Lessons from Midlife: An Opportunity To Improve Your Health and Well Being

Join us on a personal journey, as we recount the recent, unexpected health traumas of Nat's father and his subsequent move to a rehab center. A harsh real-life reminder that midlife can bring challenges, but it also brings opportunities for personal growth. 

We'll also be sharing our story of Joe's  88-year-old stepdad, who, thanks to a lifetime of wise self-care, is living his best life and running circles around people half his age.

Join us as we explore how we can all learn to empower ourselves and turn the common  challenges that most of us experience in midlife  into a springboard for a healthier and happier future.

Transitioning from personal stories to a broader health context, we look at the Italian population’s intriguing health despite a carb-rich diet, and why their lifestyle contrasts starkly with the unending hustle often seen in America. 

We discuss how food can be a tool for sustaining a healthy life, highlight the crucial role of rest, and talk about the damaging effects of stress on our health. 

This episode concludes with an emphasis on how our choices shape our health, relationships, financial well-being and overall satisfaction in life. Tune in to gain valuable insights on how small shifts in your lifestyle can notably enhance your overall well-being.

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Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.

You can also send us a DM and follow us on Instagram @the.lovementors or reach out in our Facebook Group - Manifesting Love in Midlife. We can also be found on YouTube - @JoeandNat.

We always love to hear from you! Be Blessed!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

This is Joe.

Speaker 2: 0:03

And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.

Speaker 1: 0:15

And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.

Speaker 2: 0:26

So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet. Hello everyone, it's Joe and it's Nat. Welcome back to Getting Better With Age. I feel like we've been gone for a really long time. We are really coming back.

Speaker 1: 0:47

Seems like that definitely.

Speaker 2: 0:48

We've been gone for two weeks for lots of reasons. We took a vacation with our family. We just wanted to get away, shut off and yeah all that good stuff. Right.

Speaker 1: 1:05

Celebrate our son, who's starting college in 10 days.

Speaker 2: 1:09

Yeah, our second one Starting college. So that was anyway. That was the reason for week one, we go on here.

Speaker 1: 1:16

We planned on being here week two but, as you know, sometimes, god, the universe, has different plans.

Speaker 2: 1:21

Life gets in the way.

Speaker 1: 1:23

That kind of led to today's podcast, so we'll just give everybody to fill into what happened.

Speaker 2: 1:29

So actually on our last podcast we did mention this, because everybody knows the story of when Joe's mom fell at graduation and then a month later my dad fell, which we talked about again on our last yeah. Anyway. So he fell, he was doing okay, he seemed to be getting better, and then he fell a few more times and then, when we were on vacation, he started getting really, really bad pain and he kept falling again. And we get home from vacation and he has to have a partial hip replacement.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Well, we didn't know that. He went in for x-rays and literally they rushed him to the ER and then next thing you know we're having surgery.

Speaker 2: 2:13

Yeah, that was the day after we came back.

Speaker 1: 2:16

Like well, welcome back to enjoy your vacation. Well, guess what? You're back in the real world now.

Speaker 2: 2:22

Yes, so that's why we were away for two weeks and that is exactly what precipitated this podcast, because after his hip replacement, you know he's 83 years old, so we had to go into like a rehab center subacute facility.

Speaker 1: 2:36

And I pray everybody here, everybody's parents, family members and for yourself, that you never have to go into a rehab center.

Speaker 2: 2:45

Yes, and that's the point of this conversation. So, anyway, so I went to see him on Sunday you know I'd been going every day and then on Sunday I went and I took my middle guy, robbie, came with me and after the surgery, my once, when he moved to the subacute he got very like disoriented and he was saying like crazy things. He was hallucinating and my mind went to immediately to, oh my God, dementia, because we dealt with that with my mom. So I was like, oh my God. So I was.

Speaker 2: 3:19

After we left him, I was driving home and I said listen, robbie. I said and I started crying because I said I don't want to ever have to put you guys in that position where you have to see me like that or have to take care of me or anything. And Robbie said he goes well, it wouldn't be your fault, you know, if I got sick or something. I said, yes, it would. I said because that would mean that I wasn't taking care of myself and doing the best thing for me to make sure that I live my best life and be in optimal health, and so that doesn't happen when I'm older Right, and for those of you who are watching, who are in midlife as well, we're all at that I call the crossroads in our life.

Speaker 1: 4:05

Like we can go and get healthier, which is really why we created this podcast in the first place, or we can continue to deteriorate, degenerate, get old, get decrepit and go well. That's just the way it is. And, anyway, the irony of this is, as Natalie is dealing with her dad in rehab, sunday we went to celebrate my stepdad's 88th birthday. Now my stepdad, he can still swim for like 45 minutes.

Speaker 1: 4:33

My God he still walks every day, like he's probably in the best shape of everybody in the family. My brother and I went for a walk. My brother-in-law is going to be 60. And he's hobbling because he's got bad knees and we're like too old man.

Speaker 1: 4:46

They were something really wrong here, because the guy who's 88, is in better shape than both of us. But the reason why is he's always taken really good care of himself and I remember when my mom married him I was calculating it he was actually 54 when they got married, so about the same age. And then he would go out jogging every night. He always ate well and it just really is the epitome of what a healthy person should be like in midlife or getting older. And he's the example that it could be possible. And it's not like he doesn't live at a gym, he doesn't, just, you know, he's not vegan, he's not vegetarian, he eats meat, he loves his lamb, but he just does things smart and does them in a healthy way.

Speaker 2: 5:33

Yeah, and he likes his sweets, you know, and he does, he does it in moderation and it's just amazing, so he doesn't. It's not like he's. He never has given up anything or never has sacrificed anything for his health. He just always did what was good for him and what felt right for him.

Speaker 1: 5:50

And he does it in moderation. Like it amazes me. He'll take, like you know, a clondite bar out of the freezer and he'll just like eat half of it and he'll be perfectly okay with it. And that's not easy. Like how many of us go eat the whole clondite bar go? Oh, that was really good.

Speaker 2: 6:07

I want another one.

Speaker 1: 6:09

That leads to the problems and that's why he's in such great shape and he looks amazing, for, like anybody I ever meet look at my son's games or anything like this is my stepdad and, like you, know how old is he? I'm like you know he's gonna be 88.

Speaker 2: 6:23

You'd never think.

Speaker 1: 6:23

And people just like he's gonna be 88. He absolutely looks amazing and that's why we're doing this is because it didn't just happen. He didn't have great genes, he didn't luck out, he created his health and so we're at. If you're listening to this, odds are you are at that crossroads in your life and you've either started to go down that road where you know the extra pounds are coming on, you don't feel as good as you should be, you don't look as good as you want to be, and now you're just like, okay, and this is the wake up call.

Speaker 2: 6:57

Yeah, and it was a big wake up call for me that night in the car with Robbie, because it's like I do not, you know, especially seeing my mother, you know, deteriorate from dementia and now with my father, I mean, thank goodness he's doing well and he's going to be fine, the hallucinations went away and everything.

Speaker 2: 7:17

But he really has to prioritize his health and be stronger and get, you know, start exercising more, because otherwise he's just gonna keep falling again and we're going to have the same problem. And you know, when we get to this age and I hear people say it and I do too, you know you get out of bed and you like limp to the bathroom and everything hurts and and that's true and that happens, but that doesn't mean you have to live with it and that doesn't mean you have to accept it. And there are so many things you can do, you know, to word off all those bad things that can happen and those unhealthy things that that can happen. And here, listen, we're not experts in this field, we're not nutritionists, we're not, you know, personal trainers. We're like, we're not doctors, nothing. But we just know how we feel and what we want to do and need to do to change the way we feel if we're not feeling good you know there's so many good points.

Speaker 1: 8:17

You just hit there Because, like you, are in control of your health, of your life. You know you said something that this is very common at this age. You know one of my favorite expressions it may be common, but it's not normal. We weren't created To live this way. You know, we went back to Italy. You know many years ago, oh yeah and it just amazes me how you know how healthy the Italian Population generally is.

Speaker 1: 8:43

They don't have the obesity epidemic lot of Europe that we hear and they eat carbs and they eat their pasta and they eat their pizza, but their lifestyle is very, very different than we have here. It's like they live to eat and here people eat to live, but like their life is about Experiencing life and enjoying things. We're here, we get so stressed out and we eat food for pleasure and and enjoyment or to de-stress or whatever it may be, and we use food as a very unhealthy vehicle. So it may be very common, like even our oldest son. You know, when we got back we were on grocery shopping and came back from big cases, like that's it. You know, I'm back to eating well and everything. So last night we were shopping, was buying all this healthy stuff and I'm like, okay, I got to ask what happened. You know why, all of a sudden, you know the change in your diet habits and he literally says he goes up.

Speaker 1: 9:42

I got tired of feeling like crap and I'm like, yeah, well, that's what happens when you eat McDonald's and you eat Burger King and you eat, you know, wendy's and all these fast food places, yeah, is that you putting that crap into your body and it's going to affect? I always say it's like putting Kool-Aid in your gas tank. You know your car isn't run, isn't well designed or isn't designed to run on Kool-Aid, and and putting Kool-Aid in your good, in your gas tank, isn't the smartest thing. And the same thing with the food that we put in our body. You know, my brother love we were having a conversation many years ago because it's real simple food is fuel, like that's all it is, and your body is designed to run on certain fuel.

Speaker 1: 10:19

And when you put good fuel in your in your body, your body's gonna run really well. And that's one thing my step that does is he eats very well and, like you said, he'll have his little snack every now and then where he says his coffee and he goes at the end coffee and something sweet, but it's literally a cookie, a small piece of cake, a Small cup of ice cream, like it literally is in moderation, and he does it pretty much every day.

Speaker 1: 10:45

But he does all these other things to counterbalance that and for him that's normal and that's why he leads to the reason. That's why he gets the results that he gets. That's what he's experiencing in his life.

Speaker 2: 10:58

Yeah, I want to get back to a point. He kind of Changed subject a little bit, but I want to get. I want to get back to something because when Joe was talking about you know being in Italy and a large part of Europe, you know France, italy, spain, like in the middle of the day they'll just like shut down, right, stores close, people stop working for like two hours and they just they rest, they eat, they, whatever they do. But in this country that doesn't happen. How many people don't even take lunch? They go, go, go, go, go go and you never stop. And that is a big stressor in life, right, and in these European countries they know that they need to just calm down and they need to just let's take a break for two hours in the day. You know when things still get done. You know the economy's still going. You know what I mean. So you don't have to, because stress is a big part of what goes on with you. It's the American lifestyle.

Speaker 1: 11:58

I mean, let's be honest and there's nothing. We all are responsible for the quality of our health, the quality of life, and if living a stress, a stressed out life, works for you, that's cool. Nobody's here to judge, because ultimately you have to look in the mirror. But what I've seen and I've seen it with friends, I've seen it with family members is when they get to the end, well, I should have done this, or I should have taken better care of myself, I shouldn't have worked so hard, or whatever it may be. And that's where we're saying do you need to get to the end of, like my mother's doing that right now, like you know, talking about healing Like she?

Speaker 2: 12:33

broke her foot June 22nd.

Speaker 1: 12:37

And she should have been completely healed by now. But because she doesn't take care of herself as well as my stepdad, because she doesn't allow her body to heal, she wants to push her, she wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it, instead of listening and working with her body. It's taking forever.

Speaker 2: 12:52

Yeah, and as a matter of fact, because we had the birthday on Sunday and Joe's sister wanted to do it at her house and she's like, no, no, we gotta do it here. And she promised us that she would not do anything. You know we would do everything. You know, I cooked some food, she ordered food, you know, everybody kind of chipped in. Yet she was still doing everything. And I talked to her on Monday and guess what? Her foot was swollen. She had to lay down, she had to keep it elevated, she had to ice it why? And she didn't listen.

Speaker 1: 13:22

Right, well, and again, that's that older generation and I completely understand and, like my sister, it stresses her out and I'm like that's her journey.

Speaker 1: 13:29

She's a grown woman, if that's what she chooses to do, then we just have to allow her to go on her journey, and that's one of the intentions for this podcast is for you to understand. It's your journey. You get to decide whether it's a relationship for your health, your finances, your career, your fulfillment life. You get to decide what you want that to look like and you have to make it happen it's. You can't sit on your ass, eat bonbons and then expect to be 120 pounds. Probably not going to happen unless you have extraordinary genes, which most of us don't have. Especially as we get older, father time tends to kick in and there are physiological changes that are common at this stage of life.

Speaker 2: 14:13

Absolutely, especially with women, right Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 14:15

That's just the way it is, but there are also people at this stage of life, who are healthy, who are fit, who are happy, who are in great relationship, who have financial success, who have fulfillment in life and they're just love in life. And those are the people that we look at and we study. Yeah, because it's like what are they doing differently? Why do they have the success of fulfillment? Now, we can all come up with all the reasons and excuses of why it's difficult or why it's hard for you. That's all they are. They're excuses. Let's be honest.

Speaker 2: 14:47

Yeah, and listen again. Like Joe said, it's your journey and if prioritizing your health isn't a big deal, that's okay, and we're not here to judge anybody. But if you wake up every morning with aches and pains and you don't like it, well then take action, find out why it's happening. It's not just no, I'm 50 now I have aches and pains. No, it doesn't have to be, because listen for myself when I know, when I'm not exercising and I'm not eating right, my aches and pains are so bad every morning. But when I change my diet, when I start working out again, they are like a hundred times better. So it does make a difference.

Speaker 2: 15:25

And what you're putting in your body makes a difference. When I eat a lot of sugar, fakes and pains come back. Even you know, going through menopause and like the hot flashes, I noticed a big difference in diet. Like when I ate a lot of sugar, a lot of something not good, my hot flashes would be so bad. You know, I would still get them other times, because that's the physiological part of menopause, but they were so much worse depending on what I was putting in my body. So it really makes a difference and it's one thing you want to start doing is noticing that, because I never noticed that until, you know, I was older and realized, wow, I ate all that today. And now look what's happening and once you really think about it and focus on it and notice it, you're like, wow, that's the part of the universe we live in your body knows you, giving you feedback.

Speaker 1: 16:17

You want to know how you're doing Just look at the feedback you're getting in your life, whether it's in your relationship. You want to know how you're doing. Look at the quality of your relationships. Look at your connections. Look at the emotional bonds that you're creating, or look at the distance, look at the friction that's there. You want to know how you're doing in your health. Look at the scale. Look at what your numbers are saying when you go to the doctors. Look at your energy. Look at how your clothes are fitting, like there's so many things. You want to know how your bank, you know how your finances are doing. Look at your bank account yeah, like there's a lot of things that you're doing. Yeah, like there are so many ways in life that the universe gives you feedback. That is now he says in here, especially in this country, we get so caught up, right, just trying to get through life.

Speaker 2: 17:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 17:04

That we don't, we're not conscious enough. And it blows my mind when, you know, a lot of times we'll talk to clients or friends or family members, which is having conversations, and it's like, hey, have you ever noticed that, whatever it may be, and they're like no, I'm like really, like you know if someone's in, you know if they're dating the same guys, hey, have you ever noticed that all these guys are like emotionally unavailable or they all have, you know, addiction problems? Oh no, I never really noticed that. I'm like, well, that's going to take for you to notice, you know, you haven't noticed that. You know you get stressed out and then you go to McDonald's, you go to Burger King, wherever it may be that you go there. When you're stressed out, you know, or when you're worried about money, you become angry and you start taking it out on other people, like there's.

Speaker 1: 17:50

Life always leaves clues. That's the beautiful part. But what are you doing in the face of those clues? Are you ignoring them or are you making excuses for them, using rationalizations and justification? Well, that's just the way it is. Everybody at this age goes through this. Well, again, it may be common, but it's not normal. And we're here to say is you get to decide and if you truly are happy with where you're at Mazel Tov.

Speaker 2: 18:14

God bless you.

Speaker 1: 18:15

If you're not, you might want to go. Ok, maybe time to start making some changes, and I know some of you go, but I don't know where to make the changes. Well, that's when you ask for help. That's when you go to Google. That's when you ask somebody. You know there's some philosophy I use. You want to succeed in something, find somebody who's really good in that area, who's very successful, and learn from them, model them, ask them what did you do? You know that's. That's a philosophy that I've used for now 25 years, because I don't have all the freaking answers and I'll be the first to admit it, but I want to. You know, as we talk about, I want to get to the end and I want to go with a full and grateful heart and a smile on my face. And I know there are things that I still need to improve and get better on areas that are rocking, but areas that still suck.

Speaker 2: 18:57

And so it's all right.

Speaker 1: 18:58

I'm not going to blame anybody or anything for that. What do I need to do? What do I need to change?

Speaker 2: 19:03

Right and just work on those things and don't be afraid to ask for help, like Joe was saying. And you know one thing I I learned a lot from. You know this is controversial, but you know social media could be really bad, but it also could be really good. And I learned a lot of things about me and my health from social media and Instagram and certain people that I follow, and you know it's very educational and it started me on a path of, you know, making changes and feeling better and there's a there's a, there's good and bad, and everything.

Speaker 1: 19:37

There are a lot of people out on social media who have good intentions, who are very knowledgeable, who have wisdom that they can share to make a positive difference in people's life. It's being able to differentiate and discern between who's legit and who's right.

Speaker 1: 19:53

Oh absolutely, you know, you know what, absolutely, and that's really again, that's what that's part of the journey is really doing your research and not just saying this because believing it, because somebody says it, versus OK, what's the truth, how does this resonate, how does it feel? And putting into play to see if it actually works and leads the results Right.

Speaker 2: 20:10

So you know. The biggest takeaway I think I hope that you come out with is pay attention. Pay attention to how you're feeling, Pay attention to things that are going on, Because once you start paying attention, you'll notice where you can start making the changes.

Speaker 1: 20:31

Right.

Speaker 1: 20:32

And I would say, if you're listening to this is like just look at where you are now. Look at the path wrong in whatever area of your life you're looking, whether it's your relationships, whether it's your health, your finances, your family life, whatever it may be. Look at where you are now and see what road it where are you headed. And you want to get a good idea of where you're headed. Kind of looking about the last six months, a year, because that's the path you're on is probably the path you're going to continue on unless something changes. And so notice that and see if you're happy with that, if you are cool. If not, it's like OK, how do I want it to be? It's something called reverse engineering. Ok, I want it to be like that.

Speaker 1: 21:13

So let's say, you want to be more fit. Ok, I want to be more fit. I want to lose 20 pounds, I want to lose 5% body fat, whatever that may be. Ok, that's where I want to be, that's the end. Now what do I need to do to make that happen? And then you say what are the results? What are the changes I need to make internally and externally to create that result? So that will help you. So, again, this podcast is all about helping you create a better life, to get better with age and be the version of you that you were created to be. So that's all I got.

Speaker 2: 21:41

Anything else before that, yeah, just remember, it's never too late. It's never too late to start.

Speaker 1: 21:47

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 21:48

Start today.

Speaker 1: 21:49

Right, and so we plan on being here next week.

Speaker 2: 21:51

But you know as, we will be here next week most likely.

Speaker 1: 21:55

You know it's not because we don't want to be here, because we did miss you and we love and appreciate you.

Speaker 2: 22:00

We'll see you next week. Have a great week, bye.