The Key To Getting Unstuck And Creating The Future You Really Want
Oct 04, 2023Episode 51
Joe & Natalie Amoia
Have you ever stood on the precipice of a major life decision, staring into the unknown, your heart pounding in your chest? Nothing brings us closer to our deepest desires than the courage to leap into that unknown. In our dynamic conversation, we dissect the fear and excitement that comes with such pivotal moments and delve into the elements of courage that often tip the scales in favor of change. We share intimate stories, from ending an engagement to transitioning careers, illuminating the transformative power of trusting your instincts, your values, and your dreams.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the leaps of faith we take in life and love, underlining the critical role a supportive partner can play in these monumental decisions. And we don't stop there. Engage with us as we tackle the crucial distinction between reckless leaps and necessary ones. We encourage listeners to take calculated risks, reminding them to do their due diligence, and to make decisions anchored in the heart and soul. It's about living life without regrets and moving towards a future you desire. Tune in and embrace the journey to your heart's desires.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
Have you ever stood on the precipice of a major life decision, staring into the unknown, your heart pounding in your chest? Nothing brings us closer to our deepest desires than the courage to leap into that unknown. In our dynamic conversation, we dissect the fear and excitement that comes with such pivotal moments and delve into the elements of courage that often tip the scales in favor of change. We share intimate stories, from ending an engagement to transitioning careers, illuminating the transformative power of trusting your instincts, your values, and your dreams.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the leaps of faith we take in life and love, underlining the critical role a supportive partner can play in these monumental decisions. And we don't stop there. Engage with us as we tackle the crucial distinction between reckless leaps and necessary ones. We encourage listeners to take calculated risks, reminding them to do their due diligence, and to make decisions anchored in the heart and soul. It's about living life without regrets and moving towards a future you desire. Tune in and embrace the journey to your heart's desires.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better with Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.
Speaker 1:
And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.
Speaker 2:
So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet. Hey everyone, it's Joe and it's Nat.
Speaker 1:
Welcome back to another episode of Getting Better with Age. What's up, Wifey?
Speaker 2:
Not that much. I like when we record our podcast.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, why do you like?
Speaker 2:
it my favorite day of the week.
Speaker 1:
Favorite day of the week. Oh boy, that doesn't say much for the other days of the week. I'm in trouble, so I start consulting a divorce attorney. Am I not meeting your needs? You're right next to me, so OK, I got it All right, so it's an added bonus because I'm next to you OK. I got it. You clarified that All right. So what do we want to talk?
Speaker 2:
about today.
Speaker 1:
Let's get into it. What do we get? We got something good today, so, before we get into it, I have a question for you Are you, do you feel, stuck? Is there something you really want in your life or something that you're experiencing that you really don't want and you know you need to make a change, but there's something holding you back. It's like this dreaded weight that's on your back, really slowing you down and preventing you from what you know you need to do or what you want to do. But let's be honest, you're just scared, shitless. Well, if that resonates with you, you're going to love this, because today we're going to talk about taking a leap of faith.
Speaker 2:
Yes.
Speaker 1:
And so what you need to understand is that in life very often we are, we find ourselves at crossroads, right, and it's like you know, if we make this decision, we're going to go down this road and that's usually the decision that keeps us comfortable, keeps us in a relationship, a job, a situation that is just familiar. It's kind of like the devil that we don't know. And then, if we make this other choice of decision, we're going to go down this different road that could lead to what we really want, but there's no guarantee and the idea of making that choice or decision is just scary as hell. So have you ever experienced anything in your life like that where you took that leap of faith, or or maybe you didn't, and you look back now and say, hey, you know what? I regret it. I think I should have.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and for me it's the latter. There have been so many times in my life when I could have taken that leap of faith and I didn't. I took the easy way out, I stayed in my little box, I stayed in my comfort zone and I sit back, not with regret, because I loved the journey of my life and where I am now, but I always wonder what more I could have done or more I could have accomplished on top of what.
Speaker 2:
I've already done and taking that easy way out is what most people do and I'm guilty of it and sometimes I wonder.
Speaker 1:
No, I totally know. I'm so glad you share that and if you're listening to this you can probably relate. Right, there's things looking back now you know what I should have left. I should have done this, what would have happened if I had done that? And I think getting to the point where you're at is like you know what.
Speaker 1:
I can't go back and change time because I think so many of us, like my mother she's 83. She still I should have done this, I could have done that, and she's always would have, should have, could have all over herself and I'm like but you did the best you could at that moment. What good is going back and beating yourself up over? You know the things you should have or could have done, but I think getting to the point where it's like you know what, yeah, I could have done some things different, and maybe I even should have. And I look back now wishing I would have, but I can't go back and change that. But what can I do now? And I think it's using our past to learn and grow from that will help us go forward, to make those leap of faiths when it is appropriate, because I think that's really important. Is that one of the things I've learned in my journey there's a difference between reckless courage and necessary courage and taking a leap of faith. Let's face it, what is it? It's really courage and taking a, an act of courage to move towards your heart's desire.
Speaker 1:
And, as we said, that's very scary and very often. You know our brain and our nervous system, which is designed to protect us right, fight or flight goes, fuck that. Stay here. We know what it's like here. It's kind of comfortable here. What's going to happen if we really leave?
Speaker 1:
You know, and we work a lot of women in the, you know, single dating world and some of them stayed in marriages or relationships for decades we're not talking months or, you know, even years, sometimes decades because they were afraid of leaving and they were afraid of taking that leap of faith. And it's invariably those who finally did get to the point and it's like you know what I should have done that years before, yeah, and I think that's when you have a desire in your heart and you follow and you listen to it and you take that leap of faith. That's necessary courage. That's where this courage right now is necessary for me to take that leap of faith that's going to take me towards what I desire, and it's called faith for that reason, because there's no guarantee, and I think as human beings we very often want to guarantee well, how do I know it's going to work out? You don't.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
You don't.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
But that's where you trust that little voice, your intuition, your higher self to go. This is what I'm really feeling called to do.
Speaker 2:
This is what I know in my heart, my soul, I need to do, and even though it's scary, I'm going to do it Right and, as I said in my past, I've stayed in my comfort zone, unfortunately, but this guy right next to me has not. There have been many times where he's taken a leap of faith. And tell him about that.
Speaker 1:
You know we were talking about that before. You know, we were kind of going over the notes for this, for this podcast, and I'm like, ok, let me look back. And I think there were three major times in my life where I took that leap of faith. The first I remember was when I was in eighth grade. Now I grew up, you know, as we talked about I grew up, you know, went to Catholic school Italian Catholic, went to Catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade and you know where I grew up in New Jersey, that when you go to Catholic school, most kids want to go to Catholic high school, most kids. And so there was one big school that was like you know, throughout your your grammar school experience, it's like I want to go here, I want to go.
Speaker 1:
Bergen Catholic was the school. I want to go to Bergen Catholic, like that's where all you know, the kids that you looked, looked up to and admired, that's where they went. And so it's like I want to go to Bergen Catholic and I got accepted to Bergen Catholic but none of my close friends did, and it's like, what do I do? And I remember my parents. You know, it's just funny how you just remember things Like I go back to that time and my parents are like you know what it's your journey. It's like you know you have to decide what you want to do, because this is the decision that you're going to look back on one day and be grateful that you made, or look back with regret, and we we're not going to tell you what to do. And I look back and I'm so grateful they did that, because in that moment there was just that something inside of me going. You know, I worked so hard and I wanted this for so long and I remember saying to myself if these kids are really my friends, we'll stay friends. Just because we go to different schools, high schools, doesn't mean our friendship should end, and if it wouldn't, then we weren't as good as friends as I thought. And some of those kids two of the kids that I've remained friends until one moved and then I made new friends and my best friend, best man at my wedding, was somebody I met in high school and we've got an amazing friendship. And I would not have had that friendship if I didn't take that leap of faith and all the good things that came out.
Speaker 1:
So that was the first one, number two. And the second one was walking away from my engagement 28 days before walking down the aisle you wanna talk about a leap of faith Like I knew I should have left a long time ago, but I was scared. I was afraid of walking. I was afraid of what others were gonna think of me, because everybody around me knew I was making the wrong decision and having to listen to everybody. And it was also the fear of I wanna get married. I wanted to have kids, like that's important to me. I grew up with that Italian Catholic family and everybody around me was getting married and having kids and I wanted that too.
Speaker 1:
So it was walking away from what? What if I never find it? What if I never had it? What if I'm alone? Like I'm so close. But I knew in my heart I was settling. So I knew I had to walk away and take that leap of faith. And I look back now and I am so grateful for that, not just because I found you but Of course, because I'd learned so much about myself and about life. And once I was out of that relationship I was. I'd learned so much about myself, my choices, my decisions and how important it is to listen to yourself and we wouldn't be doing the work we do today.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, exactly If I didn't go through that.
Speaker 1:
So that was the second one. And the third one was when I walked away from my career as being a chiropractor and you wanna talk about taking a leap of faith.
Speaker 1:
Like you know, I mean now I'm gonna go to help others find love. Like you don't go to school for that and I'm like I've got a wife, I've got a family, I've got mortgage, car payments, like all this stuff that I've gotta take care of. What if it doesn't work? Like I spent four years of my life studying to be a chiropractor, I spent a lot of money in my education and now I'm gonna walk away from that. Now I'm not gonna tell you that I made the decision to take the leap of faith. I put a you know, a closed sign on my door, no, no, no and walked away.
Speaker 1:
It was a transition, it was a transition period because I wanted to do everything to make sure that I was taking a leap of faith that I was pretty confident was gonna lead to where I wanted to go. So taking a leap of faith again isn't being reckless. It isn't okay waking up one day and going you know what? I've got a family, I've got to practice, but fuck it, I'm gonna just follow my heart and then just make this decision, cause there are ramifications to the choices and decisions you make. So you have to sometimes look at all aspects of it and then decide okay, what is it that I really want? And that's what I learned from that leap of faith is really to see all the sides of it and then go okay, what do I know to be true in my heart? And then take that leap of faith and it was a slow leap of faith, as you said, it was a transition.
Speaker 2:
Right, and one thing I'm gonna backtrack a little on what I said before, saying that I never took a leap of faith. But in all reality, you know we were married. That leap of faith wasn't just his, it was ours. So you know there was a, like Joe said, there was a ramifications all around. There was a lot of things to look at and being partners, being in a marriage, it affects everybody. So that was a big leap of faith for me too, bigger for him because he was leaving everything that he knew, like what he studied, what he went to school for, what he'd been doing for a long time, very long time. But again, being in a relationship, that's it's for both of you. And, yeah, I could have easily been like I don't know about that.
Speaker 1:
No, and that's one of the things that helped me take that leap of faith is because you were supporting me and I knew that there had to been stuff going on for you.
Speaker 1:
Like you know well, what if it doesn't happen? And you know we have kids to feed and bills and what are we gonna do and what if it doesn't work out. So I totally get that Cause I had a friend of mine who went through something similar and he did not get the support and it actually ruined his marriage and it didn't work out because he had to make choices, decisions as a result of that. So I'm so grateful for you, for you know your love and support and allowing me to take that leap of faith and for you taking a leap of faith as well. And that's something when you know for those of you who are in a relationship know that sometimes, when you truly love someone, you've got to take that leap of faith to trust them that they know what they're doing, and you also have to walk that fine line to kind of protect them Right. I'm thinking of the time where I was looking into Scientology.
Speaker 2:
Oh God, we were engaged already, right I think, and we were, you know, getting married and somebody, I don't remember even who it was.
Speaker 1:
No, I had a coach or mentor at the time who? Was the science and he wasn't, like you know, did the whole recruiting, but he just was sharing things with and at that point that's when I started my journey to you know, the things that I was indoctrinated with I'm like, wait, it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense, there needs to be more. And I started questioning things.
Speaker 2:
So he came along at a time to start inviting me to hey, you know, come to, I guess, meetings, whatever they were called, and you know, and we were talking about that we had a conversation about it and I was just not on board with that and I, you know, I did my research and I, you know, before I brought him more of my, you know what I felt before you led me to the light.
Speaker 2:
I led him to the light. Yeah, and I'm like this is not a good idea. I'm like and I gave him all the reasons why and thank God he's you know he stepped away and understood where I was coming from and knew that it wasn't the right decision for us Because we were in, we were getting married, that you know, every decision was our decision at that point.
Speaker 1:
Right, and it was just so important that in that moment that you stopped me from taking what would have been a recklessly to the point and that's what we want to really differentiate in Hammer Home is that there's a difference between a courageous sleep of faith, a necessary leap of faith, and a reckless sleep of faith. And if you don't, like, really do your due diligence and really check into your heart and your gut and your intuition and why am I doing this? Cause I think ultimately comes that if you're taking that leap of faith when it truly comes from your heart and your soul, then everything will work out beautifully. But if you're doing it from your mind, from your ego, from a place of fear that if I don't do this, I'm not gonna get what I really want, or I'm afraid of if I do this, what's gonna happen, it could go wrong, it might not work out and you're doing it from that place, I think that's when that reckless leap of faith really doesn't work out. Well, are you always using an analogy? I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:
No, okay, do your analogy, then I'll go.
Speaker 1:
Cause you know I love analogy. So it's kind of like a necessary leap of faith is like you want to jump off a building with a parachute Cause it's like you know I want to experience what it's like to skydive right. And so you jump off the building I think it was like a free base jumping or something like that and then you pull the parachute and on the way down is scared cause you don't know if the parachute's gonna open right. All the fear takes off and then it opens up and you land like that was a great experience. I'm so grateful I did that.
Speaker 1:
Reckless courage is like you know, I want to know what it's like to jump off a building and you jump without a parachute cause you haven't thought it through, you haven't looked at all the other aspects of what was necessary, or you just put a parachute on, you stuffed it and didn't understand how to pack a parachute correctly, how to pull the cord, when to pull the cord and ultimately, because you didn't do your due diligence, it didn't work out. So it's really being able to differentiate between a necessary leap of faith versus a reckless leap of faith.
Speaker 2:
Right, and I think one thing for me was this doing this podcast was a big leap of faith for me and I think it's important. If you notice, all the leap of faiths that I talk about were our leap of faiths, and I think it's when you have somebody supporting you it does make it so much easier to do. And this podcast was a leap of faith, as I said, because it's scary putting ourselves out there. We're pretty transparent and we talk about a lot of stuff you know and again, it's scary, but it's really knowing that we're doing this for a good reason and we are helping those that are listening, hopefully, and they're getting something from us and it's resonating with them. So having the support and the knowing of the good that can come out of it was so helpful for us to really and for me to really be on board with this, because we actually tried a podcast a while back, but I think recorded one episode and then that was it. So, yeah, when you have a support system there, that really, really helps.
Speaker 1:
Oh, 1000%. Like you know, all those times and where I wanted to take that leap of faith and coming to you and you not other than the Scientology, which you absolutely justify, but on those other times really supporting me and having my back enabled me to take that leap of faith much easier.
Speaker 2:
Right, because there were so many people around us like what are you crazy? His family his patients were like oh my God, no.
Speaker 1:
To this day. You know, don't you miss being a chiropractor, don't you? Oh, you were so good at it. I'm like, yeah, but it wasn't my calling anymore. It served me to that point of my life, but I just felt unfulfilled. There was something in me that knew I wanted to do more. I didn't know what it was, but that's where that leap of faith and you start moving in that direction and doors start opening and the universe gives you what you need to get to the next step, to the next step and the next step, until you ultimately get to where you want to go and it all works out. You look back and go.
Speaker 1:
I'm so grateful, and that's really the message we want to bring home today is that if there's something within you that you know you're struggling with and you know you need to take that leap of faith, do it Because you'll look back. I always say you're going to get to the end of your life and you're going to look back in those moments and be grateful. Or you're going to look back with regret, and one of the things is I don't want to look back with any regret. I want to look back in that, even if I made a decision that didn't work out, because I felt it was right that I'm glad I did and I have no regrets. No regrets saying, well, I should have what I could have learned.
Speaker 2:
So you do want to determine Whether it's that recklessly, the faith or not because you don't want to make a huge mistake in your life, and that's where having a support system, somebody you can talk to about it, somebody that can help you weigh the pros and cons Everything about it is really important. Yeah, 100% and it's so important to have.
Speaker 1:
You know If you're not blessed to have a partner in your life. You know friends, family, like people that you know and trust, who truly know you, like they're not here to tell you their agenda and what they think they should do based on their beliefs and how they see the world, but who truly sit and get into your world, who have empathy, who try and understand you and support you in making the best choice of decision that is right for you, because the truth is nobody knows what is right and best for you other than you and you know deep down what's gonna bring that joy in your heart.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that's what it's all about. It's living from your heart, feeling that joy and and doing what you were meant to do or being how you were meant to be. You're just being your true, authentic self in how that looks, in your journey.
Speaker 1:
Very great. So yeah, before I wrap it up, anything else you want to share?
Speaker 2:
No, this was good. You know it's an important topic, I think, because a lot of people do feel stuck and don't know where to go, what to do, and and hopefully this resonates- right, and you know we're talking about.
Speaker 1:
We're in midlife right, Maybe a little beyond, and you know we don't know how many days are guaranteed.
Speaker 2:
So what is it that you want you?
Speaker 1:
know. How do you want to improve your life?
Speaker 1:
You know what's what's that fear that's holding you back, that's preventing you from taking that leap of faith, and you know that's really. You know what we invite you to do this week is to really look at that. Look at you, step out of your life, kind of as an observer, and just go okay, where am I stuck? What's something that I know I should do but I'm not doing, or what's something that I really want to do and I've been wanting to do for a long time, but I'm just scared.
Speaker 2:
Something that I'm doing that's not working for me, that I really should stop, but I'm afraid to.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I know I know I need to make a change. Yeah but you know. But, as you said, it's comfortable, it's familiar. But then look at, you know what's the cost of the next 10, 15, 20, 30, 40 more years in a world that that's comfortable but doesn't really light you up. And you know again, that brings a poem to you know why we do this is to really that your life can be Whatever you want it to be, and it can get better with time.
Speaker 1:
At this stage of the game, Absolutely so go ahead and take that mirror time and really get clear. And again, if you're stuck, there's something you're struggling with or he's like you know what. I want to take that leap of faith, but I don't know how to do it because I'm really scared. I'm terrified. You know, reach out to us.
Speaker 2:
Reach out yes, you can always find them information on our podcast description or emails or social media Information where you could DM us were always here for you.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and then really you're not in this alone. So I Promise you, if your heart is calling you to take that leap of faith and you do it, you're gonna look back and you're gonna be. It was because those two knuckleheads I listened to on that podcast. Joe and that right, and it's like you know what they might have known what they were talking about. So, um, so we love and appreciate you. We'll see you next week.