Have you ever thought about the difference between joy and happiness?
Well, we have and what we've come to know is there is a profound difference and in this episode we reveal what that difference is.
We invite you to join us as we unpack this intriguing topic and share personal insights on the differences between joy and happiness and how you can use this new understanding to improve your quality of life starting today!
Come learn how to uncover your soul's fuel and tap into the passions, interests and experiences that will light you up and help you rediscover the feeling of being and living in the moment, just as you did as a child.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
You can also send us a DM and follow us on Instagram @the.lovementors or reach out in our Facebook Group - Manifesting Love in Midlife. We can also be found on YouTube - @JoeandNat.
We always love to hear from you! Be Blessed!
Have you ever thought about the difference between joy and happiness?
Well, we have and what we've come to know is there is a profound difference and in this episode we reveal what that difference is.
We invite you to join us as we unpack this intriguing topic and share personal insights on the differences between joy and happiness and how you can use this new understanding to improve your quality of life starting today!
Come learn how to uncover your soul's fuel and tap into the passions, interests and experiences that will light you up and help you rediscover the feeling of being and living in the moment, just as you did as a child.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
You can also send us a DM and follow us on Instagram @the.lovementors or reach out in our Facebook Group - Manifesting Love in Midlife. We can also be found on YouTube - @JoeandNat.
We always love to hear from you! Be Blessed!
This is Joe.
Speaker 2:And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.
Speaker 1:And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.
Speaker 2:So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet. Hello everyone, it's Joe and it's Nat, and welcome back to another episode of Getting Better With Age. This has been a good week. Well, actually, no, it hasn't. I've been sick this week Harvest, sinus infection, anyway, whatever, I'm getting better now.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think you were sick, I think you weren't feeling well. Your body was healthy and healing and do what it was divinely created to do. Yes, it is.
Speaker 2:That is true, Anyway. So last week at the end of our episode, we talked about how we need to have more fun on this podcast Party. Well, here's the thing A lot of the topics that we discuss are kind of heavy and deep, but important. They're important conversations to have for what we want to accomplish with this podcast, but there's also a lot of joy to be had, and midlife is an amazing time and we can really do great things and we can spread more joy and happiness, and that's what we want to do.
Speaker 1:And I think that's so important because you just want to use the darkness to get back to the light. So, as you're saying, there are some heavy topics, things that you kind of have to discuss, that you have to review and embrace, to learn how to get better and to overcome the challenges, the crap that life will throw at you. But it's not a matter of living there and focusing on it and we don't want to be like, okay, every week we're going to talk about the crap and the darkness and the challenges, and so, as you said, let's talk about something that's really much better and more enjoyable and there's just a much better energy to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and our hope is that in previous episodes, you've taken what we've shared and used it in your life to create more happiness and just to be in a better place, which is always a good thing.
Speaker 1:And because, no matter who you are, life is going to throw stuff at you, but it's how you deal with the stuff, how you embrace it, how you overcome it and how you use it that ultimately determines if you're going to get better and your life is going to become more enjoyable or you're just going to get caught in the negativity and that downward spiral that a lot of people get caught up.
Speaker 1:I was reading something earlier today and it talked about the big squeeze and I thought it was really fascinating. If you really think about it, if you're at that midlife part of the journey, like we are, you're really getting it from both sides right when you got your issues going on, with your parents who are getting older, whoever, health challenges that are putting responsibilities onto you, making demands not making demands, but things that, because you love them, you wanna be there to support them, guide them, but it's adding a lot more to your shoulders. And then, for a lot of individuals who are in midlife, they're kids we have kids older and also because of the economy and student loans, of it, that a lot of kids are hanging around longer in their parents' homes. But that's okay, I'd like that. Yeah, I know you like that.
Speaker 2:That brings me joy.
Speaker 1:But the reality is so parents, in addition to dealing with their own stuff, now have to take care of their parents' stuff and also still dealing with their children. It's not bad, it's just the reality of how it is.
Speaker 2:They actually call it the sandwich generation.
Speaker 1:Oh, really? Well, not in the article I read today, it was called the big squeeze.
Speaker 2:The big squeeze, two different options, while you're squeezing between the bread.
Speaker 1:That's a sandwich, you know, squeeze.
Speaker 2:Anyway. So the point is let's talk about fun, happiness, joy.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think that's great, because the first thing we need to do is really differentiate between joy and happiness, cause again, those are two terms that we throw around interchangeably and they're really two different things.
Speaker 2:They are. And for me, and I truly believe that happiness is kind of more fleeting, it's in the moment, it's your outward actions, but joy is in the heart and in the soul, like you feel it in your body. It's something you feel all the time when happiness is just like and in the moment you're doing something fun, it's making you happy, you see a funny movie, you're laughing. So for me, that's what I think it is, no.
Speaker 1:I agree 100% and I think to differentiate and you can use like energetically right, you'll feel happiness in your mind and your ego. It will be temporary. Tony Robbins talk when he talks about the six human needs, talks about temporary happiness right Versus long-term fulfillment, and I think that's the difference is, joy is really in your heart, it's in your soul, it fills you up on the inside and it lasts. And so I think it's really important because we interchange the two and really don't understand. So before we do anything, we need to understand that there is a big difference between joy and happiness. So happiness is in your mind and it's temporary. Joy is in your heart, it's in your soul and it's more long-lasting, it's more fulfilling.
Speaker 2:But they're both really good things. Yeah, they're both things that you want in your life.
Speaker 1:So let's apply it to our life, or to your life, like what brings you joy.
Speaker 2:Oh, what brings me joy is being with my boys, spending time with my boys. And well, yes, that includes you too.
Speaker 1:I'm just my teenage boys. I didn't say anything. Why are you feeling guilty there?
Speaker 2:I have four boys in the house.
Speaker 1:I'm a man, not a boy.
Speaker 2:Just, you know, because the other day we were, everybody was off of work. You know, my two older ones, they were home and my little guy was home, he was an hour-dress friend and you know it was a beautiful night and we barbecued and we just sat around the table outside and just talked and laughed and we were present and telling funny stories and making each other laugh and like that brought me so much joy, like I felt it in my heart and in my soul, like it was. That's to me what it's all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and I agree, and I think you know both of us too, and we've already put it out there. That family is like right up there with us, like you know growing up, you know Italian and being indoctrinated, and you know big families and just lots of wonderful memories and the importance of being in and having that family environment was crucial to who we are and also- To grow part of who we are today.
Speaker 1:Right, and that joy, I think, for both of us. You know our most cherished memories are holidays, when we're little, birthday parties, family events, whatever it may be, where we were spending time with our family.
Speaker 2:Right, and in that time that we were sitting outside and being present with each other, there was lots of happiness too, because we were talking and we were telling jokes and telling funny stories, like I said before and busting on each other, and that's that makes me happy too. But the whole thing, the whole experience was joyful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that it's the happiness can lead you to joy Absolutely and that can be an integral part of finding joy is doing things that make you happy, but understanding that the happiness is simply a vehicle to lead you to the joy and that joy is just, it's just more, it's deeper, it's richer, it's more fulfilling and, from the work that I do, it's really studying energetically that it really is coming from your heart and your soul. It's like touching your soul and I'm sure if you're listening to this, you've had experiences in your life where it's you did something and it just touched your soul and it brought you. It could sometimes even move you to tears, like I find that. I know I put off this image as real tough guy, but you know I'm a big softy and there are things that.
Speaker 2:How did I do? Yeah, just be of that image, I mean.
Speaker 1:And there are things that just touch my soul and just bring me so much joy and like I can remember, like I can be at a baseball game, you know, with our boys and just be in that environment and just have memories of my childhood and being with my dad and going to games and it just, it just touches my heart. Or you know, being we went to a concert recently and just being there, because that's something that brings me joy, just being there and being moved by the music and listening, you know, to bands that I enjoy and that move my soul because I love music.
Speaker 2:And singing and dancing. For me, that made me happy.
Speaker 1:I'm not the dancer. I'm definitely not the dancer. Like I'm, sit there, I'll take it all in. It'll move, my, but you're very rarely. Unless it's a Jimmy Buffett show, I'm very rarely up there dancing and I admire those people Kind of move a little on the seat.
Speaker 2:You know I'll catch them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's about it.
Speaker 2:Me. I'm waving my hands up.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of like that chipmunk and caddy shack.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, remember that. No, it was the groundhog.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, Groundhog chipmunk whatever the hell he was. Yeah, so that's definitely me. But you know, and that's what we want to share with you today is really what brings you joy, because it's so easy if you're in this sandwich generation or you know the Italian say the sandwich the sandwich generation, or you know, if you're in the big squeeze currently and you're getting it from you know your parents, your kids, and then you've got your own challenges.
Speaker 1:it's really hard sometimes in this world today to find joy and to feel joy, but what I believe to be true is that if you put your focus and energy on finding joy and you get off, you know practice, the law of Goya G-O-Y-A, which is, get off your ass and you get off your ass and go start doing things to find joy, you will find it.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that's kind of what we want to talk about today. So what are three things that you can do to get joy back into your life quickly?
Speaker 2:Okay, this is one that I do often and Joe can attest to that, he'll tell you is embrace your inner child, act like a kid. Like what? Like lights you up. I'd like when you were a kid you got that feeling where you were just so happy and excited, like, what does that for you?
Speaker 1:Right, and I think you know for those of you there might be some of you who are like real serious out there and it's like, well, I can't do that, that's immature and it's like. You know, that doesn't reason why you need to do it. It's not to be immature, okay, it's to become like a child. I think one of the reasons why it's easy for children is children just don't have all the shit that we have as adults. Oh God Right, they don't overthink, they don't overanalyze, they don't question us. Like you know, I want to go do that, I'm going to go do it and there's nothing else more to it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go stop in the stop in the puddle, stomp in the puddle in the rain, jump in the mud and you know like it, and they don't even think twice about it, just fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's all it is. It's like they are so in the moment, so present, and it's like this makes me happy, this moves my soul. So I'm going to do it, you know, but as we get it up, well, you can't do that and well, if you do that, you're going to get sick and don't put your fingers in your mouth, because you're going to get. You know, whatever it is, what was that thrush? What the kids have when they were little.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1:That thrush or whatever it was, and right, it's like the germs and all this virus, like we just indoctrinate our kids with all this shit, all our fear, and it takes away their joy and it causes them to become neurotic as well, and and that's really it's. It's sad and what we don't want to do. And I think it's also important to be the example for our children and I love that you're able to do that because you know, I also see a young kid. He gets on like, he gets into that child like, and he's also still 15, but he's just wants to be himself and Just is expressing his true nature. It's what his soul Wants to be who he wants to be.
Speaker 2:Now Joe could get a little bitter at embracing his inner child, I have to say, but he's getting there.
Speaker 1:I can, I can absolutely 100 percent own that and there are moments where I will and I do, but it's not as easy for me, right, as it is for you, and I'll take complete ownership and I think for a lot of guys if you're a male listening to this, it's you know, it's that indoctrination. We need to be a certain way and we need to be serious and we need to, and that's part of this, because when we do embrace that inner child right and we become childlike, like it's, like you say, so much fun, like you just feel so Light, right, you know you don't feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Speaker 2:You just kind of feel like you want to float.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think that's the key is being able to understand that there's a time to be childlike, oh, absolutely. And there's a time where you've got to be a big boy, you've got to be an adult.
Speaker 1:Right, you're a big boy or a big girl so it's about understanding when it's OK to be like a child yeah, you know and have that innocence, that joy. And then there's a time to you know what. I got to put that on the back burner right now because I got to take care of the mom, I got to take care of the kids, I got to take care of whatever it may be. So, all right, that's the first one embracing your inner child. So you get an A for that. I get it probably like a C minus. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:Maybe lower.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, I give you C minus.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:Maybe a few years ago you would have been maybe a D, but you've gone up.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's progress and that's all that matters Moving up. I'm getting better with age.
Speaker 2:That is right, ok. So the other thing is and I love this find your fuel for your soul. What ignite you right? Hobbies, passions, interests, adventures, experiences like what are those things that again ignite your soul Right?
Speaker 1:So, if you think of it literally like a gas tank, like there's a joy gas tank, right, what's the fuel you're going to put in there that's going to allow you to get to joy? Right, because that's the destination. So you know, these are some things we discussed, like what are hobbies? What are things that you do that move your soul, that move your soul or what's something that you've wanted to do? But because you're taking care of your parents, you're taking care of your kids, you're taking care of your responsibilities and you're putting everybody and everything first that you're not doing for yourself to bring you joy. What are the things that you're really passionate about? Like I expressed, I love music. We're going on vacation next week and I'm just like how am I going to listen to music?
Speaker 2:On the beach Because he has a speaker like his wireless, whatever Bluetooth speaker that he brings, but we can't bring it because it's kind of big. Yeah, it's kind of big, Can't fit in the suitcase, right. So he's like what am I going to do? I'm like, all right, well, we'll go to five below. I'm sure they'll have one there.
Speaker 1:So, like you know, we're making plans. She's learning about cars and trips and restaurants and I'm like I'm doing all the car rental, airport parking how?
Speaker 1:am I going to listen to my music, like I need my music. So, again, what is something that you're passionate about? Is it music? Is it painting? Is it gardening? Like it doesn't make a where do you feel free? What? What light you up? You know, what are some interests that you have. Again, what's something that you haven't done but you'd love to do? You know, I love learning, I love finding truths and understanding how this thing calls life. Right now, I'm learning a lot about alternate universe and astral travel and the soul, and it's like wow, like this, this stuff is so interesting and it just so resonates with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we actually have a friend of ours a little older than us and she recently took an art class, right, remember, she was telling us because she's always wanted to take an art class and she's always wanted to paint and she found this one and she was so happy talking about it. She was showing us we do she lives in another state and we do zooms once a week and she was holding up her paintings to us and the big smile on her face, like you could tell that it made her so happy and she was just excited. She's like a little kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So again, what interests you, you know? And another one is adventures. Like you talk about being a child, like what are some adventures that you can go on, like is it a trip, is it a hike, is it a bike ride, you know, is it going canoeing? Like what's something that you can do? That is literally like an adventure, like, hey, we're going on an adventure and look at it like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there are things that I mean they don't always have to be like, you know, expensive things or anything that you don't have to spend money on Like in the Grand Canyon. Exactly Like you and Robbie that this was years ago you did the bike ride right Over the George Washington Bridge Like that was amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was great. We went all the way down over the George Washington Bridge along the Hudson River, then we went over the Brooklyn Bridge, you know, and again, an adventure could be anything that's fun, anything that's exciting, that literally moves your soul, and if you do it with somebody else, and that just makes it that much better, you know what Go to the park that's what I love to do when I'm in a park is swing on the swing Like yeah, that is happening for me.
Speaker 2:All right, right, but anybody listening tell me that when you see a swing, you don't gravitate towards it and you want to sit in that seat and kick your legs and swing up and down. Tell me you didn't, or that you don't. Come on right. Well, not you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that ain't having it yes, just for the sake of this conversation, say yes, not. I love swings. No, but there.
Speaker 2:I'm sure everybody can resonate with me. Many people listen.
Speaker 1:Yes, no one talking about many, not everyone, okay, all right. And that leads us to the last one. You know, is, what fuels your soul is experiences Like. What's an experience that will move your soul, that will fuel your soul, that will give you more joy? That's the beautiful part is you get to decide. You might sit there and go. You know, I hate music, I hate swings. That's cool, do what works for you. But you've got to go and take action. You've got to go find the things that will light you up, that will move your soul, and when you do, you're just going to feel so much better and a lot of those burdens, a lot of the responsibilities, they're going to diminish, not that they're not going to be there, but they're not going to be so burdensome because now you're doing things which light you up.
Speaker 2:Yeah. All right All right and this one is key because it can help you with all the other things too is connecting with like-minded people, finding the people who think like you, who want to like experiences that you like. You know you just have that those things in common. You know, maybe they like to swing on the swings too, and they'll go with you to the park and swing on the swings, you know.
Speaker 1:And seriously.
Speaker 2:It's like you know when you have that person or people in your life that you could do those things with and you could share those experiences with. You know whether it's a you know a relationship, partner or husband, but also friends, colleagues, like just find the, find your tribe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it doesn't even have to be a tribe, it could be one or two people. No, I think that's true Because and it doesn't have to be an adventure Like you know, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine you know my big baseball fan, this is my best friend and we're talking about the trade deadline going on, and we were just talking, having a conversation, laughing, busting, and just that connection that we've had now for 40 years is just. It just fuels my soul and we're going to go out to dinner this week, you know, as husband and wife with their-.
Speaker 2:Another cup with the other cup? Yeah, natalie, and.
Speaker 1:I going out as husband and wife, as opposed to what we normally are.
Speaker 2:We are going out to dinner with our friends with another couple.
Speaker 1:My friend and his wife, which we're talking about that was a brain fart. Yeah, so that was definitely some brain fatchments. But again, connecting with like-minded individuals, where those individuals you can just sit around a dinner table and just laugh and talk and joke and communicate and just really, really connect. I think, at the end of the day, experiences are wonderful, but if we don't have people that we love, to share them with, they're not as rewarding.
Speaker 1:So there's definitely things you need to do that will light you up on your own, but there's things you can do with your partner, with your friends, colleagues or new individuals that you meet along the journey, where it's like you know what being around you brings me joy, and I think that's ultimately what it's all about. Absolutely so.
Speaker 2:Anything else before we wrap it up, no, just you know, don't be afraid to try new things. A lot of it is getting out of your comfort zone too and then doing stuff that you're like, oh, I don't know if I could do that right, but it also could be things that are simple, things that just make you happy.
Speaker 1:And I think the key is you know yourself right. So you know if, hey, I've been playing small, I haven't been doing anything, I've got to really get out of my comfort zone, or it's like you know what, I just lost focus on me, I stopped doing things that bring me joy. So I'm going to start doing things and just you know, here's going to be your homework for the week Action, step, action, step. Every day, every day, do one thing that brings you joy. It could be just taking time to sit outside in nature.
Speaker 2:Look, at the sunshine, be grateful.
Speaker 1:It could be calling up a friend, sending an email, sending a funny text, whatever, whatever again lights you up, brings you joy. Just do it once every day and then at the end of the next week, look and see how it was.
Speaker 2:You know that group text you have with your family, with your kids, and you get those stupid memes all the time and you laugh about them. And then when you're sitting together in dinner, that's what you laugh about.
Speaker 1:Again, whatever lights you up, whatever moves your soul, whatever brings you joy in your heart, just do it and you'll see, this time next week, energetically, you're going to feel better, you're going to be in a better place.
Speaker 2:And just remember that's what life is all about Just finding joy and peace in your life and getting rid of all that other stuff that's holding you down and bringing you down.
Speaker 1:And that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, anything else?
Speaker 2:No, this is good. See, this was a good one. That's it, we're happy.
Speaker 1:We're happy, except for my brain flashes, but that's cool, all right. Everyone we love and appreciate it. Have a great week.
Speaker 2:We'll see you next week. Bye.