encourage you to go to viewfromthetopcom slash whatdoiwant and that will actually help you understand, help you figure out what is most important to you, so you can figure out what it is that you want and able to start looking at your core values and processing through being able to get your goals in a way that's not that aren't in conflict with each other, and help you really get where you want to go. So that's viewfromthetopcom slash whatdoiwant. That's it for this week. We will see you next time.