24 - Kobby PART ONE
Kobby: [00:00:00] that really kind of crystallized, what I want to do, for the rest of my life
Life Leaps Podcast: Welcome to Life Leaps Podcast. Hear inspiring stories of ordinary people who made extraordinary life changes. What drove them, what almost held them back. Insights for the rest of us considering life leaps big or small, because hearing someone else do it reminds us that we can too.
Happy Wednesday, everyone. So quick update. Last week, the tables turned and I was a guest on another podcast. Oh boy is right. And let me just say that. Doing these little solo life leaps episodes with Juan, where we mock interview each other about our leap in progress. Not the same as being the one actually officially interviewed by someone else.
it was the pockets of knowledge podcast with the fabulous Deseret Stanley last week, May 3rd. And we talked all about the origin of
this podcast. Common threads across these interviews and my own journey [00:01:00] and current life leap across the ocean. If you want to listen, I'll include a link in the show notes for this episode,
now, without further delay. This week we're with Kobi Osei. QC. Who after leaping to the us and achieving
what most of us would call a whole lot of outward success. Reach this moment. Where he stopped and asked himself Are these goals, all these things I achieved. Are they really true to me? Cabi took time off and really dug into which parts of his life made sense to him.
And which parts he seemed to be living for others. And in the end, he found out what really makes him tick. His leap will be a twofer two parts today. We'll hear how copies number one early days set the stage for later leaps and how he sees taking risks is kind of like a muscle.
Number two navigated the moments and there've been some big ones. When those around him didn't see his [00:02:00] vision or his potential. Plus an extremely insightful response we can all use in those situations. And number three, reached the point where he really started asking what's next with as. As usual, plenty of insights for the rest of us, considering that same question along the way.
the next week. We'll hear not only how Cabi answered that question, but how in the heck he got there
And as usual, you can find out more about Kabi and his journey in the show notes for this episode. Now here is Cali.
Kobby: I was born in Kamae in Ghana, in, 1982, early eighties.
and,in the eighties, economically, it was a difficult time for Ghana, but I was too young to realize it. but then in the nineties a lot of things opened up. So grew up with sort of nine nineties rap, nineties hip hop.love itjeans, Walkman, Nike sneakers, those were very priced items in high school.
Life Leaps Podcast: what about the JNCO jeans? Did they have the big, wide [00:03:00] leg? Jeans with the chains. Okay, all Yeah.
Kobby: Yeah, hip hop. Hip hop was very big. The influence of hip hop, although it was a delayed maybe we were probably three, four years behind the latest and greatest.
in the
Life Leaps Podcast: case of Jnco jeans, that was probably for the best, right?
Kobby: We eventually caught on,
Life Leaps Podcast: Kavi, you told me a story once.
Recently when we were, chatting before this interview and this story has stuck in my mind. And I told you that it would,you didn't come to the US until, I guess it was for college.
And in planning for that, you knew there wasn't a bunch of money on the table for you to do that, and you used to race after school to get ahold of your libraries, few s a t books, right? Like the American SATs, is that just stuck with me.
Kobby: Yeah. Yeah. after high school, there was about a year gap before you went into university, because the university professors had gone on a strike
So everyone was backed up by a [00:04:00] year. and it was beginning to be more common to go to college, abroad. but it was usually for, folks from wealthier parents who could afford, who could afford it. folks like me, our only shot was to get, a full scholarship.
my, my dad, Was a manager at the timber company, there was just no way, we could have afforded,the American college education system. and when I graduated from high school, my dad had lost his job. it was quite tight, financially,in the family.
and, but then the US Embassy had,a library, that had, college guidance books, s a t books. And,I didn't have the s a t books. We couldn't afford them. typically people with family members in the US would, get it shipped down, but I just didn't have that access.
and I lived about an hour and a half away from the library. So I had to get up very early in the morning, make sure that I got to the library by 7, 7 30 [00:05:00] because you had to line up and go through security. but then as soon as you went through security, you literally had to run to grab the few books available because, otherwise, you weren't gonna be able to study.
And so,did that for several months. And, where it was really dramatic was on the weekends. On the weekends, on Fridays, they allowed you to borrow the books and take them home and bring them back on Monday. So on, on Fridays you had to there early, like 7:00 AM and then you had to run, it was literally a sprint for knowledge, right?
you had to run and grab the books as quickly as you could, and, and then you were able to have it,for the weekend. but it, but I think that story,it does end well. and I was able to get a full scholarship, to an American liberal arts University.
so I think that was probably my first instance of grabbing life by the horns because the other pathway was I was gonna go to the local university and follow [00:06:00] what my, the path laid by my older siblings. and I was able to craft a different path.
Life Leaps Podcast: Kabi, what strikes me about that?
so many things, butWhen I first sought to interview you for this podcast, you have more recently, which of course we'll hear about, made this really extraordinary life leap. And it was only in talking to you about that leap that I really first learned and appreciated this very first leap that you took well before, right?
Like very young cavi a Yeah. so I just wanna hear, what do you think drove you even then to push out of that path?
like you're an 18 year old dude. Okay. It would've been very easy for you to not do that, I'm always curious about what, to the extent you can identify it, kind of pushed you to do this very different thing even in the first place
Kobby: Yeah, I would say, yeah. I would say,I think generally, I think that intrinsic is a stronger motivating force, and I would say that my mom has a very strong sense [00:07:00] of adventure. I think my dad is fairly conservative,but my mom has always been, when I hear her life story, she was always, traveling, trying to see different places.
and by the time I was in high school, my parents had divorced, but, perhaps uniquely with my mom, she had relocated from Ghana to Germany, after the divorce. And I think that was just a sense of, that she had intrinsically to always, see the world, always see what is beyond. So I've always had that since I was a kid.
there's a great sort of couple of lines from one of my favorite poet and,it, it goes to know what must not be known, right?
motivation to just know what, you normally wouldn't have known if you stayed on that particular path. Mm-hmm.and that, I found that poem later in life, but it's such, it's been such a good encapsulation of some of my sort of intrinsic desires.
Life Leaps Podcast: this early willingness to [00:08:00] push yourself and break free, which my guess is if you peeled back the onion even further, probably preceded those high school days, right? Like I'm sure that you could find patterns of that in you, sounds like it was your mom and something in you cuz you had siblings.
Yep. Who didn't leave Ghana and had the same mom as you. some magic combination.
Okay? Yep. so you get that scholarship and you go to the US you're going for the first time,
Kobby: yeah. Yeah. I arrive exactly two weeks before nine 11. and so I arrived at a very important inflection point,in America. And, it was my first time leaving Ghana, first time on an international flight. And, I got denied my visa the first time and by the time it got, I got the visa the second time, it was only a couple of weeks before school started and the flights were completely booked.
but my uncle worked at the airlines and he was able to,and this was Ghana Airways, so he was able [00:09:00] to get me a seat, a flight tendency. Which somehow I guess they sold, wow. Who knew,the, so I sat facing the other passengers, for sort of the nine hour flight, but, wow.
Sort of the whole process of being, getting here was all a little bit of an adventure. And I remember, so college was, in upstate New York. it's called St. Lawrence University, long history of, liberal arts, education. and it's about an eight hour drive from New York City.
And I remember going through lots of towns in upstate New York and really wondering like, why are they shooting these like cowboy movies, these western movies, right? Because I saw carriages and, people dressed. and later on I realized it was, Amish and Mennonites, right? But I, for a while I thought I was.
Driving through a movie set, this long movie set. Yeah. Like town up to town. of that. but then I think the sort of whole experience in college was just rich and remarkable. I think maybe, perhaps something that you've [00:10:00] seen, going through these interviews and getting to know people's stories is that one big leap really can set you up for future leaps become easier.
And one big successful leap, can really open sort of a world of adventures.
Life Leaps Podcast: But it was that first leap that made all the others, easier because you gained trust in yourself. You knew that you were gonna be fine. when you first came to the US and started that college experience.
I mean, were you scared? what are you thinking when you first get on that plane, when you
Kobby: I think I knew it was a life-changing experience.
and,there, there was part of it where,there, there's a certain feeling that is, close to fear, but it's not fear. But it's this sort of expectancy, right? Of what's going to come and you don't know what's going to come. but it's not fear of not wanting what is going to come to not come.
but it's actually an openness to [00:11:00] say, I don't know what's coming. So it feels like I'm afraid, but I know that I'm not, I, I want it to come. fear,
Life Leaps Podcast: but the good kind.
Kobby: Yeah. Like I, I think maybe we don't have a good word for it in English, but,it's that expectancy
And, I've always enjoyed, diving at the deep end and, making a fool of myself and like getting back up and saying, wow, that was an experience.
Life Leaps Podcast: So despite these, you're describing them as funny. I'm sure sometimes they were also like jarring. yeah. different experiences that you have in college.
Kobby: you decide to stay in the us, So,I majored in economics and, I was incredibly lucky to get, an internship at Morgan Stanley on Wall Street.
at that time I wanted to be in finance and,the investment banks did not come to recruit. they wanted Ivy Leagues, but they didn't go to a tiny college, nine hours away from New York,
Life Leaps Podcast: a little too far for the, just
Kobby: a little bit, but I was able to get an internship my [00:12:00] junior year, on Wall Street.
and then I got a job at Credit Suis, after college. before. Spring semester, senior year, I already had a job. and, finance, investment banking at that time was probably,the highest paying job you can get, out of college. So this was 2005. So it was a really interesting journey from four years ago, barely being able to afford a flight to America and, literally four years in getting a job at, one of the premier, investment banks, which doesn't exist anymore.
but at a time, 2005, it was big. It was a really fast trajectory.
Life Leaps Podcast: And Kabi, I wanna pause for a second on that because now we're getting into the territory of you getting on this path, andSpoiler alert. We all know you left that path, but I'm curious, like what caused you to [00:13:00] go there in the first place?
because, look, you yourself said you're in like a small liberal arts school in upstate New York. the majority of folks there are not going, into where you worked. It wasn't just like this natural progression
I think a lot of it was,
Kobby: I'd always, I. wanted to do hard challenge and things that I literally have no idea what I'm getting myself into. and so that was, a, a sort of,maybe a more of a natural pro progression from that desire. But,at that time, it was well paying.
You were going to learn a lot. I was very convinced that the training that you got would allow you to do a lot of different things, in the future. So I knew I wanted to go to business school and,having that background,was,was really helpful,But it was also incredibly challenging. there were times when I was working a hundred hour weeks,
and, I started losing my hair,at that job, just because of the stress. so it's incredibly challenging, physically, intellectually.
So you go from [00:14:00] upstate New York, Amish country to probably another culture shock, like New York City, the investment banking world. okay. All right. So you're, you're working crazy hours, you're making good money.
Life Leaps Podcast: Yeah,
Kobby: , I did three years and went directly into business school.
Life Leaps Podcast: All right. yeah, I know you went to business school at Harvard and okay, now you're a dude that goes to Harvard Business School.
I don't know that another leap like Yep. You're moving to Massachusetts. what? Okay. Yeah, tell me.
Kobby: Yeah, I remember. I, yeah, so it was my third year. I used my third year, so I was working a hundred hour weeks studying for the gmas. So that was an incredibly,physically tasking, year and,for what is worth none of my coworkers believe that I would get into Harvard.
Work. and and I remember once I got accepted, they just,really reevaluated who I was. but it was,perhaps maybe stepping back. I think [00:15:00] sometimes, the people that you're with or the people that you spend a lot of time with, sometimes.
don't see your full potential. so I spent my third year applying, and I was able to get into Harvard and, that was really exciting.
Life Leaps Podcast: Kavi, I just wanna glom onto something you just mentioned, which is the people around me didn't believe I could get in or weren't rooting for me to get in, what's up with that?
why do you say that? what, and if that was the case, what do you think was it that made you be like, I am not going to limit myself by the expectations of those around me. I'm doing this thing anyways. Like, Tell me more about that.
Kobby: Yeah, I think it's a threat that I've seen all throughout my life where every leap that I've done,has been,surprising to those closest,to me.
And, I don't think it's unique to me. I think it's very, actually quite common when you're making some of these changes. and I think it's just people expect you to follow a certain path and certain [00:16:00] trajectory, and when you just do something a little different,they,they get surprised.
but also I think we know ourselves best. and,fundamentally before you. Take a big leap. no one knows that you could do it. and even you, yourself, you can have doubts. So it's not exactly clear from the outside whether this particular person,can do it.
And typically I think,people who go to, Harvard Business School,it's more likely if they've gone to an Ivy League undergrad, and, perhaps my colleagues didn't imagine or see that, in me.
I've never really warned about that. I remember. I remember when I was, applying to colleges, in the US my dad point blank said that, I don't have the money. and when I got in, I remember him saying that he didn't think I would.
so I think it's always wow. I think it's just a very kind of common phenomenon that you see your potential. [00:17:00] Potential is not visible, right? but only you can feel it the most. and so I think these leaps sometimes are helpful in bringing that potential out into the world so that people around you can see you truly for who you are.
Life Leaps Podcast: Kavi, that's kind of intense that your dad told you once you got in that he didn't think that you would. Did you sense that while you were applying. do you think that was something that you intuitively or explicitly knew and had to push past? Or was it only after you did it that you learned that he was like, oh wow, you did it, but I didn't think you could.
Oh, I knew before. I knew before. Okay. Yep. I knew before. Okay. Because you say that it's a common thread that you know for people not to believe in you. And I don't know that's always true. I sometimes you hear people being like, I had this feeling and then so and so believed in me and that helped me believe in myself, whatever.
Kobby: [00:18:00] But it sounds like for you, you really, you had to cultivate the belief in you. Like it wasn't just steadily coming as a stream from oth all sides yeah, I would say that's more true of me.
Okay. and I don't fault others. I think it's just because typically, like in my family, we, I don't think had anyone who had gone abroad on a full scholarship, for undergraduate studies for college, right? So typically when the data points aren't there,you, you can't fault others for not saying that perhaps you might be the first data point, right?
so it's, I think it's actually very fair, from others. It's just that. when someone believes in you, it tends to be that they've seen someone similar, like you make those leaps. So the belief is actually a lot easier. so I don't,I fully understand where people,come from and it doesn't really factor a lot in my [00:19:00] decision making.
but I think I've had to internally self generate a lot of energy to make the leaps.
Life Leaps Podcast: I think it's so powerful that you just said that. And,I like wanna reflect on that and just put it back into the world and make sure I have, cuz I, I think that what you just said is
look, I can choose to personalize and internalize when someone doesn't believe in me.
And even to phrase it that way, doesn't believe in me. No, maybe just didn't believe that particular goal I was trying to achieve, I was like statistically likely to achieve it. Maybe your dad's just very honest, right? Like he was just being honest, number one. And number two, like you said, statistically speaking, maybe the chances weren't very high.
And so Yep, exactly. okay, but I think that's a really,it's a really helpful sort of rational, neutral way to view when this keeps coming up in life, the fact that you may not have everybody being like, yeah, you can do this.
Of course you can. And being okay with that [00:20:00] and being like, I'm gonna give it a shot anyways
and this is a common thread in our interviews, as I think back to it, I keep thinking back to this one interview I did with a teacher who left the profession and turned into a podcast or a consultant, so many other things, Jodi Scissors.
and she said, again, in a totally different context than what you're describing, cuz she was teaching, but she was like, I really had to look outside of the schoolhouse to get ideas for what I could do next because within the world I was in all that people could see. And you can't fault them for that.
You had to learn not to fault them. Yeah. You can't. It was just, what they saw was the ladders in front of them and the things that they were used to and the things that they did and that they felt were possible and you can't personalize it. And also with Coach G, another interview that I did, he was like a fitness instructor who traveled the world and,
he said, at the time, his significant other, he felt didn't believe in him in pursuing this fitness dream when they were living in Rome together. And he was like, I was really hurt at first. [00:21:00] And then I realized when somebody doesn't believe in or buy into or feel your dream, it just means it wasn't for them.
Like it's okay. Yeah. That dream wasn't for them. Yep. It was for you. It is for you. And it's, and that's gotta be okay.
Kobby: Yeah. yeah, there, there's almost always a lot of projection in what people say. People project from their experiences. and and so you absolutely can't follow them for that.
and I actually think in a certain way it helps, you know? Maybe I'm pushing, I'm actually pushing hard right now, right? it, it helps you know that, oh, I'm actually hidden the barrier of this fear of possibilities that others have for me and for themselves, right?
so it's actually very good information and,it should not be personal at all. I think it's always we're limited by our imaginations and, people have different sort of imaginations [00:22:00] of what, others should be, what they themselves could be, right?
So there's no need to, be limited by people's imaginations.
It's
Life Leaps Podcast: like I've got my own self-limiting thoughts and imagination to deal with. I can't also let myself be limited by the confines of your imagination, which is fueled by your own issues and limitations. Yep. And I think we're all guilty of this is. I'll say this last thing that I promise, we'll move on, but I'm just swimming in this for a minute.
I think we're all guilty of this. I am absolutely guilty of this as like social creatures in search of affirmation. Yep. If you matter to me, and you know what, some days, even if you're a stranger, I am guilty of wanting you to believe in my dream. I want you to believe in my dream. I want you to feel like I've got it figured out.
I've got it together. whatever it is. It's like I'm guilty of not even just wanting, but needing you to believe in my vision. Yeah. And yeah, I think that there is a sliver of that, that is rooted in reality, right? Like we are [00:23:00] communal beings.
we need sounding boards and gut checks that we can trust on this earth. we're not an island. Yep. And yet, how do we parse out when we're doing that, like helpful reality checking, sounding, boarding with the people we trust versus like just letting other people's limits become our own, basically.
Yeah.
Kobby: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, the natural tendency and the valid need is to have as many people affirm in your path,as possible, right? So when you have it, that's really great, right?
but I do think thatif you're pushing a little hard enough, you're gonna run into. people's limits of imagination very quickly, and again, it's to no fault of theirs. It's just simply that you are just pushing a little far enough. and what I find is that most of the time they come around, right?
even when it doesn't work out most of the time, the, they realize that, oh, [00:24:00] wow, you did take a leap. Isn't that courageous? And isn't that bold? Don't I want that for myself? and I fundamentally, that's how progress is made, right? Is someone brings or does something new that was not expected.
if it's expected, then it's probably not going to, change the world, I do think that it's natural to want that affirmation. And also natural to realize that sometimes you may not have it, but you do have to do what you need to do.
Life Leaps Podcast: And speaking of doing what you need to do and using that imagination to do it.
Yeah. okay, so you went to business school, you are back in the grind again For how long did you do that until you had sort of an aha wake up moment or series of moments? tell me.
Kobby: Yeah. So, Part of business school was, to do a career transition, right
I was very passionate about [00:25:00] energy.
most of Africa, if you cut off like, Egypt and South Africa,generates as much electricity as New York City,
at that time. so there was a mission there to say that, Hey, if Africa's economy is gonna grow, we're gonna need a lot of electricity. and
there were very few companies, very few American companies doing it. So after business school, I went to work for the Africa group, within a large energy company called a e s, which is based in Arlington, and Virginia.
I signed up Virginia. Yeah. And I signed up to work, in the Nigeria group. spent a lot of time in Nigeria as a business developer. essentially helping to bring, we had existing power plants there,around Africa. And my job was to bring on kind of new power plants. So it was great because I got to live in dc work in Africa.
my green card filing process didn't get interrupted,and I got to spend a lot of time in Ghana, which is just a 40 minute [00:26:00] flight from Nigeria. I was gonna say, it's just. Yeah, exactly. It was a really great time. I got a lot of what I wanted,
I was very mission driven by what I was doing. and able to see family a lot. it was just really fantastic.
Life Leaps Podcast: So we're getting closer to where you may ultimately end up or wanna be, and things are going swimmingly, but something happens.
Kobby: Yeah. It's 2013, I get my green card and I, had a moment where you felt that you had. I felt that I had really pushed myself to, make a lot of leaps and attain a lot of goals.
coming to the us, going to very good schools, getting, competitive jobs and then, getting a green card, being allowed to stay in the us indefinitely.
I felt that I had really spent a lot of time pushing to attain a lot of goals, and I had attained them, and [00:27:00] then I had this feeling of. A what next? And b, were these oral goals that were really true to me.
Life Leaps Podcast: Thank you all for being here. We're a brand new podcast, so if you enjoyed it, go ahead and follow rate and review us in your podcast app so that we can know what you liked and others can find us. It would mean a lot. Last but not least, we'll keep you posted on brand new episodes each week when you follow us on Facebook or Instagram at you Guessed it like LEAPS podcast.
Till next time.
