Navigating Menopause: A Conversation You Need to Hear

When was the last time you had an open conversation about menopause, its mysteries, and how it ripples through every aspect of life and love? Joe and I (Nat), peel back the curtain on this transformative experience, weaving personal insights with the often unspoken challenges it presents in relationships, intimacy, and self-perception. With a dash of candidness and a dose of support, we invite you to join us in unraveling the complexities of menopause and its significant impact not only on women but on their partners as well.

Striding through the fog of misinformation, I share my own menopausal journey since 2019, shedding light on symptoms that go far beyond the occasional hot flash. We discuss the biological shifts that come with the cessation of menstruation, such as joint pain and cognitive changes, underscoring the importance of proactive health management. Together, we explore the potential upsides of hormone replacement therapy and the empowering act of personal research, all in the pursuit of guiding you toward making informed decisions about your health and embracing the menopause transition with grace and informed confidence.

Navigating the healthcare maze can be daunting, especially with the gaps in menopause education that we highlight in this episode. From the minimal training medical professionals receive to the controversies surrounding hormone therapy, we dissect the challenges and advocate for specialized care. We wrap up with an invitation to share and seek knowledge, to be the ally someone might need on their path to understanding and optimizing their health during menopause. Step into our circle, where we don't just talk about well-being, we take action to live it fully and help you do the same.

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Feel free to contact us with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at Joe@thelovementors.com or Natalie@thelovementors.com.

You can also send us a DM and follow us on Instagram @the.lovementors or reach out in our Facebook Group - Manifesting Love in Midlife. We can also be found on YouTube - @JoeandNat.

We always love to hear from you! Be Blessed!

Transcript

Joe: 0:02

This is Joe.

Natalie: 0:03

And this is Nat and you're listening to the Getting Better With Age podcast to show that helps you navigate midlife challenges and turn them into opportunities to grow and evolve into a happier, healthier and more empowered you.

Joe: 0:15

And remember, getting older doesn't mean that the best years have to be behind you. We believe, like a fine wine, you and your life can get better with age, and we're here to show you exactly how to do that.

Natalie: 0:26

So grab a glass of vino, kick off your shoes and join us in discovering how to make the next chapter of your life the best one yet.

Joe: 0:36

Hello everyone, it's Joe.

Natalie: 0:38

And it's Nat. Welcome back to Getting Better With Age. How you doing, Joe.

Joe: 0:43

What up, wifey? Oh, I'm feeling so much better. I think I'm like 95% over the bid. Just got a little negging coffee to make here if you're listening to this. But so grateful because the first time I had it, two years ago, it was nothing. Yeah, my life didn't change at all. This one it like kicked my ass, but I'm grateful to be feeling better and be spending time with you talking about this really really important topic.

Natalie: 1:10

Yes. So today I want to talk about something that I feel nobody talks about, and it's menopause, and I hear a lot about it because I follow certain people on Instagram and, because of the algorithm, my feed is full of that, right.

Joe: 1:31

Yeah, I'm not getting any videos on it, yeah, so right.

Natalie: 1:34

So it's a whole algorithm thing. But in the mainstream, if you're not purposely searching for that and searching for information and wondering about it and what's going on, you're really not going to hear anything and it's very sad.

Joe: 1:56

So, for those of you who are listening, I'll give you some little insight into us and to this podcast. We're just two spiritual beings having a human existence, just like you, and we're going through this journey called life. So Sunday, natalie and I were talking to friends of ours in North Carolina and very dear friends, and we zoom a couple times a year, so it's kind of like the post-holiday zoom and we're talking and Natalie was talking to our friend and she was talking about menopause and all this stuff and I'm like, holy crap, like you know your shit, and I'm like you know what. This is the stuff that women need to hear, and not only that. As I was listening to you, I'm like you know what?

Joe: 2:37

Like women think that menopause is simply your issue and yes, it's what your body goes through. But your menopause affects us as men, of course, right, it affects our relationship, it affects how you interact with us, it affects your intimacy, it affects your libido, it affects your desire to be with a man, like it affects so much. And I thought, you know, when I said tonight, I said I think we should, you know, we should talk about this week because we did a little about it, you know, I guess maybe a year ago, I don't know a while, but I think right, I think it's a really, really important topic and you should share some of the things you know because, like you said, you've been doing your due diligence, your research, a lot of it because of what you've been experiencing.

Joe: 3:20

So, I think we need to start with that. Like you know what you've been experiencing as a woman, you know, in midlife- Right, so I'm going back to 2019.

Natalie: 3:34

It was around in the fall of 2019. I had turned 50 that winter and I started getting hot flashes and like that and then they persisted for a few months and, like you know, night sweats and I'd roll.

Joe: 3:49

You know Joe would roll over and bed and he'd be like oh my God, I'm sitting there, I'm like freezing and you know it's like she's running a marathon.

Natalie: 4:00

Anyway. So that's kind of where my journey started, and I think a lot of people believe a lot of women believe that that's what menopause is.

Joe: 4:12

It's the changes, right? I remember growing up saying oh yeah, I'm going through the changes my grandmother used to say that the changes yeah.

Natalie: 4:21

So I, as I said, many women believe that that's what menopause is Hot flashes, you get hot flashes, your period stops and then that's it. So smooth sailing.

Joe: 4:30

Oh, I think that's what women are told.

Natalie: 4:32

Right, right. So that's that's what the mainstream says. But there's so much more. So menopause is okay. So when women are born, they are born with so many eggs in their ovaries. Okay. Over time, those eggs get less and less and less. There's only a certain number, I don't know the number. That's why, as you get older, for some women it's harder to get pregnant, because you have less eggs. So there's less of a chance, right? Fertility becomes more of a problem.

Joe: 5:11

Right, if that egg doesn't get fertilized that month, you're SOL.

Natalie: 5:14

Right, and you know. That's why women freeze their eggs so they make sure they have it but anyway so that's what menopause is is when you have depleted all your eggs. Now somebody said once to explain it to men, it's no stupid.

Joe: 5:29

It's no different. Listen, this is amazing.

Natalie: 5:32

It's no different than if men turned 50 and their testicles shriveled up and died.

Joe: 5:37

Right oh yeah. Oh. I don't even think of that.

Natalie: 5:42

So that's really what it is.

Joe: 5:45

I'm having a vision of like prunes, just like you know, like being a dehydrator, the plum becomes, the prune becomes dehydrated. Oh, that wasn't a nice visualization.

Natalie: 5:56

But that's exactly what it would be like.

Joe: 5:59

Right, okay, that makes perfect sense.

Natalie: 6:01

And when that happens, of course, you lose your hormones. You have no more estrogen in your body, and estrogen is a great hormone for so many bodily functions. So the reason why we get half lashes is because it affects your vasomotor, whatever.

Joe: 6:22

One of those systems.

Natalie: 6:24

That's why you get the half lashes. But it also, having estrogen in your body, is good for inflammation. When you lose your estrogen you you create there's more inflammation in your body, which is why you have joint pain and it's called actually it's called musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause and that's when you have your joints hurt, your arthritis. So many women get women get frozen shoulder in menopause and nobody like it's never a connection right.

Joe: 7:01

And not to stop you, but I love that you said that because, again, this is that myth that, as you get older, these are just the changes that you have to accept and what you're learning and what we're learning on this journey is no, you don't have to accept that your life has to suck and have to be all downhill once you hit midlife, that there are things you can do, things you can learn, things you can change to get healthier, to get through menopause, to have a better life in every way.

Natalie: 7:31

Right, and it affects so many other systems of the body. Many women get brain fog and, as I said, the arthritis. Well, the aches and pains, insomnia, metabolic changes. How many of you never had a problem losing weight? You worked out, you always felt good and then all of a sudden, bam, you hit a wall. You started gaining weight. Women gained belly fat and menopause. So there's like so many. The brain fog is, for me was scary because my mother had Alzheimer's, had Alzheimer's, and so it's like well, wait a minute, what's this? And there's so much research out there about the benefits of hormone replacement therapy and that's something that you need to research yourself. I'm not an expert. I cannot tell you what or what not to do. Do your research.

Joe: 8:23

Right and that's important. You know, one thing I learned I was a chiropractor for 20 years is that the best doctor for you is you, like. You have to learn about your body, you have to learn to listen to your body, you have to learn to trust your body and then you have to learn how to take the actions that will maximize your health. That's when you work with educated health professionals who can support you, who can assist you, who can guide you. But I remember when I used to come into my office, when people used to come to my office and it was like you know what fix me? And I'm like look, I can do a great job in here, but if you go out and you keep doing the things that bring you in here, nothing's going into change. You'll feel better for a little while and then you'll be right back here.

Joe: 9:08

And I think it's learning in life to take responsibility for our lives, for our health, for our wellbeing that Altley puts us on this path, to this journey, to Altley discover. Hey, you know what this menopause thing doesn't have to be a death sentence. There are things I can do. There are things I can learn to get estrogen back in my body to get my libido back to all these things that will help you live the life that you truly want.

Natalie: 9:33

Right now. Here's the one challenge. With that You're absolutely right and that's how it quote unquote should be. The problem is there are not many medical professionals who understand menopause. I recently found out that to become an OBGYN sorry OBGYN there's four years of training. Right Of that four years of training. Do you know how much menopause education they get? Eight hours, that's it. Like that's nothing. Like you're totally dismissing a huge segment of the population. Like that can't be. So you can go to your OBGYN and you can say this is what I'm feeling, and many of them just dismiss you. Oh, it's just part of life, get over it. Like seriously, and that is not right. Like they have to start educating themselves. There has to be changes in the medical field with this, and so you can't just go to any doctor with these problems because they're not gonna know what to do.

Joe: 10:42

And just to touch on this briefly, you have to understand we don't have a healthcare system, we have a sickness care system. We have a system that's designed is for you to get sick and basically there are two options we can give you some pills to make you feel better, to balance your chemistry, to make some physiological changes, or we can do surgery. And if you have a musculoskeletal problem, there's then the third option, which is physical therapy. So, if you really think about it, we have a sickness care system. You know, I remember when I was in chiropractic school we talked about nutrition. We were big because we were holistic, we're into nutrition and we talked about, you know, the training that medical doctors and I think it was like four hours of nutrition. This was back then.

Joe: 11:24

I don't know what it is now, but you know it's like. Here's something that's vital. It's the food you're putting in your body and they're getting four hours. But you know pharmacology, you know what drugs interact and how to prescribe this. For that they got tons and tons of hours. And again, this is not a judgment, it's just shining light on how things really work. But if you go into your doctor and go, okay, well, he's a doctor, she's a doctor, she must know everything. No, she doesn't. She was trained just like a mechanic. And just like they update automobiles, they update what they're learning about the body. And the human body is always not the human body is changing, but they're constantly discovering different things. And you also have to look at the people behind. Who's not doing the research?

Natalie: 12:10

Right.

Joe: 12:11

You know, because there's a lot of money in pills, potions and lotions.

Natalie: 12:14

Yeah, and there was something that came out back in 2000. It was called the Women's Health Initiative and this it was this whole research study and you could look it up and it determined that hormone replacement therapy causes cancer, strokes like all these bad things. So back in 2000, all the women that were approaching menopause stopped taking it or weren't prescribed it because of this initiative. Now, in the more recently it's come out that that was like a big jumbled mess and nothing about it is true anymore.

Joe: 12:58

I'd like to see who is doing that research and making these statements that it doesn't work. It causes all that Because, if you follow the money trail, there are people who had a vested interest in people not taking hormonal replacement therapy, because what they were preaching and what they were selling was very profitable.

Natalie: 13:16

Yeah, and again, I don't know. You know, I actually remember back then I remember hearing I didn't know it was the Women's Health Initiative. I just remember hearing that, oh my God, hormone replacement therapy causes strokes, and you know, in this, and that I'm like, oh my God, I'm not gonna take that one on 50. So that's what we were, you know, that's what we knew, and I remember my mother stopped taking it and she developed Alzheimer's. And there's a lot, there's studies that show that hormone replacement therapy will, could help. You know that. You know, again, it's not 100% concrete, but it doesn't matter. It's just really sad. It's like and I was saying before about the doctors, so a lot of doctors still believe that this is the problem, Like you can't be on this because it's bad for you, when it's really not. And again, is it good for every woman? No, that's why you have to find a healthcare professional that specializes in it. I know it's very hard to do, but there is.

Joe: 14:24

They're out there.

Natalie: 14:25

There is an organization called the North American Menopause Society, nams, n-a-m-s, and they have, you know, a list of doctors.

Joe: 14:35

The phone network.

Natalie: 14:36

Yeah, that do specialize in menopause and hormones and everything. And you know it's a very intricate road because so many women get to a lot of dead ends. And it's really, really sad that we can't get the help we need Now. Unfortunate, because my doctor was a male.

Joe: 15:01

See that we're not all dead.

Natalie: 15:04

You know, has helped me, you know, with that. He was open to speaking to me and to doing what had to be done for me, you know, to help me on this journey. But there's not many and it's really sad and that's why there needs to be a bigger, bigger conversation.

Natalie: 15:23

So if you just start following one menopause expert just on Instagram, it's going to blow up your feed and you'll know who the experts from the charlatans because they're. I have to say there really aren't many charlatans right now that I can see in that field Other than well, no, the ones are and I don't want to say they're charlatans because they really believe that what they're selling helps. You know there's a lot of people selling like supplements and everything, like probiotics and this and that you know to help with menopause, which they might help to a certain degree, but you cannot replace estrogen in your body with a probiotic, so you need to put back estrogen and the only way to do that is with estrogen estradiol. So it's not that. You know probiotics are very beneficial when you're menopause, so there's a lot of supplements that are very beneficial when you're menopause.

Natalie: 16:24

A lot of you know dietary changes. You need to make an anti-inflammatory diet, eat a lot of protein. You know you need omega-3s, you need vitamin. You know, for the bones that's the other thing. I didn't bring up the bones you know osteoporosis. This is all stuff that happens in at this age.

Joe: 16:47

You know, and I'm sorry, no, and I think it's important because you have to understand is your body is a system, of system. So you talk like there's a digestive system and so a healthy digestive system with probiotics will be beneficial, but, like you said, that isn't going to affect your hormonal system, right? So it's about understanding yes, you got to take care of one, but you got to take care of all, and if you want optimal health, you've got to understand how all these systems work. And work with a professional who says, ok, yes, I specialize in this system and then you can work with this system as well. So, you know, for those women out there who are saying you know, it's clear, you know your stuff, right? If you can give us one person that you've been following, that you believe, that you know, knows what they're talking about and is someone you can listen to and trust to kind of get you get some of this information to you to help you on your journey, who's the first person that comes to mind?

Natalie: 17:47

I'm actually going to say three.

Joe: 17:49

Okay.

Natalie: 17:49

There are three different areas. So Dr Mary Claire Haver is an OBGYN on Instagram and TikTok, who she really started me on this journey of learning and growing and researching and everything, and she's phenomenal. The other person is Dr Kelly Casperson. She wrote a book called you Are Not Broken and she's a Eurogynic College.

Joe: 18:13

I love that title.

Natalie: 18:14

Yeah, so she deals a lot with women and the libido and the vaginal dryness and so many other things. But she's another one to follow. And the third one who she's really good. Her name is Dr Vanda Wright WRIGHT.

Natalie: 18:30

She's an orthopedist and she works with women, with what I said before, the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause and, how you know, menopause affects different your joints and everything, and then your bones, and she really talks about how to keep your body strong during this time, because that's really, really important. So those are three people that I definitely recommend. I don't know them, they don't know me. The guys are going to listen to this podcast. It's price went to none, but I don't care, because I just want you to be educated and I want you to learn so you have the power to make the change that you need to make to feel better. And the thing is, yes, menopause is a natural thing that the body does, but that doesn't mean you have to live with the symptoms and the effects of it, because, look at it this way, getting sick, right, getting the flu, say, is natural, right.

Joe: 19:24

It's natural to get sick.

Natalie: 19:26

You get the flu. But what do you do when you get the flu? You do everything possible to get rid of it. You take Tylenol, you take my cough medicine, you do whatever you have to do, right? You take supplements, vitamin C, this and that. You do whatever because, yes, it's natural, but you don't want to feel that way. Well, it's the same thing with menopause. Yes, it's a natural system of the body. That's just what happens, why we were created that way.

Joe: 19:47

It's a natural thing. I have no idea. It's a normal aging process that does not mean you have to suffer.

Natalie: 19:53

And there are so many women who are suffering. 100% of women 100%, if you live long enough will go through menopause, yet right now, only 10% to 15% of women are actually being treated and helped with their symptoms, and you really want to start listening, because a lot of the things that you're going through right now could be that Awesome.

Joe: 20:21

So I think you did a great job. You nailed it. I think those women who are listening, who are going through menopause hopefully our prayer and intention is that this kind of enlightens you to that you don't. If you're suffering with any of these menopausal systems, that is not a death sentence. Things can change and things will change, but now you have to step up and do your work.

Natalie: 20:41

So any suggestions before no, one thing is just because you're going through menopause does not mean you're getting old. I think that's what a lot of people have that notion of I'm getting old, now you know I'm getting menopause. No, we're all about getting better with age. So what I suggest is start doing your research. Follow those three people that I mentioned. You will learn so much from them. That's the thing it just really advocate for yourself.

Joe: 21:10

Cool. So if you're listening to this and you're at this stage of your life, if you know another woman that you're related to, that you work with, that can benefit from this, please pass it along Because, again, this is literally about changing the quality of people's life, because your health is everything. If you don't have the state of health that you desire and you don't have the energy, you don't have the libido, you don't have the regulated body temperature, then it's not going to be as good as you were created to have. So please share this.

Natalie: 21:47

Yes, definitely, and you know, if you have any questions for me and if I can help steer you in the right direction, just you know, reach out, okay.

Joe: 21:57

All right, love and appreciate you We'll see you next time.