Acceptance - The Silent Battle of Solopreneurs

Ever found yourself at a crossroads, where your entrepreneurial spirit clashes with the deafening demands for attention in the market? I've been there, and in this heartfelt chat, we pull back the curtain on self-aware solopreneurship, wading through the challenges and joys of aligning with our true selves. Through reflective anecdotes and a revealing clip from a client's journey, we discuss the importance of embracing our natural inclinations and the transformative power of acceptance. This episode is a compass for those navigating their unique paths, as we venture into the essence of capturing your entrepreneurial spirit that's often clouded by blind spots and noise.

Our thirst for curiosity might just be the wellspring of innovation and drive within us, and this session dives into the elements that stoke that intrinsic motivation flame. I share an inspiring story of a Japanese family business that has stood the test of time, fueled by an unwavering dedication to mastery and the autonomy to forge their legacy. We wrap with an invitation to ponder your own motivators. What ignites your passion? How does your purpose shape your entrepreneurial venture? This episode is not just a conversation; it's a call to action to intertwine your intrinsic motivation with your distinctive talents and vision, setting forth on an odyssey of self-discovery and entrepreneurial growth.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey there, fellow explorers, welcome back to another episode of the Self Aware Solopreneur podcast. I want to tell you that this podcast is going to go through a slight change. It's not a rebrand, but it's going to have a more contextual, defined topics where it's more geared towards. If you are a solopreneur not just any solopreneur, but you're someone who has a level of expertise, you bring years and years of practice, knowledge in a certain area or skilled and versatile in so many different ways, that makes you unique, and there is an itch, the cry for this help, sometimes that I see that I don't know how to make sense of all this and how do I get to create something that captures my essence, so to speak. So those are some of the things that I will be talking about throughout the rest of the year.

Speaker 1: 1:11

If you are someone who maybe not so much dabbling side hustles, you're trying to figure out who you are. You're someone who has been down that road multiple times and you still can't quite put a finger on it, what it is that you truly desire to do and come across as and that can be my friend sometimes a hard thing to figure out on your own, and the more and more. I've been working with professionals with deep expertise in the last few years. I've noticed that it's something like when you are desperately looking for a pair of glasses, right, or you are looking for your purse, especially. You've got more than one thing going on in your life, right. You're not just running a business but, like I, am taking care of my two young boys and I have a full plate and it happens quite a bit where you're looking for your glasses or you're looking for your phone. The whole time you had it on mind. That's on autopilot. So that's where I come to think of it.

Speaker 1: 2:33

There's a lot of blind spots in our business, in our life, that we need someone else to trigger the right questions, and often I found that one of the hardest thing, especially today, when we are living in a world of every 30 seconds somebody wanting our attention, not just, not just our children, our family or relatives or friends. Not that we want to ignore them. We know that the people that matter to us. We want to give our attention to them, but then there's so many other attention that they need from us, right? Whether it's marketers, whether it's business owners, whether it's a community. We have to become that much grounded and intentional where we give our focus and attention to. So I'm really excited about today's episode because I want to have this hard to hard chat with you about something that's been on my mind lately.

Speaker 1: 3:37

So let's take a quick trip down memory lane and revisit some of the topics we've covered in my recent episodes. And if those conversations about finding clarity in our energizing vision and tapping into your unique zone of genius if you haven't caught up in those episodes, don't worry, I've got you back. Just hit Rewind and give a listen when you get a chance. Now, if I'm being totally honest, upon reflection, I realized that I may have glossed over those episodes just a bit too quickly, and it's like when you're speed reading social media posts or through a book and you miss all the subtle nuances and hidden gems tucked between the lines. Yeah, totally guilty as charged, but hey, that's the beauty of the podcasting journey, right? I can't say that I've quite nailed this medium and I'm still learning and growing along with you, and sometimes that means taking a step back to truly appreciate the depth and richness of the topics we're exploring.

Speaker 1: 4:54

Speaking of depth, let's dive into something that's been again weighing on my mind lately the relentless pursuit of attention like we talked about. In today's noisy world. I don't know about you, but it often feels like we're drowning in a sea of distractions, desperately clinging to whatever life raft of validation floats our way. Last week I had a fascinating conversation with a client that's been echoing in my mind like a broken record. It got me thinking are we truly fighting for attention in the world of business, marketing and sales? Does everyone seem to be focused on grabbing and retaining attention? But what if there's something deeper at play? So I want to play a clip for you, and this is a clip that I asked, with permission from my client, that I would play for you. I want you to listen.

Speaker 2: 6:04

So here it goes. But you talk about acceptance too, and that's been a big, I don't need to deal with it. And then, as I've gone along, I'm like, oh, heck, yeah, I do, because it's first to see who you are. And at first I was like, oh, I'm being okay, this I list. And then I'm like, wait, or something actually less, it's more generalist again. And then I'm like, oh, dang it, I'm just going to have to work with that. It was constant accepting, this is it? It feels so natural that it's tricky, it sneaks up on you. And now everything is just like well, no wonder that makes sense. Now, my whole life is a case study when I'm going to be talking about how in the world is that possible?

Speaker 1: 6:45

Now, that you've heard it. This clip has been playing on loop in my mind, prompting me to ponder acceptance. Let's take a moment to absorb that share Now. Acceptance isn't always obvious. It often sneaks up on us when we least expect it. Sometimes it's a journey of constant realization, as seen in my clients experience right. They initially resist this idea for the need of acceptance until they can't deny it anymore. The tricky part is, acceptance isn't just about acknowledging who we are. It's about understanding. What feels natural to us might not be natural to others, and that's okay. It's about aligning ourselves with our vision and shedding anything that doesn't serve it.

Speaker 1: 7:44

One of the hardest things to dissect filter out the parts which ones do I really need to hone in? And the ones that do align. How do we determine the path that we're on is meant to be? And that exploration, that discovery in itself, is not something. I believe that you can't do that on your own. And if you do, yes, you might be able to take a lot of twists and turns and figure out that, okay, that's really it. But even if that's really it, I find that if you go back to your urgent story, there are patterns and themes that needs to be detected, where you might be so close to it that you can't really quite figure out how those patterns and themes are connected to the dots of your energizing vision. At least, that's what I'm finding as I'm working through this. Even in my own journey, I had to deal with somebody else who is not necessarily like I am where I have those glasses on, yet I'm looking for it the whole time. So, missed all this chaos.

Speaker 1: 9:02

How do we ensure that our message cuts through the noise and resonates with not just any audience, right? The type of specific audience that wants to go on a deeper level? That's the quest I'm on. I'm not here to please everyone. I'm not here to grab everyone's attention, because that would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack, right? Except instead of needle, we're searching for genuine connections and meaningful interactions, despite what you might see and we hear.

Speaker 1: 9:45

What comes to my mind as an example are musicians. If you think about musicians that come out in the mainstream media, they're not. You know, some of it might be you've never heard of. They are playing on the local streets, on local bars, and they're not in the quest of like. Okay, I'm gonna be Taylor Swift one day, or, you know, I'm gonna have the same fame and name. Some of them don't even know where they might end up. Yet there's something deeper motivation than of being known or to matter to someone. That goes on, whether it's the love for the music and the passion for the music that they have. But they're not on the journey of becoming famous when they first get started.

Speaker 1: 10:42

So I find that ironic when, as soloprenors tried to do this, thinking that, okay, I'm gonna have 10,000 followers, or I am doing this because I'm going to grow a certain amount, I find that not only detrimental to your wellbeing but eventually could backfire you if you're not careful about what that desire and hunger for attention can lead to. Going back to what I was talking about trying to find the needle in the haystack. You might get a lot of attention and there are times that you don't even want it. What do you do with all this attention? And that's where self-awareness comes into play. Like, could you stop talking about it? We've heard enough about this.

Speaker 1: 11:33

But here's the thing. It's important, because having the courage to speak our truths, even when it feels uncomfortable or downright scary I know I've been there multiple times, more than times I can count. The fear of being misunderstood or rejected can be paralyzing at times. So when we embrace those truths and, unapologetically, something magical happens, we create space for genuine connection, right? Well, it's like flipping a switch from seeking validation to offering value. And let me tell you, the difference is like night and day. We know it, but do we truly understand it? Do we truly model it in a way that others can feel it as well? And I think that's something that I'm observing my thoughts and actions and the words that I tend to use, like oh, I'm posting today or I'm doing this because I want to offer value. It's not about seeking validation. That flipping the switch can be difficult when seeking validation from our clients or prospects or audience, or anybody of that matter, that we understand and we believe we have.

Speaker 1: 13:01

Now let's talk about intrinsic motivation. You know that inner fire that drives us to pursue our passions and chase our dreams against all odds. I recently stumbled upon this concept while reading Steve Kotler's book the Art of Impossible, and it kind of blew my mind. According to Kotler, there are five key intrinsic drivers that fuel our pursuit of greatness Curiosity, passion, purpose, autonomy and mastery. Think of them as the secret sauce that transforms a mundane task into a sort of a thrilling adventure. So what is a curiosity? And you know by layman terms. You know, curiosity isn't being curious about something, but it is like a compass guiding us toward unexplored territories, and sometimes you don't know what's at the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 1: 14:11

Right, because you might be exploring this area of your career or embarking on something that is totally different, but I think that's the part where we can get stuck. It's what propels us to ask tough questions and seek out new experiences, even when the path ahead seems uncertain. It's a normal for people to seek certainty, and what I found is that the more I look for certainty, the less curious I got. Isn't that funny how it works. That's something to think about. And there's the passion, the burning desire to make a difference in the world. Sometimes I'll hear I don't care about legacy, or I'm not a huge person that is going to come and change the world, and maybe that's not you, and that's okay. But if you are someone who wants to make a difference, not necessarily in the world, but in somebody's life, right, some other people other than you to leave a lasting impact, then what is it that gets you out of bed in the morning with a spring in our step and a sparkle in our eye, ready to take on whatever challenge come your way. What is it? Kotler says passion alone isn't enough. We also need purpose, a deeper sense of meaning that transcends our individual desires and connects us to something greater than ourselves. It's what gives our actions direction and meaning, like a guiding star eliminating the path ahead. I will say that, working through this with in my own journey and with others, that you might be passionate about cooking or passionate about drawing or arts right, but is that enough to propel you forward? And so that's where you do need all these five intrinsic motivators. All right, what's next? Let's not forget autonomy, the freedom to chart our own course and pursue our dreams on our own terms. It's like being the captain of our own ship, navigating the turbulent waters of life with confidence and conviction. Last but not least, there's mastery, the relentless pursuit of excellence and the thrill of becoming exceptionally skilled at what we do.

Speaker 1: 16:52

There was an episode I was watching with somebody feed Phil. I don't know if you watch cooking shows, but this is one of the shows where I love sitting down with one of my boys, we watch cooking shows together. There is a scene where Phil goes to Japan. He visits a family owned restaurant that's been around for a thousand years. For a thousand years, imagine, think about that for a minute. Imagine a business lasting for a thousand years. It's been passed on and for generations and generations, and they've mastered making one thing which everybody comes to eat, and they will travel thousands and thousands and miles away to taste a very unique dessert on skewers.

Speaker 1: 17:47

When I watched that episode, I thought to myself wow, did they not get bored making the same thing? Or how do they keep their focus, how they keep their interest so focused in that one specific skill set? And there is a joke that he makes with the food critics and he goes. Well, we could use a little bit more specialization in the US, don't you think? Because we're all about let's make 40,000 brands and see which one will appeal to our customers. So I thought that was kind of really insightful and funny at the same time.

Speaker 1: 18:34

So this relentless pursuit of excellence and the thrill of becoming exceptionally skilled at what we do, it's what drive us to push past our limits and unlock our full potential, one small victory at a time. So, my fellow explorers, as we continue on this journey of self discovery and entrepreneurial growth, let's remember to harness the power of intrinsic motivation and align our actions with our energizing vision. Because when we do, there's no limit to what we can achieve together. Because I see that when I am working with someone who is not clear on their energizing vision, who is not clear with their zone of genius. There is this nagging feeling inside that keeps coming back to wanting to try this and that and compare and contrast and get lost in the whole maze of trying to stand out. And when you try to stand out.

Speaker 1: 19:53

Thanks for tuning in today. I truly appreciate you again listening to my podcast and, as a new podcaster, like I said, this is something that I've never even dreamed or thought of. If you asked me five or six years ago, I'd probably laugh at you. But knowing this, that the world is so much bigger than you and I, there is so much possibilities, and I believe that we're only we're only getting started. My friend, If you found value in this episode, I would love for you to take a moment, believe me, a review.

Speaker 1: 20:36

So I know that this is something that I need to expand on, because I would be creating additional resources on this, not just the energizing vision and zone of genius, but how does this all interconnect, live into your daily life and how you show up? So I would be very curious if there is one particular takeaway that you want to share. I'd love to hear it and you can always email. It's really easy. Hello at homeiraoctorcom, my first name, last name, dot com. So I look forward to hearing from you, my friend, and until then, have a great spring break. I know it is spring break for me with my children, so I'm going to be taking this week a little bit slow, but I enjoyed recording this episode a lot. So thank you for listening. Keep growing and shining your light for the world to see, and I will see you next time. Take care.