What if the unfulfilled desires in your life were not were not in fact God's Will but mere manifestations of a misaligned belief system?
Join us for an insightful dialogue on the ever-mysterious notion of God's will and the role it may or may not play in what you experience in your life.
We explore the how our fears and desire to stay within our comfort zones often cause us to hide behind the mask of divine will, causing us to miss out on the life we genuinely aspire to live.
We also delve into the powerful role of free will, exploring how it shapes our choices and ultimately our life paths.
By taking a closer look at our environment and ingrained beliefs, we uncover how they might be limiting us, preventing us from taking risks and following our hearts.
We invite you on this journey of self-discovery and introspection, encouraging you to question your own belief systems and uncover your own truths.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
What if the unfulfilled desires in your life were not were not in fact God's Will but mere manifestations of a misaligned belief system?
Join us for an insightful dialogue on the ever-mysterious notion of God's will and the role it may or may not play in what you experience in your life.
We explore the how our fears and desire to stay within our comfort zones often cause us to hide behind the mask of divine will, causing us to miss out on the life we genuinely aspire to live.
We also delve into the powerful role of free will, exploring how it shapes our choices and ultimately our life paths.
By taking a closer look at our environment and ingrained beliefs, we uncover how they might be limiting us, preventing us from taking risks and following our hearts.
We invite you on this journey of self-discovery and introspection, encouraging you to question your own belief systems and uncover your own truths.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.
Joe:
And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.
Nat:
So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet. Hello everyone, it's Joe and it's Nat. Welcome back to another episode of Getting Better With Age. How are you doing, joe?
Joe:
What up, Wivy?
Nat:
Oh, nothing much Just hanging around. It's a beautiful day here in New Jersey, feeling good.
Joe:
Absolutely. How can I not be in a better place? I'm here with you, my favorite person in the world. Good answer Absolutely. I'm a smart man. Those of you married men out there listen always make your wife feel what she wants to feel the key to a successful marriage.
Nat:
Happy wife, happy life.
Joe:
Absolutely Unhappy wife, miserable life.
Nat:
That's how this episode is about today.
Joe:
Absolutely, we've got a good one for you today. You know, there's two things that they say you should never talk about.
Nat:
Religion and politics.
Joe:
So today we're actually going to take that courageous leap and talk about one of those subjects not politics, not politics, not going there. We're not going to touch that one with a 12 foot pole, but what we are going to talk about something that has to do with religion has to do with religion Right Right and not necessarily about Right.
Joe:
Now, before we get into this, we want to put a little disclaimer that what we're going to talk about today is what we believe to be true, based on our journey. It doesn't mean it has to be true for you. We're just putting it out there and we want you to simply look at it. But we know that for a lot of individuals, this topic is something that they hold on to that keeps them from really experiencing and achieving what they really want in life their hearts desires.
Nat:
Right. So has there ever been anything that you really, really wanted, you truly desired in your heart, and it just wasn't happening? And then you were just resigned to the fact that must be God's will. It's just not meant to be, and if it was supposed to be, he would have let it happen.
Joe:
Right. And I remember when I was single and you know, especially after my engagement ended, and people like, well, you know, it just wasn't meant to be. It's God's will. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. And that used to like really burn my butt Like I'm, like what do you mean? Like I'm such a good person, I put so much into this relationship. It didn't work out and that's because God didn't want it for me, like so now I'm supposed to be single, like it was just something about it.
Joe:
And this, like that opened up a whole can of worms for me. Because, you know, as someone who went to Catholic school for 13 years, from the day from kindergarten to the day graduated high school, a lot of stuff that I was taught in my religion just didn't make sense to me, right, and I think that's part of the journey and part of you getting to your truth is really examining what feels good, what feels right to you, because there is these things that were taught that very often aren't really true. It's somebody else's belief, somebody else's dogma, somebody else's Form of manipulation to get you to do what they want you to do or believe what they want you to believe, but it's really not the truth in your heart. And that's why we're doing this today, because if you're at that midpoint of your life where, as Natalie says, there's something, let's say it's, it's a relationship, let's say you're single, and it's like you know what? I don't understand. I'm a good person, I have a lot to offer, I have so much love in my heart, why is it not happening? And then you know your results effect. Well, I really have no explanation, so I'll put it on God.
Joe:
It's God's will, and so what we're here to talk about today Is it really God's will. Is it really God's will that you have a desire in your heart? And, first of all, where did that desire come from? And so you have that desire in your heart that came from somewhere, but then you're gonna be denied it. But other people who are just as good, maybe not even as good as you, don't have as much as off to offer as you. They have someone to share their life with, they have a partner, and we're not just talking about relationships. They could be other. It could be finances, it could be career, it could be health, fitness, like you know. Well, it's just God's will. So, you know, I just have to, you know, accept it and that's the way it's gonna be right.
Nat:
I kind of see it as, let's say, just for example, there's five women standing in a circle and they all are single and you know, they all want to be in a loving relationship and mean an amazing man. Do you believe that God's looking down on those five women and saying, okay, you can have it, you can have it. You can't, you can't, you could.
Joe:
That's it is is.
Nat:
Is that a loving God?
Joe:
and I think that's really the key is, is we have to explore, like, who is God really and does God have a will? Because if you go to Catholic school, like I did, or you're in a lot of organized religions where you were taught that there is this being up in the sky, up in heaven, usually with a white beard and a little scepter in his hand, who has these rules right and generally, if you buy to these rules, then you get a pass. Ultimately, when you transition, you go to heaven, but if you don't abide to these rules, then you're not. You're gonna burn in eternal damnation, which, first of all, never made sense to me. Because if God is unconditionally loving, right, god loves us unconditionally, unconditionally. But there's a little asterisk because, no, he doesn't love us unconditionally. He loves us unconditionally If we followed his rules right, right, right.
Nat:
So let's get back to what we started, where you know, is it God's will for you to have this and for this person not to, when you both want it equally so, or is that which is some people use as an excuse to say Because they truly believe that they're just never gonna have it?
Joe:
right. Well, I think that's where we have to understand, like, who God is, because does God have this will that he or she, depending on what you believe imposes on us, and we just have to sit here and Except what God's will is. And, as you've naturally said, if you're one of those women who is in that circle and God favors you, well, again you get it. But if not, then it's like, well, you don't, and it's just God's will, and you have to accept it. And again, this is about you getting to your truths and Finding what you know to be true in your heart, in your soul, not just what you've been taught, because I believe it's very dangerous Accepting something without really finding your truth, because I think very often we cut ourselves off From experiencing and having what we really wanted. To me, it almost becomes like an excuse Well, it didn't happen, though I guess it's just God's will and I'm like is it really?
Nat:
no, and that's what I was saying. Is that? Is it just the excuse? Because you don't believe it's going to happen and you just Don't want to take that leap of faith? You don't want to, you want to stay in your comfort zone, you don't want to learn, you don't want to grow, you don't want to try to achieve that. Do the extra, go, the extra mile To maybe find out why this is not happening? And or are you just? Well, it's God's will and you're staying stuck in your comfort zone, right?
Joe:
And I think you kind of hit the nail on the head is, very often it becomes an excuse for us, so that we don't have to really look and see what's going on and Look at things that we may not want to see, we may not want to accept, because what I believe to be true is that God's will is our will, right. So there's this divine intelligence that created us and look at it like children, right, like we're parents of three boys. We love our boys, right, and if we are truly in a loving place, unconditionally loving, we want nothing more than for them to be who they were created to be and experience whatever their heart desires, right. Right, if we're truly coming from there and, let's be honest, some of us, as parents, want our kids to look a certain way or hang out with certain people, or get certain grades, or go to a certain college or get a certain job or live in a certain area of town.
Joe:
If we're like, really honest with with ourselves, right, there's a part of us, some of us, who really want our kids to be who we want them to be, instead of who they choose to be and what works best for them. So I think, if we are truly in that unconditionally loving place. We're just like. We're here to love and support you on your journey, to do what we can to be there for you. But ultimately it's up to you to create what you want, and that's who I see God to be, and it's almost like God creates in our image. Right, we're his children and we have children to experience what that unconditional love is supposed to be. But a lot of us don't do a great job sometime if we're really honest.
Joe:
So I believe that's what God's will is for us to experience and create what we want. And no matter what we do, I think we're gonna be loved anyway.
Nat:
Right, that's exactly. It's like I don't believe that our lives are kind of predestined right, Because if that was the case, if it was God's will and it was meant to be whatever was meant to be or not, that kind of means your life was already predetermined, and I don't believe that a loving God would subject one person to one thing and another person to another thing. It's kind of like, you know, if it's something I really, really want, I don't want to believe that I'm not supposed to have it. I'm gonna do what I can to create the life that I choose.
Joe:
And again think about that Like what would be the purpose of that? I'm gonna create you, but I already know exactly what you're gonna do, when you're gonna do, how you're gonna do it and what you're meant to be. So everything is kind of planned out. So it's basically you're just going through this motion. So what would be the purpose for us? Right, like that would just be like a really egocentric God that goes look, I got all this freaking power and I'm gonna make you jump through hoops and do this and do that so I can go look at how wonderful I am. That's not the God I believe in.
Nat:
Right, and it's like we're not robots. God didn't create robots. God created human beings with free will. Right, and that's the key thing is, we have free will to do what we choose, to create what we choose, to live our lives the way we choose Right.
Joe:
And again, it's like telling your kids like, well, you have free will, but when your free will doesn't work out is because that's what I want, that's my will. And it's like, well, does that resonate? Does that make sense? Versus, you know I love you unconditionally. I created you. I want you to experience whatever you desire in your heart. I want you to create whatever you desire in your heart, and when you, as a human being, don't follow what your heart desires, that's what I think God intervenes, it goes. Hey, you know what. You might want to look at this. You might want to check this out. You may not want to do that again. You know those same three guys that you keep dating that are narcissists and you keep having the same relationship.
Nat:
Well, that's not, that's not my will.
Joe:
It's not my will, my dear. My will is for you to be in a happy, loving relationship, but you're not getting it because you have free will and you're choosing men for the wrong reasons that ultimately aren't giving you what you want. And I think that's kind of what we need to do on this journey is to open up. That's why we're doing this podcast today is to hey, let's start this dialogue to really look at it because, as Natalie says, whether it's a relationship, maybe you have a health challenge that you're going through, or you get a series of health challenges and you're like I don't understand why this is happening. It's like, why is God doing this to me? If you keep putting the onus on God and his will, then you lose all your power versus okay, what am I doing? That? It may be contributing to this and sometimes it's unconscious. We don't even realize it.
Joe:
There's a great book by Dr Bruce Lipton. It's called the biology of belief and basically the book comes to this conclusion, or scientifically proven, that 96 to 98% of everything we think, say or do is unconscious. So we're all running around like on autopilot and most of us don't even realize it and how you know, if you're ever on autopilot. You go, well, that's just the way I am, right, right, and it's like no, that's the way you learn to become because of your life experience and the things you've seen, heard and experience in your life. But it's not who you are.
Joe:
And that comes back to you know, having free will and having the power to say yes, I may be like this because of what I've experienced, what I think, what I believe, but that doesn't mean I have to be like this, going forward and, you know, to circle back around. That's why we're addressing this topic today is because if you're like stuck in an area of your life and you can't seem to get unstuck or you're sitting around, go well, it's not my fault, I'm trying everything, I've done all these things and it's still not working. Well, I guess it's God's will or it's meant to be. No, you're just not trying to write things. Maybe you're addressing the symptom, but you're not getting to the cause of the problem.
Nat:
Right and I think a lot of it is about settling. I think when we get to a certain age, we kind of just settle for how things are supposed to be. When you're over 50, let's say, you know, and this is what happens, your body starts to deteriorate and you start to get aches and pains and, you know, you might not be as sharp as you used to be, you know, but we, you know, and that's the biggest thing I want everybody to get from this podcast is you don't have to settle for the status quo. You don't have to settle for anything because society tells you that's the way it's supposed to be.
Nat:
You know, I just saw a quick the other day. There was like a 90-something year old man that ran the New York Marathon. It just was the other day. I'm like he didn't settle. You know what I mean. So you know, I don't see a loving God saying that, well, yeah, you have to settle for the life you have, because this is what I determined for you. Like, that's to me not a loving God. Like, just like a parent wants their child to flourish and to grow and, to, you know, become who they want to be. Same, it's the same thing. And I don't you know, I think a lot of parents who impose their will on their children is out of fear, right?
Nat:
Because, they're afraid that they're not gonna succeed or they're not gonna be able to do it on their own or whatever. But God doesn't live from fear. God lives from love.
Joe:
And I think that's where it's a matter of shining the light of truth and having these conversations, because if we don't have these conversations, patterns just keep repeating themselves and, you know, 50s turns into 60s and to 70s and 80s, and we become like a lot of people our parents and their generation who just kind of go through life and they're just existing. And that's not a judgment, it's just an observation. But it's like, well, if we don't do things differently, then we're just gonna wind up existing. And, as you said, it's that.
Joe:
Why is it that the 90 year old man can run the marathon and another 70 year old man has no energy? Sitting around is just not healthy. Is it God's will, or is it that the man who's 70 year old or 90 year old running the marathon has a different outlook on life? He's thinking differently, he's acting differently, he's taking different actions, he's exercising and the 70 year old guy isn't. You know, it's not a judgment, it's just an observation, and it's like, ultimately, we're all gonna get to the end and we're gonna just go. Okay, do you wanna be that 90 year old guy who is healthy, who is fit, who is active, who is full of life, or do you wanna be that younger guy who is just surviving, just getting through life like it's such a burden.
Nat:
Yeah, and I see that all the time with just women. My age I mean, listen, I'm 54, I don't hide my age because it's part of life right, I'm fine with it.
Nat:
And there are Girls my age who are living life and who are loving it. Being of the marathon, a good friend of mine from high school, just my age, just ran the New York City Marathon and I'm very proud of her and it's an amazing accomplishment. But on the other hand, I see the same age women who complain every day about everything and my life is awful and why does it have to be this way? And da da, da, da, da da. So listen, we choose how we want to live our lives. We have free will. We have the ability to create what we want to create in our lives and to live how we want to live.
Joe:
I was reading something the other day and it said if you really look at it, your life is a reflection of your beliefs. Yes, so you know all the women who are just like you know it's difficult, it's hard, it's difficult and hard because they believe it's difficult and hard and the ones who are running the marathon go. No, it's cool, it's fun, I'm running a marathon, I'm healthy, and so I think everybody has that potential. But what they experience in life is also a reflection of their free will and what they believe versus what God's will is Right.
Nat:
And I'm not saying every 54 year old has to run the New York City Marathon to feel accomplished. You know, that's not it at all.
Joe:
That's the beauty of life.
Nat:
Yeah, and it's whatever you choose to make that makes you feel good and full of joy and accomplished, and whatever it is that you want to feel, your choice.
Joe:
Yeah, and that's again where we want to talk about today is you know, are you putting stock that, well, this is God's will and you have no control, or very little control over your life, and it's all destines, it's all in the cards and you just have to lump it if you're not getting what you want. Or is it that you know what? Maybe I do have control, Maybe it really comes down to me and God makes it all possible.
Joe:
It's just I've been going about it the wrong way because of, you know, my indoctrination of things that I've believed or things that I was taught or things that were espoused to me, because that's the environment that I grew up in and where we're here to say is it, you know, like, find your true? We're not telling you to believe this, because we believe.
Joe:
No, not at all, we're saying you know what makes sense to you, what makes you feel good, what help you improve your life and get better with age? Or is it just continuous, natalie said you know, well, this is just the way it is, and everybody's saying and doing the same things. You know, one of the things that I've always tried to live my life with is because it's like the glass half empty and half full. You can find evidence according to what you want to look for, what you want to see, and so there's always people complaining and arguing or using evidence to why it's difficult, why it's age, why it's, you know, not meant to be for them, whatever. And then there are other individuals who are succeeding, who are thriving, who are running the marathon, who have great relationships, who are finding love in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, who are getting healthier, who are making more money than ever in their life, and it's like well, who do I want to model? You know, I want to model the people who are getting better, who are succeeding, versus the ones who are sitting around and complaining or justifying why they can't.
Joe:
I think what's it to quote by Henry Ford? Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're still right. I think it was Henry Ford Right. And so it's your life. You, as I said earlier, your life is a reflection of your beliefs, but this is time to really start taking inventory and seeing where you're at and looking at. Okay, have you been using God's will as an excuse to prevent you from going out and doing what you need to do? Or maybe that you know you've been trying and it hasn't been working and so you've got nothing less than well? I guess it's not meant to be. It's God's will versus, is it? Maybe you've just been trying or doing the wrong things, or maybe there's some things going on at that unconscious level that are really blocking you from doing what you need to do.
Nat:
It's blocking you from having what your heart desires. It's ways to Figure out what's going on, whether you know, you do your research, you, whether you talk to somebody. I mean there's always ways to get through Any kind of obstacle in your life. And if you're not feeling great and if you don't want to be this way, there's things you can do. But if you just want to, if you're happy in your current situation, then that's fine. And if there's, you know, if you're happy, you're happy, and that that's what's important about being happy and finding joy and living the life that you choose right.
Joe:
We said all the time in it, almost every episode, is that we're all going to get to the end and we're going to look back and my goal is to go out with a smile on my face and a full and grateful heart and not one regret. And if I can do that, I know that I live the blessed life. I'm not there yet, but I'm putting all my energy into Making the changes I need to make to get there. And so this is. You know, this is kind of your mirror time. You know, what we're going to invite you to do is is really sit and take inventory of where you're at and look at your life. Is it a reflection of your beliefs? You know?
Joe:
Have you been believing that it's God's will and just haven't been taking action or doing things, or maybe doing the wrong things, and it's easier to put it on God than it is to take responsibility? So we want to know what you believe right after listening this, what resonates with you, what is it that you were going to do differently From today forward? That's going to help you make your life better. And when you figure that out, you know, either put it in the comment section below or, you know, reach out and let us know, because we really want to know what, what resonates with you.
Nat:
Yeah, no, definitely, um could always reach out. We always have our information in the in the episode description and you know, let us know if you're stuck. Maybe we can help guide you in the right direction.
Joe:
That's it All right. We love and appreciate you. Have a great week. We'll see you next week.