Unlocking the Secrets to Living Your Best Life after 50

As we kick off the new year we found ourselves contemplating the challenges and experiences that the midlife stage often presents.

In this episode we have an honest and unfiltered discussion of the midlife voyage.

Whether you're juggling the roles of caregiver to your parents,  supporting your adult children or you're pondering over personal health and life's big shifts, we've got you covered. This week, we affirm that the midlife chronicle is not a universal fit, but rather a personal quest for meaning amidst the waves of transformation.

Who said growth and reinvention have an expiration date? Not us, and certainly not the octogenarian who, at 65, decided to pump iron and redefine fitness in her golden years.

 Our latest chat is a testament to the power of your beliefs and how they shape your internal dialogue, either propelling you toward new horizons or keeping you stuck in old patterns.

We're dishing out personal tales of resilience and responsibility, including  Joe's  recent encounter with COVID to underline how our choices forge the path we tread, not the excuses we muster.

As we raise our glasses to the new year, we invite you to join us in a toast to the pursuit of authenticity and intentional living. 

 So, let's clink to the art of thriving in midlife and beyond, celebrating each step of this wild, wonderful journey with a blend of grace and tenacity. Stay tuned for the upcoming episodes where we'll continue to unfurl the narrative that life's brilliance doesn't dim after 50—it simply evolves.

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Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.

You can also send us a DM and follow us on Instagram @the.lovementors or reach out in our Facebook Group - Manifesting Love in Midlife. We can also be found on YouTube - @JoeandNat.

We always love to hear from you! Be Blessed!

Transcript

Joe: 0:02

This is Joe.

Nat: 0:03

And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.

Joe: 0:15

And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.

Nat: 0:26

So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet.

Joe: 0:36

Hello everyone, it's Joe.

Nat: 0:38

And it's Nat. Welcome back to another episode of Getting Better With Age, our first episode of the New Year.

Joe: 0:44

Yes, happy New Year everyone.

Nat: 0:45

Happy New Year 2024. So I'm asked Joe, how's he doing today?

Joe: 0:51

Oh, I'm wonderful. What an appropriate name for a podcast Getting Better With Age when right now I feel like S-H-I-T. What a way to start off the New Year For those of you listening. I apologize if I sound a little raspy. You may hear a cough and I apologize but I'm gonna do my best. But I've got the vid. I made fun of Natalie a couple of weeks ago and what goes around comes around. I'd be careful, so I guess Karma.

Nat: 1:14

And he got it worse than me, oh man, way worse than me.

Joe: 1:17

Funny, this is the second time I had it. What two years ago?

Nat: 1:19

Two years ago, yeah.

Joe: 1:20

And, like there, I barely even knew I had anything. And this one like it's kicking my butt. But what are you going to do? This is life. You deal with it, you go on. You do everything you can to work with the healing powers of your body, as God created it to do what it's designed to do. And we go from there, but then stop us from doing our first podcast of the year.

Nat: 1:40

So did not. Well, just yeah, I'm going to defer. Almost did, but it didn't.

Joe: 1:44

I'm going to defer to you and let you lead the way today.

Nat: 1:47

I will lead the way. This is the year of me, anyway, so that mean you're leaving me. No, I'm not Okay.

Joe: 1:56

Just checking.

Nat: 1:58

Just prioritizing myself for once. So yeah, let's talk about midlife. I found that once I hit midlife what is midlife, I don't know Late 40s, 50, 50 and above.

Joe: 2:14

Depends on how long you live. You live again. You lived at 30.

Nat: 2:17

15 anyway, you know it's a very challenging time, but it also could be a very rewarding time. And it's also a very confusing time, I feel there's. There's a lot of things going on. You're dealing with aging parents. You're still some of us are still dealing with teenagers and young adults in the house. You're dealing with your own health, your own physiological changes, and it can get you know where you are in life, with your career, with your passions, whatever, and it can get very overwhelming and it's like, okay, where am I? What do I want from my life moving forward? Do you know what I mean?

Joe: 3:09

No, and I think you're, as you were saying that was kind of coming up is that we're really good at trying to label things, and I think we're. You know we very often we generalize like midlife, midlife can be different for everyone, right? If you know, some people may have had kids earlier and they're saying, you know, dealing with teenagers, my kids are in their thirties, they're still living at home and you know it's impacting my ability to have freedom, so it's really different for everyone. But I think the goal is to really decide what do you want it to be? Because life is going to happen, yeah, right, and so, quote unquote, midlife is going to happen.

Joe: 3:47

And so, as you go through life, there are changes that become common for individuals at midlife. You know whether it's dealing with parents, dealing with, you know, physiological changes, hormonal changes, societal changes, changes within the family dynamic elderly parents, kids growing and getting more independent or becoming less. So there are inherent challenges that most people experience in midlife which are different than earlier times in their life. But I think it's really learning to embrace these challenges and see them as opportunities to grow and become clear on what we want to create, because life is going to do what life is going to do Like you're going to get COVID and it's going to kick your ass but how you respond to it and what you do in the face of the adversity and the challenges whether it's midlife or any other stage of life I think really determines the happiness and joy you experience in life.

Joe: 4:46

And I think so often that we look for external things to be a certain way. It's almost like when life lines up according to our beliefs or expectations, then life is wonderful. But when it doesn't, then we become anxious, we become stressed, we become depressed and just realizing they're just different stages of life that we're going to have to deal with. But how do we embrace them, how do we deal and come out on the other side really experiencing more joy, more happiness, more inner peace, whatever it may be, and I think that's such an individual thing.

Nat: 5:22

Right, and I think every stage of life has its own inherent challenges. But I kind of feel like midlife whether you have still younger kids, whether you have older kids, whether you have, you know, kids out of the house, whatever, whether you're you have aging parents, whether your parents are gone Like midlife is. There are so many different aspects of midlife and I think the biggest thing is and you just said it before about using it as an opportunity to grow, and I feel like that sometimes you feel like, when you hit a certain age, that it's just just going to be this way for the rest of my life. I've been this way for 50 years. What makes me think it's going to change?

Nat: 6:09

And number one, that's the purpose of this podcast. And number two, it's yes, you can always change Like. You can always change. You can always grow. There's no limit to. You don't have to stop at any age. As a matter of fact, I just saw something the other day. There was this woman who was she was 80, oh, she was 80 years old and she was doing pull-ups at the gym and like incredible, like I can't do that, I don't know many people who can and I was reading her story and she started her fitness journey at 65. Now she's 80 doing pull-ups. So you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. There's no excuses. You can always flourish and you can always grow, no matter what age. And just because you hit a certain age does not mean that you're dying. Because one thing we always say if you're not growing, you're dying. So if you're not growing internally, you know what's going to happen next Nothing. Nothing's going to get better, nothing's going to change, and then you die.

Joe: 7:22

You know, it's funny, as you said, that there was a couple things as you were talking coming up. The first thing is like this stage of life often feels like a Rocky movie where you're just getting hit left and right.

Nat: 7:34

Oh yeah.

Joe: 7:34

Right and you stumble and you get back up and I think that's just like you said, at this stage, there are just so many things that happen where you're just taking it on the chin and then you're getting up, you're taking it on the chin, but that's just. That's just what apropos for this stage of life. But I think the key is like, if you look at that, that woman I think her name is Granny Gunn, so isn't that?

Nat: 7:53

No, this is actually somebody different.

Joe: 7:55

Oh.

Nat: 7:55

OK, she's another one. Yes, ok, this is another woman.

Joe: 7:57

OK. So like there's someone at 65 said you know what? I have the power to be healthier, to be stronger, to be more fit, and there's something within her that says I'm going to go do it and she commits to doing it. Now some people will will listen to that and watch and become really inspired by that and other other individuals is like well, that's not just not me, she doesn't have the genes that I have and you know she doesn't understand and she wasn't loved the way I was in love as a child. That like they'll make up some excuses for that. And I think that's what's really important is to look at what you believe, because the more I go on my journey, the more I realize how important our beliefs really are.

Nat: 8:41

Absolutely.

Joe: 8:42

Because you know, I think it was Henry Ford and said whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right. And I think when you see someone like that going, hey, she did it, why can't I? And other individuals goes, yes, she did it, but I'm not like her, or she's not like me, or she doesn't have my challenges, and it's like that's such bullshit you know we all have. There is not a human, you know, it's somewhere along the line I heard. Life is undefeated and there isn't a person walking this planet who hasn't gotten their ass kicked and it's experienced some kind of adverse tragedy or some serious adversity multiple times in their life. But the difference between the winners and the winers is the winners go OK, this is life, what do I got to do? And they take control of their life, they focus on what they want, where I think those individuals who don't will come up with all the reasons and all the excuses of why they can't or why they won't, or why it's too difficult, or why it's the president's fault, or like there's so many. And I think as a society we very often have a victim mentality, like it's not my fault.

Joe: 9:55

Like you know you talked about this is the second time I had COVID. First time was like it was a breeze. I was still exercise, I was living my life. The only reason I knew is because I tested positive, because our son tested positive and we all kind of did the rounds. But this time it's kicking my ass and I'm like why? Because I'm like 30 pounds overweight. You know, from the last time I hadn't been eating well the last year, and so my level of health and fitness and my bodies, my immune response was much lower. So it's not a coincidence, nothing to do with my age.

Nat: 10:29

No, it's not at all.

Joe: 10:30

It had to do with my choices and decisions over the last year, year and a half, and I take full responsibility for it. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not blaming COVID, I'm not blaming the bad, I'm not blaming anybody or anything. I think that's so important. If you're going to get better with age, you got to start with taking responsibility, and that doesn't mean beating yourself up. I see so many individuals who are so hard on themselves. You know I should know better. You know my mother is in her 80s and I should have done this, I should have done that. And I'm like did you do the best you could with what you had at that moment? Yeah Well, then let it go, but learn from it. Don't repeat the same mistake. You know I say you got to give yourself permission to suck.

Nat: 11:11

Yeah.

Joe: 11:14

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual. Let me take over here.

Nat: 11:22

Yeah, actually, you know, and a lot of people do that, like Joe said, I should have done this, I should have done that, and Tony Robbins used to say we were at one of the seminars. He's like you should all over yourself. And that's not going to change anything, because you can't change the past. You can only change moving forward and learning from. Well, I should have done it to. Okay. Well, what am I going to do different next time? I think that's the key and, you know, not being so hard on yourself and knowing that there's still room to make changes, there's still room to grow, there's still room to be better, and there's no excuses.

Joe: 11:57

Yeah, you know one of the things that you're saying that that really fascinates me. So many individuals go through life like completely unconscious. They just go through life thinking life is about going to work, getting a job, buying a house, having kids, going on vacation twice a year and just like literally treading water and surviving, and it's like nobody says the time. Is this what life is really about? Like there has to be. You know, I'm a big believer in common sense, you know, and just looking at, does that really make sense? Like I remember going to Catholic school and it's like you know what, if you're a good person but you eat a hot dog on Friday, you got to go to confession, because if you don't make it to confession and you die, you're going to go to hell. And I'm like wait a minute.

Joe: 12:45

I could be a great person. But if I'm really hungry on a Friday in Lent and there's nothing available but I eat a hot dog, now all of a sudden I'm a sinner, like that just doesn't make sense. And is that really? You know the God? This is supposed to be unconditional loving. Well, you know what, joe? Look, you were really good dude, you know you did great, but you know what? You had, that hot dog on Friday. Sorry, can't let you in.

Joe: 13:16

You're going to go say hello to Lucifer and hang out with him and I'm like come on, and I think somebody has just go through life. Go through life completely unconscious and not really looking at things and then believing a lot of things that were that we're seeing and being told. It blows my mind especially go back to COVID and I guess, because I was in the health field before and understanding health and viruses and things like, like a lot of things that we're saying just didn't make sense and a lot about immunity. And you know, in the back and I'm pro, choice, like you know, is your body do what you want to do, based on making an educated decision, but don't do things because you're told. And I think a lot of what's coming out now is people going well, wait a minute, all this stuff is coming out now. We weren't told this. And I'm like, yeah, that's where you got. You got to really look at things and take a step back and kind of I don't say, just do your homework, just pay attention. Like, listen to your heart, listen to your gut. Does it make sense? And don't say it makes sense just because somebody told you that you know and I see a lot of people living living their lives that way Well, this is what I was told.

Joe: 14:31

I had a conversation with someone last night and it's like this is the way I was raised. I'm like, ok, well, do you believe that? Like, what's your truth? There are a lot of things that I was taught when I was raised. I was like that didn't make sense then and it definitely doesn't make sense now, and I think that's always been. My philosophy is that this is my life. I get to decide what works for me and even if I screw up, I can go. You know what it was my screw up and I can take ownership of it and I can usually do my best to learn from it. So it takes me a lot longer, but that's the goal. And so you talked about shitting all over yourself what?

Joe: 15:09

good is that, like, the past is over.

Nat: 15:11

Right, Like let's go of it.

Joe: 15:13

I see so many people carrying their past and this happened to me when I was four years old and, yeah, there's some horrible things that happen in people's lives. We're not dismissing that.

Nat: 15:24

No, not at all.

Joe: 15:25

But when you're carrying around that stuff and if there's something there that has really traumatized you and affected you and your ability to live your life, then go get help, Go seek someone or go find someone who struggled with whatever you're struggling with. That's the beautiful part that, no matter what you may be dealing with at this stage, there's been multiple people who've gone through it especially. Just go to Google and just put in, you know.

Joe: 15:51

Yeah, Go on Instagram and find someone you know we're struggling with this and there are plenty of resources in the world.

Nat: 16:00

Yeah, and I kind of just lost my train of thought for a minute. But you had said something before about just kind of going through the motions and going to school and getting married and buying a house and having kids and not that there's anything wrong with that, because that's what we've done, but it's doing it because that's what you wanted. You know, I truly in my heart wanted to be married and have children. I wanted someone to share my life with. I wanted to raise children, to go out in this world and do great things, and as long as you're doing something from your heart and whatever brings you joy, that's great.

Nat: 16:50

But when you're just doing something and you're going through the motions and you're, you know this is just what I'm supposed to do. You know, so many women end up divorced in midlife because they got married, because that's what they were supposed to do, not because this was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, not because this is what I wanted in my heart. This is just what I was supposed to do. So this is the person I'm with, this is the person I'm going to marry and again ended up in divorced, and we work with a lot of divorced women in midlife, and that's what we've seen. So it's really about doing what is true to yourself and what's in your heart and what you really want for yourself.

Joe: 17:34

Yeah, and at the end of the day, it's your life. You get to decide. I always say every one of us who are born are going to get to the end of our life and we're going to have a moment where we're about ready to make our transition and we're going to look over our life and I think we're either going to dial with a smile on our face and a full and graceful heart, we're going to have some regrets. I'm a big believer in having regrets and that doesn't mean that you did something and it didn't work out, but it's like you did it. It was your choice, your decision based on that moment, and I think that's what this life is being conscious enough to go OK, what are the choices and decisions that I make? That year, year and a half, ryan neglected my health. I knew what I was doing, but it lost importance due to other things that I was focusing on taking care of you.

Joe: 18:28

You broke your arms and you going through your recovery and all that, and I kind of just put myself on the back burner to do business stuff and all that.

Nat: 18:37

And that happens. A lot of people do that. They put themselves on the back burner, and I take full responsibility.

Joe: 18:41

There's no blame, it's just the reality of it. And I do it again. But now it's like, ok, now I have to make some changes. And you know you, before the holidays, right after Christmas, I'm like, okay, I'm making changes. Right, I'm not waiting to the new year, okay, and he did, they have to Christmas. Okay, back to exercise and get my routine, all that, and then January 1st or was it the second?

Joe: 19:05

I test second you know it doesn't. You know it's like okay, well, you may have had plans, but we're gonna set your back a little bit right, man makes plans, god laughs and and that's okay.

Joe: 19:15

So you just again, you just embrace it, you see it for what it is, you face it head on and you go okay, what can I do in the face of this? And I'm, you know, I now understand I've always understood this, especially going back to my chiropractic days why men don't have babies oh geez, there'd be no population in this world because the first guy would have done it and he would have done.

Joe: 19:41

It hurts, it's incredible, it's not worth it and all the other guys are. That's good enough for me and all the women. Oh yes, it was painful, but it was such a beautiful experience and guys are like no, dude, don't. Guys are women like I am the worst patient in the world, so that's what you know me. When I'm sick, it's like I'm shutting everything down. I'm going to bed and I'm gonna rest and allow my body to recover because I absolutely the test not feeling well, like I know as a woman. You're like dude, I'm freaking both my arms.

Nat: 20:14

I was still doing things. You're caught now. I was typing on the computer like you're coughing, you know you got.

Joe: 20:22

You got some sweats, like what's the big deal? And I'm like no, you don't understand, like I don't feel horrible. But that's exactly so. All you women out there total props to you, know you being the stronger species and that's why I believe God chose you, that baby and I'm too my own horn, because I did have three kids with no drugs no

Joe: 20:41

epidurals nothing absolutely, but you know so there is a reason for that. But I think you know to circle around back around, for the premise of this, this episode, is that you know it's a new year. Yes, you know, we did this with our clients this week, is that? Look, where do you want to be on December 31st?

Joe: 21:02

I think that's our question yeah you know, and you'll screw this new year's resolution crap yeah, no resolution still makes, make a commitment like decide, take some time and go where do you want to be in December 31st, because you know where you are now right, so you know what area maybe it's your health you're struggling with. Maybe it's your finances, maybe it's your relationship you're not in a relationship or maybe you aren't a relationship and you know it's, you know it's a toilet bowl relationship.

Joe: 21:31

You feel like crap but you're just afraid to leave, whatever it may be. Where do you want to be on December 31st 2024, as you ring in the new year and decide, like kind of set that destination and then start asking yourself, what do I need to change, what do I need to do differently to make that reality come true?

Nat: 21:53

yeah, exactly, and that's, you know, getting better with age. That's what we're here for. That's why we started this podcast. And listen, this is a new year of episodes, a new year of getting better with age, and we're gonna we're gonna have a lot more guests on the podcast this year to talk about all areas of midlife and how you can prove different areas of your life, and we would love it if you would really share this podcast with your friends, your family, whoever you think can benefit from it, whoever you think would resonate with it, because we want to spread the word and we want people to know that, yes, life doesn't end at 50. You could get better with age, that's it absolutely all right.

Joe: 22:34

We love and appreciate you're. I'm going back to bed, he's going to bed.

Nat: 22:36

All right, we'll see you next week. All right, bye.