Picture this: You're walking by a mirror, taking a glimpse of yourself. You see wrinkles, gray hairs, and signs of fatigue - the undeniable proof that you are aging. Does that scare you, or do you see it as a badge of honor, a testament to your journey?
Join us for a candid conversation on the inevitable journey we all experience as we grow older. We'll explore the choice between embracing the gray or reaching for the dye, the pitfalls of the youth-obsessed culture, and the importance of feeling good, about looking good. This isn't about vanity, it's about authenticity, joy, and redefining beauty.
As the podcast rolls on, we take a proactive approach to aging. It's more than just accepting wrinkles and gray hair; it's about planning for the inevitable journey.
Together, we delve into strategies for staying healthy, mindful, and joyful in the later stages of life. We underline the significance of maintaining a vibrant spirit and embracing the changes that the natural progression of life often brings.
Hear our experiences and reflections on the repercussions of not aging gracefully, and why your personal journey should be celebrated, not dreaded. So, get comfortable, pour yourself a glass of your favorite vino, and let's find the beauty in getting better with age, together.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
Picture this: You're walking by a mirror, taking a glimpse of yourself. You see wrinkles, gray hairs, and signs of fatigue - the undeniable proof that you are aging. Does that scare you, or do you see it as a badge of honor, a testament to your journey?
Join us for a candid conversation on the inevitable journey we all experience as we grow older. We'll explore the choice between embracing the gray or reaching for the dye, the pitfalls of the youth-obsessed culture, and the importance of feeling good, about looking good. This isn't about vanity, it's about authenticity, joy, and redefining beauty.
As the podcast rolls on, we take a proactive approach to aging. It's more than just accepting wrinkles and gray hair; it's about planning for the inevitable journey.
Together, we delve into strategies for staying healthy, mindful, and joyful in the later stages of life. We underline the significance of maintaining a vibrant spirit and embracing the changes that the natural progression of life often brings.
Hear our experiences and reflections on the repercussions of not aging gracefully, and why your personal journey should be celebrated, not dreaded. So, get comfortable, pour yourself a glass of your favorite vino, and let's find the beauty in getting better with age, together.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.
And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.
Speaker 1:
And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.
Speaker 2:
So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet. Hello everyone, it's Joe and it's Nat. Welcome back to another episode of Getting Better With Age. How you doing, joe.
Speaker 1:
What up, baby?
Speaker 2:
Are you getting better with age?
Speaker 1:
I am doing my best. That's why we created this podcast.
Speaker 2:
Exactly. We want to get better with age, and today we are going to continue that conversation. We are going to talk about the aging process and how that looks for us and for each and every one of you.
Speaker 1:
And, more importantly, it's being able to embrace the aging process, because, you know, let's face it. We're all going to get older in one way, shape or form, and so if you're born, you're going to get older. You've probably gotten older in a lot of ways already. If you're like us, you start experiencing some of those aches and pains in the morning, or you know it's a little slower. You know it takes a little bit more time to do things where your body goes to, especially if you're a woman. Goes through those physiological changes.
Speaker 1:
So that's just part of the journey, but you know, was it really take to embrace it? And do most of us embrace it? Because I think most of us fight it.
Speaker 2:
Yes, I definitely see that. I think most of us do fight it and you just see that just out in the world, like people getting facelifts and all this crazy surgery and they don't look like themselves anymore and you know, everything is anti-aging this, anti-aging that, and it's like what kind of lesson is that to our younger generation? Also, like, what are we teaching them? Are we teaching them that it's bad to get old?
Speaker 1:
I think you just hit on a key point right. We're so indoctrinated with anti-aging, like we shouldn't get old, it's bad to get old, where it's just a fact of life. We're all going to get old, but it's how you're aging, and are you doing it in a way that is graceful and that makes you happy and where you're joyful, or are you doing it in a way where you're fighting, resisting, right? You're talking about getting a surgery. Now, look, I'm all for it. If you want to have surgery and you in your heart, you feel it's going to, you know, a little nip, little tuck is going to help you feel better and put you in a better state, that's awesome. But I think, if you know you're on the individuals, it's like you're going to get a surgery and now you want another surgery and another surgery.
Speaker 1:
And you're always chasing that elusive character on the stick and you're not aging gracefully.
Speaker 1:
I think that's where the conundrum begins is when are we aging gracefully as a normal part of life and doing things which help us feel better about ourselves, to have more energy, be happier, more fulfilled, more joy, whatever it may be, or one of those things where we're not aging gracefully and we're chasing something outside?
Speaker 1:
Thinking? That's going to be the answer Because, as we've talked about many times on this podcast, you know, true joy comes from within, from within your heart. So you can do whatever you want surgeries, liposuction, facelifts, hair implants you know you can do whatever you want, but if you're not doing it from your heart, it'll never lead to the feeling that you want. I think the marketing companies really understand that, yes, and take advantage of that and that's one of the reasons why we're doing this is to say, hey, you know what is that you want. If you're at this stage, you're in the light and you may have started to see those changes that are already happening, or maybe you're a little bit further down the road Are you experiencing what you want in a way that brings you joy and makes you feel good?
Speaker 2:
Right. It's like do you feel good about yourself? Because that's really what it comes down to. And I see so many women, especially women, you know, in midlife, you know, once they hit their fifties, either they there's like two opposite spectrums. Like you either do everything you can to make yourself look young again or you just give up, like there's got to be a happy medium. And for me I like the happy medium because you know what? I'm okay that I'm getting older. I say this all the time. I'm 54 years old. I have no problem telling people that.
Speaker 2:
But I also like to look good for myself. So, for instance, my hair has been blonde since high school. My natural hair color is brown, so I haven't had brown hair in very long time. But now when my blonde roots grow out, they're gray and I used to be like, oh my God, my gray showing. Now this is awful, but no, now I'm like I don't mind that my gray is showing, because that's just part of my life. Like that's what happens when you get old and I am embracing that.
Speaker 2:
But then I do color my hair and I do not hide the grays, I just color the roots because I like the way my hair looks blonde and it's all about that. But now, when, like you know, now I need to dye job, but it's okay that people see that like I used to be embarrassed oh my God, my grades are showing. I'm okay with that. If somebody looks at me and like, look, now it's got all that gray hair, well, you know what, I don't care. I don't care about what you think about me, it's none of my business. So I do things for myself, to make me feel good and make me feel happy, not for anybody else.
Speaker 1:
There are two things you hit on there. I'm going to start with the first, which I think is getting to a place where you're in acceptance. Right, because I think most of us, or a lot of people, when they hit this point you know the anti-aging I'm getting older, my skin is getting wrinkled, I'm getting age spots and all this other stuff it's like I don't want this, I don't like this, and I think that's when it feeds right into you know the marketing world where it's like, oh, we got the magic answer to make you your skin top-taught. Or like your dark spots disappear or color, whatever it may be. But I think the key is getting to a point where you're doing it from a place of acceptance, like, yeah, okay, this is me, this is poor, this is part of the process at this stage of life.
Speaker 1:
But now I get to decide what I want to do for me, because what makes me feel better? And I agree. And I want to also get into a man's perspective, because I think it's very different from men and women, but for me kind of the same thing. Like I color my beard and I do it only because I just like it better, like it's not because I'm afraid of getting old and what people are going to think. It's just like you know what with the gray and the salt and pepper. I don't really like the way it looks, but there's no vanity. Worried about what other people like I truly do it for me.
Speaker 1:
And I think it's so important that if you're doing it, you're doing it for you, from your heart, because it makes you feel better, versus I don't like this, I don't want this. I need to do this because if I don't do this, I'm never going to be at peace, and I think that's where that acceptance comes in.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and you can just truly accept okay, this is where I am, this is what works for me, and then go do it, because I think in life we very often, you know, confession time. I used to be one of the most judgmental people in the world.
Speaker 2:
I've really worked harder than.
Speaker 1:
Natalie, and so you know, you would see those women who had you know, and they'd be on talk shows where they have 15 surgeries they there's one when they even called it the cat. I would be like you know, I would be so judgmental of that person and I'm now like you know what who am I to judge? Maybe that she really really likes that? I don't know, I'm not her and it's really none of my business. But I think we've been so indoctrinated that you have to look younger and have to be a certain way or dress a certain way. You know you can't have a little couple extra pounds, or you know it's. There's so many labels that society puts on us and we believe we have to conform, and then it brings up people's insecurities and their fears and I think that's so dangerous because it causes people to believe that they're not good enough.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
And I think one of the biggest goals in life is get to point that, no matter what you look like, no matter where you're at, you are good enough. You're just on a journey and if you can get to a place of acceptance, like, okay, this is where I'm at, once you get to accept this, it doesn't mean that, hey, you know what I want to make some changes. You know I put on, you know, probably 30 pounds in the last year and it's like that is. I accept it. But I'm like you know I don't. I don't like the way it feels, you know, carrying around this extra weight and you know I was doing a lot of housework this weekend and I'm like man, I felt it that's on my body.
Speaker 2:
That's going about his walk this morning. What?
Speaker 1:
about my walk.
Speaker 2:
Well, you know, it's not as easy as it used to be.
Speaker 1:
You know you don't get by a bag of cement and carry around. You know you'll feel the weight of you know the stress of that extra weight, so I definitely am feeling it.
Speaker 1:
But that's one of the reasons why I'm doing it, because I realized, okay, I can accept it, but I no longer choose to be in this space. So now I'm just going to go do the work I know I need to do to get to a place where I can be at peace. Do I need to have washboard out? No Like. For me, it has always been and always will be about looking and feeling good. Right, if I can look in the mirror and like what I see, or I can feel good physically emotions then I'm good. I don't need to look a certain way or dress a certain or act a certain way to get somebody else's love, acceptance or approval Long past.
Speaker 2:
Right, and it's not just about the you know the outward, how you look, your face, your hair, your body it's about the inside and your health.
Speaker 2:
You know, I just recently came across something on social media and it said do you want to be, would you rather be, the oldest person in the gym or the youngest person in the nursing home? And that was like, yeah, exactly, that's true. It's like.
Speaker 2:
You know, for me, I want to be able to keep myself healthy and you know, just you know, not really thriving throughout, not just my midlife, but in my later years too. I like, I want to feel good, I don't want to have to, like Joe said, the aches and pains and it's not as easy when you go for your walk now and your muscles ache and everything. And it's like I just want to feel good. And you know, there are things you know I just had blood work done at the doctor numbers that aren't healthy right now and I need to get them down to a better level, and that for me entails, you know, losing some more weight, and it's so. It's not about vanity, health too, and how you want to feel as you get older, how I want to feel as I get older and I think again that whole vanity word.
Speaker 1:
it's vanity is when you're doing it because you're worried about what other people are going to think about other people to say, but when you are generally doing it for you because it makes you feel good, it makes you happier, it brings you more joy.
Speaker 1:
That's the most important part, and I think we all need to, in this journey, get back to that place where what brings me joy, what makes me feel good?
Speaker 1:
I think we all know innately, when we're not being who we want to be, whether we're looking the way we really want to look, we're feeling the way we want to feel like we can be as the I think human beings, we have this amazing ability to bullshit the rest of the world and put on this front that we're so much better, happier, and that's one of the reasons we're doing this, because we want, let's just have an open, honest conversation about this stage of life and what we're dealing with and what's ahead, so that we can make the future better.
Speaker 1:
We don't have to be one of those individuals who just go, oh, it sucks, and you know the better days are gone, and you know, and just complaining. And I see that so often with the individuals who are like 30, like 30, 40 years older and I'm like, oh, so I want to be like that, like complaining about everything. Everything's an effort and it's like they're just trudging just to get through life. And I'm like you know you talk about the lady or you know the person in the gym being the oldest person in the gym. I don't know if I want to be the oldest person in the gym. I'll be the oldest person walking around the block.
Speaker 1:
Oh well but again, it's doing what makes you feel good, because it's your life, it's your journey and, like you have to be frank, like fuck what everybody else thinks.
Speaker 1:
Yeah because we spend so much time and energy worrying about what other people think and what other people say. You know there are people in listening, there's going. Oh, I don't care what other people think. And, like you know, you might want to be like really, really honest with you, because are you driving a car, or do you live where you live, or you send the kids to a certain school because of what other people are going to think.
Speaker 1:
You know all these individuals and I've really made a conscious effort to get out of Facebook because you know everybody's putting up oh how wonderful this, and I did this and I did that and my kids did this and. I did that and it's like you're just getting one tenth of the real story. And I think it's wonderful when we celebrate great accomplishments.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Things we've done or things we've experienced or places when we go, but if that's all you're posting and that's all you're letting the world see and you're not being real, to me it's like it's not being authentic and being genuine. I think there's so many individuals. I think that's why we have such a crisis with people taking anti-anxiety medications anti-depressants, everything.
Speaker 1:
Mental health is, you know, is just going through the. It's crazy right now and we need to look at this right. We need to get back to the simple things, you know, the things that really bring us joy, and stop worrying about trying to impress everyone or everything or being the best at the best. And you know, it's just. It has to stop. Like it's creating more stress, which creates more disease and more problems emotionally, spiritually, physically, like we have to put an end to this because we're headed in a direction that is very dangerous if we don't make some changes.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and I like what you said about the simple things, because some things I feel get so complicated. You know, just for example, there's this woman that I follow on TikTok and she I've seen on TikTok. She claims that she like literally reversed her aging life. She got rid of all her wrinkles.
Speaker 2:
She's around my age, I think in her face is perfect and clear and no wrinkles and da-da-da, and that's wonderful that she did that you know, but like the routine she has is like there's like a million different face things and a million different supplements and this and that, and I'm like that's too much for me, I'd rather have the wrinkles. I'm like, hey, you know I have my simple skincare routine in the morning and at night and I'm happy with it. You know my simple makeup routine and I'm good Like I don't need all that stress to get rid of some wrinkles.
Speaker 1:
And I think that comes back to what we said earlier Are you doing it? Because, hey, I want to do it and it makes me feel better? And if your truth is doing that whole regimen, for however long, really brings you joy and makes you feel good, then that's awesome. But if it's not like that, it's like you know what no, it's not worth it.
Speaker 1:
If I need to have a couple of wrinkles, then you know I'm cool with that. You know it's kind of goes back to what I said earlier. Is that the perspective for men and women, I think, is very, very different. I think as men we care, but I don't think we care as much as women.
Speaker 2:
Well, because there's not as much judgment of men in the media and just in the world. Like women have to be perfect, like men don't Like. That's literally, I feel how it is.
Speaker 1:
No, I just agree with you, but I think it's something that we need to have. That conversation Like, okay, well, why is it? And you know, I think part of the reason is you know in the past who were the major gender that ran the marketing companies right. And so marketing companies are great at knowing and playing off people's fears and insecurities and their emotions to paint a picture, to make people do what the marketing companies want them to do.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
And I think where men just like I don't give a shit, like it's like, okay, I got a couple of each spots, all right, in my perfect world I get rid of them, but you know what? So what? Not a big fucking deal, right? Because it's just common at this stage where I think, you know, for some women it's like society, as you said, has been plagued Like what's wrong with you? Know why do you do that? And you can have wrinkles and you gotta do this and you gotta look that way, you gotta wear makeup and you gotta do that. And you know like how many people you know. I remember when I was younger, you know women that I used to, girls I used to work with, would come in to work without makeup and people like, oh my God, you look so different without your makeup and it was almost like, looking back now you could see how well, what's wrong with that.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
I'm not beautiful because I don't wear makeup and you can see the message. Yes, that's so true, and like not thinking about it then but thinking about now, like holy shit, like so is basic, like look, you look so much better with makeup on. Like I'm sure there's a lot of women who are listening to the saying that you've been told that and it's like wow. So basically saying, unless you wear makeup, you're not beautiful, you're not pretty, and I don't think most people that was their intention, but unconsciously, that's the message it's sending.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
And so when you hear that, or you see that, or you're told that and you gotta wear this to look beautiful, or you gotta say that to look beautiful, or you gotta drink this, you know it just subliminally sends these messages that you're not enough, that you need these external things to be beautiful. And that's coming from places of fear and insecurity.
Speaker 2:
And I have to say that I am at the age now and the point in my life where I can go out with no makeup and be okay, and it feels so good, because there was a time when I would never, you know, oh my God. But and one important thing that I wanted to add is that it's never too late. Like, if you're not happy with the way you look or the way you feel or anything that's going on in life, it's never too late to make changes. You know, I another woman, I'm on social media, a lot on Instagram.
Speaker 2:
On Instagram she's so cute, her name is she's like what is it? Granny Guns? And she is like in her late 60s and she enters bodybuilding competitions and most people would assume she's done it all her life, but she has not. Like, she started her weight loss journey in her mid 50s and didn't start the bodybuilding till like early to mid 60s, and now she's in her late 60s, I believe. So it's never too late. And I'm saying you have to go become a bodybuilder, and now that's not going to happen for me, but the point is that you know she wanted to take control of her life. If you read her story, and that's what she did, because that's what made her happy, and she's in a place she is now because of that, and she started in mid 50s. So I mean, come on, anybody could do anything they want if they put their mind to it and when you're ready for it, if you feel you want to be.
Speaker 1:
And I think that's so key is because you said is that's what worked for her? Yeah, I know Like, oh well, she did it. Look at how wonderful and happy she is. So now I've got to go. No, if that's not your, your heart calling me to do that, it might be something else. It might be taken. I'm in front of her, janelle, who's in her late 60s late 60s. Yeah, who's it phenomenal.
Speaker 2:
Oh my God, she looks better than me.
Speaker 1:
And she does like Zumba.
Speaker 2:
I want to be like her.
Speaker 1:
That just like her. Yeah because that's what her heart wants. So you know, if you're listening to this, don't feel you have to go do what somebody else is doing.
Speaker 1:
You know, call to do that like figure out what works you, what works for you, what brings you joy, what lights you up. Because when you can do it from that place, like Natalie was saying, it's like, okay, this is where I'm at, okay, I really I accept that I'm here, but I want to be there, right. And so what does that look like? And just figure it out. You'll figure it out. The universe will give you whatever you need. You'll read something, you'll hear something, you'll see something, somebody come along and mention something. You go, you're going to try that and then you do it. That's great and you'll feel so much energized, like today.
Speaker 1:
You know, I just started back on my fitness journey and today I woke up as one of those days where I don't want to go. And then the past couple of months I would have like effort, I'm just going to chill out and bed a little longer, but today I got to go because now I'm committed to getting back to that healthier state. So I accept where I'm at, but I no longer will tolerate where I'm at. So now I can go and make the changes, but I'll be doing it for me, and I think that's the thing is in this journey is really do it for you, because it's who you want to be and what you want to experience, and F what everybody else thinks.
Speaker 2:
Right and the biggest thing is there is nothing wrong with wanting to age gracefully because, as we said in the beginning, aging is a part of life. It's guaranteed. You're born, you are guaranteed to age, so just do it gracefully and however that is for you and whatever makes you feel happiness and joy and that's how you wanna embrace it.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and it's like it's interesting that you're saying that. As you were talking, I was like you know what? We already have aged, right? We were infants and we were toddlers, and then we were young adults and then we were middle-aged and then we were done Right. So we've already been down this road where we've been aging, but now when we get to this point Now, all of a sudden, it's like uh-oh.
Speaker 1:
Right now, all of a sudden, it's a problem because I think we start seeing and experiencing things in different ways than when we were younger, things that we didn't really have to deal with or accept. So now they're becoming like almost like problems, where I see them as challenges and opportunities, and I think, if we can learn that we've been getting older our whole age- Our whole life.
Speaker 1:
We've been aging and so this is just a different stage of aging. But now what can we do here to experience the joy, the fulfillment, the love, the life that we truly desire? And I believe we've created that.
Speaker 2:
I'm just laughing because remember when you were like 15 and you couldn't wait to be an adult. Now it's like, hmm, I might rethink that that's true.
Speaker 1:
All right. So before we wrap it up, anything else you wanna say.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, no, just as I said before, just embrace the aging process, however that may look for you, and if you're having challenges and you're stuck and just reach out to us, we could maybe guide you in the right direction or kind of help you along in your journey. You could always reach out to us. We have all our information in the podcast description or emails and social media and everything, so we're always around.
Speaker 1:
And the biggest thing is that just take some time and say where are you on this journey, like are you at the beginning of the aging process, according to the world? Are you like kind of midway through, or you've been further down the road? And where are you at? Like? Are you truly happy? Are you fulfilled, or are you been fighting it, you've been resisting it? Was it take for you to get to a place of acceptance? And, more importantly, where do you wanna be five years from now, to start planning, cause that five years is coming, whether you plan for it or?
Speaker 1:
not. So if you can start seeing that, you know what and that's kind of how I look at it I'm head down the road where I don't really feel good physically, so I need to make some changes. Like you accept it, you embrace it, but then decide okay, what changes do you wanna make? So take that time and see where you're at and then let us know, Cause we'd love to know exactly where you're at on your journey.